It Snowed in DC. Of Course, We Weren’t Ready. » VSB

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It Snowed in DC. Of Course, We Weren’t Ready.

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In snowed in DC this morning. It is important to note what time it snowed (about 5am) because if it had snowed last night or in the really wee hours of the morning then perhaps the mayhem that occurred wouldn’t be as terrible as it was. Mind you, it would still be mayhem, but instead of Hiroshima, we’d get the 17th century. Despite the fact that I live in a region that experiences all four seasons – winter is a season, ya know – one of which that tends to produce some level of snow, the city and area that I call home and pay taxes to rarely gets it right. Which is slightly amazing considering that snow isn’t really a new thing. I’m 35-years-old and I’ve experienced snow for many years.

So snow is at least 35 years old. Well, we got somewhere in the neighborhood of 2-4 inches in the city and immediate surrounding areas and slightly more in out lying areas. Yay. Snow. Honestly, I wouldn’t give a shit about snow removal and how local jurisdicitons either forget to treat the roads or think that weather reports are myths (though to be fair, our weather teams in this region notoriously get things wrong which I’ll just attribute to this being a tricky weather area or something…) except… Wait a minute, ain’t that Brandy’s brother? Yes, we’ll get back to that. As of 11pm last night there wasn’t nan snow on the ground nor were there salt trucks or plows at the ready that I saw. My iPhone told me we’d get snow. Like, I asked Siri and she told me. Siri is a tall glass of water. No matter how hot Siri is – plenty hot – again, the roads which could have been properly treated sucked donkey nuts. My own main artery by my house looked like not one of the alleged 200 trucks had even remembered to cross the bridge into my part of town.

Back to not caring about snow removal, etc. Normally I wouldn’t give a shit about snow except I have a school-aged child. Which means that the VERY first thing I do when I wake up in the morning and I see snow is turn on the television to see if school is delayed or closed altogether for that day. If you’re a parent, you know this routine very well. You probably also check your email. This is one of those things they don’t tell you about being a parent, by the way. It’s something you learn along the way when you’re entire day can be dictated by an inch of snow as you stay glued to your television set.

See, for government employees in DC, snow days are great. It’s a day off. But even if you have to telework, working from home is the bees knees. Not so if you have kids. There are no days off. If your child is off, then somebody has to be off too and rock, paper, scissors usually occurs if you have the luxury of two parents involved. Or if school is delayed then you have to alter your work day to get your kids to school at the necessary time. That two-hour delay is real and can shift your entire day as well. These are things you don’t know until you know, ya know.

There’s also this third added layer. If you’ll remember, my daughter attends private school now. Well, her school follows the Fairfax County, Virigina, school delay and closing schedule. On this 6th day of January in the year of our lord 2015, nearly EVERY single district in this region was AT LEAST delayed by 2 hours. Except for three districts: DC Public Schools (an earthquake would prety much have to swallow all of the schools for them to close for anything…I mean this literally), Arlington County, VA Schools, and Fairfax County, Virginia Schools. This was ridiculous. DC gon’ DC, but the other two? Granted, it started snowing early in the morning, around say, 5am. So the decision to close at the time to delay or close may seem premature. However, it is better to be safe than sorry so at least delay schools to buy yourself some time, says the wise consituents of your district. One you decide to open, then folks get on the roads and you hope you have not fucked the dog.

The dog got fucked this morning. Fairfax County is one of the richest counties in America. It is also huge and has some very rural areas. Which means that snow removal and treatment happens very late if at all in some disparate parts of the county. The reason you delay school is so that school buses can have safe enough roads to drive on when transporting America’s most precious commodity – school lunch – to school. But nope. Noap. They stayed open causing bedlam on the untreated, sometimes unpassable roads leading to the schools, which all seem to be on side roads that no plow is ever going to get down. Two inches of snow might as well have been 6. Which is not what she said.

My daughter’s mother and I decided to keep my daughter home for our own two hour delay hoping the roads would get better. By the time I picked up and took my daughter to school the roads still sucked. The roads around her school however? Absolute trash, yo. The roads were completely coated with snow. I can honestly say I was concerned for the entire car ride. It’s one thing if I kill myself, but I have my child in the car with me. I miss my Uncle Charles too, but he can’t have my kid.

I know that the deicison to keep schools open was made based on information at the time. It snowed more than expected (it almost always does…except when it doesn’t. Apples. Like them.). But the clusterfuck that happened early – the traffic map of DC was one big ass red marker, and the vast majority of school districts were at least delayed or closed – seems like for the sake of the safety of the kids could have been somewhat avoided. Now principals are sending out emails apologizing. And I’m

Oh, and the region gets to do this again this afternoon when I go BACK to pick up my child at the same time as everybody else. Kids, yo: taking all the fun out of snow days.

Amazingly, I signed up to do this again.

What?

Happy Monday.

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • Val

    Mane, I grew up in NYC and I really can’t remember there being more than maybe one day when school was cancelled for snow and I don’t remember it ever being delayed. If I woke up and it was snowing I just got dressed and put my snow boots on. No biggie. Now it seems schools close whenever someone mentions the word ‘snow’. Did somebody say snow? Okay, close the schools! Lol

    • camilleblu

      #lissen…we got 5.5 inches this morning and i heard the hum of the snow plows sprucing up my neighborhood streets at starting 4:30 this morning. DC tripping for real.

      • Val

        Yep, in NY I remember always hearing the salt trucks followed by the plows.

    • Nicholas Peters

      I saw flurries…I got back in bed…I love DC…didn’t even have to stick

      • Val

        Lol. It’s a shame your city is so predictable.

    • Kim

      lol Yes you had to puddle(slush) jump your arse to school.

  • OSHH

    Yeah folks on the WAPO comments section were heated about FCPS.
    At my good government job,*smirk* I thought we’d at least get a delay but no such happenings, I have to physically come in, so I left early enough so there was no issue and plan on leaving @ 2 this afternoon. The timing of it all, was the most significant factor, now the thing is freezing cold temps and ice tomorrow.

  • Rachmo

    It took me 30 minutes to drive two blocks. and my car was swerving the entire way. Womp womp on the shytty snow removal.

    • uniquebeauty79

      Thank God you got home safely still. In Alabama if it snows you would think they were taping an episode of the Walking Dead….abandoned cars and whatnot…People sliding home instead of driving, It’s always a mess here when it does snow. Always.

      • Rachmo

        Girl I am at work and I has the sads about it. It was just as dangerous to turn around and go home once I made it those two blocks (it’s on a big hill). But I’m sure I’ll get home safely.

        • uniquebeauty79

          Oh geez, well God and I are friends, I’ll tell him to look after all of my VSB Commenting family heading home.

          • Rachmo

            Hahaha thanks!

  • SororSalsa

    Amazingly, I signed up to do this again.

    Ummm, Panama? Do you have something to share with the class???

    • Lea Thrace

      I peeped that little aside too!

      • camilleblu

        mmmhmmm…pj ain’t slick…he knows the streets is watching after that comment.

    • MeridianBurst

      lmao. Panama is married. He and his wife were having problems but they worked it out and he knocked her up. Swear to God. You guys have gotta learn to speak n*gga. It’s in the posts! Damon tell us! That’s at least .457% accurate.

      • Lea Thrace

        Maam. That is a really interesting backstory you came up with there. Any basis in reality?

        • SororSalsa

          IKR???? I don’t read VSB every day, but when was that tidbit discussed?

          • camilleblu

            lol..never…ms meridian is convinced of it tho…maybe she knows something we don’t know.

            • MeridianBurst

              I’m dead a*s convinced he’s married. Not really, but I wouldn’t be surprised. I don’t know anything specific but I just think he has a love language and I’m deciding he said he’s married and she’s pregnant now.

              • SororSalsa

                Ok Solange…..

                • MeridianBurst

                  Twenty bucks says I’m right.

                • camilleblu

                  lololol!

              • If PJ is married then I’m a 6’4″ darkskinned man named Todd.

                • camilleblu

                  hahahahahaha!

                • MeridianBurst

                  Okay, maybe he isn’t married but I’m definitely starting a betting pool. I think he’s with someone and he was being a braveheart about it just for the sake of having some fun today. He’s either flirting with her via post subbing or he’s actually teasing an announcement she’s pregnant.

                  • camilleblu

                    i’ono about anything else…but he’s DEFINITELY teasing the shorty announcement. definitely.

                    • MeridianBurst

                      I know he is. I think he should just let her be great for a second so we can all get our lives by judging her and asking way too many questions.

        • MeridianBurst

          lol, no.

        • h.h.h.

          Any basis in reality?

          Woman’s intuition

          https://hotboxfiles.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/idris-gif.gif

          • MeridianBurst

            LOL. WhatEHver. Y’all are his friends so you shoulda noticed him skipping through meadows. That’s called observational skills homeboy but woman’s intuition is still undefeated.

            • panamajackson

              Woman’s intuition: Infinity wins, one loss then.

              • MeridianBurst

                You still have dandelions stuck in your toes.

          • Off-Topic, we never talked about the ending to Naruto.

            • h.h.h.

              well i don’t think there was a true ending…a couple of the pairings did surprise me tho

        • miss t-lee

          LMFAO

          • camilleblu

            don’t you just love how she framed that question? i have been getting my shyts n’ giggles today fo’sho…

            • miss t-lee

              I sure did. It was epitome of sh*tty sweetness, in which I’m well versed.

            • MeridianBurst

              ….She probably framed it to go along with my “.457% accuracy” quip but I’m sure being bright enough to realize that was dulled when watching trash television.

              • camilleblu

                I’m just seeing this. Girl, fuck you.

                • MeridianBurst

                  You thought it was cool to try to make me look stupid. That’s on you.

                  • camilleblu

                    Make you look stupid?? What in the world are you talking about?Listen -YOU claimed that certain folks said that pj gets the pannies dropped for him with ease. I asked you when that claim was stated. YOU went left – for what, exactly? Because you couldn’t answer the damb question? That’s on YOU. As far as Lea thrace’s comment, the shyt was funny. Period. As was a lot of shyt that was said today. Nobody acted funky all day but you. You can get the entire fuck outta here with your bullshyt today. Ain’t nobody making you look stupid but you.

                    • MeridianBurst

                      None of that has anything to do with this simple fact: She asked me a question and I answered it. You came in after I answered it and tried to make it something malicious. You shouldn’t have done that. Other than that, laugh away. I know I have been.

                    • camilleblu

                      Malicious? Because I thought her comment was funny? You reaching like a motherfucker. Folks throw shade every dayum day on this blog – including you, but it’s malicious when shyt is funny and directed at you? Ok.

                    • MeridianBurst

                      Okay then so what are you mad for?? You shaded me and I shaded you back. F*ck me though. Okay. I don’t know what you expect me to say. If it bothered you that much it’s unfortunate but I don’t have a problem. You don’t have to be cool with me. No sweat off my back.

                    • camilleblu

                      lol…EYE never shaded you. Lea Thrace asked the question, not I. Nobody got told to chill today but you.

                      #readtheroom

                      Dayum

                    • MeridianBurst

                      Well hey, if you didn’t shade me I didn’t shade you either. The only person who got responded to was me. The only person who got a smoothie and a lighthearted response was me. Read that how you want to. This is me dropping it.

                    • camilleblu

                      Yeah…the smoothie offer came AFTER he told you to chill. But, great. I’m glad you’re finally dropping it.

                    • MeridianBurst

                      Fine.

                    • camilleblu

                      Wonderful.

                    • MeridianBurst

                      Peachy.

                    • camilleblu

                      Marvelous.

                    • MeridianBurst

                      Excellent.

                    • camilleblu

                      Outfuckingstanding.

                    • MeridianBurst

                      SpottieOttieDopalicious.

                    • camilleblu

                      Kindredthefamilysoul

                    • MeridianBurst

                      Tsunami/SayItAnyway.

                    • camilleblu

                      So…so Is this the part where I slam my door and then you slam your door? I haven’t engaged in such pettiness in so long, that I don’t remember quite how it works.

                      #pleaseGAWDletitbeso

                      #doesntmatterimdoneregardless

                      #idontfuckwithU

                      Be blessed

                    • MeridianBurst

                      Door closed.

                    • MeridianBurst

                      *shrugs*

                • *emoji eye*
                  *ducks into the shadows and runs for cover*

                  • for real.

                  • camilleblu

                    Yo…this bytch is trippin for real. She’s got to be directly related to #cheriann

                    • The real tea today is….

                      MY PANTHERS ARE STILL IN THE PLAYOFFSS!!!!!

                      BOOM!!!!

                      WHAT’S HANNENIN’!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                    • -_-

                    • Haters they gone hate!!!! HAHAHA!!!!!! Nah, y’all will scoop up Mariota in the draft and start building a team around him.

                    • MeridianBurst

                      Not really. You made a mistake. You’re acting so upset over something that isn’t even that big of a deal.

                    • camilleblu

                      Nah. I didn’t mistake shyt. I don’t know why you so firmly believe that I did something to you today. How is me saying that the way a question was framed was funny a diss to you?

                    • MeridianBurst

                      If my response to you wasn’t that big of a deal to you than you should be able to drop it. There’s nothing here to even keep dragging out. I’m over it. I don’t have a problem. If you do than it’s on you.

                    • camilleblu

                      Welp. You’re more than welcome to stop responding.

                • miss t-lee

                  ????????????????????????????????????

                • O_o I was trying to ascertain what you really meant by this comment, buuuuut I think you said it all. lol

                  • camilleblu

                    lol…chile…that entire exchange was asinine – chameleonic back working her disjointed magic. smh.

  • LeeLee

    I live West of Fairfax County and ummm, yeah. The roads were trash. Earlier in the morning, around 5:30am or so, they were telling people to delay their arrival times at work. So I waited. Three hours later, it was like, “Hey, if you don’t have to be out, stay home.” Traffic incidents grew progressively worse by then. VDOT reported at least 21 minor crashes this morning. 21! When it comes to snow in major cities (DC, *cough*, ATL) timing is everything! Not to mention, let’s be real, not everyone in this area knows how to drive safely in the snow. I heard snow plows were stuck in traffic along with everybody else when they tried to clear the roads as the snow was still coming down. Look, I know DC and NoVa don’t want to look “soft” for shutting things down for a few inches of snow. But if the plows can’t clear the roads in time, I’d rather we look ‘soft’ and be safe.

    • StillSuga

      Word to Big Bird. I’m from Chicago so it hurts my heart some of the reasons why they’ve shut stuff down here when it comes to weather, but four people I know got into accidents on the roads today. For 4-5 inches accumulated! Just shut it down already, sheesh!

  • Lea Thrace

    Um…. Is there a mini Panamontana growing somewhere? What?!

    Do try to slip that tidbit by us. Congrats!

    • Val

      Huh? How’d I miss this?

      • miss t-lee

        I read it twice, I’m still not sure if that was an admission or not.
        oh well.

        • Rachmo

          Let’s assume the affirmative.

          • miss t-lee

            I’m forever oblivious…lol

        • PeezusSimping

          !!! This nigga is the King sh*t of saying things he didn’t quite say. Panama = 12 second Marvel preview.

    • Mimzi

      peeped that one too

    • Marie

      And a mini Panamontana’s Mom! Now I’m kinda sad. ????

    • menajeanmaehightower

      I thought he meant he is going to pick her up from school again this afternoon.

      • Lea Thrace

        Dont ruin our fun with logic and reason MenaJean!

        • BreezyX2

          Right! Also I downvoted your comment Mena :)

      • Rachmo

        Mena just come to the dark side Queen.

    • panamajackson
  • MeridianBurst

    Private school in Fairfax County. Guess you’re gonna need a Hot Todd-y to go with all that humble snow struggle.

    I don’t mind the snow. The worst I’ve driven in was about 10 inches during a blizzard and it took me hours to get home. I’ve also driven the days after an icestorm and have really had to learn to work the gears of my car because of it. The usual inclement weather is just like a rainy day to me so I’m pretty comfy with the road conditions. Rush hour traffic in inclement weather is what bothers me about it. Good lord.

  • Lisa Harris

    I live in Columbia, work in DC. I got to work in time to have lunch. Like you, I don’t get why this area is so bad at snow. We get at least a little every winter. Often we get A LOT.

  • Agatha Guilluame

    Is Sham pregnant?

    • BreezyX2

      *Screams*

    • camilleblu

      DEAD

    • Rachmo

      I quit you now and forever

      • camilleblu

        #lissen…. i’m quitting her so bad i went i got the patch.

        • Lea Thrace

          She’s like heroin man. There is no getting off that horse. Give in!

    • h.h.h.
      • Agatha Guilluame

        probably

  • camilleblu

    yeah..my dad lives in fairfax county and he’s always talmbout how bad the roads are. smh…way too much money in that area for that kind of fuckery.

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