Is Your Sex Worth It?

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Look at her Jean-Jacque. It's cheaper to keep her AND smang her. Hit her off a couple times and save $12K. It doesn't even have to be good!

We live in an odd world with an odd future. Wolf gang kill them all. Hell, Lil Wayne, an artist that for all intents and purposes is on that Mary J Blige Art plan – you know, needs to be high to produce quality art – just sold a million copies of an album in his first week. For the second time. This in a time when Kanye West and Jay-Z, two of the biggest hip-hop artists, combined project has yet to crack the million sales mark after being on the charts for three weeks.

And yes, I realize that the terms quality and Lil Wayne go together as well as hot and fat chicks, but to each his own and like it or not, Lil Wayne is prone to flashes of brilliance. By the way, I’m totally losing my point.

Ah yes, my point. So we live in an odd world. And in just in case you aren’t sure, our good friends, the Frenchpeople, have decided to make some revolutionary moves in the realm of marriage and divorce. You see, a Frenchman was recently fined and ordered to pay his ex-wife damages…

…for lack of sex in their marriage. Maywage, that bwessed instution.

Basically, buddy didn’t live up to his required duties as a husband in the bedroom and wasn’t laying the wang down enough. And you know what…he had to pay what he owed.

To wit:

The 51-year-old man was fined under article 215 of France’s civil code, which states married couples must agree to a “shared communal life”.

A judge has now ruled that this law implies that “sexual relations must form part of a marriage”.

The rare legal decision came after the wife filed for divorce two years ago, blaming the break-up on her husband’s lack of activity in the bedroom.

A judge in Nice, southern France, then granted the divorce and ruled the husband named only as Jean-Louis B. was solely responsible for the split.

But the 47-year-old ex-wife then took him back to court demanding 10,000 euros in compensation for “lack of sex over 21 years of marriage”.

Those damn French. I tell you. I like their style. While I’m not sure I agree on having to pay a fine for not giving up the goods in the bedroom I do find it somewhat comical that a judge actually granted a divorce on the grounds of, well, no sex. Then again, those would irreconcilable differences like a motherf*cker. Especially after 21 years of marriage. Can you imagine being married to somebody for that long and having the wackest bedroom booty life ever?

Which begs the question, let’s say that over here, in America, you could be compensated for this malady in your marriage as part of the divorce proceedings. Just how in the f*ck do you come up with a reasonable fine for not giving up the goods? Is there some mathematical formula for just how many sexual encounters you SHOULD have had under reasonable circumstances, weighted for how many children you have, and a monetary value is assigned to each boink? What’s a reasonable amount of money to assign per smang? Fifty bucks? One hundred? Do they take into account inflation? What about the lagging economy? What about potential stressors due to job insecurity? What if your wife makes you watch stuff like “Say Yes To The Dress?” I mean that would limp me up right quick. Jeers to the freakin’ weekend, I can’t smang to that.

Here’s a better question, do you think people would be more inclined to indulge their partners in sexcapades if you knew you’d have to pay what you owed (like Santa) if you didn’t? With the exchange rate, dude got fined nearly $12,000 dollars for not smanging down his wife enough over the past 21 years. Do you know how much cut-up I could get for $12K??

I’m ’bout dat life. I remember reading something about some pastor attempting to require his congregants to engage in some form of sex for 30 days straight in an attempt to bring that necessary intimacy back into people’s lives. I think it’s very necessary. The point where you no longer want to touch your partner is obviously the beginning of the end. And it becomes sooo easy to just not do anything. That one day turns into two days turns into a month turns into a year and next thing you know you’ve had sex three times in the past five years and get your rocks off to the Bang Bro’s catalog and Vogue magazine.

You know what the f*ck sh*t is? This woman wanted to smang her husband and he cold shouldered her. Now, conventional wisdom tells us that dude was probably cheating. But don’t most men do that because they’re not getting it at home? And yet we seem to have a wife here who wanted to do her husband and he was blowing her off. No pun intended. That sucks. Again, no pun intended. She was SO offput that she filed a motherf*cking suit around it? Do you know how pissed off you have to make somebody for them to find THIS legal loophole? Like that’s just sticking it to the man.

Seriously, I’m not trying to pun it up. It just comes so easy.

Sorry.

I’ll tell you what, if my wife (assuming I ever get me one) tries to divorce me she’ll have to die because she ain’t gettin’ half OJ SIMPSON it won’t be for lack of smanging. Not if I’ll have to pay. She’ll get that opportunity every day and I’ll document it.

For the record ladies, you hold out on the PJ Smang and you’re getting hit up for WAY more than $12k. My smangage over 21 years is gonna run you a cool million. Bet that.

What do y’all think? Do the French have it right? Should  there be some sort of financial penalty for withholding sex from  your spouse? Should sex be legally constituted to be part of the institution of marriage in a legally binding fashion?

And what’s your going rate? No streetwalker.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3 IN THEORY BUT I HEARD FROM ASHENKASHAY YOU GOT TO CARRY THE 1

270 thoughts on “Is Your Sex Worth It?”

  2. Eh men need this. Lol we women have enough issues. No s.e.x in the champagne room for us means leaving the door open for some hussy. We have been trained that its part of our duty to give it up and ninjas love to quote that scripure about your body not being your own once u get married. So I’m glad ninja bring your A game or pay to pass lol

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    • there is evil in your soul. i can see it.

      but let’s also not front like all women are ready, willing, and able to constantly give it up. all the time. now maybe you all are less inclined to say “no”, but based on television, movies, and knowledged passed down from the griots, it aint like all these women are actually going after their husband’s wangs either.

      btw, i had no point with that.

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      • no they arent but there is built in repercussions to not doing it. Men have very few repercussions in this area. It seems that women carry the responsibility for bedroom hapiness this makes it a little closer to even. Its not just about the woman pleasing the man. S.e.x should be about both people in the relationship.

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  4. A husband and wife were down on their luck. The wife told her husband, “I’m just gonna do it. I’m gonna prostitute.” She went out, returned home some time later and told her husband she’d made fifty dollars and twenty-five cents. He asked, “Which SOB gave you $.25? She replied, “All of them.” :D

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  5. I don’t think American marriage could take that hit in all honesty. Sex is supposed to fun. Making it a legal obligation takes the fun out of it once you’re done role-playing with the idea. I don’t think the quality will be raised at all. I guarantee it won’t from women. It’ll probably create far more bitterness than adventurous sex.

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      • its not about pity pu$$y of which i am totally against but when you agree to marry someone you take on the responsibility of s.e.xing them. Period point blank otherwise why are you married?
        it doesnt mean you have to s.e.x them whenever however with no regard for your own feelings and emotions but it is an obligation on BOTH parts and you guys should want to work at making it the best for BOTH of you.

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        • Are you assuming there won’t be extended periods where you simply cannot stand the sight, smell or presence of your spouse? Cause people who are or have been married know that is how it bees. Sometimes. Like months. If they are telling the truth. But forget I said that. If people knew the truth and didn’t buy into Disney, wed have fewer marriages than we do now. Carry on….

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          • eh I think you can get an annulment for the inability to perform in the Catholic church. In America you can sue for loss of consortium if your partner is harmed in an accident on the job or in a wreck for there inability to smang you. I do think it should be grounds for divorce but not a fee associated with. Who the heck is trying to wait for there fees to accrue. Id want out the marriage!

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          • @wild cougar. Im 10 years in. There shouldnt be EXTENDED periods are there times when Im not feeling it? does he get on my nerves? yes, but I dont have extended periods of tiem where I cant stand the smell or presence of my spouse

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              • I see you Sagey Bear cosignin thems that disagree and swingin at thems that agree wit me. I think you must like how my azz bounces the way you runnin behind me tryna smack it. Lol. Muah!

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                • no…I honestly disagree with you here…

                  I don’t like how every interaction you have is fully predicated by an earlier one that may or may not be related.

                  I directly refuse that as intelligence and more like reactionary posturing. It doesn’t allow you to live…it allows you to be a tool of your insecurities and fears.

                  So, I have no idea how your tail taste/bounces but I’m sure it is sour just like your forever sour pucker face.

                  I don’t get along with bitter, self-restricting, small minded people. A five year could prove me wrong…could prove you wrong. Except I don’t act like I’m beyond it. I know wrong when I see it….you walk around spewing forth hateful rhetoric. Sharp derision and becoming universally accepted as a malcontent. That World must be ishtty to live in…no wonder everything that comes out of it is either borderline caustic or nearly vitriolic.

                  I’m not looking to disagree with you. But what she said represents my idea exactly: with different people you get different results because pointing fingers and associating failure with others ain’t a focal point of tally marking the pros and cons.

                  Basically, ATTITUDE is everything and as long as ours clash, my co-signing your opposite is NOTHING PERSONAL. Say something nice and I’ll agree with you….but what you share lately is so negative. You haven’t been paying attention to my responses. I attempt to avoid directly appraising others. I attempt to spin things positively…WHY? Because I am happy to be me and IDK how to help but I know happy people make others happy. So I’m going to keep trying until somebody acknowledges and smiles.

                  Not deter people with depression, lamentation and fears. Encouragement is love. Not horrible experiences that you had more than the amount of control necessary to help it come out positive. You made choices…OWN them shts. Stop pawning off the responsibility to ain’t ish dudes. Thats the first sign a woman ain’t worth her worth…she’ll speak poorly on the men she involved herself with while giving herself an excuse. It reflects on herself either way so…..smh

                  but at this point….I’m well beyond it, I just wish you wouldn’t share so much decidedly bitter perspective. Since i cannot control your positivity….I’ll just co-sign the people that are the most self actualizing while being positive….yes i think you are crazy….yes much of what I say loses integrity but that don’t mean it loses truth and that is fine….I am no spokesman….but I do care and that is my soapbox. I’ll be that. Mr. Attempt-a-do gooder

                  Are we clear? Say something positive and I’m in your corner regardless our beef….but be wrong in my eyes and of course I’ll disagree. Easy enough. I’m boring, I’m simple and I’m going to improve my grip on happiyness everyday. Whether I’m right or wrong. Real talk….all day…by myself…..!!!!

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          • Wow, months without sex… I can’t imagine that. My husband thinks 2 to 3 times a week is not enough. I could not imagine going months, even when we went through our “i hate you phase.” But I guess i live in Disney land…lol

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            • 2 to 3 times a week isn’t enough? Dang, don’t p3n1ses ever get irritated? Don’t muscles get cramped or sore? If this frequency includes stuff other than intercourse, then I can understand.

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              • In every relationship I have been in, some 4+ yrs, some 6+ yrs everyday is more like the frequency . we’d spend a lot of our times together but I can’t speak for being married cause I haven’t been yet, but I would want to have as much loving as possible.

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    • Look how far we’ve come with innovations around sex just due to how much people want it. Imagine how far in the forefront of sex technology we’d be if it were a legal requirement!

      I say, bring it on!

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  6. good boondocks reference it was funny.
    i think it might be a slippery slope to start a policy that fines people who don’t perform in marriages. it can help marriages, but it can also be very easily, possibly too easily, manipulated and abused. people will lie just to get more money, and it limits autonomy by telling people when they can and can’t have sex. besides, how do you figure out whether the married couple are having enough sex?

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  7. Oh and yes. S.e.x is a legally binding part. Hell your not even considered married if it hasn’t been consummated. It is part of your duty because while you can (though I don’t advise it) have emotional ties outside of the marriage s.e.x is the only thing you are suppose to share only with your spouse(unless yall swingers or like threesomes nttawwt) so to withhold it is cruel and unusual punishment .

    Reply ↓

      • Agreed, but here’s the “hmmm” part…..what counts as ‘consumation’? A blow-out? Full entry (either front or back)? A simple “drop it like it’s hot then hop off”? Sorry for being graphic…..I’m imaginative. =/

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        • Consummate defined:
          1. Make (a marriage or relationship) complete by having sexual intercourse.
          2. To bring to completion or fruition; conclude:

          With that I would say that it means that penetration is complete and both parties are *ehem* satisfied. :)

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          • “With that I would say that it means that penetration is complete and both parties are *ehem* satisfied.”

            Man, if the marriage isn’t official until BOTH parties are satisfied, then there are probably ALL KINDS of illegitimate marriages out here. If ppl really have to wait on the woman to be satisfied then I could easily see the average time between wedding and the marriage becoming official being no less than 2 years on average…and that’s a conservative estimate. Smh

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  8. Like, I don’t even know what to say about this. Sex is necessary in any relationship unless the folks are decidedly asexual (watched some Discovery Channel thing about asexual couples a while back…side note, how does one find someone else asexual? websites, dating sites….weird)

    Anyway, unless people are asexual then sex is necessary to a healthy relationship. And when folks start denying and finding reasons why they can’t get it in, it could signal the beginning of the end.

    But, payment doe? I’m guessing dudes will be all over this ruling. Can’t say I blame them. I’m just a bit stumped as to how one determines the value of non-sex in a relationship. Will defendants now have to bang the jury in order for them to assess if you are indeed worthy of more or less compensation? I was playing with that statement, but that sounds like a premise for a p0rn….I’d watch it. LOL

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  9. i’m so perplexed by this case…like…yeah, divorce the mutha(non)f**ker if he’s not giving it up…but how this translates into $ is lost on me.

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  10. All I’m saying is…… its going to be in the pre-nup the kinda smanging that needs to go down with me and mine or that nicca will PAY!!! LOL I’m kidding….. I
    No but really isn’t this the same as alienation of affection? In NC a woman sued the mistress and won $9M http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Business/wife-wins-million-husbands-alleged-mistress/story?id=10177637 – and this same law got Fanny (Fantasia) sued so their is a precedent for this. Its not far fetched #WOMP!
    There must be some mean hot links out there that women want to get paid for not getting it!!!

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    • I thought about that case as well when reading this. I guess if we (women) can sue the other woman, we can let men have this as their legal/moral/sexual victory.

      *I do realize a woman sued her former husband, but I can just see men being all over this in court and trying to get every dollar they can out of their ex for breech of sexual relations contract duties.

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        • I don’t know. If it was a deliberate plot to steal affections and it was provable in the court of law, then sure. But, I’d say it should be a co-defendant type of thing with the other person and former spouse. It takes two to tango.

          Otherwise, I do agree that it’s jacked up. I guess the old school laws (the law she sued under was written decades ago) were to ensure moral chastity among women/men? Iono…it’s the south so that sounds about right (no shots, just saying…Bible belt and all)

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          • Yea, I can understand the thought behind it but I always say CHECK WITCHA MAN. I’m not saying the other woman/man is fault free but the third party is not the one who took vows. I think if the cheater is the one that has to face the consequences, maybe, just maybe they’ll think twice.

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            • The cheater faces consequences during the divorce proceedings.

              I have heard of this old NC law and the case, and I have to say I’m surprised by the number of women who felt that the other woman shouldn’t be prosecuted… especially since (I believe) the premise behind the law was that it had to be established that the other woman knew about you and your relationship and still engaged in an affair with your man.

              Interesting…

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                • I don’t think it’s uncommon for women to get pregnant again right after an abortion by the same guy… I’ve seen it a few times IRL (not saying my anecdote translates into statistical significance, but I have seen it quite a bit more than it seems I should)

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          • i think have a problem with the term “steal affections”. maybe it just sounds too ridiculous to me. like you can’t steal something that somebody’s willing to give away. like some other woman ain’t steal your sh*t. it aint like a one-for-one replacement. or b/c some other woman is getting the love you CAN’T get the love. affections is affections. and my name is my name.

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            • Hmm, but say, for pretends, your lady love, is a wonderful person. She doesn’t like to cook and you don’t care too much, you like take out. And say she’s boring in the sack, and a little selfish, but you don’t mind, you like to give. And say she’s a little bit cold, but you love the chase and when you get some affection, its that much sweeter.

              Then along comes hugging, kissing, wanna blow your , uh, mind, cook her azz off. And gives you what you never knew you were missing. You don’t love the woman, but you start comparing. Then getting a little dissatisfied….

              Ain’t it possible your affections could be stolen? Maybe? Not saying they would be, but could it be possible?

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              • i guess in its most abstract terminology, perhaps. but i just don’t buy it. you can affectionize beaucoup people at once. if you aint getting affections from somebody, nobody else took them, they just aint giving them to you.

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            • I believe the legal term is “alienation” and although I agree with it’s use for children of divorce, I don’t see how it would automatically translate to adults. I can see how it could apply to children; parents could play mind games with a child to make a child mistrust and/or dislike the other parent. To imply that grown-up could to the same to another grown-up really seems unlikely- but possible- possibly in a slanderous manner?

              I tell you your girl ain’t no good, I saw her with some guy, she told me she wanted a divorce- I fill a man’s head with doubt and mistrust so he will hopefully leave his wife for me. I can see how that is similar but I think after a certain age it isn’t criminal; it’s just people lying like people tend to do.

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    • Yes, put it in teh pre-nup! lol
      The alienation of affection is a tab bit more understandable than this situation. Alienation is due to another party being present in the marriage while this is contained between only those who committed to the marriage.
      Just amazes me how people can sue for anything these days. More power to them cause if I can get a penny out of you I might too. lmbo

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