Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

Is This What Growed Up Feels Like?

The only NWA I can get with nowadays! Take that Dr. Dre!

Personal growth is a motherlover. Especially when you don’t see it coming. And in some ways it can make you ashamed of who you were just hours before. Or make you call into question decisions you made that led to you making it to the point where you could realize growth that you now have hours later that you didn’t have hours before you experienced said growth.

TCBY.

What am I talking about? Glad you asked.

The other day I was rollin’ in my ’64. Actually it’s an ’07 but who’s counting. Well except for me. Moving on. So I was rolling down the street smoking indo, sippin’ on gin and juice (none of that is true either). As of late my favorite thing to do is pick a Pandora station and kill the battery on my iPhone. Usually its set to either the Patrice Rushen station or the David Axelrod station. Well this fine day, I decided to roll down my windows and blast some of that good ole ignant music I love so much. So I punched in three letters that are world famous:

N.

W.

A.

One of my favorite albums of all time is EFIL4ZAGGIN. Dr. Dre was at his producerial essence on this album and despite its themes (put a pin in that, we’ll get back to this shortly) its a hip-hop masterpiece of beats, rhymes, and life and is sonic perfection. So anyway, I punch in NWA and Eazy E’s “Boyz N Tha Hood” comes on. Okay. Dopeboy anthems have always been one of my favorites and especially since I’m a West Coast music head, there wasn’t much better.

Then it happened.

“Just Don’t Bite It (She Swallowed It)” came on.

Oh. My. God.

Dude, this has to be at LEAST one of the 5 MOST ignorant songs in hip-hop history. Ever. Hell, so is “Automobile” off the same album. Actually so is “Find ‘em, F*ck ‘em, and Flee” on that same album. You know what, f*ck it, EFIL4ZAGGIN is one of the most ignorant pieces of art ever created and sold in commercial outlets. Like seriously…gotd*amn. As I listened to this song (and I know the words by heart) I almost felt ashamed of myself.

Actually, I did feel ashamed of myself. In that one song is rape, statutory rape, complete and utter disregard for women, rampant and blatant misogyny, etc etc etc. Honestly, I kind of wondered how ANYBODY could make a song like that and then say to themselves, “wow, this sh*t is dope.” Dumbfounded. I’m the blast my music loud type of mofo. I turned my stereo ALL the way down as I listened and thought about what I was listening to. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a father to a daughter now or what, but man…

…WHO DOES THAT???

Randomly: I’m not from the West Coast, but it seems like a common theme in nearly ALL early 90s West Coast hiphop involved running trains on women. Um, what the hell is wrong with ninjas in Cali??? Even Ice Cube, arguably the more sensible one of NWA, and the only one to give any of their music any type of substantive element was full of statutory rape and just outright violent disregard for women. I’m not gonna say that it was a West Coast thing, it has been a hip-hop thing, but the abject clarity spoken on those songs is almost disturbing at times.

And I realize that in the hood, things happen. A lot of women involved are willing participants. But who the hell commits sh*t like that to immortality via master recordings? I suppose the same goes with the violent, murder murder murder stuff too.

Obviously, this was is all very conflicting for me because I’m a hip-hop head to the heart. But some of that sh*t just crossed/crosses the line and I’m really curious as to how ANYBODY could make that music. Like, if I could interview MC Ren right now, I’d say, “Ren take me through your thought process when you wrote the lyrics for “Just Don’t Bite It 2 (She Swallowed It)”. Does any of it strike you as not right?”

I’m trying not to chastise my beloved hip-hop and it’s not like I’m going to stop listening to it, but listening to that song shamed the motherf*ck out of me because I couldn’t believe that I used to love it H.E.R. and also that somebody actually made that…somebody with a mama. Maybe this is what growing up starts to feel like. Maybe I already did seeing as how I haven’t listened to anything N.W.A. related in years at this point, partially for this reason and because I have a daughter that I have to raise to love herself.

But egads man…what a lesson. So I wonder, good folks out there, have you had any similar type of “aha” growth moment? If it involved NWA, you and me? We >< here.

Talk to me.

-VSB P aka PETEY WHEATSTRAW aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • aceklub

    My #oldhead chronicles had a new entry last week. Eating a bowl of cereal, I thought to myself ” why don’t they put toys in cereal anymore.” Then I realized that I no longer eat the type of cereal that qualifies for a toy.

    • annette_b

      This is kinda cute, aceklub, that the thought of toys in cereal even crosses your mind….:-)

      • aceklub

        Thanks. I just remember back in the day, the type of toy determined which cereal box you was asking your parents to buy.

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      My grown moment was having to translate toys to children’s toys, not the grown people toys. My mind is filthy.

      • annette_b

        Not necessarily, AWE. I mean, that could open a whole new market for adult breakfast foods (a bougie breakfast/brunch type meal, complete & pre-cooked for that ‘morning after’), with a nice sticky sweet and a small “trinket”, that may or may not promote further shenanigans…

        • SororSalsa

          I think I might buy that….

  • That Ugly Kid

    “In that one song is rape, statutory rape, complete and utter disregard for women, rampant and blatant misogyny, etc etc etc. Honestly, I kind of wondered how ANYBODY could make a song like that and then say to themselves, ‘wow, this sh*t is dope.'”

    So I take it you don’t listen to Odd Future. Earl Sweatshirt and Tyler The Creator are great lyricists (ESPECIALLY Earl). But most people can’t get over the fact that 90% of their music is mentions rape and murder. Oh well. They’re dope though.

    My grown moment happened in high school. My junior year I made a bet with my homie about who can mess around with the most girls simultaneously. I won with 5. So my senior year I decided to be on my grown man sh*t and stick to one chick and look for “wifey”. My life has sucked ever since. I’m 22, I’m too young to look for a wife. So I think I should regress back to my junior year ways and just have fun. Get my gigalo on, if you will.

    • Latonya

      The thing about Tyler The Creator is that he so disrespectful. I mean why used the “C word” to described a lightskin women.

      • That Ugly Kid

        Hey they’re all disrespectful Tyler is the leader and the most popular so he gets the most shine. But Earl is definitely up there with him. For example:

        “It’s the pick of the litter
        Mobbin’ deep in the woods with six other n*ggers
        Yellin’ at the trees like hey, hi mister
        I’m Life Litter’s official stripe getter
        Dig this, I’ll get a shovel and strike sisters
        And kick them when the handle starts diggin’ in my blisters”

        or…

        “Tell your b*tch to stop complainin’ ’bout her achey t*ts
        Her body is a temple, I don’t give a f*ck, I’m atheist
        Make me stop, make me b*tch, she mad because I taped the sh*t
        And sent the tape to Ace and Taco, helps ‘em f*ckin’ ‘bate to it”

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          “Tell your b*tch to stop complainin’ ’bout her achey t*ts
          Her body is a temple, I don’t give a f*ck, I’m atheist
          Make me stop, make me b*tch, she mad because I taped the sh*t
          And sent the tape to Ace and Taco, helps ‘em f*ckin’ ‘bate to it

          Look on the bright side. At least dude isn’t stuck on one chick singing R&B songs to her about how she’s the only one he could possibly want after seeing her walk down the street. LOL

          • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

            ” At least dude isn’t stuck on one chick singing R&B songs to her about how she’s the only one he could possibly want after seeing her walk down the street. LOL”

            This sounds like the storyline to every song by Bobby Valentino, LMAO!!!

    • DQ

      “So I take it you don’t listen to Odd Future. Earl Sweatshirt and Tyler The Creator are great lyricists (ESPECIALLY Earl).”

      Great lyricists? They do a lot of multiples, and if nothing else you can appreciate the rhyme schemes, but is that all it takes to be considered great now? Shock value for shock value sake with some word play? They sound like Eminem to me with less boundaries and even more sophomoric attitude. There’s no rule that says your music has to be about anything… but generally their music isn’t about anything ever.

      • That Ugly Kid

        You’re downplaying it. They do more than multis, way more. And Earl is a better lyricist than most of the rappers out now. His wordplay is ridiculous.

        • DQ

          I guess we’re hearing 2 different things – I’m not hearing great lyricism? I’m hearing talk about suicidal tendencies. I’m hearing talk about teen age angst. I’m hearing talk about being rebellious and not fitting in. But great lyricism? I’d say based on what?

          I can understand why they appeal to certain folks, there’s always an audience for the rebel and non-conformist, but there’s nothing great about it to me.

          • That Ugly Kid

            You’re talking about subject matter. I’m not. I’m talking about their technical abilities. Metaphors, alliterations, double entendres, personifications, mulit-syllabic rhyme schemes, etc. Subject matter is irrelevent.

            • demondog06

              music speaks to the soul…subject matter is never irrelevant…….

              • That Ugly Kid

                It is when you’re comparing a rapper’s technical abilities and nothing else.

              • Justmetheguy

                ” music speaks to the soul…subject matter is never irrelevant…….”

                Nods head to this. When you’re actually talkin bout something it’s much harder to make those complex rhyme patterns, metaphors, puns, and clever punchlines. That’s why it’s more impressive to me when you can do it while talkin about compelling/relevant subject matter. Otherwise, there may be some talent there, but it’s just silly entertainment for teenagers as far as I’m concerned (I’ve heard so many artists that fall into this category over the last 10-15 years that I just yawn at them now)

                • DQ

                  Agree 100%. Having said that, if you listen to anyone from that Odd Future camp, they do have pretty complex rhyme schemes and you can appreciate that for what it is (and I do) but to me it isn’t great lyricism, it’s great rhyme scheme.

                • kenyadigit

                  +1
                  Thats why I feel like “The Cool” is the best hip-hop track in the last few years. Dope flow, story, beat all a dat. Just all around amazing music.

            • Pheelster

              I have to absolutely agree that earl is one of the dominant lyricist of this day. You also have to keep in mind that he’s only 17 and 15 when he made most of the songs our friend T.U.K. is mentioning. Not only does he have a great rhyming scheme, he can narrate, which is extremely difficult to do, no matter what you’re talking about. He has a skill that takes years of writing. And at a level better than most rappers who are almost more than, half his age. And I love the way him and tyler, who are allegedly brothers, take shots at each other. Kinda like a sibling rivalry, but over a beat with rhymes. A lot of what earl does is in fact no more or less vile than what Eminem does. I can’t wait til he has his growth moments in life, cause he’s gonna be absolutely amazing. Of course as far as west coast rap goes, He’s no Kindrick Lamar. Who is probably at the top of the list as far as skill and content goes, but he’s completely himself, which I cannot say for 90% of rappers out (including Lil Wayne, who went from drug addict gangbanger, to Wannabe Hipster, skate board park rat.)

              My first impression of earl was…

              I’m a hot and bothered astronaut, crashin’ while jackin’ off
              To buffering vids of Asher Roth eating applesauce
              Sent to earth to poke Catholics in the ass with saws
              and knock blunt ashes into their caskets and laugh it off

              Twisted, sicker than mad cattle, infact
              I’m on six different liquors with a prince wig plastered on
              Stop screaming bitch you shouldn’t be that alarmed
              That big lips is in an attic, armed with an addicts arm.

              Earl puts the ass in assassin, puts pieces of decomposing bodies
              in plastic, puts it in a pan then mixes it up with scat,
              then gobbles it like, fat, black bitches and catfish…

              crazy skill but, just YOUNG REBELLIOUS NERD, who likes to skate and got picked on cause he was different. Artists often reflect what’s ugly in the world.

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      pimpin ain’t cute hon. Just continue on that straight and narrow.

      • That Ugly Kid

        Nah I don’t pimp. But, with the majority of my relationships ending poorly ever since I decided to do the relationship thing, I’m just saying that maybe I shouldn’t do relationships right now. I’m young so, unless I get killed, I still got lots of time before I “settle down”.

        My junior year was probably the best year of my life. I was single, but I was still able to have fun with lots of nice, respectable young ladies. And I want to go back to that sooo….yeah…

    • Royale W. Cheese

      “So my senior year I decided to be on my grown man sh*t and stick to one chick and look for “wifey”. My life has sucked ever since.”

      That’s because you are not grown yet. You don’t just decide to be grown, you become grown (eventually…maybe). When you genuinely do not find messing around with a bunch of women fun anymore, and when you really feel the desire to experience all of the good that comes from being with a woman who is also your friend, you will be grown.

      • That Ugly Kid

        Are those really the stipulations though? What if I enjoy messing around with a bunch of women, but still prefers something with much more meaning behind it? That I’m not settling down because the other option is no longer fun (meaning that my monogamy is not really a choice because my other option is no longer available), but I’m settling down because I CHOOSE to. Do I enjoy not being in a committed relationship and using my single status to do as I please? Hell yea! However, I would rather just kick it with one chick who shares the same feelings and friendships and all that other Notebook type mushy sh*t. Never saw that movie by the way. I might hate it…

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          Let me give you an example of a “grown folk” moment when it comes to women from back in my swinger days. I was having a one-on-one with this woman, and she got a bit too enthusiastic nibbling on the peen. She said it was a mistake, and we happily went to our usual humpfest. When we get back around to oral on me again, she does the same ish, but apologizes, claiming she was just having a bit of fun. Whatever.

          Anyway, a dozen or so position changes and multiple orgasms by all again, she does the same damn thing on my peen. When I confront her again, she was like “well, I thought you liked (name of her friend) more than me, and I wanted to let you know how I felt.” Long story short, we get into an argument, and I found out this “wild” woman in an open marriage had messed around and caught feelings, jealous that I hadn’t gotten the hint and thinking that I wanted her friend more. After we settled it, and I was about to storm out the door, her husband showed up in the bedroom door, and it was clear that he heard a decent chunk of the argument. (Now, before you get all scared, dude was actually cool with me, and wondered what had me ticked.)

          After that, I realized that this playing the field stuff is meant for outfields in baseball, not me. I wouldn’t say I immediately left, but that’s when I seriously started thinking about just getting the heck out of the game and trying the whole relationship thing again.

          • http://twitter.com/tylerg_thomas tgtaggie

            That’s probably one of the funniest stories I have ever read on this site. lol.

            “After that, I realized that this playing the field stuff is meant for outfields in baseball, not me. I wouldn’t say I immediately left, but that’s when I seriously started thinking about just getting the heck out of the game and trying the whole relationship thing again.”

            +1. After a bad experience in high school, I discovered that I didn’t posses the skills necessary to play the game as it is being played today.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            Hilarious & deep

            The thought of you naked with an erection arguing with this woman….

        • Medium Meech

          Kind of with the That Ugly Kid in that choosing to be in serious relationships (for men) is a “grown up” thing to do on its own merits like society says. At my most immature I was always looking to be in a relationship without thinking about why.

          At the same time, delaying immediate gratification for long term satisfaction is one of the most important parts of being an adult. I guess it just depends on your reasons.

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        +1

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I’m very aware of Odd Future. Would I say that I listen to them much? No. Earl is probably the one with the most lyrical talent, followed very closely by Tyler (the rest are a significant drop off at numbers 3 thru infinity). But no, I largely aren’t listening to them b/c I don’t find them that entertaining. I do think there is sincere artistic merit in a lot of their output, it just ain’t for me.

      So they’re dope in the way to me that say, Atmosphere is dope. I’m glad it exists but I couldn’t really care less to ever listen for more than 3 mintues at a time.

  • aceklub

    seeing that I may have been first has just produced another #oldhead moment. Being first to post a comment…not for the joy of being first but b/c I can’t ignore sleep like I used to.

  • Jay

    My grown moment happened in high school.

    This statement is oxymoronic sir.

    • nillalatte

      Thank you Jay, ’cause I was like, daymn, I’m way older than most of you and I still don’t think I’ve had a grown folks moment. ;)

    • That Ugly Kid

      I disagree. Having a grown moment =/= being mature. You can have plenty of grown moments in high school and come to plenty epiphanies about life, decisions, and the likes…

      • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

        …What Royale W. Cheese said.

    • Kema

      I think I had a grown moment reading about Tug’s high school grown moment. lol! I’m getting old! When I think of H.S. I now think ‘when I was a kid’.

    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      “My grown moment happened in high school.

      This statement is oxymoronic sir.”

      Not for the “old soul” mofos such as myself. Hell, when I was IN high school, I used to shake my head (yes the grandma shaking of the head) at my own PEERS when they acted fools on the bus. I remember actually uttering, “high schoolers are so obnoxious” and I was about 15 my dayum self. LOL

      And yet, I’m a kid at heart. Conundrums, thy name is humanity. lol

  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

    I have grown aha moments, every couple of hours.

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

    I used to watch Oprah back in the day until I realized that she was being a Mammy for White America. Her job was to comfort middle-aged White women. And what made it even worse was that she would sometimes do it by presenting Black folks as stereotypes as a way of saying, ‘yes Black people are exactly who you think they are so you can relax, you’re not a racist’. Her show was kind of like if the film The Help came on everyday at 4pm.

    Hopefully I won’t get a too much of a cyber-beat down from Oprah stans but that was (one) of my moments of clarity.

    • Justmetheguy

      ^ :O Shots fired. Bombs away. F*ck yo career n*gga lol. I mean that’s cool and all, but why don’t you tell us how you REALLY feel Val? lol

      • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

        *waving @ jmtg*

        wassssssssuppp fam!

        • Justmetheguy

          Wassup Mami! How you livin over there? What’s new?

          • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

            nuffin much!!!!! just loving Jesus, my hair and my new avi!!!! You? How was grad?! Did he unleash those thangs?!!!!!!!

            • Justmetheguy

              Hahaha! I noticed the new pic. Not sure who it is tho. I’m still wondering why you never answered he who I’m sure you don’t want me to name’s question. I was also curious as to whether that was you on your last avi pic. Lil bro’s graduation will be on the 21st. So he hasn’t had the chance to unleash them yet. I’ll send u a pic if he does lol

              • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                @ jmtg,

                I don’t know who this avi dude is either, Meech down thread knows him, ask him. All I know is that the brother is FOIIIINE and he got DREADS!!!! Oh mi gosh,I’m sending e-hugs to my husband, that I’ve never met. Pass on my regards! (I’m VERY serious, ain’t bsing on dis one!!!) Tell him, I’d love for us to hook up—–>and get to know each other on a more personal level. I really don’t care,if I come across as thirsty, starved and suffering from the same ailments as those kids in Somalia.

                It would be in my best interests to not touch the other part of your comment. :(

              • Medium Meech

                That’s John Forte, best known for rapping/producing with the fugees, being an educated brother with positive lyrics, and moving massive amounts of cocaine.

                • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                  Thanks! I didn’t know, I don’t endorse his pushing hustle, but I do endorse his locks double M! :)

                • Justmetheguy

                  Wow…The more you know and sh*t. Random sequence of events lol

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        I know, kind of harsh, right. But before I realized who Oprah really was I admired her and was impressed by her success and wealth. So it really was a ‘grown-up’ moment for me not to just take her at face value but to analyze why she was so successful.

        • GypsyCurl

          @Val: I have to disagree with you and the troop of Oprah hating Black folks. What do you expect this woman to do? Hand out money to unappreciative people? Her shows have had such a diverse range if topics. She is human and she has admitted to her mistakes. Like with the rap thing. She has had rappers on her show. She has shared her F-up childhood. She is HUMAN.

          I ADMIRE OPRAH #allcaps

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            What does handing out money have to do with what I said?

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      hey girlie!!! gonna stop by, order us some chinese.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        *Waves* Hi AM! Okay, bring some wine. :-)

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          You got it! and cucumbers!

          • Medium Meech

            Wait, what???

            • MJoy

              LOL. Girls like to put cucumbers on their eyes and eat cucumber sandwiches when they get together… ;)

            • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

              u ain’t know about kookambas?! Meet Val and I @ her house, and we gon teach you a thang or two, double M.

              • Medium Meech

                Um, surrre… but let me handle the teaching. I’ve been working heavy with my own home grown produce for a while.

                • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                  Oh word?! You into home agriculture. I digs that!!! :)

    • Latonya

      I’ll agree, Oprah never had a show about anything dealing with the black community.

    • That Ugly Kid

      I dislike Oprah. I know I’m supposed to because I’m in Chicago. But I really dislike Oprah. I remember Luda saying something along the lines of she doesn’t interview rappers or whatever. Basically pre-judging them based off of their music. I hate that. Music is just one side to them. David Banner is really smart. As well as Lil Wayne, who was an A student in both elementary school as well as college. Hell, there’s more to entertainers in general that meets the eyes. Shaq just recently earned his Doctorate’s degree, maintaining a 3.8 GPA. But everyone thought he was slow because of his speech.

      Just saying, don’t accept everything at face value.

      • Marion

        Yeah, like how people tend to overlook that Mr. Bust-It-Baby bka Plies has a Nursing Degree. I just had to say it b/c people are in utter disbelief that the same guy who created this song was the same guy who is a RN major http://youtu.be/D2J-Wo63ELA

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          Based on how he acts in his videos, I think hip-hop music was the move for him. Imagine that dude trying to take care of your child on a hospital floor. I’d be afraid of him doing some FOOLISHNESS.

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        Um, I’m not sure about Shaq. Being that I had to hang around him for a few hours during a summer job and actually talk a bunch to the guy, I wouldn’t say he’s dumb, but he isn’t a Rhode Scholar either. He’s more like on the low end of average in terms of intelligence.

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      if White people vanished off the face of the earth & she was still here, Oprah would have a nervous breakdown.

      And I actually like Oprah, 60% of the time.

      • nillalatte

        You know, I had to give props to Oprah when she went to GA and interviewed a bunch of damn racists. I was offended and probably would have slapped a few of those idiots, but Oprah kept her game face on and kept the discussion going.

      • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

        @ AWE,

        girrrrrrrrl she already is in the throes of one! her dearly beloved, are not boosting her ratings as Nielsen would like em. Oh well.

        I’m proud of her as a black woman having achieved all that success, but she is too full of herself, despite the fact she helped ma pipoz down under in South Africa.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        “if White people vanished off the face of the earth & she was still here, Oprah would have a nervous breakdown.”

        I totally agree. They’d have to give her some serious meds for her to survive that.

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      Oprah, is a great ACTRESS! All them croc tears she be shedding on stage, shoo, they could have me swimming back to the motherland.

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        I don’t think she cries very often. I can recall her saying she hated crying on screen.

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          Girrrrrrrrl, I’ve seen this woman crying so many damn times, to a point I got tired with her foolishness!

        • MJoy

          she used to always cry! And when singers would come on and perform she would act like the song was moving her to tears then she’d get caught trying to sing along but didn’t know the damn words…. smh.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/Think2Inspire Think2Inspire

      Oprah used to have shows of substance and whatnot. One day she had a show on sandwiches and I realized she wasn’t sh*t. A whole hour dedicated to meat and bread. The audience was cheering her on as she ate. I felt disgusted because there was so much going on in the world and she chose to focus on sandwiches. It seemed gluttonous to me.

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        Ya girl has been on TV for how many decades? Every show can’t be a hit, LOL

      • Kema

        Sandwiches are very important. You cant just put any ole meat in em. They have to be constructed with great care.

      • Justmetheguy

        ” One day she had a show on sandwiches and I realized she wasn’t sh*t.”

        BWAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA! D*mn! The fact that you said “I realized she wasn’t sh*t” really tickled me for some reason. I can imagine her doing this though. You can’t be deep everyday though #shruglife

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          And I saw that episode! She had Gayle all over America eating big ass sandwiches, talking about how good they were and rating them on the show stage. Come on! As if Americans are going to travel through America just for a sandwich.

          • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

            Diners, Drive-ins and Dives

            • MJoy

              I’ve considered a road trip to Maine for a Lobster Roll because of this damn show

    • Mena

      Please fall back on the Oprah comments. I never saw her as a mammy type figure and in fact, that comment alone is beyond me.

      Her show was for women of all races, not just black women. She made a show centered around topics that helped women who were home during the time that her show came on (house wives). So of course she catered to their interest. She has brought awareness to child abuse and domestic violence. Sure, many of her shows were superficial but there were also many that had substance. I can only imagine the amount of young girls she has helped in the US and around the world. We don’t know what she has done behind the scenes, or who she has given money to for them to get started in their careers. I mean for goodness sake she endorsed Barrack Obama BEFORE he even said that he was going to run for the presidency. You don’t think she helped him on his campaign? This man had the attention and support of a woman that has millions of followers and billions of dollars. She helped him receive the nomination. Come on now. Dont discredit where credit is due. Say what you want but when Oprah speaks, people listen and they listen well.

      You have every right to your opinion but calling her a mammy…the same women that built a billion dollar industry off of her personality alone…is an extreme low blow. IMO.

      • Aly

        Thank you so much for this comment Mena, I agree. I am by no means a huge Oprah fan, but I’m really surprised at the level of animosity toward her.

        • Mena

          When people criticize the Oprah’s and Obama’s of the world for not helping out enough in the “community” I always ask “what have you done lately?” I know that i haven’t done much and i know that Oprah and the Obama’s have done a ton more than i ever will be able to do in my life time. The Uncle Tom and Mammy comments need to stop. They completely rub me the wrong way.

          • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

            “When people criticize the Oprah’s and Obama’s of the world for not helping out enough in the “community” I always ask “what have you done lately?” ”

            Yeah… and I always say that people who get to that level of stature… whatever they do… even if they bring total world peace… it’ll never be enough. Nothing they do is ever enough. Folks are always gonna want more.

            • Mena

              You’re correct. We tend to forget that they are just people. Not God. But someone who has worked their behinds off, had some luck, and used opportunities where they saw it.

              I’m not even an Oprah Stan but i felt the need to defend her. I actually admire the woman. She came from literally nothing, went through a great deal as a kid, and now look at her.

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              The people who help out in the community who give back also and who have watched almost every episode of Oprah like me has EVERY right to criticize her.

              She is not immune from criticism from the people who share the same give-back philosophy she has.

              When you love someone you have the right to criticize them.

              To suggest what you do to her critics is naive & self-righteous.

              • Mena

                Criticizing is one thing. Attacking is a completely different story. My comment was geared towards the mammy angle. That’s an outright attack simply b/c she “caters” more to her white audience (which, again, since she had a talk show on in the day time, her show centered around house moms and wives). Nothing naive about that.

                Criticize the work, not the person.

                • MJoy

                  +1 +1 +1 +1 +1

                  I could write a whole book on people who criticize the Oprahs/Obamas/Cosbys of the world… but it won’t be done today.

              • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

                “She is not immune from criticism from the people who share the same give-back philosophy she has.”

                For the record, my point with the whole “it’s never enough” thing isn’t that anyone should be immune from criticism… or even that this aspect is “wrong”… per se. I just noted that it happens. Because it does. Once you get THAT big… no matter how much you do, it is never enough. It’s just an interesting concept in general to me. And it can’t be easy to deal with that much… power, so to speak seeing as you’re still just as human as the people who have power over.

          • demondog06

            “When people criticize the Oprah’s and Obama’s of the world for not helping out enough in the “community” I always ask “what have you done lately?”

            sorry ma but you’ve just sparked this weeks “rant alert”

            the key difference is that they have money, power and influence. which in these days and times gives you more voice than any rabble rousing or futile community activisim us common folk can/have done.
            Oprah is the most powerful black woman in this country, she told white women to vote for obama and they did, hell they elected him!

            granted a sitting president is only as effective as his congress, ( which is our fault for being so caught up with the real 16 and pregnant hip hop basketball housewives of atlanta, that we let the tea bag party infiltrate and co-opt or gov.) but most of his policies has been cosmetic and meant to garner votes from women, Latinos and swing voters. i think he’ll be far more effective 1nce he’s outta office, only time will tell.

            i like Obama and even Oprah, but imagine if oprah stopped catering to (middle class) white women (her primary audience), or obama said to hell with being re-elected! just think of the implications for the poor and powerless of this nation! they suffer what many of the so called ‘talented tenth” suffer from and that is comfortable negro syndrome. dem naacp nigglits, fortune 500 wallstreet nigglits hell even many nigglits in my frat is guilty of it too, raising millions of dollars to build statues and throw award shows, doing photo ops and patting each other on the backs while our schools and communities crumble devolve into war zones.

            but hey, at least “they” made it………………..

            • Mena

              I think your first term as president, when you have a congress that is against you, is to try your hardest to do as much as possible under the radar so to speak. You need to get re-elected and if you do anything too drastic (Obamacare) people will come for blood. I think that Obama has played a beautiful hand with what he was dealt with. To say the heck with being re-elected isn’t sensible if you want to be re-elected for a second term when you can go guns blazing b/c you don’t have to worry about a re-election. I also think that he will do a lot after his second term. He won’t have to worry about campaigns as much and will be able to focus on more community projects.

              • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

                “I think your first term as president, when you have a congress that is against you, is to try your hardest to do as much as possible under the radar so to speak.”

                Right. Obama is thinking long-term. Why create something that’ll only be appealed/destroyed a few minutes later? And should he NOT win the second term, every single thing he has done will be undone. Best believe.

      • Innovative21

        Interestingly enough, these are the same exact reasons I forbid myself to completely hate on Beyonce…And trust I REALLY REALLY want to hate on Beyonce

        (PS: I admire Oprah for doing what she loves in her life, for her, answer’s to very few just to be courteous. Haven’t always agreed with her, but to me obtaining the ability to do that in your life is absolute TRUE Prosperity & Success)

        • Mena

          My only comments on Beyonce: she can SANG, she is a wonderful performer, she has only put out one song that i can’t get down to, she will be around for a while so people need to take a seat.

      • http://twitter.com/tylerg_thomas tgtaggie

        I watched one of her “lifeclass” shows the other night, and I was impressed with how she explained taking advantage of all the opportunities that was presented to her.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          I love watching Oprah’s Lifeclasses too and I love Sweetie Pies.

      • JessicaL

        I’m with you on everything you said, Mena. However she still endorses Tyler Perry. I’m at a loss for that one.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      So when are you gonna reload on Oprah? LOL Seriously though, I think it ran a bit deeper, in that she humored the intellectual pretensions of a lot of middle-aged women. That said, the mammy stuff was a thread in the tapestry.

    • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

      When I told her that same thing she never spoke to me again.

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      I thought I was the only one to say that about Oprah Winfrey. At least I know I’m not alone in that. I’m just surprised that White women will take dating and relationship advice from her- while not seeing the irony in it.

      • Aly

        Can you please explain what you mean by this? Is it because she’s never been married?

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          Oprah is a Black woman in a long term relationship with a Black man. That is not the same as White women dating White men who want to get married.

          What drives me crazy about Oprah is this. I love being un-married. I’m happily divorced. Why does her O magazine have thousands of articles about relationships, marriage and very little about being single and negotiating dating and sex?

          O magazine is very marriage-centric, yet Oprah ain’t married.

          Oprah publishes tons of advice on losing weight in her magazines — yet she fails at avoiding obesity — and its obvious to all of us that there is a deep personal issue she is avoiding healing from, which is why she is heading towards obesity yet again.

          So I read her magazines with a grain of salt, and I watch the OWN network very very very selectively.

          • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

            You pretty much said everything I wanted to say about this subject…

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              Need I continue??

              Her white supremacist angle of the cosmetics suggestions and hair care and style suggestions of O magazine. (Most are aimed at White women. If she addresses Black hair it’s from a very very limited perspective–which is sad because our own hair that grows from our head is very versatile)

          • Mena

            “O magazine is very marriage-centric, yet Oprah ain’t married.

            Oprah publishes tons of advice on losing weight in her magazines — yet she fails at avoiding obesity — and its obvious to all of us that there is a deep personal issue she is avoiding healing from, which is why she is heading towards obesity yet again.”

            Her audience is very family and marriage centric so why shouldn’t her magazine be? When you were obese once, you will always struggle with your weight. Bottom line is that i would rather seek advice from Oprah on weight issues than anyone else b/c she has been there, done that, and been back again.

            You are asking for perfection when Oprah gives nothing but herself and doesn’t apologize for doing so.

            • Breezy

              Look ammma need ya’ll to back off a Oprah! Let me remind ya’ll in the words of Sophia “All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my uncles. I had to fight my brothers. A girl child ain’t safe in a family of men, but I ain’t never thought I’d have to fight in my own house!

              Leave her alone!!!

              • Mena

                Mmmmhmmmm….bout to start a revolt at VSB :-)

              • A Woman’s Eyes

                No! She is not a god. She is not immune to criticism just as you and I.

                • Breezy

                  She sure ain’t a god. I got love for Oprah tho…I would love her more if she would buy me a house and a car like she usually do for all those 2520’s on her show.

                  • A Woman’s Eyes

                    LMAO If she bought me a house and a car, I would name my next child Oprah. Ok?

                    • Breezy

                      Gail gonna kilt all of ya’ll ninjas for having designs on her bottom b.

                      @Mami: Hi Sweetheart!

                • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                  MARRY ME!!!!!!!

                  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                    the marry me was directed @ AWE!!!!!!!!

                    Hey Breeezy babes!!!! *waving*

                    • A Woman’s Eyes

                      Sure! We’d be the first heterosexual legally married women in my state!

                  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                    that is A-OKAY!!! You are purring a spirited Oprah fight!!! I LOVEEEEEE it!!!!!!!! go awe, go awe, go awe!!!!!

                    Oprah adopt me!!

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              You are the one who imagined that I asked for perfection out of Oprah.

              O magazine is White woman-centric. It rarely addresses issues that impact Black women such as dealing with racism in the workplace, in healthcare, our high rates of infant mortality (upper middle class Black women are included in this stat), the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the Black community that SPANS socio-economic class.

              • Mena

                Do me the biggest favor and google Oprah and AIDS?

                • A Woman’s Eyes

                  I don’t have to google Oprah to know she didn’t address that issue often in O magazine.

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        Orpah doesn’t really give advice- or at least she didn’t used to. She always has experts on her show and pretty much parrots them. Over the years I think she’s gained some insight from the tons of people she’s had on the show- she quotes more than anything.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      Ya, I’m an Oprah stan. My mom used to watch Oprah almost everyday so I unofficially watched Oprah damn near everyday (recorded on the VHS no less!)

      She catered to her audience and her sponsors- that’s what people who stay on TV do. She’s a business woman. She’s a philanthropist. As far as her playing the mammy card- I can understand that POV: Let this round-faced dark woman get on TV and talk about our problems. But Oprah didn’t create the “mammy” archetype and if it was her master plan, I applaud her for beasting it.

      • Mena

        That’s the problem that I have with the mammy line. The stereotype is of a dark skin ugly non sexualized woman who was stupid yet smart enough to raises Massa’s children. Man that irks me to no end.

        Oprah is a beast who has done more in her lifetime than most of us would do with 5.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          ” That’s the problem that I have with the mammy line. The stereotype is of a dark skin ugly non sexualized woman who was stupid yet smart enough to raises Massa’s children. ”

          Yet Mammy is a survivor. Mammy knows all the White people’s secrets. She knows if she cooks it up perfectly, and serves it to the White people, and if she feeds that hungry White baby (the Oprah Show demographic who by the way left Oprah when they didnt like OWN and wanted the Oprah Show to continue to feed their unfullfilled bottomless pit of hunger–no wonder Oprah is so fat, she has to fatten herself up to feed her White audiences, sacrificing sleep time, eating to cope with the stress of helping these unfullfilled White people) she will hopefully be fed by them too & finally feel content within her Oprah-ness.

          Mammy knew what side her bread was buttered on. Did Mammy even have kids, a husband, a family, time to sleep, time to relax and enjoy her food without worrying about the White people?

          Mammy is a fair analogy to use. Don’t disrespect Mammy for being a survivor. You can’t defend Oprah and put down Mammy. If it wasn’t for Mammy, Oprah wouldn’t get to be Oprah Winfrey. She became Oprah after being told by her grandmother to learn how to wash clothes for the White people.

          Oprah invested in herself & in people in America and South Africa. And she caters to the White people. The end.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            Free my comment PLEASE. Thanks.

          • Mena

            We’ll respectfully agree to disagree.

    • demondog06

      ” Her show was kind of like if the film The Help came on everyday at 4pm.”
      +100,000

      she’s also real quick to throw black men under the bus. especially rappers and entertainers.

      • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

        If I was in her position to be quite honest, I would throw all dem MISOGYNISTIC IDJOTS under the bus, and disown them!!! Not to generalize, but the bulk of rappers, are constantly disrespecting my essence and existence, give me one good reason why I would even want to claim them as human?! uh uh!

      • SweetSass

        Under a bus? I’d like to throw them off a cliff. Sexist rappers are not high caliber people hence do not deserve to be interviewed seriously.

  • streetzpoet

    I feel where youre coming from…the other day i was listening to “Creepin On Ah Come Up” and the song “No Surrender” came on…there’s a line in that song goes “and im coming to the funeral to shoot that b*tch up/cuz i know thats where yall b*tches is bout to meet up…” All i could think was “*sigh…is all that even necessary…?” And i guess im a hypocrite because i cant stand a lot of the newer mainstream rap artists but my favorite artists were doing the same/similar things 15 years ago…

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      “All i could think was ‘*sigh…is all that even necessary…?'”

      BOL! I mentioned by disdain for a Wacka Flocka song below but I cleaned out my close and found a Big Tymers cassette tape…actually two.

  • MJoy

    This post makes me think of porn. You watch it, you love it, you come, then your viewing shifts from absolute pleasure to downright disgust. Two minutes ago it was the best thing in the world but now that the deed is done you can’t help but think, “these people are disgusting! I can’t believe people actually agree to do this! Dude, that’s somebody’s daughter!!!” you grow in the moment. Then u regress yo azz right back the next time it’s time to watch.

    • Justmetheguy

      ^ This is why I adore her so much. She’s heaven sent and she gets me without even trying :)

      Seriously though, I can totally relate. It’s awesome then it’s depressing all within a few moments lol

      • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

        awwwww!!!! look @ ya’ll!!!! shoooooo kiiiiiiyuuuute!

        • Kema

          Humph!

          • Justmetheguy

            Hi Kema, long time no hear from. :)

      • MJoy

        *muah* *muah* *muah* *muah*

    • Meisarebel

      You just won. At life.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

      I totally dig your realness.

  • Jay

    I’m totally at peace with my “old head” moments because they usually come when I’m seeing through some bullsh*t that I used to fall for or just acquiring more game, and I don’t mean primarily with women. I mean game in the sense of understanding more so how the world actually works.

  • http://www.hesaidthenshesaid.com MObetta

    So, because I like to be informed, I went and listened to this song.

    That was my bad…

    To answer the posed question. Once when I was babysitting my 3 yr old nephew. For some reason, I thought we could eat the same diet of sugar, sugar and more sugar. He was perfectly fine bouncing off the walls, I, however, was left puking over the toilet.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      LOL. I realized things where changing when I felt gone after 1 drink- 1. In my hay-day I could drink at least a half of one of those big bottles.