Guest Blogger, Pop Culture, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

Is Social Networking Making Us Socially Awkward?

***Yup. S. Nicole Brown is here again.***

I noticed it one day while walking from class.

Making my way across the  common area of campus on a beautiful sunny day, the sounds of the latest Top Forty blaring from a speaker behind a DJ booth asking people to sign up to volunteer for the next “save the world” project, I looked up from my phone, and looked around.

What I saw, kind of jolted me. Every single person that passed in this very busy area of campus, was looking down at their phone. I realized I had walked halfway across campus without one lifting my head up away from my phone, and noticed everyone doing the same. Watching people swarm around me in a rush to get home or to another class, I realized we had all so mastered the art of texting/tweeting/status-liking while doing other things, that we were on a sort of real time auto-pilot while our virtual lives kept our attention.

So of course, I took to twitter to state publicly my observation, and continued to walk with my head down, and on my phone.

From that day on I noticed more and more the absence of eye contact or basic human interaction when walking into stores, restaurants, on campus, at home. Everyone was seemingly more interested in tweeting and status updating about what they were doing, rather than enjoying the actual experience of what they were doing.

Still, I thought it was odd, but didn’t really realize just how dependent my generation and younger folks had become on social media interaction until I began meeting e-friends and associates in real life. Meeting someone in real life whom you only know online and believe to be super dope, is so exciting. You think about all the fun you’ll have when you finally meet, all the jokes you they’ve said that you’ll laugh at even harder in person.

And then you meet, and your entire image of them is shattered. They are quiet. Or uncomfortable, which makes you uncomfortable. Painfully shy, creepy, or just plain rude. You almost want to send them a direct message and ask if everything is okay with them, since they seem to have had the personality drained from them and you like their virtual one much better. A friend of mine went to a blogger meet up once, and described the behavior of several people as “lurking in real life.”

It’s a weird realization to come to that the very medium meant to foster social communication and connections, could be stunting us socially. More and more people seem far more comfortable to “poke” you or RT you than to call, or say hello to you on the street. People get keyboard courage and fire off statements that they wouldn’t dare say to those very same people away from their screen.

And as awkward as it is for me as a thirty year-old person to get over this, it’s so much worse for the teens and early twenty-somethings, who don’t know a social world beyond high school without smart phones and facebook and twitter. Those people that literally say “LOL” when they see something funny (my younger sister did this for an entire year until i threatened to end her life if she didn’t learn to laugh like a normal human), or think exchanging subtweets and nasty statuses is a way to solve an argument– while sitting in the same house (also witnessed this happen. With grown people no less). I feel so afraid for the youngins. So nervous that they will not know what it is to walk up to someone and say “hello,” or how to be somewhere longer than ten minutes without checking in on various social networks.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of social networking. I’ve met a good number of close friends from just being interactive online (including P to the Jay and Champness). But there needs to be balance. Social media makes it possible to spend an entire day talking without uttering one word. This to me, is scary. Nothing can replace the importance of being able to read body language, of knowing proper ways to interact in different social settings, having self-awareness, and the joy “friending” a stranger can bring through a surprisingly painless face-to-face conversation.

S. Nicole Brown (aka “Muze”) is a writer of fiction, lover of words, and chronic reader happily living the clichéd under-spaced and overpriced life of a NYC writer. You can find her in 140 or less @muzeness or on her blog, Because I’m Write.

***Check out “Yes, Monogamy IS Unnatural (…and so is everything else we do)” — The Champ’s latest at Ebony.com***

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://yourchildsmother.blogspot.com/ KMN

    I agree…children today have no social skills and those of us who once had them are now losing the skills we once had. It’s pretty sad that we are basically turning into a bunch of droids…Skynet zombies (skynet is my phrase that pays this week for some reason lol). It’s really sad that so many of our kids won’t be able to enjoy sitting on the porch talking smack with our best friends or playing a game of football that doesn’t include ABxxEBA or what ever the daggone buttons on video remote controls are. That’s why I’m scared to get my Mini Me a phone (and she’s only 4…and seeing 6 and 7 year olds with smart phones? Dahell?) but thankfully she’s very social and socially aware of herself and her surroundings. I hope she doesn’t become a slave to social media and electronics…

    KMN

    • http://yourchildsmother.blogspot.com/ KMN

      And I want to add this…I blame teachers and parents for a lot of this…equally. When I used to teach, I’d have students work in collective groups and would grade them based on their work AS a group: how they interacted, problem solved, collective critical thinking, etc. And it was like pulling teeth from a hungry lion: aka impossible. They’d rather take the U than do the work and work with others that they either didn’t like or the “I work better by myself” nonsense. I work better by myself too but I have enough sense and social self awareness to work with others. And my parents let me know that there are gonna be people that you don’t and won’t like in life but sometimes you have to and you should at least know how to in order to make it thru and move on to the next phase or whatever in your life. The parents of the students I taught never made them do it…let them get those Us and I was willing to give them. Because i REFUSED to give out sympathy grades lol…damn social promotion.

      YQ

      • http://twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

        Kids today have not an ounce of common sense. Most of the people I interact with are teachers; some of the things they say make me sad. My home girl taught high school and the students couldn’t think for themselves. Once she gave a student the key to the classroom because she’d be late and they sat in the dark hot classroom for 5 minutes, because no one thought to turn the light or AC on. I make mandatory group work because I’m evil and they have little work ethic. They start picking up the weak links once they realize that it’s a group grade and not give the work to the smartest student. As teachers we can only do so much, the parents let the interweb rob their souls and minds.

      • chameleonic

        lol. sounds like me. i really dont find the need in dealing with people i dont like and i actually DO work better alone. if im working with others its a position of leadership (varying styles of it but always the leadership role). if you put me in a scenario like AVP im all good cuz im with the best of the best. you put me with a bunch of clumsy ppl who dont know what theyre doing, believe they do, and arent willing to learn or listen….i opt for doing my own thing. you put me with people who know nothing and dont necessarily know what to do but are willing to learn and do the work? we ALL prosper. im sure when you match people well theyre willing to DO well together.

        • Sidney

          Sorry, but that line of thinking already shows that you are not able to work with others. Why? When you find yourself the “lowest” and not “able to comprehend” the things going on around you, you can’t be the leader now can you? But of course, unless it is to lead others into anarchy. The article is actually speaking about everyone up and down the scale. As the old folks used to say, a big/hard head make for a soft behind each time. Being too smart for your britches does not suit you.

      • http://www.twitter.com/darrylcobb darrylcobb

        I’m one of those “work better by myself” students. I never enjoyed working in groups because, for my experience, I learned less in that dynamic. We can’t blame social networking for people who prefer that. What I would say we can blame is the inability to focus for any length of time.

    • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

      I really don’t get little kids having phones, especially smart phones. I think anyone under 12 is too young for a phone. And, I wouldn’t get anyone under 16 a smart phone.

      • Beautifullyhuman

        Hell, I didn’t own my first cell phone until my senior year of high school. I remember when someone was considered “rich” if they owned a cell a la “Clueless” days. Or a doctor or D boy. All I know is wasn’t no damn 4 year old carrying iPhone 5s or whatever was trendy at the time when I was in HS.

        • http://www.twitter.com/black_yoda Black Yoda

          I’ll do you one better. I didn’t have a cell phone until after I graduated college. Of course, I might be a little older. :-) Today I’m seeing kids just out of pampers with phones. I realize some parents want a LoJack for their kids, but enough already. When I was a kid, the rule was simple. “Be where my parents told me to be.” A phone would only be useful if I didn’t follow that rule…to call for help against them :-)

          • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 Fiveisthenumber

            I didn’t get my first pager until I graduated high school!

          • predoctabird

            One huge difference between now and then was that there were such things as pay phones then, so in the off-chance you were where you weren’t supposed to be, a quarter could save you. I can’t remember the last time I saw a functioning pay phone, wouldn’t know how much change to even put in it anymore (that is, if I even have any change on me), and people aren’t so willing to let a stranger ‘borrow their phone’ for a quick phone call.

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        I would agree, but leave exceptions for those specially modified phones than can call only the parents, a few other relatives and 911. I’d rather have my daughter call me from a few blocks away if she needs me then having to track her down. Still, I see your point. Heck, my 9 year old niece has a smartphone. LOL

      • Aly

        There was a commercial on TV where you can put a smartphone inside of a doll to make it interactive. WTF?

      • nillalatte

        All my kids have phones and have had them for a while. My oldest daughter had one at the age of 12. My other two probably had them when they were much younger. We used to be on a limited plan, but now we have unlimited everything, and we’re spread over 3 cities.

        The reason I gave them phones is easy – their father. He was/is a nut case. They could call me or the police if they needed to. I donate my old cell phones to domestic violence shelters. They program them them for 911 and give them to battered women.

        Yes, some folks don’t need to give their very young children cell phones. But, sometimes they are needed.

    • Kema

      I understand exactly what you mean. My son sent me a facebook invite a few weeks ago. I felt like he was about to be absorbed into the matrix.

      I remember being a kid and having to go inside before the street lights came on. Now in order to get my kids to play I have to tell them don’t come in until the street lights come on. lol!

      • chameleonic

        my neices, nephews, and little cousins are oddly open minded and outdoorsy. we used to go to the track together, play at the parks, they even took me on an impromptu hike where we discovered a cliff. we all sat and brainstormed about how to build a canoe to get to it and how it could safely be climbed. they even taught me about a flower with honey dew in it and how to eat it. its pretty cool. maybe summer camp would be like that for your children?

  • Seaba

    “people get keyboard courage…” I agree! So often people portray personalities through the social media, that are nothing like who they truly are in person smh

    • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 Fiveisthenumber

      The art of a real conversation is lost. People will say any and everything behind the keyboard, but are “so shy” or “not confrontational” in reality. If you have the slightest bit of verbal communication, coupled with the ability to engage in banter, the world is yours.

      *your Dr. Evil laugh goes here*

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Well, I guess I had keyboard courage before people rolled on keyboards like that. Then again, I have a history of getting in people’s face. And by people, I mean teachers, university presidents, US senators, cops…but I guess that’s just me that likes to speak truth to power.

      • chameleonic

        me too!!! man. im so used to public speaking when i hold a normal conversation my voice is loud and projecting. years of high powered obstacles on my quest of world domination. im not a keyboard thug per se but i think im as intense online as i am forward offline.

    • Rewind

      keyboard courage = a really huge poooosay when no one else is around.

      I talk a lot of shyte online but I back it up in person. It’s a crime to just let your alter ego loose online, acting like there are no consequences but EXPECTING people to respect you when you have no backbone to show that same aggression when in person.

      • chameleonic

        if youre as smooth as you are online i will always operate on chillmode. ‘man i WAS gonna flip out but man did he just drop that wisdom….*mellows out*’

        • Rewind

          lmaooooooooo girl you crazy.

          I am me all day, every day, doesn’t matter where I’m at. But I am naturally shy. It does take me a moment to get comfortable around people. I treat my personality like a reward…you will only get to enjoy it if you earn it.

    • Preacha

      I totally agree with this! I rarely comment online on the few blogs I frequent… but I am outgoing in real life. However, I have met people (especially women) who can’t carry a decent convo in person but were genius conversationalists online. #RiddleMeThisBatman

  • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

    Reading this at a bar, on a smart phone, with actual people around me = Irony.

    • http://www.altherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

      Lol, now u got a convo starter for when u see a cute chick tho Jay.

      • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 Fiveisthenumber

        +5

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      ROTLFMAO

    • nillalatte

      That’s that need to be around people, but really not engaged. :)

    • http://www.becauseimwrite.net Muze

      LOL!

    • Rewind

      Blame it on the Goose/got you feeling loose/Blame it on the PaTron/neglecting the vagina zone/blame it on the vodka/blame it on the Henny/blame it on the keyboard/making the font dizzy/Blame it on the alc-alc-alc-alcohol

  • http://www.altherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

    Yeah…this post was right on time. I said earlier that I’m gonna take 2 straight days off of social networking sites and actually go talk to strangers in person to see if I still got it. Technology’s made us lazy and socially sloppy at best, flat out awkward and/or shy at worst. Fight the machine! You don’t have to be a zombie (says the guy who’s spent like 7 hours on my computer or smart phone today smdh)

    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

      I read about something cool today that I want to implement in my life to brush up my social interaction. Its called “Rejection Therapy”. The rules are as follows:

      YOU MUST BE REJECTED BY ANOTHER PERSON AT LEAST ONCE, EVERY SINGLE DAY.
      Please notice the wording of the rule. It doesn’t say you must attempt or try to be rejected. The rule is you MUST be rejected by another human being. In this game, rejection is success.
      No other outcome will meet the requirement of Rejection Therapy.
      To put yourself in a situation where rejection is likely, but to your surprise your request is granted, is not a successful outcome. Why? Because you weren’t rejected. You didn’t ask for enough. [via Rejection Therapy]

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        “Because you weren’t rejected. You didn’t ask for enough. ”

        This right here…

      • Kema

        I can see this working. It would require you to go after many things that you would normally let pass. In the end you would benefit because of success in the times you are not rejected but would have never tried due to fear of rejection.

        “If you try you may fail, if you don’t try your’e guaranteed to”

        • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

          Trying to figure out what I should ask for today…

          • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

            The site that I found this on was a website for men. The whole premise was that men HAVE to deal with rejection… HAVE TO. So if you plan on being a real, assertive man then you better get used to it, and if you’re not getting a healthy dose of rejection then you’re probably playing it too safe in life.

            It’d be infinitely interesting to see women performing this exercise.

            • predoctabird

              I was at a conference where they had a break out session about negotiating your salary and work contract before taking a job offer. They didn’t call it Rejection Therapy, but they basically gave us the same exercise. Go out and ask for something, anything, doesn’t matter if you want it or not. If you get rejected, that’s great, you asked for too much. They encouraged us to (realistically) apply this when negotiating. Ask for more than you need, you may not get it all, but you’ll get more than if you hadn’t asked. Oh… and this session was geared towards women in the workplace.

      • sincereluv4life

        I used to be involved in a pyramid scheme where we had to harrass everybody’s mama & nem to join our business & we did this whole rejection therapy thing (by a different name)…..ish works

      • Rewind

        I want to try that. I’m not afraid of rejection as I’ve been used to it for a long time. But I can’t do much without feeling comfortable.

    • That Ugly Kid

      I think personality also plays a factor into it as well. Someone like me, who loves being around people and meeting new people, will probably never be socially lazy, no matter how much time they spend on social media sites.

      • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

        @ TUK- Good point. With me it’s more lifestyle and location right now. If I were in a major city (or anywhere that wasn’t as ignorant and backwards as where I currently live) and was riding public transportation instead of driving it would be a completely different story.

        @ Jay- You know what…I’m gonna have to go ahead and start living by that rule. Because I’m not asocial or socially awkward but I’m analytical to a fault so I don’t interact with as many people as I would like to. Also I’m EXTREMELY habit oriented (you can tell by how much I comment on this site) so I just need to start a productive habit such as that one. Rejection Theory is pretty genius for someone in my situation. Good find

        • http://twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

          Lifestyle + location + personality = da truff!!

          I can’t wait to live in a country where I can speak the language again. My chipper azz loves striking a conversation with strangers. But my limited language skills mean even though I’m out and about I end up having the same damn conversation 6 times a day. Ugh -_-

          • Gabs

            in which country are you lol

          • http://www.altherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

            Yes! When I was in the Dominican Republic for a month it was the most frustrating thing ever! I knew I would LOVE to talk and socialize with the locals, but didn’t speak enough Spanish to do any more than order food smh. I vowed that when I got back to the States I was gonna talk to SEVERAL strangers everyday. That lasted for like a week then I fell back into comfortable habits of entertaining myself with my own thoughts for the most part. Smh

          • Rewind

            I feel weird for not even being able to do that here without liquid courage.

    • Tx10inch

      Technology’s made us lazy and socially sloppy at best, flat out awkward and/or shy at worst.

      Especially the “lazy” part. Quick — How many phone numbers can anyone remember right now without looking at their contact list?!?! *Katt williams voice* Go head, I’ll wait……

      • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

        You’re right. In fact I can’t even remember my own number! Interestingly enough though, I still remember our home telephone number from when I was a kid. And a few of my friend’s numbers.

        • Tx10inch

          Outta 87 numbers in my phone, I can recite 4 at best. Just S.A.D. How did we do this before?

          • Beautifullyhuman

            I remember a time when people kept personal phone books.

            Does anyone remember those? Lol

            • http://www.twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

              My mom still has her’s from the 90′s

            • chameleonic

              yeah im kinda anal. my numbers were saved to the computer, in my phone, AND were written in my business notebook. i also do two of everything and flush my bank statements so i still believe in address books. i only know four numbers by heart though even though i dont even use the phone anymore. that mofo has been on silent on the charger since this summer. tyler perry vacationing <3

            • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

              When men used to have little black books full of phone numbers…

              • demondog06

                damn i just realized something…if i were to lose my phone today. i would be cut off from a good chunk of people that i know forever!

                i need to make some serious back ups…then back up my back ups….

                • Rewind

                  Or…..depending on the phone type you have….the numbers are listed on your computer, you just have to get another version of the phone to download it.

  • SororSalsa

    This is why I refuse to get a smartphone. My dumbphone does what it needs to do, but isn’t interesting enough for me to give it more than cursory attention.

    • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

      Same here. Plus they (or the data plans) cost too much.

    • chameleonic

      word. i had one of the original smartphones (voyager) but i really didnt need anything super fancy because i got used to it and never bothered to upgrade.

    • Aly

      When I started my job they gave me an iPhone to use, so I decided to downgrade my personal phone to a dumb phone to save some money. The people at AT&T thought I was nuts…”Wait, you want to get a (gasp) REGULAR phone?” Yes AT&T, I do.

      • Sweet GA Brown

        I just gasped.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      I actually need a smartphone, however I am p!ssed about how much it takes to actually make a phone call. It takes me longer to call someone than to take and send a photo!

    • demondog06

      man i got all of stuff on my phone, but the only thing i use is the gps map feature…which by the way is inaccurate 40 % of the time

  • That Ugly Kid

    I’ve only met one online friend in person. Right from VSB no less. She’s smart, beautiful, and awesome and we keep in touch. Although Ima need her to stop making fun of me because she’s older than me. She says I look like I’m 16 years old in person, even with my facial hair! I’m a big boy now, dammit!

    Although, I can attest to social media becoming a major component in communication, especially after an incident I had at a friend’s house. It’s the entire reason why I’m on Twitter now.

    A group of about 8 of us was hanging out in a friend’s basement. We were watching TV and after a while, I noticed everyone had gotten silent. I look back, and literally EVERYONE was looking down at their phones. A bunch of people, in the same room, were TWEETING each other when they were no more than 3ft away from the person they were tweeting. And after they constantly begged me to get on Twitter, I eventually did.

    The rest….is history.

    • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

      I think I would have walked out of the room, tweeted them all goodbye and found new friends.

      • That Ugly Kid

        Lol, why?

        • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

          Why? If you have to ask then…

        • Rewind

          Val is basically saying your friends absolutely suck and need to jump in a volcano.

          • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

            Lol! Volcano is just so wonderfully random, Rewind. I’m cracking up.

            • Rewind

              My imagination is too vast Val, I can’t help it!

    • chameleonic

      you have facial hair?! youre gonna be my imaginary fwb and were gonna learn all types of…fun stuff together!

      • That Ugly Kid

        Pretty much the best idea I’ve heard all week.

    • Brother Mouzone

      Is it “WC” ? lol

  • http://dashwilliams.me/ Dash

    I don’t have much interest or experience with meeting people from social networks. After some traumatizing Facebook rendezvous, I decided to leave internet people on my laptop screen.

    I would say I can understand those blogger meetups being awkward. Whenever someone has someone that they are dying for me to meet and they are hyped up, the meeting is almost always disappointing. They are never as cute, charming, or interesting as your homie made them out to be.

    • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

      Yeah, I gave up on facebook as a potential dating site a LONG time ago (early 2005 to be exact). Had two bad experiences (wrote the first one off as a fluke). This was in the early days of facebook when there were no photo albums and you could only have one profile pic at a time (and their was no thumbing through multiple profile pics, cause it only stored the current one). I was turned off to the idea every since then, even though it’s much easier to get a better idea of how they look now. I’d rather meet u drunk at a bar than on a screen all dolled up and misleading. Glamour shots tell lies. Evil evil lies smh

      • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

        I’ve been lucky, and I’m an OG when it comes to meeting people online (since 98). From AOL, to Yahoo, to Myspace… I’ve always…. ALWAYS insisted on getting MULTIPLE current pics. As a matter of fact the MOST GORGEOUS women I’ve ever been with, I met on Myspace. One of them being my son’s mother who I was with for 6 years.

        • Aly

          Multiple pics indeed.

          • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

            =)

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          Internet OGs unite! I’ve been doing the meetup from online thing since 1996. Yes, it’s been that long. I still maintain the original email account I opened in 1995. :)

          • DQ

            OG here also. I actually have a IRL friend that started on Blackplanet. Yeah. I said it. Blackplanet. Friendship lasted longer than my account. LOL.

            But I’ve met people from other message boards, and a handful of people from here. Nothing awkward about it (to me).

        • That Ugly Kid

          OG here as well. Been asking for multiple pics since 2008.

          • Corey

            You still playing roulette even with multiple pics. Trust me. I’ve been had. Nothing worse than that unfortable moment a woman opens the door and she looks like she just finished eating three of the girl in her pics and 7 loaves of bread.

            • That Ugly Kid

              Had something like that happen in high school, actually. It was how I learned the hard way to request pictures of the body, don’t just send me face shots. Some chick accidently texted me, she had the wrong number. We texted back and forth anyway. She was cool so we exchanged pictures (face) and since we went to the same school, agreed to meet up after class.

              Long story short, as I was walking down the hallway, I saw her walking towards me, I mentally yelled “Oh f*ck no!” and walked clean the f*ck away when I saw how grotesquely rotund she was.

              Lesson learned.

              • chameleonic

                [*looks at my full figured body*] i knew i was fugly, and here i was thinking everytime i go for a walk some guy pulls his car over to talk to me because he wants to earn his eagle scout badge for chivalry or something.

                • That Ugly Kid

                  Oh hush. I doubt you are grotesquely rotund.

        • Rewind

          WOOORD.

          Been meeting people online since Blackplanet in 01. Most of the women I’ve been with, I’ve met online first, and the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen have been people I hooked up with through sites like Myspace or Paxed.

          But…those fun days are over now. Once the rest of the world catches on, everything becomes cliche.

      • Corey

        I feel you on that one. I got straight played with an online pic. Matter fact she had multiple pics and it all looked legit….until she opened the door. I felt like Paul Wall
        #Igottheinternetgoinnuts

        • Juiciest Mango

          *dead*!!

        • Rewind

          I think every dude who ever used the internet has that one story of a girl who straight lied her ass off with the pic.

          Nothing however, is worse than back in the days when the pics were fake. At least now, you can tell a chick to webcam or send a pic off her phone. Back then, it was Russian Roulette.

          • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

            The funny thing about demanding that a woman prove that shes not a liar and that she looks good enough for you to take time out of your day to meet is that its offensive. I’ve told a few guys no and they assumed my picture was fake and we stopped talking. I don’t own any staged photos. But I resent the implication of the demand for proof. To me, I avoided wasting time on an a$$hole.

            • Juiciest Mango

              Goood laaaaaaaawd!!!

              You are one one fiery habanero pepper!! Rewind you gon let this slide?!!

              • Rewind

                Ole instigating ass, look at you!

                *puts Mango in a headlock*

            • Rewind

              *gives a round of applause for WC*

              Everybody, lets congratulate WC on being unique, you know she deserves it since she’s got to tell you that EVERY SINGLE DAY.

              While you have no problem not posting up pretend pictures, that can’t be said for other people. I and many other people have been the victims of liars, who steal someone else’s pic and pose as them online, until it’s time to meet and then they find every excuse in the book not to reveal the secret. Some actually did come out in person and got mad that they weren’t accepted by either me or other people for being a fraud.

              Whatever the reason, it is not pretentious to assume that if you show who you truly are online, others would have the same corteousy. If they don’t, then whatever, but they don’t get to act like they should be respected the way they want to be respected.

              • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

                If you’ve been fooled that many times by fake pictures, then you’re not terribly sharp. We wouldn’t get along, I find stupidity unattractive. It its gotten to the point where you are so jaded that you don’t trust anybody, then we wouldn’t get along. I find cynicism unattractive. So it works for me.

                • Rewind

                  I said that this was the case in the past before cellphone pictures and webcameras being as rampant as they are now. Clearly things are different now. Whatever picture someone puts online now, that’s on them, but I’m not breaking my neck to see if that’s really them. got better things to do.

            • Corey

              That actually works out for everyone involved. Time is a resource you can never recover. You don’t meet a stranger who doesn’t know you well enough to fully trust you and we avoid wasting time on a phantom woman. I can dig it.

            • http://dashwilliams.me/ Dash

              I will just assume that you are ugly then, and never make an attempt to meet you.

    • Beautifullyhuman

      I actually met a guy in person that I became acquainted with on MySpace circa 2005. Funny thing is, he’s actually my ninja and still pursuing me knowing good damn well ain’t nothing happening between us. Lol.

      Ironically, I might meet someone I met 11 yrs ago online in person this weekend. We’ve always kept in touch although living in separate states. She’s been my ace boon from 16 to 27. Crazy.

      • chameleonic

        whats it like having THAT close of a relationship online prior to meeting the person? im wondering if its easier to gel the closer you are.

        • Beautifullyhuman

          It’s actually really nice. We kinda have this kindred spirit thing which is why we’ve been able to stay in touch for so long. But, I actually hold a lot of love for her…she’s been there through my young adulthood until now. I believe this will translate into a great meeting because she’s always been cool and its hard to keep up a facade for 11 years.

      • http://dashwilliams.me/ Dash

        MySpace was over when I finally made an account. I did get into Facebook on the ground floor though. My boys were having a ball on MySpace. I am still a tad bit envious to this day.

        • http://www.altherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

          Yeah I was quite envious hearin about Jay and some of my friends I know in real life’s success from MySpace back in the pre-Facebook days. I wasn’t an Internet guy back then (I was in middle/high school) and none of my friends were doin it so the thought never even crossed my mind. The one person I met from VSB was just as sexy and fun to hang out with in person tho. We’re still pretty close actually. So I guess Internet meet ups ain’t all bad

          • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

            I take no credit for my success rate. If I had to explain it in one word, that word would be: Atlanta dude… Atlanta. (sigh)

            • Iceprincess2

              ROTFLMFAO you telling the truth bro. Damn shame *sigh*

            • Corey

              Jay may be on to something there. Atl is like fishing…in a barrel…with C4…

              • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

                It really is. Just saw a FB status from a young dude I knew that just moved back to L.A. from Atlanta. He says that even HOLLYWOOD has nothing on the A as far as selection.

      • Rewind

        I was cleaning up my room earlier this year and found a folder with old letters and pictures. Come to find out, I talked to his girl back in 01 and we became fast friends, even using snail mail to talk and we had worked really hard on meeting each other…only problem was she was in Seattle, and I was in Brooklyn. The day I read the note was 11 years to the date the letter was sent to me. I even checked on FB to see if she was still alive. I think I found her and sent a note, just as a Hello for the hell of it. Never got a response but I just found it crazy how that happened.

  • jennifer

    Allow me to regale you with my most recent social media-inspired awkwardness.

    So, you know how you twitter-stalk someone… not because you’re obsessed with him but just because his tweets are hilarious and before you know it you are following the storyline of his life like it’s a movie or something… and then you see him in front of Bowery Electric and accidentally ask him how the Ghostface Killah concert was… and he asks how you knew he went to see Ghostface and you can’t say “Oh, because I am all up and through your twitter like every single day!” so you just go “ummmm, somebody told me they saw you or whatever heyhowaboutthoseyankeesthatsadamnshame.

    • http://dashwilliams.me/ Dash

      That sounds like more than Twitter stalking to me.

      • jennifer

        I know how it sounds. And I am ashamed.

      • jennifer

        Oh. Wait a sec. Let me clarify that the run in was accidental and acouple of weeks after the concert.

        • demondog06

          sure…………

    • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

      “…before you know it you are following the storyline of his life like it’s a movie or something… ”

      Yep. Twitter, facebook, blogs can all lead to this.

    • chameleonic

      lmao! that sounds like genuine social media awkwardness. id just be honest though. a ‘well, i find your twitter to be quite the comic relief so i hit the follow button and i recall your tweet about the concert’ is sufficient. people are entirely too confused about what it means to stalk someone. what you did was called talking to someone youre interested in after getting to know them through their twitter feed.

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    Only if you let it become your sole means of interaction. You know sort of like the people sorta like the people on instagram who ONLY do things so that they can have photos on instagram? It only becomes a detriment when you fixate all your human interactions through social networks. For some people, like myself, it has actually helped them be more social in the real world. You gotta be able to not get too wrapped up in everything online. When you’re a mildly popular blogger out in these e-streets and give lots of personal anecdotes/immediate reactions people like to project absurd expectations on you.

  • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

    “lurking in real life.”

    I love this. It describes so many people I know.