Is Furious 7 A “Black” Movie? (Hint: Yes) » VSB

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Is Furious 7 A “Black” Movie? (Hint: Yes)

Universal Pictures

 

Last weekend, as I watched Furious 7 confirm that it’s both the most ridiculous and the most dependable movie franchise ever — it’s basically the movie version of the cheddar bay biscuit — I couldn’t help but ponder a few metaphysical queries, namely…

1. Is there a person whose job is to spray The Rock with sweat between each take? (Perhaps his/her title is “sweat grip.“)

2. What takes more suspension of belief: Ludacris, Edward Snowden, or Ludacris, Jason Bourne?

3. Is Furious 7 a Black movie?

Now, the first two questions have obvious answers. Yes, there definitely must be a Rock sweat grip employed by the Furious franchise, and Ludacris, Jason Bourne is much, much, much, much less believable than Ludacris, Edward Snowden.

The last question, however, is a conundrum. Because if Furious 7 is a Black movie, its record-breaking box office would make it the most successful Black movie ever. But, despite the fact that its opening weekend audience was 75% non-White, if Furious 7 was branded and marketed as a Black movie, it would not have been as successful.

This leaves us with two more questions: What makes a Black movie a Black movie, and how does Furious 7 qualify (or not)?

There are three ways a movie can qualify as Black.

1. Be about a Black person or a Black-related subject

For instance, most of the recognizable actors in 12 Years a Slave (Benedict Cumberbatch, Brad Pitt, Michael Fassbender, Paul Dano, etc) are White. But it’s a Black movie because it’s about a Black person and involves an unmistakably Black-related subject. 

2. Star/feature a bunch of Black people

The Best Man Holiday didn’t necessarily involve any themes unique to Black people. But it starred a bunch of Black people and had a choreographed dance scene, so it’s a Black movie.

3. Include Clifton Powell

If still somewhat unsure if a movie is Black movie, ask “Is Clifton Powell in it?” If the answer is “Yes,” it’s a Black movie. It might even be the Blackest movie you’ll ever see. And, there’s a 93% chance you’re watching it while in the barbershop.

Clifton Powell is not in Furious 7. It also does not involve any themes specifically related to Blackness. So, it fails two of the “Is it a Black movie?” metrics. But Furious 7 has a cast so Black that I wouldn’t be surprised if Clifton Powell showed up in a deleted scene, as Tyrese’s aint shit Uncle Man-Man or something.

To wit, 11 people have prominent speaking parts in the movie. Here’s the racial breakdown for each.

Vin Diesel (I have no fucking clue. Which means he’s probably Black.)

The Rock (Black)

Paul Walker (White)

Jordana Brewster (Latina)

Michelle Rodriguez (Afro-Latina)

Jason Statham (White)

Ludacris (Black)

Tyrese (Black)

Kurt Russell (White, although I have a Black friend who looks exactly like him)

Djimon Hounsou (Black)

Nathalie Emmanuel (Black)

If you count Vin Diesel as Black and Michelle Rodriquez as kinda, sorta, Black, that’s 6.5 Black people. That means the principle roles in Furious 7 are 59% Black. And, as anyone who’s ever been anywhere where 59% of the people were Black can tell you, 59% Black is Black as hell.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • KKay

    I watch them for the eye-candy and kick azz cars. Plot is secondary.

    • Damon Young

      the cars and the increasingly ridiculous action scenes are the main characters

      • KKay

        Correct!

        I mean, these are my movies. But I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the “Catch Letty flying through the air and land on the car on a bridge” scene in the last movie.

        • Andrea

          It reminds me of Empire :)

        • He flew yo. Flew.

    • Rachmo

      Right I always have to Wikipedia the plot afterwards bc I don’t pay attention.

    • miss t-lee

      and the redic stunts.

  • KB

    I’ve seen all the Fast and Furious movies. I was into the tuner car culture (though I had no ride of my own) when the first movie premiered when I was 19, so this movie franchise has sorta grown up with me. I enjoyed the movie. sure the plot and dialogue was sketchy, but that’s not why you go to see an action movie. They are predicting this one to potentially gross over $1B worldwide. It’s already made close to $400M this weekend alone. Oh yeah, there are at least 3 more installments in the works and possible spin-off movies, one involving the exploits of Hobbs (The Rock’s character) and one with Tej and Rome (Luda and Tyrese). I am here for all of this.

    SN: Was reading an article this weekend about how John Singleton wanted Ja Rule to be in the sequel (he was in the original and made only $15K, he was offered $500K for the second) but Ja ignored John’s phone calls and felt like the franchise wasn’t going to be a big hit, so Singleton called up Luda and Tyrese instead. Welp, sucks for JA.

    • mikster

      wow this is crazy i was just telling MzPeaches how I don’t even remember Ja Rule at all. Thats messed up for him.. I know one thing Luda betta up his child support from $1.67 to $4.00 ASAP!

      • KB

        Ja Rule’s part in the first one lasted all of 15 minutes..if that. They did have Igloo Azalea make a brief cameo in this one, which almost caused me to walk out.

        • Andrea

          I was more concerned with the randomness of Bow Wow lol

          • mikster

            lol i just saw Bow Wow in a Madea movie… I thought I saw all the Madea movies until last night….. this movie was so random! and Teyana Taylor was in it as his baby momma? i was so confused.

            • Andrea

              Dumb question. Was the movie any good? lol

              • MzzPeaches

                Refer to your first part of the sentence lol

              • mikster

                LMBO…… It was extremely bizarre if that makes any sense. I came in mid movie….. and every other second Madea was spouting off some motherly wisdom of some sort to every person she came in contact with “respect your elders” “spend time with your mother” “be the man of the house”……… then Teyana playing hood baby momma….. umm some random “D” list celebs I’ve never seen in my life…..the movie was in super high definition so that didn’t help lol. I don’t remember the name of this movie, or what happened in the end.

                • MzzPeaches

                  Madea’s Big Happy Family

                  • mikster

                    thank you lol

                • Andrea

                  I think I would enjoy this. So bad it is good. I guess it can’t be too hard to google Teyana’s movie roles. I just went through a phase of watching bad Jason Statham movies. I guess I should do all the bad Madea movies next.

                  • mikster

                    lol it wasn’t horrible it was just weird because I honestly don’t remember when it came out….. or why Bow Wow is so short…. the entire movie i just kept thinking soooooo Evikah you sure bout this??

                  • mikster

                    Ok I love all Jason Statham movies lol.

                  • Lea Thrace

                    There are no bad Statham movies. That man can do no wrong you hear me!

                    • Statham is in Melissa McCarthy’s new movie. That might be the most ridiculously awesome thing ever.

                    • Lea Thrace

                      A review I read of that movie said it was actually surprisingly awesome and that both Statham and McCarthy were great in it. It’s on my list for this weekend.

                    • mikster

                      *slow claps*

                    • uNk

                      Right!! all 3 transporters still get play in my house

                    • miss t-lee

                      HYFR

                    • miss t-lee

                      No wrong. None.

          • SororSalsa

            I think that was footage from F&F: Tokyo Drift. I think just Lucas Black actually shot the scene for F&F 7.

      • He has the children now right?

        • mikster

          oh does he??? see how much I pay attention….. when did this happen?? *googling*

        • mikster

          ““I am gratified that the judge found me to be the most fit and proper parent to have primary physical custody of our beautiful daughter,” Ludacris told the site”

          I just read this on hollywood life and i have questions… First question, is he considered a better parent based on finances alone? secondly How do these celebs end up having babies with such ratchets of people that, they have to get full custody in the first place?? WHO ARE THESE WOMEN!!! and Money clearly doesn’t make you smart.

          • AlwaysCC

            the comedians went in on ludacris and his baby mamas on the justin bieber roast lol

            • mikster

              really??? ok so i guess I need to watch this too now lol

            • Andrea

              He really does remind me of Mr. Potato Head

              • AlwaysCC

                i know, right?!?! but it was kinda funny (and so true) that martha stewart had more street cred than all of the athletes and rappers combined lmbo

                • Andrea

                  I thought Martha was the funniest. She kilt me dead with N*** Rich.

                  • AlwaysCC

                    she was the funniest! i never know what to expect with her…

          • When you suffer from wayward d*ck you make bad decisions. I don’t think it was solely based on finances but also living environment and that the girls will now be a two parent household now that he’s married.

            • mikster

              Right I figured that might be the second reason but people get remarried all the time which leads me to believe the childs mom is as ratchet as they come. Because If I can support myself and my child I don’t care how much money you have you wont be getting my baby. Luda aint ish for this lol

              • well she can’t. she was planning on living off that child support forever.

                • mikster

                  I saw it was $7,000 a month……. I can’t figure out why this was a problem. I can do a lot with $7,000 a month lol

                  • Amber

                    From what I understand or read (so take this with a grain of salt) she wanted more money. Just bad adult decisions all around on this one.

                    • mikster

                      right I did read that as well. so instead of being cool with that you got your child taken from you?? I would have been like $7,000? ok cool ty have a good day sir lol.

                    • Amber

                      Right there wouldn’t be an argument.

                    • dmcmillian72

                      But isn’t that harsh though? I mean, yeah… She was being hella greedy! But the punishment for greed is to have your custody stripped? The judge couldn’t have just admonished her for being greedy, figuratively slapped her wrist, cut her support down to $5000…? She lost custody?! That doesn’t sound right to me.

                  • 84,000 a year to parent your child. Don’t have to work, just parent your child

                    • mikster

                      Exactly!! I can parent my child and then some…. I could have someone else parent my child for $7,000 half the time lol and then find other things to do with the rest of the cash start a business or something.

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      “and then find other things to do with the rest of the cash start a business or something.”

                      This is the only problem I’ve ever had with child support; no verification that the money is actually spent on the child.

                    • mikster

                      I don’t have kids but I feel an argument coming on in 5,4,3,2,1………..Whet??? LOL

                    • MzzPeaches

                      *pulls up a seat and takes the popcorn out of my big purse*

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      No fighting here. I look at my brother who pays significantly less than Luda and is pissed when he gets his kids and they have holes in their shoes. He’s looking at ol girl like where did the money I sent you go??

                    • MzzPeaches

                      Trifling “baby mama’s” are THE worst. Don’t show up to drop them off with a new Brazilian weave looking like My Little Pony and Jr.’s pants are cutting off his circulation they’re so tight.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      I got a dude who has custody and still pays his baby moms for child support

                    • mikster

                      wait huh??????? how does this work lol

                    • Epsilonicus

                      there isnt a significant drop off in lifestyle when child stays with her.

                    • mikster

                      wooooooooooooooow….. is it ok for me to say neato??? without being funny or rude??

                    • Epsilonicus

                      I think it is kind of unfair but to each their own

                    • mikster

                      yep thats like the woman who got paid what a couple million to ensure the kids have the same exact lifestyle they were accustomed to when she was married to the childrens father? for that you just go live with dad lol. I don’t have kids so its easy for me to arbitrarily give them up lol

                    • AlwaysCC

                      i can see both sides…you (my rich husband) want me to stay at home with the kids and be mom for 10 years? cool. then we get divorced. even if it’s amicable…i haven’t had job experience for 10 years (and let’s assume she was highly educated, at least a college degree before that). i now need to find a way to take care of myself and my kids (because moms are still the *primary* caregivers) when we all know women ain’t gettin’ paid the same. do you need to come up off some money to supplement lifestyle? absolutely. do i need $1mil a month to keep up with the Jones? naw dude – kids might need to share a bathroom and wear their clothes more than once.

                    • mikster

                      im saying tho if u could fight for a million and potentially win wouldn’t you try? lol

                    • AlwaysCC

                      lol you have a point there.

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      “for that you just go live with dad”

                      In the immortal words of Chris Rock, women don’t go back. She’s not going back to living how she used to live without a fight……or a court order lol!

                    • AlwaysCC

                      it’s cheaper to keep her.

                    • SuperStrings

                      I won’t say this is common, but you wouldn’t have to ask around too much to find cases of it.

                    • Boo Radley

                      My dad did that. Mostly it was his way of saying “sorry I was an asshat for those 14 years of marriage.” Plus, she never asked for alimony.

                    • mikster

                      I agree there are extreme cases of Trifling but for the average woman on child support I have a figure in my head for the amount of sleepless nights I have to account for when my child won’t sleep because of monsters, being hungry, sick, or just wants to be in my bed and pee on me. I have a figure for those days it seems like all you need is a few hours of alone time but nobody will watch the baby just so you can run 2 errands without someone crying or hollering in your ear. I also have a figure for the private school I can’t put my kids in. I have a figure for the shoes I buy because my babies daddy only sees his kids once a week and acts like thats a lot so retail therapy might just be my thing and who gone check me?? I have a figure for all the food I eat and weight I gain because im secretly depressed because while my baby daddy has moved on playing family man with another woman im stuck here by myself being regulated by said daddy who things he can tell me who I can and cannot date, and I have a figure for the money I’m spending on gym equipment and memberships to gyms when I realize I deserve happy too but I need to look good to get it. LONG AS my child has food and clothing, I am doing exactly what I am suppose to do it, anything beyond that is considered extra lol. Check me and as soon as you do im dropping this kid off on your porch lol

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      I’m with you on 80% of what you just said. Married women and committed women who are not married go through the same issues of depression and finding time for themselves.

                      If I get on my soapbox, I blame society for putting mothers on this pedestal that motherhood is unicorns and glitter and not tell folks of the dark issues women deal with. I blame women for passing on the lie that women are the only folks that can raise a child aka momma’s way is the only way; how are we co-parenting if it’s all about how you do it. I blame society for not truly valuing a woman’s time and not allowing them to put a value to the work they do in the house if you were to pay to have it done.

                      My issue is still “LONG AS my child has food and clothing, I am doing exactly what I am suppose to do it, anything beyond that is considered extra” There are some women that will do the bare minimum so the rest of the money is a kick back. I know single mothers that struggle and I know some shady single mothers. I wish the shady ones would do better.

                    • mikster

                      and we both agree on your entire box especially the part bout doing the bare minimum. But what I am saying is that because we have this idea that motherhood is glitter we just assume its all easy. I’m single with NO KIDS and I struggle to stay sane daily so who knows what I personally need to stay in tact as a single mom. Again im not giving the ratchet moms a pass but im saying from the hood mother who gets hair nails done 4 days a week to the woman making 90k a year taking that one day she gets off from her kid to buy 8 pairs of louboutins….. we all have a thing and we all have our way of coping.

                    • mikster

                      I’m probably on a soap box because I spent half my Easter with a 4 year old and when I finally got home I had to thank Jesus. That was the longest day of my life! Her mom is a single parent and her mother barely gets a 1 day a week off and I promise you I’d be on something If that was my child in real life. nope, nah, uhun, no, pass

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      I feel like that with my two teen aged sons and I’m married. When they go to bed, I don’t know who runs for the wine / liquor first! LOL!

                    • mikster

                      Someone needs to take my kids once they hit teen status.

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      noap! lol!!!

                    • mikster

                      thats ok I’m pretty sure my kids are gonna be very sasha and maliaish (assuming there the unicorns of teens)

                    • Boo Radley

                      My issue with child support detractors is that 98% of my money goes into my home and children, and men are balking at 30% of theirs being expected to do the same? Where is the equity in that?

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      To be clear, I’m not a child support detractor. My question has always been verification and validation. For example, you said “98% of my money goes into my home and children,…” How does one verify that?? What happens if / when what is supposed to be for the child a) is the income and b) isn’t used correctly?? My nieces and nephews should never have holes in their shoes; especially if my brother is sending over the funds without question.

                      @disqus_QuHIC9DoTP:disqus joked about taking a slice of a large child support payment and using it to start a business. The point that I made then and now if that were to occur, this is clearly not benefiting the kids and there’s not check and balance in place to prevent the divergence of funds in this manner.

                    • Boo Radley

                      Well, Uncle Sam verifies that for me every year. Then again, you’ll never catch my kids with holes in their shoes, either. Meanwhile, how would a mother using a portion of income to start a business not benefit her kids?

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      Uncle Sam is not looking at how you segregate your money from the child support money; he counts what you get as income.

                      Let’s see failure rate, type of business, etc. Your plunking in dollars to a business that has never made a profit, you’re looking to sell snow shovels to Aboriginal Australians in Australlia, etc. What does Jr. have to show for all the money that was supposed to goto his well being if the company goes belly up?

                      A legal question that’s slightly a tangent would be given that you used Jr’s money to start a business, wouldn’t Jr. technically be the owner??

                    • Boo Radley

                      On the contrary — Uncle Sam can see very well each year what I spend on child care, medical expenses, household upkeep and even what I put aside for college. But he can’t see Picture Day and field trips, allowance, scout uniforms, cleats, dresses/hair/shoes/makeup for Homecoming AND prom…hell, the occasional Happy Meal because someone made you sad that day. It takes far more to raise a healthy and well-rounded child that regular meals and warm clothing, and those expenses can take up as much if not more than do the bare necessities.

                      For this reason, the very notion of having to segregate “my” money from the money I receive to ASSIST in supporting my children is offensive to me. (It’s not “Junior’s money.” It’s money given to support Junior’s upkeep.) Whatever comes into my house is for the house and benefit of those within it.

                      Risking another tangent, but if we were to start going down this slippery slope of “segregating” money, what about those who have children from different fathers and incomes? Does Johnny get to rock J’s while Keisha is kickin’ it in Keds because her daddy is trifling? What about school shopping? No Crayolas for you, Keisha! Get on them Rose Arts.

                      You can’t expect any kind of decent mother to make those kinds of distinctions. She just takes what she has and uses it to the best benefit of her children. I realize that I can throw a rock and hit 3 people with a story about the kind of women that make up the exception, but they are the exception nonetheless.

                      As for your question about the business, I’ll play. Putting the “Junior’s money” issue aside, Parents are intrinsically expected to make financial decisions on behalf of their children — it’s a part of the job. What would be the difference in this and using a portion of the money to invest in high-risk stock? I’d also venture that most people with children who start business do so with the hopes that they will be able to pass it or the proceeds down to their children.

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      As a father of two, I understand that the child support amount alone doesn’t cover all the things you mentioned; kids are like college costs in that regard. It still doesn’t diminish my position that if there’s a formula to determine a) what a man pays and b) cola adjustments to that amount then there should be some type of methodology to gauge the dollars.

                      Everybody situation is different. Before I married the Mrs. I paid the health insurance. Did the Mrs have to pay a co-pay or two yes. Things like T-Ball and class pictures were paid for outside of the monies I deposited into her account. Now if dude said this is all your getting then I’m with you 100% about support not being enough. However, the courts don’t care if I paid for the Picture Day and field trips, allowance, scout uniforms, cleats, dresses/hair/shoes/makeup for Homecoming AND prom if I don’t put it in your hand or used a portion of the support money to do those things. I could end up in jail.

                      When it comes to multiple kids, you saw my comment (and upvoted it) since we know how that situation will play out (more money being asked for).

                      Your business response does not take one thing into account. While most people with children who start business do so with the hopes that
                      they will be able to pass it or the proceeds down to their children, they don’t fund them with monies earmarked for those children.

                    • Boo Radley

                      I disagree that the money is (or should be) earmarked for the children, unless your definition of that is “what is or can reasonably be expected to be for the benefit of the child(ren).” In which case, starting a business would qualify.

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      The problem with using the money for a business (for me) is there is no guarantee that the child will see any benefit whereas the money you currently have in your hand can make an immediate impact. If never fed any child, stockpiles of Mary Kay, Herbalife, or the rent you’re paying for the retail spot isn’t feeding Timmy. On the other hand, that money you planned to earmark to start that business can feed him and clothe him right now….but that’s just me.

                    • Boo Radley

                      If Timmy’s basic necessities aren’t being met, then of course it would be irresponsible to assign those funds to anywhere else — business or no.

                      If you notice how lazily I’m arguing this point, it’s because I don’t think we disagree on the fundamentals of this issue.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      Exactly.

                    • mikster

                      I have no idea how much it cost to parent a child lets be clear lol. After Easter Sunday I certainly don’t want to know or care at this point lol

                    • MzzPeaches

                      It definitely don’t take 7k a month, I can tell you that.

                      (Signed a Childless Mother)

                    • AlwaysCC

                      cosigned – a mom of 2

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      It depends on where you are and what you do. You child ain’t attending PS123; they’re attending Le Snob Academy. You’re not shopping at the mall, you’re going to trendy boutiques. You’re not staying in the rent controlled apartmet that’s hood adjacent, you’re leasing the spot that’s $2K / month,

                    • AlwaysCC

                      for $7K/mth i need you to OWN your home. #thatisall #movedownsouth #ludacanflytovisit

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      But the woman is supposed (operative word) to contribute to the finances somewhere but I forgot you can claim child support as income. I would hope that ol girl is aggressive about paying off that mortgage because it’s all on her at 18.

                    • AlwaysCC

                      that’s my point tho – she could do alladat with NO other income (which i could understand with a small child – i wouldn’t dare mandate anyone to send a baby to daycare unless you HAD to work).

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      It’s all a function of what you plan to have your child do. The private school I went to is as much as tuition at the public university. Activities, dance, ballet, etc clothes, food, and rent I could see someone blowing $7 / month simply because they (she) knows she can afford to think differently that she would if she adopted or was truly a single mother.

                    • AlwaysCC

                      oh i agree. there is always something that you can blow money on. but this kid wasn’t in school yet. i think she’s *maybe* 1yo.

                      but i’m just going sit over here and silently judge both of the parents – and hope that little girl prospers.

                    • mikster

                      this makes perfect sense……..

                    • MzzPeaches

                      I second that. You can buy a McMansion or a fly azz condos and be good. I remember at one point when the market was so bad they were damn near doing buy 1, get 1 on condos in Atl ( I kid you not).

                    • mikster

                      wow

                    • SuperStrings

                      In Atlantic Station and Buckhead at that.

                    • MzzPeaches

                      I’m just thinking of how my great grandmother raised me & my two sisters off a fixed income and we never went hungry and still had decent clothes on our backs.

                      So for 7k a month we woulda been like the Huxtables.

                    • mikster

                      and the child is only one so they can’t be accustomed to a certain lifestyle. but then again i could see luda being petty when she is ready to switch schools because nobody believes the kid when she says luda is my daddy lol (Even tho they dont know who he is lol). I can see this being a problem when your $2,000 a month zip code is still not enough to afford Beverly hills schools.

                    • AlwaysCC

                      as they pointed out in the bieber roast – he hasn’t been hot since 2002 buahahaha #gowatchit

                    • mikster

                      I’d have to be one heck of a mom for my kid to leave my house….. go visit rich dad and actually want to come back lol.

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      It’s the economizing problem. As Biggie said mo money, mo problems. Items that were once a dream to purchase now become pocket change.

                    • Boo Radley

                      I hear that, and I came up the same way. However, do you think a child should have to make the same sacrifices that you did, when Daddy is across town living in luxury? I think that when anyone makes a child, they are responsible for providing that child with the absolute best lifestyle and advantages they can afford — an that goes for both parents.

                    • MzzPeaches

                      I’m not saying that a child has to be subjected to the same substandard conditions a parent once faced, I’m just saying for 7k a month they are living better than a LOT of people, even others w/ two parent-two income homes.

                      I may need an itemized list, cause I need to know what exactly 7k was being spent on.

                    • Thing is, even with the 7k a month it’s not like Luda is going to contribute 0 more dollars to raising his child. He’s still likely to be the one that’s setting up and investing in the college tuition fund, along with gifts (probably a sweet 16 car for example) and other basic needs on top of that 7k a month.

                    • mikster

                      totally good point which is even more reason she should have sat down somewhere.

              • Boo Radley

                There are a lot of zeroes between the money it takes to support yourself and the money it takes to fight the kind of lawyer he can afford. Unfortunately sometimes that’s what it comes down to.

            • mikster

              so he has 2 kids? is it the same chick or a diff one??? i feel my brain cells frying as im asking these questions.

              • I think/thought he had two girls. I’m unsure honestly.

                • Andrea

                  3 kids with 3 different women according to Martha Stewart. She suggested he pulls out sometime on some Martha Stewart living sheet sets.

                  • mikster

                    wow i thought this roast was all bebierfied…. how did i miss this

                    • AlwaysCC

                      i just saw it the other day with my husband – i was just walking through the family room and ended standing there and watching an 1.5 of complete foolery (i walked in place to meet my step goal for the day lol)

                    • mikster

                      lol speaking of step goals I can’t work out until I find my waist band for my Polar watch. seems like ever since calorie counting became popular I feel like nothing is burning if i can’t actually see numbers. fit life struggle lol

                    • AlwaysCC

                      use my fitness pal app – it’s free and you can input your calories

                    • mikster

                      nope im petty i need my watch lol *and lazy* lol

                    • AlwaysCC

                      lol i understand! i will neither confirm nor deny being late to an event to wait on my fitbit to charge

                    • mikster

                      hahahahahahahahahahahaha extra petty!!!

                  • AlwaysCC

                    he has an “older” daughter (maybe 13) and two infants/toddlers – each by different women

                    • mikster

                      and he has custody of 2 out of 3??? ok i need to get all this straight lol

                    • IsitFridayyet?
                    • mikster

                      lol

                    • AlwaysCC

                      i believe the newest one is with his wife – not entirely sure. but he definitely has one toddler/baby. i think he has a decent relationship with baby moms #1…

                    • KKay

                      Wait, what? I knew about the older daughter and the one that happened when he and his now-wife were on a “break”. Where did the third one come from?

                    • AlwaysCC

                      didn’t his wife have a baby? i thought that was the third one? i can’t keep up.

                      edit: according to wiki his wife is pregnant – so that’s baby #3!

                    • mikster

                      lemmie check lol

              • Val

                “i feel my brain cells frying as im asking these questions.”

                My brain cells are frying too reading this thread.

              • Nicholas Peters

                one from his baby momma and one from his wife

    • Ja was right, this franchise was dead until Vin Diesel didnt become a star

      • KB

        Considering Ja’s career trajectory not long after the first movie came out, he probably should have picked up that phone.

        • This was 2002-2003 Ja was in his prime then, then 50 happened

          • mikster

            please tell me Ja Rule is not 50 lol

          • KB

            Don’t forget the brief beef he had with Em. Where 50 mortally wounded Ja, it was Em, in my opinion, that delivered the kill shot.

      • KKay

        “Ja was right, this franchise was dead until Vin Diesel didnt become a star”

        Boy, didn’t he come crawling back to the series. It’s been a mutually beneficially relationship. Cuz his career was going nowhere. Believe me, I saw most of the movies Vin was in at the time and they were turrible.

        • AlwaysCC

          the pacifier #nuffsaid

      • Medium Meech

        Strangely enough, my favorite is the on in Miami with Tyrese. Corny, but the best one by far. Didn’t take itself as serious as the other ones and they seemed like they were having fun.

    • Amber

      I’m sure Ja is kicking himself at this point especially considering I recently saw that he is doing those struggle church movies and plays.

      • Wasnt he in jail for fast 5 anyways

        • mikster

          now this i remember!

      • mikster

        DANG

    • Boo Radley

      Ja Rule is the reigning king of piss poor career management.

  • Brandon Allen

    Keith David is an acceptable Clifton Powell surrogate in a pinch

    • KB

      The Great value version of Clifton Powell.

      • MzzPeaches

        But he can pull of 2nd tier respectable black father roles. I don’t believe it with Clifton Powell.

        • KB

          You have a point.

        • Brandon Allen

          Keith definitely has a wider range. He was villain in Princess and the frog And the head gargoyle In the cartoon. But he’s your second evil uncle/daddy/loans shark/pool hustler/ club owner/shady police commissioner

          • Pinks

            And the limpin’ a 5 5 ninja in Dead Presidents!

        • I would pay money to watch Clifton Powell google his damn name.

      • Lea Thrace

        Naw. The other way around. Keith David is Kraft Brand Name and Clifton is the Dollar General version.

    • THE ARBITER

    • Keith David > Clifton

    • Medium Meech

      Question, how is Clifton Powell’s net worth only 500k?

      • MzzPeaches

        Cause films like “Who Made The Potato Salad” probably paid him in money orders and Newports.

        • KB

          LMFAO @ Money orders and Newports. Has anyone ever seen that movie? I can only imagine the sheer level of f****ry the film offers.

          • MzzPeaches

            No, but I remember my bestie telling me Urkle was in it and I tripped off the comedy of the title alone. She has a thing for watching lowbudget, Z list black movies.

            • KB

              I do too and Netflix is a gold mine for them. I must find it and watch.

              • Lisa Harris

                My sister’s wedding. Just watched it yesterday on Netflix. Seemed like a movie but it had a laugh track, and the set was somebody’s aunt’s house.

                • KB

                  MisDial, which is about a woman who works at home as a call center operator, and ends up finding love from a random customer service call.

                  • IsitFridayyet?

                    I actually liked that one.

                    • KB

                      35 and Ticking and Dysfunctional Friends are my favorites.

                    • IsitFridayyet?

                      35 and Ticking is pretty good, I have yet to see Dysfunctional Friends.

                    • KB

                      It stars an ensemble cast of actors from past black sitcoms.

                    • st george doesnt exist

                      that movie is a gold mine of current working and in out work “stars”. the pre star hart days lol

                  • Amber

                    I wanted to like that move but nope.

          • Boo Radley

            Yep. Watched it. I don’t want to talk about it.

        • Medium Meech

          Listen, you drop me off in any hood on God’s green earth with an abundance of money orders and Newports and I will build you an empire.

          • MzzPeaches

            Salute! lol

            • Medium Meech

              No seriously… let me hold some Newports and money orders. I’ll send you my email address. This is a good business proposition.

          • Lisa Harris

            LOL! I believe this to be a very true statement.

        • Andrea

          Why did I think that was a joke and not Actually the Name of a Real Movie. But
          “Who Made the Potatoe Salad?” is an actual movie. “Potatoe” Wow.

          • MzzPeaches

            Oh you thought I was playing? lol

            You should know because of the limitlessness of BLack folks anything is possible.

            • Lisa Harris

              lol…I thought you were playing…
              Now that I know this is real, I’m sure they paid him in money orders and Newports. Maybe even food stamps and a post dated check…

          • st george doesnt exist

            it was kind of entertaining.

        • Brandon Allen

          Hahaha Money orders can be exchanged for legal tender tho…and you know Clifton only smokes Newport 100s no short box for that man.

        • Charlisia Nwachukwu

          HAAAAA! Genius.

        • Outstanding.

    • KB

      Keith David went to Julliard, so he gets the edge there. Also, looking at his filmography…dayum!

      • Medium Meech

        Keith David wins because of his work on Gargoyles. A terribly underrated cartoon from my childhood.

        • And Shadow Man is the most underrated Disney villain

          • AlwaysCC

            i want shadow man and jafar to team up…

            • MzzPeaches

              #SlimThugs with hat games proper.

              • st george doesnt exist

                his villain game was on fleek

          • Cleojonz

            He is my favorite character in that movie.

        • Lea Thrace

          Gargoyles was the ish! I heard talk that a reboot was happening.

          • Duck Tales is rebooting also.

            • AlwaysCC

              they’ve rebooted inspector gadget on netflix…i’m not gonna lie. i’m kind of excited to intro that to my kids lol i hope it’s good…

        • st george doesnt exist

          i forgot, did he voice the lead? One of the first mixed families on tv for the female lead. all i know her live action equal would be fine as hell. black and native.. not falsely claming it lol

  • uNk

    The closing song that was used to honor Paul Walker, a white man was a Wiz track…..i have found my answer

  • Vin Diesel – black and Italian = black.

    • No relation to David Ruffin?

  • SuperStrings

    I’m good with calling it a black movie. I think they can get away with marketing it the way they have because the black folks in it are generally palatable to non black audiences. Replace The Rock with Ving Rhames and replace Vin Diesel with Treach, and no white folks would be seeing it.

    • MzzPeaches

      “replace Vin Diesel with Treach, and no white folks would be seeing it.”

      And by white you mean everybody, cause I don’t wanna see Treach either.

      • Lola

        i…have ruined an ovary holding in this laugh you just gave me!!!! i’m in a meeting about to be fired as phuck messing around with your comment

      • SuperStrings

        lol Ok maybe I went too far. My bad. How about Michael Jai White?

        • st george doesnt exist

          treach looool.. he dont even make them barbershop straight to dvd bin movies anymore

        • MzzPeaches

          Okay, now I can rock w/ Michael Jai White. I’ve been digging him since I first saw him in Spawn and Black Dynamite cracked me up. So I can buy him being a legit action star.

      • There are a lot of hood chicks that would disagree with that remark.

        • MzzPeaches

          Of a certain age, case u ask somebody under 30 who Treach is and you’ll get a “huh?”

  • Brandon Allen

    Is Michelle Rodriguez claiming the afto side of that hyphen?:I saw her Finding your roots episode and it didn’t seem like it.

    • Don’t matter if she claim it. She Black. Her family the same complexion as me.

      • SailorMoon

        Complexion makes no difference.
        How is someone with more than 70% European ancestry and only 20% African ancestry black? More than that why are trying to claim someone as black that does not want to be claimed as black?
        She either identifes as white or mixed raced (which she is) and has the right to.

    • KKay

      I was curious about that myself.

      Latina, yes; afro-Latina, eh? I’m not talking about what she is perceived as, but what she claims herself. Considering some of the comments she’s made in the past , I’m kinda thinking she don’t see herself in that light.

      • Andrea

        Yeah in the film she says “European ick..I wanted to be Native American”
        Her dna came back 72% European
        But to be fair she did say “20% African was awesome”

    • Lisa Harris

      Do Latino/a folks routinely claim the Afro part? Because they all have an Afro part. That’s just the nature of genocide and slavery and the Spanish Empire.

      • Brandon Allen

        They all dont. A lot of island folks are afro and some central and south Americans. But some are as European as any American ‘white” person and some natives the culturrs are are mixed up but everybody isnt.

  • Vin Diesels family was all white, Paul Walkers was black, and then they killed off all Dom’s peoples and he adopted Brians as his own. This is what #racetogether set out to do.

    • AlwaysCC

      stahp it.

  • Lisa Harris

    Funny enough, Latino Rebels is also talking about the “audience diversity” of this movie. I can’t say. I don’t like movies about cars. I don’t care about cars at all. And there have been WAY TOO MANY of these. Seriously. Why do people keep going to see this? I’m often confused by what counts as entertainment – and even more confused about what black folks seem to need in our lives. This just can’t ever be a black film to me.

  • PunchDrunkLove

    I stopped watching half-way through the first of this franchise. Not my kind if movie. I will no doubt see this once it hit On Demand because Paul Walker is in it. I’ll be out if sync but if its any good I might be inspired to go back.

    I’m sooo not a Vin Diesel fan.

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