As is the case with most celebrity news that has absolutely no impact on my life (and by “most celebrity news that has absolutely no impact on my life” I mean “all celebrity news“), the tone of the conversations sparked by Frank Ocean’s “coming out” have proven to be more interesting than the news itself.

For instance, a quick glance at some of the comments sections attached to the articles discussing Ocean last week shows discussions diverging into numerous sub-topics more about Frank Oceanâ„¢ than Frank Ocean. Some of these peripheral conversations were semantics-based (“Since Ocean isn’t a rapper, can he really be considered to be the first known African-American male hip-hop artist to come out?“), some dubious (“It’s interesting that this news breaks a week before his album drops“), and some questioning the story’s relevance (i.e.: “Wait. Who the hell is Frank Ocean, and why should I care about him coming out?“)

To me, though, the most interesting Ocean-related tangent has to do with how his “coming out” has been a virtual Rorschach test for our feelings about sex and sexuality. There aren’t many people who wouldn’t consider a man who has exclusively dated and slept with men for his entire adult life to be gay. But, when things aren’t as cut and dry — and, with Ocean, they’re definitely not — there seems to be more questions about appropriate labels — and the appropriateness of even having a label — than answers.

If the presence of male-on-male sex is your way of measuring whether a man is gay, how would you describe a man who claimed to have fallen in love with another man if they never actually had sex with each other? What if this man was the only man he felt this way about? Basically, what if he wasn’t into men at all but just one particular man? What if he was a teenager when this all happened?

Now, the paragraph above is obviously a not-so-veiled reference to Frank Ocean’s Tumblr post, and I’ve obviously made a few leaps with my interpretation of its content. All I (and anyone else outside of his sphere of influence) know for certain is that he stated that he fell in love with a man when he was 19. Everything else is speculation.

Yet, in Ocean’s case — and in the case of many others — our (and “our” in this case is “Black people’s”) definition of what makes a man gay seems to be amorphous, continually shifting to encompass any behavior outside of what we consider to be the hyper-hetero norm. Fell in love with a man? Gay! Not currently sleeping with multiple women? Gay! Enjoys it when a woman stimulates his anus during sex? Lives in Atlanta? Gay! Not into sports? Gay! Advocates for gay rights? Gay! Enjoyed “Dreamgirls?” Gay! Named “Tyler Perry?” Gay! Wrote a blog critiquing the criteria used to determine what’s gay? Gay!

You know, you can argue that, when it comes to men, the way we come to define “gay” and “straight” (intentionally leaving out bisexual because, well, the Council of Determining Gayness has ruled that bisexual men officially can’t and therefore don’t exist) isn’t at all dissimilar to how we define Black and White. Basically, just as one drop of Black blood makes a person Black, one “non-straight” act or thought makes a man forever gay. Is Frank Ocean in fact gay? I don’t know. I do know, though, that the presence of “one drop” might not be enough for us to make that determination.

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    Frank Ocean is not gay, he has not told the public anything about his sexual orientation.

    • Jess

      This statement is in conflict with itself.

      FO shared his feelings for another man. He denies nothing, he divulged much.

      I love the tone of this article, but sexuality isn’t black and white or on one side of the scale.

      I think people need to abandon their need to label others. Self-identify and move on.

      • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

        Where’s the conflict? It’s a fact that Frank Ocean didn’t identify with anything. I don’t have a problem either way. I said on the other Frank Ocean post that I hope he makes songs for the Queer brown boys who never get anything aimed at them.

        We are in agreement about this obsession with labels. It’s especially ironic that the people who constantly invent these new ones are the most inclined to hate labels, but they can’t help but to boil down their complexities into a handful of catch-all terms.

        • kaybee

          I think Frank Ocean is a great artist, but has anyone heard his song titled, “Forrest Gump”? That says enough..

          • Gaylord Perry

            Oh man that song is almost as gay as Liberace

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “I think people need to abandon their need to label others. Self-identify and move on.”

        nothing wrong with a little labeling now and then. makes things easier

        • Savage

          Absolutely….that’s like “I’ve slept w a few guys in the 00′s but I’m not gay. I’m not into labels”. No, ur gay.

        • Jess

          Hi Malik. If Frank didnt “pick” or revela anything, then the statement “he is not gay” cant be true either. He didnt wave the straight flag.

          I think most people default to “straight” unless proven otherwise, and thats not the case.

          Champ, people never label a little. Have you ever seen anyone go mad with a label maker?! Once they start, they never stop.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “Champ, people never label a little. Have you ever seen anyone go mad with a label maker?! Once they start, they never stop.”

            so labels are like lays? (or is it pringles?)

            • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

              Both

              Lays – You can’t eat just one.

              Pringles – Once you pop, you can’t stop.

              They both apply.

              #fatgirlpost

        • Njnear

          I’m going to agree that labels do make things easier. Im going to make the analogy that labels are similar to scientific equations like the ideal gas law (PV=nRT). There is some error with the expected and reality when using this equation. However, the approximation is still pretty good and makes our understanding of the natural world easier.

    • http://moacn.wordpress.com Sir Farouk

      I definitely agree that we are quick to assign labels to people. I think in the case of Frank Ocean, whatever label we chose to assign to him or he assigns to himself should he ever clarify his sexual orientation plays a secondary role in my opinion to the fact that he might be the first black person kinda associated with hip-hop that has admitted to be somewhat fluid with his sexuality. I m sure there are probably loads of black men out there that have been in love with a man, kissed a man or even slept with a man but would rather take this secret to the grave than admit it. That’s what impresses me about the FO story, he admits to having being in love with a man, that in itself is one small step for FO and one giant step for a more sexually fluid image of the black man.

    • Destinyandquaysia

      uhmmm. listen to his song thinking about u his eyes bawl for a boy be serious

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    It sounds like he admits he’s been in love with men, but doesn’t want to out himself in a ‘gay box’ so to speak. As a society we’re so quick to want to label people. Unless you’re dating him, let him be. My 2cs

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “It sounds like he admits he’s been in love with men, but doesn’t want to out himself in a ‘gay box’ so to speak.”

      men or a man?

  • Elle

    Yes.

  • http://Moniquealicia.wordpress.com MAG

    Absolutely correct. I wrote a similar piece last week. The story is both more complex and simpler than assuming Frank Ocean is gay. His story does give us room to have more progressive discussions about sexuality though. Which is a good thing.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “His story does give us room to have more progressive discussions about sexuality though. Which is a good thing.”

      i agree, but I’m not sure that a lot of people want to have those disucssions

  • Loving Me

    I think it’s easier to accept that a woman can be in love with another woman and not be gay (whether or not there’s been sexual contact) than it is that a man can be. But in my honest opinion, a person who can take it all the way there with a person of the same sex is in fact a gay person, regardless of gender, regardless of how often or how rarely it’s happened that fact remains. I’m one who does not believe in bisexuality. You either are or you are not. Having relations with both does not prove anything but that you are horny. I’ve been attracted to women before, there have been times I’ve seen a chick out and about and said damn that’s a bad chick but in the grand scheme of things, every time I’ve come face to face with possibly furthering the attraction I realize (sometimes a little too late unfortunately) that I’m not sexually attracted to any woman. That extra umph to make me want to keep going just isn’t there and believe me I’ve tried smh (I’m nothing if not persistant). So yes, you can be attracted to and perhaps even fashion yourself “in love” with a person of the same gender and not be gay but when you take it to the next level you become gay whether you want to believe it or admit it to yourself or not.

    • Jess

      How does being bisexual (attracted to both men and women) prove your sexual prowess. Bisexual is not synonymous with promiscuous.

      I think people who do not understand sexuality as a fluid concept are defensive of “traditional” relationship boundaries. “Choose one! ” Bisexual people make a singular, monogamous choice all the time.

      Also, debating and exploring your sexuality (becoming gay is not a thing) should be an ongoing practice, even for people who side with 1 or 10 on the Kinsey scale.

      • Loving Me

        Because in Frank’s case (among others) is that if he is attracted to both that makes him bisexual. I, personally, am of the belief that you can not be bisexual. Call it experience from friends/family members who use that as an excuse to play the field in whichever direction they choose but that is my personal belief. Every woman that I know who has called herself that has leaned towards women when intoxicated but has always ended right back with men when it comes to long term relationships or after they’ve gotten through that awkward growing up period we all go through. Likewise, every man that I’ve known who’s called himself bi, has always ended up with men after going through a “phase” with women usually before coming out the closet fully. We all have to assess our sexuality and I think if every one looks deep down they will find that they may have been “in love” (likely simple infatuation with a person of the same sex. I just think that what you do with that infatuation that determines your sexuality. But again that’s just my opinion

        • http://www.coloredboy.net ChrisAlexander

          I love love love that this idea of not “believing” in bisexuality still exists and that people still feel compelled to express this out loud in public. The gender and sexuality police are working around the clock to rule out folks’ emotions.

          @Loving Me who are you to declare that sexuality is black and white? Who are you to establish the parameters of another person’s sexuality, setting the line over which one falls on one side or another? Because that happened to you has nothing to do with the next questioning/curious person’s journey.

          • Loving Me

            No one but myself, but then again who are you to tell me that I’m wrong. Every single person believes what they believe and you can’t change my mind any more than I’m capable of changing yours. I didn’t condemn and I’m not hateful but that doesn’t change how I feel and believe on the topic either

          • Jess

            @Chris. Yes and thank you! One minor post it, bisexuality is not always a waystation for sexual decision making. It can be the final stop and statement, “I enjoy women and men.”

            As a bisexual woman, I can say that I am decided on the points of each sex that I enjoy and dislike, but I am willing to commit to any PERSON who fits my needs. No confusion here! :)

            *Turns on “Pyrite”*

      • Thai

        “I think people who do not understand sexuality as a fluid concept are defensive of “traditional” relationship boundaries. “Choose one! ” Bisexual people make a singular, monogamous choice all the time.”

        AGREE. Many people still have this attitude where you are either this or that and no in between. The problem is that during the course of discovering oneself, there will be an in between ALWAYS until that person chooses to describe for themself what/who they are. We have to stop placing people in a box!

        • Loving Me

          That sounds great on paper but in actual reality it doesn’t work that way. Despite your best efforts, everyone is placed in some type of box. Everyone has to make choices to put them in this category or the other. Yes it would be great to be able to straddle the fences of every topic and say that you won’t be defined or constrained by society’s need to categorize and place people accordingly but it doesn’t change the fact that one way or another it’s something that happens to everyone. You can’t live life living in the inbetween. Every one of us must make choices as to how we define ourselves. It’s a part of life. And one category is not necessarily better or worse, but we all have to choose at some point in time

          • Jess

            What if I choose and that box is expired? I ask because at the post office they no longer have the colored section, and now I’m lost. :(

          • Thai

            “You can’t live life living in the inbetween. ” At some point it is neccessary. It isnt constant but in betweens happen. And in between phases and riding the fence i think we can conclude are 2 different things.Its like hot and cold. warm and cool would be the in between. depending on the condition to go from hot to cold the warm or the cool would have to be experienced as well. No, life is not all gray areas but it isnt only black and white either.

            • dabigpodina

              Looks like 99%of animals are smarter than a large number of humans when it comes to sexuality. They even know and obey the laws of biology. You may get feelings but at somepoint logic should kick in and say “this ain’t natural” if it dont its a psychological issue. Because your going against biology. You dont have to give in to every feeling and emotion. Its a choice.

          • dabigpodina

            It looks like animals are smarter than humans when it comes to sex. Even they know a penis dont go here, it goes there. And if “bi” men. Were honest with everybody besides there selves, the decision would be made for them. What female u know will be with a switch hitter. I have a theory that being gay IS a form of psychological submission as in the animal kingdom. You. Admit that I ain’t shot because that goes against the human biology, and nobody can argue with that. Some of yall to smart for your own good.

        • Jess

          Thai. And an AGREE right back at you! the OP notes that bisexual titles are used as an excuse to “play the field”. Which field? The dating field? And why are excuses needed to find the best fit for yourself?

          It is a mistake to deny that bisexuality is an identity. It’s as bold as me saying there is no biracial, there is only black or white. Clearly that is not the case whether I believe it or not.

          It is a culture, it takes people time,effort and emotion to explore their full selves and it’s poor form to look at a community of people and say, “nope”.

          • Thai

            “It is a mistake to deny that bisexuality is an identity. It’s as bold as me saying there is no biracial, there is only black or white. Clearly that is not the case whether I believe it or not.”

            EXACTLY. And that time, emotion, and effort would be…the in between no? This is why we go through phases. And we do place ppl in boxes we are all guilty but we shouldn then force or expect that person to climb into that box because of our perception of THEIR situation/experience

      • Jenny Browngirl

        Hello! Promiscuity is what bisexuals are. LOL do you even know what that word means? The same word defines anyone who has sex with more than one partner. (Which includes most of mandkind) I thought Frank Ocean was a singer/songwriter. Why is he even mentioning his sexuality anyway?! If he wants to advocate for a centain group other than musicians then find another type of employment. If not shut up and make music! I never mention what my sex preference is because it’s not needed. If he wants to write music for same sex partners who cares! If you don’t like it don’t buy it! Frank…can we just get the party started? Love the music brah!!!!

    • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

      This is objectively wrong.

      • Dignan

        Which part?

        • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

          Sexual orientation isn’t up for discussion. People have been bisexual in every single society since the dawn of man. It’s not up for debate or personal preference. Someone people are attracted to two genders. There isn’t any picking sides involved. That’s like something that once you’re in a relationship with say Dave Barber, you orientation doesn’t change to Dave Barber-uality. You can still attracted to other men or women and so on. Orientation isn’t based on who you’re with. If it was, then everyone who is single is asexual.

          • Inqueerie

            OMG! will someone give this man his effin gold star please? Cause he just restored my faith in humanity that we do in fact have the ability to be rationale, thoughtful, and downright scientific in our thinking and analyzing BEFORE we speak. I was a lil concerned after summa what I read when we talked about Mr. O last week!

          • Jess

            YES. This >>> “Orientation isn’t based on who you’re with. If it was, then everyone who is single is asexual. ”

            I’m posting this on my wall. Made my day!!

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “Orientation isn’t based on who you’re with. If it was, then everyone who is single is asexual.”

            i want to agree with this. but, i also think that a person who has nothing but same sex partners — even if they’re “straight” in mind and spirit — is gay. when it comes to determining orientation, who you choose to sleep with does matter

            • http://snarkyasiwant2b.wordpress.com Snarkychic

              If you say that wouldn’t that mean the act of sex determines sexuality. I have to agree with Malik that the act of sex or who you chose to be in a relationship does not define your sexuality. Sexuality, in my mind, is defined by who you are sexually attracted to not who you sleep with. For instance a person, not asexual, who’s never had sex or been in a relationship with anyone falls on the sexuality spectrum somewhere. If we define sexuality but the act of sex we limit or box individuals into categories that may or may not be appropriate.

    • http://www.undergrounddanceworks.wordpress.com Udwrocks

      Oh well since you don’t believe in bisexuality then it must not exist. Except there’s one major problem with that logic…ME! ^_^

      • Loving Me

        And that could be true for you, I can’t deny what you feel or how you define yourself. But again for me, based on my experience, it’s not a reality. It’s a fantasy where you can have the best of both worlds and never have to choose, but unfortunately at some point in life we all have to ultimately make a choice. It’s just how it goes. Maybe I’m wrong but I can’t speak for others I can only speak on what I feel and believe until life proves me wrong. So far it hasn’t

        • http://www.mindinfection.wordpress.com UDWRocks

          Now I’m so sure if someone said that your own sexuality were a choice hellfire would rain down and the earth would crack. What makes you think you’re so special that only monosexuals were born and anything else is a conscious choice?

          • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

            GREAT question.

          • dabigpodina

            Biology. And psychology seems to have made the choice. Wouldn’t you have to trick yourself into thinking anal feels good?. Because my guess is that it just feels wrong off the bat.(no pun intended). Its a choice. And with all the feelings we experience in a day, dont we have a choice which ones we express? If we were to act on all our fellings where would we be? What Im saying is that people should have a certain amount of self control. And if that dont work,biology will tell y

          • dabigpodina

            Biology will tell you and has made the choice. We dont have to give into every feeling we have. If we did we’d all be dead jail unemployed or other uncomfortable places. We all show some self control everyday. Wouldn’t you have to trick yourself into thinking a n 0 l feels good because your body would immediately say this ain’t right.

    • http://moacn.wordpress.com Sir Farouk

      The way I see it, bisexuality definitely exists and instead of being a way post to the either or of being gay or straight, I feel that perhaps bisexuality might be some form of evolved stage of sexual evolution and fluidity. As an engineer, I would think that a machine that goes from being able to handle one type of fuel and goes to being able to handle 2 types of fuel is somewhat evolving and has more range in its performance. Please dont take me too seriously when I say, Bisexuality is the next stage in human sexual evolution (Professor X from X-men voice)

  • http://www.coloredboy.net ChrisAlexander

    the key point people keep forgetting is that beyond his initial, beautifully written, vague post, EVERYTHING is speculation, and a direct result of us/you motherfuckers putting your own emotions into the matter. Who is to say he’s rejecting a “gay box”? Has he called himself gay? Has he put a label on it? Does he still late men? Does he still fuck 3 women a day? Nobody knows. That this has mushroomed into THIS is baffling.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      lol, i’m just amazed you made it past moderation

  • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

    “If the presence of male-on-male sex is your way of measuring whether a man is gay, how would you describe a man who claimed to have fallen in love with another man if they never actually had sex with each other? What if this man was the only man he felt this way about? Basically, what if he wasn’t into men at all but just one particular man?”

    And on the flip side, going by this logic, does that mean that a man who has always identified with gay falls in love with a woman… does that make his straight? I just always found it interesting that the reverse would never be true. He’d still be seen as gay. It’s as if gay is the “defining” sexuality when it comes to identification.

    And I’m throwing this out here as someone very much lost within society’s obsession (maybe obsession isn’t the right word… maybe “complacency” would be better) with labels… knowingly so… even subconsciously so. And I believe we all are… despite how forward thinking we seem to be. Still… I have to point out how… interesting the above point is.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      “And on the flip side, going by this logic, does that mean that a man who has always identified with gay falls in love with a woman… does that make his straight? I just always found it interesting that the reverse would never be true. He’d still be seen as gay. It’s as if gay is the “defining” s.e.x.uality when it comes to identification.”

      This makes all the sense. (thinking out loud here…) Hetero interactions are needed to keep the species alive. I suppose one could argue at this point we have other ways of getting women pregnant and people could always still have s.e.x. just to have a baby…but if you are identifying yourself as gay you are identifying yourself as someone who won’t procreate. I guess that is worth “defining”…

      • http://theothersideofphlyy.blogspot.com Phlyy Girl

        “but if you are identifying yourself as gay you are identifying yourself as someone who won’t procreate”

        But I don’t believe that people who identify themselves as gay are saying that they have no interest in procreation.
        You yourself mentioned the many options and biological advances that are available now to anyone who wants to have a child, single, married, straight or gay.
        There is a member of my family who identifies herself as a clear cut homosexual, no wavering and she is currently pregnant with twins, and achieved this the old fashioned way.

        I believe that as with any label, people add their own connotations and meanings to it based on what they personally believe and what their experience may have been with others who share that label.

    • mena

      “And I’m throwing this out here as someone very much lost within society’s obsession (maybe obsession isn’t the right word… maybe “complacency” would be better) with labels… knowingly so… even subconsciously so. And I believe we all are… despite how forward thinking we seem to be.” Exactly. No matter how forward thinking we may think we are, we usually aren’t as forward thinking as we want others to believe. EVERYONE PLACES PEOPLE INTO BOXES. To say you don’t is lying.

      • demondog06

        “EVERYONE PLACES PEOPLE INTO BOXES. To say you don’t is lying.”

        thank you mena…

        i love it that people can go online and play that role as if they are so evolved and so beyond other mortals, that they do not judge others….which is all bullshit!

        we all judge and label…i don’t care how progressive you think that you are

        for instance…what if i were to say that i love so fluidly that i love to “love” animals?
        or i have a love affair with dirty diapers?
        or to not be that extreme lets say i was dating one of you vsb’s seriously, and i come out to you with some “i’ve been in love with other men” lets keep it a hunned and twenty here. i’d get all kinds of side-eyes from you….

        • mena

          My heart would drop if a man i was attracted to/started dating ever said that he had been in love with a man.

      • Ms.TB

        +1 on calling BS to VSBers and VSSers (and other folk) being above judging…yes we all do it and probably do it more than we think.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “It’s as if gay is the “defining” sexuality when it comes to identification.”

      once you go Black/gay, you never go back and shit

      • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        LOL, seems like.

  • http://www.aworknprogress.com Diana

    By society’s terms and the narrowest of standards? Yes, he would be considered gay. There is not a lot of room, leeway or concession made for men to explore or experiment with their feelings for other men. And I’m not just speaking sexually, but emotionally as well. Unless you’re like a 19th century French poet, even how men are “allowed” or “supposed” to love in general, let alone one another is pretty fixed. And what I saw in that letter were universal themes of love and heartbreak. There is this Sex and the City episode, I think after Mr. Big marries that other chick and they’re talking about soul mates and Charlotte says something like maybe we can be each other’s soul mates and men will be the extra. Women are allowed and expected to have deep, loving friendships that fill voids and nurture souls, whereas men are broadbrushed as incapable of such or shamed for even considering it. I think Ocean’s letter gives people the space to question and redefine meaningful relationships along with the universal desire to be loved.

    • http://theothersideofphlyy.blogspot.com Phlyy Girl

      “Women are allowed and expected to have deep, loving friendships that fill voids and nurture souls, whereas men are broadbrushed as incapable of such or shamed for even considering it. I think Ocean’s letter gives people the space to question and redefine meaningful relationships along with the universal desire to be loved”

      All. Of. This.
      That was the main thing that I took from Frank’s letter. Not that he had loved a man, but that he had loved a PERSON and did not receive the love that he invested in return.
      I think that society is not constructed to accept someone who expresses ideals outside of what is considered normal. Everyone was enamored with Frank’s music when he made his mainstream debut because they could identify with the love songs being sung to a woman because love songs by men are ALWAYS sung to a woman.
      Now that there is the possiblity that some of the songs may have been to men, it creates confusion and disorder because it is not what they are used to.
      The thing that gets me, is that I don’t listen to love songs based on who I think the recipients are. I listen to love songs because of the feelings and emotions they evoke. As a matter of fact, its SO much easier for me to sing “Thinking About you” now that I don’t have to conciously change the ‘girls’ to “boys” when I sing.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “…but that he had loved a PERSON and did not receive the love that he invested in return.”

        i think the love was reciprocated. it just wasnt acknowledged

  • Dignan

    The fact is that sexuality can be very complex for some people, and just having labels of “straight,” “gay,” and “bi” just doesn’t cover it sometimes.

    The Kinsey Scale goes from 0 to 6, where a 0 is exclusively hetero and a 6 is exclusively gay. Most people are not exactly a 0 or exactly a 6. There’s a lot of room in there for the kinds of thoughts and feelings that many of us don’t like to talk about with others.

    I’d like to propose a 0 to 10 scale, wherein people could go around and say things like “I’m a 1.7,” and while we wouldn’t know *exactly* what that entails, we would at least have a decent idea where their orientation is.

    Apologies for length.

    (That’s what he said.)

    • Dignan

      Whoops. That wasn’t very long at all, it just felt that way when I was working on it.

      That’s what she said.

      • http://www.shesoflyy.wordpress.com Muze

        LOL at these that’s what she saids.

        • nillalatte

          lmao… so true. We know where your mind is tonight! lol

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          Damn, you beat me to it.
          I was ready to go all the way in… *pause* LMAO!!!

          • nillalatte

            LOL… all the way? Like you had enough to reach the bottom. ;) lmao

            • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

              That’s enough of that, young lady! LMAO!

    • nillalatte

      In the end, what does it matter if you are gay or straight, except to the people you might sleep with? Only then should it matter because you want to know if that person is on the same page, right?

      • Dignan

        Whether it matters or not, it’s still always going to be a topic of conversation. It just is. If we use my 0 to 10 scale, we can at least be a little more accurate in defining our orientation when that topic comes up.

        • Jess

          According to wiki 1 – 5 is bisexual. Since bisexuality doesn’t exist (TBC), does that mean this is an inception like reality?

      • http://www.twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

        “Only then should it matter because you want to know if that person is on the same page, right?”

        Hmm, I always thought a good way to avoid being a homocide victim in the dating/relationship game is to be honest and on the same page as your partner(s). Sexuality is like choosing pizza toppings. Say sex is the pizza, we want it hot and steamy no matter when it is ordered. Even though sometimes pizza tastes better cold the next day ;) We experiement a little to find that perfect combo for the individual. Whether or not you like a plain cheese pizza, half veggie-half bacon, or pineapple and ham I think it is important to make sure the person sharing pizza with you likes the same toppings. If not, might as well order different pizzas instead of trying to change someones preference or conviencing yourself you can learn to like something.

        • nillalatte

          You TOTALLY lost me with all the pizza toppings, but you did manage to make me hungry. And, that’s perfectly fine AFTER sex! BTW, I like deluxe pizza toppings because I want all the veggies and the meat! lmao

          • http://www.twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

            HAHaHAha! I’m still at work and missed lunch. As a lactose-intolerant pizza is my kyrptonite.

            • nillalatte

              “As a lactose-intolerant pizza is my kyrptonite.”

              Well, that’s just gay. ;) lol

            • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

              Lactose intolerant pizza? That makes about as much sense as a non-alcoholic beer or sugar free candy!

              • demondog06

                or sugar free ice cream and thc free weed!

                • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

                  Oh hell no!!!!

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “I want all the veggies and the meat! lmao”

            that’s what she said

    • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

      *approves this post.

  • http://www.coloredboy.net ChrisAlexander

    I love love love that this idea of not “believing” in bisexuality still exists and that people still feel compelled to express this out loud in public. The gender and sexuality police are working around the clock to rule out folks’ emotions.

    @Loving Me who are you to declare that sexuality is black and white? Who are you to establish the parameters of another person’s sexuality, setting the line over which one falls on one side or another? Because that happened to you has nothing to do with the next questioning/curious person’s journey.

    • mena

      If someone can’t express their beliefs and open up a dialogue then there is a problem. So b/c my opinion goes against being “open minded” i am to keep my opinion to myself? How does this make sense? This is the reason why we can’t even have an honest discussion about race in this country b/c as soon as someone goes against what is liberal and politically correct, people start calling the person close minded and an idiot.

      Allow for those to express their opinions and then try to make them see your point of view without being overly critical. This will go an extremely long way.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “If someone can’t express their beliefs and open up a dialogue then there is a problem. So b/c my opinion goes against being “open minded” i am to keep my opinion to myself? How does this make sense? This is the reason why we can’t even have an honest discussion about race in this country b/c as soon as someone goes against what is liberal and politically correct, people start calling the person close minded and an idiot.”

        ***nodding head***

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        “This is the reason why we can’t even have an honest discussion about race in this country b/c as soon as someone goes against what is liberal and politically correct, people start calling the person close minded and an idiot.”

        You mean a person like Obsidian? (Where is he, by the way?!)

        • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

          WHY FOR ART THOU CALLING HIS NAMETH?????? WHY????

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            He was the first person I thought of when I saw that. Besides, I kind of miss him saying “adjourn your arses”, LMAO!

            I say we give him the Beetlejuice treatement. Say his name three times and he will appear- you first…

        • mena

          There is a difference b/w discussing and getting all mightier than and trying to make people feel stupid since they can’t quote books and statistics at the drop of a hat. In other words…being a complete douche.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            But…but…but…Jon Stewart does the same thing and he gets ratings…

            *passes the mic to Mena for her response*

            • mena

              *clears throat*

              He is witty, funny, articulate, and will listen to others opinions even if he doesn’t agree with them. He can make fun of the people he is interviewing and himself at the same time. Jon Stewart is brilliant at his job.

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

                He is witty, funny, articulate, and will listen to others “opinions even if he doesn’t agree with them. He can make fun of the people he is interviewing and himself at the same time. Jon Stewart is brilliant at his job.”

                yeah, and you could say the same thing about rush limbaugh. I think “progressive/liberal” people to tend to only give the benefit of the doubt to people who share their viewpoints

                • mena

                  Nope. Rush yells. Stewart has actually had O’Reily on his show at least twice and the two actually like each other. The go at each other but their is still a respect there. Stewart, though liberal, still voices his view with the people he is interviewing in a very tactful way. Sorry but you can place Rush in that category.

                  • mena

                    *can’t*

      • Eps

        My issue is when people have opinions that can in no way, shape, or form be supported by facts. Then your opinion is wrong. Dead wrong. For example, bisexuality is a fact. 100% stone cold fact. Like the fact that is world is real-type fact. So any opinion that states otherwise must be coming out of a Michelle Bachmann textbook.

        I think it is fine to challenge an opinion as long as you don’t mind your own being challenged.