The Only Takeaway From The ‘Insecure’ Finale Is That Lawrence Is No Catch » VSB

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The Only Takeaway From The ‘Insecure’ Finale Is That Lawrence Is No Catch

HBO screenshot

 

This piece was originally published on November 30th, 2016 on The Frisky.

The sight of black men cheering for Lawrence during Sunday night’s Insecure season finale gave me heart palpitations. Men gathered around the TV to howl like it was a NBA Championship game when Lawrence (Jay Ellis) had revenge sex with bank teller Tasha (Dominque Perry). It was a low moment for the #LawrenceHive who see themselves in the unambitious “good guy” that they think Lawrence is. I’m…embarrassed for them. And because any time men are loud and wrong they must be humbled, I’m now in the unfortunate position of having to defend Issa (Issa Rae), who is almost as insufferable as Molly (Yvonne Orji). Here we go.

As one tweeter put it, black women and men haven’t been this divided since Sporty Thievz’s “No Pigeons” response to TLC’s “No Scrubs” phenom. It’s ugly out here. But my duty is to make sure we all walk away from Season One holding these truths to be self-evident: Lawrence is not a catch. He did not win.

That revenge D Lawrence gave Tasha were the backstrokes of a man frustrated from years of unemployment. It was the concentration of a man who wants someone to pay for his broken heart. It was the pounding of a man looking for a new home for his pitiful pillow. It was the Mary J Blige equivalent of “I’ve done enough cryin’, cryin’, cryin’.” Had he been giving it to Issa like this the entire five years maybe she would’ve been all, “Daniel who?” Because who really cares about a damn high school crush. But he wasn’t stroking her like that, so here we are.

Early on in the season, we learn that Lawrence has been “getting his shit together for four years.” He’s moping around the house because his job search turns up fruitless. (Been there, done that, wore the t-shirt.) Shit happens. The typical man — or one worthy of being with — would see his girl out-hustling him and get motivated real fast to get to the money. Uber driver by night, designing websites by day, bartending, something. Not Lawrence though. He’s too good for the jobs that aren’t a good fit because he has a degree. When he finally does take a job to bring in some coins, it’s at Best Buy. I mean, it’s a job, but he may as well sit home to collect unemployment because that hourly wage check is being gobbled up by taxes. Best Buy, dude?

An actual “good guy” who feels inadequate because his finances aren’t in order at least tries to go the extra mile at home. Laundry, dishes, Fabuluoso’ing the bathroom down, cooking, anything that doesn’t make you look like a shiftless bum. Not Lawrence though. He sulks. Lawrence is too bool to get an edge up. He can’t even remember Issa’s birthday. An unemployed broke boy forgetting your birthday is unforgivable. Even if he couldn’t spend any money, it should’ve been the most creatively sentimental celebration he could muster up. He has nothing but time to visit Dollar Tree and Michael’s for some arts and crafts. Issa should’ve cheated sooner!

Somehow his lack of ambition landed him a full-time job with benefits that he almost turned down to work on his app until Issa brought him back to the reality that is BILLS. If he didn’t get his app off the ground during unemployment then too bad so sad. Entrepreneurship costs. You have to fund said ideas. And this is the character with whom [y’all] wanna place your faith?

We are not going to act like Lawrence was a desirable partner. Dude refused to get a line up for a job interview. His level of ain’t shitness was written on the walls.

To be clear, Issa ain’t off the hook either. All jokes aside, cheating is a selfish, shitty thing to do. Personally, I believe repetitive cheating is a character flaw. But for the purposes of the show, Issa needed to cheat. Issa did not have the courage to walk away from a man she clearly didn’t want. She specifically didn’t know if she had the fortitude to deal with an unmotivated man who wasn’t giving it to her “face down, ass up” in the way she daydreamed Daniel (Y’lan Noel) would. Eventually Issa scratched that itch with Daniel for her own selfish reasons. And I love that a woman was able to be selfish for once, that her cheating challenged the idea that women only cheat if we’re emotionally invested in the side dude.

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Issa Rae discussed the importance of having Issa’s character cheating not be about Lawrence in that moment.

The idea of a woman cheating is so bewildering for a lot of men; like it’s a huge mark of betrayal for them in a way that’s kind of a double standard…[An executive] strongly believed that women could not come back from cheating and I remember thinking how unfair that was, because I watched shows and movies where women forgive men for cheating all…the…time. It was also important to me to have Issa cheat precisely at a moment where Lawrence wasn’t necessarily at fault; where it wasn’t about him, it was about her. I think we always think that a man has to do something for a woman to cheat, and this was very much about Issa and her decision to be “aggressively active” for once. She just failed to think about what she would lose in the process.

Sometimes the game is the game.

Essentially, Issa’s inability to communicate the years of unspoken issues was the relationship’s downfall, at least partly. The hard truth is she didn’t really want Lawrence. At the very least, she was uncertain if he was the forever guy, and she should’ve broken up with him to embark on an exploratory phase. Instead, she convinced herself she wanted Lawrence because a woman’s worth is always tied to having a man. Her own best friend told her she didn’t deserve Lawrence. Issa was beaten over the head with the idea that Lawrence was a “good man” so she’d best be appreciative of scraps lest she find herself alone with a dozen cats. As if being alone is the worst possible thing that could happen to a woman. This societal pressure on women to find and keep a man is why women settle all the time because it’s better to have a piece of a man with potential than to be alone. That’s bullshit. Had Issa been encouraged to break up with her man to figure things out, just maybe she wouldn’t be on Daniel’s studio couch having itches scratched.

The most predictable storyline of the season was Lawrence having sex with Tasha — the one who listened and encouraged his ideas. Because all a lazy unmotivated man needs is a woman to build him up. Yet men are never expected to build women up. It was also predictable because men don’t tend to handle breakups like women. Women emote, men ho. He was going to have sex with somebody shortly after the breakup regardless. Was he wrong for hooking up with Tasha? Not really. Was it a fuckboy move? Absolutely. It was done vindictively with the intent to hurt Issa when she finds out.

Lawrence-Issa & Co. were all insufferable with the exception of Kelli (Natasha Rothwell) and Jared (Langston Kerman). All of them exhibited trash behavior, so Lawrence isn’t on that You Are Nobody’s Catch float all alone. I’m team #everybodyistrash, but couldn’t miss the opportunity to pump the hurt boys’ brakes about their beloved Lawrence.

The visceral reaction we’re all having to Issa and Lawrence’s relationship drama is because it represents the messiness of life and love whether we relate to the characters or not. Perhaps the mark of a good show is the ability to get viewers invested in the characters enough to talk about their decisions as if it’s real life. If that was the goal the show succeeded.

The Lawrence and Issa saga challenges our ideas about gender in relationships. It specifically points to the double standard of cheating. A woman cheating deserves revenge while a man’s cheating deserves forgiveness. A man is always “just fucking them girls he was gon’ get right back.” Never do we see a man encouraged to take back a cheating woman. If Lawrence had cheated and then Issa had revenge sex, men would’ve protested the show with the kind of rage they displayed over Olivia Pope sleeping with a white president. Issa did what men have always done, and Lawrence is nobody’s “good man” worth rooting for. He was a boring birthday-forgetting bum who barely pulled himself together in the ninth hour. Unfortunately, a day late and a dollar short has consequences. A guy who was a catch would’ve known that.

Bené Viera

Bené Viera is a Brooklyn based journalist who writes about culture, race and gender. Her work has appeared in GQ, Vulture, ESSENCE, Cosmopolitan, ESPN, VIBE, Glamour and ELLE. When she’s not writing she’s stanning for Nas. Follow her on Twitter at @beneviera.

  • inYOface

    This is the best “look back” I have ever had the privilege of reading. Thank you Bene’!

  • Sigma_Since 93
    • Nova’s strident self-righteousness is now matched by her sisters hubris.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        It’s a trait that clearly runs in the family:

        Nova and Charlie lord over everyone
        Aunt Vi lords over Ralph Angel, his Bae, and Hollywood
        Ralph Angel lords over his Bae
        Blue lords over his doll

        I’m digging how gangsta Charlie got to get that money. The show title make much more sense now.

        • Jennifer

          Charley was pure manipulation last night. It was beautiful. I know it’s going to blow up in her face when it comes to her personal relationships, but I loved watching her version of The Art of the Deal last night.

        • Poor Micah was like “my mama and daddy are full of it.”

  • Lissen,

    Bene, you have articulated this in a way I’ve haven’t been able to -up to this point. Like I was telling my best good friend Other Guy 13… I have been Molly, Issa, Tasha (minus getting my back blown out) & Lawrence (minus being unemployed). Now, I am just a wise old owl, scoping the scene.

    I see it from all POVs. Lawrence & Issa are both at fault here.

    But where do we go from here?

    • Sigma_Since 93

      “where do we go from here”

      *pulls out the old Where Do We Go From Here 45 and does his best Johnny Gill impression*

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          11th grade. This album was fire.

          • You know it! Dru Hill was an important piece to my high school soundtrack

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              Damn you bringing back memories I don’t need right now

                • RewindingtonMaximus

                  Sing How Deep Is Your Love and we square.

                  • I will and with the choreography!

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

                      I might have to propose, don’t play with me!

                    • Lissen dru hill, 112. carl thomas, aaliyah, dave hollister and a host of others served as the soundtrack to my teens & early 20s. And the fact I used to learn choreography from all videos growing up doesnt help either. Its the cheer/dance in me.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      I’m so seriously giggling on the inside.

                      Moms had the Columbia House subscription. As big of a herb as I was back in the day, NOBODY could test my music game. I had all of the hot CDs first.

                      I’d sit by the radio with a pen & pad, and write the lyrics to each of the songs. Aaliyah, Total, SWV, Mary, 702, Ginuwine…I couldn’t dance for sh*t but I had those songs DOWN PACT.

                      So you dance, I’ll sing…let’s get it!

                    • omg I thought i was on the only one who did this…

                      oh HEYYYYYYY lol

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      Nope not even a little bit.

                      I’m geeked now, found somebody equally nerdy to me on here.

                    • Yeah pretty much. ?

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      For other people to stop making up pretend narratives to the story and look at their own lives.

      Most of the discussions about the show have been muffled by people deflecting their messy a$$ lives as to what is wrong or right about Issa & Lawrence, without actually acknowledging that ALL OF US out here are some really f-d up people doing some real f-d up stuff and looking for someone to hold the bag until something good comes along instead of facing facts.

    • Brandon Allen

      Lying is bad. All the other stuff is people projecting.

      • Lying is horrible.

        My number 1 rule with folks: Keep it 100 with me, idk if it hurts my feelings. Hurt feelings are apart of life.

    • Other_guy13

      And as I have said before…neither are a catch. Both needed to grow up. Not saying she was a bad woman, but she needs to handle things like a woman. She was handling it like she was still in college. You not happy then bounce…holding on helps no one. As for L-Savage…he also needed to grow up. It’s okay to follow your dreams but basically having someone take care of you because you wanna get your dream job is unfair. Go home to mama basement and let that girl live her life and get yo ish together. He let his pride get in the way of both of their progress and they both got hurt as a result. They will be okay…but L-Savage is still the better person in this situation. Sue me. http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/880friends_0.gif

  • Kas

    I would like to help Stoke the flames of the comment section today. #teammemyself&I

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2b07f5bf0c25202f63e92e72a094d6035e05f2fa05169fc1f3a3d67dd55507aa.jpg

    • Scorpiogoddess??

      True. Very.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      This aint enough given that it’s fact.

    • cyanic

      Can we define a good man? Because some men assume if they’re not a beater or a cheater they’re automatically a top prize.

      • You better say it…
        I have an ex that thought that since he wasnt going up side my head & talking crazy he was a prized possession. GTFOH

        • cyanic

          The standards are too low for anyone to be labeled good because they’re not awful.

      • Conrad Bess

        What defines a good man to you?

        The current definition revolves around a man that can provide, stay loyal and be responsible in his relationships and to his kids (if any). The revolution in economics has women rapidly becoming more self sufficient (knowledge based economy vs. labour).

        A man’s self worth is usually defined by his ability to provide and is still judged as such (see Lawrence). If he can’t do that, then what “good” is he?

        • Wise Old Owl

          What is a Good Woman…the absurd assumption is that 99.9% of Black Women are Good and 19.4% of Black Men are decent…It is amusing that everyone regardless of gender, thinks that they are “Good” and a great catch for potential suitors, mates, jumpoffs and life partners…just because one has ovaries does not mean that one is good…or bad…

        • cyanic

          When a man genuinely cares he listens and immediately does what’s in his reach to correct what he assumes you want correcting. That’s my short definition of a good man. Someone who wants to make sense of meeting your needs. Almost like superman without having to be a hothead or an egomaniac. In return he wants your loyalty your physical love and your support helping him reach his goals.

          • MsSula

            Simple and succinct. I concur.

          • PhlyyPhree

            “When a man genuinely cares he listens and immediately does what’s in his reach to correct what he assumes you want correcting.”

            You could have stopped right there.
            Listens
            Corrects

            That’s it. *I almost gave a half point off for “assuming” things, but I’m going to assume, he’s doing it with the best of intentions so he’s still all good.

            • Akhibrass

              “Listens,
              Corrects”

              That’ sounds like a child.

          • Brooklyn_Bruin

            In which case, Lawrence took Issa’s naggin…encouragement and took a job beneath him.

            And look where it got him.
            He was Best Buying It, and she still made it about herself.

          • Akhibrass

            Is that why we are in relationships, to have someone meet our needs? I’m sure we can hire someone to do that.

            • cyanic

              Less money spent when they wanna do it just because.

        • This plus….

          back blowing.

          Just saying.

      • Kas

        A good man, cares about your wants needs and desires, and puts in the effort to help you realize as many as you can.

    • wayment…

      So question. How long is a woman supposed to wait for her man to get it together— WITHOUT A RING? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1e259c57f9bf58ddedcbf220e85330820485274d97112754ff44d8dcdbe1a04b.gif

      • TJ

        Questions that need answers.

      • Freebird

        When does the woman decide the ring is more important and bounce?

      • Other_guy13

        Please don’t bait me…I got situations

      • Kas

        Let’s be clear, I’m just here to stir up shitz. If you are looking for logical discourse, you haven’t been following my comments over the past few months.

        • I have…Just stirring the pot

      • Buster Cannon

        Why not just leave and find someone that’s in a better position? I don’t get this mentality of hanging around waiting for people to change, life’s too short for all that.

        • Scorpiogoddess??

          Tell em for me oo , Pastor Buster.

        • Freebird

          It’s cowardly. And it keeps you from owning what you have chosen.

          • Ari

            Cowardly best describe’s Issa’s behavior. I thought the show did a great job of illustrating this in the first couple of episodes when she continued avoiding Lawrence and later Daniel.

            • PhlyyPhree

              She was a beast at ducking and dodging those calls/texts. I’m not even mad at that.

        • Its called, being supportive and being invested in someone.

          You really have to weigh out all of your options. I would’ve bounce long time ago. But, I really believe life is too short to be unhappy…been there, done that. I’ll take my happiness, sanity and good chex over being unhappy.

          • She clearly didn’t want to be with him. She was there because she invested time. Not out of love, compatibility, or to build a future

          • MsSula

            She was not supportive. like at all.

          • PhlyyPhree

            Be supportive but don’t be a fool.
            Everyone has a point or line or limit where they say “If X doesn’t happen/If person doesn’t get it together/etc, then I’m going to leave”
            The majority of people get to that line and then treat it like a car and see how far it will REALLY go on E.
            We have to get over this notion that because you invested time or resources or support or attention, then you can’t leave if you don’t feel you’re getting a return on your investment.

            • Yes to allathis

            • NonyaB?

              PhlyyPhree!!

              Where and how’ve you been, ma’am?

              • PhlyyPhree

                Hello there darlin. I’ve been around. I still stop by and read almost daily. I just haven’t been feeling well so I haven’t had much to say.

                • Scorpiogoddess??

                  Awwww!!!!! Feeeeeel better. Prayers up ( sang to the tune of bottoms up, bottoms up)

                  • PhlyyPhree

                    LMaoooo!!!
                    THank you. I appreciate the prayers and the tunes.

                • NonyaB?

                  Sorry to hear it! Wishing you better health soon.

                  • PhlyyPhree

                    ‘Preciate that

            • Cherron

              That’s exactly what most people do. That stick with the devil you know attitude been keeping people together for centuries.

            • I definitely agree. I know with my divorce that I had to write off a lot of stuff in terms of time and cash. That said, it’s a risk you take with marriage. There are no guarantees.

            • Akhibrass

              Maybe we should stop thinking of humans the way we think of property.

              • PhlyyPhree

                Probably.
                I dont think the average person goes into a relationship with the intention of “commodifying” the other person, but it happens.
                My comment wasn’t referencing that though.

        • BrownKitty289

          Meh…Well not everyone’s perfect.
          When you find that person that fits next to you (no drama, no issues)
          Its hard to leave especially if he has goals! Besides the dating world is scary!
          No matter how attractive/smart/ideal you think you are not everyone cares enough to stay w/ you past 90 days. *shrugs* #realtalk

      • Kas

        Short answer, until he is ready.

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        How long is a woman supposed to keep questioning her life with a man?

        Rings, forever life….it’s all trash.

        What do yall really want? Companionship? To grow with someone and build a future? What do you think it takes? How do you get it? What sacrifices do you make? What are you prepared to do when things go awry? What does a woman do when she’s the one messing up? Are yall prepared for the worst & the best at the same time?

        Might just be me…but ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS should come before worrying about rings. Because I’m not knocking women given how bad the history between us, love, & marriage and relationships has been for quite some time…we have so much work to do.

        But I just don’t get where this notion that YOU ARE FORCED to wait for your life to make sense comes in. It’s not 1920 anymore. If you with someone and you’re not feeling what they are doing…the door works. Nothing is stopping yall. At all. You are free. So free to go. It will hurt like h e l l, but just like a bad job, leaving feels so good.

        • I want it all.
          But, I am not willing to sacrifice happiness knowing i can go find it elsewhere. Because Lord knows if we even think about leaving and mention something – men will try to talk us out of it. Baby imma change, bae imma this, babe imma that. Miss me with that. I speak & i dont see any change im bouncing.

          Issa was horrible at communication. POINT BLANK PERIOD And she should’ve walked away instead of worrying about what others think or what she was going to do. They were both comfortable, and they loved being comfortable together.

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            I fully agree.

            I stated before I feel for Lawrence, but I was Issa. Horrible at communication, didn’t say what I needed to say, and destroyed everything around me in fits of momentary selfishness while believing I was a good person…only to hurt the person I cared for the most in a way I can’t take back. That’s why I feel for Lawrence, because he didn’t deserve the END to be the way it was.

            But it’s on us. If we don’t like something, we make the decision. Nobody else will. so for all the men trying to talk you out of leaving..your heart knows the truth even if you’re too scared to listen.

        • PhlyyPhree

          I found this just for you and all the rightness you just spewed. How I pray someone will hear this word.
          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6edba76e7012ce52ae7250548b6001335610a2f11a64a4d98b7c93a94bcccbe7.gif

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            lmaoooooooooooooooooooo

            Yo. I miss the fuck out of you son.

            • PhlyyPhree

              Don’t miss me silly. I’m always here cheering in the rafters. I’m working on it though. Alllllmooosssssstttt there :) Thanks for the vm too. You da best and you ain’t even know it.

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                You my homie. I love the sh*t out of you bro. I do want to blow up your phone but I wanted to respect the space until the right time, especially because my issues had me up & down like the Dow Jones the last few months so I can’t talk.

                I know you’ll be close by always.

                • PhlyyPhree

                  This is why I have you saved as Fuzzy Wuzzy J***
                  Complete with emojis and all.
                  Now say something rude before I go drink my lunch. Again.

                  • RewindingtonMaximus

                    First off you said drink your lunch so ewwww……

                    But I can’t talk cause I’ve been eating salad for breakfast for 2 months straight .

                    Phree…what have we become?

                    • PhlyyPhree

                      I was talking about alcohol. I have no clue what you on. Trying to be healthy before January and sh it like you too good for the “New year, new me” crew. TUH!

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      MADAM!

                      Stop playing, lemme get that whiskey ASAP…sitting here eating oatmeal & sh*t like my back is against the wall

                      Man the doc told me I weight 239, I’ve taken craps heavier than that, so I gotta keep it going!

              • Epsilonicus

                Happy hour soon?

                • RewindingtonMaximus

                  Good idea.

                • PhlyyPhree

                  Yes, lets!!!

                  • Epsilonicus

                    Hit my email up and lets make it happen!

          • Epsilonicus

            I’m about to become Apostle Paul to spread this message throughout the lands

            • PhlyyPhree

              Look here, I might have to figure out how to tat this message on me because it’s so real.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              Please do sir, please do.

          • Jennifer

            My lady pillows hurt just looking at this gif.

        • Epsilonicus
        • Sigma_Since 93

          I’m looking like Jesse Jackson when he watched Honolulu Slim address the crowd after locking up the Presidency in 2007 right now.

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c556ac22ded71411e3e9ed2bf0894db0e075b521bf87815f2fe4fe5e05a8a735.gif

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            lmaooo yall are killing me today

        • Mr. Gundam

          Hold on lets be honest here…..

          No one wants to be the ex that broke up with their SO right before they get there ish together.

          For exp: In the show if Issa broke up with dude, he would single with the tech job and dating the bank tell while Issa and molly are still mad at each other.

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            Guess what though?

            That would have still been the better choice. Lawrence would be in a better place mentally, he wouldn’t be using Tasha, and Issa would have never used Daniel.

            I get your point but that’s literally justifying being an a$$hole just because you’re scared you’re going to make a mistake. As someone who has done that, I know better. If it is time to go, YOU GO.

        • grownandsexy2

          People sleep on being single is all I got. Like marriage, maybe it’s not for everybody. Marriage is work. Being single isn’t.

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            Nah I think it’s the other way around.

            People spazz out more about being single than marriage. At least with marriage, people barely put any thought into it because it’s just “something you’re supposed to do” according to most.

            But being single acts like the main cause of cancer in too many people with the way they stress over it.

            • grownandsexy2

              IMO, being single is not difficult because it requires no work. I can concentrate on my own sweet self without considering a partner. That is, unless you want to be married and for whatever reason it’s not happening. Then you see women spazzing out. I think women feel this more than men because from the time we open our eyes, we are socialized to believe that we need a man and a husband someday. And sooner rather than later.

              Disney is complicit in this travesty and the bridal industry takes up any slack. I call it the “princess syndrome.” Lol. Disney socializes young girls to want a fairytale wedding complete with a handsome prince, and many of us have absorbed the script (subconsciously). If I had a dime for every time I heard someone (even the media) refer to “fairy tale wedding,” I’d be rich. Grown folks! A bride is the closest thing I can think of that seals the deal. Think of all the tiaras you seen on grown women. If you go against the script, it means you’re bitter, no one wants you, you’re too picky or just plain gay. As if life can only be lived in one way. Tew much.

        • grownandsexy2

          Just my observations. Marriage counseling should be as much of a requirement as a marriage license. Most of us don’t ask the necessary questions before we get married (cause we young, and all we know is that I love him/her) even the old heads. It takes a bit of self-reflection or a good hard honest look which sometimes takes place after a bad first marriage. And sometimes not. And even if you do all the alleged “right things,” like anything, there are no guarantees. Sometimes people stay long after they know they should be gone, but feeling/emotions keep them there. Such is the cycle of life.

      • PhlyyPhree

        As long as she feels like it.
        But don’t be mad if you leave and he gets it together with his Tasha next week.

        Life is all about personal choice. No one can make you stay anywhere you don’t wanna be. You don’t HAVE to wait on that man to get his sh it together. He may Never get his sh it together, if he has to have it together by your standards. But there’s no timeline on it.

        • Scorpiogoddess??

          Yap.

        • MsSula

          Grown woman talk right here.

        • That’s some real adulting right here.

          • PhlyyPhree

            Eh. I had to grow up one of these days. Lol

        • Digital_Underground

          Plus, one woman’s “got his ish together” will differ from another woman’s. On top of that an individual woman’s “got his ish together” will change over time. YMMV.

          • PhlyyPhree

            Exxxxxactly.
            Most folk ain’t got their sh it together by their OWN standards. Accept what you can deal with, learn to compromise where you can and if you can’t, leave. Period.
            None of this, “But when he get on”. Nawl. When he get on, he gon leave you for a white girl anyway.

          • I also think that we need to realize that Having your Scheisse together =/= Having a job.

            • Digital_Underground

              Indeed. Its always implied that “success” is making good money. I sometimes wonder if the people talking big about guys having their ish together have spent any real time around six figure earners. I know quite a few. They make great money. But they pay for it. They work very long hours. You have to schedule time with them. And they are surgically attached to their cell phones.

              Being romantically involved with someone like that sounds good on paper. But in real life not so much.

              • Epsilonicus

                “They make great money. But they pay for it. They work very long hours. You have to schedule time with them. And they are surgically attached to their cell phones.”

                I try to tell folks.

                • LeeLee

                  My brother lived that six-figure life for awhile and told me the same thing. Much happier now, working better hours with lesser pay. And his bills are still paid…….

                  • Epsilonicus

                    I have a cousin that way. He got this huge house but feels like he wasted so many years of his life chasing money and unable to actually enjoy it.

              • mr. steal your costco samples

                this was my big firm years for rest. making six at 27 is great but like most women aren’t hearing that you are always on call so you might could have to cancel a date on literally no notice because partners or clients are wilding or forgot sumisht

                • MsSula

                  Six figures ain’t all it’s cracked up to be when you have to spend a 20 hours on Christmas Day on a client site while your mama has flown thousands of miles to spend said holiday with you.
                  My father says Time is the only ressource not renewable. Use it wisely.

                  • Brooklyn_Bruin

                    And the salary is never so much that you can stop working altogether.

                    Even in that case, If an I-Banker pulls mid 7 figures – she could parlay that into some laddered income – but then she’d be living on 6 figures. Suddenly the Bentley SUV looking a luxury not a necessity like it used to. Might have to forgo the personal shopper and hit Off 5th.

                • Digital_Underground

                  “…most women aren’t hearing that you are always on call so you might could have to cancel a date on literally no notice…”

                  There was a post awhile back about making an effort to spend time with someone you are interested in. The point was made by some that someone people really don’t have time like that. Others were not buying it saying that if a man was interested he would “make” time.

                  I was thoroughly entertained reading the comment section that day.

                  • PhlyyPhree

                    Welllll now.
                    Men DO make time when they’re truly interested. I know this for fact.
                    The issue is whether or not women are content with the time that’s being made for them. Por ejemplo, I have a friend who is EXCEEDINGLY busy. Extremely! But he makes the time to have 2-3 minute convos when walking to the car or running stupid errands. Do I want more? Sure. But I also understand that he’s giving what he can, when he can and he is literally making the time where he can for me.

                    • Digital_Underground

                      And that goes back to my first point. Sometimes “not being/ doing enough” is not about what you are doing (or not doing). Its about the other person’s expectations. Expectations are good. But if we are not careful they can get away from us and ruin relationships left and right.

              • Brooklyn_Bruin

                I mean like who hasn’t met some Doctor’s Wife at the club to finance one’s Jordan and Timberland collection?

                • Digital_Underground

                  Wealthy men’s wives can be a goldmine for those who can stomach that lifestyle. I call it a circle of pimpin. It goes around and around.

      • There’s always an opt out clause in any relationship. I mean if I were Issa or Lawrence I wouldn’t have moved in together until a ring was in play. That’s me though. It’s not based on any sort or religious or moral stance but doing husband/wife sh*t w/o a marriage just seems off to me.

        • I totally agree!

        • MsSula

          Same here.

        • Buster Cannon

          There’s always an opt out clause in any relationship. I mean if I were Issa or Lawrence I wouldn’t have moved in together until a ring was in play. That’s me though. It’s not based on any sort or religious or moral stance but doing husband/wife sh*t w/o a marriage just seems off to me.

          Yeah, that’s the danger in playing married before you’re actually, well…married. Vet the other person thoroughly, and if something doesn’t look right, it’s time to jump ship. When you start bonding too heavily before that, it’s harder for folks to leave.

          • Scorpiogoddess??

            Preach.

        • tgtaggie

          Yeah that’s my perspective from personal experience. I can see if he was motivated to get his ish together. He seemed like a good guy. honestly, they should’ve been broken up

      • mr. steal your costco samples

        iono how long you “supposed” to, but I know how long you *have* to, which is exactly zero seconds

      • Brooklyn_Bruin

        To wait before she calls up Mr. “I been wondering about since college”?

    • Conrad Bess
    • -h.h.h.-

      excellent work Kas. You are truly one with the Dark side of the Force.

      http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/8f/8fb972446d5eda57ccc6c994da3671d9d1632dab8815837a3e902a34c8c73318.jpg

    • Ess Tee

      Look at you stoking flames like you don’t already have brush fires and the like to worry about in Cali.

      • Kas

        Unlike L-Smash, I can multitask.

      • Sweet Potato Kai ?

        LMAO. Savage.

    • mr. steal your costco samples

      /denzelmyman.gif

    • grownandsexy2

      He may be a “good man” but is there attraction?

      • Kas

        Ya’ll women expect tew much! :)

        • grownandsexy2

          Is that a joke? Could you be with a woman you’re not attracted to? I gotta be attracted first and then I ponder the rest.

          • Kas

            I’m just playing

            • grownandsexy2

              I thought maybe you were playing. You good people Kas. :)

    • Akhibrass

      Why are we even defining people as good or bad? We’ve become such a consumer culture we are “commidifying” each other. Maybe someone is good for you though not “objectively” good or good based on some predetermined scale.

  • RewindingtonMaximus
  • Hugh Akston

    One human deceiving another one

    Sounds about all romantic relationships lmao nope yours isn’t that different haha

    The headaches what kind of remedies do people take to cope?

    Join the fun #besinglemeansnoheadache

  • TJ

    I love how it’s been nearly 96 hours, and we’re still talking about Insecure. Lmao. But I agree: There hasn’t been a divide between Black men and women since No Pigeons. I was like 11, but I remember it so vividly!

    I wonder what wypipo been talking about since Sunday, because we haven’t been able to talk about anything else!

    My issue with Lawrence is this notion that you can’t develop the app AND work at the same time. I don’t think he applied himself fully when job hunting. I don’t care if he went to a head hunter and whatnot, that doesn’t mean you’re really grinding looking for a job. Heck, he almost didn’t take the job at Meridian, because of this app (which has no finished business plan and no prototype).

    I honestly think a good chunk of men are SHOOK. This is why the LawrenceHive is thriving. They have the Weebay face, because they are now realizing that their real-life regular girls can be fed up and cheat too. No more, “I have a good girl.” or “My girl would never.” YES SHE CAN. Especially if you’re embroiled in a fraction of the shenanigans like Lawrence was.

    • HouseOfBonnets

      ” that you can’t develop the app AND work at the same time. I don’t think he applied himself fully when job hunting. I don’t care if he went to a head hunter and whatnot, that doesn’t mean you’re really grinding looking for a job. Heck, he almost didn’t take the job at Meridian, because of this app (which has no finished business plan and no prototype).”

      Thank You…..Sir you can do both.

    • MsSula

      “My issue with Lawrence is this notion that you can’t develop the app AND work at the same time”

      I work in the field, trust me when I say it is not for the faint of heart to do. Actually, it might low-key be impossible. Unless you work for a very easygoing boss who leaves you oodles of time to write your code (and then you end up like Thomas from Silicon Valley having to sell your app to the devil just because you changed 1 line of code on a work computer).

      Seriously, we need to encourage our young people to take more risks to become truly independent. Working for life at We Got Y’all is not the business.

      • TJ

        For someone who doesn’t work in Tech, I believe you that it’s not easy. But Lawrence isn’t single living alone or single living with his parents. He needs to think of his partner and how him not working affects the household.

        I also agree: Working for We Got Y’all isn’t going to be sustainable for Issa either. The show makes it apparent that she is very stuck in her “career” and doesn’t know what she wants long-term.

        • Exactly! If you’re working on the app full time off of money you have saved to support yourself, then that’s fine. But doing it half-heartedly, while living off of someone else who is covering all the bills, a girlfriend and not even a spouse, at that, now that’s another story. You can’t expect a girlfriend to be content with that year after year, especially when you’re not even thoughtful enough to do something for her birthday. Lawrence sounds like someone who needs to figure himself out, financially support his own “dreams,” and just be single. And as soon as Issa found she wasn’t happy in the relationship, she should’ve just broke up with him. She was kind of enabling his stagnation by allowing the dead end relationship to continue.

          • Mildredmlilly

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !sg80c:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !sg80c:
            ??
            ??;?? http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash370WebConsumerGetPay$97Hour ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????::::::!sg80c:….,……..

          • Danikaemcclain

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !sz77c:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !sz77c:
            ??
            ??;?? http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash367NetworkReachGetPay$97Hour ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????::::::!sz77c:….,……..

        • Dax E. Richardson

          He was on unemployment it wasn’t like he wasn’t paying anything.

          • Poetic Justice

            He wasn’t actionable. Most people would expect a millionaire boyfriend to clean the house a little and depart from the couch from time to time.

      • HouseOfBonnets

        I’m in IT (in QA so take what I’ve seen with a grain of salt) and while I see the major time constraints doing both isn’t impossible especially if you have a solid business plan/faith in your concept. Also that field is thick (mostly with yt boys) all fighting for shine so he’s automatically in competition with (unfortunately still in 2016) a disadvantage so given the situation I feel like for the present time he should have done/can do both (plus with work comes potential connections).

        “Seriously, we need to encourage our young people to take more risks to become truly independent. Working for life at We Got Y’all is not the business.”

        While this is important in theory in reality everyone does not want to be or can not handle being an entrepreneur (I came to this realization a while ago but I will admit many off the advice/lessons given by them can benefit everyone even career wise.) I think it’s important to educate/invest/support black Independence but I also think it should be explained how to correctly steer/ figure out your personal career if that’s your path. Also if we’re being honest Issa could have probably been running We got y’all by now her conversation with her boss shows that she sees potential in her but issa is wasting it by being stagnant. :)

        • MsSula

          “While this is important in theory in reality everyone does not want to be or can not handle being an entrepreneur”

          This is why we need to encourage the ones who do.

          I am a programmer by trade. I chose the corporate route because reasons (number 1 being first born daughter of African parents. Lol). The husband is a coder as well. He chose the entrepreneurial route. It took 4 years to move his offices out of the proverbial “mama’s basement”. He had the support to make his vision take.

          Making it big in the Tech field takes A LOT. But more importantly, it takes a lot of support from loved ones.

          There is a reason Silicon Valley is one of my favorite shows. The accuracy of these early years of trying to find funding and trying to move up and make money are TOO real.

          • HouseOfBonnets

            I agree it takes a lot and in this field especially when you’re trying to break out independently. I will say that issa’s handling of him saying maybe he should focus on his app was completely wrong especially since he was trying/in glow up phase.

        • Brooklyn_Bruin

          Ol boy was like “They got funding”

          And I’m thinking to myself – I wonder if he’s tried to do his Y-Combinator thing at some point.

        • Diego Duarte

          95% of start ups fail or go bankrupt within the first five years. The economy cannot afford having everybody becoming an entrepreneur, the market is just not there because of a downward trend in consumption and an upward trend in income inequality. What we need are labor rights and unions. This whole “young people need to be more independent” is a fiasco and a lie sold out by corporations constantly lobbying to keep their share of social cost down at the barest minimum, whilst still maximizing its profits.

      • NomadaNare

        This

        Do not try this while working for any tech firm or science lab

      • Sweet Potato Kai ?

        Right!? And how many people have it together at 25? 30?

        • Sigma_Since 93

          For every woman that looks down on Laurence has a David they wish they stuck it out with.

        • HouseOfBonnets

          You don’t have it together but you should have/be working on an idea of what you want to do. At a stand up donald glover once said whatever path you’re on at 30 9 times out of 10 that’s your path for the rest of your life.

          • Sweet Potato Kai ?

            But ISSA thinks he should’ve had it together by now and he WAS working on what he wanted to do!
            We are living in different times, everything doesn’t pop off at 30.

            • HouseOfBonnets

              I would have to disagree at least personally,the people I know are in two camps on the path and lost. I’m 25 and most of the ones I know are (For reference,not being shady lol) I’ve only really seen some creatives pop off 30+

          • Dax E. Richardson

            Funny you invoke Donald Glover because people love his character on Atlanta but that is a deadbeat if I ever saw one, Princeton dropout, nothing to fall back on, dead end gig based on commission, a baby daddy with a woman who wasn’t his girl, trying to manage a local rapper/weed dealer, how pathetic is that character but black people love Atlanta but somehow Lawrence is the epitome of a woman’s disdain.

            • HouseOfBonnets

              Earn and Donald Glover are two different characters. I can separate both, on a previous article I stated a similar thought. If you are trying to make it independently that’s great but you have to support yourself in the meantime necessities don’t accept ambition passion and goals for payment unfortunately.

        • Question

          What is “together”? I don’t expect anything at 30 – but you should be able to feed, clothe and shelter yourself. Are we really saying that that is too much to ask of a 30 year old?

          • Sweet Potato Kai ?

            Together is subjective. Nowhere in the season suggests that Lawrence couldn’t feed, clothe or provide shelter for himself. All there is a limited description of what “together” means to Issa and everyone is Usain Bolt with it.

            • Question

              I think the vagueries were intentional – so that we could run with it.

              • Sweet Potato Kai ?

                Definitely! People got Lawrence broke, cheating, unemployed, impotent, nympho……I’m like did we all watch the same series?

                • Question

                  Nah, folks are projecting their own experiences into their assessments of Lawrence, which again, I think is the point. And it explains why folks are reacting the way they are. Women who have dealt with fawkboi’s are reacting one way; men who’ve been “dreamers” (who weren’t so actively pursuing their dreamers) are quick to defend Lawrence and focus on the women who choose to try to love (and encourage) them.

                  • Sweet Potato Kai ?

                    True indeed

                • Dax E. Richardson

                  Right??? He was on unemployment which means he had a job but the plot has a hole because you can only receive unemployment 26 weeks before an extension and then you’re out. So either he had a job in his so-called 4 years of joblessness or somebody didn’t do their homework.

                  • Sweet Potato Kai ?

                    At the end of the day, HBO has my money for next season. Can’t wait.

                    • Dax E. Richardson

                      I like the show because of Issa Rae, I like her acting and Liked Awkward Black Girl, I think HBO convinced her to make Lawrence this way and change the name to Insecure because Awkward and Insecure are two totally different words and meanings and so the show is different.

      • Jahna

        While We Got Y’all was pretty trash, we can encourage our young people to work in careers that give back to the communities they come from. We have to actually, because who trusts well meaning wypipo completely?

        • fedup

          The dearth of a targeted, and steady leadership pipeline for community-based non-profits is so real.

      • Brooklyn_Bruin

        Oh, you work in the field? *raises one eyebrow*

        • MsSula

          Yes I do. *smirks with one corner of my mouth*

      • Madam CJ_Skywalker

        I agree with you, but just to push back a bit, how come we never ever saw Lawrence actually WORKING on his dream / app? Did he crack open a laptop like…ever?

        • Ausar Mars

          Show is about Issa though right so why would they get all deep on Lawrence’s app…jussayin

          • Madam CJ_Skywalker

            Yea the show is focused on Issa, but they also showed Law independently a good bit too. Interacting with headhunter, at home on the couch, working at Best buy, interacting w Tasha, so why would they leave out the part about him actively working on his app, unless he hasn’t been working on his dream for a while now?

            • krburton1

              I think it’s because the real issue is he hasn’t been working on it! The tell tell sign was when he said he’s still tweaking his business plan – i.e. he hasn’t done any real work. It’s all still ideas and thoughts in his head. He hasn’t put forth real action yet. He’s the typical smart person overthinking instead of doing. Hence why Issa rapped, “here’s a plan, start your business!”

          • SororSalsa

            Because they live together. How many times did Issa come home and Lawrence was on the bouch, eating cereal and/or watching tv? We never saw him working towards his goal. I believe he lost confidence and maybe was depressed, but I don’t get the feeling that he was actively engaged in getting his app off the ground at the point where the show starts.

        • Question

          Cuz that would take away the vagueries surrounding Lawrence. She didn’t give you too much of what he was doing, because it wasn’t really about him. Its about Issa and her reactions TO him…and frankly, what women are relating to.

      • Conrad Bess
      • Question

        Ehhh…I agree in theory. In reality, if you want it that badly you will make it work. There are other things you can do to test a concept without committing yourself to writing code – are you testing product market fit? Are you seeing if people (B2B or B2C) would even use it?

        Yea, I agree that we need to encourage “young people” but a 30-something year old man who is unable to take care of himself because he’s semi-pursuing a dream-app is not a “young person”.

      • fedup

        If that’s what we’re gonna encourage young people to do, we 1st [then] need to teach them about how to generate passive income so that you can pay your bills while working on your life project.

        Lawrence’s problem (as has been stated many times over already) its now been 4 years without any solid progress towards his app.

        Now, I have to assume that he had some significant savings prior to going on unemployment, because the unemployment check from 4 years ago would have long since ran out. And its pretty obvious that whatever he was getting from unemployment was enough. And so, if he was gainfully employed enough (previously) to have been able to save up a little money prior to going on unemployment, and also had a decent enough job to be able to do so, why didn’t he have a financial contingency plan for things taking longer than anticipated?

        Again, nothing wrong with encouraging people to follow their passions in life, but if we aren’t 1st going to be real about what life expects from you, and really be ready to compromise sometimes, then best to go ahead get that 9-to-5 until you can do better.

        • MsSula

          She really never said he was not helping financially. She said she was pulling the weight of the relationship. There is a lot of conflation going on here…

          • fedup

            How so (with the conflation)? The context clues help allot here.

            If his being unemployed was not putting a financial strain on the relationship, why the need for the Best Buy gig? Working at Best Buy in order to get your sexy Black Man mojo back? Nah, especially if he’d been gainfully employed enough to have savings and pull down enough unemployment to keep contributing to the household for at least the four years that was referenced in the show.

            Going back to work at BB instead of where you know you belong would be a punch to the gut of any person. Which is why we know that, their disagreements leading up to and his settling for the BB gig was out of financial necessity.

    • Kylroy

      “I wonder what wypipo been talking about since Sunday”

      Dunno about the past week, but some of us were having a startlingly similar conversation about Paul and Lindsay in “You’re The Worst” two weeks ago. Similar in that both people were clearly making major mistakes, yet everybody got all fired up arguing who had made *worse* mistakes.

    • Brooklyn_Bruin

      They’re talking about Westworld, and how obvious the whole thing is.
      SAW THAT COMING A MILE AWAY.
      *after secretly visiting reddit sites so they could sound smart to their friends on facebook*

    • LMAO @ “The Weebay face” reference! lol!!!

  • Reemo

    The Interwebs are about to think piece this show into oblivion. I ain’t seen this many (sh**ty )hot takes since the Heat won their first title.

  • Brandon Allen

    I have no idea where this takeaway of “its okay for men to cheat, but when women do it it’s villified” came from.

    Pretty much all R&B and most classic black movies that people praise are about women moving on from dudes that aren’t ish.

    Also, Issa wasn’t “outhustling”. She had a job…that she was iight at. At best. All this “building” people up talk is kind of a non starter, is because most men don’t count points with women in that manner.

    Lawrence was by no means ideal. But none of this was about that. It was about honesty.

    • MsSula

      Thank you.

    • Freebird

      “I have no idea where this takeaway of “its okay for men to cheat, but when women do it it’s villified” came from.”

      Someone is trying to rewrite black cinematic and recording history to go hard for their hometeam.

      • Negro Libre

        Yeah, society doesn’t force you to be in a relationship, the human fear of loneliness does (the tax man will hook you up though if you put a ring on it). Trying to outsource that problem to society gives legitimacy to all kinds of theories and conspiracies why people choose to do right or wrong in relationships.

    • Definitely agree on Issa. She had a 9 to 5 that she was decent at while putting in just okay effort. People keep portraying like she was a business MAN.

      • cyanic

        She was holding down the household financially.

        • She was. She should of kicked him out long ago considering she didn’t want to be with him.

          • cyanic

            She wanted what she had with him. He was in the physical space and aside from shiftless unemployment she could always use him for a cuddle and conversation when she wasn’t sick at the sight of him after work.

            • That doesn’t mean you stay in a relationship.

              • Kylroy

                And leaving that relationship is something she absolutely should have done. Probably years ago. Cheating as a self-destruct on the relationship instead of being honest and straightforward is a…poor way of handling it.

        • Scorpiogoddess??

          He was cashing unemployment checks. He was contributing something.

          • cyanic

            When’s your b’day Tasha?

            • Scorpiogoddess??

              Why? You have a gift for me?

              • cyanic

                I too am a Scorpio. Nov 12. And your defense of Lawrence at every turn using facts from the show as evidence is giving me life this morning.

                • Scorpiogoddess??

                  I’m a Scorpio too Hun.

                  *hi 5*! We don’t play that disloyal bs.

                  • PiaMia

                    I just wanted to wave and say hey fellow scorpios *small wave* <—- October Scorpio

                • Buster Cannon

                  Whoa, same birthday as me :D

                  • Scorpiogoddess??

                    I find Nov. Scorpios to be very tame but cold as phakk. As opposed to the Octobers who are just fiery fiery.

                    • cyanic

                      Frank Ocean is an October Scorpio.

                    • Scorpiogoddess??

                      God. Why?! Claim him.

                    • Buster Cannon

                      Yeah, the cold part is definitely me lol

                    • Scorpiogoddess??

                      I KNOW.

                • MsSula

                  I know at least 5 people born on November 12. Very loyal, but boy are they all-consuming!!

                  • PhlyyPhree

                    LOOK! The amount of attention, time and space they require from you….man.

                    • MsSula

                      And they are all Drama Queens and Kings. It’s uncanny.

                    • Scorpiogoddess??

                      I disagree.

                    • MsSula

                      Lolll. Are you born on November 12?

                    • Scorpiogoddess??

                      No. October

                    • PhlyyPhree

                      I don’t know about drama. The Scorpios in my life have pretty much avoided drama (at least with me anyway) although everything IS larger than life, end of the world type sh it, ALLLATIME.
                      But the way they take everything including air and light from you…… I might don’t make it

                    • MsSula

                      Your description is more accurate. I meant for them everything is super important. They are too intense and too exhausting for my little independent Aries heart.

                    • PhlyyPhree

                      Oh. Well then yea.
                      My friend is always gloom and doom, end of the world and I’m always like “But look, we have sprinkles. Can’t be that bad”.
                      I’m pretty sure he hates me when he doesn’t love me. Lol

                    • Scorpiogoddess??

                      Wait. You saying Scorpios dim your lights boo?

                    • PhlyyPhree

                      Nah. I let NOOOONE dim my light anymore.
                      I’m saying that my Scorpio friends are so intense, they’re like a supernova and take EVERYTHING. But the resultant explosion is beyoutiful. Lol.
                      Maintaining the friendship just requires me to know my boundaries and when I need to step away and recharge because they require so much, but not in a bad way.

                    • Scorpiogoddess??

                      First time I heard this. The ones I know require a lot of attention is Leo’s. Exhausting.

                    • MsSula

                      I get along awesomely with Leos. Scorpios drag me.

                    • Scorpiogoddess??

                      Lol.

                    • Liz

                      Only knew one Scorpio woman before this year (and she was lovely) but I recently worked in an office full of Scorpio women and let me tell you… the crying, the tirades, the passion, grand gestures, silent treatment, plotting and scheming, etc. And each of them required a huge b-day party. Sometimes it was fun, but most days I would get home and just sleep.

                    • MsSula

                      Girl, I feel you all the way!!!!

                    • MsSula

                      You said nothing but a word. I had to tell my girlfriend I needed a break one time. It is exhausting truly.

        • Geechi_Luciano

          that’s an assumption. he wasnt working but the bankteller even said he had a good amount of money saved up and he was pulling in unemployment. not saying that was covering all the bills, but it was covering something. Issa or Lawrence never once said they were struggling financially nor was it ever implied.

          • BmoreLikeLA

            not even when Lawrence was inspired to bring his app back to life, did Issa say “I’m tired of solo dolo floating us”. So this was never about Issa being the only one providing. He was doing his part too. Less than his previous job, but still

          • cyanic

            It isn’t an assumption they were living at her place.

            • Geechi_Luciano

              her place or their place? you might need to refresh my memory, but when was this said? also where was it said he didn’t pay any bills?

          • Madam CJ_Skywalker

            I believe in either ep 1 (or 2) Issa was venting to Molly about how she is tired of caring the emotional and financial weight of the relationship

        • Brooklyn_Bruin

          I don’t recall “you got half on this month’s rent” conversation.

          Given everything about his situation – it was more about him just being stagnant. Her coming home to him playing video games, forgetting her b-day. Even the get back together bang out was only 6/10.

      • Brandon Allen

        She almost got fired too

      • HouseOfBonnets

        She was stagnant af

        • cyanic

          Laughs.

      • Geechi_Luciano

        talk to em

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      You do know where the cheating villification comes from Brandon, because you’ve watched the same TV & movies, heard the same songs, and read the same postings online as everybody else.

      Women always take the L to keep men in their lives because men have force feed them crap for hundreds of years. We don’t have to pretend.

      BUT….we can talk about it now, whereas before we couldn’t. And by talking about it, it reveals both genders have some real issues to work out.

      • Brandon Allen

        Wait. What I’m saying is. That nobody likes cheaters. That’s it . Everyone’s trying to have justifications. But….just nah.

        • Scorpiogoddess??

          Because she is a woman. Phakk outta here.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Very true. But…the history of us being cheaters…you got to understand the topic will never be fair.

          • Freebird

            Men have screwed up the world no doubt. The worl is more dangerous dor women. I don’t think anyone is denying that if they are reasonable.

            But this idea that women have not been out here gettin it in for reasons removed from our horribleness does not help the discourse either. Its like corner hanging home always blaming da man or baby mama for his downfalls.

            Not you personally but you know what I mean

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              Of course.

              But that’s why I keep repeating myself. Because we are looking for fairness but it won’t happen because biases don’t allow it.

              Some will see the point and be objective but most? Nah.

          • Negro Libre

            Eh, people been getting side, women just endure it more.

            Cleopatra was turning emperors into cheaters, before Jesus was turning up the parties and saying “Let there be wine.”

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              The truth is the truth but when it comes to love & relationships, aint a lick of truth mattered more than feelings.

              • PhlyyPhree

                “The truth is the truth but when it comes to love & relationships, aint a lick of truth mattered more than feelings.”

                Just in case they didn’t see it the first time.

            • grownandsexy2

              lol.

    • Skegeeaces

      Okay, but having a *career* IS lightyears ahead of being a four years unmotivated unemployed person. And she was rockin’ it at her job by the end of the season. I’d say she’s going places!

      • BmoreLikeLA

        She was stagnant in half-azzing it…he was too. THEN she got in her groove. Neither of them were bringing the A game to their careers, both treading water. Bc right around the time she started killing it, he got that upgrade too.

    • Yup

      Wait but reality for most people does NOT line up with that. Look at statistics, how many women have degrees and how many men don’t. Think about the women you know..why are you quoting what you see on TV when we all know reality doesnt match that? Too many women are settling, 100%.

    • Maybe from the double standard that sees female chexual freedom as a symptom of some other societal ill (fatherlessness, using $ex for financial prosperity) and male chexual freedom as natural, implied and “just what men do.”

      Saying that women move on from dudes who aint shyyt doesn’t negate that women who cheat are villified – not necessarily more than men – but with a degree of fervor and scorn that y’all just DO NOT get. When a woman cheats, it’s because she’s emotionally invested in the other man, not just that she wants to get a nut off. When a woman cheats, she’s ruining her family and disrespecting her man’s entire legacy by letting some other fool put their paws on his meat.

      This ish ain’t nothing new.

      • Brandon Allen

        I mean a “cheating man” is literally a trope. It’s not really about sexual freedom. It’s about the confines of a relationship.

    • Natalie Degraffinried

      Not necessarily okay—just normalized to the point where it’s extremely problematic.

      See: “Pretty much all R&B and most classic black movies that people praise are about women moving on from dudes that aren’t ish.”

  • Okaykaykay

    Someone asked me which was better, Insecure or Atlanta. They’re completely different shows it’s hard to compare them but what do y’all think?

    • Atlanta is easily better.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      Atlanta explores Blackness through dark comedy and gives great insight to all of the problems in Black America.

      Insecure explores dating & selfishness for young Black love.

    • chazb

      I think it depends on what you like. Atlanta was cool but didn’t hold my attention, I need to revisit. I think I personally relate more to Insecure in some ways.

      • Okaykaykay

        I explained it like this, Atlanta is like watching someone else’s life play out. We drop in and out of their experiences-start and stop. Insecure is like watching pieces of your own life play out continuously.

        • MsSula

          I like that description.

        • Epsilonicus

          For me Atlanta is like watching pieces of my own life while Insecure is watching someone else’s

          • black-a-rican

            I live in L.A. now and used to live in ATL. Atlanta is very realistic, particularly with the amount of random ish that happens on the regular. I even go to the GA Firing Line in Marietta (same place in the show) with my mother when I go visit.

    • MsSula

      Different genres even. One is a very good and realistic rom com, the other is an art house dark comedy.

      They both have their places. I will watch Atlanta alone and think about it deeply afterwards whereas I will watch Insecure with some friends and thank God we are past our twenties! Loll.

    • Brandon Allen

      Ehhh they’re a little more similar than you think. As someone who’s lived in LA and Atlanta it felt like both shows were about the locations and the culture there. Atlanta is just more irreverent stylistically.

    • Epsilonicus

      Definitely Atlanta.

      • mr. steal your costco samples

        Atlanta strikes me (haven’t watched yet) as a little too cute

        • cyanic

          It ain’t. Watch the first two episodes asap.

        • Epsilonicus

          It is hilarious and dope. It also helps because I know people exactly like the characters.

    • cyanic

      Insecure is basic and Atlanta isn’t.

    • Wise Old Owl

      I love them both, at first I thought I would not be able to relate to Insecure as a Black Man, but Issa does an excellent job and I actually related to her and Lawrence….Atlanta is a flatout beast, I haven’t laughed this much since the first season of the Chapelle Show. I prefer Atlanta’s take on racism and Insecure’s take on relationships. Either way, Issa and Donald are getting that Paper Boi, Paper Boi…

      • Kas

        I see what you did there.

        • Wise Old Owl

          Yes, Paper Boi is my current favorite television character…and at first, like an idiot, I hated on the show and his character. Therefore, I advise everyone watch each episode, especially the first one, before forming an opinion and writing a show off…

    • Brooklyn_Bruin

      Donald G been in the game for a decade. That’s why his show is so meta.
      Issa not nearly as long, which is why it seems a bit amateurish.

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