I’m 29 Years Old, And I Just Moved Back Home With My Parents » VSB

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I’m 29 Years Old, And I Just Moved Back Home With My Parents

VSB

 

I have been here in Hampton, Virginia, with my entire damn family for about a month. My goal here is to get my mind, body, and bank account back on track while competing for the title of America’s Next Top Mama’s Boy. My sister, nieces, the children of countless family friends and I all grew up in this house. Everyone has left and returned at least twice. For the first time in almost a decade, the whole Hardy/Avery clan is living together in our cozy, one-story peach castle.

It’s a very intimate coexistence, to say the least.

Six weeks is the longest I have spent in my hometown since moving to New York in 2006. Since then, I have lived in Los Angeles, New Orleans, and Panama City, Panama. I love big cities. That rich diversity of glorious cuisine and menfolk makes all the difference. And because the key to life in Hampton is appreciating simplicity, I lovingly refer to our beloved charmingly passé suburban land of buffets and aggressive confederate mosquitoes as 1998, Virginia. A month into this extended stay, I’m enjoying myself here in yesteryear far more than I anticipated.

I get to watch my nieces have their Girlz II Women moment, which I’m thrilled about. I can’t help but feel like an absentee uncle, having been gone for so many birthdays, recitals, and Back to School Nights. Moving further and further away from home these past few years, I got used to seeing these young magnificents—who are turning 16 and 17 in just over a month—once a year at best. I have missed a lot. They have personalities, pet peeves, and résumés now. I feel like I just changed their diapers last year and these chicks are out here with Poetic Justice braids and luscious “Pleasure Principle” hair, grown as hell. I’m still asking, “Wait, they can read now?” and they’re discussing learner’s permits, college applications, and Beyoncé performances.

It’s a lot to take in.

The thought of being here when they arrive home from school daily and excitedly uncork and rave about their days, their victories and challenges? That does wonders for my soul at a time when I’m in need of every available good feeling.

All of the anxiety I felt about living with my parents as I backstroke onto the shores of Thirtyland left when I saw my beaming-ass Dad walking towards me in the airport a few weeks back. Before I left Panama, life hit me with an eight-hit combo and suddenly, a taste of that small town slow pace and easy-to-get-stuckness sounded mighty fine to me. This move home was essential to what’s left of my sanity. So, aquí estoy, adjusting to life in 1998 with my entire damn family.

There is much work to be done, personally, professionally, and otherwise. I am moving to New York at some point in the future in an attempt to become A Thing.

However, I’m making sure I take time to just breathe, to enjoy where I am and what I have done in these 29.5 years of Blackness. I’m trying to unlearn this habit of downplaying my achievements, and relearning how to be kind to and gentle with myself. Work in progress, and all that jazz.

In the meantime, I’m eating heartily, having a Blanche Devereaux moment and enjoying laughing, eating, and drinking with my parents, who are saints and superheroes. Whereas chores were my kryptonite as a child, I now take pleasure in cooking, cleaning, and lightening their load any way I can. Last week, I volunteered to empty out, scrub down, and organize the deep freezer. Yesterday, my mother guided me through her legendary Seasoning Strategy as I turned that chicken out, baking it to juicy perfection. Next week, I will bring order to the family museum that is our living room closet and I will love it. Just like I love hearing my parents’ enthusiastic discussions about recently arrived coupons for meal deals and BOGO bargains.

They have been patient with me while I get my mind right and ease back into life here in ‘Murica. I have finally stopped greeting people in Spanish and have grown fond of exchanging pleasantries with people in stores and gas stations, which I’ve picked up from my Dad, who speaks to everyone in the bank or gas station upon entry.

I am researching low-cost mental health resources and considering job prospects. I am easing into a gym routine. My Mom is going to teach me to sew. After decades of refusal, my grandmother has agreed to let me watch her work her magic in the kitchen. Her patties (empanadas) will someday be incorporated into my Potential Boopiece Deluxe Woo-Pitchin’ Package. This is major. I am looking for salsa lessons and slowly increasing my daily writing output. The highlight of some days is fixing grits, toast, bacon, and tea for my mother in the morning and I’m just fine with that. Life is mostly good right now.

Compared to a month ago, I feel much better mentally. I enjoy finding joy in the mundane, like starting my day with delicious homophobic chicken biscuits and tater tots from Chick-Fil-A in the morning. Yes, this journey will be challenging, but it will be much easier, fortified by Mom’s cooking and Dad’s coolness. As much as I worried beforehand, there is nowhere else I would rather be right now than here in 1998.

Alex Hardy

Alexander Hardy is the dance captain for Saint Damita Jo Jackson's Royal Army. He is a writer who escaped Hampton, Virginia and is now based in Panama City, Panama. There, he runs The Colored Boy, and consumes copious amounts of chicken. He has written for EBONY.com, CNN, Gawker, and Huffington Post among other outlets. Alexander can likely be found daydreaming about his next meal or Blacking It Up on someone's dance floor. He also doesn't believe in snow or Delaware. Read more from Alex at www.thecoloredboy.com

  • MysteryMeat

    Your dad sounds like mine. Ever since i can remember he has walked into any and everyplace greeting everyone with a stern “Hey hey now” or “Hey hey what cha know good”

    But yeah bro I had to do the classic millennial move back in with my parents thing once before too. I felt like the last scrub at first. But after a few nights chilling on the porch snd a couple shadow box sessions with my dad I got over it. Was out of there in a few months refreshed. Best decision ever.

    sidenote: I am just now realizing how big Panama City is. Like within the last month. Its been on my radar for some odd reason. (shrugs)

    • My dad’s phrase is, “you makin’ out okay?”

      • MysteryMeat

        Gotta love the pops. I might start using this one myself but knowing me and my sometimes dry tone someone might take offense to it. Could definitely garner a “dafuq u mean” response. Depending.

    • AlwaysCC

      my father also asks people “whatcha know good” lol apparently the correct answer is “i cain’t call it”

  • Betty

    Dress it up all you want, but a 30yo male living at home is a lame. You should be trying to hustle and make it on you’re own even if it means crashing on a friend’s couch because the struggle makes you motivated. Instead this dude is getting comfortable in mommas house with her full fridge and will probably be there for a few years getting his life together. Lame.

    • Maya K. Francis

      Hope you don’t get a charlie horse picking up those big rocks you’re throwing.

    • Damon Young

      In your rush to fill your nightly quota of cliched Cracker Jack-box self-righteousness, I guess you missed the part where he lived in New York, LA, New Orleans, and motherf*cking Panama. All before turning 30. And you’ve definitely missed the part about him sharing very intimate details about his life in front of tens of thousands of strangers, something that takes a hundred thousand trillion times more courage, motivation, and hustle than hiding behind a stock avatar to leave a midnight comment on the internet.

      Lame.

      • jolly

        Way to defend your contributors against the lame insensitive trolls!

      • Obsidian Files

        Champ,
        Maybe do but nevertheless the Sista named a powerful point. I was barely out of highschool when I mmoved out on my own more than a decade younger than mr hardy and I never looked back. This, from a blue collar brotha with just a highschool degree. I couldnt wait to leave home and be on my own I had a lot to prove. That stance has stood me in good stead lo these many years and I had less than zero desire or interest in wanting to move back home or even visit.

        So, yes, she is right to point out that the current generation of black folk have lost that’ll true grit that made previous generations of blacks great. And, it shows in a host of ways-the lack of discipline, the heliocopter parenting, the focus on frivolity and spectacle, the lackadaisical work ethic…yea. like the readers words or no, theres a there, there and id I say so the ferocity of defensiveness gives weight to her observations.

        from my vantage point it really does boggle the mind to see grown adults moving back home with ma and pa when the very thought of such a thing was and still is very much alien to me. And those who go back have on paper at least much more going for them than.me.

        Whats wrong with this picture?

        O.

        • Neptunes presents The Clones

          It’s a major situation during this and the last decade O,to the extent that it is being called the boomerang generation. Kids who got out of Uni and high school after the economic downturn without degrees or skills that were needed got stuck

          • LMNOP

            It’s really a structural economic problem though, not a problem with this generation.

            • Neptunes presents The Clones

              That is hounding this generation

              • LMNOP

                Exactly, but people act like it was created by this generation.

                • Neptunes presents The Clones

                  But it does not help some of the choices people make when going to college though,some of these degrees and lack of work ethic is endemic lets be honest here

                • It’s a bit of both. Some people are making dumb decisions out here in these streets. Borrowing $100k for a sociology degree isn’t the wisest move. That said, the fact that a) those loans are available and b) the jobs that college grads used to fall into aren’t there isn’t their fault.

                  • Epsilonicus

                    Average student loan debt is around 35k.

                    • You’re right about average student loan debt. However, debt levels are distributed widely. There are a lot of people who went to West Nowheresville State, worked their way through school and graduated with little or no debt. Heck, it’s how I made it through grad school. On the flip side, there are people who go to private schools, assuming private is better, and don’t understand how the system works.

                      The worse situation are people who drop out without the foggiest clue what to do next. That’s where you get those stories of people with $20k in student loans working as security guards for $10/hour.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      Even worse is when you finance your ENTIRE education via debt.

                    • menajeanmaehightower

                      The next bubble is about to bust. Give it 5 years.

                    • Neptunes presents The Clones

                      That bubble will never bust

                    • menajeanmaehightower

                      Yes it will.

                    • tgtaggie

                      +1. Higher education in this country is getting to the point where its not even worth doing b/c of the debt load after graduation (especially for low income kids).Even though I have a 4yr degree in Construction Mgmt, when I talk to kids in middle in high school I always stress the importance of learning a trade b/c there is a dire need of skill laborers to do the work. Too many baby boomers are retiring and not enough skilled ppl to keep up the demand. Which will eventually cause the labor cost of construction to skyrocket.

                    • “There are a lot of people who went to West Nowheresville State, worked their way through school and graduated with little or no debt. Heck, it’s how I made it through grad school. ”

                      Ditto.

                  • LMNOP

                    It’s interesting to me that we expect 18 year olds to make wise financial decisions and enable them to get this indebted and yet we don’t let them drink, because they don’t make good choices.

                • I’m just rolling my eyes.

        • LMNOP

          Life is hard. No one really plans it this way, but sometimes people have to stay in shelters. Some people are fortunate to have the option of staying with family.

          In Alex’s case, he just moved back to the US, he’s trying to get in a better place financially, so why exhaust his savings on a motel or other temporary housing when he has the cheaper option of staying with people he loves and appreciates being able to spend time with?

        • Rachmo

          When I worked at Deloitte, I was one of the only people my age not living with their families (this was in Jersey). Seeing the difference made me wish I had moved home right after college. When you’re young and working a ton of hours having your family there just to even make sure you eat properly is awesome.

          I’ve seen people of all races move in and out of their parents’ homes bc things just happen. My younger sister is living with me and the #bae now. I say if you have a good enough relationship with your family and it will help you financially no judgment here.

          • Neptunes presents The Clones

            Younger sister,noted. You have quite the body of work in accounting,very interesting

            • Rachmo

              Yeah for better or worse I’ve done a lot of random accounting. Gov con, private, public, loan servicing analysis. I love Excel long time.

              • Neptunes presents The Clones

                Hows your security clearance

                • Rachmo

                  Happily no longer active I believe :-) I’m doing every thing in my power to never have to do clearance ish again.

                  • Neptunes presents The Clones

                    Ever done any work with debt recovery companies ??

                    • Rachmo

                      No sir

          • Medium Meech

            If it was an option for me I might have moved home after college just to let my money stack. Not to live extravagantly, building up savings and paying off debt is a responsible thing to do.

            • Rachmo

              Definitely. I’d say the majority of people I know that moved home spend paid off debt and built up savings.

              • Epsilonicus

                People often forget that for the majority of Western societies’ existence, people have lived in homes, as adults, with their parents and extended family. It is only during industrialization and afterwards that a shame developed around moving back home as an adult.

                • Rachmo

                  Right this isn’t some “new lazy” thing.

                • LMNOP

                  Not just western societies either. The nuclear family is an incredibly inefficient and expensive way to live. Especially considering how many family units are headed by single parents.

              • Heavens2Murgatroid

                Gotta get that student debt (loan sharks) off ya back

            • b sweet

              “Not to live extravagantly, building up savings and paying off debt is a responsible thing to do”

              Indeed. I’m thinking of doing this, a cleanse if you will from the capitalist toxicity buildup, and to make up for the chance I didn’t take to live home and stack my cheese.

              http://www.forbes.com/sites/laurashin/2014/08/20/the-buy-nothing-year-how-two-roommates-saved-more-than-55000/

        • “the very thought of such a thing was and still is very much alien to me.” “Whats wrong with this picture?”

          Alien, and very American, and very ethnocentric. It’s not uncommon for different cultures to have multiple generations under the same roof. Mostly in Western societies do we see communal interdependence as a sign of shiftlessness. It actually makes more financial sense to pool resources. The only thing wrong with this picture is a lack of broad overview as to how different families can work out living arrangements and still function well.

          • You’re right, but there are rules and regulations to the experience. I think the reason it isn’t done here is a bit of a chicken and egg situation. There’s no real structure to how it’s done here, so there aren’t a lot of expectation to having a child come home. Because of the lack of expectations, things can go left in a hurry. In cultures where it’s acceptable for kids to stay home, there are also expectations on both sides as to what is and isn’t acceptable. I’m not sure you can just do that whole cloth.

            • Of course there are rules; there are rules when you’re a child living under your parents’ roof and there are expectations as an adult. I don’t think anyone disputes that. My pushback is against the wholesale derision against moving back home AT ALL, as if the idea is so preposterous as to never be done anywhere in these here United States. But it is. And since Alex quite explicitly detailed that he contributes to the household, I don’t see a problem beyond the “appearance” of him living with his folks. It’s like people WANT you to struggle rather than avail yourself of other means of survival.

              • I don’t mean rules in terms of who does the dishes as much as cultural expectations. That’s the real difference. In cultures where kids move back home, there’s some overall duty involved in it. There’s none here.

                • Oh, I see what you mean. Like an actual normative structure. No, you’re definitely right there. It’s not common here. And I think doing so requires either an open mind or a rock/hard place situation.

            • as an addendum, struggling for struggles’ sake is, in my opinion, stupid.

          • Obsidian Files

            Ms. Dara,
            What is this, National Geographic? I don’t care about what other cultures on the other side of the world are doing – In care about what Black Americans, here in this country, aren’t doing – which is getting back that true grit that made us great in the past.

            You have a very bad habit of going all over the place to include any and everything NOT to openly confront something.

            I was able to do quite fine for myself financially, thank you very much, by actually honoring those values and norms that have made America the envy of the world – hard work, thrift and prudence. My grandparents did it, my parents did it, my siblings did it, and I did it – and NONE of us were college grads, either.

            Funny that.

            Instead of finding excuses and an multicultural “out” to explain away dysfunction, fracture and failure in Black American life, we should instead clear out the cobwebs and do what actually works and is right. Then, maybe – just maybe – we might make actual progress.

            O.

            • “Ms. Dara,
              What is this, National Geographic? I don’t care about what other cultures on the other side of the world are doing – In care about what Black Americans, here in this country, aren’t doing – which is getting back that true grit that made us great in the past.”

              I don’t recall asking you what you cared about. At any rate, it’s terribly myopic of you. Also, seeing as Alex is of Panamanian heritage, it’s not an appeal to “multiculturalism” (Gasp!) but maybe just an acknowledgement that other customs work just as good as “tried and true” American ones. I never figured you for a wholesale buyer of bootstrap rhetoric, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you think the solution to an economic crisis is “grit.”

              Oh.

              • Obsidian Files

                Hello Ms. Dara,

                “I don’t recall asking you what you cared about. At any rate, it’s terribly myopic of you.”

                O: Wow, projection much, my dear? Let us count the ways, shall we? From my initial comment on this thread up top:

                “Champ,

                Maybe do but nevertheless the Sista named a powerful point. I was barely out of highschool when I mmoved out on my own more than a decade younger than mr hardy and I never looked back. This, from a blue collar brotha with just a highschool degree. I couldnt wait to leave home and be on my own I had a lot to prove. That stance has stood me in good stead lo these many years and I had less than zero desire or interest in wanting to move back home or even visit.”

                O: Fun question for Ms. Dara:

                Where does the word “Dara” appear in the aforementioned passage? If Ms. Dara concedes that the word “Dara” does not in fact appear in the above statements, what then gives Ms. Dara the inkling that yours truly was terribly interested in what she thought, when clearly I was addressing “Champ” and NOT “Dara”?

                Hmm?

                “Also, seeing as Alex is of Panamanian heritage, it’s not an appeal to “multiculturalism” (Gasp!) but maybe just an acknowledgement that other customs work just as good as “tried and true” American ones.”

                O: And I invite those who think as you do to go to those “just as good” places and put said norms and values to good use; as for the rest of us – and that includes the tens of thousands of people from foreign lands literally dying to get here – we’ll work with American values and norms, thank you very much.

                “I never figured you for a wholesale buyer of bootstrap rhetoric, ”

                O: That’s because, as I have been saying for quite some time now, Black Women aren’t terribly good listeners – nor are they terribly curious enough to ask questions.

                http://www.justfourguys.com/black-women-do-not-respect-boundaries/

                Are we learning yet? :)

                “but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you think the solution to an economic crisis is “grit.”

                No, you shouldn’t; I’m only doing what has proven to work.

                #BookerT.WashingtonWasRight

                “Oh”.

                O: Not to worry; I’m a patient sort with you duskyhued ladies.

                Any questions, this time?

                :)

                O.

      • “Ain’t nobody messing with my clique clique clique” – Champ

        • Neptunes presents The Clones

          Won’t mind messing with some of his clique though,the one with an arab name looks like her interiors are up to code going by her IG pics

          • *Opens VSB contributors in new tab*

            Shamira?

            • Neptunes presents The Clones

              Shamira ? She’s an islander of some sort ey,besides i think one of the VSS’s would put out a contract on me if i messed up whatever plans they had between her and PJ

              • God Shammgod

                *sighs* don’t make this a thing again

                • how did i miss this *emoji eyes*

                  • God Shammgod

                    i don’t know how many times I gotta tell yall that aint nobody checking for me, especially Peej

                    • Kema

                      Is this the opposite of hot todding? What do you call it? lol! I’m sure many of the VSB’s are checking for you and maybe some VSS’s.

                    • Shami out here Cold Todding

                    • Medium Meech

                      Yeah, it’s like a humbler humble brag cause she gets you to to do it for her. I think the technical term is an underprivileged brag.

                    • Neptunes presents The Clones

                      Noboby,really and the way you have such customized features.

          • Maya K. Francis

            O_o

    • LMNOP

      What’s more important in life than family? This sounds very nice to me, for all of them. And by 30, most of us have realized kids don’t stay young forever, and parents don’t live forever. He loves his family, they love him, and they have a home they are willing and able to welcome him into.

  • MR_415

    Its hard out here I understand.

  • jolly

    Gearing up for a trip home myself, yes to all of this and the culture shock post Latin America experience. I’m just worried about how my vegan before 6 healthy eating routine fits in with West African cuisine I miss so dearly. That and low cost mental health/therapy. Some universities host sliding scale services. Good luck!!

  • Neptunes presents The Clones

    it’s hard on these streets,thats how i ended up in fatigues partly because i wanted to take that risk and do it on my own. But in ****** the house prices were crazy so i saw to travel the world albeit mostly during night time,Nobody should throw rocks at this Alex dude because we all travel the path of the greatest resistance

    • Val

      London. Noted.

      • Neptunes presents The Clones

        You do realize alot of places have the moniker London right,it could be my call sign

        • Val

          I’ll make a note of that.

          • Neptunes presents The Clones

            I really wish my origins were not such a big deal smh

            • LMNOP

              Then you wouldn’t make them such a big deal.

              • Neptunes presents The Clones

                I never do you sweet bubble which i assume knows how to pop

                • Lea Thrace

                  you have a true gift. the ability to make ANYTHING sound untoward. I think I love it!

                  • Neptunes presents The Clones

                    Come on,saying you love it when am not even trying to do what you think i do.

                    • Lea Thrace

                      It’s a gift. Embrace it!

    • Agreed. You do what you must in order to survive. Though why won’t they just build apartment buildings in your city instead of those old council houses? But that would annoy the old-timers who think their right to maintain the neighborhood the same is just like royalty. ;-) It’s good to know things are the same on both sides of the pond. ;-)

      • Neptunes presents The Clones

        What pond,i never mentioned London

        • I never mentioned London either. I was referring to the UK in general. Throw in your mention of the mountain leader course, which is only a British and American military specialty, and you’ve told on yourself.

          • Neptunes presents The Clones

            Italy,Norway,Russia,the Polish Military all have versions on Mountain training,ahem.

            • You said Mountain LEADER not mountain training. The jig is up.

              • Neptunes presents The Clones

                Must have been a typo….

          • Todd,

            I’m narrowing down where Sahel is from. He’s leaving crumbs.

            • tgtaggie

              If you had access to one of those NSA satellites you could track him down with a IP address. Just sayin’

              • No need. If you let a man talk long enough he will tell you the truth.

                • Neptunes presents The Clones

                  Says the dudefrom NC

                  • I’m from South Carolina, Stranger Danger. I’ve been transparent on here.

                    • Neptunes presents The Clones

                      Aha,it was close enough

                    • lol he’s mentioned it before

              • Neptunes presents The Clones

                Pffft,like i would be that careless

  • Val

    Take your time and savor every moment of being with your family, Alex. Those memories will sustain you. Thanks for sharing. Ignore the trolls.

    Chick-Fil-A? Say it ain’t so! *sad face*

    • Neptunes presents The Clones

      Don’t be sad,it’s friday so make sure it’s not mediocre

  • I moved back home at 28 and in a month I turn 30. At first it was hard adjusting and there were moments when shame would cripple me but not one single member of my family contributed to that. It was my holding on to the picture in my head ‘of how it was supposed to be’.
    I am in a much better place but I am in no hurry to leave. I will move on when the time is right. My relationship with my parents and siblings is WAYYYYYY better than three years back and their support has enabled me to endure some of the darkest days that the last two years have presented my way. Their unconditional accenptance and love has humbled me in ways that I cannot explain so when some few negative people make disparaging comments it rubs off me like oil on water. They don’t matter. They are neither relevant nor significant. Your emotional, mental and spiritual health is far more important than living according to some preset standards dictated by some unknown ‘they’.
    Thank you for this post and all the best

    • You are a lucky bastard, you know that, right? :)

    • tgtaggie

      Take the time to be grateful for the time you have with them.

    • Yup. I won’t spell out more particulars of why I moved back, but strengthening my relationships with my family is very important. It really bothered me looking up on Facebook and seeing how MUCH my nieces had grown. Parent’s getting up there, with these old folk aches and other health concerns, but I’m just glad to be here to experience the mundane with them. This is a pit stop. When I say I came home to save my life, I’m not exaggerating at all. I’m enjoying my family and doing what I can to make their lives easier.I’m so good. Not even stunting a naysayer.

      • MsSula

        “Parent’s getting up there, with these old folk aches and other health concerns”

        This is the number 1 reason I moved back home three years. An accident had my dad bedridden for 2 months, and all the kids were abroad so we had to rely on extended family for help. I packed my bags the following winter and moved home.

        Enjoy the time with your folks. Money, fame et al are renewable resources. Time is not. It’s the most precious we have. Enjoy those empanadas and grandma’s cooking!

  • I left home at 18, by 21 there was no “home” to go back to. Walking across the stage and into debt and homelessness and wondering what was I so excited to get away from. I never judge others who go back home or never left (okay if ur like 33 and never left that bish i got questions) because as I’m currently looking at 1 bedrooms in the city for $1300…..this ain’t whatchu want, at all.

    • Neptunes presents The Clones

      Which city

      • Boston

        • Wild Cougar

          Not to say that this is the case for you, but I talk to a lot of younger people for whom where they live is a big deal. They want “walk-able” communities, close to public transportation and all of the “coolness” that goes with it, including the price tag. If a lot of people, especially in the DC area, widened their scope of where they were willing to live and quit spending half their paycheck to be cool, they might have money left over to eat. If you actually visit a lot of those areas people talk bad about, you might find out it’s actually not as bad as its described. And the rent is much cheaper. Too many people are unwilling to explore, actually go to that neighborhood, ask some of the people what it’s like, etc. Even in crime ridden neighborhoods, there are usually nice places nearby that are pretty safe with all of the amenities that the “cool” places have.

          • Neptunes presents The Clones

            Kids who grew up posh cant handle the step down the ladder. They cant imagine no running water or secure parking,it’s that simple

            • Wild Cougar

              Listen Linda, I really don’t think it’s about being posh, (you’re a Brit. stop denying it, only Brits say posh)

              There’s an urban coolness factor here in the US that now, because of gentrification is where young folks MUST live, because city.

              • Neptunes presents The Clones

                Noted. And please do not join the band wagon of speculation

                • Wild Cougar

                  I ain’t speculating. It’s a foregone conclusion. No running water? Where in the third world they do that at? Secure parking? Nah, you not from the states. And then there’s the posh…..only Brits say posh.

                  • Neptunes presents The Clones

                    So do Aussies and island people

                    • Wild Cougar

                      Which Islands? Name em!

            • LMNOP

              No one’s talking about giving up running water here.

              • Neptunes presents The Clones

                Sigh,ok

          • thats a fair point, which brought me out to the suburb i live now. Now as I’m currently search, yes i’d prefer to live closer to the city but to your point im not about to spend outside my budget or live in a basement/attic or have 3 roommates just to be cool.

            • Wild Cougar

              I think a lot of young people need to quit pretending its the economy and rent is too high. They just want to live in the city and walk to Whole Foods and got their nose stuck up in the air about an apartment in the suburbs or in that neighborhood where the poor black folk live. And don’t tell me its the price of a car neither, they got buses in the suburbs, too.

              • Betty

                Well I got my head smashed in for saying this dude is a lame, but I think you made a better point than I did regarding why. It seems very entitled to move back home at 30.

    • LMNOP

      Damn, that’s really rough.

      • its been 4 years…im living better now coogi sweaters now

    • Wow…it’s cheaper in Queens than Boston? That’s serious. I was looking at 1 bedroom places for me and my daughter for $1000-1100. Then I realized that living in a situation with my daughter seems a bit R. Kelly-ish, and had to up the budget. Grr…

      • College students took over

        • I’ve heard that about Boston though. Plus it’s harder to just live further out because the mass transit system is jacked. It seems like Williamsburgh on steroids. Sorry man.

          • yeah its a mess…i see why theres a bunch of 30somethings still living with roommates like Friends

            • And ish like that is why I can’t mess with people who turn down apartment construction with BS like “preserving the neighborhood”. Ninja, you got put on when you were young, and now you wanna pull up the ladder using the government because entitlement? GTFOHWTBS. People will fight apartment construction, the complain about people living 30 to a house. [Appropriate ethnic slur] PLEASE!

            • Kinghenry2007

              that sucks

      • God Shammgod

        What part of Queens you talking about with a 1 bedroom for $1000?
        Those remote azz places that are closer to the LIRR than the MTA dont count. Gotta drive to Queens Village and ish. Thats redistricted Long Island.
        $1500 for a 1 bedroom in queens proper. $1300 if you’re a little further out.

        • Um, I lived in Queens Village. Also, I was looking at places in Jamaica for that kind of money. Not all of us are displaced Harlemites. If anything, living in Astoria would be a pain because I would be further from my family and friends. New York City is bigger than you think.

          ETA: There’s also the fact that the further away from Manhattan you go, the larger the apartments are. Since the bulk of apartments are in 2 and 3 family houses, 1 bedroom places are somewhat rare.

          • God Shammgod

            I’ve look around Jamaica for apts before. The average rent was $1300 for a 1 bedroom…hence me saying “1300 if youre a little further out.” Kudos to you for beating the system
            And queens village is far as f*** man. You can walk to long island.

            • You were getting robbed. My old studio in Jamaica is renting for about $900, though that’s on the cheap end. The median for a one bedroom is about $1100, though you can get one for $1000.

              Also for me, Queens Village was somewhat convenient, because it gave me easy access to The Bronx by car, plus it put me in the middle of all of my friends and fam in Southeast Queens. I just got kicked out because the landlord needed to renovate the place.

        • Kema

          In 2001 I paid 1200 to live in Queens Village. I assumed everything has increased. And aren’t most Queens places remote? lol! I grew up with my house shaking due to the LIRR.

          • I just left a $1400 3 bedroom spot in Queens Village. Maybe I’m just that good a negotiator?

          • God Shammgod

            Thank you! I knew I wasnt bugging. Sheeeeit its even hard to get a 1 bedroom in the BX for a G these days

    • Epsilonicus

      High rent and a racist a$$ city. Tuh.

  • Right now, I’m 6 weeks from turning 35…and 6 weeks since I moved back in with my mom. My landlord decided not to renew the lease in order to perform renovations. (Long story short, because of my ex-wife’s mental issues, she refused to let in the landlord to deal with some long standing issues, which now require major repairs.) Throw in the fact that I’m currently self-employed, and my income is as unstable as the Ultimate Warrior’s theme song, and it was either move in my mom’s basement or move in with my dad. Since I do have business interests that require me to stay in the general NYC Tri-State Area, mom’s basement it was.

    The thing was that a lot of people surrounding my daughter said it would be a good idea to move home, because my mom would help with child care and be a good influence since her mom isn’t around.

    With apologies to Val, Ha.

    The one positive of living at home with my mom is that I can go out at night while my daughter is asleep knowing someone is home just in case something pops off. Otherwise, I’m living more or less the same as I was otherwise. Cooking, cleaning, doing my laundry, taking care of my daughter. My mom didn’t want much to do with my brother and I growing up, and she’s taking that same approach to her youngest granddaughter. I am just trying to grind and either get a job or make enough money that a landlord won’t give a f*ck. I wish I could meet these people who are comfortable living with their parents. Plus there’s the fact that my mom is actively playa-hating on my dating, but that’s another story.

    • Uniquely Blushed

      no dating while living with your mom…..

      • Why can’t I date and live with my mom? And it isn’t like I bring women home, so she can’t complain about that. What gives? LOL

        • Uniquely Blushed

          okay you can date, just don’t sneak the dates into the basement. haha no home visit.

          • Hey, if I’m dating a woman, that means I like them. Why would I subject them to my mother before I have to? I only have women around my mom if I’m seriously hitting the #wegottogetha stage, and the woman gets suspicious about meeting my mom. They swear she can’t be as bad as I’m making her seem, though the few that have made that stage has seen how real it gets.

  • IcePrincess

    Alex, what is that pack of meat on the far right in the fridge? Looks soooo good.

    • Neptunes presents The Clones

      You noticed the pack of meat ey

      • IcePrincess

        Yep. Gonna put it in my bun.

    • Now that you brought up the image, i just noticed the petty a** post in on the orange juice

      • Damon Young

        that’s actually a pic i “created” in my own fridge for the post

        • #YourWifeNinja gonna get you for using her dish washing reminder post its

          • Damon Young

            it’s damon’s orange juice so i dont care

        • tgtaggie

          On another note, I just got my “I love bougie black girls” shirt yesterday in the mail. It looks better in person. Now I just need wear the shirt when there is an abundance of bougie black girls.

    • Damon Young

      salmon burgers

      • IcePrincess

        *adds salmon burgers to weekend shopping list*

        • salmon burgers are everything

          • IcePrincess

            See, I do homemade salmon croquettes, but I never had a salmon burger. I can tell by the picture that the texture is firmer than a croquet, and that’s better cuz u can use less oil & they won’t fall apart. So I’m definitely gonna switch. The foodie in me is very excited right now lol.

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