If I Give You A Kidney, We Pretty Much Go Together Forever » VSB

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If I Give You A Kidney, We Pretty Much Go Together Forever

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Typically, I’m not a big fan of owing people shit once a relationship ends. Like, I don’t owe you to wait before I jump into a new relationship with somebody else. I don’t owe you to not bang your mother if she puts it out there. I mean, I probably shouldn’t bang your mother anywa. But if the opportunity were to present itself, and I decided NOT to do it, it wouldn’t be because I used to date you.

I’m just not a big fan of owing people that you aren’t married to in relationships. In fact, the only thing I think that you owe a person you end a relationship with is respect from afar.

With that being said, if I give you a kidney, you will owe me the relationship we have for the rest of our lives, no matter how you feel about me. Basically, we’re gon’ go together until one of us dies. And since you was (probably) fixin’ to til I, kind of  like, helped undo that, it looks like we’re gonna have to ride that pony out for a good and long time.

OR until EYE break up with you.

Basically, the only way a relationship in which I extended your life through transplant or heroics should end is in death or me ending it. There’s really no other way you’re bouncing on me if I kept you alive.

Why is this a thing?

Well, on the Facebooks today, I saw that question that people keep referencing all over the Twitters about the dude who received a kidney from his ForeverBooEvenIfHeDon’tKnowIt, but realizes that he no longer loves her and is conflicted about ending things. Good. He should be. Have all the conflict. Be Gulf Wars I and II. Operations Storm and Shield.

If that woman gave of her actual self in THE most selfless way possible, you owe her to try really hard. You don’t love her anymore? That’s cool. Pretend, my nigga. Pretend. Pretend for as long as she needs you to pretend. Pretend until she gets tired of you. In fact, if you want out, you should find a way to let her get tired of you (which she probably is, but she gave you a kidney so she’s like, I mean, I kept this dude alive, I kind of owe myself to see if it was worth it, right?)

Real spit, I understand the dilemma. Who wants to stay in a situation where you know you’ll be miserable? That’s fair. And if the dude DID bounce on ole girl, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. People break up. It’s part of dating.

You know what isn’t part of dating though? Keeping people alive with your body. That’s love. That’s going above and beyond.

To be real, she was also in a precarious position. See, at some point it was determined that dude needed a new kidney on her watch. She got tested to see if she was a match because of course she did. Turns out she was. At the point she found out she was a match she couldn’t just NOT give him one if she’d be able to live with just one. You can’t just let folks die out here. That’s rude as fuck, b. She was probably thinking, if I give this cat my kidney, he bet’ not never leave me. But that’s also not realistic. She decided to put humanity over her own potentially misguided feelings.

Except was right. Because most of us are right about such things. Guts are real. Jenny Craig ain’t lie.

So now dude is ready to bounce, but he’s only there because she kept him alive.

Fucking good. It ain’t like he can give the kidney back. Plus, unless I didn’t want a chick anymore, I’d be SUPER pissed if she’s walking around with one of my body parts inside her (hehehehehe), buying herringbone necklaces and PG County Kevin Durant shoes for some other cat ONLY because I prolonged her life.

I’d be salty. And might resort to some pettiness.

Shit, I might feel that way even if I broke things off. HOWEVER, I’d be in the wrong then. If I give a chick a kidney, she better buy ME some KDs.

Point is, I understand the conflict, but just keep this in mind: if I donate to you a body part – I don’t care if it’s some marrow or a kidney or hook you up with some eyelash replacements or something – you might as well buckle up for this car ride until I’m ready to stop like Forrest Gump.

In the parlance of sagacious Cardi B, if I give you a body part, you gon’ be with me…FOH-EVA.

(Or until I’m done with us.)

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • Bruh… you better get right with the Lawd.. I ain’t got shyt for you.

  • Lego

    Don’t give away anything you can’t bear to lose. On the other side of that, every gift implies reciprocation of some kind.

  • Brass Tacks

    You gon’ be with me…FOH-EVA.

    (Or until I’m done with us.)

    Brass thoughts on any relationship he’s in.

    Idk, tho. If I give you an actual part of MY body, and you try to leave me. I might submit paperwork to get my body part back (I’m petty that way).

    • IwanttobeaRizpah

      Lmao!!!!!@paperwork.

      Wait iz you a Scorpio coz we vengeful like dat.

      • Brass Tacks

        Uh…Yea.

        Man, Do my comments really make it that obvious?

        • IwanttobeaRizpah

          our souls e-comnected, so therefore…..

        • miss t-lee

          Yup.

          • Brass Tacks

            But how tho. I don’t think my comments stand out compared to other VSB *cough ToddRewindCogitoMalik cough* and I’m certain only one of them is a Scorpio.

            • miss t-lee

              IDK. My sibs are Scorpios, and I’ve dated a few. It’s just something you know.

      • AnswerMe

        :( I’m not living up to my Scorpio ways. Need more vengeance…just takes so much energy tho

        • Brass Tacks

          I don’t know. I want to be on that “peace be with you” vibe, but It would require me fighting every urge in my synapses, just to not drop kick a bish on her way out the door for that type of fcukery.

    • Other_guy13

      Dude that’s premium petty….I like the way you f ish up over there…no h*mo

      • Brass Tacks

        Hey, Its what I do.

        I’m a lovable train wreck. But the root of who Brass is will always come from a good place. I think VSS know/sense that deep down.

        Which is why they tolerate my shenanigans.

  • Glo

    What I wanna know is if he was already feeling some kind of way BEFORE he got the kidney from her. If he went into that surgery knowing that he probably wanted to bounce afterward, that is low key evil.

    I can’t even fathom the levels of petty ish I would do if someone left me after I gave him a kidney. I would pull some Blac Chyna type stuff.

    • IwanttobeaRizpah

      I can answer for him, yes he was feeling some kind of way.

      • Cee~La

        And I don’t see anything EXTREMELY wrong w/ that. I mean, it’s life or death, I’d take the kidney also…I’m trying to live.

        • Glo

          You know, I’d take the kidney, too, but I’d do that knowing that this was locking me in for life.

          Unless the person I was in a relationship with was abusive, I really can’t imagine a situation in which I would accept someone’s kidney and then leave them.

          • Cee~La

            Yes, exactly! you just have to suffer through the relationship at that point.

        • IwanttobeaRizpah

          You gon unlove her or him after the donation. Yeah, ok.

          • Cee~La

            You just have to live w/ w/e happens after the fact. You’d choose death over taking the kidney from someone you don’t love?

            • IwanttobeaRizpah

              Yes.

            • HouseOfBonnets

              Nah that’s lowdown and selfish especially you know if we’re only boyfriend and girlfriend. If you know you’re having doubts you should be an adult and say so…..plus even if she denied him the kidney after finding out there are alternatives plus clear conscious.

    • LKNMRE

      I saw a photo on Twitter of the aftermath of a woman (allegedly) defecating in her hand and smearing it on her ex’s front door. If I gave someone a kidney and they left me, I can’t say that wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibilities.

    • HouseOfBonnets

      We’re talking blac Chyna before the (shudders) public reconciliation with the Kardashian women right? Because that’s the only petty I acknowledge.

      • Glo

        I mean, Blac Chyna’s long game is too real. She said, “Okay, father of my child, you’re gonna leave me for another child? Watch me integrate myself so firmly into that child’s family that they become MY family, and not yours.” That’s petty I’ve never actually seen before.

        • Brass Tacks

          That is some shade! I would almost feel bad but its tyga so he gets no sympathy from me.

          He’s about to be a step-dad/uncle? hybrid. What type of homunculous activities are going down in the Kardashian-Jenner household?

          • LKNMRE

            Nah, Tyga and Kylie broke up, allegedly, soooooo, Tyga ain’t got nothing to do with them no more.

            • Brass Tacks

              Wow lol Tyga just needs to fade into memeory.

              It shouldn’t be too hard. His career set the precedent, all he needs to do is follow the blueprint.

          • DBoySlim

            Homunculous. Thanks for the new word.

            • Brass Tacks

              No prob!

              #VocabGang

          • Nik White

            They’re trying to out do that Jackson’s mess…Jermaine and Randy(?) have kids by the same women and they all in the house together! Yuck!!!

            • Brass Tacks

              Something I don’t believe in, is shmanging my siblings ex. I don’t care how far removed from relations y’all are. I just don’t believe certain lines should be crossed.

              Your first cousin also being your half brother? Tha Heyll?

              • Mochasister

                Oh it happens. Believe me it happens. But I ain’t one to gossip.

        • HouseOfBonnets

          I mean there is no doubt of her plaque in the Hogwarts school of bitchcraft and wiggarty: Revenge in the key of petty arts division, but the reconsile took some of the fun out of the pregnancy announcement.for me.

          • Glo

            I honestly think that was part of the petty master plan, too. She’s like, “Oh look, Tyga, now that I’m about to birth the only grandchild that will bear the last name Kardashian, they looooooooove me. They might…they might even love me more than they love you! Isn’t that funny?”

          • Other_guy13

            LOL…I need a min after this one.

        • Other_guy13

          Petty level 6million

        • Ani-Q
          • Other_guy13

            See…ish like that is why I got trust issues….Rob is a pawn in a larger game of chess…I NEVER WANT TO BE A ROB….Saw what happened to his daddy…OJ gave him a sister…its a cold cold world and I’m getting my blanket.

            • Ani-Q

              No one should want to be like Rob.

              • Other_guy13

                He needed a praying grandmother

            • ChokeOnThisTea

              Rob is NOT a pawn. His eyes are wide open and he’s in on it too. He can’t stand his family either. Both he and Chyna benefit from this.

              • Other_guy13

                Oh how you are fooled…

                • ChokeOnThisTea

                  So you’re telling me you really believe Rob is not aware that she’s getting revenge in all of this?? They’re both getting revenge. Chyna is getting it on Tyga and the Kardashian/Jenners and Rob is getting it on the Kardashians.

                  • Brass Tacks

                    I’m not mad at Blac chyna. The Kardashians have been snatching brothas left and right for damb near a decade. It’s about time the tables were reversed for once.

                    • ChokeOnThisTea

                      Yeah, it’s pretty even too. Blac was like, “I’ll raise your black Crackhead and downlow brotha for one white obese sibling.” I ain’t mad at her. She was truly the victim in all of this and now her enemies have become her footstool. Won’t God do it?!

                  • Other_guy13

                    Dudes be dumb over the butt….thought you knew

                  • Rob is in on it but he’s hoping to have Kim show a facial expression at best. Chyna meanwhile is placing plastic explosives up under load bearing walls. If she has a boy and names him Robert Kardashian III, they need to add her to Mount Rushmore.

                • Kas

                  Rob is a pawn, and he and chyna benefit.

            • Brass Tacks

              Yea. I feel Rob took a major L in this one. I mean, The chick just had Future tatted on her hand this past fall.

              I don’t think Love works like that. But then again Hollywood is its own monster. Also, Tyga took another L because dayum.

              • Other_guy13

                She BEEN looking for a come up

            • Thankfully Rob doesn’t know he’s a Rob. He thinks he’s “in” on getting revenge on them. Thankfully Chyna is as kind as she is petty and will continue to let him think they are a team…

        • ChokeOnThisTea

          Ain’t she bad? And I mean that in a good way. Rob too. He’s just as much a willing participant in this too. Lol. I love it.

          • Mochasister

            Did he lose that weight?

  • Buster Cannon

    Ehhh…

    http://s11382.storage.proboards.com/5591382/i/MaavhoSg6MLn2voua6tg.png
    As harsh as it sounds, it’s kind of on her for donating a kidney to a significant other. Someone on the comments of the article made a good point; she’s giving him ‘husband privileges’ without a ring. Handing out body parts doesn’t entitle you to a relationship, no matter how much of a selfless gesture it was. Personally, I’m not giving a kidney unless it’s a spouse or immediate family member, and I certainly wouldn’t expect anything in return for it.

    • HouseOfBonnets

      While I agree with the majority of your point, I would expect some kind of gratitude and loyalty if donating organs to a spouse.

      • Mochasister

        Ninjas ain’t loyal!

    • Other_guy13

      Preach

    • IsitFridayyet?

      Five years and no commitment (engagement/marriage) threw me off as well.

      • Buster Cannon

        Right, you can tell that he’s not that attracted to her, yet she’s crazy over him.

      • Exactly! I also want to know, in what year did she donate the kidney?

    • LKNMRE

      Maybe they mutually decided to not get married. You can cohabitate and commit without a ring, y’all, it’s 2016.

      • Kas

        Live in sin?!! Clutches pearls

      • Nik White

        Yeah but if one of those cohabitants dies, the other gets bubkis and probably has to pay for the funeral and move!

    • L8Comer

      Word. It’s terrible, but I wouldn’t even get tested. God forbid your child, sibling, parent, or life partner needs a kidney one day and you gave your spare to a boyfriend?? Noap. Maybe if he had been on the transplant list for a long time and was on the verge of death would I consider that. My friends dad was about to give his kidney to his brother (who ruined his organs with drugs and alcohol) until her mom said she’d divorce him for it lol… Because what if one of the kids or she needed it?

      • Mochasister

        See, that doesn’t make any sense. Brother or not I am not donating my kidney to someone who abuses drugs and alcohol. What if this person continues to do drugs and drink after receiving the new kidney? That’s a waste of a perfectly good kidney. I don’t blame your friend’s mother for putting her foot down.

    • Mochasister

      The only person I could see myself donating to with no hesitation is my mother.

  • Ess Tee

    I’m so curious how one could make it not awkward to be the one in position to donate. Like, we sitting around, TV on in the background, talking about donors and whatnot. Do you just say (in various ways), “I hope they find a donor for you soon”? Just keep saying it without ever mentioning that maybe you’ll get tested to see if you’re a match?

    • refslady

      Donors can be, and frequently are, tested anonymoously. Actually even if someone tells you they are being tested, the transplant center does not tell the potential recipient that there is a match. My husband needed a kidney and a coworker was tested, was a match, called us and told us she was a match. The transplant center NEVER told us until I called them and said she (the donor) had told us she was going to donate,and that she had passed all the tests. The transplant centers never want any pressure to be placed on a person because s/he is a match, so they give up no information. So, yeah, someone could sit around and say, boy sure hope you find a match soon. Need a ride to dialysis today?

      • miss t-lee

        Hmmm. I never knew how they went about this process.

      • Ess Tee

        Thank you for this explanation. I never really knew the details.

    • HouseOfBonnets

      I would with a good I’m praying for you to show sympathy.

  • Ani-Q

    Well it sounds like he needs to figure out what pound of flesh he needs to give to her before he bounces.

    • LKNMRE

      I’ll take the testicles.

      • Other_guy13

        not equal value

        • LKNMRE

          You’re right. Monetarily, a kidney is worth ten testicles.

          • Other_guy13

            ummmm

          • Kas

            Not to a man.

        • Ani-Q

          Agreed

      • miss t-lee

        well, sh*t!

      • Ani-Q

        I am not sure if he has anything of value worth the gift of life she has given him.

        • Other_guy13

          His soul

          • Ani-Q

            Yeah. That would have been his love.

            • Other_guy13

              Smash a white guy and send it to him….his soul will die a little

              • Kas

                Smash his supposed to be main man and make sure he walk in on it. His soul will leave his body.

                • Other_guy13

                  That’s some Mortal Kombat Fatality ish…im not even that cold….im lying…I took out a sister or two…don’t judge…past life pre 25 n ish

                  • Kas

                    It happens.

      • PDL – Cape Girl

        Even swap aint no swindle

      • orchid921

        I’m taking the kit AND kaboodle. Eff that.

    • Losing body parts is one heck of a L to take though. Come on! That’s just cold!

      • Well, like I said, it’s the love and like thing (L&L Theory)

        If:

        Love = Like ——–> Ideal Relationship
        Love > Like ———-> “Passionate” Relationship (Can be abusive and blissful at the same time)
        Love More “business” like

        If Love and Like = 0
        ———————–> Death is a better

        http://media.giphy.com/media/5IKsrAbEcwrNS/giphy.gif

        • Furious Styles

          Stealing this.

  • LKNMRE

    I’d be willing to compromise. The cost of a kidney on the Black Market (I hear) is $262,000. So, just gimme a check and you can break up with me all you want.

    • Listen…just run me a check ay month and we good.

    • HouseOfBonnets

      You can google items on the black market?!? *Rubs hands like rick ross looking at some pears*

      • Jennifer

        Are “pears” a euphemism for something or are we acknowledging his healthy lifestyle change? I just wanna know what I’m laughing at.

        • HouseOfBonnets

          I’m giving him credit for healthy living while paying homage to his past lol (shirtless rosay for the win) lmao

          • Jennifer

            There’s levels to this ish.

        • Other_guy13

          Pear Shape = ^…curves…=heaven for black men…exhibit A.

          http://cdn01.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/headlines/2010/09/rihanna-bikini-hawaii.jpg

          • Cleojonz

            Yeah Rihanna is not really who comes to mind for me when you say curves. She is pear shaped though, more on the bottom than the top.

            • Other_guy13

              She has her moments

    • Kas

      Much cheaper in India

      • Tambra

        How do you know?

        • Kas

          I be knowing $hit. Why you in my business?

          • Tambra

            Knowledge.

            • Kas

              A friend’s father was looking into it some years ago.

              • Tambra

                KK. I know they sell parts in that region. Poverty is really a crime.

                • Kas

                  KK = ?

                  • Tambra

                    Ok *2

      • PDL – Cape Girl

        But is it any good?

        • Epsilonicus

          Depending on the hospital, yes

          • PDL – Cape Girl

            Too drastic and dramatic for me. If mine is going bad, just hold my hand while I step into the promised land.

            • Epsilonicus

              Many times, the hospitals overseas are just as good if not better. Many Americans are finding out they can get high quality healthcare for the cheap if they can travel overseas. Depending on your situation and what you need, it is worth it because the costs are so low. Many times it is not a risk; the only issue is funds to do the travel because the overseas hospital doesn’t cover flights and that kind of stuff.

              • PDL – Cape Girl

                I was really kidding when I initially asked…..

                I’m not traveling overseas but I do know quality healthcare is sometimes provided. My doctor goes to the Congo with Mutumbo and perform surgeries and provide women healthcare. Actually, my surgery was delayed a month because she was in Africa. She brought back pics and showed me just before rolling me into the operating room. $50 for delivery of babies and hysterectomies….and whatever other medical needs they have. She’s a really good doctor.

  • A.G.

    I feel like he (maybe not on purpose but it ended up that way cause who plans on their kidney failing) used her. Love will make you do crazy things, I guess.

    They weren’t even engaged. I don’t think I could do it.

    • He definitely USING her and trying to hide behind guilt. If he got that kidney cuz Billy got in a car accident im sure Billy’s mother aint getting a card from him

      • A.G.

        Wonder how long they been together…

        • Other_guy13

          Too damn long apparently

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