Idris Elba Deserves To Be James Bond, Because They Both Have Fuckboy Tendencies » VSB

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Idris Elba Deserves To Be James Bond, Because They Both Have Fuckboy Tendencies

Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images

 

Just the other day, some blowhard on the other side of the pond took it upon himself to state that Idris Elba shouldn’t play Bond because he’s too ‘street.’ Naturally, folks got ahold of the pull quote — I’m pretty sure Nicki clapped at him before handing back the mic — and he has promptly walked back his statements. We live to CAPS CAPS CAPS another day.

Now I’m not here to debate the racial implications of the word “street” as it relates to class in the UK – there’s already been 91,000 thinkpieces on it, and I like to keep it original recipe chicken whenever possible.* What I AM here to do is make the indisputable case that Idris is not only qualified to be the next Bond — he is perhaps the MOST qualified.

I think it goes without saying that Idris is an impeccable actor with a dynamic stage presence — Stringer Bell, Luther, yadda yadda yadda. (We’ve all absolved him of his brief stint in the Tyler Perry universe — I’m assuming he got hit with a tax bill from the IRS and needed some cash fast, and a Tyler Perry movie is pretty much the accredited Black thespian version of a Vegas residency.) He’s also a Brit with a debonair accent and a firmly established “smolder into the camera” look, all required prerequisites for any potential Bond candidate.

Also, he can wear the everlasting fuck out of a suit.

Point being, effortless tailoring is certainly part of the required Bond starter kit, and if there’s anything in this world a 6 foot tall Ghanaian can commit to, it’s a well-fitted inseam.

All that aside, that’s really not the most convincing reason  that Idris should be Bond.

Idrissa Akuna Elba should be Bond, quite simply because…

James Bond is a well-document fuckboy and so is he.

Take a second and let it sink in before you pick up the pitchforks and start throwing framed screenshots of Idris’ IMDB credentials, guys (If you think that folks haven’t reacted poorly to this, go ahead and take a gander at my twitter mentions). I know people recoiled at the word street — and parsing apart the true nuance of Anthony Horowitz is a task I’ll leave for someone else — but we should really come to a consensus on his true fuckboy essence. We’ve been collectively tiptoeing this reality for about as long as your favorite auntie has refused to admit that Luther Vandross was gay, but it’s time for us to move past this stage of denial. Luckily for you all, I am here to lay out the facts as following:

1. Idris is a Ghanaian who is taller than 5’10. There is no such thing as a humble Ghanaian who is also tall. Kofi Annan is 5’9 and promotes world peace — except when he puts his Timbs on and gets that additional 2 inches.

2. Idris is a former promoter and DJ – This should go without explaining, but nothing positive has ever arisen out of a romantic interaction with a promoter. I haven’t lived in Washington DC since 2012 (and was in a relationship for the bulk of my time there) and just last week I got an invite to see Bishop Magic Don Juan at Stadium. It takes a specific combination of devil-may-care ain’t shitness to be able to hit the ground running as a promoter, which Idris clearly possesses in spades.

3. While you may attribute the promoter shenanigans to a former life — Idris IS currently pursuing a rapper/songwriter career under the moniker Driis. I repeat – this man is 42 waiting for his musical content to pop off.

4. He’s a high school drop-out and former drug-dealer.

5. He was messing around with a reality star with a fake posterior from Memphis while his girl was barefoot and pregnant across the pond — and has a whole album subbing him to show for it.

6. Most importantly: he has a rather questionable relationship with lotion. He is LITERALLY an ashy motherfucker. At his current income bracket, the absence of cocoa butter in his life is an active choice and an inexcusable one.

All that fuckboy life experience to draw from? I can’t wait to see him be emotionally stunted and incapable of carrying a reasonable romantic relationship as Bond. I can see it now…*Bond girl texts Idris* “You can’t respond to text messages but you can get on Twitter?! I see the read receipts!”

I’m sure that 80 percent of the lady population would still go for a romp in the residue of Kimberly Michelle’s tear-soaked sheets. Believe me, I get it — my love for Serge still holds strong despite the knowledge of at least one secret child of his. That said, it is okay to collectively admit that were it not for his accent, talent and swarthy features, King Driis would be that fella on Twitter who constantly spammed you with mixtape links and got the immediate block if he tried to slide in the DMs.

*It really irritates me that original recipe chicken is associated to the KFC brand; if there’s any major franchise whose chicken recipe I DONT care to mimic, it’s KFC
Shamira Ibrahim

Shamira is a twentysomething New Yorker who likes all things Dipset. You can join her in waxing poetically about chicken, Cam'ron, and gentrification (gotta have some balance) under the influence of varying amounts of brown liquor at her semi-monthly blog, shamspam.tumblr.com

  • Yellow Tail

    Damn…I’m cheesin at work. I just looovveeee to look at that man! I however want no parts of an actual relationship with him because he is indeed a f*ckboy…I sweet eyecandy f*ckboy.

  • Umm, question.

    What is a f*ckboy? (Urbandictionary had way too many contradictory definitions)

    • Aly

      I was just about to ask the same thing. I think I have a general idea, but yeah, a definition would be nice.

    • mssporadic
      • h.h.h.

        *comes out of lurking*

        i read this and…i guess i get the article, but i don’t support the article.

        • PhlyyPhree

          Why? I’m genuinely curious

          • h.h.h.

            i get the point of the article. there’s a lot of ssaholes out there, and they make life for ya’ll chicks out here difficult. so letting women do what they want, own their choices, and not talking to them in public…good things. i get it and i dig it.

            but the tone of the article…just sounded like…it was written by a puppet. a yes-male. a male that bows prostrate at the feet and offers no talkback (for whatever reason). and it’s weird because i know a dude who’s like this now. i dunno, clearly i was born 94 years too late. but i know males and females…are different and there is this urge to merge them into some…borg-like mindstate that defers to the feminine due to the evil of the world being caused by males.

            i’d rather be a tiger, than a teddy ruxpin, that’s all i know.

    • JAC

      From what I understand from its originator Crissle of “The Read” podcast:
      1. A fuccboi–is a misogynist. He regularly showcases disparging comments about women but ironically does not live up to his own standards in terms of looks or actions. He’s easy to spot because he showcases every relationship red flag: no job/living space/prospects in terms of education or self-betterment; has a tribe somewhere that he doesn’t pay for; won’t call/text you until he wants to but stays on Twitter…etc.

      • Aly

        This doesn’t sound like Idris.

      • So, a synonym for a scrub?

        • QueLoQue

          An ain’t sh*t, lame ass dude. Tyga EPITOMIZES the word

          • Yeh but Tyga doesn’t matchup with what JAC is talking about tho…

            • JAC

              A fuccboi is kind of like a Scrub (version 2.0). Tyga does fit into the box because he did leave his girlfriend/fiance(?) but it’s overshadowed by his pedophilia.
              Chris Brown is another good example–he made a song about how “h*es ain’t loyal” while he was with the most ride-or-die chick ever, cheated on her, had a baby with a friend of hers, but still follows her on IG, and sometimes follows her around trying to get her back.

              • Jennifer

                The definition personified.

      • Val

        I think the definition has evolved.

      • panamajackson

        It’s amazing that a term like f*ckboy even has to go through all of this. I remember calling ignoramus dudes who did stupid stuff FBs back in the 90s. We used it to mean a dude who wasn’t about his business and on some otherworldy non-sense. It seems like a term where many many defintions can work.

        • JAC

          lol Yeah, but I kinda like it from a bougie perspective. It’s the epitome of intellectualism for AAVE.

        • Michelle

          I find it hilarious that there are 2520s out there, who are stating that fuccboi is a slur against transgender and also a slur for men who are victimized in prison. Then there’s the 2520s who will claim that their frat-bros were slinging that word around back in the days.

          For one male, white co-worker, I had to inform him about the actual term that we use (fuccn***a) after he passionately claimed that a bunch of white guys came up with the word. Of course I asked him if they came up with fuccn***a as well.

          Then he became aware of the seven Black men that were sitting around our table.

    • AlwaysCC

      back in the day, it was quite literal. that was the dude a lady called when she wanted someone to blow her back out. he was typically the “in between boyfriends” playmate. he may or may not also do random little things for you – pick you up some mcdonald’s, take out the garbage, etc. – nothing that would imply you were a real couple though

      • So f*ckboy used to be a synonym for Tyrone or the plumber?

        • Ta-daa.

        • AlwaysCC

          it was about 10-15 years ago…

    • I took it to mean b*tch a** ninja

      • AlwaysCC

        that’s what i understand it to mean now.

      • That seems to be where the consensus is at…lol, so I guess Idris Elba is a b*tch a** ninja

      • panamajackson

        This is the simplest and easiest to make sense definition.

  • Sigma_Since 93

    I’ve had this discussion on a CNN thread with some purists. Their quip is that the source material describes James Bond as white. My counter is that 007 was the title given to the best agent at MI6. Currently folks can’t divorce Bond and 007 from one another because they have been one in the same for so long.

    Idris can’t be James Bond but he can be 007; the best agent in MI6.

    • Cleojonz

      Are these movies even based on the books anymore at this point?

    • LogicalLeopard

      But wait, it’s not about race, it’s about accuracy. The source material also says he looks like Hoagy Carmichael. Which is why we’ve ALWAYS heard complaints about how Bond doesn’t look like Hoagy Carmichael right?
      Right?
      Cause….its…..it’s not about race. It’s not.
      https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/c3/Hoagy_Carmichael_-_1947.jpg/220px-Hoagy_Carmichael_-_1947.jpg

      • LogicalLeopard
      • Sigma_Since 93

        Correct which is why I pivot and hit them with:

        Englishmen – Check
        Naval man – Check since England has documentation of Blacks defending her waterways since the 1800s
        007 = the best agent at MI6 – Check

        So you have all the logical elements in place to make the movie and the problem is???

        I want Craig and Idris in the same movie for the hand-off. Bond dies and Idris is next in line and assumes the mantle of 007. If they did it that way, the purists can have the past but a new future can be built.

        • LogicalLeopard

          I like that, actually. Many people have preferred to think that James Bond was a title, not a person. And that was totally fine, until Skyfall established his identity. But that doesn’t mean that it can’t go back to the fan theory. It works so much better, in my opinion.

    • Epsilonicus

      I thought the name James Bond was kinda like a moniker. Like that may or may not be the agent’s real name.

    • Brooklyn_Bruin

      The source material also has your boy doing back flips with an Aston Martin.

      So ignoring the laws of physics is kosher, but changing a fictional character from white to black is treif?

      Them folks make up things just to keep me and mine out.

      But let us come up with something, like A^2 + B^2 = C^2 and they gotta rename the mathematics for Egyptian pyramids for some Greek named Pythagoras?

      Naw B, they stay tripping

  • MzzPeaches

    Why y’all coming for bae?

    *even tho your points are valid as h3ll*

    I feel like a kid getting told that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy aren’t real…

  • mssporadic

    I’ve been having a crappy day since missing my alarm this morning. Seeing Idris’s face though has made me forget my frustrations.

    I refuse to acknowledge his lapse in judgment with K. Michelle. It was a figment of her imagination…like her believing Drake would love her.

    • K Michelle can be charming when she’s not being extra

      • Sigma_Since 93

        The transplanted fat booty can be charming when she doesn’t open her mouth.

        • She’s refreshingly self aware… I just wish she would stop getting her body parts in installments

    • LadyIbaka

      That drake song was just a joke. Drake is not even her type. She like thugs.

  • Old boy’s thinly-veiled racist thoughts about Stringer Bell being Bond were bull on so many levels other than the obvious one. He used coded language of Elba being “street” as a detrimental characteristic . I’m willing to argue that the “street” element is what would make him a perfect Bond. Craig ‘s Bond is an unrepentant goon and Elba could continue that. Add in the fact that Craig and a former Bond, Remington Steele have all but said Elba’s the guy.

    • Sigma_Since 93

      Time is not in Elba’s side though. By the time Craig’s contract runs out, Elba will be closer to 50 than to 40.

      • Aly

        Wasn’t Sean Connery old when he was James Bond?

        • Sigma_Since 93

          What I like about Craig vs Sean is that Sean could fight a tribe a villains and not a hair would be out of place. Craig looks like he took a few but gave quite a few more than he got. All the action and stunts at 50 is rough.

          • Daniel Craig”s fight scenes often have him looking like they fought with meat cleavers. The most hands-on Bond I’ve ever seen.

            • They borrowed a lot from the Jason Bourne movies when creating the Daniel Craig version of Bond. The most violent movie he’d done before them was Layer Cake, which I still think is his best movie.

              • They had to ground him, the gadgets were getting ridiculous and even they made a meta joke in skyfall

              • Layer Cake was pretty damn good.

              • Layer Cake was a really good movie.

              • I look at the new hands on goon version of Bond as a reflection of our society. The prior Bonds existed in a Cold War world were massive spy intrigue sold and he fought ridiculous villains. This Bond bangs with folks who play dirty in a war on terror world so his nastiness has to match theirs.

                Think of it in comic book terms when in the mid 2000’s when Wolverine joined the Avengers. He’s a goon who joined because they were now dealing with worse goons. He simply didn’t fit in with them prior to 9/11/

            • PhlyyPhree

              He was the first bond that I EVER remembered actually getting dirty. Not bloody or bruised, but actually getting dirt upon his person.

      • Craig said he may cash out after Spectre.

      • Cleojonz

        I believe he’s said the next one will be his last.

      • LadyIbaka

        Black don’t crack last I checked. And the former Bond was way up I feel blessed in age, sooooooooooooooo, stop the madness!

        • Sigma_Since 93

          I don’t want to see bloated Idris running on the top of trains huffing and puffing out of shape (smoking will catch up with you) with his man muffin top hanging over his tailored dress pants. If it’s going to happen, I want Stringer lean and mean.

          • LadyIbaka

            You a fan boy too Sig? Oh shiiiid!!!

            • Sigma_Since 93

              Don’t make me fight you….I will sic my Coco on you and she will gnaw on your ankles so that you neva wear a pair of pumps again!!!!

              I don’t want to give the haters any fodder if the movie was (would only happen in a parallel universe) to flop.

    • It’s this messy, interconnected race and class thing that Horowitz was doing. Because he pointed to another Black British actor as one he’d prefer (if Bond had to be Black): Adrian Lester. If anyone watched Girlfriends, you’d remember him as Joan’s boyfriend, Ellis. Adrian is that bougie dude, i.e., the “good” Black (that’s my assumption where Horowitz was going anyway).

      • Sigma_Since 93

        He was good in Girlfriends but awesome in Hustle. The irony is that Adrian was gritty in Hustle too when he needed to be.

        • I need to get up on Hustle. Too many people have been talking about it this week, and I feel like I’ve been missing out.

        • AlwaysCC

          i’ve heard many recommendations about hustle. i need to check it out!

      • AlwaysCC

        he came back later and clarified what he meant and his explanation actually made a lot of sense lol he also pointed out that he is a writer, not a casting agent, and doesn’t know what the he|| he’s talking about in those matters lmbo

        • It’s still so strange to me because at the end of the day, it’s acting. Like, I get how some folks are, “Oh, you know I never saw so-and-so in that role,” but if they’re good at it, you should be able to get past it.

          Case in point: Liam Neeson.

        • PhlyyPhree

          I was telling my homeboy this last night. I heard his clarification and was like “Oh…The original quote was kinda taken out of context”

          My friend, of course wouldn’t let me get past the whole use of “street” which is interchangeable with urban and is codified language for black and synonymous with ghetto.

          But hey, that was his issue.

      • Isn’t the trademark of a good actor that they can slip and slide into whatever persona is needed for the role? One needn’t BE a “hood” to successfully PLAY one if they have the acting chops. I think Idris’ “street”-ness is really a non-factor, as would Adrian’s “bougie”-ness be. If the actor is worth casting, they will be whatever it is they need to be for the role.

        • Right. That’s why I was left scracthing my head. It just felt like Horowitz was saying dumb ish based off of whether he likes the men personally as opposed to what acting chops they would bring to the part.

        • mochazina

          THIS. cuz i’m not a fan of his and i’ve never known ol dris to be “street” cuz i never saw that Luther show/movie… i was baffled by the comment cuz all i see are these pics of him in bond-looking suits that other chicks are drooling over.

          • LOL Idris is about as “street” as Steve Carrell (sp?) Anyway…they BOTH played essentially the same character at one point (manager of Dunder Miflin Paper supply) soooo…there goes that theory.

      • LogicalLeopard

        Actually, I’ve got no fault against Horowitz. I expected that he was going in that direction as well, thinking that Adrian Lester was the “good black” and Idris Elba was the “bad black.” But you know, he said he based it off of seeing Idris Elba as DCI Luther. Annnnndd……yeah, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

        http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/moeexyz/21972405/58194/58194_original.gif

        http://media.tumblr.com/c67b0e288bdcf58ea44b3bc1648fbd0a/tumblr_inline_mftdb7BlNs1rrpsd7.gif

        http://oi56.tinypic.com/2hi9ee1.jpg

      • dmcmillian72

        WHAAAAT?! Adrian Lester…? HAYLED NAWL!!! I would never…NE’EH…in a million years see this guy playing bond.

      • LadyIbaka

        That other black British actor is like somebody giving you a quarter pounder from McDonald’s when you requested a STEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like who does that?

  • ?

    Im all for the Idris-fuckboy jokes. I hate when people use not finishing high school as a slight to anyone. It happens to Beyonce and I think it’s wack then too. Plenty of us college educated black folks were raised by hard working people without diplomas. Im never gonna be here for using “high school drop out” as a pejorative. But that’s just me.

    • Sageyk3

      I am with you in your defense of sobriety of judgment. Some of these folk get drunk on the ability to put others down for minor infractions/events. You may not follow my thoughts but I am in support.

      • Wild Cougar

        and got their pants all the way down when the boomerang comes back cuz they figured they would always be on the ish slinging and never receiving side of thangs……

    • I think it’s reflective of character, yes situations happen but I feel like in the first last say 20 years of your life you cannot accomplish that one thing it reflects poorly. Successful or not

    • Val

      On a different day I’d be agreeing with you. But today I can’t. Because satire.

      • panamajackson

        You are a scholar.

        • Val

          :-)

    • Totally off topic: How you get the eff word off in this post, yet my post in moderattion for trying to mask the word? lol

      • ?

        Lol. I was worried about that after i posted. I was surprised it got through too.

      • PhlyyPhree

        You can say fuck in the comments. Can’t say azz or secks, but fuck? We all here for the fuckin. It’s probably a different word that you didn’t even think would be the problem holding you up

    • PunchDrunkLove

      Agreed. The whole purpose of formal education is to know a little bit more, thus making a little bit more. But if Idris and other stars and regular folks are doing the dang thing, it seems stupid IMHO to hone in on this fact. I’m like annnnnd???

    • God Shammgod

      I’m surprised that I have to explain that the joke is one of a list of tongue in cheek statements…the point being that if Idris Elba isn’t Idris Elba, acclaimed actor, but Idris “high school drop out/reformed drug dealer/promoter/current artist/baby momma drama/lotion in absentia” Elba, a lot of folks that currently swoon over him wouldn’t give him a second shot. It’s no more of a pejorative as a middle-aged man who pursues artistic passions as hobbies.

  • Breezyx2

    I am not an Idris fan. He has the right level of chocolate, height, ambition, wit and sense of
    humor that I love but he just never DID it for me. But, these photos of him in these suits!!!!!!!

    Listen to me black me. Get your suit game tight and prosper. Look at this well fitted suit
    wearing gawd?!?!? LOOK.AT.HIM. Print these photos out, stick them on your fridge. This is the look. Damb. Not to mention he is well groomed. His facial hair is trimmed to perfection. I can see he smells like that fine balance of sweat, diesel and man essence.

    All of this equals yasssssssssssss and body rolls.

    • Aly

      Yes.

    • Yellow Tail

      Preach!

    • Val

      Lol@diesel

      • Breezyx2

        Val, you may or may not know this but methinks (and this is just my opinion) that every man has a little bit of a “diesel” smell. And this smell can be good diesel or bad diesel.

        Good diesel smell is that smell a man has straight after a thorough shower. It’s a clean fresh smell mixed with Cherry Jergens lotion, Axe deodorant, etc.

        Bad diesel smell is that smell where he just smells like wet turned soil. It’s that smell where you wonder if he is the only nuccka STILL working in the cotton picking business who happens to believe Suave 24hour deodorant really works.

        • Val

          Okay that’s for the levels of diesel smell lesson. Lol

        • uNk

          Axe deodorant #doe? Axe anything is blasphemey

          • Breezyx2

            Hush. I don’t know anyone real men that use it but you get my point.

            • uNk

              lol i knooooow…..I always try to have 4 layers of fresh…Shower fresh, good deodorant, nice cologne, fresh breath

        • mssporadic

          My lil’ bro used to where Axe; he smelled like he hadn’t bathed even though he had. Axe is BO in a bottle.

          • Breezyx2

            HAHA! My little brother swears by the their body wash called Dark Temptation. I am always buying them for him when I find coupons.

          • miss t-lee

            Axe is straight up Fisher Price my First Cologne.
            After junior high, that sh*t should be retired.

          • Cleojonz

            And why do Axe users always use so d*mned much! Choking the life out of my lungs.

            • Epsilonicus

              Middle school boys do this. When I was teaching, you would have thought Axe was their religion.

    • Sigma_Since 93

      I’ve been about that suit life all my life. I see your Idris and raise you Davidson Petit-Frere. If I didn’t have kids, my closet would be full of his suits.

      • Breezyx2

        Yo, look at the tailoring!!! Love this…all of this.

        • Sigma_Since 93

          I use his suits as inspiration for when I pick up accessories.

          • Im very much a solid color guy and I get creative with ties and pocket squares

          • You sir, are a good man. The Mrs. thanks the Lord daily I’m sure.

      • You should check out Ozwald Boateng, if you don’t already know bout him.

        • kimest3e

          Oooh yes. Ozwald Boateng.

        • El_Boogie

          Nana Boateng, too…thank me later. (He’s Ozwald’s cousin)

        • LadyIbaka

          I phakks with him although he only phakks white chicks.

          • Reasons why I can’t get down with him. He ain’t checking for me so I’ll pass. He don’t even get down with pretty yt women either. Womp womp.

            • LadyIbaka

              Who you telling!

          • MzUze

            And by that you mean hood stank ramen noodle eating reality “stars” as refereneced above? Im still blown by his choices in women. Its like when you like someone and find out their taste in music is whack. It dimmed the shine. I still wouldn’t look him directly in the eyes but from a distance, he’s just not the same.
            With all that said tho…one issue he doesnt seem to have is what you mentioned.

            • LadyIbaka

              My only problem with him is he is absolutely gorgeous. If he was fugly, I could give a phakk, they can have him. Unfortunately that is not the case.

              • MzUze

                Yea, yea. There is that. Lol. Go watch some k.michele footage. That right there…methadone.

      • *Swoon* a nice fitting suit is EVERYTHING

      • This reminds me of the FB page I “Liked” called “African Men Killing It.”

        (Don’t judge me. Brothas in suits. Brothas. In. Suits.)

        • SAR

          I get lost scanning that page…Love a brotha in a suit.

      • I love and stalk him on IG. I wish I had style and lived in NY :-( I’d get pregnant so damb fast.

      • Deez

        I find those cuts a bit overboard for everyday wear. Look at them flamboyant lapels.. looking like a lady’s skirt suit from the 80’s. No sir. That’s only excusable on a three-piece or dinner jacket (to the right). But I do agree with the general sentiment. Off-the-rack is whack. Wearing an ill-fitted suit is just tacky and borderline disrespectful, and I believe we American men ought to do better.

        Me myself personally, I prefer to rock the bold and ballsy..

        • Sigma_Since 93

          “Look at them flamboyant lapels..”

          Throws BS flag

          Peak lapels are not flamboyant!!! Most folks don’t know there are three lapel styles because they are accustomed to seeing notched lapels on just about everything.

          • Deez

            Lol. It’s not just the peak, it’s the size! Most of my suits are peak, but they damn sure don’t look like that. They are effeminate to me, and I just don’t think most men can pull them off.

            Don’t get me wrong here, my argument is: They look great, but just not for everyday use on everyday men. An athletic man will always look good in any kind of fitted suit. But I prefer understated any day.

        • LadyIbaka

          By you rocking the bold and ballsy you mean wearing that shiny ting that boy has on?!?!

          • Deez

            Lol. Yezir. We talking “cut” though, not color.

            • LadyIbaka

              Huh?!? Listen, God bless you. I am unable to fathom

      • PhlyyPhree

        Who is thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssss?
        Where is heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee???
        I want him. Them. Those.. Yes

      • LadyIbaka

        Dear Father!!!! Like, YAZ!! He is sooo damn mmmmmmmmhh.

      • Kim

        Well…Hello there.

    • Like most adults I love a tailored suit but can we also add that it’s impractical as h*ll to wear daily without looking sketchy

      • Breezyx2

        Absolutely. There is a time and place for everything. But when it is THAT TIME…make it do what it do Booboo.

        • I see a ninja at happy hour in a tailored suit I assume he’s pretending to be employed, maybe that’s just me

          • Breezyx2

            HA!

          • Epsilonicus

            Nope. I agree. Its a bit trying too hard. That ish only works in DC

            • PhlyyPhree

              I was just about to say, that’s all I see in the ureea.
              I went to Truckeroo about a month ago and was with my homeboy, who was dappered down in a three piece suit, pocket square and all. I just remember a group of chicks walking up to him and calling him ‘The Weeknd’ in a suit and then trying to amend it to Maxwell in a suit when he wasn’t amused.

              • Jennifer

                At Truckeroo? OK, that’s trying too hard.

                • PhlyyPhree

                  Lol. He was legitimately coming straight from work, only at the behest of someone else. It wasn’t intentional

            • Jennifer

              ::body-rolling cuz I live in DC::

      • miss t-lee

        These days it’s relegated to weddings, funerals, and formal events.

      • Either, I’m too much of a bumpkin or something but I’m not wearing a suit for suits sake.

        • Walking around like Ghost from Power for no reason… Shirt, tie, slacks it’s not that deep

          • I’m a fan of haberdashery and such but I haven’t had on a tie my brother’s wedding in February. The moment I put on a long sleeved shirt the sleeves will be rolled up. I’m a little hands on at work to for all of that.

      • LadyIbaka

        It’s not. You don’t let clothes wear you. YOU wear them.

        • You have to be diverse, you wear any look too much it’s safe to assume you don’t know any other ones

          • LadyIbaka

            no!

      • El_Boogie

        Depends on where you work, for some it’s their uniform

    • I prefer a hoodie and sweatpants.

      • Breezyx2

        That’s why you gonna get shoot.

        • I’ll get some when I hit my goal weight.

      • I wish you didn’t. You dress like a formally obese person who doesn’t yet understand how to dress their new, smaller, body. I don’t get it.

        • Well damn oh and formerly*

          • It isn’t an insult to Malik. He just refuses to wear tailored clothes and it irks me because he has the body to wear anything!

            • Breezyx2

              He does have the one of two body types that can rock the socks off a well tailored suit.

              • Doesn’t it just make you boiling mad???

                • Breezyx2

                  Yes!

            • Bleh, get a room.

      • h.h.h.

        #YouTheMan

        #EffSuits

        #IAintNoDandie

      • LadyIbaka

        That’s cool Maliik!!

        • o/ I get an extra in my name now and everything!

      • Andie

        I think everyone does. Like wearing a girdle. No one prefers girdles.

        • Breezyx2

          Can we as a community talk about girdles, waist trainers and body shapers? I mean when did these replace a healthy diet and exercise?

          • miss t-lee

            They didn’t.
            However, you do need shapewear when wearing a dress, it just makes you look better.
            Sadly, folks don’t have home training.

            • PhlyyPhree

              THIS!! My mother taught me that good foundation( slip, camisole, right underwear for garment, panty hose, etc.) is key to being well dressed

              • miss t-lee

                Yep.
                You were raised right. *daps*

                • Listen. I’ve tried. My body wasn’t made for it. I have no booty. None. So a body shaper doesn’t make me look proportionate, it makes me look pregnant. I’ve consulted many experts and they side eye my azz like “su’m ain’t correck”. And they’re right, I’m all wrong for it. A built in corset is okay as it distributes correctly sometimes, but that’s about it. And I got to say the nay-no to padding. I won’t fake booty for anyone.

                  • miss t-lee

                    Have you tried an all over one?

                    • Oh yes, in many a store. When I was getting married I was determined that of all days THAT one would be the one I looked as close to perfect as possible. One saleslady laughed at me. Laughed I say. I am not sure why but they make me look pregnant. Luckily my wedding dress was a corset back so it pulled it all in from the bottom up which is apparently how it has to be for me. My body is weird so I just buy ruched and keep it pushing.

                    • miss t-lee

                      Gotcha.
                      I’m glad you were able to have the look you wanted on your wedding day. ?

              • FILTHIER

                That’s a hot combo in California.

                • PhlyyPhree

                  Eh. I figure it’s kind of like the women who choose to wear burkas et all in warm climates. Its one of those things you just…kinda get used to.

                  Also I refuse to visit Cali again lest I also fall off into the ocean when San Andreas goes.

                  • FILTHIER

                    California is awesome. It’s Los Angeles that you can only take in small doses.

              • I hate panty hose but they really pull a skirt suit together (especially if I’ve neglected to shave). I still can’t get with slips though, nah

              • MostlyMax

                Also. Between her and my stoic West Indian aunties I keep a smooth line in a dress or skirt.

            • Breezyx2

              Agreed. I think most women wear a basic shaper of some kind under a dress. But have you seen those Macgyver contraptions on the interwebs and social media?! Surely this not the way Tee.

              • miss t-lee

                Hey…you do what you need to.

          • Brass Tacks

            +1 Breezy

          • And it’s like the arms don’t lie, you have an hourglass but it looks like two oars are attached to your shoulders

            • camilleblu

              *dead*

          • Sigma_Since 93

            When women didn’t want to exert energy or sweat our their hair, weave, sew in, clip on bun.

            • Andie

              Didn’t want to sweat out their clip on bun? LMAO

          • I would blame Instagram and reality TV but I can’t prove any of that. #dontforgetthedetoxtea

            • Breezyx2

              So I am going to be totally transparent and tell yall about the time I ordered some #detoxtea. Listen this thing promised me everything except the sun, the moon, the stars and the mountains. I was convinced it would make me great. Cut to 3 days into using that junk and all it did was make me develop the most intimate relationship with that one special room in the house. I was bamboozled…and eventually lightheaded, dizzy and dehydrated. #ButstillIrise

              • LadyIbaka

                *dead* say what now?!

              • Siante

                “lightheaded, dizzy and dehydrated”

                but those are all signs of detox, same thing happens when I go on my juice fasts- sounds like it was working- those kind of products do require ALOT of water though.

              • In the arena of fitness and healthcare I’ve come to understand that the term “detox” is an euphemism for “s*** your life away.”

          • Andie

            Personally I don’t feel like anything got replaced. I feel like things are the same. Names have just changed. And people can buy them on social media.

            • Whats changed is the instant gratification of social media. Why even try for anything when you can just fake it snap a picture and it’s there for eternity

              • Andie

                I agree that works if you never go outside and interact with people.

              • Instagram “models” basically.

            • Breezyx2

              True

          • When men decided that they enjoyed women who did these things openly so other women followed to get the same male attention.

            • miss t-lee

              Uh oh…lol!

              • I should have amended that comment to include insecure women specifically but….ehhh

                • miss t-lee

                  LOL

            • It started off well, at first it was just women deciding to go natural and actually go to the gym… Now it’s ponzi schemes and pancreas crushing

              • FILTHIER

                I think that men want to control what they see on all women, whether or not they are going to contribute anything to their lives. This isn’t The Box, music video you control. Well, actually it is. But if you don’t call in and pay you have to watch whatever the heck is on.

            • FILTHIER

              Maybe. Some people are just decorative. Peacocks.

          • Pinks

            I saw a meme the other day that says waist trainers have ruined hugs. Chicks used to feel soft and now it’s like hugging the police. I died quietly.

            • Breezyx2

              Men think they are hugging a succulent sister only to find out it’s really Robocop dressed in drag.

              • Pinks

                I think I can feel some men when they say they’re getting tricked. Waist trainers, weave, nails, eyelashes, implants, butt injections – it’s like the beauty industry is a build-a-body workshop

                • Breezyx2

                  We just all a bunch of Mr. and Mrs. Potato heads.

                • FILTHIER

                  Men don’t want nails lashes or weaves anyway. What man says she tricked me, her nails aren’t really purple, or her lashes aren’t really that long, without those this relationship would have never came about!

                  • Pinks

                    Plenty of em. I know men personally who value things like a woman’s nails and toenails matching, bra and panty set matching, consistently shaved legs, etc. There are dudes who prefer women have weave and look as close to the Kardashian prototype as possible – surely you must know this. Take a look at the fcukshit fcuk boys post on Twitter and you’ll be amazed at how shallow some nuccas can be.

                    • FILTHIER

                      That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying how can a man feel duped about nails not being real? Any man who feels betrayed or tricked because he dated a woman who wore nails and lashes and he finds out she actually had acrylic and shorter lashes has some serious issues. I could see breast implants but not eye hair.

                    • Pinks

                      Girl, ionknow you gotta ask them! Think about it – if you always look stage ready with a full set of Snuffaluffagus lashes on from the day he met you and you randomly show up with your natural joints, he could very well think your face looks different and thus feel duped. You’ve never heard of men saying they think makeup is sorcery because it changes women’s faces so much?

                      I’m not saying I agree with it, but it’s a possibility.

                    • FILTHIER

                      I have never met a man who said *Dannnnng you see the LASHES on that girl She’s like a baby DOE up in this club!*

                    • Pinks

                      Yeaaaaaaaaaaa me either. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t out there.

                    • FILTHIER

                      But who wants to date them? The men I date have to like my basics and not be worried about my accessories. Men need to let women just be women. I can’t be laying on my deathbed looking back on my life wishing I tried things but didn’t out of fear that men OR women might feel I was deceiving them with my body. Last time I checked I’m the one that has to live in it.

                    • Pinks

                      I ain’t got ya answers, Sway. Not my arena to be explaining the logic of fckboys. I’m just making the point that these men exist.

                      And they’re entitled to those feelings, however weird they might seem.

                    • FILTHIER

                      Men are too entitled when it comes to women’s bodies if you ask me. I don’t owe men sh**t, especially not control of my eyelids.

                    • FILTHIER

                      The guys on those kinds of websites don’t date at all, and are fairly angry at women. They are more likely to shoot up a college dorm than to get a date. It’s a disease.

                    • Jay Lane

                      I think these men might also prefer penis, tbh.

          • FILTHIER

            I have corsetted for 5 years. They don’t make you lose weight. I do it to mold my rib cage. But mine are made of steel bones and are the classic kind. Those rubber things girls wear won’t give you an hourglass figure.

            • Breezyx2

              I mean… aren’t you at all afraid that your womb is gradually moving up to your right ear?

              • FILTHIER

                Swallowed message.

              • FILTHIER

                Well, there’s not alot of documented issues with classic corsetting, though their are dangers….in the 1700’s they used to say it made women crazy, female hysteria so they would go to the doctor and get treatment for it. That treatment was massaging her lower quarters until she had multiple o’s, but of course it was a myth. But to be that doctor huh! Anyways my body feels fine and I corset down pretty small. To be a big girl.

          • FILTHIER

            Oh and I only corset at home. I would look insane if I did it in public.

          • MostlyMax

            Real. I see broads rocking them at the gym. I don’t know what to do with that. I have one of those velcro workout waist things but I wear it to keep my pants up when I run. True story.

            • Breezyx2

              At the gym? Wow, this mess has gone too far.

        • miss t-lee

          Hallelu.

        • Meh sweatpants aren’t my thing

          • Andie

            So what do you put on to watch a Lifetime movie and eat Haagen Daz? LOL

            • PhlyyPhree

              LMAOOOOOOOO. +4 for Andie

    • dmcmillian72

      “All of this equals yasssssssssssss and body rolls.”

      BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Becaaaauuuuse… #True

      • Breezyx2

        There are no lies in this statement. Tell me you didn’t at least shimmy when you looked at those pictures? Come on DMc,tell the truth and shame the debil.

        • dmcmillian72

          @Breezyx2, I shimmied just thinking back to those pics! Lol!

    • Siante

      this feels like blasphemyI am not an Idris fan.”

      this feels like blasphemy

      • Breezyx2

        Hush. Why are you not running Ma’am?!?!?

        • Siante

          I have been running almost daily, I’ve just been too undisciplined to record my miles<—–I'm not gonna sugar coat it—-but THAT IS ABOUT TO CHANGE! anywho……how have you been doing with your runs? I haven't seen you on the scoreboard?

          • Breezyx2

            You best look again!!! I just got back on it this week so I have 3 runs long so far. Come on now I need the motivation.

            • Siante

              alright!!!! I see you!!!!! You got me all embarrassed over my lil’ sad pace lol—- I am now *motivated*

              • Breezyx2

                Get your life together Siante :)

                • Siante

                  HAHAHAHA! I’m gettin’ it together Breezy lol

    • FILTHIER

      He’s got an egg head. I can’t get past that pointy egg head. I like good shaped heads. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/23a3dbb4ef954bbe95463442a1a7596a2bff557761f7bf4d1ee019ab14fd6b67.jpg

      • LadyIbaka

        Chile his head may be pointy and not perfected but when you got a whole album being dedicated to him, you know he puts it all the way down. So Idrissa Akuna muthaphakkin Elba, continue serving me eggs!

        • PhlyyPhree

          LMAO

        • FILTHIER

          The incredible edible egg…lol

          • LadyIbaka

            Which egg you talking about? His head up there or down there?

            • PhlyyPhree

              MAMI!!!!!

              *whispers*
              Either or if it’s as good as K.Michelle whined about

              • LadyIbaka

                giiiiirl, a whole album doe. Eggs must real tasty!

                • PhlyyPhree

                  All that protein. Builds muscle and firms skin. Yeainknow?

            • FILTHIER

              OOOoooooooo escandalo lol.

              • LadyIbaka

                uh, uh. Just seeking clarity.

                • FILTHIER

                  I’m not going to lie, I’d let him f##k me with a baseball cap on. Or a beanie. Or an afro wig. We can role play.

                  • LadyIbaka

                    Why are you being so shady? Afro wig?!?!

                    • FILTHIER

                      To cover the egg point!

      • Breezyx2

        I just hollered.

  • Cleojonz

    “Also, he can wear the everlasting fuck out of a suit. I mean, feast your eyes on this…”

    And this is all that needs to be said right here.

  • JAC

    All of this is true, but I’d be a liar if I denied almost yelling out “DADDY!!!” at the top of my lungs lol–Lawd, Idris in a suit.
    But on a serious note: The arguments against Idris playing Bond are so contrived. Before this, one of them said he couldn’t play because he fit the British persona enough (paraphrasing)–meanwhile this character “James Bond” has been played by Australians and a Scotsman.
    Is it too much for these people to just admit that they don’t want a Black British man playing an iconic (White) British book/movie character?

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