Imagine for a moment that you are President Obama. Of course you aren’t because if we pull out your wallet, it will not say “Bad Motherf*cker” on your license. However, for a moment, you can pretend to be.
Now imagine that while in the midst of being President Obama and doing something actually important, a staffer says, “um…sir, I realize that you are busy and I’m really sorry to have to bring this to your attention but, well, your friend Jay, um, Mr. Jay? Jay-Z? Well, he released a song called “Open Letter” talking about his trip to Cuba – which I know you didn’t have anything to do with, sir – but he kind of said that you did…I couldn’t quite follow, I’m more of a Brad Paisley fan myself…hey have you heard “Accidental Racist” by Brad and LL Cool J? I think you’d like it, sir. Either way, Well, CNN picked up the Mr. Jay-Z song and so did Fox News and well, you should listen.”
Obama: FUUUUUUUUUCK. Someboy get Jay Carney’s ass in here.
I’m a Jay-Z fan. Always have been. Always will be. I also wouldn’t mind if he were to fade into blackness with his beautiful songbird wife and stop rapping. I know lots of people like “Open Letter”. I am not one of them. I think its boring. It’s just Jay saying what Jay says: “I’m rich. I can do what I want to do. I know Obama. I smoke crack in the bathroom. I don’t really know shit about politics but I like to say things that sound like I do. I own things that I don’t really own. I could flood the streets with drugs if I wanted to. Y’all gon learn (everything you already know) today.”
Except it’s not nearly as good as it would have been 10 years ago. But he’s happy now. He’s got a child named Blue Ivy for goodness sake. Only happy motherf*cers and white people (who are generally happy motherf*ckers) name their kids sh*t like Blue Ivy. Clap for him.
Barack Obama is a powerful man. Jay has long compared himself to the top of any game. Jackson, Tyson, Jordan. Game 6. But my guess is that very few of these individuals give two f*cks about Jay-Z. Clearly they know who he is but Michael Jackson was too busy being Peter Pan to call him back after that “Rock My World” remix. Unless you’re Charles Oakley, I don’t think Jordan gives any f*ckes. And Tyson? Well, Bolivion called. He’s there.
But Obama? For some odd reason there seems to be a sincere mutual respect between the two. We all know that rappers want to be ballplayers and ballplayers want to be rappers. Well now that our President is Black (no word on the blue Lambo), there’s a good chance that we have a man in power who wants to be both a rapper and a ballplayer. Except he’s cooler than everybody else. So rappers of a certain cache, like a Jay managed to finagle their way into his good graces, likely via Beyonce.
Well, out of that “friendship” or whatever it is, Jay being the rapper that he is – status rapper – pretty much makes it a point to let us know how rich and famous he is nowadays and seems to namecheck Obama a lot. Which is cool. But it has to get old at some point right? If I’m Obama, and I keep hearing all these references to me in music, etc, I’m sure I’d probably be like, “give it a rest”. But its not harmful and not enough to cause any real chagrin.
Plus, I’m going to be out of the White House in a few years and likey trying to sign to Roc Nation. So you tolerate the incessant name drops and associations, which you couldn’t stop anyway. Plus, aside from Jay himself, it’s mostly other people doing all the ridiculous speculating. It was all good just a week ago…
…until you have to call in your motherloving press secretary to make a statement that Jay-Z didn’t get any clearance from the White House and went through the necessary channels through the Treasury Department like everybody else. Not only that, Beyonce recently released “Bow Down” a song that I’m pretty sure made Michelle roll her eyes like the Chicagoan that she is and take Sasha and Malia’s subscription to the Beyhive away. Now Jay drops his own version of “Bow Down” and I’m pretty sure Michelle texted Barack from across the West Wing with some, “Yo, tell your man to chill, B”.
I remember reading some uberstupid article in the NY Post (I believe) entitled, “Obama’s Jay-Z Problem” which ridiculously claimed that Obama’s relationship with Jay was irresponsible given Jay’s past. It was dumb because I’m fairly certain that given the nature of powerful people in this country, if you pull back the curtain, most of their associates are of the less than stellar variety.
But most of those people don’t have associates who run their mouths via songs that end up on CNN talking about getting clearance and selling drugs on the streets of the US either. Which would be enough to annoy anybody. Yes, Jay we know…Obama f*cks with you the long way, but now you causing the man unnecessary press conferences when he has real problems to have. Not stupid sh*t like that. And talking about hanging on the beach together instead of taking care of the nation’s problems…no matter how “fun” it sounds isn’t that appealing from the Obama standpoint. And since the song is a point of contention, well the scrutiny is all warranted.
Which for Obama, is a stupid f*cking problem to have. But a problem nonetheless.
So it got me to thinking, do you all think Obama is tired of Jay an the incessant associations, etc?
What do you think? Is Obama tired of Jay-Z?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. 12 MORE YEARS aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3