I’d like to call NTTAWWT on this whole post. Thank you in advance.
Yesterday, we helped the fellas figure out means for determining if they were dating a bustdown.
Chi-town stand up.
Well, today, it’s the ladies turn. For whatever reason, so many women swear they can tell if a man is gay just by looking at him or talking to him, etc.
Many women are wrong. Sure there are the guys out there who are essentially on fire and i’m not talking Cedar Block Piru either.
But those aren’t the type of men that most women are getting caught up with. Lots of men out there have a reputation and a lifestyle to protect. Those are the men I’m speaking of – the fellows who look and act like every other straight man you know.
So today at VSB.com, the most Panamanian of the Jacksons will offer up for you a few helpful tips to help you avoid taking the walk down the Green Mile with a chap who is probably checking out your momma AND daddy.
And this ain’t the list with: He drinks with his pinky out or wears lots of pink. Nope. Too easy drill Sargent, too easy.
We’re looking a little deeper.
Allons-y.
1) He casually makes references to how attractive popular male actors are.
This is kind of a deductive reasoning thing, so follow me. Look, I know that any secure ass man can make comments about how another man is put together…pause…and it not have to be gay. But most of us probably won’t because we don’t want anybody to be questioning our sexuality, gay men included. And we know that women know this, so in the event that we do make mention, we’re probably going to stumble over our statements in attempts to make sure you realize that we’re not gay. We’re men; we’re stupid. Sue us. With that in mind, any man who despite all of this will continuously reference how attractive they think Morris Chestnut or Will Smith are is probably sending you a signal.
If he tells you that if he were a woman, he’d sleep with Brad Pitt, well, my guess is he’d do it as a man, because he’s already thinking like a woman.
Capiche?
Capiche.
2) He’s up on all of the latest skin care techniques and body oils and such.
This one might seem a little sketchy but peep game. Men are masculine. We like to get clean and smell good…for the ladies (unlike shoes — which we get for other men to envy ). However, despite most of our efforts in this department, most of our skin care regimens are limited to soap, water, and cologne. Some men get manicures and pedicures and despite finding it a wee-bit suspect, I won’t call shenanigans there. But a brotha who knows his different Aveda cleaners (and I’m kind of assuming Aveda is a soap brand) and knows what exactly it means to exfoliate and does it regularly and likes to discuss with you your skin care regimen and he isn’t a dermatologist, well…ya know. F*ck it, any man who needs more than soap to fully clean and wash himself just might be washing some other brothas back on Tuesdays.
Hey, controversy sells.
3) If all of his favorite songs are generally by women, for women, and about women (a la Ne-Yo’s catalog), well he’s probably got a wide stance.
If your man gets uber-crunk every time “Single Ladies” or “Closer” by Ne-Yo comes on or even sings any part of a song that specifically references the term “girlfriend” with much vim and vigor, and with more than you, even while riding in the car, then you just might want to be wondering about him. Hell, if he actually likes all female rappers (most of them actually do suck — most) or if he gets particularly excited about Foxy Brown’s Ill Na Na, well, he’s probably gay.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
***BONUS***: If he gives a sort of wayward, slightly limpwristed dap AND ISN’T FROM DC.
For some reason, dudes in DC (under 21-natives) generally give some of the GAYEST dap I’ve ever seen in my life. If you’re in DC, just watch some local youth males dap each other up. It seems suspect, but that’s just how DC gets down.
Zing!
If he’s from other states or territories (including Puerto Rico, the U.S.V.I., and Guam) though, watch out.
It was written.
So, what else you got?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P
Please let me be first
Yesssssssssssssssssssssss, I am first!!!!
*doing the cabbage patch*
I’m half way through my New Years Resolution list. Now all I have to do is quit smoking.
BTW, I thought female rappers where extinct. I don’t approve of hitting a woman, but somebody needs to slap Lauren Hill one good time, so she can get her @ss back in the studio.
lmao oh eff i’ve missed you so.
@eff yo couch, i really have no clue what Lauryn needs at this point and honestly, I’m not sure I want to find out what shes got locked in her belfry either. i’m guessing the time of Lauryn has come and gone and all we’re left with is memories and empty promises.
@eff yo couch, lmao @ doing the cabbage patch.
@eff yo couch, you know I cant stand you
*sigh* I’s tired. But anxious to see how this will play out.
LOL excessive lip chap usage
on the real I have found that the ninja that gets supa dupa mad I mean choke you and yo momma out mad about the slightest hint or joke concerning his s.e.xuality is suspect
or men that only consider men gay if they “take the D”
thug dudes that are like seriously seriously all on Lil Waynes D
I mean they like Beyonce Stans but about Wayne
LOL @ lip chap! i miss saphyri…
All of that seems pretty accurate, especially the Ne-yo thing. I mean dude makes good music but it’s not exactly for a male audience.
I would add any guy who rents, owns or watches the musical “rent” for his own personal enjoyment and not for the expressed purpose of trying to impress a lady friend.
Somebody just got called out huh?
@MDUBB, aint nothing wrong with liking Song Plays or rent….LMAO
@MDUBB,
I actually rented that after I seen it parodied on the movie, “Team America World Police”
Lets just say I wanted to take the Odipus route ,with a rusty butter knife, after watching 10 minutes of that shty.
@eff yo couch, maybe I am biased I love it and force my husband to watch it and i like to fool myself into thinking he enjoys it….LMAO he doesnt…
@Shay-d-lady,
If watching it with you gets him some, then he’s a real man indeed
@MDUBB,
I’m sorry, I don’t think there is any Pu$$y good enough to make me watch that shyt all the way through. I might consider changing my mind for 2 chicks or Halle Berry,
@eff yo couch,
LMAO I thought I was the only one who rented that movie because of that Hilarious parody on “Team America World Police”
Rent is not a movie ANY man should be made to watch. If he’s not gay, that movie would trun him.
*Also include the musical Chicago*
Oh and
“Freedom Cost a Buk O’ Five”
@Dat Chick, I disagree about Chicago. I am a grown heterosexual male who just happens to like musicals. I performed in a few of them back in my high school and collegiate days. Yes, I have sat through a whole live performance of Rent but I hated that jawn, I’m not a homophobe or scared/ignorant about AIDS but it was just too much for me.
Yes, I have sat through a whole live performance of Rent but I hated that jawn, I’m not a homophobe or scared/ignorant about AIDS but it was just too much for me.
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other,
exactly! It was just too much. I still don’t see how you watch the whole thing
@eff yo couch, I watched it cuz i paid $300 for 2 tickets
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other,
Because you like Chicago, I e-luvs you. I don’t know why more straight guys don’t like it… its basically a burlesque show.
@blackberry molasses, my 6 & 7 year old neices got hooked to Chicago when they were younger singing the songs and dancing around. I love Chicago
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other,
Ditto. Chicago is an excellent movie and talks about gangsters at the end of the day.
Rent on the other end was just a bad movie PERIOD. Badly acted, just bad all around.
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other,
look at you–all grown and cultured and stuff!!!! i appreciate a man who likes theatre, esp musicals, which i love.
i think i have an e-crush on you, peyso *batting eyes*
@Gem of the San DiegOcean,
“i appreciate a man who likes theatre, esp musicals,”
The hypocrisy on this thread is crazy!!!!
— when in reality.. there would be a “Gyrrlll what do you think” round table discussion. Raised eyebrows and words like “suspect” floating around.
I loved Chicago … My man couldn’t stand it.. and in a way, I like that.
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other,
I LOVE CHICAGO! My sisters and I re-enact the Cell Block Tango all the time!
Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicerroooo! Lipshitz!(sp.)
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other,
“I am a grown heterosexual male who just happens to like musicals. ”
That is YOUR choice.. I specifically said “Rent is not a movie ANY man should be MADE to watch” and I included Chichago.
I know women who constantly try to feminize their Men. Thats just wrong.
also dudes that wear PERFECTLY Tailored clothing.. I mean its not extra tight, but I mean tailored to fit exactly their measurements no give at all and fitted jackets that dart in at the waist ala johnny boy legend…..
@shay-d-lady,
i agree AND …with THE most perfect accessories that you swoon over.
I bought a pair of driving gloves a few weeks ago. I think they are super sexy on women…but what the hel!l is a man doing with his fingers and knuckles out?? I MEAN REALLY??? I saw this the other day and i wanted to choke myself. Bring it down divo..bring it down..
@Princess Duvet, LMAO!!! not fingers and knuckles!!! yeah thats a bit murch…..
@Princess Duvet,
I saw that in GQ and thought to myself that someone out there was getting set up for failure with those gloves.
@shay-d-lady, what happens if you own a few perfectly tailored suits, not your wardrobe but just a few suits?
alot of dudes would fail this one….
No man should accessorize besides cufflinks, tie pin, lapel pin and watch.
i think tailored suits are a MUST for men. pah-lease do not walk around in a beautiful suit that does not properly fit your body. it’s ugly and disrespectful to suit and to my eyes.
other clothing?? i dunno about all that. jeans and polos should not be tailored. if you cant find it in your size/shape, you need to find a new style. period.
@Gem of the San DiegOcean, you know, there may be a difference between tailored and tailored “to fit”. like, i’ve seen some men who’s suit pants look like skinny jeans with thermal underwear under them…or like them leather pants Ross had on that he couldn’t take off at the chicks house. i’m all for tailored suits with a nice cut and fit…but at the point where you’re skin tight like an Ohio Player? just stop it.
@Panama Jackson,
Kudos for the Friends reference. The powder and lotion were hilarious…
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other,
“No man should accessorize besides cufflinks, tie pin, lapel pin and watch.”
So simple and so very very true.
@shay-d-lady,
I’ll have to disagree with this one.
I cannot stand for the life of me a man in baggy clothes. I just CAN’T. Get that sh!t tailored, and STAT.
Actually thinking about it just gives me shivers. Men, leave those pleated pants alone, and please do march into the new century where tailored clothes are the norm. Thanx much.
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,
since when are tailored clothes the norm? where do you live?
@Deviant,
Well, let’s chuck it to cultural differences… to be nice.
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,
Let’s not and I’ll wait for your answer.
@shay-d-lady,
i have to disagree… i love a man in tailored clothes… but i’m biased i guess…
@pgh muse, you guys misunderstood me.. I love tailored clothing but as PJ stated above tailored to FIT every single nook and cranny is a whole other issue..
On a major side note I just made a girl “break up” with me.
I love her but why does a brother have to make all kinds of deep long term plans?
I feel great that she got the “satisfaction” of disposing of my non-comital self. Hopefully it will empower her or something like that.
@MDUBB,
M’sorry to hear that. May ur recovery be quick.
@Resident GRitS,
I do feel a little bad about being a donkeys butt or whatever.
I’ve grown cold in my older age I suppose.
@MDUBB,
Don’t allow ppl to force u into compromising positions…if u’re not comfortable for whatever reason, it’s up to u to set it right. No one is more concerned w/ur feelings than u r. Audre Lorde said it best: “If I didn’t define myself for myself, I’d be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.”
i agree–if you didn’t wanna be with girly, you should have been mature enough to say it wasn’t working and you were ready to move on. i think as adults we need to be more honest with ppl and cut the BS. sure it might hurt some one’s feelings, but you can’t always salvage those anyway–emotions and logic are controlled by different brain region.
@Resident GRitS, i agree wholeheartedly, forcing someone to break up with you is a little cowardly..HOWEVER, we as women need to also know when to back the fyck off, ive always heard most of my life to give a man space and room cause he usually uses it to find his way to you..anyway..
and..
i dont want to be “possessed” either, and that which you hold on to with a death grip has a tendancy to want to be free of the thing that is strangling it LOL.
@Princess Duvet,
Preach!!!
@Resident GRitS,
LOL i remember that quote from The Best Man, its a very good one.
@MDUBB, oh uh uh.
“Hopefully it will empower her or something like that.”
Probably she’ll realize that what really happened is that you got tired of her ass, and she’ll bust yo windows. or something like that. lol
@charli skipper,
Good thing my cars in Italy and she lives in Florida.
But if I have busted windows when I get back to Italy, I won’t be surprised, stranger things have happened I suppose, when it comes to women.
@MDUBB, wait. why is your car in italy? as i get all up in your personal life….nevermind. lol
@charli skipper,
I’m in the military, that’s where I’m stationed.
Right now I’m back home in Florida on vacation.
This post is the reaon why P Jack is my fav.
That and the shared love of Donnie Hath….
When I wipe the tears of laughter out of my eyes, Ill give a few examples….
@Uninspired Muse, awww…thanks.
to be loooooved, to be looooooved, oh what a feeling, to be loooooooved…
*sang like Eddie Murphy*
@Panama Jackson,
Jackie Wilson did it better
BTW, THE SURE SIGN, WHICH I SAW AND NO IM NOT TELLIN THAT STORY.
An man who can self suck………Ill let the dots connect themselves naturally. He swore he wasnt gay though…
@Uninspired Muse,
…that’s both amazing and disgusting at the same time. probably more of the latter.
This list was mad easy too, PeeJay. Stereotypes. Truth in it all, but stereotypes, nonetheless.
I’ve been a-hem…researching [read: dancing w/gay boys @ the club] the gays in my city and I’m telling YOU all…there is no list. Some of us have gotten fooled big time! Some of the stuff I’m seeing w/my own two eyes!! Whew! You wouldn’t believe.
I’m trying hard not to side-eye every guy I meet, but it’s hard as hell w/some of these masquerading azz twinks out here. And yes, there is something VERY wrong with that.
@PBG,
Good point.
Just the other day I decided to put on for my city, and buy an expensive ass pair of Rock and Republic jeans, u know getting my Jay-Z on and what not.
In the store at the time was another black guy who I assumed had the same mission as I, until he walked out the dressing room all limp wristed and tanged up, talking about how the jeans were to long, and how they wouldn’t work with his “outfit.”
Men don’t wear “outfits”, lol.
Dude was more Gay-Z than Jay-Z I guess.
@MDUBB, i agree here.
if a man is talking about an “outfit,” then there’s a tang problem. (not that there’s anything wrong with that.) i broke up with a guy because i noticed that he had outfits going on. and a big booty. no and suh.
@charli skipper, I think if a man say “no and suh.” he might be gay too
@PBG, true true but every stereotype has a little bit of truth to it…so while some of the folks can fool some o the people..all o the folks will not be moved..whats done in the darkness will come to the light. LMAO
@PBG, GIRL You ain’t lying! I went to one of the gay clubs with my friends. The other straight girl and I posted up on the pool table by the bar and had it been safe, our jaws would have never came off of the floor but some of the butchy chicks was “looking too hard” so our faces were more or less twisted into a permanent “NOT HIM TOO” face. I mean, he was sexxy. Tall and chocolatey with a pretty smile…. twerking the piss out of some dude. I died that night wondering where had all the straight men gone, oooooooooo(know that song????)
@Ro, uh, are you having a paula cole moment?
@SouthernGirl,
ding ding ding… you win a bucket full of sunshine! Use sparingly.
@PBG,
Slow Clap. No wonder you’re BBJ executive assistant.
I think this list is shock full of stereotypes and/or address a very particular type of man.
The real Down Low dudes are too insecure to do any of that.
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,
DL dudes are TRULY down low. Under the radar. Camouflaged. Inconegro. Moving like palpable shadows through the fluidity of all the aspects of human sexuality. Playing tug-of-war with souls and the bodies to which they are attached. THEY wear the mask that grins and lies! You don’t see them because they don’t want to be seen.
Beware.
I love me some gay men. OUT and PROUD gay men. I can’t stand DL guys. Not because of their shared love of the peen w/me, but because of the deceit.
@PBG,
to say that i co-sign your statement would be like saying its slightly chilly out today. A gross understatement
***Diva Dust v. 2.0 ™ for the PBG***
@blackberry molasses,
I really love this new and improved for the oh-nine Diva Dust!! It seems much more brilliant than its predecessor.
@PBG,
me and the other research chemists were in the lab all the way up till New Years Eve to get the formula right… we needed twice the brilliance and sparkle without compromising the feathery light quality. The Diva Dust ™ Division of Sparkly Sistas, LLC is committed to quality!
@blackberry molasses,
Uh-huh. Just let me know if you kept your manufacturing plant in the same location. I got a deal with your stockboy. Bootleg Diva Dust 2.0 is gonna be HOT on the streets, son!
@Lil’T,
mmmhmmm… we’ll see ’bout that.
I found your connect. He’s been “dealt with”.
@PBG,
*throws pt-gold stars into bbmo’s diva dust v.2.0(tm)*
@PBG,
…that’s my favorite poem. Paul Laurence Dunbar.
@PBG, though i’ll cop to it being stereotypes, this is actually based on a few convos i’v had with some of my hombres, gay ones. no secret that the club i work at is a gay club on friday nights and i’ve seen some dudes that i’d never in a million years guess were gay. in fact, that’s a runnin convo with my female bartenders “did you see that one coming?”
usually the answer is no.
stereotypes aside, these are just a few of things that my gay friends have told me (though maybe reeking of common sense) that a lot of women THEY’VE DATED didn’t even bat an eyelash at. which kind of amazed me.
and one of them i particularly based on one of my actual really good friends…who dates women and men.
now is there a definitive list? no, of course not. if you’re gonna get got, you’re gonna get got. when you’re looking for something or interested in anybody, there’s plenty you’ll over look.
however, i like lists. so you got one. thanks and goodnight. lol
One sign that he might be gay is if his favorite show is “Queer as Folk”, and he won’t take phone calls or any kind of interruption while it’s on.
Another sign is if you walk in the room and find a d*ck up his butt. Too much?
Sorry, my creativity flew out the window.
@RedBeanzNRice,
“Another sign is if you walk in the room and find a d*ck up his butt. ”
Initially I read DUCK, which actually does not nullify this statement.
Carry on
@Intellectual Hedonist,
“Initially I read DUCK, which actually does not nullify this statement.”
*chuckles loudly* I’m not even sure which visual is worse.
Girl, now you got that damn Aflack duck quacking sound in my head.
@Intellectual Hedonist,
Initially I read DUCK, which actually does not nullify this statement.
Carry on
this might not only be the funniest thing you’ve ever written, but the funniest thing anyone from the state of rhode island has ever done
@RedBeanzNRice,
“Another sign is if you walk in the room and find a d*ck up his butt. Too much?”
dead …lol.
***time of death…unknown…***
…good-een to the vampires and sh*t.
I believe all the general observations have already been listed…but I have to agree w/the notion that a man’s wardrobe is usually an indicator of his sexuality.
Ex: a man who wears any kind of skinny jeans and those long-a$$ shoes. Now!…though my insight into the male psyche is limited, I know that he knows that we all know that myth about the size of a man’s feet. And b/c the skinny jeans are a clear indicator that he’s not checkin’ for me to watch his knots…he’s gotta be doin’ it for u, bruh.
@Resident GRitS,
ummm….so he’s supposed to rock tiny shoes if he has long ass feet?
hang on, hang on – what’s going on? yesterday the guys were given tips about how to avoid dating the village slag, (every mans worst nightmare) and today what we girls get is a guide on how to tell a man’s gay???? no, no, no man, this isn’t reciprocal, i also wanna know how to avoid the man-ho!!!
or isn’t it considered a problem that a guy’s bedded half the town??
just wondering at the disparity…
@superwoman
Excellent point!
What gives, VSBs??
@PBG,
I wish I was a man whore sometimes, word to Deuce.
My mack game is so weak it’s really a darn shame.
Maybe you should look for guys like me, whatever that’s supposed to mean.
@MDUBB,
Self deprecation=#3 in the elementary “How to Mack” pamphlet (still) being distributed on high school and college campuses nation-wide.
@PBG,
Zing! (<== did I use it right?)
@Resident GRitS,
yes you did.
HUZZAH! Well done!
@PBG,
I need a copy of that pamphlet, lol.
I swear on my momma I have no game whatsoever.
This man is committed to #3, lmao!
@8th Wonder,
yall crazy, lol
@superwoman,
“no, no, no man, this isn’t reciprocal, i also wanna know how to avoid the man-ho!!! ”
i do too..but you missed the memo ..men aren’t hoe’s they are “well coochi!e traveled” and “clitor!is connoisseurs”.
@Princess Duvet,
………………………..
@superwoman,
…I was also disappointed.
@superwoman,
The women I know that deal with male-ho’s usually know what they are getting into.
Translation: they know that he knows how to lay pipe!
@superwoman,
“i also wanna know how to avoid the man-ho!!!”
You can’t.
The End.
*giggles*
@miss t-lee, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! silly you!
@superwoman, “no, no, no man, this isn’t reciprocal, i also wanna know how to avoid the man-ho!!! ”
Go to star trek conventions or check your local dungeons and dragons meetings. Good luck! Wait. . . how do you define a man ho?
@IVR,
BWAHAHAHAAAA! this made me choke. I think ur right
@superwoman,
I love it!
@superwoman, though i tend to not like disappointing the masses, eh, such is life.
lol.
you actually think you can avoid a manwhore? and i believe we’ve touched on this before. most men are strictly out for the goods anyway so chances are the dude you’re interested in has hit off as many women as he possibly could before you got to him. now, along the way he met you and got caught up and went into retirement or semi-retirement.
there aint’ many signs of an actual manwhore b/c a lot of it would just be regular behavior. like saying hello to you (so he can get you naked) or opening a door for you (so he can get you naked)…
if you respond properly to even the slightest gesture, there’s a chance he’ll get you naked, and 9.8/10 men will probably attempt…unless he spends all of his time watching star trek re-runs from his momma’s basement, in which case he’d tell you to open the door your damn self.
or…
dont try to find a husband at all star weekend or carnival, or the bayou classic, or the essence festival, or anywhere else that millions of black folks congregate where ass is abundant.
just cuz barack’s a great husband doesnt mean you’re gonna find one at inauguration weekend, ladies. its a free-for-all then too.
@Panama Jackson,
“just cuz barack’s a great husband doesnt mean you’re gonna find one at inauguration weekend, ladies. its a free-for-all then too.”
this should be the insert in the washington post on inauag day…
@Panama Jackson,
most men are strictly out for the goods anyway so chances are the dude you’re interested in has hit off as many women as he possibly could before you got to him. now, along the way he met you and got caught up and went into retirement or semi-retirement
oh. dear.
@superwoman,
***hums Stevie’s Superwoman***I hate to break this to you (and also I hate believing it)..but what Pfiddy wrote is gospel. It is written on the scrolls and Moses helped him.
@superwoman,
de lurking to high five you. I am not all too worried about the sheman’s of the world, I want to know how to spot and run screaming in the other direction from the manwhores. I mean if it walks like a ho, talks like a ho, and it’s planting season then it shouldn’t matter whether they are male or female… ho is as ho does…
@Bajan Girl, even though i’m not sure forest gump would sign off on this –>ho is as ho does…<– welcome and sh!t. lol. *pt-gold stars*
You got me CRYING over here. You are SO far out of pocket! This dude deserves his own sitcom.
Ladies, if you fit his clothes and look GOOD in them, just pack it up and call it a day…
@Jarrod Halsey,
“Ladies, if you fit his clothes and look GOOD in them, just pack it up and call it a day”
Now see, I can’t agree with that statement, Kind Sir. Cause I look damn good in my man’s Pendleton shirts, and as far as I know, Pendletons have never been gaywear.
Gang related: yes. But gay: no.
i would be soooooo sad if i could ever fit my man’s clothes
@Jarrod Halsey, lol. i like to stay out of pocket son. bring on the networks!!!
Hi all!
I’m coming out of lurking for this one.
I was one of those women who dated an undercover brother. But I didn’t realize it at the time because 1) I was young and naive and 2) he was my first, so I didn’t know what was “unusual” about his bedroom behavior. (Don’t worry. I tried some of the same stuff with the next guy and he set me straight real quick!!!)
So what I thought was freaky, in hindsight, I now see as extreme gayness! But I never would have known if we never had sex because he didn’t show any outward signs.
Damn homie.
@Right Her,
Welcome!!!
**Diva Dust v. 2.0 ™**
@Right Her, *picks jaw up off the ground to proceed with welcome duties*
welcome and sh!t…*platinum-trimmed gold stars* for you. and a gaggle of hallejulahs for that come to jesus moment mentioned above.
the rest of the sparkly sistas should be along shortly. luvvie might be around to give you a tour of the corners if she’s done iggin’ it up for her birthday.
@Right Her,
Welcome to VSB, where the VSSs really run the show.
I have introductory ****glitter**** for you and your name will be added to the roll in the Prayer Cubicle because @ vsb.com, someone is always in need.
“so I didn’t know what was “unusual” about his bedroom behavior. (Don’t worry. I tried some of the same stuff with the next guy and he set me straight real quick!!!)
”
Im curious….please explain the “unusual bedroom behavior”…
@Princess Duvet, & Right Her
“Im curious….please explain the “unusual bedroom behavior”…”
Yes please, and preferably without making anyone lose their dinner.
@RedBeanzNRice,
yes…and subtract any rumblings about an#al beads..Karrine S already explained this with her ex in a vlog..its mighty “how you doin” .
@Princess Duvet, *head tilt* whaaaaa? i don’t keep up with this chick at all but….whaaaaaaaaa? with her man?!?!?
LOL @ “how you doin”
@Princess Duvet,
I’ve found that most men, black men, are ass men, and enjoying hitting it from the back. I’m cool with that. I understood that. He loved that. But then he started wanting me to play with his ass, and had the nerve to toot it up!
@Right Her,
i KNEW IT…I was already going there a minute before you posted.
he did not TOOT it UP??? lol
***oh medic..medic..save me.***
@Right Her,
“and had the nerve to toot it up!”
Ok, that made me belly laugh. *sighs*
But really? Play with his booty? smh. Yeah, that’s a bit much – even with latex gloves on.
@RedBeanzNRice,
I wonder if hetero black male @zz play is wraped up in some kind of prison fear? do straight 2520 men have @zz play phobias?
@Princess Duvet,
You know what? That’s a good question. That prison thing prolly has a LOT to do with it. I’m pretty sure 2520′s have a similar fear unless their name is Jim Billy Bob or some other equally redneck name.
@RedBeanzNRice,
im not tryna be some kind of frustrated se!x therapist, but when you think about it. there obvioulsy is a different sensation that a man feels when he enters a woman vaginall!y. So…is it possible for a straight black man to enjoy ana!l se!x from the perspective of just the diversity of pleasure and ana!l sensation.
**maybe i should take my @zz to bed**
@Princess Duvet, ummm…when you say enjoy, do you mean he would enjoy doing it to us or enjoy someone doing it to him?
even in all my liberal open mindedness, i don’t think i could be with a man who liked or wanted me to do that. how would that even go? am i suposed to strap up and hop on? are we talked manually? i just can’t.
cause that just seems to be a hop, skip and sassified jump to gayness. cause if i did it and he liked it, why not go pro or get someone who could probably do it better than me? *shudders*
@SouthernGirl
“even in all my liberal open mindedness, i don’t think i could be with a man who liked or wanted me to do that. how would that even go?”
Hey I was just playin (Dr. Sue (Oxygen Channel)) google her..youtube links are not workplace safe.
I’m arm chairing these theories…and I would def. be disturbed if a man asked me to get him some @zz beads. Now with that said, I was wondering on the way to starbucks…doesn’t ana!l stimulation imply a different sensation? So would it make a man “how you doin” if he came home with some @zz beads, ie Darius McCray (ana!l @zz stash discovered by Karrine on her vlog??)
@Princess Duvet, “Hey I was just playin (Dr. Sue (Oxygen Channel)) google her..youtube links are not workplace safe.”
thank sweet baby jesus. i was having a moment over here. i just feel a kinda way about this here nonsense. and i am quite familiar with sue
although i am still a little unnerved by little old ladies telling me the bidness…but then i get over it.
i agree that it’s a diff stimulation but i would really have to go all wendy williams on a ninja if he pulled those out. i mean, even if he was pulling them out to use on me, i’d still be wondering why you had them in the first place. cause i def. don’t want to be using some stuff you pulled out of your last chick. let me introduce the toys mmmkay? or lets discuss and go pick some out together.
i think the only acceptable toy for a man to pull out of his own accord is handcuffs….
@Princess Duvet,
i’m going to have to agree with you on this. I’m not saying that i wouldn’t look twice at a man wanting a little sexual diversity (anal play). I would… but I don’t necessarily think that it signifies homochexuality. He may just want to try something new.
@Princess Duvet,
It’s funny you say that.
That same old co-worker also remarked at the time that he wouldn’t have a problem in prison. I guess your on to something.
@MDUBB,
“That same old co-worker also remarked at the time that he wouldn’t have a problem in prison.”
oh wow…maybe i should be a se!x therapist.
@Princess Duvet, I saw an HBO Real Sex episode where a 2520 was with his girl at some fuckfest or something, talking about “Only real men take it up the ass”.
*Snicker*
@Right Her,
That is some disturbing but funny ish!
I had a male co-worker a few years back tell me he had no problem letting a girl do things with his butt.
I was like naw homie, that’s gay.
He tried to get other males in the office to cosign, they where all looking at him like, “are you effing serious!”
@MDUBB,
“That is some disturbing but funny ish!”
*sighs*
Can we get some poetic justice up in this piece for MDubb?!!?!?
MDubb, it’s disturbing ONLY. I hate to think that you really think it’s funny that our newly outed lurker had her first sexual experience with a “player from different layer”. (I just made that up right now – OMG I’m gonna be the next Longfellow)
But if you’re only talking about the booty tootin’ situation being funny, then yeah – you’re right. Cause that sh*t was hilarious!!
@RedBeanzNRice,
“But if you’re only talking about the booty tootin’ situation being funny, then yeah – you’re right. Cause that sh*t was hilarious!!”
***looks for donna’s summer’s “bad girl” on youtube…”toot toot ahh beep beep”***
@Right Her,
I almost threw up…cause I was thinking here about one of my exes who wanted me to put at d!ldo up his. Asked next beau and he said “Do NOT go near my as$.”
There’s my answer.
@Jac, woooooooooow
@Jac, I am so sorry to read that happened to you too…dude put my, um, toy…far into the never-to-be-mentioned space…I was dumbfounded, amazed, and saying, “I WANT MY Mommy!” In desperate need of comfort….*still tremmbbling*
Q- I was approved as a militant milf by one of the wonderful moderators…do I count as a lurker or/and newbie?
Personally, every time I hear or see a grown man use the phrase “no homo” I think he is more than likely trying to hide his true feelings. (That, or he is an idiot, and we should probably still stay away from him)
Men who are extra homophobic, all hateful and ish, are probably just afraid of anyone finding them out.
@N.I.A. isthinkingofamasterplan….,
“every time I hear or see a grown man use the phrase “no homo” I think he is more than likely trying to hide his true feelings.”
I agree. And, I also hate that term coming from women as well; ex. Erykah Badu is gorgeous – no homo. Really? You have to be a homo to compliment a cute chick? *sighs* It’s just annoying as hell, and ends up making you question whether or not they REALLY ARE homo.
Ok, so I was reading a magazine and Halle Berry was in there – very nice picture, too. I showed my dude the pic and asked him if he would leave me for Halle.
His response: I don’t get why everyone seems to think she’s SO attractive. Nah, I wouldn’t leave you.
My response: Sheeee-it, I love you and all, but if Halle wanted me, I’d leave YOU!
*sidenote* If I asked him the same of Gabrielle Union, my ass woulda been in a sling and left for dead.
Of course, I was only over-emphasizing that I’m comfortable complimenting an attractive woman. It shouldn’t be any different for dudes, unless they’re fanatic about it. Then that raises more questions than one should have to ask.
@RedBeanzNRice,
if it helps, i’d leave you for halle and gabrielle union. lol
lmao & smh
@RedBeanzNRice,
lol@*sidenote* If I asked him the same of Gabrielle Union, my ass woulda been in a sling and left for dead.
i think most women are cool with giving a beautiful woman her props. and that’s okay for us. but i think it hits back to that double standard for guys.
because though some men are comfortable enough to give a dude who’s got it together his props, he might still catch flack depending on the company he’s in. now this might be the suspect dudes deflecting attraction from their own demons onto the self-assured straight man but still. this is how the whole no homo thing comes into play, i think.
i don’t know many guys in real life who use the phrase. i tend to see it most in the web world. i never really use it either but the few times i have, have been in a mocking tone based on the ridiculousness of the need for the phrase at all.
@SouthernGirl,
ive read…on other blogs i follow men having man crushes on other male bloggers. Sort of like Kobe Kobe. I think thats kind of cute tho. and its completely hetero.
@N.I.A. isthinkingofamasterplan….,
I’ll have to cosign this statement.
That’s actually my #1 sign of someone on the Down Low. Yup, them extra “no homo-ing” dudes are the suspect ones.
Though some guys are easier to read than others, I don’t think you ever really know.
At the end of the day, homosexuality/bisexuality has everything to do with who you sleep with and nothing to do with how you dress, what music you listen to, what movies you like.
Somethings are also cultural: it is not uncommon to see men from the Caribbean or Africa dancing together in public. American men think that’s gay. European men wear tight jeans. American men think that’s gay.
Such nuances can throw the gaydar off.
@iloVEGrits, “Somethings are also cultural: it is not uncommon to see men from the Caribbean or Africa dancing together in public. American men think that’s gay. European men wear tight jeans. American men think that’s gay.”
I’d like to add Arab men to this list. . . during my time in the middle east escorting third country nationals I witnessed a lot of literal grab assing, lap sitting, dingaling swinging in faces (he got put off base permanently), and all kinds of same-same mess from a VERY large percentage of these men who were married with children, im sure some of them took that “women are for children, men are for pleasure” saying literally . . .but they couldnt all be g@y (NTTIAWWT). . . talk about culture shock.
@IVR, there IS a lot of gayness/tendencies in the middle east.
@iloVEGrits,
Exactly. Homosexuality is the attraction to the SAME sex as you. Period.
@iloVEGrits,
Well said.
I think my cultural background makes me look at all the things listed with an air of, “Are you serious?”
Homosexuality is defined as the attraction to someone of the same gender. Period.
@iloVEGrits,
Good point!
Oh, and I love grits too. With butter, salt n’ pepper. Sometimes cheese.
No sugar! That’s just blasphemous.
@PBG,
I’ll be a blasphemous loving sugar on grits eating somebody then!!!
Although I can just as easily not put sugar on my grits and be just as satisfied. But why when I got a suga bowl with suga in it?
I not if you guys would include this or not, so I’m just going to put it out there.
Yesterday it was said that EB’s and some female gardening tools know more men than the average female. Well, I was thinking that males with tang and zest in there system only hang out with either males just like them or more females than the average man would.
What do you guys think?
@eff yo couch,
My mother always told me to be suspicious of any man who ONLY hangs out with his boys. Her reasoning was that if a man didn’t enjoy female company on a more regular basis, there was cause for concern.
VSB P, I’m surprised you didn’t include lotion in your list of things men can use. Anyway, the list was good but I’d like to add “Wanna be thug dudes.” The dude thats always trying to fight for nothing and has to say pause after every statement for no freaking reason, yes you are gay (in the prison sense).
First off I have to say that my gaydar is ON!
Few hints…
He has more than 1 gay friend (male or female). Birds of a feather…
He has more female than male friends. Bonus points if 1 of those friends is a ‘Grace Adler’ and is always attracted to gay men
He “ssss-es”. Dead give away
He ROLLS his eyes. Straight men cut their eyes. Rolling is a feminine trait
He has more hair products than just some Dax and a brush
Openly gay men keep tryin to pick him up. Most gay men aren’t gonna try to pick up a guy they aren’t sure of. And most gay men have excellent gaydar
@Imperfect,
This list is SPOT ON!
I have a gay cousin who refuses to come out of the closet, and I chill with him a lot. Almost all of his friends are gay, he hangs out in a gay bar, and gay men are always trying to pick him up.
I wish he’d just come out of the closet already and get it over with.
@Imperfect,
Openly gay men keep tryin to pick him up. Most gay men aren’t gonna try to pick up a guy they aren’t sure of. And most gay men have excellent gaydar
this actually happened to a gay friend of mine, at a house party he was all excited,telling me how this guy was staring at him and giving him “signals”……..only to find out three hours later the guy was tonguing a girl in the back.
NOW I KNOW, his gaydar wasn’t off.
but damn.
That is when I became Acutely Aware that it is not safe in the streets anymore.
I felt bad for my friend,
….DL brothers not only hurt themselves but others as well.
A guy is closet if,
1. His eyebrows are perfectly arched/more groomed than yours (I dated this guy)
2. Is too freaky (same guy as above)… there is a limit to freakiness. If you are doing too much, I feel like you are overcompensating. LOL
3. Overtly straight posture: My friend tried to holla at this guy in Miami… I kept telling her something wasn’t right about him. He never said but I think he thought we were two leses anyway. Turns out it was Gay Pride week. LOL.
“For some reason, dudes in DC (under 21-natives) generally give some of the GAYEST dap I’ve ever seen in my life. If you’re in DC, just watch some local youth males dap each other up. It seems suspect, but that’s just how DC gets down.”
That’s a direct result of the lack of strong male role models in these boys’ lives. My Dad does not play that. He taught my brother to “enunciate and project” when speaking, look a man in the eye and give a strong handshake. Thank BBJ that he’s around to teach Ikey the same thing.
@PBG,
Exactly. I’m glad that was clarified because I can tell alot by a person by their dap. Usually real insecure dudes give weak handshakes. Thank goodness I had men in my life that showed me what was up.
Funny thing: Everytime I go to a mall or shopping center, be it Bowie or the Boulevard here in Maryland, I always see (or hear) a girl with a highly effeminized male. Over-accessorized, mohawk, colorful clothes, smackin lips, hand horizontal to the ground when walking SMH. I swear 15 years ago I did not see this many gay or gay-like males in the general population.
@CPT Callamity,
I think this is everywhere. I see this all the time in Boston too. And I saw it all the time when I was in school in NC.
@CPT Callamity,
Exactly. I’m glad that was clarified because I can tell alot by a person by their dap. Usually real insecure dudes give weak handshakes. Thank goodness I had men in my life that showed me what was up.
man, theres nothing that creeps me out more than weak or weird dap. it feels like theyre doing an experiment with my hand or some shit. dainty bastards
@PBG,
Yes, Lawd. What’s up with the mumbling men, shifting their weight, fraid to look someone in the eye….don’t get me started! It’s like if they can actually communicate someone will come along and accuse them of acting white and/or gay. Some of the younguns have their heads on straight, but too many of them associate looking and talking ignorant with “blackness” and “cool”.
Dang PBG – you got me wandering all off topic wit you…
@Lil’T, PeeJay started that mess w/his generalization. All youngin’s in DC are acting like spineless wussies and the ones that are, there is a reason for it.
@PBG,
Giving dap was never something my father thought was important to teach in his household. Plus, everyone from everywhere has a different way of doing it. As such, there’s three ways things go down.
One is to slowly put your hand out there watching the other guy until you figure out what they’re about to do.
2. Be uber alpha male like and just forcibly grab their hand and give yourself dap.
3. You both just give dap in your own way to invisible people just a bit to the right of the other person and call it a day.
In other areas, dap varies by perhaps city. In DC, dap varies by neighborhood. Heck, if some people aren’t careful, dap can vary in an individual family if two siblings goto different schools.
It’s a serious problem and I hope that Panama gives it the gravitas it deserves, rather than casting scorn upon us DC raised with scathing sarcasm and sardonic commentary.
@kamakula,
Three Stars, Two Bars!
Some of ya’ll need to actually chop it up with solidified and bonafide DC brothas like myself. I can’t stand my city to be misrepresented.
@kamakula and everybody else from DC who’s got a beef with my comment, good gracious. you all really need to get a grip. no pun intended.
so by me making that statement i’m casting scorn upon DC-raised with scathing sarcasm and sardonic commentary?
look, 99 percent of the things we talk about on this site can lend themselves to some sort of problems in upbringing or societal deficiencies. i acknowledge that, i’m aware of it. with that said, there really is a specific means that i’ve noticed a majority of the younger cats in DC giving dap and though i jokingly mentioned it (perhaps i should have put a big THIS IS A JOKE up there…though apparently I’m not wrong, i just shouldn’t have said it) i dont actually think they’re all gay. its just a DC way of doing things. and anybody that knows cats from DC knows that DC has its own way of doing everything.
but let me say this, people, everybody, seems to get really choosy with what they take issue with. this site is ALWAYS filled with sarcasm, assholish statments, and frankly politically incorrect generalizations and stereotypes.
hell, most of you all think Atlanta is the gayest city in the history of gayness (and that brothas from the A should all be possible suspects) or that MOREHOUSE is gay central and though i’ve jokingly defended it you dont see me getting all bent out of shape when people say that…it is what it is and i can take it b/c i can dish it.
maybe i interpreted the comments wrong, mostly kamakula’s telling me that i’m just offering scathing sarcasm, etc, but really people, don’t try to treat me like the white guy speaking about Black problems who’s not lying but just shouldn’t do it bc he’s white. either we go all the way PC or none-of-the-way PC. and from the tone of this site and the general convos and comments that get made here on a daily basis, i’m guessing nobody would come if we were PC everyday.
@Panama Jackson
Tell us how you really feel son……I feel you though.
I would like to point out that DC does have seriously alarming HIV rates, so maybe there is a correlation between limp hand dap and down low brothas. I kid I kid (but not really)
@Panama Jackson,
lol, wow. Apparently this is a touchy issue. . .even amongst the guys not from the DC area. PJ. . .my post itself was mostly sarcasm too.
Perhaps you’ll need to allow [joke] tags
@kamakula, perhaps i do. and i actually kind of thought you might be being sarcastic, but i decided to use that point to speak to a larger issue that many folks have had on here with selectively takign things personal. wasn’t necessarily directed specifically at you hombre…
@Panama Jackson,
hell, most of you all think Atlanta is the gayest city in the history of gayness (and that brothas from the A should all be possible suspects)
Well, that’s a generalization I am willing to stand behind.
Most newly un-closeted, former DL dudes I have met were from Atlanta.
I mean…
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,
The very first time I visited ATL, the VERY first person I befriended off the plane…a gay black man.
I know, I know…may not mean much really. But I’m just saying…what a welcome.
He was very nice though.
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,see? LOL.
If you’re on dudes computer and you see he likes to visit adam4adam.com…. well, hell thats all you need to know:-)
Or if he has Jazmine Sullivan’s I Need You as his ring tone
Happy Tuesday Beautiful People!
If he has Mac Lipglass.
I know a girl who swears her BFF isn’t ghey, but this dude wears Mac Lipglass, bought another “close friend” a suit, and refers to lady parts as “a wet gaping hole”. He’s also dangerously close to 30 and still has his v-card.
You tell me. The jury is out for her, but not for me.
I know the answer.
Oh no ma’am, that’s a no-brainer.
@miss t-lee,
Your friend is captain of a canoe drifting slowly down De Nile.
Her first mate? That gay boyfriend of hers.
@miss t-lee, dead@Mac lipglass
I have a homie that got a lil too crunk when Single Ladies came on in the club, lmao. I was like, ummm, *blink*
Other than that, he seems straighter than 9:15. What to think, what to think!
Come on now, wearing a lot of pink doesn’t make you gay. Pink is the new blue…and down here in Florida, pink is just another light as color that they can match their plaid shorts with.
No seriously though, I know several men who wear “salmon” because it looks good against their complexion…and I for one would have to agree. If women can wear blue then why can’t men wear pink…ugh.
And I can’t get with you on the taking care of your skin either. Some men, mostly those with money go to great lengths to ensure that their skin is just as flawless as mine. Having a skin regimine does not make you a chic. I dated this football player who even gave himself facial masks…now this negro was far from gay, but he shole was pretty, lol.
I can’t dig your list man…sorry. I don’t think straight men know how to point out gay men…stay in your lane buddy.
@Teacia,
“And I can’t get with you on the taking care of your skin either. Some men, mostly those with money go to great lengths to ensure that their skin is just as flawless as mine”
do you know that in some of those “skin care regimines” for men there are “tinted moisturizers”?? so where would you draw the line here…some of this stuff is glorified foundation/ makeup for men.
i dont know the cosmetic industry is really piss#in me off (and fascinating me at the same time) with this..and its catchin on with alot of men.
@Princess Duvet, lol..now a tinted mostirizer would make me feel some kind of way, lol
@Teacia,
i would tend to agree about hints of colors..there are ways for a man to experiment with color..matchy matchy yellow on yellow suits WRONG. Lavender, salmon, chartreuse..great for tailored shirts.
@Princess Duvet,
PBG Side-eye to any man describing colors as “lavender , salmon or chartreuse”.
@PBG,
add to that a BBMo “so-serious” side-eye and a mumbled “what in the zesty, tangy sweet ‘n fruity h3ll…”
@blackberry molasses,
and a damnit to hell, wtf neck roll
@PBG, LMAO! OKAY!
@Teacia,
I can agree w/u on the skin care regimen…I actually encourage it. But, something won’t let me be okay w/pink on pink. I’m also from Florida…and I still have a problem w/the pastel plaid. Don’t get me wrong, a man in pink collared shirt (preferably under a suit) can be a beautiful thing – I remember Damon Wayans pulled it off well w/jeans – but once we start getting into matching accessories and whatnot (the Cam’rons of the world), it tends to blur the line.
@Teacia,
I might have to agree. The only way a man can tell you if another man is gay is if he is gay himself. Every straight woman needs a gay husband to help out in this area. I’m looking for mine right now.
@Voiceofreason, I have my gay husband and our relationship is fabulous!!
@Voiceofreason, the last time i made a pitch for the gay husband tribunal here…it didn’t go over too well with the men’s including poobah.
@Princess Duvet,
Lol. I think I tried the same day you did.
@Voiceofreason, “I might have to agree. The only way a man can tell you if another man is gay is if he is gay himself.”
I dont know about that . . . had a roomate that I also worked with in the military that . . .
-Worshipped the ground Mary J. Blige walked on
-Was a 2520 and spoke like a stereotypical southern black woman
-Kept an immaculate house . . . im all down for clean . . .but immaculate? drapes/rug schemes? pier 1?
-Said the word giiiiiiiiiiiiiirl
-Cried for days when he was about to be sent to Iraq
-Had the AUDACITY to ask me if I borrowed his Natasha Beddingfield CD in front of people.
-Smiled WAY too much playing man on man defense during PT (think dave chappelle – Im not on your TEAM!)
-First Sergeant sent him to the BX for beer for a barbecue and dude bought back ZIMA
-Orders Malibu at the club . . and is probably dancing to single ladies (haven’t seen him post Beyonce h* carol)
-Justified all of this activity by saying he was a 25 year old virgin
Survey saaaaaays . . . .
@IVR,
Yeah, but that ish is sooooooooo obvious. I think the topic is more so related to things that don’t easily stand out. A blind 5 year old could’ve figured out he was gay.
@IVR,
That boy was as gay as a dayum Easter parade. Ray Charles can see that from the grave.
Why must I cry!
NOT ZIMA!
@Voiceofreason, I love my gay husbands. They are my AmEx… I never leave home w/o them on most nights. I run every dude by them and make sure nothing blips on their gaydar.
How about when the man in your life calls you up out of the blue one day at work and asks what the most suprising thing he could tell you is? And he proceeds to say “I’m gay.”
Of course, he very soon afterwards said he was kidding but um….no. Straight men do not go to all that trouble of a random phone call to bust that kinda news on someone as a joke.
So if a man says, “I’m gay”, believe him.
@Luvtheshoes, I forgot to add that he always did like Beyonce’s Irreplaceable and any and all remixes of that song….”you must not know ’bout me…”
@Luvtheshoes,
Today’s gay men worship Beyonce. Just like the generations before them worshiped Tina Turner and Diana Ross. I call it the “Diva Envy Syndrome”.
@PBG,
thats deep…fascination breeds impersonation.
@PBG
“Today’s gay men worship Beyonce”
SO TRUE. I believe her last CD (well the Sasha disc) was made ESPECIALLY for gay dudes. Seriously.
@PBG,
“Today’s gay men worship Beyonce.”
This is so true. The Sasha disc of her last CD was made ESPECIALLY for gay dudes. seriously
PanJack have you seen “The Cover” starring Leon. My friend girls and I saw it the other day. I tell you.
You just never know.
@Raqi,
Yes!!!! I saw that movie too and never would have guessed the ending!! That was just waaaaaayyyy to much for me.
“You have something in your eye.”
@Right Her, that movie is sooooo scary@me
@Raqi, no, i haven’t seen that…but Leon seems like he’d do good at playing a gay dude posing as a straight man (assuming thats the premise).
Leon just has that…look. lol.
What about if he laughs like Michael Jackson when you tickle him?
@Ivy St.,
so he got that Earth Wind and Fire Falsetto? But only when you tickle him. hm have his vocal chords examined. There is a certain anatomy only afforded by soprano opera singers (you know the ones that can hit that high c. The note that can when amplified crack crystal.) I have heard that these vocal chords are a little deeper in the throat.
@ Ivy St…
Now That is Funny…lol
@Jenna Marie Christian,
Thanks! I am for real though. I have a guy friend that has a weird laugh when “tickled” or touched in an unexpected manor.
Men that use the word “cute.” As in, “those shoes are cute” or “you look cute today.” In my opinion, the word “cute” is only acceptable when a straight man is describing a woman’s looks as in, “What do you think of Kim? Oh, she’s cute.”
And guys who are overly flirtatious. The type that always has something s3xual to say to a woman and is constantly touching, grabbing, winking, etc. It’s as if they’re trying to prove they’re straight.
And I almost forgot. If he….
-directs a choir (That’s probably obviuous, huh?)
-is perfectly comfortable with shopping in the men’s section of Forever 21 (maybe I just see that as gay)
@Voiceofreason,
“directs a choir (That’s probably obviuous, huh?)”
like Katt Williams in First Sunday…
and… THERE IS A MEN’S SECTION IN FOREVER 21??? nooo… that cannot be…
@laylah,
LOL! I don’t think all of them have a men’s section, but I’ve definitely been to some that do. I think it’s only XXI Forever, it’s slightly pricier stores.
@laylah, Yep. the one in Crabtree mall has a men’s section and half the male staff are all gay.
@Ro,
and half the male staff are all gay
Like 80% of dudes working in retail anyways.
I would like to submit the following supplemental signs that your man is gay.
1.) All of his friends are BBW’s or Mannish Lesbians
2.) When you see him out at a movie or restaurant he’s with another guy and a heavy set girl (or any girl will suffice).
3.) Extreme fatuation with large tays or boobies if you will.
@Jeandra, #3 is very anti gay
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other,
trust me, i know from personal experience about number 3. and besides, that’s why drag queens get huge fake boobs.
See, I am having a hard time with this post.
Weren’t the VSBs complaining about black women’s phobia of the Down Low phenomenon? But this post is a poster child for WHY this phenom is so prevalent!
A man who enjoys an.al sex is gay? A man who wears tailored clothes is gay? A man who uses products other than Dial soap is gay?
Come on!
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,
“A man who enjoys an.al sex is gay?”
Ummmmmm, yeah. He is.
@Voiceofreason,
As in giving an!al sex to his girl? Why?
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,
No, not with his girl. Breathe.
If they have to refer to this list to compare and contrast… then they already have their answer
If he drives any of the following cars and they weren’t given as a gift…
Cavalier
Civic
Anything made by Kia
And if he drinks Ameretto Sours on the regular he probably has taken a trip to brokeback moutain.
@Wood,
I would add cosmo’s to that list too.
@eff yo couch,
What if it is a cosmo made with Grey Goose… who could pass that up?!? He can drink it in a ‘man” glass if he wants to.
@Ivy St.,
okay new man rule
Cosmos and sweet flavored Martinis should can only be drank out of big @ss foam cups and made strong enough to knock a horse on its @ss.
@eff yo couch,
i would also like to add mimosas and bellinis to that list. if you aren’t at sunday brunch man, don’t drink that… even if you are… slightly sketch. i raised an eye because it was friday and night… and we were at a bar…. you chose a mimosa!?!? are you serious??
@laylah,
hey! theres nothing wrong with a brunch mimosa with pancakes and grits and sh*t. i call shenanigans.
@eff yo couch, I would add Shirley Temple to that. I knew a dude who would order that when he didn’t want to drink. And of course, spent mucho tiempo wondering if he looked gay for ordering it.
@Wood,
Add PT Cruisers to that list
@Wood,
I can’t agree on the car thing.
If the choice is between walking or driving, I’ll take any of those cars and whip it with the music turned up no shame head hanging out the window.
@MDUBB,
I said if they were given to you or something. Don’t get me wrong. Circumstance change things, but I meant if you willingly go out and buy one of these when there is a manlier option then I have to throw a flag on the play.
@Wood,
Thou shal not mix fruit and alcohol. MAN LAW!
@WuDaMan,
I second that motion. The motion carries. MAN LAW!
So it is written, so shall it be.
if he gets his eyesbrows waxed to arch and they are exceptionally neat. now, i appreciate a good waxing and trim on a man if he has the eyebrows of andy rooney… if this is not the case… this is slightly suspect.
As someone who was born in DC and has lived around DC for most of his natural life … I have no idea where this homo-dap is coming from.
Personally I think the title goes to New Yorkers. They almost always wanna come in for the hug … but maybe that’s just me.
@Single Black Male,
“Come in for a hug!?”
“Like a man embrace, arm barriers in between, your momma just died, we homies that go way back hug”
or a
“I’m so close I can smell the Cocoa Butter lotion you put on this morning, rubbing your back, I saw you yesterday hug?”
@MDUBB,
interesting exchange ..”the cultural dap norms of black man..who say whats up”…
btw..whats up between to italian men in italy is a kiss i believe.
@Princess Duvet,
In the part of Italy I live, near Venice, they don’t do that.
But when I was in Iraq, men kissing each other in the mouth and holding hands and hugging was very common.
I had the privilege of visiting the Baghdad Zoo while I was there to shoot a story and saw men running their finger through others mens hair and stuff like that, but they swear all day it’s not gay. Coulda fooled me.
@MDUBB, im not talking about the mouth tho..maybe its spain?? france??.a kiss on both cheeks.
@Princess Duvet,
Its a culture thing, in certain parts of Italy, Portugal, and even France it is an accepted practice.
I know my grown brothers still kiss my dad on the cheek as do my nephews when they see my dad. It’s a sign of affection and respect
@MDUBB, ““I’m so close I can smell the Cocoa Butter lotion you put on this morning, rubbing your back, I saw you yesterday hug?””
LMAO! WTF?
@MDUBB,
The “I’m coming in close to ya to show ya we cool … even though two men probably don’t need to get that close to each other if no one has died type of hug”.
@Single Black Male,
@Single Black Male,
“Come in for a hug!?”
“Like a man embrace, arm barriers in between, your momma just died, we homies that go way back hug”
or a
“I’m so close I can smell the Cocoa Butter lotion you put on this morning, rubbing your back, I saw you yesterday hug?”
@Single Black Male,
Right! I don’t get where the homo dap comes from either. Most dudes I know get it right. Now he did say under 21 but even with the youngins I used to teach they understood what it meant. Somebody’s been meeting some shaky dudes around here.
@CPT Callamity,
Yeah … I peeped the 21 & younger part … and I even know one (although he is from PG) and he has never homo-dapped me.
@Single Black Male, i dont seent it with my own two eyes. my girlfriend who is also born and raised NE DC had no clue what i was talking about until i pointed it out to her. now of course, being from DC, she defended what i saw to the hilt as not really being gay….or in denial about it…but i know what i seen. and i mentioned youth b/c i’ve volunteered in charter schools and programs geared towards helping DC youth (usually young men) and i just started paying attention to the way they dapped one another up. its more the approach on the dap. most of the older cats i know from DC, my best friend is once again DC born and raised (SE), and he doesnt do it at all and when i mentioned it to him he did acknowledge that it was a bit different.
@Panama Jackson,
I wasn’t that offended by what you said but describe what you saw. I mean, how was their dap fruity?
@CPT Callamity, sorry for getting to this so late, however the “dap” has a very lazy approach to it.
1. acknowledge presence of other hombre
2. move closer.
3. extend arm to the side (right side) about halfway between hip and shoulder in a “V” formation except hand is at a parallel with shoulder
4. while dapping up one another with V formation arm, walk away from one another, and then back into one another for hug…all without actually raising arm one iota
5. let go of hands in a very effeminate way without any closure on the dap
i’d need to put this up on youtube.
@Panama Jackson,
Do I smell a post on the proper way to dap someone up? Some sort of regional guide? I know our young blacksters are too cool for hand shakes, but at least get some standards on dap!
Oh, and I was watching Judge Judy one day with a young man and his dad. When the case was over these two began the most convoluted dap-up I’ve ever seen – there was a fist bump, a snap, a thumb over the shoulder, de-fogging the imaginary ring, a dance step and some more stuff. Seriously, I think they only agreed to come to court just to show it off.
@Panama Jackson,
I wasn’t that offended by what you said but describe what you saw. I mean, how was their dap fruity?
Manicures and Pedicures get a pass but washing your face with neutrogena soap doesnt!? Really? Naw I can’t cosign with acne faced brothas who just don’t care, keep that. I mean I guess if you are a pro at facial and skin care thats one thing but I feel any man who goes out of his way to buff his nails is much more suspect.
As for number one. I half way agree. If you are talking about smashing Will Smith then yeah that’s tropicana 100 percent fruit. If you are secure enough not to say pause every 5 minutes is a good thing. Real talk if I like a girl and I find out she is dating the hunchback of notre dame, I know dude is ugly. Same is if she is dating Morris Chessnut looking dude.
#3 is on point LOL
I just have to say that with all this talk of trying to ‘identify’ a man who is ‘trapped in the closet’ I am LOVING how google ads have popped up with “Gentleman’s Skin Quarters– A discreet place for high tech service facials, waxing and laser dermabrasion”
And I think I wrote my story up about doing STD/HIV testing in the bath houses here in Philly and how I run into men that I know are married on the regular in a previous post. Men who typically ‘behave’ gay or have ‘tendencies’ are not the ones ladies need to worry about.
Its the ones who engage in MSM behaviors, but DO NOT IDENTIFY THEMSELVES AS GAY. They don’t see their behavior as indicating they are gay/bisexual. They could be married, have girlfriends and completely commit to living the straight life, except for their ‘clandestine indiscretions’ with other men. They are BEYOND denial to the point that its almost a psychosis and their minds have done this in order to protect their status as men in the community/church/business world.
@blackberry molasses
Do the men in the bath houses tend to be of a certain race? Or are they across the board?
@V Renee,
All shapes, flavors and colors will be found at the bath house.
I would say that of those I see slipping their wedding rings into their pockets, most are Black/Latino men. But that’s just me eyeballing it.
I would say though, from my research P.O.V. the HIV rates among WOMEN of color who are married or in monogamous relationships tells part of the tale. Of course that doesn’t account for people not telling the truth, and the fact that reporting bias exists.
this is a test post~ I havent been able to post for a minut
this is a test post~ I havent been able to post for a minute
any male who comes on this site throwing diva dust & handing out gold stars.
blackberry molasses & southern girl may carry on…
@SouthernCharm,
Male elementary school & special ed teachers don’t get a pass?
@SouthernCharm, lol.
@eff yo couch, you almost made me choke on my gum
@eff yo couch,
cool… we’ll add male elementary school & special ed teachers and hollywood funeral directors to the exempt list.
@SouthernCharm,
I’m talking about Gold Stars of course. No excuses for diva dust
@SouthernCharm,
well,
thanks for allowing us (you forgot the 3rd party of the the SparklySistas conglomerate, the PBG) to continue spreading sparkly goodness about the VSB Universe… but ummmm…not like we would have actually stopped if you had said otherwise though…
@blackberry molasses, lmao! so true….but he was trying, in his own little twisted way to say something nice. i think.
@SouthernGirl,
now of course it was meant in a nice way! i knew i was leaving somebody out (pbg).
@blackberry molasses,
My glitter is representative of the Love of Jesus. Anybody can throw it to anybody else. That’s that all inclusive love right there.
@PBG,
come on nah girl. my sparkly love is all inclusive too… but don’t knock the hustle.
@blackberry molasses, lol. i think we all share the sparkly goodness out of love. right?
@SouthernGirl,
of couse. i just have delusions of grandeur and running some sparkly conglomerate with my fly ass power suit, prada heels and office with an amazing view.
in reality, i’m just running around throwing love and sparkliness to everyone i meet… because that’s me
@blackberry molasses,
lol. i love this–>i just have delusions of grandeur and running some sparkly conglomerate with my fly ass power suit, prada heels and office with an amazing view.
This has probably already been said… but I think, besides a blantantly out there brotha… the only clear sign of homochexuality is someone coming out the closet… or catching him in the act. otherwise u just don’t know.
All extra pretty ninjas should be placed under review. You can’t help it if you have naturally “pretty” features as a man. But if you go out of your way to make those things stand out………suspect.
Anyone rockin a S-Curl………..suspect. And I mean the actual kit, not someone with naturally curly hair.
Skinny jeans……….suspect.
Jim Jones…………suspect.
The list could go on forever but I ain’t got the time. Happy ’09!
@BigBuck,
Jim Jones passed ‘suspect’ a long time ago and moved right on over to having ‘zesty essence’. that daggone vid for “pop champagne” cemented it in my mind
@blackberry molasses,
NEWSFLASH…. Jim Jones is OFFICIALLY GAY!!!
He got into a fight with NEYO at the Louis Vuitton store on 5th Avenue in Manhattan.
If that ain’t a high-class slore fight, I don’t know what is….
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
@blackberry molasses,
BBMo, you are kidding. It just doesn’t get any gayer than that.
I dunno about Jim Jones…Gays are usually clean.
That ninja is Pigpen in the flesh, for serious.
*wink* @ The Champ…Thank Ya kindly
Anybody with an S-Curl in 09′ will be getting the side eye from me! It’s just something about a dude dying to have “Good Hair” that screams honeyroasted to me!