Happy New Year good people of VSB.com and welcome to the other side of the holiday season. ‘Tis the part of the season where federal holidays are aplenty and Black men become presidents of this grand ole land of ours.
For most people, the new year represents a time for personal observation and depression reflection. This is the time that most of us swear not to fall for the same pitfalls and dumb sh*t traps we landslided into in prior years knowing good and damn well that we’re going to keep making the same mistakes over and over. It’s what we do. We’s people.
Despite this human tendency towards redundant f*ckery, I (for one) still believe in this ability to learn and overcome like the good Reverend Doctor. So it is with great pleasure that I aim to help us all enter the new year in a state of educationed focus. You see, I believe that not only are children the future, or that if you teach them well you can let them lead the way — I also believe that if you have knowledge, thou shalt share it with the masses.
Each one teach one.
With that in mind, I shall be helping the fellows with a small segment of pride that we all are forced to face at some point or another: the fact that we just might be dating the neighborhood ho.
Oh John the Rabbit, oh yes. It’s happened to so many of our peers. And it could happen to you (don’t worry ladies, I have one for you tomorrow).
So here’s a short list of ways that you can tell whether or not you, as a man, are dating the Trollop International Expressway.
1) If she knows more men than you do.
Women are notorious for saying that they don’t like to hang with other chicks. We all know that this makes them EB’s. However, there’s also another alternative. Perhaps she’s just ran thru more men than Forrest Gump ran thru states. I mean sh*t happens and everything, but if she knows a man everywhere she goes, and her name isn’t Cheers, chances are she’s smoked more sausage than Jim Beam.
2) If she has a few places she ALWAYS tends avoid.
The only time in my life I’ve ever avoided places was when I had somebody I didn’t want to see. Now imagine a woman who had BEACOUP places she just NEVER wants to go for whatever reason. My guess? She’s got jones who’ve boned who she’s probably not trying to let know she’s got a new beau. Which doesn’t bode well for you bucko since more than likely, she’s just using you as one of many men on her Love Train. Coincidentally…
3) She doesn’t find anything wrong with overly lewd acts of pleasure such as, I don’t know, trains.
Any woman who’s on the “well it’s not so bad if…” side of a conversation involving more d*cks than a 1950′s detective movie is clearly not the kind of woman you want to bring home to momma. Or grandmomma. Or even your bookie. If she justifies it, that means she’s tried it. And if she let 12 hit (at a time), well you should quit (hey, that rhymed!). Lots of women have Rabbits, but if you find her on youtube with a horse (I refuse to put the “video” of the woman and horse up here), and you come to realize you’re dating her — just go kill yourself.
So as we start off the new year making sure that everybody here is on the right relationship track, what are some other signs that a guy just might be dating Lucy Loosethighs?!
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P
YAYYYY VSB is back. I was suffering from withdrawal. Rocking back and forth in the corner. It was getting rough out here.
Oh, and it’s my birfday and sh*t. YAYYYY!!!
Capricorns RULE!
@Luvvie, HAPPY B DAY LUVVIE I wish you all type of good ignants for your special day!!!
@Luvvie,
capricorns are pretty b|tchin!
@Luvvie, Happy Birthday. May your Christmases be bright.
@Panama Jackson,
Umm… sure, P-Money lol.
@Luvvie, Happy Birfday Luvvie hope its igg and ish!
¡¡FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS!!
@Luvvie,
Luvvie… here is a big pan of jolof, a platter of fried plantain and 4 bottles of Baileys….
oh, and a case of Guiness
the Spray Dance will commence at 10:00 AM EDT. Errybody get ya dollas ready.
@blackberry molasses, oooh I love the spray dance, let me go put on my tightest dress.
LOL @ and a case of Guiness
this made me sing “bet he betta have a 6-pack in the coolah”
You’ll take any excuse to sing that damn song!
i can’t help it!!
you aren’t even trying
you right. but why you puttin me on blast??
@Gem of the Ocean, she aint no divaaaaaaaaaa.
seriously though, tell me something.
where yo boss at????
Hey guys! Why have I missed ya’ll? And as much as Panama be triggerin my dormant ADD gene, why did I miss your randomness too???
you might be dating the neighborhood hofessional if any talk of stds makes her sad:(
and luvbug, happy bday my Ig-ga!
@notsooveritforthe09!, you need to sat down!!
i AM a diva!!!!! i done got so sick and filthy with benjes i cant spend (cuz i aint got em) so don’t be talkn sh*t like i ain’t been up in it, the #1 GEM up in VSB for a minute!!
@blackberry molasses,
oh, yeah, and you share a birthday with another phenomenal woman… my mommy
@blackberry molasses,
And my grandmother!
@blackberry molasses,
Jollof? You must be Nigerian
@tadenir,
First of all Welcome!!! **Diva Dust v. 2.0 ™**
Secondly… I’m not Nigerian. Luvvie is. I am Ghanaian. But we are still sisteren.
@blackberry molasses,
Jollof, plantain and Guiness, who’s the nigerian ???
@BBMo
You spoil me! You got ALL my faves! Bailey’s, plantain’s AND RICE??? *sniff* I feel loveded!
*Doing jig* Yes, yall. Let the spraying begin.
Spray deez.
Oh, and happy birthday.
@Luvvie, Happy Birthday!
@Luvvie,
Yay! Happy Birfday! Hope you have a great one!
@Luvvie, HAPPE BERFDEIGH
Happy Birthday!
@Luvvie,
***cue in Stevie***
Happy Birthday 2 ya! Happy Birthday 2 ya! Happy Birthdaay!!
@pgh muse,
I LOVE Stevie’s version of Happy Birthday!!
@Luvvie,
I too was suffering from withdrawals. U almost saw me on “Intervention.”
Happy burfday.
@Luvvie, Happy Birthday
@Luvvie, Congratulations on having another Uterine Escape Celebration!!
Here’s to hoping this is the best one ever.
@Suga&Spice,
LOL @ Uterine Escape Celebration
@Luvvie
??You know it doesn’t make much sense
There ought to be a law against
Anyone who takes offense
At a day in your celebration….
Happy Birthday to you!!!!??
P.S. – Thank you again for the suggestions. I had a GREAT time in Chi-town!
@ Luvvie,
HAAAPPYY BIIRTHDAAAYYY!!!
@V Renee,
Whatcha end up doing in the Chi, V Renee?
We went to the party at Flirty Girl. It was fun until they turned the music off and mofos got bored and started fighting. The fight lasted for at least 10 minutes….thank goodness they had the poles there to keep me entertained until it was broken up.
Oh and we couldn’t get a cab back to the hotel for the life of us when it was over. Thank goodness for the kindness of strangers. Jake the Snake, aka Care Bear, if you are out there reading this – Thanks for your Midwest hospitality. We truly appreciated it
@Luvvie,
Happy Birthday!!!
@Luvvie,
Happy Birthday, girl!
@Luvvie, hapeeeee bef’de, sweet loveness!!! hope you have a gas! missed alla you guys…
@Luvvie,
may your birthday be a very masculine birthday
@The Champ,
LOL why does my birthday have to be masculine?
@Luvvie,
I think he’s hoping I’d stop by.
Happy Birthday!
@Luvvie,
Happy Birthday chick!!!
@Luvvie,
HAPPY BURFDAY CHICKA!!!!!!
@Luvvie,
Happy Birthday!)
Could you do us all a solid and bring GK back for a lil while?
@Luvvie, happy bday.
@Luvvie, Happy Born Day Luvvie!!
@Luvvie,
Happy Birthday!
@Luvvie,
happy birthday from nigeria! *downing a calabash in your honour*
@Luvvie,
Happy Birthday to you, Ms. Luvvie! May your year be bright and beautiful and filled with sharp side eyes.
WELCOME BACK VSB.. im #2 oh yeah!
first, glad ya’ll are back.
second, love the use of “trollop international highway.”
third, I just have no words right now other than this entry tickled me so. be back in the morning. gonna actually try to be on time for my first day back at work and sh!t.
@SouthernGirl,
i second this emotion… therefore i should get my ass to bed
@blackberry molasses, ya know…and this goes for everybody, but I have to ask…
are people intentionally saying “second this/that emotion”in reference to the Miracles song “I Second That Emotion”? or is everybody just saying “i second that notion/motion” wrong??? lol.
even the song was a play on the fact that one of the group members erroneously said “i second that emotion” instead of “i second that motion” in a group meeting. which in most cases is also wrong.
most of the time, i’m guessing we mean to say “i second that notion”.
i’m just asking. i’ve read that on this site a cool 1000 times at this point and i’m wondering if its intentional (i’m guessing very few people are intentionally saying it wrong) or accidental (i’m guessing thats more the case)…
PJ wants to know.
@Panama Jackson,
in my case, i know what the right terminology is. we follow Roberts Rules at every quarterly meeting. i just choose to be an ass because I can.
@Panama Jackson, I have actually thought the same thing, but figured people were intentionally using it wrong OR it was just part of VSB venacular and I skipped class the day that was taught.
@Monk, lol…i thought i missed that day too.
@SouthernGirl,
Yea I shall be mainly absent today since I’ve been off work for 2 weeks. Figure I just may have work to catch up on.
Dayum I waited all this time and this is what I get…et tu pj?
@Shay-d-lady, hmm…always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
but mostly i have no clue what you’re talking about. et moi? what’d i ever do to you?
@Panama Jackson, made me wait all this time for a post I cant even get crunk on… dayum it… see got me f!cking up resolutions already.. I was supposed to quit cussin..im scratchin that off the list…..LOL see withdrawal from the blog got me all cranky and shyt
@Shay-d-lady, hm…you need to get your life together.
This made me chuckle.
@Panama Jackson, thats my new years resolution!!! LMAO
yay! welcome back VSB vampires!!! i missed this blog….
I can’t reply to a comment on my phone for some reason…
anyways…happy birthday luvvie! *b-day gold stars*
If she NEVER answers her forever-ringing phone, AND looks at the phone and says something to the effect of “Worrisome A$$ folks keep calling me” You must get up and yell shenanigans, cut your losses, and break camp.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
if she frequents one particular movie theater because she doesn’t want to run into anyone she knows…
bonus if she refuses to go during peak times (only wednesday evening movies for me!) or ALWAYS likes to stay through all the credits (he was the key grip in ocean’s 12, too)
@ladyb,
“or ALWAYS likes to stay through all the credits”
how does this relate to ho-dum?
@The Champ, avoiding everyone else who was in the movie, champie – just in case.
@ladyb,
thanks and sh*t
@ladyb,
But I really, truly do like sunday morning and/or tuesday afternoon movie seances. Does that make me Lucy LooseThighs (hilarious by the way) though?
@Relax, Relate, Alise, Very Good Sign that something may not be right.
Lucy Loosethighs. Lord help her.
Welcome back, VSB. I missed you guys.
@PBG,
my sentiments exactly. It feels good to talk to mah people amidst all these 2520s n german and aisan counterparts. aaaahhh
My grandmother used to refer to women like this (Trollop International Expressway) with the following phrase:
“son mas largas que la 95″
literal translation they are longer than rte 95, (rte 95 N to S goes from Maine to Miami, so in essence my grandma was saying the chic was more traveled on than rte 95.)
TRIVIA for the New YEAR the stretchof 95 that goes through the bronx is the most traveled on piece of high way in all of these United States
My cousins and I shortened the refrence to 95 when one of my brother’s or male cousins brought such a chic home. We would just look at her and be like, “mm hmmm 95″
@Intellectual Hedonist, we have a similar phrase down here…. going quicker than (I) 40 going north
LOL i love it!! lil old latin ladies say the darnedest things. your abuelita sounds hilarious!!
@Gem of the Ocean, whats funny is mi abuelita would say it in front of them or within earshot cause most of them chics were 2520.
HA!! that’s how they do
@Intellectual Hedonist and Gem,
Happy 2009 Ladies!! I just have to say that I love listening to spanish speaking peoples convos when they think that no one can understand them. My spanish is horrible… and was much better a few years ago (you really DO lose it when you don’t use it) but it’s hilarious.
happy new year, pgh muse!!!! *hugs*
but this actually reminds me of when ppl ask me if i could have any power or ability in the world, what would it be. and i think it’d be to understand ALL languages. i HATE going to get my nails done and the vietnamese ladies just be a talkin and laughin!! i esp wanna know if they talkin bout me!!
@Gem of the Ocean,
Awww! Thanks for the hugs
e-hugs right back 
@Gem of the Ocean, there are talking about you fyi.
of course. but not ALWAYS. i know when the hoodrats come in they got plenty to say. i mostly care about whats said about me.
@Intellectual Hedonist,
stealing and modifying. We gonna call them Parkways in NJ in honor of the Garden State Parkway. Not only highly traveled but WIDE (or loose) as h3ll.
@blackberry molasses, and isnt the Garden State cheaper than the Jersey Turnpike?
Holy crap. I JUST found VSB and feel like such a newbie! But I’ve read like 50 0ld posts and I’m hooked. You’ve been bookmarked. I now have one more way I can spend time on the interwebs and not deal with actual living human beings. Yeay!
@VeronicaL,
As a member of the official welcome committee, let me offer you a generous helping of **Diva Dust v 2.0 ™**
Gotta get new for the ’09. The rest of the committee will be here with gold stars, glitter, homemade confetti and gift bows (i suggest you dodge those–they will likely be flung at you head) and a tour of the place.
Again, welcome.
@blackberry molasses,
thanks. I’ve taken a look around and even invited some friends to join me here. We’ll try (though not very hard) not to break anything.
@VeronicaL,
Come on in and stay a while. Just stay out of “The Corner”
@VeronicaL, welcome and shyt
@ladyb,
Thanks and shyt.
@VeronicaL, welcome!! bring a friend…bring 10!!! this is where the good times roll!!!!
@VeronicaL,
welcome and sh*t
@VeronicaL,
welcome and sh!t.
*throws platinum-trimmed gold stars into bbmo’s Diva Dust v 2.0 ™*
make yourself at home**
**unicorns and other mythical creatures not included.
VSB is BACK!
Woah, this must be what crack laced with angel dust and heroin must feel like. **flying**
And how do you know you’re riding the neighborhood bicycle? *shrugs* … Iono… be back in the AM
I have a question.. if she is the neighbor hood ho..how did you not know..what were you doing that makes you the last to know…seems like it might be a step up for the you in question cause he might be a lame……LMAO
if she is the neighbor hood ho..how did you not know..
GREAT question lol
@Gem of the Ocean, LOL im just saying i mean are you new to the neighborhood?
lmao and shouldn’t new neighborhoodship come with a pamphlet on who/what/where to avoid?? seems to me the friendly neighbor thing to throw smoke signals to warn of tramps, trollops, tricks, and train-riders. i’m just sayin…
@Gem of the Ocean,
lmao and shouldn’t new neighborhoodship come with a pamphlet on who/what/where to avoid?? seems to me the friendly neighbor thing to throw smoke signals to warn of tramps, trollops, tricks, and train-riders.
this does exist. its called “myspace”
@Gem of the Ocean, lol! So true. I just wonder if guys really care especially if she’s attractive. Just thinking about all the guys going after girls like Kim Kardashian, Superhead, etc…
i think dudes would care if he was actually tryna wife her. i don’t think any man in his right mind would want a harlot as a significant other.
@Leila,
What exactly do you mean by “girls like Kim Kardashian”? Did you mean Paris Hilton? Cause Kim is NOT a ho.
She’s a divorcee – yes, and she made the mistake of f*ckin around with RayJ (of all people) but a ho, she is not.
You can bash her all you like, but if you’re gonna draw references to mah girl, then provide examples of TRUTH, please. Thank you.
@RedBeanzNRice,
What exactly do you mean by “girls like Kim Kardashian”? Did you mean Paris Hilton? Cause Kim is NOT a ho.
you know, i was actually gonna ask the same question. i dont think making a sex tape with an ex automatically makes someone a ho or superheadesque.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Yup. I wonder when did Kim Kardashan become a ho… (maybe when as a non-black girl she started dating black guys? No?
)
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,
I’m sorry but i def think Kim K. is on some ho stuff for real, didn’t she let ray j pee on her!?!…but that’s just my opinion
@Shay-d-lady, AND PPL SAY THE NUMBER DOESNT MATTER?
@Shay-d-lady, hmmm…..maybe it’s not your neighborhood? and not the hood ho that you know? (that rhymed!). hence, the lack of knowledge that you are in fact, bagging the neighborhood ho. to this sad fool, she’s just the hot chick that he met at the club…
now, is there a man law or something somewhere that states that the guys in that hood should tell the new guy that her halo is a bit warped, disfigured and covered in a black tar-like substance elimintes any and all traces of the gold luster that was once there?
***and i obviously need to update my handle on my work computer…
not directed @Shay-d-lady,
But in WIA’s travles people that even conceptualize the neighborhood ho..have a severely limited world view and experience. Means they been in the neighborhood too long, and knows everybody’s business. And they stay plugged in, lest they get “got”.
If you still rolling with folks you know from elementary, middle, and high school, maybe it’s time you left your little hamlet (ie Brooklyn) and saw the world.
You got grown folks still hitting the clubs up with they real and play cousins. If 80% of the folks @ the club remember that time when you…. “- you need to holla @ Greyhound or an Army Recruiter.
If you still rolling with folks you know from elementary, middle, and high school, maybe it’s time you left your little hamlet (ie Brooklyn) and saw the world.
i feel you on this tho. i know too many ppl my age from the “other” Go (dieGO that is
) that still know high school goings-on and can be tracked down at any number of regular hang out spots. never should i leave for 7yrs and come back to you doin the same things with the usual suspects. for shame. *smh*
¡feliz nuevo año, mi VSB gente!
now that VSB is coming off hiatus, the Gemster will soon be geM.I.A. (hello comps) and will miss you all (again) dearly.
to PBG and the PCC (Prayer Cubicle Crew)–please lift up Gemmy to BBJ, who is Gem’s rock
good night and good luck, good ppl.
@Gem of the Ocean, Buena suerte mi E-prima!
muchas gracias, e-prima!!
Panama? Did you mean Jim Beam or Jimmy Dean? Cause one’s a whiskey, and the other is sausage *sighs* I’m so confused.
At any rate, one sign that you’re dating a ho, is if you casually glance in her purse, and you see that she has a few extra pair of underwear in her purse for no apparent reason.
If she’s homeless, that case doesn’t apply.
@RedBeanzNRice, LOL how do you know she didnt just take her mommas advice of never being without clean draws literally…LMAO!!!
@Shay-d-lady,
Because a true ho never listens to her mama anyway – if she DID, she’d be WEARING clean draws, not carrying them around in her purse, lol.
So, in essence, the draws in her purse signify the need to change them after her stank butt gets her “groove” on with every tom, dick and harry, and their cousin nate.
Just my opine. ; )
@RedBeanzNRice,
I agree w/the Shay-d-lady…the correlation seems suspect.
If she’s being run through like paper towels, is she really concerned about cleanliness to the point that she carries travel supplies? Seems uncharacteristic and shyt.
@Resident GRitS,
Ay – don’t get it twisted. Some hoes are surprisingly hygienic and sh*t.
@RedBeanzNRice, strippers are very hygienic…..
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other,
“strippers are very hygienic”
But those poles AIN’T, lol. And to clarify: A stripper is not necessarily a ho.
DEFINITIONS PEOPLE, DEFINITIONS!
You You can strip in a club til the cows come home, but that doesn’t mean you sleep with every one who comes along.
@RedBeanzNRice, I dont know what clubs you been to but the strippers definitely clean the pole before they dance and they definitely can be bought….
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other,
Well really I haven’t been to any strip clubs – I like my mens, so I have no interest in stripper chicks – I was only being facetious.
But, I was saying what I said to KEEP IN LINE with the topic of the signs of dating a ho.
My comment was about hoes, and you brought strippers into the mix, so I just wanted to point out that not all strippers are hoes. Simple.
and they definitely can be bought….
i went to a “strip aerobics” class in DC on new year’s day and my instructor was selling poles. if i had a home i owned, i’d have bought one on the spot.
@Gem aka Senorita San Diego,
“if i had a home i owned, i’d have bought one on the spot.”
And I would have given you my credit card number so you could get one for me too, lol.
PS. Is your name Pearl? Cause that’s a gem that’s found in the ocean. Just curious.
lmao @ “Gem aka Senorita San Diego” i love it!!!
girrrrrl i’d fedex that pole to you with a quickness!! throw in a dvd on my tab. gotta know what you doin. don’t need anybody hurtin theyself on some experimental type ish…
and my gobment name means pearl. coincidentally (but not really) pearls are my fav gemstone
though not my birthstone 
@ Senorita San Diego,
Woo lawd! Thank ya kindly, cause a sista can’t afford another “hamstring episode” before her next 21st birthday, lol.
I like how you turned what your name means into your screen name. Very clever, indeed. But of course I would expect nothing less from the Gem of the Ocean. *3 snaps in z-formation*
@Resident GRitS,
I read somewhere that “if she justifies it, she’s tried it.” LOL
@Resident GRitS,
Clearly you need to read more, lol.
@RedBeanzNRice,
…riiiiight.
@Resident GRitS,
Aw hush gull – I’m only teasin. Don’t get all sensitive and sh*t, Ms. (or Mr.) PhD.
@Resident GRitS,
And wait a minute here…are you new? Cause last time I checked I was the RESIDENT soul food up in this piece, lol.
If you’re new, welcome and sh*t!
I have to say “if you’re new” because I’m contractually obligated (unofficially) by the welcoming committee to do so, cause I haven’t been here long enough (only 2 months) to know who’s new and who’s not.
I once welcomed a longtime, but latent poster a while back, and I felt the wrath of the committee.
Ok, maybe not wrath, but you get my drift, lol.
So again, if you’re new – welcome and sh*t. If you’re not, then welcome back, lol. : )
@RedBeanzNRice,
“And wait a minute here…are you new? Cause last time I checked I was the RESIDENT soul food up in this piece, lol. ”
Look at you posturing and ish
LOL
@Intellectual Hedonist,
“Look at you posturing and ish”
Heh, heh, heh. I was hoping it wasn’t that obvious, lol. A sista gets kinda territorial when it comes to soul food.
@RedBeanzNRice,
U’re still “the only soul food up in this piece,” I’m just a Girl Raised in the South. The acronym is a bonus
I appreciate the cautious welcome…LOL. I found VSB late last year, but u’re the first to welcome me formally. Thanks and sh*t.
This is what happens when I skim sh!t…
@RedBeanzNRice, i would agree that ‘wrath’ was a bit strong. more like a sisterly nudge with a slight side-eye
@Resident GRits, well hallelujah anyhow! as a fellow GRITS myself, and since i may have missed you the first go ’round (hey, errbody gets one), welcome and sh!t. you get a *platinum trimmed gold star*
Welcome to Resitent Grits
**Diva Dust v 2.0 ™**
@SouthernGirl,
‘preciate it, crony…but I’m puttin it on eBay for the $ and shyt.
@BBMo,
thank u…I’ll use it sparingly.
@RG
clearly I can’t spell today… so I’m going to shorten your handle.
If you want to become a licensed user and hustler of Diva Dust ™ please make an appointment to meet me in my office at SparkleSistas Industries, LLC.
The gold stars with platinum are non-transferable and are yours in perpetuity. Sorry, but you can’t knock our hustle.
@bbmo,
“If you want to become a licensed user and hustler of Diva Dust ™ please make an appointment to meet me in my office at SparkleSistas Industries, LLC.
The gold stars with platinum are non-transferable and are yours in perpetuity. Sorry, but you can’t knock our hustle.”
*daps*
newbies….i tell ya…smh
@BBMo,
…I’ll leave the dusting to the vets, however, I am honored to have been a recipient.
(0rchestrates the smooth, many-hands fake w/the star just out bbmo’s line of sight)
@Resident GRitS,
Well, you’re welcome! Even though you initially got the “boot-leg version” of a welcome. I didn’t have any glitter, diva dust, gold or (now) gold AND platinum stars to sprinkle on you.
All I ever have to give is an “open-hand slap in the da mouf”, along with Miss T-Lee’s “throat punch”.
You’re lucky Miss T didn’t welcome you, lol.
@RedBeanzNRice,
LOL…I look forward to making her acquaintance.
@RedBeanzNRice,
At any rate, one sign that you’re dating a ho, is if you casually glance in her purse, and you see that she has a few extra pair of underwear in her purse for no apparent reason.
ok. this made me choke on my bacon wrapped smoked turkey
@The Champ,
Mmmmm…bacon.
this made me think of Champie’s birthday. it was “Bacon Night” at Harris Grill where we went for dinner and he ordered us a”basket o’ bacon” lmao good times
@Gem of the Ocean,
By basket, you mean 4 pieces right? LOL!
that’s why it was in quotes lmao.
Did it come with a side o’death and a hearty helping of morbid obesity?
ask Champie’s internal organs…
@RedBeanzNRice, wait…i’m the only one who adds whiskey to my smoked sausage???!?!?!!?
@Panama Jackson,
“wait…i’m the only one who adds whiskey to my smoked sausage???!?!?!!?”
Well, you and half of Humboldt county; nothing to be ashamed of, lol.
You know yo jawn is a shmeeze if you can easily (without the aquafina flow flowing) fit 3 or 4 fingers up in that jawn
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other,
Really? What about 2 weeks after giving birth? I’m sure a whole hand could fit up there easily – does that make her a ho?
And why would she be doing anything right after giving birth? Let’s say she got knocked up and dude left her. She met someone new while she was maternally inclined, and after she gave birth he respected the 6 week rule. So, they did “other things”.
So again, my question to you is does that make her a ho if he could easily get his whole hand up there – considering the circumstances?
*fighting to not use Johnny Cochran citing, if it doesn’t fit…*
@RedBeanzNRice, hahahaha @ Johnny Cochran
But that’s obviously an exception. There are exceptions to other rules too
@RedBeanzNRice
“So again, my question to you is does that make her a ho if he could easily get his whole hand up there – considering the circumstances?”
Yes.
@RedBeanzNRice,
And why would she be doing anything right after giving birth? Let’s say she got knocked up and dude left her. She met someone new while she was maternally inclined, and after she gave birth he respected the 6 week rule. So, they did “other things”.
Red Beanz, I am definitely one to use the label “Ho” very sparingly…. but if some woman is sexing and being fisted by a man who is NOT her child’s father 6 weeks after giving birth… i’m seriously questioning her judgement. My .02…
@pgh muse,
“but if some woman is sexing and being fisted by a man who is NOT her child’s father 6 weeks after giving birth… i’m seriously questioning her judgement.”
Not sexing, and definitely not being “fisted”. But, his finger could have just slipped – next thing ya know, it’s his whole hand in there. IDK – I think that if dude was with her during practically her whole pregnancy, playing baby daddy/hubby/errand boy, it’s alright if she lets him sample her “goodies”. But that’s just me, I reckon.
@RedBeanzNRice,
But, his finger could have just slipped – next thing ya know, it’s his whole hand in there.
Ok. i understand what ur saying. the biological bounced and this other dude is with her… and his finger slips. Ok. I understand. If he is filling in the daddy shoes then that is her man (pretty much) and what they are doing is their business. I’m following…
@pgh muse, “being fisted”…I don’t really know qhuthis made me laugh out loud literally.
@Monk,
lol… it’s ok. it’s making me laugh now too
@Monk,
me three
@pgh muse,
“but if some woman is sexing and being fisted by a man who is NOT her child’s father 6 weeks after giving birth… i’m seriously questioning her judgement.”
This reminds me of the Heidi Klum/Seal situation – she was sleeping with him while pregnant with another man’s child. Lo and behold one calls her a ho though!!!!
@YGB,
Hey…hey…we’re talking about Seal here…lol
@pgh muse,
(mouth agape at the fist reference)
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other,
Ugghh! That’s definitely a sign!!!!
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other,
some chicks are just, ummmm, cavernous down there, lol. it aint their fault
@The Champ, Naw they better get on their kegel grind or be labeled a h*
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other,
Peyso! Heyy e-Boo
Happy 2009!
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other, Se I almost want to disagree with you on the premise that the Vag is a muscle and each person’s “muscle” has different flexibility, and if it is a woman that has had children in the past her “muscle” may not be as tight as anothers
It’s a muscle
I prefer the term loose booty.
@Ange,
That’s also a classic go-go tune. Damn I miss the club DC Live.
@Ange, hearing loose booty also made me think of the JY song. i was gonna ask if you were making a sly reference to the go-go song myself.
@Ange,
Thought that was Parliment/Funkadelic…….
Oh well……….
If every guy at the bar is her ‘cousin’…and you ain’t never met an auntie…the ‘family reunion’ is always in her bed
@Imperfect,
***adding to mental “how to detect a ho” ledger***
@Imperfect,
Or the ultimate…. he’s like my big brother, play cousin, or “family friend”…. but I really hate to hear that big bro thing (or with a dude, “she’s like my lil’ sis”), that is 9 times (plus 1) out of 10 some ol’ bullshyt…..
@Alise Loves Ho, Ho, Ho-sh*t, u r very correct. i done use this one a bunch of times
@Alise Loves Ho, Ho, Ho-sh*t, that’s some insenstual family right there
@Imperfect, that’s so ingenious i’m amazed i didn’t think of it myself, being the genius that i am.
yo, anybody else wonder why you spell genius with no “o” when you spell ingenious with an “o”?
no? just me?
ok.
@Panama Jackson,
“genius” is a noun and “ingenious” is an adjective.
Usually,”-ous” is the English adjective ending while”-us” is a noun ending for a word originating from Latin.
Kinda like “callus” and “callous”.
Ok, I just outed myself as a nerd, but whatev.
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,
*Handing you your suped up version of the NHS pin. Complete with glitter, gold stars, platinum rimmed gold stars and Diva Dust v. 2.0 ™**
Now wear it proudly and say “I. AM. NERD.”
@blackberry molasses,
Thanks sistren.
I.AM.NERD.
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase., you go girl! im’ma add a hand clap for good measure…
smart/informed ppl make me smile
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase., well thank you for that lesson. i had no idea. and though that will probably add nothing more to my life than a weebit more knowledge than i had before…
…you have enhanced my life.
lol
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,
This whole thread is one of the reasons VSB is that crack lol. That was very informative, madam
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,
Oh my God…I’m home. (exhale)
If she swears that she is a virgin but you know at least one person that hit. If she can hide 1, she can hide 1000. Besides you met her VIP in the club, justbecause you popped a bottle, now ya’ll in love, foolishness.
@J. McFly, you know, i’ve met 30 year old virgins. it amazed me, but they actually do exist.
like Santa and talking M&Ms.
merry christmas.
however, i do think 99 percent of women are lying whenever they tell you how many people they’ve slept with…that’s why i never ask. its like asking her to lie to you, especially when you won’t believe her anyway. you might as well just watch Coming To America and sip some Henny.
@Panama Jackson,
however, i do think 99 percent of women are lying whenever they tell you how many people they’ve slept with…that’s why i never ask. its like asking her to lie to you, especially when you won’t believe her anyway.
do people actually still ask this question?
@The Champ,
“do people actually still ask this question?”
Only insecure men with penis envy issues.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Pretty much.
@The Champ, gosh i hope not. but i’m assuming it happens.
@The Champ,
oh yes they do. some dude just popped this question on my girl not too long ago.
@Panama Jackson,
“however, i do think 99 percent of women are lying whenever they tell you how many people they’ve slept with…that’s why i never ask. its like asking her to lie to you, especially when you won’t believe her anyway.”
In the words of Chris Rock: if you ask a woman this question it doesn’t matter what her answer is, it will still be too much for you!
She could say 2 ad your reaction would be: 2????2???
NO,NO,NO,NO! Guess thas how u was raised!!!
Why men ask this question befuddles my mund!
@Panama Jackson,
I actually know a pair of 30-year old and 29-year old virgins who have absolutely no reason to lie to me.
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,
there’s always a reason to lie, lol. if you cant find one, then you’re just not trying hard enough
In the words of Eddie Murphy,
Merry New Years!!
I got 10 cool points for anyone who can guess the movie that line came from.
Now on to the topic . . .
I can see how a guy can get caught up in this type of situation. They can be from different neighborhoods or whatever. I been in those shoes before. I found out about her because it’s a small world after all & shyt. I was messing with this girl my last year of high school and first year of college, that had lived across town. When I got to college, I became friends with one of her old classmates who gave me the scoop. It was 4 months later when me and the classmate realized we had a mutual friend. At first I didn’t believe it, until I seen the signs for myself.
So my tip is to listen, listen listen. I not saying you should believe everything you hear, but if you keep hearing stories about a chick, then I would suggest you proceed with caution. Sometimes the girl in question family members or friends will try to warn you.
Another sign that you’re messing with a ho that lives in a different neighborhood is if you hear laughing and snickering from ninjas as you and your lady friend walk down the street.
@eff yo couch, Trading Places
@Suga&Spice,
Good job!
Ever since I seen that movie, I’ve been saying that line, with the same accent Eddie uses every new years, lol
@eff yo couch,
my favorite scene will forever be when they are on the train…
Baboyode boyode boyode HA!!!
@eff yo couch,
Beef jerky??
@eff yo couch, I use this the same way all the time. All of my midnight text said Merry New Year!
@Suga&Spice,
me too, lol. great minds and shyt
I take notice of all of these things after I have dealt woth these women in the past. You can also throw in women that have had a lot of “boyfriends”. I learned early that some women use the term boyfriend pretty loosely.
@Humble_One,
hindsight is mofo.
BTW it’s 2009 why hasn’t the flying car or Time Machine been invented yet????
@eff yo couch,
I don’t know why it hasn’t been invented yet. Somebody needs to do it. Maybe I can make my own flux capacitor and put it in my car. I need to go back in time. There are a few women that I missed that I could of had and a few I need to avoid.
@Humble_One,
You can also throw in women that have had a lot of “boyfriends”. I learned early that some women use the term boyfriend pretty loosely.
lol…this is true. then you have some women claiming men who wouldn’t claim them with a gun to their heads. its sad and sh*t
U know she’s a h#, when you hear the statement, “I don’t usually do this…”
@Nicki Sunshine,
“I don’t usually do this . . .but uh . . .go ahead and break em off with the remix.”
This is also a line from R Kelly, so you know if you hear someone say that, you should immediately run in the opposite direction.
BTW, I still love that song. Damn you R Kelly!
@eff yo couch, Now I’m singing this song in my head and I do NOT like R. Kelly!
Fiesta was certifed though!
@Nicki Sunshine,
“I don’t usually do this…”
LMAO!!! This reminds me of that interlude off of BIG’s Ready To Die and the lyrics to 8Ball and MJG’s “Space Age Pimpin’”.
“constantly tellin me the things you don’t do
Yet you do it like a pro and think I don’t know”
@miss t-lee
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Space Age Pimpin!
“Slip on the latex and dive in….SWISH!”
@V Renee,
Yes ma’am.
I think this was one of their best songs.
That and “Don’t Flex”….
*sniggling*
@miss t-lee, i almost choked on my soup. i looooooved that song at an age where it was probably totally inappropriate. that video was ri-damn-diculous though. smh.
@SouthernGirl,
I knew waay too many songs that were inappropriate at a young age.
Let’s see, to name a few:
“Don’t Fight the Feelin” Too Short
The entire Geto Boys “We Can’t Be Stopped” album
along with NWA’s “Straight outta Compton” album
followed by DJ Jimi’s “Where Dey At?” (Bytches Reply).
Just to name a few…
*sniggling sommore*
@miss t-lee, girl, you ain’t neva lied. don’t have me busting out the archives of sh!t I was hiding from my mama…blacking out parental advisory stickers and flipping tape/cd inserts and sh!t…whatchu know ’bout that? I should have stock in black sharpies. lol.
@Nicki Sunshine, yeah, i automatically assume that anybody who says that is lying thru their veneers.
dumb chicks will tell you they don’t usually do this the second time they do it to you.
@Panama Jackson, “dumb chicks will tell you they don’t usually do this the second time they do it to you”
WOW.. this one kilt me. LOL.
Sign # 46 she is a Slut Puppy–She honestly believes that every guy she has ever slept with has wanted to/still wants to wife her and she credits her head game or that little trick she does.
@Suga&Spice,
i dont know if this is a slut puppy sign as much as a dumb puppy one
@The Champ, I know a woman who will say this with a straight face.
@Suga&Spice,
it would actually be more impressive to me if she did it with a crooked face
This is one of my worst fears.lol. I dread being “that guy”. I think a lot of the sure signs have already been mentioned. This topic kinda reminds me of a subtopic about groupies….
@Slim Jackson, “This is one of my worst fears.lol. I dread being “that guy”.”
You and me both! Especially in the sorority/fraternity world . . . I would hate to hear that the girl im talking to used to be a pet . . . . when you have a little too much hate for a certain org . . . very questionable.
@IVR, I second the motion
@PEYSO from the Brook,
At my age this still kind of bothers me. The past is the past but I am still kind of scared of being exposed to something or being with the women dudes talk about in legend. i.e Superhead
@Humble_One, this is an interesting dynamic. I recently saw a picture of a girl I had “a past” with tongue-kissing her current dude online. I couldn’t help but think “if only dude knew…”. The truth is, we’ve all probably been that dude at some point.
@Monk, “The truth is, we’ve all probably been that dude at some point.”
This is the damn truth . . . I suppose in these cases ignorance is bliss. As long as she has a clean bill of health anyway. . .
@IVR,
this reminds me of Sat night actually. I was at the Founder’s Day soiree for my Nupes and me and my friends were pointing out ‘pets’ all night. Invariably she was some form of that one girl who is extremely familiar with all the guys in a particular chapter, and gets called some nickname when she’s out of earshot. They come in all ages, shapes and sizes… and they were the ones standing guard at the door to the suites giving the side eye to every other woman who dared to walked in.
i died at least 25 deaths that night
@blackberry molasses,
You was in Cherry Hill?
@eff yo couch,
Shonuff… I live in Stratford
It was a hop skip and a jump for me. Since they are frat I figured I should go this year.
@IVR, I’m in a Frat, so the point you make is exactly what I had in mind.lol.
@Slim Jackson, “I’m in a Frat, so the point you make is exactly what I had in mind.lol.”
Werd . . . especially if they are from another region . . . next thing you know you are at a national convention with a bunch of her “big brothers” . . . this is scary @ me . . . this post just makes me think about my current situation.
sorority girl w/ distaste for another organization
first nighter (didn’t expect me to call her back)
possible past h* sh!t . . . maybe.
BUT I’m trying not to be so judgmental . . . . fingers are crossed like a muthaphukka tho.
@IVR,
Sounds like she could be a live wire. Keep your fingers crossed tight!
@IVR,
just outta curiosity, why would you wanna “boopiece” you have doubts about to the point your fingers are crossed like a muthaphukka??
@Gem of the Ocean, “just outta curiosity, why would you wanna “boopiece” you have doubts about to the point your fingers are crossed like a muthaphukka??”
Well crossed fingers is a bit extreme. . . but I do think about it . . . especially with the topic of today . . . but she is good to me . . . so I will try it out. I am normally a bit judgmental so I am trying something a bit different.
@IVR, dammit IVR! I swear you gets into more sh!t than a little bit…lol. I feel like every other story you tell is about some twisted love triangle stalker crazy crossed fingers chick type mess.
you know i e-lurve you though. im’ma send a *gold star* your way and hope it works out for you. lol.
lmao @ SG. exactly!! IVR always got a “you should not eat or drink anything while reading this” type story.
IVR–do you boo!! if you’re happy, i’m happy for you. but i will say, the minute i stopped being “so judgmental” about the men i date, that’s when Hades broke loose. i’m just sayin…
@IVR, “dammit IVR! I swear you gets into more sh!t than a little bit…lol. I feel like every other story you tell is about some twisted love triangle stalker crazy crossed fingers chick type mess.
you know i e-lurve you though. im’ma send a *gold star* your way and hope it works out for you. lol.”
I think everyone has craziness that happens to them . . . I am just a bit more forthcoming here on VSB because I can use the advice (my male associates use me as a guinea pig and provide advice that they would never follow) . . . I have been in some crazy situations very recently though. . . thanks for hearing me out VSBers.
@IVR, “IVR–do you boo!! if you’re happy, i’m happy for you. but i will say, the minute i stopped being “so judgmental” about the men i date, that’s when Hades broke loose. i’m just sayin…”
This is the problem . . . I have been told that I was too judgmental by my female acquaintances . . . I know I have engaged in a plethora of whorish activities so can I really expect a woman to not have had a few wtf moments? I don’t know . . . we will see.
i understand. but your female acquaintances arent going to be in your relationship–you are. my guy friends tell me im judgmental all the time too. but when i let my london bridge down, that’s when the stalkers, crazies and mamas boys by umbilical association invade. our judgments of ppl often help us pick who we think is right for us (and true, sometimes they just get in the way). i’m not saying you cant date a girl who’s done, been on some, wrote a book on ho sh*t. but i am saying, once you have doubts, it’s a wrap. usually a set up for failure.
but that’s just mho.
@Gem of the Ocean, “i’m not saying you cant date a girl who’s done, been on some, wrote a book on ho sh*t. but i am saying, once you have doubts, it’s a wrap. usually a set up for failure.”
I appreciate your opinion Gem . . . it makes perfect sense . . .
I’m so glad ya’ll are back.
*singing* “You’s a ho….You’s a ho…You’s a ho, I said that you’s a ho…”
I haven’t read all of the comments so this might be a repeat, but if you’re at the club, and she knows every single dude at the club? Start thinking…real hard…lol
@miss t-lee, lol, working at the club i see lots of stuff. i remember this one particular chick who had to have known at least HALF the cats in the club one night. THEN, on her way OUT of the club, she walks by one of our security guards and grabs his sh*t, THEN she walks up to another one and just open mouth kisses him (he wasn’t expecting that).
i asked them if they knew her and they were like, “P, we’ve never seen her a day in our lives…”
she? ‘s a ho.
@Panama Jackson,
Wow…so you exactly know what I mean?
*chuckles*
@Panama Jackson,
“THEN she walks up to another one and just open mouth kisses him (he wasn’t expecting that).”
I could NEVER do anything like that – too afraid of the herpes. *sighs* The boldness of hoes never ceases to amaze me.
I actually wonder if they teach a class somewhere about ho-sh*t on butt-nekkid Wednesdays with glitter and beepers.
@RedBeanzNRice,
I know you were waiting to throw out that reference!!! LMMFAO
I will forever love E.Badu for that rant. It was booiful!!
@blackberry molasses, god i lurve that woman. *sigh* no homo. but that sh!t had me laughing so damn hard i had tears coming out of my eyes.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Ahhh, the hosh*t rant, the bestest ever, changed me, PBG’s, Overit and Luvvie’s lives… and also allows for the shameless plugging of my blog entry dedicated to it: http://blackwomanlost.blogspot.com/2008/11/ho-sht.html
@BBMo,
Girl you know I was, lmao.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
I actually watch that rant on YouTube at least once a week – always makes the week go better, lol. Watch, next thing you know people will really be tryna cut off they scalp and get a whole ‘notha scalp.
@Panama Jackson,
nope, she’s a valedicHOrian. go directly to the *head* of the class…
@SouthernGirl,
…nice wordplay. (standing o)
If you started to appreciate her because she was a booty call that was too good to be true… it probably is.
And…
If she is a booty call that constantly talks about wanting to be in a relationship, but doesn’t complain about remaining on-call.
@Landis91,
If she is a booty call that constantly talks about wanting to be in a relationship, but doesn’t complain about remaining on-call
so basically, this would be a ho with aspirations and sh*t?
@The Champ,
Goal oriented ho-sh*t
Your chick is the neighborhood spunk bucket if you can describe a sexual act or amazing feat a woman pulled in bed without mentioning her name and the person you’re having the conversation with says “oh, yeah, sounds like Sheila.”
@CPT Callamity,
**nodding head**
@CPT Callamity, your whole comment made me choke on this red bull.
@Slim Jackson,
LOL…
I’m certain someone has heard that somewhere. Have you ever gone on Facebook and seen girls you know were out there but they are now married with children and real holy religified…but you can’t help but remember her under the bleacher antics?
@CPT Callamity,
Have you ever gone on Facebook and seen girls you know were out there but they are now married with children and real holy religified…but you can’t help but remember her under the bleacher antics?
off the top of my head i can think of 5 that were unadulterated freaks from 18-22, who are now born again with asian kids and sh*t
so The Champ, Panama and CPT Callamity all been with Sheila…
Oh Sheila!
Had a certain female once tell me that “they” call her Einstein . . . this was some of the hoeist sh!t that ever happened to me (that I know of).
@IVR, I knew a girl we called the headmaster.
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other, “I knew a girl we called the headmaster.”
Yeah, its bad enough that people are saying it about you . . . but when you start bragging about it. . . ehhh . . . no bueno.
@IVR, this is generally my beef with Superhead. like, you have a son too…how did she manage to find a school to put her son in where nobody knows his mother’s claim to fame is her domegame?
why can’t you just pick a better name? like strippers do.
Hey VSB’ers! What a wonderful way to waste my day, la-la-la….
Signs you’re messing with a Trap Door:
1. A lengthy date (maybe the first) turns into an unexpected overnight visit. She runs to her car and pulls out a bag with baby wipes, condoms, edible body oil, back up panties, a t-shirt, sweatpants and a can of mace. Otherwise known as the “ho bag”. Mumbles something about “always being prepared” when your mouth drops open.
2. You introduce yourself to the potential lady friend, “Hi, my name is Dewey.” She replies, “Did you just say your name was Do Me?” and rubs your leg. *BTW – this is a true freakin’ story.*
3. When you show interest in attending services with her she immediately switches her church membership to one that is at least 20 miles away from her neighborhood.
4. She avoids attending her h.s. reunion rather than take you with her. People may still remember her nickname, “Bobble-head Brenda”.
5. You hear a low electric hum and think your girl must be playing with her “toy”. In reality, it’s her phone lighting up like a Christmas tree with calls and texts after 11pm.
6. You hear your girl on the phone saying things like, “So when are you and the team getting into town?”, “Oooh, you so silly’!” and “Not anymore, I don’t!” Later she claims that these were family members. Riiiiiiight.
@Lil’T, LoL @ all of this! A hobag?!? LoL
@Lil’T,
“2. You introduce yourself to the potential lady friend, “Hi, my name is Dewey.” She replies, “Did you just say your name was Do Me?” and rubs your leg. *BTW – this is a true freakin’ story.*”
so what happened next?
@Panama Jackson,
Short answer: They began boning on her lunch break.
Now, this was my 2520 co-worker who pulled this ish. She’s 40, married to a brotha, 5’10″ and kind of looks like Big Bird. She was often heard claiming that she “just didn’t know why” the brothas adored her, usually to single black women. The Lawd kept me from whooping her azz on gp once I turned in my 2 week notice.
lmao this list is hilarious!
@Lil’T,
Love that list. Too funny!
@Lil’T,
“3. When you show interest in attending services with her she immediately switches her church membership to one that is at least 20 miles away from her neighborhood.”
Now you know that’s a doggone shame, LMAO.
L.M.A.O. @ this post. Praise be 2 gawd that VSB is back!!! Yay!
newho… How do you know that you’re dating the neighborhood ho? Well, idk … ALMOST every grown women worth her salt has done some ho sh*t… so if you hit her with the “Oooh i saw xyz do xyz,” and she justifies it cuz she’s done it… I think you should feel good becuz she might do xyz wit’ yo’ azz. lol…
@pgh muse,
what constitutes “ho shit” in your opinion?
@The Champ,
ummmm… a one night stand, or two. An experiece (or two) that only her and the other person (people) involved know about. I’m not talking about trains, animals, or anything like that. I’m talking about sexual exploration. Being in touch with oneself sexually. There’s nothing wrong with it. But this is usually looked at negatively or as ho sh*t. Idk… my .02 cents.
@pgh muse,
so, in your opinion, is there a difference between “ho” and “occasionally participant in ho sh*t”? if so, what is it?
@The Champ,
is there a difference between “ho” and “occasionally participant in ho sh*t”? if so, what is it?
Good question. And to that I would have to answer yes. If we are going to use this label to define people or their behaviors, i would label a “ho” as a person who just completely uses and abuses their body for the pleasure of another person or other people. This is a person who may find some enjoyment in what they do, but they are totally doing what they are doing because they think they’ll gain some favor from somebody else. Or they do what they do to feed some empty feeling that they have in themselves. Being a “ho” can totally become a compulsion. Doing “ho sh*t” on the other hand may be participation in some behavior that is looked on as explicit or something that “nice” clean people don’t participate in (but wish they did) lol… but the person participating does what they do in a balanced rational state of mind. LONG answer… lol
@pgh muse,
…agreed. there’s a difference between sleeping around and being exclusively freaky within the confines of a relationship.
@pgh muse,
See that’s why I would have to reiterate my e-twin demand this year.
You and I are >< here. Always.
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,
Hey girl! Yes! E-twins ’09 represent-sent!
OH and i just have to ask… is anybody as excited as I am about the NOTORIOUS biopic. I am sooo hyped – like i would maybe wait a couple hours in line to watch this flick!! Is it just me???
@pgh muse,
Is it just me???
yup.
@The Champ,
That ish is gonna be wacktacular. You can tell from the previews…lol
I’mma catch it on bootleg.
@pgh muse,
just you. your more people are nonexistent or either wacktastic.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
And I’m usually on the same wavelength as pgh muse but this time, I just can’t.
Nope, this movie will indeed be wacktacular.
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,
Awww… my feelings are hurt
oh well. we’ll be better tomorrow.
@pgh muse, yeah, might just be you.
i mean i plan on seeing it eventually. but wat in line for hours?
“that’s just not for me.”
100 cool points for anybody who can tell me what movie THAT quote came from.
@ Alise, Champ, Panama
Boooo!! Ya’ll get a teeth suck and the Gas Face!! LMAO i kid, i kid… Derek Luke as Puffy? A little piece of the golden 90′s on the big screen? The Versaci shirts? The Coogi sweater? Lil’ Kim? And the Music?? Sheit, u can knock me over with a feather. I can’t wait to see it. I will NOT purchase this one from my local bootleg dvd man
@pgh muse,
This is precisely the movie you should get from the bootleg man, like on GP and shyt…..
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
lol. I KNOW! Believe me. I understand. But i am soo excited. I can’t wait to see the actor playing Tupac. And Angela Bassett playing Biggie’s mama?? I can’t ruin the experience by buying the bootleg. I’ll buy that after I see it on the big screen.
@pgh muse, i think thats part of the problem…Derek Luke as Puffy? hm. no.
Lil Kim doesnt even support the movie. for 2. and the music? i got all of Biggie’s CDs. i’m cool for 3.
i mean i’ll probably see it, but the problem with putting such prominent personalities like Biggie, Puffy, and Pac (Anthony Mackie? man…with all the ACTUAL tupac lookalikes out there he’s the best we could do?), i worry about just how good a movie it will be.
Tupac: Resurrection was good and creative, more of a documentary…
this? i’m worried about.
@Panama Jackson,
Ehh… I’ll only be disappointed if it’s just a really bad movie. I like Anthony Mackie. I did read that Lil’ Kim didn’t support the film due to how she’s portrayed. It may suck. It may be horrible. But i’m still excited.
@Panama Jackson,
i mean i’ll probably see it, but the problem with putting such prominent personalities like Biggie, Puffy, and Pac (Anthony Mackie? man…with all the ACTUAL tupac lookalikes out there he’s the best we could do?), i worry about just how good a movie it will be.
thats the problem with making a bio-pic about someone’s who’s only been dead for a decade. the memories of the real people are too fresh in our minds. i think they should have waited another 45 years to make this shit
@pgh muse, “like i would maybe wait a couple hours in line to watch this flick!! Is it just me???”
this is how i felt about Nixon/Frost… lol
@pgh muse, “OH and i just have to ask… is anybody as excited as I am about the NOTORIOUS biopic. I am sooo hyped – like i would maybe wait a couple hours in line to watch this flick!! Is it just me???”
I’m with you on this PGH . . . I’ll wait in line to see a movie about BIG . . . Brooklyn we did it!
@IVR, Im sorry did I miss something? Is Brooklyn getting residual money from Biggie’s estate. I will watch this movie in the comfort of my home not having to worry about anything popping off or people talking during the flick. Im copping the bootleg or watching via the interwebs, just like I did seven pounds
@Intellectual Hedonist,
I hear u, but i really need to have the whole experience for this one. Maybe it’s me reliving my youth… idk. But… i definitely feel u on this:
just like I did seven pounds – that movie was great. My bootleg was CRYSTAL clear… but for like the 1st half hour i kept asking my sister what was wrong with Will Smith’s face!! He looked like he had to go to the bathroom or something the whole movie. face all contorted and ish…
@Intellectual Hedonist, “Im sorry did I miss something? Is Brooklyn getting residual money from Biggie’s estate.”
I am sure Brooklyn is not getting any residuals and being a current Virginia resident I dont think id be entitled to a stimulus from the royalties. . . BUT I identified with BIG . . . the soundtrack of my youth if you will . . .all the way back to the Bobby Simmons video of Gimme the Loot on Video Music Box (I think) . . . I feel compelled to see it in the movie theater . . .that is all.
Do yall remember a few weeks back on Panama’s “Sexxy” post there seemed to be a lot of people talking about Biggie? Well the next day is when they started airing the commercials for the new movie. I’d like to think that VSB brought out everyone’s inner psychic.
VSB: Where psychosis happens.
I didn’t realize I still had the “Alise Loves Ho, Ho, Ho Sh*t” moniker still up from Christmas, but dang how appropriate, lol….
@Relax, Relate, Alise, lmao!
one sign that always seems to be true is the nickname. to expound, when a woman is known by or answers to a nickname instead of her government, then she’s probably a ho.
also, it doesn’t matter how mundane the nickname sounds. it could be anything from “magic marker” to “pepper”. all that matters is that the nickname is known by more people than her regular name.
@The Champ, that’s not true… it’s gotta be a particular type of nickname. if her nickname is “bird” and she’s skinny, short, and yellow, it’s cool – if no one knows her name is arjuanitricka? it’s for the best.
I disagree also, no one knows my government name but that’s b/c the shat is hard to say so I just tell everyone Tea and they roll with it.
And #1 is also wrong, I know hella men…everywhere I go it seems that I know someone, men and women alike. And as far as the men I haven’t even come close to sleeping with an tenth of them. Some people are just popular, period.
@Teacia, though Tea may be a nickname, if its an actual variation on your name, then it doesnt count. now, if you were telling folks to call you Teabag, well, then that’d be different.
and look, i’m popular too. but you can tell folks who are a little too popular if you know what i mean. if you ONLY know men…sorry.
it was written.
@Teacia, I agree with you. The only people that call be my real name are people at work and anyone’s who’s not that close to me. It really depends on the type of nickname.
@The Champ,
So what if the nickname is just a variation of her own name or has something to do with her personality? You know, like the way guys are nicknamed.
For instance some people call me the Voice of Reason because I talk folks out of doing stupid ish. And the nicknames that derive from my own name are endless. Is it just that my nickname situation uncommon?
@Voiceofreason,
“…You know, like the way guys are nicknamed.”
thats the thing. there are different dynamics at play in regards to nicknames and gender. generally speaking, male are given nicknames as signs of affection, while females, well, ummm, aren’t. many nicknames are born through some sort of teasing, and men generally tend to tease as a bonding activity, while women’s teasing tends to be a bit more insidious. in my experience, the women who grew to be known by whatever nickname they were given usually turned out to be “trap-doors” as well.
and, to your other point, theres a big difference between a few friends calling you “the voice of reason” (which is waaaaaay to long to be a real nickname, lol) and everyone from college knowing you as “the eraser”.
@The Champ,
theres a big difference between a few friends calling you ‘the voice of reason’ (which is waaaaaay to long to be a real nickname, lol) and everyone from college knowing you as ‘the eraser’
LOL! The rest of my nicknames are variations of my 1st or middle name. I’m not listing those ’cause I can’t have anybody guessing my gov’t.
So exactly what makes a ho a ho? Is there a clear definition? Do women have a different definition than men? I know some women are obvious hos like Superhead, but others frequently walk the line.
I have a friend who is black, knows she’s black, and doesn’t care (which means she wears her token merit badge with pride). She had a 313 roomie in college and she insisted the girl was not a ho even though she had a different guy in their room everynight, and had check out time for the guys she entertained. In my opinion she’s a ho because she had absolutely no problem doing the business while my girl was in the room and she did it with a new guy every night (unless she felt like recycling). My girl said she’s not a ho because she was in college, she had no other place but their room to do her activities, and most of the guys wanted to be in a relationship with her after check out time.
So am I right? Is that trick a ho? Or is my girl right? Or is it a matter of opinion? By the way, I think for a lot of women, a ho is a woman who does anything she wouldn’t do.
Another question: Is it wrong to say “ho” or should people use softer words and phrases like “Sunday morning” or “friendly and giving”?
Sorry if I started rambling. I always have tons of questions on this subject.
@Voiceofreason,
“So am I right? Is that trick a ho? Or is my girl right? Or is it a matter of opinion? By the way, I think for a lot of women, a ho is a woman who does anything she wouldn’t do.”
being a ho ain’t an opinion. it is fact.
@Panama Jackson,
I agree, but people are always telling me it’s a matter of opinion. Could you provide a clear, concrete definition?
@Voiceofreason, nope.
lol. i view ho-dom like soft porn. i may not be able to define it, but i know it when i see it.
your girl’s roommate? ho.
@Panama Jackson,
Thank you!!!
@Voiceofreason,
I appreciate ur attempt at a p.c. reference…but “Sunday morning” seems a little blasphemous. Stick with easy.
@Panama Jackson, “lol. i view ho-dom like soft porn. i may not be able to define it, but i know it when i see it.”
I am feeling this statement . . will attribute all future usage to vsb.
@Panama Jackson,
lol. i view ho-dom like soft porn. i may not be able to define it, but i know it when i see it.
although i’d take out the “soft” qualifier, i have to say that this was some poignant sh*t
@Panama Jackson, your quick “nope” response made me break into song
“She’s a H*, you know she’s a H*, how do you know cause I told you so”
@Voiceofreason,
Let’s examine the evidence:
* she had a different guy in their room everynight
* check out time for the guys she entertained
* she did it with a new guy every night (unless she felt like recycling)
Yeah… *singing* H*… (H*!) she’s a H*… (H*)!!
@blackberry molasses,
yep… she’s doin ho activities with ho tendencies… hos are her friends hos are her enemies…
@laylah,
She’s a professional like DJ Clue…
@blackberry molasses,
Yeah, my girl is just in denial because it’s her friend. Plus my girl is EXTREMELY confused. She thinks it’s perfectly normal for straight women to kiss each other a long as their in college. All her good friends are 2520′s except me which I think explains a lot.
@Voiceofreason,
my very best friend on the entire planet (besides BBJ and my momma) is 2520. NEEEEEEVER in our friendship has she ever co-signed that shyt, unless you identify as a lesbian. That bi-curious crap that permeates PWI colleges… yeah. It needs to stop. My eyes were assaulted far too many times in undergrad…
@blackberry molasses,
i went to a PWI and work at one, I still see this all the time and it’s bothersome partially because as an admin I am trying to be supportive to your “sexual orientation” but I cant keep up when you keep switching teams on a daily basis
@blackberry molasses,
I think that behavior is more common amongst 2520 chicks, but plenty of them have good sense and would never co-sign on it.
@Voiceofreason,
Wow. Lots of typos. Oh well.
@Voiceofreason
http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/ho-ho-ho/
I think we tried to define hoe here. Tried being the key word. The 313 roomie was definitely a ho.
@V Renee,
Whats 313?
Damn son, she ain’t just a ho, she’s a coitus concierge
a sommelier for ball-sweat
a dick drive-thru
a…I’m tired, yall get the point.
@8th Wonder,
a c*ck conduit
a fellatio freeway
haven of ho-sh*t
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
LOL!!! I tried to tell her all of that. I told my girl she was just as trife for staying in the room even if she was asleep.
@Voiceofreason, hell naw, wtf, b!tch please and she must think it’s a game!
f^ck save ‘em, captain i am a ho, would’ve had to take her HOtivities somewhere else cause ain’t no way i would be in the next bed three steps over listening to you fill in the blank with who’s is it every night. NO MA’AM!
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
her orifaces are refered to as coqu pits… I’m ashamed I typed that. lol
@Voiceofreason,
What’s a 313?
@WordSmith, apparently another term for 2520.
@Panama Jackson,
I used my context clues to figure that out, but I was curious about the numerology of it.
@WordSmith,
3: C
1:A
3: C
Cracka a$$ cracka
…the more you know
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
Ah!
I’d even written it down on a post-it note and gotten the CAC, but couldn’t figure it out.
Definitely incorporating that for the more unsavory 2520s.
lmao @ you writing it on a post-it note. too cute.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
…i’m instinctively gonna hear Chris Rock’s voice when I see it from this point forward.
@WordSmith,
Sorry about that. I’ve been using 313 for years now and I just assume everybody knows what it means.
Here is another sign,
At any gathering (non-club atmosphere) she makes it her business to make lingering eye contact and BS small talk with every man in the room. And I mean EVERY man. Attached or not.
Sidenote-This is also the chick who will eff your man and smile in your face. I know her and I keep her VERY close to my cuff. She doesnt even make the liqour run with any dude I date.
@Suga&Spice, what, you don’t trust your menses??
i always wonder why women assume that men just aren’t a) good enough; or b) strong-willed enough to fend off advances from other women. seems to me like a lot of women are trying to save their men from cheating by helping him not put himself in a situation in which she’ll get screwed. which means you all dont trust your men much in the first place…
…or rather, you trust him to be a man…in which case, how can you get mad if he cheats?
Gettin’ Philosophical with Panama. Weekdays at 3pm, right before Oprah.
@Panama Jackson,
“what, you don’t trust your menses??”
This is how I know I’m a nerd… I saw this and thought something ENTIRELY different (and more clinical) than what followed .
@blackberry molasses, me too bbmo, me too cause I immediately thought… well nevermind
lmao me too. i was like “wait, so we’re supposed to be able to trust our cycles to warn us of disaster??”
@Gem of the Ocean,
Oh God – if only that worked! So many world disasters could be avoided…
Gemmie, work on a menses disaster detection program, k? Thanks.
im on it!! like…. nevermind
@Gem,
you can’t be on errythang mama… Comps, inventions… we know you are Superwoman, but take a deep breath and a wooosah.
@Gem of the Ocean, I thought of you last night while watching 60 minutes they were talking about ESP and a machine, I was only partially paying attention.
Any who
@blackberry molasses,
LOL me too!
“chances are she’s smoked more sausage than Jim Beam.”
lmao… i can always count on you for hearty chuckle. thanks panama.
so can i state the obvious?? if you get lucky on the first date… you were trollop trampling…
@laylah,
I think that hitting on the first date is a better sign that she ain’t had none in a while, not necessarily that she’s a ho.
@Lil’T,
Yeah, This is true. Many times what we believe is obvious is in fact the opposite.
@laylah, that doesn’t make her a ho…that makes you lucky. you said it yourself!
@laylah,
Hitting on the first date is not ho characteristics, but if she fcuks me like Pinky on the first date then just maybe . . .
@eff yo couch, “Hitting on the first date is not ho characteristics, but if she fcuks me like Pinky on the first date then just maybe . . .”
Or if she is asking for it in the backdoor before the deed begins? *true story*
@IVR,
Back door first? Waaaaaaooooowwwww. Run fast, my man. Run fast and far, before something climbs out of that abyss and attacks you.
@Lil’T,
Run fast and far, before something climbs out of that abyss and attacks you.
thanks for ruining my lunch. you owe me $3.17
cheap ass lunch.
@8th Wonder,
I know right, the only place where I can eat for that cheap is the dollar menu or the chinese & hot dog cart on the corner
@eff yo couch
unh unh no don’t eat @ the cart. I heard stories of 30 plus thousand some odd fecal coliform count on a hot dog. iiiieeeeewww
@Wu,
well of course! i mean, when was the last time you saw running water and soap on a cart?
my friend is the Director of Food Safety for Philadelphia… yeah… she doesn’t eat out. For a reason.
@8th Wonder,
lunch deez
@BBMo,
::snicker:: you typed eat out. Sorry my sense of humor is stuck in the sixth grade. Yesterday my Dad was telling me how he made some pecan pralines. When he said, ‘you put your nuts in.’ I cackled for like 5 mins. smh
@Champ
no.
@The Champ,
Add it to my tab. I think I owe you next year’s Thanksgiving dinner at this rate.
@Lil’T,
Lol… ewww… the imagery. I have to agree with this though.
@Lil’T,
I’m so upset you used the word “Abyss”.
freakin’ hilarious!!!!!
@Lil’T, “Back door first? Waaaaaaooooowwwww. Run fast, my man. Run fast and far, before something climbs out of that abyss and attacks you.”
LoL @ abyss – everyone knew this girl was quick to bed . . . she wasn’t shy about it either . . . she “knew what she wanted and got it.”
@IVR,
Do you and I know the same person? One of my friends told me about a similar experience she had in which she wanted it in the back door first. She says she’s not a ho* because she’s not selling anything, which, I guess, is a valid distinction. But I think casual ho-dum (as opposed to technical, which involves the selling of wares) is a little more nuanced than that.
hm Hey Panama I didn’t know Jim Beam made sausages. I thaught it was just the whiskey. My great auntie calls em bow leggid girls. snicker
I haven’t read any of the comments as of yet, but did anybody name some of the things mentioned in the boondocks episode?
@WuDaMan, Jim Beam doesn’t make sausages. lol.
and not too many references to the “Pimp Named Slickback” episodes yet.
@Panama Jackson,
Any way if yo name is !3##^$*~ ?:{}| you probably a Ache Oh Ezzil. I hate you selfish 3!t@#
I need to quit it. smh
@Panama Jackson,
I stan for the Boondocks and particularly that episode
well, if we go by those rules, that means she’s a professional h* with representation. are we talking about those girls too? cuz then you would know. you would be PAYING in one way or another
@Errboday,
but 4 reals. Is there a litmus test for moral character? I mean in the anthology inspired by God (read Bible) it says, ‘all have sinned and fallen short of the glory’. yo no se`
@WuDaMan,
OMG – the track running in high heels!!
“It’s like you’re a Captain Save A…..me.”
Please don’t have me at my desk wheezing. Again.
@WuDaMan,
Lol. I think it’s Jimmy Dean sausages. I didn’t even catch that the first time around.
@Voiceofreason,
take it from the exe roommate of an alcoholic trus me that shyt will get you effed up.
Happy New year All!!!
Can you keep a VSB glossary on the side…some times I forget what each term mean
…lol Great and funny Post as usual!!
@Jenna Marie Christian,
welcome and sh*t. and, about the glossary, we started one here:
http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/vsb-glossary/
@Jenna Marie Christian,
Welcome **Diva Dust v. 2.0 ™**
@Jenna Marie Christian, i was thinking the same thing about the glossary! for that you get a ‘welcome and sh!t’ with two *PT (platinum tipped) gold stars*
Hi everybody!
Lucy loosethighs? Hilarity.
@8th Wonder,
They tried to open a fast food restaurant around the corner from my mom’s called “Juicy Lucy’s”. The food was delicious – until you made the mistake of going inside and realized the meat was runnin’ loose on the floor…
@Lil’T,
It’s always the dirty places that have good food. And when you find out about the nastyness, it just breaks your heart.
@eff yo couch,
yeah somebody’s Mama said that a clean kitchen makes food taste better?
@8th Wonder,
Hidie ho there, e-twin!!
To have you back, good it is. Missed you, I have.
Gem sees you keepin up with those resolutions, gurrl.
@Gem of the Ocean,
Indeed. Even mismatched socks, wearing I am.
@8th Wonder, I missed you too eif
Today’s topic has me thinking about the character Dashiki from the classic movie “Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood” (don’t ask why I can remember that long @ss title, but have trouble remembering my girls b-day, smh)
@eff yo couch, your girl’s bday is just not as important as remembering that title, that’s all
*just spit out water*
@8th Wonder, HELLO 8th,
you know better than to try and drink when reading, **passing 8th a towel to wipe off computer**
ooh girl, thank ya.
@eff yo couch,
lmao!! i remember that title too. can’t seem to remember what i did 2 days ago, but yeah… i understand, bruh.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
Oh how Ive missed my Smart Brothas! I’m glad to see everyone made it safely throught the holiday season!
On todays post I dont have too much else to add. Except maybe if her hair is always jacked.
In college, all the chics with the whipped hair were usually getting it in constantly. Why get your hair done when you’re just going to sweat it out later that night?
“Why get your hair done when you’re just going to sweat it out later that night?”
@Dom,
they could be players for the Rutgers Women’s Basketball team.
Okay I know that was wrong to say, but I couldn’t resist
ok, see, now you’re on timeout.
@eff yo couch,
Hahahahahaha!! Wrong, but funny.
@eff yo couch,
sending you to the corner is a moot point, isn’t it?
Also today’s topic can be solved with a simple equation.
(the number of the ho in questions kids) divied by (the number of babies dadies)
If your answer is more than 2 then either has a bad judgement of character or she’s a ho.
But like it was mentioned a up-thread some ho’s are very hygienic
@eff yo couch, and what of the smart h*’s who aint never had no babies, not all h*’s got kids
@Intellectual Hedonist,
“and what of the ‘smart h*’s’ who…”
I think that’s an oxymoron, lol.
ok so I have a serious question as it relates to this topic:
What if you inherently aren’t a ho but have a ho streak ( a period of time that you need to just do you and others randomly) you get it out of your system and reform yourself (whatever that means)
Can you comeback from H*dum, or is it truly once a H* always a H*?
@Intellectual Hedonist,
I don’t have an answer, but I wonder. Can you start out being a h*, or does one work their way up?
That girl who wanted it in the backdoor in my earlier comment? It was her first time.
….or so she says…
@Gem of the Ocean,
Touche’
I was gonna say that we were 15 at the time she told me about this and that made it more likely that it was her first time, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything either.
15?!?!?!?!?!?!?! *faints*
@Gem of the Ocean,
RIGHT!! I thought the same thing! Wtf is a 15 year old girl doing even thinking about getting backdoored?!?!?!
@pgh muse,
…from the p.o.v. of a high school teacher, u’d be amazed about the things they “think about” (read: do).
@WordSmith
She may have just been wanting to keep her “virgin” status. I remember back in high school there was a rumor that this couple only had anal s3x because she wanted to continue claiming that she was a virgin.
@V Renee,
I call that an “everything but girl” or “virgin ho”. They’re usually in high school or college and figure as long as they don’t go through with having s3x they can do everything else with as many guys as they want. I knew this chick who was always “just taking a shower with a guy” or giving him a professional, but she was still a virgin.
@V Renee,
I lived in Morocco for 3 years. And most of my girlriends (from very “proper” families) were getting in the backdoor to keep their “virginity” for marriage.
*smh at that very sad reality*
@Intellectual Hedonist, “Can you comeback from H*dum, or is it truly once a H* always a H*?”
Question of the day I suppose.
@IVR and IH, I actually believe in the concept of a “rehibilitated hoe”. Just as a teenage girl can grow to be a rehabilitated hoodrat who reforms her ways. Or maybe I just believe in hope…who knows.
@Monk,
“rehibilitated hoe”.
LMFAO
cranberry gingerale on my keyboard. thank ya very much.
@Monk,
I’ve noticed that rehabed hos like to talk ish about hos on active duty. Probably because they secretly want to get back in the game.
@Voiceofreason, “I’ve noticed that rehabed hos like to talk ish about hos on active duty. Probably because they secretly want to get back in the game.”
LoL @ hos on active duty . . . I have noticed this also . . .
@IVR,
You owe me my life back!
***DEAD*** @ “h*s on active duty”
@Intellectual Hedonist,
Good question.
I’m also wondering what if you are good girl with ho tendencies? Does that make you a ho?
What if you are reading all the responses and breathe a sigh of relief that you haven’t fallen under any of the descriptions? Does being slightly paranoid that your past may fall under someone’s definition of ho make you a ho?
@Intellectual Hedonist
“Can you comeback from H*dum, or is it truly once a H* always a H*?”
I think you can comeback from H*dum, look at Superhead…oh wait nevermind she’s not reformed. What about Paris Hilton, oh wait nevermind. Maia Campbell?? oh wait her slutacious ways were due to crack. Ummmmmm what about Tracy from up the street. She made a comeback. She’s in the choir at church now and doesn’t miss bible study. So I guess a comeback is possible!
@Intellectual Hedonist
“Can you comeback from H*dum, or is it truly once a
H* always a H*?”
I think you can visit Ho-dom. You just have to make sure you don’t take an overnight bag, and be careful not to move there.
Cause once you take up residency in Ho-dom, there’s no get back.
@V Renee,
Maia Campbell also had a lot of issues with getting attention from her mom who was a serious workaholic (one of my girls grew up with her in LA). Then her mom had such an untimely passing so I think she’s struggling with personal issues.
@V Renee,
…one time for Tracy.
@Intellectual Hedonist,
I’ma man up & draw the hard line. No, Yes. I mean a Lion can go vegan but he gonna want some antelope. It would have to be a program to follow like the 12 steps of whoardom deliverance service included.
@WuDaMan,
” I mean a Lion can go vegan but he gonna want some antelope. ”
Oh lawd…why must I cry?! lol
I’ve been reading the site for a minute, but never commented. Great site! You all are very entertaining. My co-workers think I’m losing it because I am always cackling at my desk.
If you ever go to a house party or “get-together” of the girl that you are dating/getting to know and the male to female ratio is 7:1, most likely the overflow of men are jump-offs.
I have a friend who is always throwing some sort of party at her place and this is always the case. I never go there with the intention of meeting a guy, because she has usually dealt with all of them and none of them know. She’s good, because she works the room, but never really stays with one guy for too long. It’s always a hilarious situaition for those who know the deal.
@I was wondering….,
Welcome, and thanks for sharing. I do apreciate this creapy chester grin that I got from your friend’s sittuation. lol
@I was wondering….,
Sounds like your friend is very talented if the fellas can’t see what’s going on. Or the guys are slow or don’t really care.
@Monk,
That’s what I was thinking.
I was like “girlfriend’s got skillz”.
In more ways than one.
*rimshot*
@miss t-lee,
iew rimshot just iew hahaha
@WuDaMan,
LMAO!!!!
Not literally….you’re nastee.
*sniggling*
@WuDaMan, I am embarrassed that when i read rimshot I was with you Wu.
**SMH** walking slowly with lowered head to to the prayer cubicle
@Intellectual Hedonist & WuDaMan
*sighs* Why the gutter minds? Yall some temporary pervs, lol. When Miss T said *rimshot*, I immediately thought of a drummer’s high-hat being played after a phrase worthy of acknowledgment.
This is so discouraging. Et tu, IH? I would expect that of Wu, but you? *sighs* Please say it ain’t so.
@RedBeanzNRice,
hold up. she started out saying she got skills. I was like what kinda skills well the commonality in the invited guests was that they have been seen naked by the hostess…
@I was wondering….,
Umm, for some reason parties with a 7:1 ratio of men to women make me veeerrry nervous. They’re either desperately seeking female company – or they’re a little too comfy with no women around. Sounds like you may be in a college setting though, which is totally different.
@Lil’T,
i was tlaking to a guy recently and he was sharing with me stories of how he SWINGS and he described a similar ratio. Typically there needs to be more men than women at these functions cause the male recovery time is longer than the woman’s
@I was wondering….,
welcome and sh*t. and…
If you ever go to a house party or “get-together” of the girl that you are dating/getting to know and the male to female ratio is 7:1, most likely the overflow of men are jump-offs.
I have a friend who is always throwing some sort of party at her place and this is always the case. I never go there with the intention of meeting a guy, because she has usually dealt with all of them and none of them know. She’s good, because she works the room, but never really stays with one guy for too long. It’s always a hilarious situaition for those who know the deal.
…i know of someone who fits this profile to a T, so much so that i think we might be talking about the same person
@The Champ,
The fact that you replied “to a T” makes me wonder…
@I was wondering…., another one sucked into the abyss…welcome and sh!t…*PT gold stars*
and it’s a bit late so i’ll throw some borrowed *diva dust v 2.0 ™* your way since bbmo is off duty.
Stop it w/ the Socratic sage seeking & sequestering of selfish systems on secksuality…
Here’s the chase’s cut. You wanna know if your punjabi princes is a penile profuctory pincushion? I’ll tell you how you know.
1. Define a eich Oh ezzel for yourself (really what = a hoar and nothing else in this world)
a. if you got to change rules and names and categories of penetration in order to protect the innocent (most times you n yo Mama) [really it shouldn't but hey Panama said to thine own self be true for this post]
2. Hold this person to your definition’s standard.
& if the 7″ clear heals fit so be it.
“You wanna know if your punjabi princes is a penile profuctory pincushion?”
@WuDaMan,
You never cease to amaze me with your use of words. lol
@WuDaMan,
7″ clear heels are all the rage on the skreets. All the flyest ladies wear them, and they just stroll up and down the blvd showing off their great shoes.
oh, wait…
@Lil’T,
bwuahahahaha ya killin me Lil’T. Because everybody knows that the modern day Cinderella only has to get home by club let out time 2:00 a.m. lol
@WuDaMan,
Dang, they gave that ho an extra 2 hours? How many upstanding chicks do you know that do their most “magical” work at night?
@Lil’T,
I knew a few that did shift work. I’m from and still work in industy. Where the motto is ‘production stops for no one’ Nino Brown prolly took a page out of U.S. Steel or some other industrial plant’s playbook.
@WuDaMan,
And that’s what should matter. What do you consider a ho?
What every other Harry, Dick, and Tom think (or do) shouldn’t really matter.
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,
Actually what happens when you meet someone who you think is ‘that dude for yourself’ and you begin to care about what they think. Especially what they think of you. What then do you change your game plan and step things up or do you get honest and hit the bricks? Or even if yall is the it & they learn to get over it.
@WuDaMan,
It’s quite simple really. He’s not the dude for me if his description doesn’t fit mine.
Are we confusing “ho” with “freak” in this post?
@Lil’T,
How would you define the difference?
@Luvtheshoes,
to me, “ho” has to do with volume, while “freak” concerns actual acts and sh*t
@Luvtheshoes,
I would say a freak is defined by what she does and a ho is defined by who she does. IMO you can be with only one person all your life, but some of the things y’all do together are well beyond kinky. Making you a freak. Your run of the mill ho may never do anything more fun than missionary, but if she “missionaries” with every guy on the football team the scarlet “H” will glow on her forhead. If I were a guy I would be ecstatic about having a freak in my life. Not so much with the ho.
@Lil’T, “Your run of the mill ho may never do anything more fun than missionary, but if she “missionaries” with every guy on the football team the scarlet “H” will glow on her forhead. If I were a guy I would be ecstatic about having a freak in my life. Not so much with the ho.”
Yeah but say you meet a freak, who is a freak from jump . . . kinda questionable there . . . maybe her “girlfriends” are very vivid about their acts and she just wanted to try them with you . . . or maybe she is pan del pueblo. You can NEVER know . . .
@Lil’T,
I think we are in many ways than one.
Or would that be “justifying it so wearing the hat?”, then please hand over my crystal clear heels. Thanx much.
@Sula 2.09. Requirements Gathering Phase.,
Girl, my clear heels are in the shop for repair!
I’m wondering the same thing as Lil’ T and I also want to know from the VSB’s… WTF is a good “girl” and is she over 25? Cuz all these distinctions and shyt seem like characterizations for very young people… who have may still live at home or something.
@pgh muse,
My mamma said that a good girl is good at what she does. Then again, my mamma didn’t recuperate from New Years Eve until yesterday.
@Lil’T,
I want to sit next to Lil’T at the VSB BBQ
@pgh muse,
“good girl” is a relative term. but, to your point, there are men who intentionally only date women much younger than them because they’re less likely to have been “used up”, which is a roundabout way of saying that theyre still “good.”
what it comes down to is the fact that most (not all…but most) men, if given the choice, would rather not be in a serious relationship with a women who’s considerably more “experienced” than he is.
before we start railing about the double-standardness…it goes both ways. on the flip side, most women probably wouldnt choose to be with a guy who’s considerably less experienced than she is. in a nutshell, while many guys don’t mind being the “teacher”, many women seem to abhor it.
ok…i’m getting off track here. i just wanted to give some insight about the reasoning and thinking behind the “good girl” distinction, and why it’s relevant.
@The Champ,
I won’t rail against the double standard, Champ. It’s archaic… but for those who continue to subject themselves to that thought process, good luck with that. But i do have to address this…
while many guys don’t mind being the “teacher”, many women seem to abhor it.
I have to disagree with this. The only women who abhor being the teacher in a physical relationship with a man are prolly those who don’t and have never had an orgasm. This is another by-product of the double standard and the patriarchy. As a woman, you have to be the teacher when you first get physical with someone… otherwise how will he please you? Every woman is different and even the most experienced man may need some tips and pointers on what lights a particular womans fire. So… i think this is a male ego problem once again
@pgh muse,
Clapping in my cubicle….
Stand up! Tell that man it’s the horizontal wiggle, not the verticle, that puts the shiver in your spine and the tingle in your pringle! Awww, don’t let him forget ladies, never let him forget! Yooou hold the keys to the treasure chest! *wiping sweat from brow* YOOUUU are the master of your “dome”-main! *smacking the back of my head* YOOOUUU are the principal! He is the student! Yesssaa!
ok, ok – no more coffee for Lil’T today.
@pgh muse,
Every woman is different and even the most experienced man may need some tips and pointers on what lights a particular womans fire.
i dont disagree with any of this. everyone is unique, and everyone has different buttons and sh*t.
all i’m saying is that its more of a stigma for a guy to be less experienced, and also that there are many women who’ll openly state some variant of they “aint got time to teach noone”. i’ve seen/heard this sentiment expressed numerous times, even on this site
in a nutshell, maybe the male ego contributes to this mindset, but no more than the “full-of-sh*t-ness” trait that many women possess.
@The Champ,
but no more than the “full-of-sh*t-ness” trait that many women possess
Lol. Touche, Champ.
@pgh muse,
“The only women who abhor being the teacher in a physical relationship with a man are prolly those who don’t and have never had an orgasm.”
I agree! You have to tell a man what you like right?
@Ivy St.,
Maybe not. Hows this a guy can be body language fluent. Have a g-spot geiger counter in his trifecta (hands & heads). And you wanna bring up old shyt. Stop being a victim of your own mutitaskability and enjoy the ride. You win some you lose some. but @ least you didn’t give him the instructions on sunshining you when he was out for a quickie. Now you out in the day time w/ your high beams on looking for who may just have been a mediocre lay. smh You’d think all the testing women do they would learn to use it to their advantage but nooo they just get all greedy… *ranting*
take off the Alexxys Tyler pilot outfit. lol
@WuDaMan, umm . . .who is the translator for these shenanigans happening on my screen here? someone help.
@IVR,
mah bad. here goes. Lets say that the woman is a little less experienced than she thinks. How about budy may know how to use his tools better and diffrently than she has ever experienced. If she gets all busy micro managing him she’ll miss out on a new and exciting experience.
After all she learned her tricks w/ some other trick and there is a reason she isn’t boinking him on said night. And maybe if he does the same old cecks move it may remind you why you don’t do it w/ the ex and sour thaughts are running through your head. Stop Thinkin So Much and Enjoy this Good D. So what I’m saying is no you don’t have to tell a man what you like all the time ladies. I just hate being micro managed. & under estmated.
@WuDaMan, You just want to have something to say to me… what you typed made no sense. Happy New year to you too! The monkeys say “ooo AA Hi”
To respond to your coded comment, there is a way to do it. A woman doesn’t say “NO DO IT LIKE THIS YOU IDIOT.” She is gentle and says “right there” or something like that. You get it. I know men can read body language but he only gets a positive response when he does something good. If he never makes it there, then what should I do… wait?!?!? And quietly at that. LOL!
*takes of pilot outfit and puts on rodeo outift*
@Ivy St.,
Okay so happy new year to you too. What can I say I’m an introvert. When ole dude does some dumb shyt yeah say something. But if he’s really doing it right and knows what to pay attention to. You don’t have the ability to fathom the words ‘right’ or ‘there.’ Heya lil monkeys. Is yall high today? (that was what you do to them get em high and see how they react in withdrawl just me speculating)
@Ivy St., “If he never makes it there, then what should I do… wait?!?!? And quietly at that. LOL!”
WuDaMan thank you for the translation that makes more sense to me . . . I believe people know what gets them off. I don’t mind the guidance because I know different women have different “things” . . . some want you to bite it, some want suction, some want both . . . some like it like the dogs do it . . . some hate it . . . I think I have to agree with Ivy on this one. If the woman doesn’t tell me I am just going to do something that got another chick off and that may not work for said chick.
@Wu,
I just hate being micro managed. & under estmated.
I’m not saying ANYTHING about anything like this. Me personally, before i sleep with a man we have a number of conversations. I’m into communicating. So it’s not micromanagement – it’s communication. I think that people should talk about sex before they do it. At that point u can discuss ur likes and dislikes.
@IVR
I can hear you in effing stereo. I’m just saying that if you say do this just like this. You are discounting what could be off a natural interaction. I mean if someone is extra pasionate or excited in the bedroom. That is going to come across in the bedroom. And wouldn’t you like to know if your sentiments are reciprocated. I’m like this don’t give out the safe and cecks security codes before it’s time. Ole boy could then just rest on the shared info just to get him some stand by n keep doing just enough to get him some more.
@ Muse
Just saying who knows if there isn’t something new that this one person is capable of doing that you have not tried are not privey to that would be your new key to tingleville. Just saying keep your options open. You may be turning down a free multiple settling for one Woooo We. You never know.
If he never makes it there, then what should I do… wait?!?!? And quietly at that. LOL!
*takes of pilot outfit and puts on rodeo outift*
i know that’s right!!!!!!!!! *hi fives ivy*
@pgh muse,
I teach children all day, now I gotta teach him, too?! I can’t do it…I won’t do it.
We can have a dialogue. We can explore. But, I’m officially off-duty.
@The Champ,
Slow Clap good job The Champ. I likes this sagetastic esplanation.
@WuDaMan,
thanks and sh*t.
@pgh muse,
I was perusing the site and thinking the exact same thing: who exactly is the average VSB reader?
@pgh muse,
either under 25 or just not in your circle… btw likes that black slip w/ lacey ruffles?)
@WuDaMan,
Maybe… but I don’t run w/ a pack of loose women. Most of my friends and associates are grown, 27 – 33, and some are married and or have been with the same partner for years. Some may have had their ho sh*t phase, but these ladies are experienced from the most part because of long term commitments, not being ho’s, or disrespecting themselves. They haven’t necessarily slept with a whole lot of men, but during the course of an LTR you are going to learn a few things about yourself, your partner, and sex. So unless you’re completely sheltered and/or inexperienced, or innocent an adult female is going to know what she likes. And if she’s smart she’s going to share that with her partner, hence being the teacher. He’ll teach her how to please him too. But that works both ways.
@pgh muse,
*high five PGH* You are on a roll.
@Ivy St.,
Okay 1. I know how people learn about cecks.
2. I just think that you all are selling yourself and your partner short when you micro manage (read undermind his intelagence and ability) 3. You aren’t accounting for what could be a new and awesome experience. Because different people have different energies @ different times.
If you keep living in the past you gonna keep getting what you always got.
@WuDaMan,
I’m not disagreeing. Believe me… i’m in an ltr and sometimes he tells me he’s driving… and that’s just what happens. But that doesn’t mean we haven’t communicated about what i like. it just depends on the energy and the moment. Cuz i like to drive too ;-P
@pgh muse,
Yall too much lol
You know shes a hoe when her vag looks like a wizard’s sleeve. haha
But on a more serious note, it’s hard to determine if a woman is a ho or if she’s just adventurous.
@revengeof thenerdette,
oh snap I love that line was that from ‘role models’?
@WuDaMan,
That line was from Borat. I’m happy you noticed.
@revengeof thenerdette,
oh snap not borat lmao
If she let’s one of your boys hit, then let’s you hit eventually, all the while knowing that he probably told you he hit, then she may qualify as a slore
Been with a member of every frat in the NPHC? Coincidence? Maybe… or she might be a c*mbucket
@SouthernCharm, ouch@cumbucket… funny as hell tho
Who: *Stroy aka D*pain
What:Missing
When: Last seen on VSB in 2008
Where: Somewhere in NY?
Why: “Nobody knows…” (holla Peyso)
Message: D*stroy, please come back. Aint no financial crisis, baby makin, baby birthin, i love it when you call me big poppa, you IS the favva, real life scenario gon keep you out our e-lives! I thought we were e-bffs????
I am willing to provide my “more people” who miss D*pain list upon request (Aif, Luvvie, etwin be on standby)
If yous lurkin like a muhbrotha, just know we miss you!
@Have You Seen Me?, If YOU have any information….
*cue fog and scary music*
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!
to the poster of this comment: i know who you are!!! and you’s a damn fool!!!
but fa real tho, where the heck you at, D-peezy!?!?!
@Have You Seen Me?,
As I watched my 1 year old nephew open his and everyone elses gifts I thought of D*Pain (and severla others that had their first chillen this year) and what joy it is to witness someone’s first Christmas.
the image was ruined by my 7 year old neice counting the amount of her sister’s gifts.
Anyway
D* where are you?
Happy New Year lovely VSB people.
Your girl might be a ho if her hair is always messed up a day or two after going to the salon.
Your girl might be a ho if her cute outfits are always wrinkled (she’s probably always pulling off her clothes and tossing em around).
Your girl might be a ho if she smells like stale sweat mixed with bath and body works. Don’t let the cucumber melon fool you, she’s probably got a little bottle in her bag.
@shhwhisper, “Don’t let the cucumber melon fool you, she’s probably got a little bottle in her bag.”
My training instructor during boot camp referred to the cucumber melon spray as fufu hoe spray and we used it to mop the dorm. This is not one of the smellgoods that I like because it smelled exactly the way you described it when used to mop floors . . . memories.
She a hoe if she always rock hella disguise. wigs thick makeup rocks outlandish garb talks fast or real loud.
@WuDaMan, lmao what?!?!? if she talks real fast?!?!
@ WuDaMan
I’m not saying micromanage. I like a new trick just as much as the next one. BUT, if it’s not working then I’m gonna have to teach you. I’m not saying I’m the most experiences (I don’t have to be), but I still know what I like.
@Ivy St.,
YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!! lol
just playing. It’s time to get the fluck up out of here.
i feel like it’s been forever since i’ve commented here…
what about swinging? i mean, i don’t see anything wrong with going to the swingers club to have sex in public but with other couples like orgie style i think there’s some evidence there…
or if you see her making eyes/blushing with the cashier or counter guy/girl at inserrections (or whatever ur favorite sex shop is)
or if once you go to inserrections, they know her name and have a room reserved for her…