Featured, Lists, Parenting, Theory & Essay

I Never Cried Until My Son Was Born (Because Patriarchy), But Now I Cry At Every Damn Thing

Before my son was born, I did not cry much. For instance, I was able to successfully navigate the untimely demise of both Rickey and The Boy in the Striped Pajamas without so much as shedding a tear.

This was partly because I was raised by single mother, so my uncles, afraid I might turn out to be a ‘momma’s boy,’ drilled into me their understanding of the emotional life of a Black man. That is, I was to be quiet, strong and angry about the inequality of Black life. This anger, however, could be channeled constructively with sports or drowned with alcohol, but it was to be never, ever be expressed with tears.

Therefore, for the first 25 years of my life, I seldom cried. When I graduated from undergrad and grad school, I barely smiled. When Bambi’s mom caught an L, I didn’t feel a thing. I even made through Will asking uncle Phil, “How come he don’t want me” without feeling much.

I was, for all intents and purposes, the opposite of a sensitive thug—then something strange happened. On April 17, 2008, my son was born…and the floodgates opened. Now, I rarely get through a day without something messing with my allergies.

To wit, these are the last 10 times I cried in the past month.

1. When Mufasa holds up Simba at the beginning of the Lion King.

In fact, now any time I hear the some “Circle of Life” I have to hold back tears.

2. The moment I discovered that Moonlight won the award for Best Picture…

…and now, having seen the film, anything that reminds me of Moonlight — including the moon — makes me cry.

3. Hearing the song “City of Lights” from La La Land.

I know, I know. The movie is very, very white, but that score goes hard in the paint and, for some reason, makes any room I’m in very dusty.

4. Watching a Viagra commercial

I legit shed tears over a commercial about a blue pill. These seasoned Black folks looked so in love.

5. Learning that a black person lived to be 93.

When I hear of black folks who lived to see their 90s, I reflect upon the unmitigated levels of racism they must have endured. I am awed and humbled by their sacrifice. When I hear of a white person who lived that long, I automatically assume they are racist until they prove otherwise. So no tears.

6. Listening to “Lately” by Jodeci.

I have no idea why, but that song wrecked me, and I lost it when K-Ci (the ultimate nonsinging, singing-ass nigga of all time) starts to yell.

7. Watching the Unsung Episode about Montell Jordan

…and learning that he no longer owns the rights to the song “The Is How We Do It.” Prince was right when he said: “If you don’t own your masters, your masters own you.”

8. Listening Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance with Somebody”

She was amazing in that song. Damn I miss her.

9. Witnessing Black Excellence

I cried when one of my dearest friends (and frat brother) Elon Dancy became a full professor at the University of Oklahoma. I cried again when he was named Associate Dean for Community Engagement and Academic Inclusion. Also, when my other friend and frat brother, Eric Gill, finished his D.Min at Virginia Union University, I got mad misty eyed.

I’ve learned the importance of celebrating black brilliance. We are taught in this white supremacist world to be jealous of one another’s successes—that there are only so many crumbs that fall from the tables of whiteness and we must, therefore, fight over each one. I reject that notion. If we don’t celebrate us, then no one else will.

10. Experiencing Injustice

When I saw the video of Terrence Crutcher being killed I cried. It happened again when Betty Shelby was found not guilty. Both were tears of anger. Not because I was surprised, but because I had allowed myself to feel hope that justice would be done. I should have known better.

Filed Under: , ,
Law W.

Lawrence Ware is a philosopher of race at his day job and writes if the kids go to bed on time. He is a contributing editor of NewBlackMan (in Exile) and a frequent contributor to The Root and other publications. He has been featured in the New York Times and you can sometimes find him discussing race and politics on HuffPost Live and Public Radio International. He is the kind of Steelers fan that enjoys watching the Cowboys lose.

  • Welcome to the boohoo club!

    I cried in the shower this morning at the thought that my child has some incurable form of stomach cancer when he probably just had to sh*t.

    • I have been crying tearing up at all type of ish this month. So much so I thought I was pregnant. But then I remembered the time I had penetration chex and breathe a sigh of relief.

      I’m just emotional or tuned in to all things empathetic.

      • LMNOP

        Sometimes I wonder if I’m pregnant, think “oh no, that’s not possible” and then think “oh no, what if I had an immaculate conception?”

        • BrothasKeeper

          Imagine how insanely wealthy you’d be if you conceived immaculately.

          • She’d be committed. People are questioning Jesus’ conception. Mary was a THOT trended last year. Lol

          • Gibbous

            Are you kidding? Jesus could come and do ALL of the miracles, and they’d still have him and his followers committed.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        *But then I remembered the time I had penetration chex*
        Puts on Jodeci’s I’m Still Waiting and puts lighter up in the air for @Queen@:disqus

      • For some reason the thought of pregnancy is scary and comforting to me these days. Somebody hand me a pill or something lol

      • Kas

        What about that dream Chex you have been engaging in?

        • I’m still waiting on the negrus to show up.

      • Kat

        I be asking myself that sometimes…though I know its illogical. Really.

      • SororSalsa

        Why is that the first thing we think of when we get teary? I’ve been crying over everything for about a week and it’s taken everything I have not to run out and buy a pregnancy test.

    • miss t-lee

      I’ve cried all morning before leaving for work, and held it together until my boss asked me if I was okay about an hour ago and I was like no, as another tear escaped…lol

      • LMNOP

        Oh that’s the worst. If I’m crying before work I throw water on my face and then slap my face, a weird thing I picked up from my mom lol

        • miss t-lee

          Oh, I know that drill. :)

          • Mary Burrell

            E-hugs

            • miss t-lee

              Thanks Mary. :)

        • Cheech

          I listen to “I Feel Sanctified” from Commodores Live. Works every time.

      • Ugh I know what you mean! I hate crying at work, but I wear my emotions on my face and it’s so obvious when I’m not my regular self.

        • miss t-lee

          Yeah. I absolutely hate it. He was genuinely concerned though because he knew this wasn’t the norm.

        • Mary Burrell

          Cyber hug

      • Kas

        Hugs sweetie

        • miss t-lee

          Thanks, Kas.

      • I_AmU
        • miss t-lee

          Thanks chica. I’m maintaining.

      • NonyaB?
        • Kat

          So cute…

        • Regina

          Very cute!

        • miss t-lee

          Thanks chica.

        • Mary Burrell

          That’s so sweet ?

      • pls

        It will get better *hugs*

        • miss t-lee

          I’m much better today, thank you. :)

    • Sweet Potato Kai ?

      Stomach cancer though?
      <<>>

      • He’s been complaining of a stomach ache since last night and into this morning. Saturday night hubby sent me a snap because the kid threw up randomly in the living room (I was out of town) and now my guilt is killing me.

        • miss t-lee

          Is he okay? I remember my brother’s appendicitis starting that same way.

          • I haven’t heard anything from the school, so I’m assuming he’s OK. If he still doesn’t have an appetite this evening, something’s wrong.

            • miss t-lee

              Gotcha. Hoping he’s feeling better. :)

              • Thanks! I’mma go home and love up on him later lol

        • Sweet Potato Kai ?

          But you gave that baby cancer! He probably just needs some Robetussin and prune juice!!

          • Quirlygirly

            You know guilt or fear can make you jump to crazy conclusions

    • siante

      crying at just the thought of loved ones being in danger is perfectly normal.

      • I’ve thought about my grandma passing and had to leave work because I was so distraught.

        I mean I didn’t really HAVE to..but ya know..for emphasis and stuff lmao

    • LMNOP

      I cry about imaginary situations pretty regularly.

      • That is one of my biggest pet peeves about myself. I always send myself into a frenzy unnecessarily lol

      • pls

        It starts out as, “Gee, I love my mom. What would I do without her?”
        Then I’m all, “Wait, what WOULD I do if mom was no longer here?”
        Next thing you know I done gave the eulogy at her funeral and fought my brother at the funeral after party all in my head. *Slaps forehead*

    • Kas

      When I really want to torture myself I imagine what would I do if something happened and I could only save one of my kids.

      • Bro. My face is hot and my nose is burning just reading the sentence.

        • Kas

          I’ll go you one better. If one of my children was to fall from a great height, would I jump after so they wouldn’t be alone on the fall.

          • Blue Skies Bring Tears

            Oh, that’s heartbreaking. ? And touching beyond words, wow. I often imagine the Sophie’s Choice thing happening with my kids, but this… never thought of it before. Gulp. I… my allergies.

      • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

        I was just thinking about this the other day. I’m getting those parent fears but my hear start pounding and I practice some breathing or focus exercises and force myself to stop thinking about it. I’m pretty sure it would lead to tears if I kept on.

        • Kas

          I spend some time thinking through horrible scenarios so that I don’t freeze if I need to spring into action. By the way, the answer is you jump and try to get your body between the child and the ground so there is a sliver of a chance they survive.

          • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

            Absolutely.

    • Quirlygirly

      I cry when something is super sad or I’m stressed or extremely nervous about speaking in front of a crowd.

      I remember when my first step show, I cried so hard, I had my whole team tearing up. Someone taped it and you can see me wiping my tears on the tape.

      • Awwww Q I can imagine you in the corner of the stage boo-hooing lol

        I cry like that too..

        • Quirlygirly

          Girl, I was a mess..But we blew the step show stage tf up tho..It became a tradition, if I cried before a show..we were gonna mash up di place..but if I didn’t cry we were gonna bomb out. lol

    • Photoshop’s a helluva drug

      Yeah I cried so much this week I took a pregnancy test. I mean in the shower alone yeah but in front of the contractor who is 4 months behind on my property? Not cool.

    • NonyaB?

      “… when he probably just had to sh*t” laid me out flat! I’m sure he’II be fine.

      • He’s a dramaticass Gemini just like his daddy! But I’ve been worried about him all day still…(rolls eyes)

        • pls

          So you feel my pain? My daughter, her father, and my evil ex that keeps tryna finagle his way back in my life are all geminis. I’m a capricorn so generally #Icant

  • I implore all men to watch This is Us and unleash your inner tears. We all need a good cry and this show will do it for you.

    • Sigma_Since 93

      No lies told here

    • Sweet Potato Kai ?

      I didn’t shed a sangle tear in that season. Not even the ducks.

      • LMNOP

        Wow.

      • Val

        Lol

      • You may need to get your ducts checked. Lol

        • Sweet Potato Kai ?

          I’m dead inside Queen!

      • Regina

        Well dang, S Potato K, I’m adding you to my prayer list. Lord let those tears flow from those ducts!

        • Sweet Potato Kai ?

          Gone and send them blessings up! But I just didn’t feel anything for pops when he died.

          • Regina

            When they told us Pop’s back story I was broken up over the lost potential and broken relationships. It was so sad because I saw that story in so many people I know. It takes a lot to make me cry but I tear up quite easily. I have asthma so I have to regulate strong emotions or it “takes my breath away”. So sad, happy, angry, all the family knows if I go to the edge I need my inhaler.

      • Madam CJ_Skywalker

        Lol. I mean I only shed a thug tear during the Memphis episode, so I’m not far off from you.

      • MsSula

        I am chief supreme crier. I cry at everything, seriously everything. I cried so much while watching Lion that my husband requested we stopped watching the movie if it was making me cry that hard. But I have not cried watching This is Us at all. I loved it, but it had that undercurrent of Hope that made me all cheesy like, but no tears.

        • Sweet Potato Kai ?

          Girl, I had the ugliest cry at the end of Lion! I was so glad I was alone, LOL . I was almost inconsolable, like, what is happening? I never do this!

          • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

            I know that movie will definitely make me cry. I don’t do well with lost/abused children stories.

    • miss t-lee

      Every episode has me bawling man. Especially the Nashville episode.

      • I was doing an ugly sob on my couch after that one.

        • miss t-lee

          Like my best friend called like 20 minutes after it went off and she thought something happened to someone I knew…lol I had to explain I was watching This Is Us…lol

      • Simms~

        I cried like these people were real. Snotty nose and everything.

        • miss t-lee

          Also.

    • Kas

      I never finished the first season. I loved it but it was tew much.

      • miss t-lee

        It’s definitely a lot. I tell people, please don’t try to binge watch that.

    • Looking4Treble

      My sister has been after me to watch it. I will try and catch it on Netflix this weekend.

    • Quirlygirly

      My mom watches that show..At the end of each episode she crying..Nope that is too much crying for me.

    • NonyaB?

      I’ve heard so much about the sea of tears around that show that I know I’ll never watch it. #TewMurch I rarely watch TV, my to-see list is extremely small, anyway.

    • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

      I hear great things about the storyline and the power of the show before.

    • pls

      I tried after that post on here few weeks back but couldn’t finish the first episode. Maybe I’ll give it a try again this week.

    • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

      I had to put it down after dude found out about his father being sick. My father passed from the C monster a few year ago, so nope.

  • I cried once between 1996 and 2006. After my parents died in ’12 & ’13 I cry a lot more often.

    • Val

      Sorry about your parents.

    • Kas

      My condolences. I can’t even begin to imagine.

    • NonyaB?

      My condolences for your parents’ passing.

  • Sigma_Since 93

    My tears come in seasons. I don’t cry often but when I do cry it’s because:
    The check came and the parrina posse gut punched my wallet.
    When I looked at the increase to my car insurance by adding Jr on
    When my kids got shots as kids
    My dudes winning at love and life
    I hope to cry when:
    The kids graduate from college
    We’re empty nesters and I can pop blue pills and Melvin in my house with reckless abandon
    When the check comes and the kids say “No Dad, we got this”

    • Sweet Potato Kai ?

      Any kinda pain to the kid is my Achilles heal. I can’t even pretend to hold it together!

      • KB

        The Newtown massacre had me wiping away eye sweat on the low and stretching my eyelids for air to dry my eyeballs out. Don’t mess with kids man.

    • KeciB

      That increase to the car insurance is no joke.

      • kingpinenut

        That’s why lil pinenutz gonna stay walkin

        • KeciB

          If police didn’t have a bad habit of shooting black men, I’d consider letting him ride dirty. Instead, I have to make him pay for half.

          • kingpinenut

            Well I have accept a certain reality in the USA….

            I hear ya tho

        • Sigma_Since 93

          The homies have gotten to the point where a) they can’t walk or b) I don’t trust folk (Dwight people). I refuse to have somebody (Dwight people) calling Hawaii 5.0 saying there’s a menacing man walking through my neighborhood when in reality it’s my lanky boys.

    • siante

      “When my kids got shots as kids”

      This is precious

      • AzucarNegra

        I know lots of parents who cry when their kids gets shots. I hate seeing children sick or hospitalised.

        • siante

          me too.

    • Zil Nabu

      Why did I read this as your kids got shot when they were kids? Maybe use the word vaccinated next time to eliminate confusion.

      • Madam CJ_Skywalker

        LOL. I did the same, smh.

    • Cheech

      The look of betrayal and anger that my 2 year old gave to the nice nurse after his first allergy shot was pure comedy gold.

      • Looking4Treble

        The surprised yelp followed by the big tears rolling down the cheeks of my then one-year old (she is twenty-four now) as she looked at me with the “How could you?” expression on her face when she got her ears pierced, especially since I was holding her at the time, almost took me out. Fortunately, a lollipop fixed it in about 15 seconds. I still remember that “You betrayed me!” look, though.

    • Looking4Treble

      “When the check comes and the kids say “No Dad, we got this”

      Man, that is on my list, too! Must be a Proud Papa’Bout Time kinda thing :-)

    • Regina

      I have 19 & 17 year old daughters with cars on my insurance. State Farm carries my wallet and give me what he wants me to have each month!

  • Val

    When I watched the Lesbian episode of Master of None I cried my eyes out while simultaneously laughing my head off. My gf thought I was going crazy for a sec there. Lol

    But, it caught me off guard because I’m not normally a weepy person. It felt good though. Like an emotional relief. And, as I write that, I think that’s really what crying is, an emotional relief, either happy or sad or both.

    It almost feels like medicine sometimes.

    • Sigma_Since 93

      That was a very good episode. I think it was the best one of season 2

      • Madam CJ_Skywalker

        LOL. yup, its the only episode I could actually watch. The rest had me snoozing…

    • AzucarNegra

      I had to show ” Once were warriors’ to a group of undergrads, because the lecturer could not make it to class. I was teary like heII. I am getting old

    • Keeping that secret from a family must be heII.

      • Val

        Nah, telling them is he\.

        • Ah. I always wondered if parents kind of see or have become adept at not seeing it.

          • Val

            Moreso adept at not seeing.

            • Sadly, that’s what I figured.

              I also figured it would a mix of “how could you chose this?”, “this looks bad”, and Bible stuff.

              • Val

                No bible stuff in my case or how could you chose this kind of things. I got silence and then shunned.

                • I’m sorry to hear that, Val. I still don’t know if my best friend’s brother is out yet.

                • miss t-lee

                  *hugs*

                • siante

                  I’m sorry to here this :(

                • grownandsexy2

                  Sometimes family is worried about what will the neighbors think. SMH. Do they still shun you?

                • Lea Thrace

                  reminder that family isnt always the one you share DNA with. sometimes family consists of the ones you choose to share love with.

        • cyanic

          None of my coming out stories are positive.

          • LMNOP

            Aw, I’m sorry to hear that, that’s got to be really hard.

            • cyanic

              My immediate family accepts it. My extended family varies. Not that people are outright hostile about it. But they never really dealt with me like that before because I was always too weird and too much.

          • Val

            Same.

            • LMNOP

              That’s so sad, I’m sorry you didn’t have any positive coming out experiences.

              • Val

                Thanks, L. It’s not unique to me, sadly.

          • AzucarNegra

            E-hug Cy

          • grownandsexy2

            Damn shame.

        • AzucarNegra

          I can imagine. Sorry you had to experience it Val. e-Hug

        • AzucarNegra

          Not on the same level but a friend of mine has a very funny story about telling her parents she was pregnant. Her mum was super religious. She was very nervous but managed to work up the courage, so she walked in to the kitchen one morning to tell them. When she told her parents, her mother immediately threw herself on the kitchen floor, tears streaming down her face. She started, ” Father, God, why? I warned you, I warned you! Can anyone walk on Satan’s ground and come off clean? No, I don’t think so! Can anyone put fire in their bosom and not be burnt? No, I do not think so!” My friend’s father started to make noise with his wife, asking why , why she has to carry on like that and if their daughter is not a woman who has a steady job. When she told us, we were cracking up. And for the duration of her pregnancy, we would often say ” Can anyone walk on Satan’s ground and come off clean? No I do not think so!”

          But then again her mother is very dramatic. She would hide money, and when she can’t remember where she had put it, would burst into tears and start lamenting how when she raised children and never thought she would raise vipers and thieves. When she would find the money, she would sheepishly tell them that she found it. And then the next time she puts away something and can’t find it , the cycle would start over.

          • Val

            Wow. Dramatic is an understatement, Tam. Lol

      • Michelle

        Whenever I hear about someone’s negative experience, when they decided to “come out” to their loved ones, I always wish that they had families similar to my dysfunctional-a$$ family.

        Reactions ranged from indifference to sarcasm.

        My family members maybe money-grubbing deviants, who will put contract hits out on each other, but they didn’t disowned their gay relatives.

        • Les Vegas

          Mine too!

    • Crying is like taking your soul to the laundromat.
      -Lyfe “I Gave Karlie a Fake Ring on TV” Jennings

      • Quirlygirly

        I was wondering what Lyfe Jennings middle name was? LOL

        • I’m here for the people.

    • Gibbous

      Yup. Have you heard of Cinematherapy? You watch those sad movies to help you cry so you feel better.

      • Val

        Interesting.

      • MsSula

        That has been my form of therapy for the past 15 years. Thankyouverymuch.

    • siante

      I just saw that episode yesterday (I cried when I couldn’t find out when season 3 was coming!), I was just thinking about how well done it was- I loved how this season he branched out to develop the characters in a way that was really unique.

    • I imagine young Val was hanging out with a lot of instagram girls back in the day

      • Val

        Not really. Thas not usually my type. I think you are projecting. Lol

        • Hadassah

          He definitely is. Having said that, what’s your type?

          • MsSula

            Alicia Keys? Lolll.

            • Hadassah

              Shiiiid. I know right. Val, never mind answering. Thanks girl!

        • Nope not at all.

    • D-Nice

      Everyone was amazing in that Episode – So glad Angela Bassett would agree to do a one-off appearance in a limited series. Bassett, Kim Whitley (the aunt), Lena Waithe (Denise), Ansari (Dev), the actors who played Dev and Denise as youngsters – all great. That was such an unexpected stand-alone episode.

      • Val

        Very unexpected and appreciated.

    • Simms~

      Prob my fav episode of Season 2.

    • Mary Burrell

      That’s such a good show and that was an excellent episode. Angela Bassett and Kim Whitley I don’t know who the old lady who was the grandmother but she was funny.

  • In my 30s I have discovered that I am getting soft in my old age. When I turned 30 I was an emotional mess – the whole not being where I thought I would be etc, etc. My sis told me, ma’am your hormones are playing a cruel joke on you.
    I cry at everything now, my dog Finally taking a poo (cuz in my head he’s dying), commercials, tv shows engagements, babies, #BlackExcellence, my friends doing big big things and music. And Im not gonna mention Lately came on apple music – and i booo-hoooed- at work.

  • AzucarNegra

    Different things make me teary now. Before the feeling of impotence would have me in tears, now not soo much. It is really stupid thing that have me teary

  • miss t-lee

    My tears are always right under the surface like the last 5 years or so. Life be lifing, man.

    • LMNOP

      I have cried at commercials, YouTube videos, people being nice

      • miss t-lee

        Also.
        I cried at Walgreen’s during the easter season because I saw a Peeps display. Those were my nephew’s fave. Old nasty azz candy…lol

    • Kas

      Life comes at you hard and heavy too frequently. I been having a good run about the past 3 years and now I jump Everytime the phone rings. I know it can’t last.

      • miss t-lee

        Indeed. Sh*t is for the birds.

      • SororSalsa

        I know the feeling. It’s been 4 years to the day that I was laid off the last time (3x in just over a year), and I feel like the hammer has got to drop soon.

        • Kas

          As the saying goes, I was looking for a job when I got my last one. Economy is getting stronger and you have already proven that you can weather a storm.

    • Don’t let me see and old black man driving a late 80’s F150.

      • miss t-lee

        Listennnn

        • BrothasKeeper

          One of y’all posted a video a while back of the 100-year-old Black man who still drove his F 100 around Austin and had a 93-year-old girlfriend. My eyes perspired a bit.

          • miss t-lee

            Yeah, that’s Mr. Overton! :) They just had a party of this 111th, and he got a street named after him.
            http://www.mystatesman.com/news/local/richard-overton-turn-111-with-cigars-whiskey-and-new-street-name/QAbsiAH8gfmfGtHUUW7XQP/

            • BrothasKeeper

              That’s outstanding. I would just love to sit and listen to him talk one day.

              • miss t-lee

                Heck yeah!! So much history.
                He reminds me so much of late PawPaw. Even their build is similar.

                • BrothasKeeper

                  Mine, too!!! Right down to the pick up truck, cap, and eyeglasses!

                  • miss t-lee

                    *daps*
                    Yes! All of it.

            • Regina

              Thanks for the link. That story made my Monday and I needed a lift!

              • miss t-lee

                Definitely! :)

              • Mariacholt


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            • Mary Burrell

              Read that yesterday it was lovely

    • Hadassah

      Word!

    • Michael

      Whenever someone calls me Kind My heartstrings are pulled ever so slightly. Something about that compliment gets me

      • miss t-lee

        I think that’s one of the greatest compliments anyone can pay you.

  • Injustice hardens me…not desensitizes tho.
    11. My daughter and I were crazy affectionate when she was little. At her baby shower, she hugged me for making the decorations…a little OG tear came down.
    12. Listening to Mariahs recording of O Holy Night.

    • Val

      There are a coupe of Phyllis Hyman songs that make me tear up.

      • miss t-lee

        Definitely. Her and Amy. You can just hear the sadness in their voices.

        • Yessss…

          I honestly can’t get through an Amy session without busting tears. Music makes me very emotional.

        • Quirlygirly

          Yes, some singers you can hear the pain in their voices and will bring you to tears

        • Michelle

          Don’t look at the “Amy” documentary unless you want to use up an entire box of tissues.

          • miss t-lee

            I definitely have been putting off watching it.

      • I could see it.
        Phyllis could bring the waterworks

      • Looking4Treble

        “Living All Alone” and “Oh, Friend” will do it.

        • Val

          Especially Living All Alone.

          • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

            Classic Record.

        • Quirlygirly

          Yes, Living All Alone gives me all types of emotions and I end up crying

      • Mary Burrell

        Living All Alone is rough.

    • miss t-lee

      Oh man. When my Pops gets all emotional…thug down!

      • That’s what messed me up when my mama passed on. I saw my daddy cry for the first time as a 34 year old man. I was like how?

        • miss t-lee

          Man. I think the first time I saw my Pops cry is when he sat us down to tell us my Mom passed away. Seeing your Pops cry will break you down.

          • Yep.

          • Hadassah

            Woi. That’s deep.

            • miss t-lee

              Yup.

          • Kas

            I have seen my dad cry once in my entire lifetime.

            • BrothasKeeper

              Same.

            • Cheech

              I’m trying to remember even once. It’s not coming to me.

            • miss t-lee

              Wow. I can believe this.
              We’ve been through a whole bunch, so my number is a bit higher.

            • That was the only day I saw it happen.

              • Kas

                Mine was watching him sob as he said we all hated him after I almost came to blows with him in the front yard. It was very eye opening.

                • Cheech

                  Closest was when I left for college, but I don’t remember a tear.

                  When he was on his deathbed and I was inadequately trying to thank him–I don’t remember a tear. (I, on the other hand, am crying as I type. I cry like Boehner.)

                  • Kas

                    This comment section can sneak up on you.

                    • Cheech

                      I think I had some of this jalapeno on my finger when I wiped the corner of my eye.

                      Also, it’s a high pollen day.

          • Zil Nabu

            The thought of my daddy crying breaks every piece of my heart.

            • miss t-lee

              It will definitely do that to you.

    • siante

      awww, bout to have me crying

    • NonyaB?

      I can see you scaring your coworkers with your “business” face, when you’re a big softy inside.

  • MsCee

    I guess the opposite happened for me. Before I was a mother, my emotions definitely ruled me and I cried over E V E R Y T H I N G. I guess somewhere between a bad relationship, being forced into single motherhood, creating budgets, then recreating budgets etc…I just learned to say f*ck it and roll with all the punches life throws.

    • AzucarNegra

      I used to be told all the time ” You will have no eye water when you need it”

      • MsCee

        Yeah, I think I ran out. Funny but not funny story: About a month ago I was REALLY hurt my some things that happened. I sat on my bed going “huuuuuuuhhhhhhh, huhhhhh huhhhhh” but not one single ACTUAL tear ever came out. LMFAOOOOOO

        • AzucarNegra

          I haven’t quite. But I am thugging up.

        • Sweet Potato Kai ?

          This is hilarious! I’m lol

        • I_AmU

          Gurl you need to engage in some self-care? and reconnect. Believe me I know it’s not easy to make time. Rest assured those emotions will manifest themselves in any form.

          • MsCee

            I’ve been trying to really tune in to myself once I put my child to bed. It’s been pretty helpful.

    • miss t-lee

      I was like this for like the first 25-30 years and now I can’t go back.

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