NOTE: We released a new episode of the podcast today! Make sure you check out our interview with Helena Andrews of Bitch Is The New Black!
- he’s only eight blocks away. i should probably go say hi before he makes it to his car
there are few feelings better than the tingly zestfulness and effervescence and sh*t felt when liking someone “new.”
but, whether its a mutual flirtation, a person you’re actually dating, or just a simple crush, it’s easy to get a bit too caught up sometimes, and there are more than a few ways to quickly go from “awww, that was so freakin’ cute,” to “damn, that was so f*cking creepy.”
people with stalker tendencies have trouble making these distinctions, and here’s five signs that you might be one of them
1. you leave comments on old facebook pictures and status messages
lets just say that there’s weird, there’s super weird, there’s uber weird, and then there’s checking your facebook page and seeing that someone is leaving “those glasses really look nice on you” messages on pictures that were posted three years ago weird.
2. not only do you randomly remember sh*t that noone in their right mind would ever think to remember…you think there’s nothing wrong with letting people know about it
*conversation between a woman and the guy/subtle stalker she occasionally sees at the train station on the way to work*
subtle stalker: “hey”
woman: “hey”
subtle stalker: “i’ve been meaning to ask you something. what was the name of that song?”
puzzled woman: “huh? what song?”
subtle stalker: “oh. back in june i was sitting behind you on the train, and i couldn’t help but overhear that catchy tune you were listening to in your ipod. if i had to guess, it was either a coldplay or raekwon track”
with that in mind…
3. you definitely have stalker tendencies if you always find yourself saying things like “i couldn’t help but overhear“, “i was just in the neighborhood”, and “word? i was just headed there, now“
4. you find the most ridiculous segues possible to bring up names
*conversation between a woman/subtle stalker and one of her girlfriends*
girlfriend: “wait, did i tell you about what happened at work this week? don’t you know that that ditsy emily chick from accounting accidentally cc-ed those pg-13 pics from the vegas conference afterparty to the entire department, and now human resources….wait. are you even listening to me?”
stalker: “oh, my bad, i’m sorry. it’s just that you said pg-13, and that made me think about byron because ‘the dark knight’ was rated pg-13, and batman makes me think about byron”
5. you’re an indirect googler
look, everybody gets a “i just met this person and i’m going to run their name through google real quick to see what pops up” mulligan. but, if you find someones facebook, myspace, or linkedin profile and you start googling the people they’re connected to just to see if you can possibly find even more info on your crush, then maybe it’s time to put down the catfood and jump in the shower.
anyway, people of vsb.com, did i miss anything? can you think of any more signs that a person has stalker tendencies?
also, has anyone ever been the stalkee (or the one who got a bit too prematurely caught up) and has lived to tell their tale?
don’t be scurred and sh*t. we’re all family here.
—the champ
LOL…I almost appreciate my lack of an emotional connection to the people I date right now…those are classic
@Siobhan,
what, you used to have stalker tendencies as well?
First?! It’s the site lurking that makes you creepy. Looking at blogs and facebook pages and pictures but not commenting or me tioning it to them.
@Manny, Dammit, not first.
@Manny, Ha! Sorry she beat you but was held in moderation. not sure why, tho. Both of yall are quick!
@Liz, thanks Liz I appreciate it.
@Liz,
Sorry she beat you but was held in moderation. not sure why, tho. Both of yall are quick!
this sounds like an extremely nerdy double entendre
@Manny, that’s not so creepy to me unless you do it as a perverse way of “keeping up with their life” so that you can feel connected.
i’m guessing we can call that the “ex-bf/gf that really can’t let go and you just so happen to have a public site that updates frequently syndrome” or etrclgayjshthapstufs for short
I don’t know about this list champ. Some of it is required procedure for someone you are seeing…LOL. The trick is to not let on that you partake of any of these activities.
@Liz,
The trick is to not let on that you partake of any of these activities.
so basically….be a stalker, lol?
@Liz, yeah, you’re nuts.
and all of these are very close to that fine line between i like her and she’s batsh*t crazy keep her away from me at all costs.
especially the, “oh yeah, i was heading in your direction anyway.”
me: dont you live 45 minutes away from me and there’s nothing over here but residences so really no reason to be coming over here?
her: naw, there’s this REALLY dope house i saw on Trulia.com that i was considering buying even though its out of my price range and i really wanted to see what it looks like at night and tonight is kind of rainy and i want to see if the roof works…from the outside. and you just so happen to be on the way.
if they’ve memorized your schedule (without you telling them) and calll on all your standard break and lunch periods.
Hey, how you doin? I know you normally go to work during ths time..I mean you’ve called me on your lunch lik twice. so I figured this is when you go…
Stalker
If you friend request everyone that comments on their page on FACEBOOK?
stalker
If you leave comments on their page about how wonderful your budding new romance is?
crazy
and a stalker..
@shay-d-lady,
If you friend request everyone that comments on their page on FACEBOOK?
stalker
even worse is if you request their friends before you even request them
@shay-d-lady, the schedule thing is kind of nuts. hell, i STILL don’t know some of my friends schedules and they’ve been doing the same sh*t for 5 years.
hell, i dont even know when my girl takes lunch.
@shay-d-lady,
i’ve actually had people get mad @ me cause i wouldn’t learn their schedule… but they sure as hell knew mine!
Funny! With everything about a person being searchable on the net, one can potentially get a little carried away. I have never stalked nor have I been stalked, that I know of. I have googled and checked profile pages, but I really do think that is pretty standard nowadays.
@QueenT,
but I really do think that is pretty standard nowadays.
***filed under “things stalkers say”***
@The Champ, took the words right out of my phalanges.
@Panama Jackson, Ya’ll trippin! LOL
@The Champ,
funny. LOL!
I was a bit of a stalker at one time. It was bad.
*sigh*
I did so much stalking within 2-3 months that I had completely tired myself out of the whole ritual. *smh* I was (& still am) embarrassed, disgusted and demanded that I stop being crazy once and for all.
He doesn’t know though. We’re still friends and now that I’m reformed {aahhhh!}, I’m glad I didn’t go too far. Thanx to Kanye West and that “Robocop” joint (cause he was singing about me) I was enlightened of my unpretty ways.
@Made In Hawaii, glad you got over it!!!!
@Made In Hawaii,
Robocop is the only good song on 808s and Heartbreak.
@Legendary Dash,
blasphemy!!!
@The Champ,
Even if I know you’re being sarcastic, I will co-sign and say (earnestly) it is indeed blasphemy!
@Legendary Dash, the album version of Robocop is so terribly overproduced and ridiculous to me. before the album dropped, there was a more sparse version that came out that WOULD have been the best song on the album (with the possible exception of “welcome to heartbreak”).
and that album blows.
@Panama Jackson,
I didn’t say the album was good. RoboCop is the only song that survived deletion. It is amusing in a Gucci-Manian way.
Ahhh.. I had a stalker.. but I didn’t find out he was a stalker until after we broke up. And I kept getting texts like “Oh, I see your car at Jessica’s house.. I’m sitting here crying.. I miss you” and *very* strange letters about him sitting outside of my apartment. So, I did what any civilized person would do and changed my phone number but this fool went to my momma’s house and asked her for the new one. I wish I coulda known he was a stalker before hand… thank God for restraining orders…
@SuperDee,
welcome and sh*t (i think)
Thanks
)
(even though I may have posted before once or twice..lol)
@SuperDee, somebody mighta had to get shot behind that mess. folks sitting out in front of folks homes…
i’m too busy to be a stalker.
oh concerning #2… I once had a guy bring me cereal and milk..(not at my request).
cause he noticed the last time he was over my milk was going to expire on that date…
AND I dont eat cereal but apparently he wanted to leave a box of his favorites over for me to enjoy.. or because maybe he thought he might be there to eat them? I dont know
but either way
WTF?
@shay-d-lady,
awwwwwwwwwww. my first reaction was to think this was crazy. but now that i’m typing, i’m all torn and sh*t. he’s just sweet, that’s all. lol
@charli skipper, \
I agree that was actually pretty nice. I wish a chick would remember to refresh my soy milk, and drop me off a box of her favorite cereal. That was really observant.
@charli skipper, ummm..yeah we had only been out twice and! he had only been to my house to pick me up? so apparently he was rumbling through my fridge while I was doing my last minute touch ups.
STALKER
@charli skipper,
my first reaction was to think this was crazy. but now that i’m typing, i’m all torn and sh*t. he’s just sweet, that’s all. lol
yeah, there’s a fine line between cute and crazy, and usually that line is determined by how attractive the person is
@The Champ,
“yeah, there’s a fine line between cute and crazy, and usually that line is determined by how attractive the person is”
gospel truth…
@shay-d-lady, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiet, he saved you 4 bucks. actually 8…them damn GM boxes of cereal are not cheap. my lucky charms straight run my pockets.
he just observant. you probably told him to get his own water out the fridge and he saw the date.
@Panama Jackson, he didnt save me shyt. I dont eat cereal like that. LOL
And that shyt was creepy. Im sorry I dont know when the milk i have in the fridge NOW expires.
also apparently cereal was like his favorite shyt.. so maybe it was the presumptiousness of the situation. Like he wanted to make sure he had shyt there, ya know? after 2 outings… 1 actual date, No kisses, hugs or anything exchanged….
@shay_d_lady,
It could have been an I’m gonna hit this, lemme make sure that there is soy milk and Fruity Pebbles for me to eat in the morning. That ain’t stalking, that’s a man’s confidence in his macking abilitay.
funny. i google everyone, so while i do think i have stalker tendencies, i’m an equal opportunity stalker. like, don’t assume i’m sprung on you because i ran your name through a google search, dude. i once found out that a potential reference that i was going to use on my resume like we were clique tight had been publicly shamed and arrested for doing cocaine. so now i feel like its justifiable.
i was lightweight stalked in high school, some guys would call my parents’ house at random times and ask for me or leave messages on the voicemail and then hang up. um….that was kind of cool, until my dad did a reverse search on their phone number and tried to track them down. then it was kind of scary and devastational.
oh! also, when i met one of good friends during my first year of law school, she said, “oh. i know you! my boyfriend’s friend likes you. he talks about you all the time” and she proceeded to tell me random stuff about myself that happened years ago and described a picture that her boyfriend’s friend had at his house. i consider that good stalking though, because apparently the guy’s a v*rgin and a christian, so he must not be too crazy…..
so, yeah, you’re a stalker if you print out pictures of people on facebook, frame those h*es and have ‘em sitting around your house. but it’s kind of sweet, though.
facebook really is a stalker-in-training’s paradise. there’s this guy that i have a flirtatious relationship with. we go out to dinner from time to time and he acts like he’s single. i might be on the road to stalkerdom because i check his facebook wall periodically. one day i saw what i thought was like a love note/”thank you for a nice time” note that said “i had a great time with you primito.” after i got a little said and pulled out my english-spanish dictionary i realized that i need to stop my stalkerishness before it starts. “primito” means cousin, yall. i was trippin over a note between cousins that i shouldn’t have been readin like that anyway.
@charli skipper,
oh! also, when i met one of good friends during my first year of law school, she said, “oh. i know you! my boyfriend’s friend likes you. he talks about you all the time” and she proceeded to tell me random stuff about myself that happened years ago and described a picture that her boyfriend’s friend had at his house. i consider that good stalking though, because apparently the guy’s a v*rgin and a christian, so he must not be too crazy…..
this sounds like the premise for like and eighth of the episodes of law and order svu
@charli skipper,
“i consider that good stalking though, because apparently the guy’s a v*rgin and a christian, so he must not be too crazy…..”
Surely you meant this ironically or in jest, right?
@charli skipper, you know, i got so much out of reading this comment. literally.
one thing i think i think…i want you to be defense attorny when i murder somebody b/c you seem to be able to find the silver lining in potential felonies.
@charli skipper,
“apparently the guy’s a v*rgin and a christian, so he must not be too crazy…..”
I’m confused now.
I kid.
@charli skipper,
“……and described a picture that her boyfriend’s friend had at his house…..”
this reminded me of an ex who took a picture i had sent to me grandmother, made a copy of it, framed it and had it up in his living room… he didn’t think there was anything wrong with that! o_O
i was on facebook last night (because what else is there to do at 3am?) and almost commented on an ex’s picture from 2007. something in my spirit told me not to. for future reference, i’m glad to know that that wouldv’e been more than uber-weird. i will say, however, that if facebook ever chooses to reveal who looks at whose profiles, how often, and at what times of the day, i will be devastated. Devastated.
@charli skipper,
wouldn’t we all be? it’s like a social encyclopedia
@charli skipper,
Hahaha! I had to come out of lurksville to comment on this! I too would be devastated if facebook started revealing whose page I was looking at and how often…like truly sad. I talk to the current object of my affection every day, so I’m not a stalker. But I do like to go look at his page every few days to remind myself how luscious he is. Is this bad?? :-/
BTW, love this blog. I read it every day, just too lazy to comment. Y’all crack me up!
@Ash,
welcome and sh*t
@The Champ,
Thanks! I’ll try not to be a stranger.
@charli skipper,
“i will say, however, that if facebook ever chooses to reveal who looks at whose profiles, how often, and at what times of the day, i will be devastated. Devastated.”
WORD UP.
@charli skipper,
i will say, however, that if facebook ever chooses to reveal who looks at whose profiles, how often, and at what times of the day, i will be devastated
seriously, if zuckerberg ever created an application where people could pay 10 bucks a month for the right to see who’s viewing their page, he’d be the words first trillionaire
@The Champ,
Mofos would stop using the site. I know I would. I have already had facebook issues with a page stalker. Knowing the identity of other stalkers would just make feel less safe than I already do.
@The Champ, I don’t know if its true, but one of my friends said that there may be an app coming out that can tell who has been viewing your page.
@Deeds, Yea there is a 3rd party application but in order for it to allegedly work you have to send invited to all of your friends and 75% have to sign up for it. I doubt it actually works.
@The Champ, seriously, if zuckerberg ever created an application where people could pay 10 bucks a month for the right to see who’s viewing their page, he’d be the words first trillionaire
word.life.
@charli skipper, i think 98 percent of folks on Facebook would quit facebook. it’s a stalker paradise.
@Panama Jackson, lol- has a ring to it- “facebook- a stalker’s paradise”
@charli skipper, An ex of mine defriended me a year and a half ago and I couldn’t have been more pleased. Not because I had beef with her or anything like that. Simply because then I wouldn’t be faced with the internal conflict over doing what you just mentioned.
Facebook made getting over people way WAY harder. It must have been alot easier before the internet, when you could just lose touch with someone for real.
@Scipio Africanus,
I hear u on fb making break-ups harder. What sucks is if the break up wasn’t a bad one, now u can’t even defriend yr ex without feeling bad. Hey, it’s bad enough u dumped them right?!
@charli skipper,
“i will say, however, that if facebook ever chooses to reveal who looks at whose profiles, how often, and at what times of the day, i will be devastated. Devastated.”
*dap* Ain’t that the truth.
I always get a little anxious when I see those fake FB applications/groups that claim “Finally! This is the TRUE way to find out if people have been looking at your profile!”, but then realize FB has nada to do with it so I’m always skeptical if it works.
@charli skipper, if facebook ever chooses to reveal who looks at whose profiles, how often, and at what times of the day, i will be devastated. Devastated.
OMG! I would like literally DIE!!!!!!!!!!!
@BKSweetheart, Actually when you take a quiz or join a group there is a background program that shows your profile page. To WHO????? No one knos
@charli skipper,
*co-sign* with u on the facebook comment. I am a big stalker- no shame- well until fb decides to expose everyone for cyber stalking that is- then i will be ashamed. I will be very ashamed.
You know you are a subtle stalker if you know extremely random facts about them and you have yet to officially meet.
@Nick,
a smart stalker just plays it off by saying “oh. i know you didnt tell me that your favorite book was the bluest eye, but i saw we’re both members of the toni morrison fan page”
@Nick, this one is tough though, well, yes you’re a stalker, but if you never mention these things then you’re harmless.
now if you go mentioning sh*t in regular convo b/c you think its okay, well thats when i’d get to calling the popos.
btw, welcome to the lives of Black bloggers. LOL. i’ve had folks i’ve met before tell me stuff about me from blog posts that i forgot about that they went to go RESEARCH on their own.
I remember being freaked out by a random dude one time. I was on the metro and this guy came up to talk to me. He seemed like a regular dude until he asked about my tan pants. I was like what are talking about. Then he proceeded to tell me about how he was sitting on the bus one time and he saw me walking outside walking about a couple of months ago. He then said he blew me a kiss and I turned my head away. That freaked me out.
However, is checking someone facebook page really considered stalking. I remember when I first broke up with my boyfriend I checked his fb page all the time. Then wondered who that chick was that he was in a relationship with.
@Deeds,
tan pants? a couple of months ago? blew you a kiss? um….you might want to consider a different mode of transportation. cuz any one of those creepy things would have been fine separately…….ok, no, actually they wouldn’t. yeah…you might want to start taking a taxicab.
and i don’t think facebook can be considered real stalking either*. if it is, then there are several people who need to take out restraining orders against me.
*unless it’s a stranger using the poke feature. only the real life stalkers be pokin.
@Deeds, However, is checking someone facebook page really considered stalking. I remember when I first broke up with my boyfriend I checked his fb page all the time. Then wondered who that chick was that he was in a relationship with.
um, yes. you’re checking to see whats going on with somebody that you’re not currently in cahoots with. i think it qualifies. in fact, it’s probably the most common form of stalking.
@Deeds, I had this one Trini guy from around my way randomly approach me one day when I was walking to the train… It was like something from a movie.. I thought I heard footsteps behind me and I turned around and there was NO ONE there… so I turned back around and he was right next to me on the other side like walking with me… And he proceeds to tell me how I seem like such a nice girl and he’s seen me going and coming from work and how he appreciates that I take care of my body as hes seen me leaving out to go running.. And then started telling me how i give off positive vibes and a certain light and he wants to share his light with my light or some kinda crap like that…. WHOA
@BKSweetheart,
“It was like something from a movie.. I thought I heard footsteps behind me and I turned around and there was NO ONE there… so I turned back around and he was right next to me on the other side like walking with me…”
This entire story is CREEPYyet Hilarious!
@Deeds,
checking someone’s fb page constantly is def stalking. No sweat tho, i do it all the time. I just hope fb sends out a notification to everyone asking permission before hand b4 we all end up exposed and looking like fools.
I had a stalker a few years back. I was working at a restaurant, and I told him which restaurant it was. He said he would check it out sometime, but I didn’t think that he would just randomly show up at my job without checking if I was there first. That was the beginning.
One night, at the end of our date, we were sitting in his car and he asked to look at my phone (I had a Sidekick #dontjudgeme I was fresh out of college). I didn’t know why, since we had the same phone, but it seemed like an innocent enough request. I had nothing to hide so I let him see it. In the 30 seconds (if that) that he had my phone, he opened and read all my emails and text messages and started asking me about the people (e.g.: he would ask me “oh you know my cousin Brian” as he read the text messages I got from my friend Brian). I was thrown off by the questions, and I didn’t even realize what he had done and why he was asking me about specific names (why the hell would I know his cousin Brian?) until I got inside my house, looked at my phone and realized all my texts were open. I recognized that immediately because I always closed my texts.
The straw that broke the camels back was an incident that occurred over Banana Republic Friend’s and Family coupons. I had just started working for Banana a few months back, and he knew this. He kept begging me to let him know when we were having our friends/family. So, my naive behind not being familiar with it (I was a broke college student who didn’t shop #dontjudgeme) I showed him the ONE F/F coupon I had, figuring he just wanted to be notified. You can imagine my shock the next day when he calls me and barks on me for not giving him my only F/F coupon. When I hung up on him, he kept calling back. He called me at random times for months. And would sometimes catch me (calling from other people’s numbers) and say “so, you’re going to hang up on me now.” I couldn’t be rude, so I told him I’d call him back and just never called back.
Just when I thought I’d never see him again, guess who my boss introduces as a new hire at Banana? That dude. I complained to my manager at first, but he promised to be cool. And, to his credit, no incident has occurred except that he keeps asking me to “talk” one on one. I’m not interested. I guess he really wanted that Friends and Family coupon. 0_o
@MoreAndAgain,
I’m sorry, but my patience was lost at “he opened and read all my emails and text messages”. I regard someone going through my phone (call history, texts, emails, calendar, etc.) like I imagine a woman would regard a guy going through her purse…you just don’t do it unless specifically asked. That alone would have been grounds enough to never hear from me again.
@Caballeroso,
I agree. My texts/emails and all that stuff is pretty personal. I do not want people I love even looking at them, let alone random strangers.
@Caballeroso, co-sign… I have nightmares about mofos going thru my phone… I’m getting anxious now just discussing it.
@Caballeroso,
The day that he barked on me was actually the day after he went through my phone. In hindsight I probably should have labelled him as “do not answer” after he went through my phone, but hindsight is 20/20.
I’m not leaving my job though, I have a really good schedule that comes from being somewhere for a few years. If I leave I’ll be at the mercy of the schedule gods.lol. I don’t think he’ll try anything crazy for the simple fact that all of our superiors know the story (not to mention it turnes out that he had also harassed another one of my BR coworkers, before he started working at my job. We were both like “you know this crazy fool?”) So, yeah, he’d be pretty stupid to try something.
@MoreAndAgain,
“Just when I thought I’d never see him again, guess who my boss introduces as a new hire at Banana? That dude.”
this is actually kind of…scary. if i were you, i’d go work at the gap or h&m or something
@The Champ,
“this is actually kind of…scary. if i were you, i’d go work at the gap or h&m or something”
That dude is so scary, I would’t even do Gap since it’s an affiliate of Banana Republic, lol, because that mofo would probably transfer to one of the Gap branches or somethin’ psycho like that…I’d avoid all those Gap companies, Old Navy, Piperlime. I’d work at the complete opposite of any of those stores like KMart or somethin’.
@The Champ,
Yeah, he’s really creepy, but not to the point that I want to change my life. My schedule is set up in such a way that I only work 4 hrs a week, and never close (because I’m really only working at BR for the 50% discount at this point. . . Sistah got a day job w/ benefits). Even if I transfer to another Gap Inc. store, my chances of keeping this schedule are shot. So, until I feel like he actually poses a threat to my safety, I’m not leaving. And, even then, I’d try to get him transfered before I transfered.
LLS…one thing I kind of hate about the internet,I actaully had a mofo that I hadn’t seen or talked to and warned to stay far the phcuk away from me, cause of super foul sh*t he did several years ago google me, only my work info pops up(I checked previously), and he called my work phone several times last year @ crazy odd ball hours @ night etc on the weekends and leave messages like he wasn’t the trife mofo he is SMH ……….
@OrangeStar616,
what kind of messages would he leave?
@The Champ, he called on my Birthday o_O with birthday wishes, he called saying whats up, he called on another holiday etc the thing is he never left a name, but I know dudes voice as I considered him a friend for ten years before he jumped off a cliff….we ended on very bad terms, dude basically date raped me, put me in the hospital, then tried to flip it, so five years later he wants to google me, then call and leave message like we cool or just lost touch…..he the worst kind of mofo, he lucky I know the LORD.
@OrangeStar616, see, its shit like this here that makes me wanna be a vigilante. makes me wanna go ring a doorbell with some duct tape, a duffel bag, and a grater.
Kudos to you for knowing the Lord. Apparently I’m not as close to Him as I thought.
@HabitualLineCrossa, LOL
@OrangeStar616,
did he literally jump off of a cliff too?
@The Champ,
because if not, I think somebody should push him off one.
What an a-hole!
@The Champ, figure of speech, @ the time immediately after I got out of the hospital I wanted him dead, seriously, and that scared me… but then I was reminded that vengence is the LORD’s and nothing I could do, would compare to what he already had/has coming…
I tell you what tho that totally changed my movements with dudes (friends, associates, new mofos) from that point on.
I had a kat who couldn’t take no for an answer and thought he was gonna stalk me back in ’01. We stayed at the same complex and he used to just show up at my door, my mailbox, the convenience store around the corner.
I decided to turn the tables and show up at his door with my bat.
Problem solved.
@miss t-lee,
no throat punches necessary, huh?
@The Champ,
Sometimes I like to switch up my techniques.
@miss t-lee,
I like to think you throat punched him with the bat. But then again, I’m feeling violet today because we’re havign a snowstorm here in Chicago and our firm thought it would be cute to let us wear jeans instead of closing the dayum office today. Hell, we gotta have at least 50ft of snow before we close…lol. And other offices of our firm can get like 4 in and they close before the first inch sticks. SMH…
@Cheekie, I’m so glad you’re not bitter.
@Cheekie, Here in VA they shut down when we have a dusting. o_0
@Yeah…SO?! ,
I’m as bitter as a bag of sugar.
@Michele,
lol
@ Cheekie,
“I like to think you throat punched him with the bat”
LMAO!!!
@The Champ, Denzel executed the perfect thoak punch in “He Got Game”. Just had to mention that.
@Scipio Africanus,
he got game is easily one of the most disappointing good movies in movie history
@miss t-lee, OMG! This is CLASSIC! I was howling at this. Kinda reminds me of the time my friend was getting followed…she started following him!
I had a stalker. *looks around well typing* This ninja is so clever, he probably know I subscribe to this blog. Anywho.
I worked w/ him in 2002-2004. Cool dude and we ended up being good work friends. I kind of had a clue he liked me, but he never stepped outside the friend zone. Excellent.
My brother was locked up and dude started saying how he was sending my bro $ and magazines (he was interning for a hip hop mag). Come to find out he was lying. That ticked me off. So when I left the job, I cut ties with him.
Well damnit if this fool didn’t get my # from one of the managers I asked to give me a recommendation. He’d call leaving long messages. Then he found me on MySpace and would send long messages apologizing (he didn’t even know why) saying he missed me, yada yada ya. Next up…Facebook. But I blocked him on there…then he had his friends sending me messages.
I guess he got my email of Facebook and started emailing me. I told him to leave me alone. Then he brought God and forgiveness into it…smh. As if that wasn’t enough, somehow (and I’m still baffled) this ninja found my blog *earsandlops.blogspot.com insert shameless plug here* and as a result another email addy. He began offering me help and how he knows all these important people. Mind you, I told dude to leave me alone.
I hope I never see him in person. I have no clue what this fool would do. He’s a big dude. May get me in a bear hug and drag me off to the nearest, darkest basement.
@La Bakir,
wait…so he lied about sending your brother money?
i guess my next question is…how would it have been ok if he actually did send your brother money? the truth would be a bit weirder than the lie
@The Champ,
Yes he lied. It would’ve been ok if he was telling the truth about helping out his boy (b/c he was cool w/ my brother) instead of lying to impress me.
@La Bakir, that was definitely the missing link there. i was like, hmm…you got this dude sending your brother money???
@Panama Jackson, LOL…oh no. My mack game ain’t that tight :p
Nah, dude is all about appearances. So he wanted to “look good” to me by any means necessary. B/c of his internship @ the hip hop mag…he has some connects in the industry. Has tried to lure me in w/ backstage passes and all that.
Pity.
I think the line between stalking (regarding internet research, anyway) has gotten a bit blurred. I don’t regard myself as a stalker, but I do a fair amount of due diligence at the onset of a new acquaintance. In this age of readily accessible information with criminals and liars aplenty, it’s only prudent that you do certain research on someone you are considering allowing into your life.
Property ownership is a matter of public record, and here in Harris County Texas, it’s all online. If she brags about her house being valued at $750,000, and the appraisal district taxes her on $80,000, somebody’s either a little liar or is extremely poor at math.
Other tools like Google and Facebook can give you insight to her character or accomplishments. ZabaSearch, assuming her name is not a common one, can provide age, and address/telephone number history…if that’s required for some reason.
The online county records lets me know if she has been issued a marriage license, and to whom. This is vital information if she represents herself to be single. I don’t need any surprises from some dude showing up armed claiming to be her husband.
A buddy of mine has an account for getting criminal history on folks. That came in handy when a quick search yielded a DWI and loss of her kids to her ex-husband in a custody battle…yet she told me she had suggested the kids live with him by her own choice. Oh, forgot to mention the 3 ex-husbands other than the one she mentioned that were discovered. Liars are among us!!!
There’s nothing wrong with gaining insight and information about someone you are inviting into your life. It’s only stalking when you become obsessed with doing so regarding someone in particular. That’s my take anyway.
@Caballeroso,
It’s only stalking when you become obsessed with doing so regarding someone in particular.
so, what crosses the obsession line to you? asking because looking up someones property info sounds a bit extra to me
@The Champ, I’ll concede that that could be construed as going a bit above and beyond, but you never know what information will come in handy until it comes in handy. I like to know as much as I can about whatever I’m dealing with…personally or professionally. I don’t like surprises because they are seldomly good surprises.
@Caballeroso, AMEN brotha. Ain’t nothing ever wrong with a lil intel on someone new
or old for that matterin your circle.If they offer up “facts”, then you need to go ahead and check em. its just a form of character orientation. What easier way is there to decide on what level you will fux with someone, if at all, than matters that are public record?
@The Champ, So I guess I stalked my ex for a while before we got together. Let me see…
Taking the long way home to walk pass her house to see if the light was on in her room but that came later.
Before we even met I had to rearrange my schedule to classes to make sure I ran into her on campus—Dining Halls, Lounges, and any gatherings. I think I even registered for an advanced quantitative analysis class so I could see her. That was bad. Stalk sounds so bad though, I like “obsessively shadowing” better.
@xave, obsessively shadowing….I like it
@xave,
yeah, like i mentioned before, theres a fine line between courting and stalking.
@The Champ, hmm… I take it hiring a PI would be going too far for you too then huh?
@Caballeroso,
The online county records lets me know if she has been issued a marriage license, and to whom. This is vital information if she represents herself to be single. I don’t need any surprises from some dude showing up armed claiming to be her husband.
Bingo! It also helps when men claim not to have kids, yet county records show they have been in and out of court for child support, domestic violence, or divorce.
Property record search is only employed when the “larger than life” ninjas claim they have so much property in various places. It’s funny because we can be talking, and I’m listening to them lie and won’t say a word.
@Caballeroso, I don’t regard myself as a stalker, but I do a fair amount of due diligence at the onset of a new acquaintance. In this age of readily accessible information with criminals and liars aplenty, it’s only prudent that you do certain research on someone you are considering allowing into your life.
This statement was just a masterful use of the English language. That’s all I wanted to say.
@BKSweetheart,
Thanx!
One time I was stalked in school by one of the dining hall workers…Sunday afternoonish, dining hall is about to close, I get my cereal, i have my music jamming and I’m suffering from a hangover..I sit down by myself, eat my cereal, listen to music and leave…
I get a message by one of these dining hall folks who happened to be my friend already on Facebook that says “Why were you sitting alone, listening to music, and eating Fruit Loops?” I was like “How the fu*k did she know I was earing Fruit Loops?!! I was scared..she had a crush on me but I had to let her down easy..goodness…
But what about not even waiting for someone to explain a story to you because that person already peeped the facebook pictures and said “Oh so you had a great time with Sarah, Jane, and Kim? Nice! Wish I was at the lounge with yall” Goodness..
@Ricky,
“Why were you sitting alone, listening to music, and eating Fruit Loops?”
lol, if she would have known what song you were listening to it probably would have been time to call the cops
i just moved into a new building back in november, i have 2 supers – an old dude & a young dude, the old dude is stalking me.
i met the old dude while trying to get the lights turned on in my apt and in what i thought was small talk he asked me if i was living alone. my first apt so i proudly announce yes. the next time i see him i’m moving in furniture with my homeboy, he offers his assistance and he asks me what my sign is and when is my bday, once again i think it’s small talk so i tell him the truth with no hesitation. one evening he knocks on my door to tell me he was looking up at my window and saw my lights on so he wanted to drop off a package. dude comes back with my verizon yellow pages; tells me he’s been holding on to it and trying to deliver it for a few days. the day before my bday i get a bday card in the mail with no return address and a note that says “from someone who loves and cares about you.” i see the super a few days after and after a minute or two of conversation he confesses that he sent me the card and then tells me he has been working on something else to give me. a few days later he shows up at my apt at 10:50pm to give me a plastic bag of roses and a bottle of rosea (sp?). a few days after that he shows up at my apt again to give me a picture frame, in the frame is a paper with my name, the qualities associated with my zodiac sign, the jamaican coat of arms and couple of hearts. at that point i tell him to stop with the gifts and that i don’t appreciate them. my paranoia leads to several sleepless nights, blackout curtains, blinds, a metal chair behind my front door, and $498 worth of new locks. my next step is the management company & then nypd. i feel safe now and he hasn’t made a move for the past 3 weeks.
BTW: avid reader, love the blog, keep up the good work.
@I can’t think of a clever name,
Wow. This is terrible.
I’m thinking you should invest in a bat, mace/pepper spray and krav maga class. This kat is off the rocker, for real.
I would just probably move, but then again I realize you’re in NY so that could be easier said than done.
Stay safe.
@I can’t think of a clever name, welcome and sh*t.
and um…i’d have to move.
@miss t-lee, I definitely keep a pair of sneakers, flashlight and my mobile by my bed, which i moved closer to the fire escape in my bedroom.
@panama, these may not be the best excuses to stay but, the apt is a really good deal, space and price-wise; and i won’t dare run back to my parents house like a scared little girl – they already gave me the “mmm hmm, i don’t know who told you to move out anyway” lecture when i told them about the super.
I take lots of precautions now and so far so good *fingers crossed*
@I can’t think of a clever name,
welcome and sh*t, and, judging from your relationship with your super, we hope to see you again.
@The Champ,
Thank you and sh*t, but no no no, not under these circumstances lol
@I can’t think of a clever name, OMG… I couldn’t even finish reading without saying this- “Ladies never tell a ninja you live ALONE!… EVER!” -Proud or not- Make some isht up! Hell I had a mofo ask me yesterday if my brother that got out of jail for manslaughter still live with me and I been dating dude for TWO YEARS!… and you know what- I said yes!
@Yeah…SO?!,
Shut up, 2 years! I soooo learned my lesson with this experience. i’m the type of person that tells you everything, because i want people around me to feel as comfortable as possible (i’m probably overcompensating for something else). in any event, when the locksmith came to change the locks i started chatting with him and he asked me if i had a boyfriend. sure enough, i said “yes and he sleeps here all the time.” i HATE lying, but there are a ton of lessons in this experience and one of which is just because they ask doesn’t mean i have to tell.
@I can’t think of a clever name, “just because they ask doesn’t mean i have to tell.”
you’ve made me very proud…*sidenote* the 2 years thang was an exaggeration for affect- I call it my scared straight tactic… actually, I exaggerated all over that comment but as long as the message was received… eh *kanye shrug*
I don’t know if it’s where I live, or what, but I’ve had more stalkers than I can even remember. One of them showed up at my momma’s house (outta the blue, after I told him I wasn’t interested after reaching a breaking point), cooking her dinner and trying to get her to talk to me about him. He also told all his family and a bunch of other people that we were together. Another one would constantly show up at my PT job and just browse the movies for well over an hour, then leave without ever getting anything. He actually had the nerve once to come up and get snippy with me because he thought I had been flirting with a customer. Same dude would “accidently” call my phone several times a week and leave messages with him hanging around females in the background trying to make me jealous or something.
I’ve gotten notes on my car, ninjas remembering outfits that I wore months ago, incessant messaging on MySpace/FaceBook, one guy I briefly dated started applying at my job, etc. I’m telling ya, I’ve become afraid to talk to anybody anymore. I think there is something in the water here.
@SaneN85, One of them showed up at my momma’s house (outta the blue, after I told him I wasn’t interested after reaching a breaking point), cooking her dinner and trying to get her to talk to me about him.
how in the hell does one end up at your momma’as house AND end up cooking dinner? my mother wouldn’t just be like, “oh come on in AND you want to cook dinner???”
that just seems odd to me.
@Panama Jackson, His family lived next door to my sister, and my mom knew him and his family. He had disguised his purpose as coming over to play ball with my little brother (who was always looking for some sort of male role model). I don’t know exactly how he came to cooking dinner for her, but that’s he made his way into the house. My mom didn’t even know about his interest in me. The worst part is that I was 15 at the time, and this ninja was like 28 and that ninja still til this day has his family trying to convince me to give him a shot whenever I see them.
I personally do see a reason to stalk me….which is why i’ve been flabergasted at why I’ve had 3 stalkers in my life. All very weird to me and makes me extra cautious.
#1. Was this dude I met my freshman year at the pep squad meeting. We chit chatted and found out we liked the same cartoon Dragonball Z. After that, I promise y’all…. this fool was every single place/event I ever went to for the rest of the year. The crazy part was some of the events were for my scholaship group only….he was there…no he was not in the group. Some events were last minute decisions… he’d show up 3 secs after we got there. It was so bad, my friends was like, we going with you to everything just in case he gets extra happy and tries to do something to you. It was crazy.
#2 facebook stalked me. tried to be slick and leave random messages in my honesty box. but he told on himself once and i caught him. He tried to play it off but then sent a message saying “you got me, i guess i’ll start leaving you real messages now”. Uhm no, just stop. how bout that?
#3 i’m not sure is a stalker completely…just possibly extra nosy. I’m not sure yet, but until i find out i’m going to classify him as a stalker and keep my guard up.
@Ro,
I personally do see a reason to stalk me….which is why i’ve been flabergasted at why I’ve had 3 stalkers in my life. All very weird to me and makes me extra cautious.
you think you should have had more stalkers?
Speaking of musk (since it’s in the title so the following is 13% on-topic), I work with the International offices of our firm and the Australia office sent us this musk-flavored (yeah, you read that right) candy. Now, we’re looking at the candy…it’s all pink and ish…it looks like bubblegum flavor. And no one looked at the dayum wrapper to see what the flavor was. So, I taste it, and that ish tastes like I was spraying men’s cologne on myself (for some weird reason) and it accidentally got in my dayum mouth. EW. WTF is wrong with them. And apparently, musk flavor is what’s really hot in the Australian streets.
Anyhow.
The number 4 convo was all kinds of hiliarious.
@Cheekie,
You do know where they get “musk” from right?
Why would you want that in candy? Ewww.
@miss t-lee,
I just wiki-ed it because I didn’t know where musk came from. Double ewww!
@Cheekie,
I probably would’ve still tasted it anyway too. I mean, really, how many people can say they’ve tasted musk-flavored candy? lol
@I can’t think of a clever name,
“I probably would’ve still tasted it anyway too. I mean, really, how many people can say they’ve tasted musk-flavored candy? lol”
Yeah, I’m a nosy/curious summamab*tch. We usually put out candy/treats by our area to share with the other coworkers on the floor. And the treats go pretty quickly with these sugar monsters (I’m one too) Needless to say, that bag of musk candy remained there for a lonnnnng loooong time. We threw it away because it was probably stale by then.
@miss t-lee,
wait…where do they get musk from? balls?
@The Champ,
Yep….lol
I take it ya’ll don’t know too many hunters…lmao
@miss t-lee,
Ya know what, my mama’s ex was a hunter but I didn’t care for his personality too much so we didn’t into many convos about deer balls.
But yeah…he’s the only hunter I knew. lol
@Cheekie ,
“we didn’t into many convos about deer balls. ”
You know what? *snickering*
@miss t-lee,
I just wiki’d it as well. WTF…musk is Bambi balls?!
@Cheekie,
LMAO @ Bambi. Dayum Disney!
@I can’t think of a clever name
You’re right. Double ewwww.
Oh snap…according to this I’m a stalker LOL….I blame the internet and an occasional glut of free time for giving me the opportunity to find out a whole lot of information about someone I’m interested in. The tricky thing is not letting them know how much information I know….that’s how you get the restraining orders filed….ummm kay….maybe I should have posted this comment annonymously.
@klysha,
lol, its too late for that now
@The Champ, LOL….since my info and pic are out there with that comment I suppose it would be prudent to point out that I’m not a stalker for REAL….I just do the normal things that people who like someone do given the digital age that we live in….granted some of it might be the modern equivalent of randomly driving by their house and calling and hanging up pre-caller ID….okay I’m not helping….nevermind LOL
I don’t deny being a stalker. My friends know it as do the guys I date eventually learn. I don’t call it stalking. I call it obssively or persistently following or learning.
I have no qualms saying that I’ve done all of the above. But as a comment I will share one of my many stories.
Couple of years ago.. First date with this guy that I’ve been talking to for a few weeks. Great first date. 5 hours later we don’t want the night to end. So we go driving around. I live Upstate NY, if you’re familiar it’s trees and lots and lots of trees. The more money you have the harder it is to get to your house. Sooo.. we manage to get in his neck of the woods. Never been there before. We park outside his house and we make out a little. Then we leave.. Cool.
TWO DAYS LATER
I show up at his house, uninvited and unannouced. Met his mom. Really big blow up. Needless to say we didn’t have a second date. It was bad. A few years later we spoke again, and can laugh about it now… but then.. no one likes to be stalked.
@JumpOnIt,
lmao…that is hilarious and scary, whyyyyy would u go back to the house though?!
@JumpOnIt,
*sigh*. U went to his house?! Wow u are brave. My stalking is more low key. Find out where he’s going to be that weekend, so i can show up and act all noncholant on some ‘hey, u like this joint too’ type steez. Stalk his fb page, pics. But that’s about it.
@mateosmuse,
I told you, it’s not called stalking, it’s called persistently pursuing,
an amendment to the first point. the stalker friend requests your friends on facebook or follows your friends on twitter. only problem is they don’t know these people. they just want to work their way into your circle.
Ya know… Just to add a bit.
I think we all have stalking tendacies… but if you meet the right person, they might find it cute as opposed to stalkerish.
Cuz I knew where my ex worked, and I used to just show up at his job. “Just to say hi” (not even close to being in the neighborhood) and he would love it. I’d be dressed all cute accidentally on purpose and smell great. And he would just love to hug and kiss me.
Now another guy may not be so flattered.. ya dig?
@JumpOnIt, as a fellow reformed stalker, I can agree with this! (says the not so reformed stalker) Nah but in all seriousness, I will admit to present day e-stalking but I don’t really consider it stalking unless you act on it. I mean the internet is abound with information readily available to anyone, why not utilize it?
LOL @ all these scenarios. one of my bffs does this kinna stuff. she gets pissed when i tell her to fall back b/c she’s freakin nikkas out. she always drives routes that she knows her dudes go to see if she can pass them in traffic, then acts like she doesnt see them when they honk or wave. WHOMP! WHOMP! but her fav thing is to drive by their home or in their neighborhood to see if they’re home. for what? idk, cuz she doesnt stop to say hi, so why circle the area? again, WHOMP! LOL
Well done Champ once again.. Since were all family here and sh*t I can admit to having some stalkerish tendencies in the past… How can you leave out:
1. The random drive bys of their crib (to see if their car is outside or if the new chicks car is there) another version of this is the high speed fly by
2. Trying random combinations of their sons/moms/grandmas name and their address and dog when they were 5 to see if you can figure out their e-mail password
3. Trying to conveniently be at the mall or at a certain bar/restaurant/club when you think they’re gonna be there
4. Using FB or Blackplanet or whatever the social networking site of the day was to try to figure out who might have been an ex or someone they slept with and contact them under an alias pretending to be an old friend trying to get information
5. Finding out what classes theyre taking and enrolling in them even though youre an Econ major and theyre Computer Engineering
Oh and by the way, I haven’t actually done ALL of these but I definitely maybe have considered it LOL.. (I’ve gotten help, I swear *clutching my exes old sweater to my chest that still vaguely smells like his Curve cologne*)
Im being facetious of course
@BKSweetheart,
I have done all of the above. It’s all about getting info so u can cunningly work out how u can be in the object of yr affections life. It only gets weird/freaky if u get caught. I’ve never been caught- too smooth.
LOL @ the titile of the thread “I miss your musk”
I thought Janet Jackson was singing that back in the day, when she was really saying “miss you much”. I was singing loud and wrong.
Another sign is when you get mad at the person your stalking b/c of something you read/saw during your stalking episode…ex. I have an ex who randomly texts to say hey, and how he hasn’t talked to me in a while since he was mad at me from a pic he saw on FB… which actually adds another level to ur layer of craziness when u openly discuss your stalking tendencies with the person your stalking.
A couple summers ago I started dating this guy…one night I went out with my friends, got home around 3am…Had to be to work for 7, and when I walked out of my house around 6..there was a note on my car that said: “I was just thinking about u” signed with his initials…. now remember I said I didn’t get home till around 3..which means u just happened to be driving by my house between 3:15-6?! Creeeeeeepy!……needless to say I stopped talkin to him
Stalker Tendencies….
This guy I met in Jamaica when I was like 13 called me for YEARS to tell me he loved me, wish me happy birthday, ask if I loved him, nonsense nonsense nonsense….for YEARS! Mind you I changed my number(s) yes plural quite often and moved quite often and he still managed to figure the ish out!
He finally stopped when I hit maybe 16…but then recently called my cousin to ask if she knew my number so he could wish me a happy birthday! WTF?!?! Seriously move on! he didnt even get the kuddy! Like WTF?!?!
Even worse. I went on a cruise that stopped in a few places (jamaica being one of them) and I kid you not He showed up at Dunn’s River (great place, take a visit!) looking all sorts of crazy! I had to make a mad dash back to the boat! It was a mess! I’m stills cared to answer calls that show up as “unavailable” thinking he has found me again.
Anywho…he was a dedicated stalker and he gets points for the dedication…maybe an E for effort.
Stalking is too time consuming..I already have enough on my plate. I can’t fit that in my schedule! And besides knowing how it feels to be stalked will never allow me to turn around and stalk anyone else. I just can’t!
BTW: I have become an AVID reader of VSB and ya’ll truly make my days a little better. Great Job! I have told all my friends about this place! The posts are always great
@IJstDntUnderstand, thats a dude with foresight. He was gettin at you kinda young…a green card is one helluva drug.
@HabitualLineCrossa, I was not/and still ain’t the one!
LMAO if that’s what he wanted he shoulda let it be known so that I could tell him he was wasting his time!
@IJstDntUnderstand,
Dedicated is right! That is all.
# 2 is all me! I have an exceptional memory, and I think it’s a valuable quality I possess to be able to bring up random conversations and things from the past! I guess in my mind it gives me a chance to show him how attentive I am (thus very interested in him!). Though in retrospect, my attempts have seemed to go right over their heads; very seldom are my crushes reciprocated. I don’t know…maybe it’s not so cute and I come off as “trying too hard.”? Do I have stalker tendencies?!
Is it stalking if you are doing all this following or following up on someone that you are actually officially in a relationship with?
@Caballeroso, I think so! It might not be shunned as hard, but it’s still kinda creepy! I went out with my girls one night, and my boyfriend at the time saw me dancing with one of my guy friends who he kind of knew in passing. Later, when my former bf came to my house that night, I caught him adding that guy on Facebook, and stalking his profile to find any pictures of me and him together.
Add that to the fact that he would obsessively check what people posted on my wall and go through my pictures, and I would say NOT okay!
These are some of the weirdest, creepiest comments I’ve ever read. lol… online property searches? criminal background checks? county court records?
The theme song for today is Hello, by Lionel Richie.
@SouthernCharm, or Rockwell’s “Somebody’s Watching Me”
II agree that it’s important to fact check as much as possible.
I had one guy I was seeing tell me that he was enrolled in the MPH/JD program at a major university in the area. He told me he was a part-time student and thus it would take him 5 to 6 years to complete the program instead of the standard 4. I thought “Impressive; he’s working on his masters and law degree at the same time”.
Later, I pulled up the university’s website and the MPH/JD program description. It stated CLEARLY on the website that students enrolled in this program must be enrolled FULL-TIME and that part-time enrollment was not permitted. OK…. I went on to pull up the current student directory and low and behold, typing his name into the search box returned me zero results (and yes, he did give he his full and real name; when I googled him, his employment information came up- at least that checked out).
So, it’s obvious that this mofo is clearly lying about academic endeavors! I decided to stop dating him then and there (never gave him a reason why).
About two years later, I ran into him and ask him how school was going. He gave me some BS excuse about having to leave the program for so-and-so reason.
I guess you can fake being in law school but can’t fake taking the bar exam and actually practicing law.
That fact checking save me a whole lot of drama!
I think it’s safe to consider it stalking once you start making changes to your life, or your life starts revolving around one person, and you’re not in a serious relationship with them. Also, boundaries are important. Going through someome else’s personal belongings is never cool.
As far as information that’s readily available on the internet, I can understand why people do it (hell employers do it) but I think it takes away from dating. In my experience, you don’t have to dig too deep to figure people out because the shady people will make themselves known all on their own (my mother always told me “pay attention to people and they will show you who they are.”)
@MoreAndAgain, Similarly, an ex of mine would say “Pay attention to what people say…a crazy person will tell you they’re crazy”.
Hilarious and my two cents…
Decided (impromptu, cuz that’s how I roll) to go to a friend’s birthday party. Said party was ALSO impromptu and at least 45 minutes to an hour away from anywhere I normally hang out, mind you…
I’m at the party/get together and my phone rings (ex boyfriend), I hit “silent” AND take my phone to the car. A friend of mine gets a mystery text saying, “Get you d*mned phone out of the car and answer IT!” I retrieve my phone and turn it back on (sometimes shock puts you on autopilot *shrug*).
Within the next minute not only does MY phone receive a text…FOUR other people simultaneously receive the same text saying, “LEAVE THE HOUSE! Tenchi’s ex knows she’s there…).
Filing in the blanks all after the fact and whatnot..
According to the Ex, he “remembered” that my friend was having a birthday…ASSUMED there would be a birthday party AND drove an HOUR away to hang out at the grocery store nearest the friend’s house in case anybody needed to make an “alcohol run”. Dude posted up outside of the convenience store and sure enough, when said “alcohol run” happened, he followed SOMEBODY ELSE to the party…
At which point he sat outside for another 4 hours and left when he noticed the backyard light on THEN drove and sat outside of my place until I returned the next morning…
(yes, I jumped two backyard fences and doubled back trying to shake homeboy…)
*in my Homer voice* D’Oh!
If you can find the persons job without them telling you the actual location of said job.
Real life: I told this dude I worked down the street from the Greyhound station. That could have been 1 or 2 or 5 blocks, but somehow this nutcase found it! Not only that he took the bus to my job and came into the lobby looking for me. After that I gave him the boot and he continued to call me even after I said stop calling.
My boyfriend at the time called him and the calls stopped. To this day, I don’t know what he said to him, but it worked!
Another one was this guy who was DETERMINED to have my phone number. Whenever I would see him he would make a comment about getting my phone number. This dude was ohsonotsexy. He had man boobs for pete’s sake! One party, me and a group of friends were talking about cell phones. This was when the RaZr was popular. Me not thinking lets him look at it. 10 minutes later he calls my phone and says I got your number now. I almost took his phone and jammed it up his ass.
What about people that stalk their current girlfriend/boyfriend?
I can say that I’ve had only one occasion of this happening to me. At the time, my boyfriend and I had been dating for about 3 years and things were pretty rocky. Anyways, I’m home one night and my doorbell rings. I open the door and sitting on the porch, a few feet away from my door is a gift, and no one is in sight. I leave the house to grab the gift, walk out to the street and do a quick glance both ways. I see no one.
I return to the house and open the gift. It’s obviously from my boyfriend as it’s a purse that I’d been admiring for a while but never got around to purchasing. So I pick up the phone to call him but get no answer.
I go upstairs to my bedroom and hop on the phone. As I’m chatting, I’m looking out my bedroom window (which looks out onto the front of the house) and I see my boyfriend’s car parked about 4 houses down. WTF?? I call him again. No answer. I leave the house and walk down the street to his car (it’s definitely his as he has personalized plates). No boyfriend. Still calling his phone and getting no answer. Now, this is strange!
I go back to the house and start becoming extrememly concerned. I stay up about another 2 hours trying to located him, even calling his mother to see if she’s heard anything from him. Nothing.
I’m exhausted and finally decide to go to bed. At the time, I had a dog who slept in my bedroom in the evening. Well, my little pooch would not got to sleep! She just kept looking around and being on full alert which obviously made concerned me, so I decided to investigate. I start looking around the room and see nothing. Finally, I go to my closest and guess who’s sitting on my closet floor covered beneath clothes and shoes? My boyfriend!!!! He sat in my closet for over 2 hours spying on me!!!
Obviously, that relationship ended!!!
I told you, it’s not called stalking, it’s called persistently pursuing,
Hey, been perusing the site for a while now. Champ & Panama, this stuff is genius. Pardon the blatant plug (i swear it’s relevant lol), but check out Stalk Surfin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YguJa77FSsY
I was almost mistaken for a stalker once. Freshman year I had this girl in my dorm, we were tryna watch a movie or something but the DVD got stuck in my TV. So she, being an engineering major or some ish, starts finagling with the joint and trying to get the movie out.
I’m watchin her do her thing, and I just jokingly say something like “You seem like one of those people that breaks sh*t and puts it back together for fun,” and she comes to a dead-ass stop and goes “DID YOU GO ON MY MYSPACE?!?!?!” (Apparently, what I said was something she put on her page, damn near verbatim).
I’m just like naw shorty, I just sat here and watched you break my damn TV.
i have a friend who is sooo guilty of numba 2. she stay rememberin shit that isnt even memorable. like she’ll tell me what i wore to a party two years ago…no lie… smh
I don’t take the issue of stalking lightly …. an ex turned stalker was only stopped when I inlisted the help of the local police and the FBI got involved. Interesting how love and passion stalking can turn to you need to die stalking. All is well now and I’m much wiser.
I’ve never thought of checking out friends facebook profiles as stalking …. but then I only check them occasionally.
I do have a question though. I was engaged to a few years ago. It was a long distance relationship, which is difficult, but we were determined to make it work, wait out marrying and being together full time for the few years until our kids were out of high school. He broke off our engagement (over the phone during a call I made to him telling him my mother had passed away!!!). He told me he loved me but he had reconnected with someone he had gone to school with 30 years ago and they were serious and considering marriage. He and I had been together for four years, our kids felt like and treated each other like family, and although he and I were both frustrated by the infrequency of our visits, I was blind sided … and he’s never spoken to me again other than to very formally offer his condolances on the death of my mother. Long story I know, but I do have a point, a question that’s worrying me.
Occassionally I googgle his name, check to see if he got married. I can’t even say why I do it. My best friend and my daughter say that consitutes stalking him. I never once considered that I could be a stalker … I was always proud that I didn’t email him or call him.
So am I a stalker?