Lists, Pop Culture, Race & Politics

I Love It: Movies I’m Surprised White People Have Seen

All of movies combined grossed A MILLI A MILLI A MILLI. Cheers b*tches!

You ever have a conversation with somebody of another race and you find out that they’re intimately familiar with the ways, customs, and downside of your own? That happened to me one day. I was talking to somebody I work with and he freely mentioned that he’s ridden The Soul Train of Washington, DC’s Metrorail system aka The Green Line.

And yes, it means exactly what you think it means. I starts and ends in ye locale of color and runs through the heart of DC’s Black communities in NW and SE DC. It threw me for a loop as I realized dude was one of those chaps who might actually have seen a movie like Hot Boyz which starred (and I use that term loosely) Gary Busey – must have had a mortgage issue that month- and Silkk The Shocker. I came to find out that he only dates Black women and liked to use slang whenever possible. Nice enough chap, but he caught me off guard and I do not like surprises.

I like big butts. I cannot lie. But surprises? Not so much. It’s why I don’t mess with 3D television. It’s like things kept jumping out at me. I wasn’t ready.

What does that have to do with the price of square tacos in El Paso? Nothing.

But my former coworker is the type to watch movies that I’d be surprised if most white people had seen. It’s not because the movies are bad either. It’s just because, well, why on Earth would they be watching some of these movies. We can rarely relate to them so I can only imagine a bunch of elderly white people in a nursing home trying to differentiate between all of the Lil’ running around in any movie produced by a record company. But I’m not even mostly surprised by those movies since let’s be real, most of us don’t watch them either. Here are movies I’m talking about….and alas, some white folks have seen them.

1. Love & Basketball/Brown Sugar/Any movie with Taye Diggs

While I appreciate these movies, I also rap, play basketball and have a bald head. So I can relate. When I find out that a white person has actually seen Love & Basketball, it’s like I want to get to understand who they are and why. And I’m not talking the Michael Rapaport, N’Bushe Wright banging white folks, I’m talking Kevin James style. Taye Diggs knows how to pick movies that resonate with Black America and pretty much stop there. Which isn’t a problem mind you,  I live in Black America so I get my resonation on. Hate it or love, Taye Diggs is a significant part of the Black movie going experience. I’m not sure what to do with that information so I’ll just smack it up, flip it, and rub it down.

2. Thuggin’ It And Lovin’ It (Part 1 or 2)

I’m almost afraid to even mention this. And do you know why? I’ll tell you why. Have you ever seen a movie so horrendous that you were ashamed of your race? I’m afraid that because I mention this, some white person outside of Louisiana will see this and then be able to justifiably judge all Black people. I watched it with my homeboy and we just sat silent after it was over and read a calculus book. To summarize: Troy Da Triggaman has money and nothing better to do so he allows ninjas from Baton Rouge to promote themselves with various weapons, drug paraphanalia, while repping their part of town and basically just talking about all the crimes they participate in. While holding firearms. Or booty. Yes, holding booty. Boi boi boi boi boi. There are also music videos for songs like “Thuggin’ It And Lovin’ It” which is about, you guessed it thuggin’ it and lovin’ it, “16teen” which according to the author really says “sixteen” not “sixteenteen” as it’s written. Either way, sixteen is when he married his block (ninja), but seventeen was the first time he shot a ninja. Poetry. Let’s just say, I feel confident in saying that Baton Rouge, Louisiana just might be the most ignorant city on the planet.

3. Spike Lee films that don’t star Denzel

Denzel is a box office draw so that kind of goes without saying, but when a white person tells me they’ve seen School Daze, I’m thunderstruck. Or She’s Got To Have It. Or the box office suicide flick, She Hate Me. Spike’s a little too complex at time for even me and I know its Black History Month. Though interestingly enough, I went to go see Bamboozled at the movies and the theater was extremely diverse. I’ll never understand that. And I actually think outside of Malcolm X, Bamboozled is Spike’s best movie.

4. Tyler Perry movies that star Madea

A long time ago, my boss came in raving to the admin in my office about a movie she had just seen that she absolutely loved. That movie? Diary of A Mad Black Woman. My boss? Old White Woman. Like Fried Green Tomatoes old. I didn’t know what to do with that information so I just crawled under my desk and sucked on my thumb in the fetal position for a few hours (I used sick leave). I wasn’t sure if it would help or hurt race relations but Obama was elected so maybe Tyler Perry isn’t the antichrist after all.

5. Paid In Full

This is a true story. In grad school, one of my professors told me he’d watched Paid In Full and was fascinated by the storyline and the depth of conflict in the hood. Just fascinated. He told me because…I was the Black student. The end.

Um, what about you?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka WHAT’S THAT SH*T THAT THEY BE SMOKIN’ – TICAL aka PERSEUS JACKSON aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • Tes

    Can I say I died a little inside at Thuggin It and Lovin It?

    I damn near passed out at Sixteenteen…lawd

    Foxy Brown. Shaft. Old school blaxploitation flicks. I don’t know people my age who even know what those are, but I ran into a chick the other day watching Shaft, and just mouthing the words verbatim. I’m not used to seeing blondes know things like that… o.O not sayin it’s not cool, just…unusual. Can I say I wanted to be her friend immediately after that?

  • http://www.teamhellaswag.com dubs. @ teamhelllaswag

    White people watching School Daze?! What they know about the bump?

    … I had a friend try to talk to me about the Soul Plane. … Like, I barely knew that movie existed; why are you discussing plot (term used loosely) points with me?

  • coldsweat3

    wtf is Thuggin it and Lovin it. If white folks have seen it i am super behind!! I cosign on the Spike Lee films, particularly the more socially conscious ones on black issues. 25TH hour does not count.

    Im shocked when white folks have seen

    Poetic Justice

    Menace II Society

    Dont be a Menace to Society while drinking your juice in the hood

  • http://www.mapplecore.com Marc A.

    Rosewood
    I have a white friend who saw it but originally asked if he could see it with me…

    I said you’re kidding me right? I know we’re cool and all but….NO! And rightly so, because after I finally did see it, he was the first white person I saw after (we lived in the same dorm) and immediately wanted to beat him down…LOL

  • LuckBALady

    I work in a public library in Alabama. One week I counted all the little old white women that came in the library looking for any Madea movie to check out. I lost count…but I do know little old white women LOVE Madea. LOVE. Go figure.

  • miss t-lee

    “Fried Green Tomatoes old”? Bwahahah your boss was reminiscent of Jessica Tandy huh?? I’ve never heard of “Thuggin’ It and Lovin’ It”, and after reading your description, I know I haven’t missed anything.

  • Anastasia!!!

    16teen” which according to the author really says “sixteen” not “sixteenteen” as it’s written.

    Okay so I fricking guffawed at that!!! Bwahahahaaaa!!!

    Also your co-worker, I’m not so sure about his types because I never know if he is acting that way because he wants me to know how “down” he is, or if those are really just his mannerisms.

    And being from the South, I am so aware of the many 2520’s that love to show me how “down” they are – :-/ no thank you.

    The only awkwardness for me is when the white person laughs at the thing that is funny in the movie that you didn’t expect them to watch in the first place….. But “eh, only me and my people get to enjoy that moment. When you do it, it’s racism. And you need to be okay with that.”

    Oh Peej!!

  • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

    “Hot Boyz which starred (and I use that term loosely) Gary Busey”

    WOW, I just saw this on my Comcast info guide (insert product placement pic of remote here) and was all, “Wait… what?” He’s actually in this film? How did I miss those teef? Oh, because I watched this movie with one ear lobe.

    “Any movie with Taye Diggs”

    HIS WIFE. There ya go.

    “16teen”

    WAIT. WHAT?! TELL me this doesn’t exist. *doesn’t head to Google to search because then that makes it real*

    “I feel confident in saying that Baton Rouge, Louisiana just might be the most ignorant city on the planet.”

    Oh so NOW you reveal your true reasons for not holding a VSB day there. *sympathetic sigh* There, there, Louisiana. Yo hot sauce good, doe.

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  • http://naturallyalise.com/blog Naturally Alise

    I am not so much shocked at movies they have seen, but more so at the reaction. Like you mentioned in the post about one liking Madea and ‘nem… well they always seem to like the movies and want to ask me if that’s what it is like in the hood… Ummm, I ain’t never lived in the hood, I am a suburbs gal who went to a very white high school… #shruglife … I ain’t live in the hood until I went to college , lol (HBCU)

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