Lists, Pop Culture, Race & Politics

I Love It: Movies I’m Surprised White People Have Seen

All of movies combined grossed A MILLI A MILLI A MILLI. Cheers b*tches!

You ever have a conversation with somebody of another race and you find out that they’re intimately familiar with the ways, customs, and downside of your own? That happened to me one day. I was talking to somebody I work with and he freely mentioned that he’s ridden The Soul Train of Washington, DC’s Metrorail system aka The Green Line.

And yes, it means exactly what you think it means. I starts and ends in ye locale of color and runs through the heart of DC’s Black communities in NW and SE DC. It threw me for a loop as I realized dude was one of those chaps who might actually have seen a movie like Hot Boyz which starred (and I use that term loosely) Gary Busey – must have had a mortgage issue that month- and Silkk The Shocker. I came to find out that he only dates Black women and liked to use slang whenever possible. Nice enough chap, but he caught me off guard and I do not like surprises.

I like big butts. I cannot lie. But surprises? Not so much. It’s why I don’t mess with 3D television. It’s like things kept jumping out at me. I wasn’t ready.

What does that have to do with the price of square tacos in El Paso? Nothing.

But my former coworker is the type to watch movies that I’d be surprised if most white people had seen. It’s not because the movies are bad either. It’s just because, well, why on Earth would they be watching some of these movies. We can rarely relate to them so I can only imagine a bunch of elderly white people in a nursing home trying to differentiate between all of the Lil’ running around in any movie produced by a record company. But I’m not even mostly surprised by those movies since let’s be real, most of us don’t watch them either. Here are movies I’m talking about….and alas, some white folks have seen them.

1. Love & Basketball/Brown Sugar/Any movie with Taye Diggs

While I appreciate these movies, I also rap, play basketball and have a bald head. So I can relate. When I find out that a white person has actually seen Love & Basketball, it’s like I want to get to understand who they are and why. And I’m not talking the Michael Rapaport, N’Bushe Wright banging white folks, I’m talking Kevin James style. Taye Diggs knows how to pick movies that resonate with Black America and pretty much stop there. Which isn’t a problem mind you,  I live in Black America so I get my resonation on. Hate it or love, Taye Diggs is a significant part of the Black movie going experience. I’m not sure what to do with that information so I’ll just smack it up, flip it, and rub it down.

2. Thuggin’ It And Lovin’ It (Part 1 or 2)

I’m almost afraid to even mention this. And do you know why? I’ll tell you why. Have you ever seen a movie so horrendous that you were ashamed of your race? I’m afraid that because I mention this, some white person outside of Louisiana will see this and then be able to justifiably judge all Black people. I watched it with my homeboy and we just sat silent after it was over and read a calculus book. To summarize: Troy Da Triggaman has money and nothing better to do so he allows ninjas from Baton Rouge to promote themselves with various weapons, drug paraphanalia, while repping their part of town and basically just talking about all the crimes they participate in. While holding firearms. Or booty. Yes, holding booty. Boi boi boi boi boi. There are also music videos for songs like “Thuggin’ It And Lovin’ It” which is about, you guessed it thuggin’ it and lovin’ it, “16teen” which according to the author really says “sixteen” not “sixteenteen” as it’s written. Either way, sixteen is when he married his block (ninja), but seventeen was the first time he shot a ninja. Poetry. Let’s just say, I feel confident in saying that Baton Rouge, Louisiana just might be the most ignorant city on the planet.

3. Spike Lee films that don’t star Denzel

Denzel is a box office draw so that kind of goes without saying, but when a white person tells me they’ve seen School Daze, I’m thunderstruck. Or She’s Got To Have It. Or the box office suicide flick, She Hate Me. Spike’s a little too complex at time for even me and I know its Black History Month. Though interestingly enough, I went to go see Bamboozled at the movies and the theater was extremely diverse. I’ll never understand that. And I actually think outside of Malcolm X, Bamboozled is Spike’s best movie.

4. Tyler Perry movies that star Madea

A long time ago, my boss came in raving to the admin in my office about a movie she had just seen that she absolutely loved. That movie? Diary of A Mad Black Woman. My boss? Old White Woman. Like Fried Green Tomatoes old. I didn’t know what to do with that information so I just crawled under my desk and sucked on my thumb in the fetal position for a few hours (I used sick leave). I wasn’t sure if it would help or hurt race relations but Obama was elected so maybe Tyler Perry isn’t the antichrist after all.

5. Paid In Full

This is a true story. In grad school, one of my professors told me he’d watched Paid In Full and was fascinated by the storyline and the depth of conflict in the hood. Just fascinated. He told me because…I was the Black student. The end.

Um, what about you?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka WHAT’S THAT SH*T THAT THEY BE SMOKIN’ – TICAL aka PERSEUS JACKSON aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • Tes

    Can I say I died a little inside at Thuggin It and Lovin It?

    I damn near passed out at Sixteenteen…lawd

    Foxy Brown. Shaft. Old school blaxploitation flicks. I don’t know people my age who even know what those are, but I ran into a chick the other day watching Shaft, and just mouthing the words verbatim. I’m not used to seeing blondes know things like that… o.O not sayin it’s not cool, just…unusual. Can I say I wanted to be her friend immediately after that?

    • Geneva Girl

      I could see white men watching Foxy Brown. They’re just getting off on Pam Grier.

      • Mimi

        My first girl-crush was Pam Grier. It developed when I was ten years old and seen the movie “Coffy”.

        • Tes

          My dad told me when I was five or so that if he hadn’t met my mom he would’ve held out for Pam Grier…so I’ve been a fan of her’s ever since I think :)

    • Mimi

      “…2. Thuggin’ It And Lovin’ It (Part 1 or 2)…”

      I thought it was a title of a black p0rn movie.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        nope, but it has the same lasting effect on life…just leaves you feeling a little…empty.

        • Tes

          Co-sign.SMH…never again.

      • http://emdottie.com EmDottie

        I thought. The same. Exact. Thing.

  • http://www.teamhellaswag.com dubs. @ teamhelllaswag

    White people watching School Daze?! What they know about the bump?

    … I had a friend try to talk to me about the Soul Plane. … Like, I barely knew that movie existed; why are you discussing plot (term used loosely) points with me?

    • http://Www.alovelydai.com Alovelydai

      U want to confuse the heck out of a non black person? Tell ‘em that you would never in your right mind watch Soul Plane. I guess they think we’ll watch anything & I mean ANYTHING as long as we see our faces in it. Who knew we’re not a monolithic people.

      • WIP

        Anything involving Snoop Dogg is supposed to be cool to us.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          um, anything involving Snoop IS cool.

      • ac dubois

        This is true! Tell them you don’t listen to lil wayne or somebody or something undeniably black and their whole life no longer has purpose

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        I think I’ve done it on this site or maybe another one before, but I think I’m going to do a retro review on Soul Plane again. For some odd reason, Soul Plane gets the worst rap ever, when the truth is, it was no worse or better than half of these other movies. I can’t for the life of me figure out why Soul Plane is the Soulja Boy of Black movies.

        • k-steez

          Maybe ’cause people haven’t seen it? I know when I think “worst/most embarrasing Black movie ever” my mind immediately thinks Soul Plane. (For TV shows, Ninjas in Space, or whatevadahell Ron from Different World was in) Haven’t seen it though…that’s just from the promos. Only people like you, who watch EVERY Black movie no matter how bad it is (for research purposes? lol), really know whether it was as bad as everyone thinks it was.

          • whykendra

            i was gonna say the opposite. its because so many people have seen it, possibly against their will. and a lot of white people have seen it and reference it as well (in jokes of course). almost a cult classic. lmao. like The Room. go to youtube and search “The Room oh hey johnny”.

    • Mo-VSS

      Sadly, I went to watch Soul Plane at the MOVIES….yes, folks.

      I’ve already been stoned for it. *side note* I went to watch it while stoned with friends in college, thinking it would be at least so bad it was good, but no…it was just damn bad.

  • coldsweat3

    wtf is Thuggin it and Lovin it. If white folks have seen it i am super behind!! I cosign on the Spike Lee films, particularly the more socially conscious ones on black issues. 25TH hour does not count.

    Im shocked when white folks have seen

    Poetic Justice

    Menace II Society

    Dont be a Menace to Society while drinking your juice in the hood

    • http://www.twitter.com/Stank_0 Stank_0

      To add to the hood jawns, I would be floored to meet a non-black person who has watched New Jersey Drive. A few more

      Shaft goes to Africa

      Roots

      Rosewood

      Dolemite

      Any of Percy Miller’s hoodtastic movies

      • coldsweat3

        lmao i was really about to write anything with Master P on my list so good call. I think alot of white folks have seen at least most of Roots. Especially when it first aired as the miniseries, a week long guilt tripped ensued.

        I havent seen Rosewood in years i loved that movie!

      • Leonie UK

        Donald “Mr Scrubs” is the reason non black people watched that movie, mostly ghetto white heads but they still count.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          I don’t think non-Black folks would have watched New Jersey Drive back then for Donald Faison. That’s like saying they’d watch Sugar Hill for him.

          I’m pretty sure no white person is going back to revisit his movie catalog.

      • Geneva Girl

        Lots of white people saw Roots. I’m of the age where I actually saw it on TV when it originally came on. EVERYBODY watched it. We talked about it in school.

        • Will

          to Geneva..i just turned 51, and remember teh sensation that was Roots. why is it so hard to beleive that whitey doesn’t care about the human condition.

    • UrbanDismay

      I have never heard of “Thuggin and Loving It” either. And I don’t even watch Spike Lee movies anymore. The things I miss out on.

      But “Don’t Be A Menace…” is one of my favorite movies of all time.

      • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

        The soundtrack to that movie was a beast. That and High School High.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Thuggin’ It and Lovin’ It is intiminately familiar to many in Louisiana since the police watched it too and went out and started arresting ninjas involved in the making of the “film”. Yeah…its like that. And that’s the way it is.

    • Mo-VSS

      I don’t know anything about Thuggin and lovin it either…

  • http://www.mapplecore.com Marc A.

    Rosewood
    I have a white friend who saw it but originally asked if he could see it with me…

    I said you’re kidding me right? I know we’re cool and all but….NO! And rightly so, because after I finally did see it, he was the first white person I saw after (we lived in the same dorm) and immediately wanted to beat him down…LOL

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      yeah, Rosewood is the one movie that universally has that effect on all of us. its just not safe to see it around white people.

    • Omar

      For me this goes for any movie involving black folks who’s setting is any time period before 1980, and/or movies like “A Time to Kill”.

      • D_luv

        Co-sign! I actively avoid “Mississippi Burning black rage” flicks because I can’t just be runnin up on white people after I watch them and catching a case. Period. Avoiding jail is a lifestyle, people.

      • whykendra

        ghosts of mississippi with whoopi goldberg. when i think about her washing the blood off the driveway….see now im getting angry all over again.

    • Stranger

      I just watched the trailer for rosewood for the first time.

      Im angry.

      A TWO MINUTE TRAILER AND IM PISSED!

      How in the hell were you going to watch the whole movie with white folk lol

  • LuckBALady

    I work in a public library in Alabama. One week I counted all the little old white women that came in the library looking for any Madea movie to check out. I lost count…but I do know little old white women LOVE Madea. LOVE. Go figure.

    • coldsweat3

      I bet they do and really they are thinking, “oh man this is the same ol minstrelsy that Daddy use to watch. These ninjas keep reinventing classics!!!”

      • http://iamyourpeople.com/ I Am Your People

        No lie – I was walking past the computers at the public library last Wednesday and saw a middle aged balding man watching the “Dougie” video. I was, and still am, confused

        • http://yourchildsmother.blogspot.com/ KMN

          Hell my white jewish 50 something year old co worker came in and told me about how her son taught her to supermandatho. Needless to say I was perplexed. confused. embarrassed. frustrated. I don’t even know how to supermandatho. (Oh and she proceeded to show me while at work).

          o_0

          KMN

          • Mimi

            ::FLATLINE::

          • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

            Because I am of supreme ignance, I taught my homie coworker how to do it when I first started at my job. SMH @ my future children.

            • http://yourchildsmother.blogspot.com/ KMN

              …and SMH @ you for showing coworker and your future children’s children lolol

              KMN

            • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

              My supreme ignance caused me to learn how to do it by watching youtube. I have to stay up on the times.

          • WIP

            Y’all are killing me today.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            I kind of feel like you’ve done a disservice to our community by not knowing how to supermandatho. For a solid year, it was a vital part of my ethnicity. Shame on you.

            I’ll bet you can’t dougie either. You know who can? Ellen.

            • http://yourchildsmother.blogspot.com/ KMN

              Dammit I can dougie (but i hate to say that I learned AFTER i was taught by Wolf Blitzer)

              I think I am going to turn my black card in right now (but I have to say after having this convo about what dances i do and don’t have and after reading this entry I don’t feel so bad about it).

              KMN

            • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

              Baba Wawa can too.

              You can’t escape the dougiedom.

              • http://yourchildsmother.blogspot.com/ KMN

                girl i thought baba was gonna fall out tryna dougie. lmao

                KMN

      • Chelz the Troublemaker

        I bet they do and really they are thinking, “oh man this is the same ol minstrelsy that Daddy use to watch. These ninjas keep reinventing classics!!!” <—this line killed me. Bury me a G!

    • http://www.thefriendraiser.com jenifer daniels

      every time (in the past) that i’ve gone to a TP movie, it was 50/50

  • miss t-lee

    “Fried Green Tomatoes old”? Bwahahah your boss was reminiscent of Jessica Tandy huh?? I’ve never heard of “Thuggin’ It and Lovin’ It”, and after reading your description, I know I haven’t missed anything.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I can’t believe that Thuggin’ It and Lovin’ It didn’t make to your part of Texas. I’m almost positive that ninjas in Houston are aware of it.

      • Jen

        No we are not.

        • Boo Radley

          I’m with Jen. No idea. And I’m pretty sure it’s not just because of the subconscious block that I have on anything remotely BR related.

      • miss t-lee

        LMAO!!! Nah dawg, I haven’t heard of that. If I didn’t make it to the H, it surely didn’t make it to Austin.

  • Anastasia!!!

    16teen” which according to the author really says “sixteen” not “sixteenteen” as it’s written.

    Okay so I fricking guffawed at that!!! Bwahahahaaaa!!!

    Also your co-worker, I’m not so sure about his types because I never know if he is acting that way because he wants me to know how “down” he is, or if those are really just his mannerisms.

    And being from the South, I am so aware of the many 2520′s that love to show me how “down” they are – :-/ no thank you.

    The only awkwardness for me is when the white person laughs at the thing that is funny in the movie that you didn’t expect them to watch in the first place….. But “eh, only me and my people get to enjoy that moment. When you do it, it’s racism. And you need to be okay with that.”

    Oh Peej!!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Oh Peej!

      THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.

    • http://yourchildsmother.blogspot.com/ KMN

      I LOVE that you used guffawed in this response lol. I said that outloud the other day and realized that’s really a word that was meant to be typed/written and not said because IMO it sounds retarded lol

      KMN

  • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

    “Hot Boyz which starred (and I use that term loosely) Gary Busey”

    WOW, I just saw this on my Comcast info guide (insert product placement pic of remote here) and was all, “Wait… what?” He’s actually in this film? How did I miss those teef? Oh, because I watched this movie with one ear lobe.

    “Any movie with Taye Diggs”

    HIS WIFE. There ya go.

    “16teen”

    WAIT. WHAT?! TELL me this doesn’t exist. *doesn’t head to Google to search because then that makes it real*

    “I feel confident in saying that Baton Rouge, Louisiana just might be the most ignorant city on the planet.”

    Oh so NOW you reveal your true reasons for not holding a VSB day there. *sympathetic sigh* There, there, Louisiana. Yo hot sauce good, doe.

    • coldsweat3

      LOL @Cheekie…

      “Any movie with Taye Diggs” HIS WIFE. There ya go.

      I was thinking he only dates white women, im sure many whites have seen his stuff(no pun).

    • http://naturallyalise.com/blog Naturally Alise

      “*doesn’t head to Google to search because then that makes it real*”

      hilarious!!! (and true)

      • Leonie UK

        Taye Diggs is a white icon. How many times can he be mentioned in ‘Cougar Town’ or have his photo in the background, and not be in the damm show. I understand white America’s need for him. I still don’t get him. Diggs on Broadway yes,on the screen no, he’s a dweeb.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          wait…what?? Taye Diggs gets mentioned in CougarTown???

    • D_luv

      Baton Rouge, LA and all the towns like it are the reason I make sure to say that I’m from NEW ORLEANS and not simply Louisiana to people. I hadn’t ever heard of Thuggin It until this post. Thank God for that buffer lil stretch of highway /ghetto levy, even tho most of the time that shyt don’t work and the ignance flood is unstoppable.

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  • http://naturallyalise.com/blog Naturally Alise

    I am not so much shocked at movies they have seen, but more so at the reaction. Like you mentioned in the post about one liking Madea and ‘nem… well they always seem to like the movies and want to ask me if that’s what it is like in the hood… Ummm, I ain’t never lived in the hood, I am a suburbs gal who went to a very white high school… #shruglife … I ain’t live in the hood until I went to college , lol (HBCU)

    • http://twitter.com/nikkib1920 Capricorn

      THANK YOU!!!

    • http://www.shesoflyy.com Muze

      “I ain’t live in the hood until I went to college , lol (HBCU)”

      THIS. lmbo. talk about culture shock. woo boy.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      You know, nobody’s ever done a formal survey on this, but I wonder how many Black folks had never seen actual projects until they went to college.

      I remember when some folks got to Morehouse and were shellshocked and shook daddy. When I got there, it was surrounded, nearly on all sides by projects.

      Not anymore. But you can still buy a 50″ inch television for 4.99 and a bucket of church’s.

      • http://twitter.com/Phidelity15 Phidelity15

        Yeah I was kinda confused when I got to MBC and was told DO NOT go past Herndon Stadium and pretty much stick to the campus when going through the AUC. I was always under the impression that college would be my escape from the hood.

      • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

        I drove my Ashley Banks @ss into the projects to hang out when I was in 9th grade. smh… It was for research purposes doe! Don’t judge me.

        I did see the projects as a kid…driving by. My mom would say “that’s what will happen if you don’t do well in school.” #bougieblackfolk smh

      • Quiet Storm

        Ahhh the AUC. I remember during my Orientation @ Clark we were told to actually say ‘hello’ or something pleasant when walking by University Homes projects because they will most likely come after you if they say something to you and you dont respond :-s …..I also remember a guy wearing a huge sign always trying to give up college girls job applications…for the strip club across the street from the West End mall. smh

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      “I ain’t live in the hood until I went to college”

      WOW! Though this makes sense… I mean, since you were really college po and all. Nissel game proper.

      • lunanoire

        In the name of the Broke Diaries I drank water from the tap w/ my hands and paid one measly dollar for amazing live slam poetry. And walked 2 miles each way.

    • whykendra

      i had def seen the projects and had family there before moving to philly. but never did i have to take residence in one. even though my family really didnt have shyt. which by the way is good promo for chesapeake (and all of hampton roads), virginia. you can live in decent neighborhoods and go to a decent (compared to new orleans) school despite your ‘free lunch havin, put the old shoes in the box and where the new ones out of payless’ ass. when i see these philly kids in the projects, catching the train to school im dusturbed. this is the life huh? damn.