I Love Boobs And You Love Boobs…So Why Can’t We Love Boobs Together? » VSB

Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Featured, Theory & Essay

I Love Boobs And You Love Boobs…So Why Can’t We Love Boobs Together?

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You know what’s great? Boobs. Do you know how I know they’re great? Because nearly everybody loves them. Men love them. They make us happy. Women love them? They are orbs worthy of appreciation. Everybody can appreciate curves it seems. Even kids love them. They remind them of pillows. And who doesn’t love pillows? Have you ever in your life met somebody and you said, “hey do you like pillows? And they said, ‘hell naw I don’t like no pillows.'” Naw. You haven’t.

Everybody likes pillows. Sure, people might not use them. That’s not the pillow’s fault. Maybe they have a bad spine or something. Pillows ain’t got nothing to do with that, b. At the very least, people don’t not like pillows. Women put tons of useless pillows all over furniture. Master bedroom beds look like ironing boards with boobs all over them.

Boobs, yo. They’re the best.

And if I know they’re the best and you know they’re the best (and by you, I mean thee of the boob), how come when we BOTH see a set of miraculous and aesthetically pleasing and perhaps even comment inducing boobs, I get in trouble for looking? Serious question.

See, I know you like boobs. I’ve heard you remark about nice boobs in movies. I know that women can appreciate the female human form. I know this because the day I found this out to be true was like the day that Cinque and ‘nem finally won that court case. It was cathartic and I had a moment of “Could it be? Women can enjoy looking at women as much as I do? You mean, we can talk about women TOGETHER?”

That one tear Denzel shed in Glory? I shed that. Different reasons of course, but a tear is a tear. And if I die momma don’t you cry, remember me ballin. Memphis is down 1 game to none. Warriors was a great movie.

Let’s say we’re both out and some woman with tremendous cleavage enters our walking path. Now, I knooooooooooow you see it (I know you see it). I know you see it because Stevie Wonder would see it and would pull out his iPhone and take pictures of it then write a song called “Cracks On The Sidewalk”. So if I see it and you see it, and we both know good boobage when we see it, why for come if I look I feel guilty?

Also, I don’t buy the, “when women look its not perverse so its not that big of a deal” argument. Look, admiratorious boobs make everybody a Perv. Or perve. Is that how you spell perve? Does it have an “e” on the end? Did I just make it French? Is it better as pervé? What happens to an “e” deferred? Black history is real y’all. But you know what’s also real? The chasm between what women can do and men can do when boobs are involved. I mean I’m not looking because I’m dreaming of playing with or fondling them (I might be). I’m merely looking because how can you NOT? It’s not perverse, it’s human nature. It’s like the answer to “why?”

It’s even made me wonder if there’s some sort of code. Like, does the amount of respect we pay depend on what our women are working with? I don’t think there should be because as a man, let me tell you, every time I see a set of boobs it’s like seeing boobs for the first time, even if I’ve seen them a million times. For some objects that don’t really do much except sit there and jiggle when provoked, they sure are super exciting. The way we swoon over them you’d think they could not only do your taxes BUT get you thousands back each year…even if you don’t own property or little people that depend on you.

But I know most men do their damndest not to stare even when women put their sweater puppies on full display. It easily might be the hardest thing to do as a man. It’s like those pants with words on the butt that are meant to be read – I mean, if a word isn’t meant to be read then what is it there for – but people judge you for exercising your 27th Amendment right to reading. Or maybe its just reading butts for too long. Yo no se.

I’m saying though, you see them, boo. I see them. I know you’re looking because I see you looking. For most men, its easier to just walk away then it is to engage in a conversation with a woman who got them thangs out like whoa! Because if we talk too long we’re in trouble. Maybe not real trouble, but like time-out trouble. And if you see them and I see them, and you like them and I like them, why can’t we like them together?

I won’t even chalk it up to insecurity; I don’t think that’s it. You know I love yours. So what gives? How come we can see the same set of ostentatiously gratuitous beautious boobs and I can’t really pay them their respects?

Respect is all we have in this world. I’m paying it forward.

Right?

What’s the rule here, ladies? Sharing is caring. Help us help you enjoy what we enjoy while we’re both enjoying it together.

Fellas, can ya help me?

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Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • Like the n-word, it’s not that other races don’t say it (everyone says it, whether we like it or not), it’s we don’t want to hear it from your mouth. Your girl knows you see it, she just doesn’t want to see you looking. Romance often requires that one act like what they are not, which kind of tells you why it’s always bad advice when someone tells you the problem with your lack of success in relationships or s3x is due to “not being yourself” (no one who wants to f*ck you would ever lie to you like that lol), it’s because you’re a bad actor.

    It’s good to always keep in mind that magicians exist due to the fact that human beings like to be deceived, as long as it isn’t deemed ultimately harmful. People want magic in relationships, and the ability to see the melons without being caught with your woman hand in hand is indeed magical.

    • Lea Thrace

      Look at you with your rational and seemingly well thought out argument.

      Get out of here with that BS. Ignorant comments only today!

    • Wild Cougar

      There are a certain number of split seconds between a glance and a stare. A glance is acceptable. A stare is not. Why? Staring is objectifying. Glancing is acknowledging. I believe all men know how to glance without staring. Just stay on the respectable side of the line.

  • only comments because well. #keishabrownbosom was a real thing. *sips tea
    *pours out likka*

  • Oh and this new format….do i really need to check out 5 mixtapes before i get to commenting the story I chose?

    • panamajackson

      Refresh the page. It shouldn’t be such a huge gap between the end of the post and the comments.

  • Freebird

    If I walk out in a wife beater I’m not doing it because it is hot, I’m doing it because I want To be sexy, show off gawd work and have women notice. I think this is the same for most men.

    Women however do not wear clothes with their tiddymeat hanging out for the same reasons I rock my tshirt. Women are doing it for function and comfort, not to be sexy. The sooner we as men understand this the easier it will be not to look. We have to do better….

    #feministmen

    :)

    • You’re a gem

    • ED

      See two comments up

    • Fair enough. Its hard to distinguish the T Lees who want you to admire the art and others who just like this shirt….tread lightly

      • miss t-lee

        Hush…lol

    • panamajackson

      *coughbullshitcough*

      I know women who ABSOLUTELY go out the house with their tiddymeats out on purpose. They’ve told me as much. I know multiple women who feel like their bodies are bangin’ so we should all notice.

      • its all fun and games until Uncle Denzel sneaks a peek

        • h.h.h.

          Uncle Rob be pointin’ ’em out to Uncle Denzel:

          http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03289/fight-denzel_3289872k.jpg

          • HeyBooHey

            *wall slides* Exactly what the old pervs be lookin like

        • ED

          Lmaoooo I’ve been laughing at this pic since Sunday!!

        • miss t-lee

          Sh*t, they can look too.

          • Voyeur lmao

            • Exhibitionist*

              • miss t-lee

                Neither actually.
                I just have an understanding of how hetero men and women work.
                Women are alluring.

              • Yeah, that

            • miss t-lee

              Judge your cross eyed barber.

        • Lea Thrace

          Internet has NO CHILL!!

          Saw this Sunday and I am still dying.

        • Mika

          This will be forever my favorite meme. I imagine all the old drunk uncles I have met at family functions. lmao.

        • “You know what the gas chambers smell like? Pine oil. That’s where you headed, pine oil heaven.”

        • PunchDrunkLove

          This feels dirty

          • That pic of Denzel almost looks as bad as “Stebie” up there rubbin his hands together…

            • PunchDrunkLove

              LOLOL. Yup….

        • Cleojonz

          Okay I really did NOT nor do I ever again need to see Denzel looking like somebody’s old ass trifling uncle. ***Shudders

      • Freebird

        *Gasps again*

        You mean…..I’m being lied to?

  • DBoySlim

    I have some advice. Learn to rubberneck. Word to Stan Smith.

    • +1 for the AD reference

      • DBoySlim

        That is my favorite episode. Steve killed that track.

        • Steve be singing his ass off yo

  • miss t-lee

    I’m not exactly blessed up top, and that’s fine because pear shaped. But, I got an ample bit to work with
    If I have them out, please look. There is a reason I chose that push-up bra and v neck t-shirt.
    I actually get a kick out of dudes trying not to look, sh*t is hilarious.
    Plus if we’re out and you see something, chances are I’m looking too, because I’m just as mystified as you are. Especially if chick has H cups or something. I’m usually saying a prayer for her poor back.

    • Freebird

      *gasps and clutches cuban link*

      Do better miss-t lee

      • miss t-lee

        *snickers*
        I’m evil, I know.

    • Sigma_Since 93

      “If I have them out, please look. There is a reason I chose that push-up bra and v neck t-shirt.”

      This right here……….

      • You’re wrong for this…

        • Sigma_Since 93

          No I’m not. To paraphrase one of my favorite quotes from Coming to America, If she wants me to look, Imma look.

      • MzzPeaches

        Gone all morning and this is what I come back to? lol

        • Sigma_Since 93

          Like kids cuttin up when the teacher leaves the room!

          • MzzPeaches

            Quite the analogy considering I am one lol.

            *Sidenote*
            It is Teacher Appreciation Week, so yall feel free to drop some gifts n goodies on yall’s kids teachers.

            • Sigma_Since 93

              How many of yo male kids drop items hoping you will pick them up??? #trainedupearly lol!!

              • MzzPeaches

                I work w/ adults now ( a whole ‘notha monster), but when I was teaching middle & HS they were some crafty mofo’s. This one kid would always say he needed help, but would be like “Oh no, Miss ___ don’t get up, I’ll just come to your desk.” It wasn’t until later I realized this lil perv was looking down my shirt while I was trying to help him :-

    • HeyBooHey

      “If I have them out, please look. There is a reason I chose that push-up bra and v neck t-shirt”

      Singing my life with your words. My baby Bs better be ogled whenever I prop them up for glory!

      • miss t-lee

        Small Cs chick.
        I know this life!!!

        • Sigma_Since 93

          Pics or it’s not true

          • miss t-lee

            Yeah…it doesn’t work that way.

          • Sig Curry with the shot boi

          • HeyBooHey

            LOL ya’ll trying to have an unproductive, inappropriate a*s Cinco de Mayo. Breasts and Eggplants

      • Prove it

        • HeyBooHey

          I’ll go after you go ;-)

    • panamajackson

      I can’t lie, I’ve definitely seen some huge boobs then immediately felt really bad for her back. I’m altruistic like that. It’s also possible that I used that word wrong.

      Oh, yaymen to all the rest.

      • miss t-lee

        LOL. You used it right, PJack.
        We care, and sh*t.

      • MzzPeaches

        We’re not all suffering. My back feels just fine.

        • miss t-lee

          Good to hear.

        • panamajackson

          That is wonderful.

        • Wild Cougar

          Also.

    • st george doesnt exist

      see this is why you are one of my favorite posters. I liked my own post just for add a like for your post lol. my wife got those big ums like al bundy used to say lol

      • st george doesnt exist

        cant sleep on the nice pear shaped. i cant fit those in one hand lol

      • miss t-lee

        Awww. I appreciate that. :)

    • HeyBooHey

      Ugh, my cousin has something crazy like an I or J cup and her jugs runneth all the way the eff over smh. They are billowy pillows but she has back pains and digs in her shoulders and back from bras. I ain’t bout that life

      • miss t-lee

        My homegirl had to have a reduction. She had Js. Them bad boys were craziness.
        Even with the reduction she’s a D.

        • Beauty In Truth

          “My homegirl had to have a reduction. She had Js.”

          “She had Js?…” You mean, the shoes–Jordans? That can’t possibly be a real life bra size!

          a,b,c,d,e,f,G…,H-I-J????!!!! 0_0

          • miss t-lee

            Oh…it’s real…lol
            Well, they were.
            *snickers*

        • You’d think that at a certain point, they’d stop adding letters. I’m getting crazy visuals as it is.
          Did you feel invisible walking down the street with her?

          • miss t-lee

            Not at all.

  • Your update finally has a mobile version. Nice.

  • HeyBooHey

    Boobs are boobs. A majority of us have quenched our newborn baby thirst on them. Heck, my homegirl has a set of em that both befuddle me and make me wanna take the world’s greatest naps on them. And I’m full hetero. I don’t mind if bewbew respectfully gazes, long as he doesn’t drool over someone else’s & appreciates my humbly sized chesticles when they’re in his face

  • You never get in trouble for subtle respectful glances.

    • Typically, but theres always that one hyper sensitive woman ready to write a 700 word thinkpiece

      • Sure. Sometimes you’re going to miss a free throw though. That doesn’t mean you don’t attempt to get to the line.

        Bam look at that basketball reference Champ.

  • TeeChantel

    Heyyy now. Boobs are nice. Pierced boobies are even better :)

    • (Kinda overrated)

      • TeeChantel

        (Not really, but thanks)

        • Apologies if i offended

          • TeeChantel

            No offense taken.

      • The ones that fit around the nipple are dope. The bar is kind of passe though.

    • miss t-lee

      Pierced ones are cute, but I couldn’t live that life

      • TeeChantel

        hey, it’s certainly not for everybody.

    • Everytime a woman gets her breasts pierced, her next 15 photos of herself will include a tight shirt to inform everyone she just got them pierced.

      • Bruh

      • TeeChantel

        Yeah. That’s a bit too much.

        • That’s what she said.

          • TeeChantel

            lol. You and Tristan are really gunning for me today, huh?

            • Just feeling you out. :)

      • Facts! Lol

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