I Got Half On It, Girl…Hey, Where’s Your Half?

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Say heffa say what?

I’d like to discuss a problem.  This problem made me say the two most infamous lines in the black English manual for sh*t to say when you can’t believe some sh*t you just heard.

What are the two lines??? Glad you asked.

“N*gga, say what???”

And…

“I WISH a muhf*cka would!!!”

And what would make me say those two lines????  I was having a debate regarding whether or not shacking up was okay.  A friend of mine remarked that shacking up was okay, however, the man should pay the rent and the women should cover the utilties.  What followed in the comments was an ass melage of nonsense and nincompoopery.

I’m going to paraphrase:

“I’d never ever ever ever let a dude live with me that could not or would not pay the rent.  The whole damn thing.  I don’t believe in women paying rent, or splitting it like you’re just f*cking roomates.  You want to live here?  Cool, pay the rent.  You want me cleaning and cooking and sh*t, then get to paying the rent.  I mean you were paying it where you lived before.  And you’ll pay it here, just now you’ll get your laundry done, and your food cooked.  Yeah, yeah and I’ll pay the utilities, just cuz I’m fair.”

Umm…n*gga, say what???

Let’s discuss this part about not believing in a woman paying rent, or splitting it like you’re roommates.

Ummm…newsflash.  YOU ARE F*CKING ROOMMATES.  By definition, shacking up means you are an unmarried individual living with your boyfriend/girlfriend.  With the freedom of society today and the lack of morals running rampant, we all know folks are having sex.  Essentially…you are fucking roommates.  Yeah you might love eachother and all that good stuff but facts are facts.

And let’s discuss this “don’t believe” bullmalarkey.  Since some women seemed I polled agreed with that non-belief in a woman paying rent I’d like to add some of my beliefs.  Mmkay??

Mmkay.

I don’t believe in paying taxes.  I think its a f*cked up practice established by Starbucks, back when it was called Celestialpence.  I also don’t believe in holding open a door for a woman who may or may not say “thank you”.  However, by the powers vested in me, I pronounce not doing either of those things as…

…wait for it…

…it’s coming…

…have you been watching Family Guy?…

…it’s really funny…

…JACKED UP!!!!

It was offered that she’d pay the utilities.  Let’s craft an example, shall we??  Yes, let’s.

HIM Rent: $1000 (and this assumes you AREN’T living in DC, NY, SF, LA or Boston)

HER Cable, internet, and phone: $200 (assuming you got that Titanium Package) Utilities: $100 (including gas/water/electric)

For all you unmathematically inclined people out there.  Him=$1000, HER=$300.

Now, I might have missed a bill here or there since some of you have some bills I’ve never heard of like termite insurance.  Fact is, she’s getting WAY over on dude.  Not her husband (as many of these issues go away once you tie the knot), but her boyfriend.  Remember this?: He paid for his whole rent before, he can do it now.

Excuse me for a second, but that’s the most non-sensical sh*t I’ve ever heard.

Hell, she did too.  So maybe SHE should be paying for the rent then and let him do the utilities.  Further, that whole man as the head of household holds in marriage, when your shacking up…nuh uh.

And let’s just be real here.  No amount of cooking and cleaning is going to cover that.  ESPECIALLY since men are having to do that stuff nowadays TOO!!  Women are working a lot nowadays.  It’s not even fair to expect a woman to cook and clean and do all that extra stuff on her own.  But even if you did, you’d be met with the equal opportunity staredown of death and a bottle of 409 anyway.

Now…let’s get to the second part of this.  Essentially, I’d like to clear my throat, and say quite briskly and evocatively…

I WISH a muhf*cka would tell me they ain’t gonna pay half the rent when we ain’t married.

Negro please.

The only way I can see this is if there is a severe disparity in our pay at our jobs.  If I make $80,000 a year and she makes $40,000, we can discuss it.  Key word there motherfuckers…DISCUSS.

You ain’t gonna just look me dead in my eye and tell me that you ain’t gonna pay rent because I’m the man and I’m supposed to do man things…like pay the rent.

And don’t even THINK about trying to use that “guest room” defense.

What’s that??

Oh it’s that notion that the woman will make the man go sleep in the guest room, or second bedroom, since he wants to act like they’re roommates.  Once again…I WISH a muhf*cka would.

See, this is the most shortsighted idea ever.  Women work under the assumption that men have no willpower.  My response??

Try me.

No really, try me.

Assume that threatening to send me to the guest room will make me come to my senses.  I’ll be the happiest negro on earth sitting up in there reading comic books, watching videos, and eating bon bons while you wonder why I haven’t come back begging to get into your good graces.

Bottom line here is this; assuming that a man SHOULD pay the entire rent because he is the man is ludicrous.  We shall not be moved.

But, as a bonus, to the women who try this and think its a good idea, I’m going to let you know the third saying that usually ends up being involved in these type of situations.

Ready??

Cool.

The third saying in the black English manual of shit that you say when somebody says something that you can’t believe is this…

“You must got me fucked up!”

Amen.

So what say you good people? Is it fair of the man to have to pay the rent and the women just utilities if you’re living together (not married)? Why or why not?

Talk to me.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. I GOT 5 ON IT aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Today is the last day to donate to the campaign. Although we’ve come to the end of the road, you can still put 5 on it until 4PM EST/1PM PST. Donate here!!

Also make sure you tune into The Blaqout Show tonight from 8-10PM EST at www.blis.fm/theblaqout show as the crew tackles HBCU Homecomings. You know that’s Panama’s specialty. Holla at a playa!

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  • Andre

    I agree 1000% percent!

    • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 Fiveisthenumber

      No shack: love shack, dove shack, etc. only exception…the snack shack in highlands, Texas.

  • hehe

    WTF was your friend thinking. She’s on some bullsh@t!

    • http://www.twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

      +1 this is the textbook definition if some other sh*t

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        LOL

    • Rewind

      Somebody add glowing lights to that font right now

  • Humble_One

    I’ve been in this situation. She was paying $300.00 month. We changed things up and she paid the utilities only. She made more money than me and i still paid more while she paid roughly $300/month and felt she didn’t have to do more. All I can say is fellas if you meet a woman like this run. She has princess tendencies and her father ingrained in her very traditional roles of men. So if you don’t feel (or if it doesn’t make you feel) you’re doing your job as a man by paying the majority leave. Fast. Very fast.

    • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

      Princesses and/or “Daddy’s Girls” are the devil. Entitled ’cause daddy and other dudes fell over backward to get them whatever they pleased. smh Do not walk, run to the nearest exit.

      • Deyana P.

        Don’t blame it on the Daddy’s girls because my father would look at me like i had four horns growing out of my head if I ever said something like this… Then he’d shake his head and ask me if I planned on taking on the domesticated roles associated with being a kept woman? And I’d say hell naw and tap dance out of the room. Moral of the story avoid shacking up so you won’t have to have this conversation and when ish’ goes wrong you can make a clean break!

        • Sweet GA Brown

          Preach!!!

        • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

          ” Then he’d shake his head and ask me if I planned on taking on the domesticated roles associated with being a kept woman?”

          That’s a good point. This whole argument is based on people playing house- acting married when they are not married. I think that line has been blurred because so many couples are living together before marriage these days. I advised mine he wouldn’t get wife treatment until I was a wife but it’s hard toe that line.

          • Sweet GA Brown

            Thats how i feel. I am against shacking up. There are more reasons not to than there are reasons to do it. THe headaches that come with playing husband and wife with restrictions to not acting like husband and wife is a headache that i dont need.

            • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

              I’m not against it. I’ve shacked; have been shacking. For many people it makes sense financially. With that said, I completely understand the argument against it. It does confuse things and it can put people in roles they aren’t ready for.

        • beks

          Amen!

      • Imperfect

        This is not a “Daddy’s girl/princess” issue. I am a Daddy’s girl! And Daddy didn’t raise no fool.
        Daddy also didn’t raise me in a city where rent on a 3 bedroom apartment is $1000…

        • http://twitter.com/inomallday Shamira

          $100?!?! #wheretheydodatat ….man I need to move.

          I went to Atlanta the weekend before last and almost cried at the real estate prices. I need to move back down south ASAP… just as soon as learn how to drive

        • http://www.lyvbh.com Stan

          I wish a three bedroom apartment was only 1000 dollars. In New York, a three bedroom apartment is closer to 2 grand. And that’s if you don’t mind living in a bad neighborhood.

          • Invisible man

            Sheeid 1000$ will get you a studio in the chi

            • http://twitter.com/danchrism Dan

              Sheeeeit, I lived on the north side (Sheridan past Loyola) and paid $850 for a 2-bedroom apt. Only utility I had to pay was electricity which usually hit under $50. Studios near Loyola hit between 450-650. It’s higher in the loop obviously but that’s every downtown ever

              • Black belt jones

                See I stay near downtown..them prices are criminal

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

        i had one of those but her daddy’s and exes were all bums…idk where she got it from too much television or something

    • http://verysmarthbrothas lovejonesin’

      I’m a female and I think it’s interesting when women expect the man to play the traditional role but will ” it’s 2012 a nukka quick” when the roles are reverse. “Selective traditionalism”

  • http://dashwilliams.me/ Dash

    “I expect a man to X” is fast becoming the most dangerous phrase in Negro English. It has now joined “real wo/man” as things that garner an automatic tune out. Was this post inspired by a “New Negro”? I have never encountered anyone who would fix their mouth to expect not to split living expenses while shacking up, unless their were extenuating circumstances that makes one party unable to contribute equally.

    I expect to have the Sheriff place your belongings on the curb if you don’t come with your share of the rent.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      “‘I expect a man to X’ is fast becoming the most dangerous phrase in Negro English. It has now joined “real wo/man” as things that garner an automatic tune out. Was this post inspired by a ‘New Negro’?”

      Hilarious

    • WVBody

      New negro – lol!

      • Britico Chick

        LMAO

    • Rewind

      Can I be there with my camera when the sherriff comes? WorldStarHipHop could always use new reasons to cause laughter.

      • http://dashwilliams.me/ Dash

        Sure I need someone to film her possibly striking me. I am going to take the punch and flop like an NBA player, and sue her for pain and suffering, in addition to the back rent.

    • beks

      LOL. and Yes!

    • KT

      Welp!

  • http://www.twitter.com/pleasefeedthedj ChaoticDiva

    Your message is Diva approved.

    I swear I can’t be the only person that wants to smack the everloving taste out of some of these backwards thinking folks mouthes. You want equal pay and equal treatment in the workplace, but you want to be a queen with a slave at home? Where does that make sense.

    I dunno…it’s the not-so-humble opinion, courtesy of the chick that’s willing to pick up tabs and go dutch with her man.

    • Rewind

      People nitpick at many different views of the world and just take what they like without realizing they come attached with consequences. Which is really irritating because one grown adult should not have to talk reason and logic with another grown adult to get them to wake the fawk up out of their fairy tale dream.

  • Vanity in Peril

    If you’re not the kind to shack up with a person who doesn’t do, say, behave in, cater to, abide by, agree on, consent with… losing my point here… all or any of the things you require out of a partner then you probably aren’t going to shack up with that person anyway. amirite? Unless you’re a glutton for punishment. Or a moron. And you don’t seem to me to be either of those things so then what be the point? Plus why should the husband pay all the rent just because of marriage? That sounds like a whole different ‘wife as property’ discussion I hope VSB never has lest it crash the entire interwebs. Plus marriage is a pyramid scheme anyway. Created by the same sociopaths that trick old people into spending their SS check on scratch offs— for people who read too many of those Juanita Bynum/Joel Osteen hybrid “advice” books.

    • http://www.writerzblockblog.wordpress.com chriscogmta

      did you just call marriage a pyramid scheme!! THAT ish right there is hilarious! Please explain that.

      • Rewind

        She’s got a point. Marriage is a pyramid scheme. I don’t understand why people today forget what marriage was created for. It was a business deal to inherit land and animals for profit. Somewhere down the line, somebody thought “love” would be a good thing to add to that recipe and it has been quite messy ever since. Now some people can make sense of it, but when the federal government has more say about what your marriage means than the two people involved….then that’s not a marriage, that’s just a fawked up deal waiting to go bad.

        • Asiyah

          I haven’t forgotten, which is why I say that love doesn’t pay the bills LOL

    • the spook by the door

      ” Plus why should the husband pay all the rent just because of marriage? That sounds like a whole different ‘wife as property’ discussion I hope VSB never has lest it crash the entire interwebs. Plus marriage is a pyramid scheme anyway. Created by the same sociopaths that trick old people into spending their SS check on scratch offs— for people who read too many of those Juanita Bynum/Joel Osteen hybrid “advice” books.”

      by golly i think she gets it!

    • Justmetheguy

      “Plus why should the husband pay all the rent just because of marriage? That sounds like a whole different ‘wife as property’ discussion I hope VSB never has lest it crash the entire interwebs”

      EXACTLY! You might have the most reasonable comment I’ve see all day (along with the guy “me?”). I can’t understand why I keep seeing people shun this post then say “unless you’re married” or some variation of that. I’m still side-eyeing that idea because marriage doesn’t make me the cash tree. Imo, we split finances AND household duties whether shacked up or married. Anything less would be uncivilized (for me, not necessarily for the rest of you)

      • demondog06

        i’m sayin though, if marraige is supposed to be a equal partnership, then why am i feeling that as the dude i’m gonna be a walking atm machine?

        carrying the burden even if she makes more!? i’m sorry ladies but all of ya’ll that gripe about nyggas not marrying ya’ll, well you don’t make it sound very appealling

    • Marshal

      Another Victory for Universal Common Sense and Hope for Mankind for the Future

      Standing Ovation

  • http://mommaused2say.com Kirsten

    This conversation with your friend deserves a–”Re-Really Bro?!” What the hell kind of math is that? I’m assuming that your friend isn’t “Shacking up” because I don’t know any black man that would allow that ratio to even be brought up in conversation…at least not the ones that I know!

  • iamnotakata

    As much as I hate paying rent, I would feel like an *ss hole if I was living with my boyfriend and he was paying the rent solely by force….now if he offers up this agreement, cool! Otherwise halvsies on everything!

    • SweetSass

      LOL, you’re not greedy but you’re also not stupid!

    • b sweet

      My boyfriend and I just had this discussion a couple of days ago. We are thinking about moving in together and he suggested the exact same thing Panama is speaking to-he takes care of rent, and I pay utilities, groceries, household items, etc. I told him I didn’t think that was fair and he insisted. I have a car and he doesn’t, I pay car note, insurance, gas, maintenance, etc.
      So, per HIS request, that will be our arrangement moving forward. Is it still unfair if the man suggests it?

      • KENYADIGIT

        No not at all. Each relationship is different and you guys have reached an agreement that works for the two of you. What I think is a problem is expecting the other person to fill a role that you made up in you head. As if the other party has no say in the matter. That Princess mentality.

      • ms.tb

        I can’t speak for a man, but as a woman I say he shouldn’t take into account your car and car note…it’s your car. Now the place you’ll BOTH be living in is different.

        Let him buy you gas occassionally if he feels bad about you have car related expenses.

      • Justmetheguy

        Nah, if he suggests it it’s fair. We just have issue with the ones who feel entitled to that type of arrangement.

  • Toria

    If we aren’t married, then we are roommates. Hell, I’m inclined to find a place with separate leases by bedroom. One room is a guest room, but should this not work out, I’m not getting stuck paying all the rent and everything.

    Either way we go halfsies. Either that or if he pays rent, she should pay utilities and food and every outing they go on (including eating out). It *might* equal out then.

    Kinda reminds me of a former friend of mine– her husband made more money than her and put his entire paycheck in their joint account. She put maybe half her paycheck in the joint account. And scolded him for using joint money to pay for clothes, etc. She’s one of those “what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine” types.

    That being said, I don’t expect a man to pay rent on his own. My paycheck will be equal or surpass his 90% of the time. If anything, I’d probably be paying rent/mortgage/whatever on my own when the time comes.

    • me?

      THIS is that BS! “what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine” …

      And he was putting his entire check in the joint account? Sounds like a good guy…shame he hooked up with a selfish fool. All the hard working and fair women in the world…and he stuck with her. Her sexual abilities probably suck silverback balls. Definitely, no pun intended…her favorite line is “I’m a lady…I don’t do things like that”. Tell her I said to kill herself.

      Warm regards,

      Me

      • Toria

        He actually divorced her recently. (Finally!!) Said she wasn’t willing to do anythingggg as far as sex goes. He hadn’t gotten even a glance in a year and a half.

        He’s a good guy too. Shame he wasted all that time with her.

        • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

          I’m shocked, SHOCKED I say, that she was that repressed after the behavior she expressed. Shocked, I say. What, a woman who expects a man to give all with the bills and get upset that he bought clothes with the bills money isn’t going to just bust it wide open in the bedroom? LOL

          • me?

            Bruh…real talk. I’ve found that the TRULY independent ones are the bee’s knees. She wanted a nice house and a M5…she worked for it on her own. She only has time for a gucci bag of tricks that she uses in her sound tight water proof room. So…when you DO run across her…eat your damn wheaties. Because…whoooo shat…their eyes be open but they be caught in a cross eyed ashy lipped speechless turned all the way up haze. Exorcist around? Nothing like watching a bad black woman dehydrate herself. Nothing. I just don’t like luxury vehicles…women with those always turns me off. Get an altima or an accord or a taurus. All that money wasted…

        • Britico Chick

          what was she doing with the other half of her salary? how can she be soooooooooooooooo selfish and still complain when her ex was using the joint account to pay for things they both need? i dont understand such warped people

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      yeah, your homegirls mentality would not work. what i dont understand is how a man marries a woman like that. it aint like you didn’t know she was like that upfront. seems like a total set up to me.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      I don’t understand this anyway. Once you get married, it’s all the same money.

    • Rewind

      Up above, somebody was talking about daddy’s girls and the entitlements they feel they deserve. Your friend’s husband sounds like momma’s good boy…the son who listened to the advice his mom gave him, but didn’t realize that advice worked for her generation (when women weren’t making much money at all), and not his generation (where women’s annual income overlaps men more every year, despite still not being paid equally). We try to do the right thing but don’t realize the advice we’ve lived by has been working against us.

  • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

    First, Panama I did a few LiteraLOL reading this. Second what happened to Independent? How can that even be considered fair? Seriously, I’d love to hear that rationalization.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      hifive.

      and she had no rationalization. that’s just what she felt was and should be the case. basically, she’s doing dude a favor by impacting his life in a positive fashion so it is what it is.

      • Rewind

        Sounds like a woman who was given complete faith about the power of her vagina. And every man has met one. Which is why many of us end up stereotyping women in general so negatively, which is clearly unfair to the women who do no such thing.

    • SweetSass

      Men hate women who are independant… that is what. The golddiggers.. much as ya’ll complain about them… are effective in their hunt for a man.

      • Asiyah

        THANK YOU! Exactly what I was going to say. How many times am I put down by MEN for believing in “halfsies”, telling me some bs about how I don’t know my worth? How many times do I have to hear men b*tch about golddiggers yet they can’t stand the idea of not providing for a woman? GTFOHWBS.

        • Justmetheguy

          I LOVE independent women. Money isn’t what we are exchanging. We’re exchanging emotions, respect, orgasms, and mutual alliance in general. I just don’t like the sass that SOME independent women feel the need to bring with them due to the fact that they’re independent. It’s a basic requirement in my mind so calm down and demonstrate what else you bring to the table besides the ability to not mooch off of me

          • SweetSass

            An independant woman does not have to adhere to the rule that she is meant to be seen and not heard.

            That is the price of admission.

            If you want a woman who CAN walk away from you… because she can take care of herself… you gotta deal with that some shit she says will irk you… same as some shit you do or say irks her.

            You cannot expect to ‘have it all’… everything has a tradeoff.

            A dependant, kept woman knows to keep her mouth shut and her man happy.

            An independant woman will look you in the eye and say, your happiness is a CHOICE.

            • Rewind

              As long as she avids by the same rules you just stated.

              She can’t expect a man to live up her gender roles if she’s not willing to do the same for him. So either respect the individuality or get the fawk out of the way.

              • SweetSass

                Yeah, sometimes you just gotta roll your eyes at what your partner says and let it go. But to expect they will never get uppity with you? Lol.

                • Asiyah

                  LOL word

            • Justmetheguy

              “An independant woman does not have to adhere to the rule that she is meant to be seen and not heard.”

              No, but a person that wants a relationship better take heed to my pet peeves considering I’ll do the same for hers.

              “You cannot expect to ‘have it all’… everything has a tradeoff.”

              Ummm…not sure why that was even brought up. Sometimes it seems like you’re talking to some theoretical man who might feel a certain way, but you post it under my posts as if you’re talking to me…clearly you’re not though cause I haven’t suggested ANYTHING you said. I want an outspoken woman, but being independent is LITERALLY the baseline. It does not earn you the right to be disrespectful. That was my point, and it still is…

            • Britico Chick

              that’s deep – LOL. Sweet Sas, you always have something to say

          • Asiyah

            I doubt this was about me, but I only get sassy when the dude disrespects me for being me. I hope that helps shed some light on these “some”.

            • Justmetheguy

              Yeah, I wasn’t talkin about you at all. You’re like NEVER disrespectful on here, so I can tell you don’t bring sass BASED on the fact that you’re independent. I was referring to those who think their status as independent gives them free reign to be disrespectful. If the man disrespects first then all bets are off

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