Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists, Theory & Essay

overtime pay: the four sexiest professions (according to the champ)

BP_pic2

as the verysmartbrothas continue to prove, sexiness is a gift, but the process of being extremely sexy can be work. its occasionally hard out here for a black blogging pimp and sh*t.

with this in mind, an envious champ has decided to share the four sexiest occupations, jobs where being sexy isn’t hard work at all. enjoy and sh*t

grade school teacher

what separates them from high school teachers and post-secondary professors is the fact that their occupation forces them to be ultra-sensitive, tireless, well-rounded, and flexible, and i assume that this ultra-sensitivity, tirelessness, well-roundedness, and flexibility is applicable in, ummm, other areas.

they also have access to copious amounts of clay, rubber cement, and carbon paper, and we all know what that means.

chemical engineer

does it make you a freak if you have a serious fetish for women rocking hazard goggles, hard hats, pants suits, and heels?

how about if you spent 45 minutes sunday night (unsuccessfully) looking for a screenshot of mia jackson from cnn’s “black in america 2″ in her work gear?

nevermind. don’t answer either of those questions. forget i even asked

yoga instructor

rosa

i know the inclusion of “yoga instructor” on this list is about as predictable as drake’s knees.

i also know that i’ve never actually met a woman who teaches yoga, and no one within my sphere of influence has either.

sh*t, i’m not even completely sure that female yoga instructors or yoga itself actually exists. i live a completely yoga free existence, and i dont see any reason why that would change.

my point? i just needed an excuse to add that rosa acosta pic to this entry.

librarian

like canadians and 40-something strippers, librarians always seem to have a naughty twinkle in their bespectacled eyes.

while the cause of the perpetual eye f*ck could very easily be dust from the 1994 world book encyclopedias they had to archive that morning, i think that they’re spending most of their days sitting there day-dreaming about black cowboys and cocoa butter, and the twinkle is equal parts annoyance at being interrupted, embarrassment at being caught, and invitation.

or, maybe i just watch too much p*rn

enough about me. people of vsb.com, in your opinions, what are the sexiest occupations a person can have and why?

the carpet is yours and sh*t

—the champ


Filed Under:
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://www.passmeashovel.com The Lioness

    May be kinda cliche but I’m partial to firefighters myself- hoses, poles, and riding on big trucks- haha. What’s not to love?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @The Lioness,

      “hoses, poles, and riding on big trucks”

      did you know that this was also the original title of “pretty woman”?

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @The Champ,

        That woulda be hilarious if the infamous theme song from the movie bore the same title.

        Like, imagine Roy Orbison crooning “hoses, poles and riding on big trucks” as Julia Roberts struts down Rodeo Drive. Classic.

      • http://www.passmeashovel.com The Lioness

        @The Champ,

        It came to mind because I just got through watching that episode of My Wife and Kids where Jay tells him she had a fantasy about the firefighter coming in to save her. Classic. Love that show.

  • charli skipper

    -actor

    -lawyer

    ‘nough said.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @charli skipper,

      you know, while i’m not a big fan of lawyer chicks, i will say that a good percentage of them happen to be physically attractive.

      i had a point here, somewhere

      • Deviant

        @The Champ,

        a point can be made that no one cares what a mud duck has to say so what good would an ugly lawyer be?

  • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

    Gymnastics coaches… trust me, I’ve spent time around them. They are undeniable and are of age, unless they are Chinese (think: 2008 Olympics).

    Interns… Need I really explain this?

    Foreign Language Interpreter… what’s better than having someone who can say “Oh My God” in different languages? Idk. *shrugs*

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      @thismayconcernyou,

      “what’s better than having someone who can say “Oh My God” in different languages? ”

      But wouldn’t it totally suck if they started yelling “what the eff are you doing? are you kidding me? Is that supposed to feel good?” in those same six languages?

      • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

        @V.E.G.,

        Hell yes…

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @V.E.G.,

        But wouldn’t it totally suck if they started yelling “what the eff are you doing? are you kidding me? Is that supposed to feel good?” in those same six languages?

        it actually wouldn’t. all foreign tongues are welcome in the sack and sh*t

        • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

          Re: “all foreign tongues are welcome in the sack and sh*t”

          Terminator The Champ, EXCELLENT!

        • 8th Wonder

          @The Champ,

          Domestic tongue is welcome as well.

          Just point of clarification and sh*t.

    • Peysonic Temple

      @thismayconcernyou, I concurs with the ex-gymnast/other language sspeaker. Imagine if you had it wrapped in one

    • Yaa

      @thismayconcernyou, Yeah…I am a sucker for an accent (that reads kinda dirty).

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

    Scientists/Researchers
    Professors

    All that reading, thinking, analyzing makes for an intense person. Intense people folk are usually good in bed.

    Writers.

    Same as above.

    • charli skipper

      @V.E.G.,

      I never really thought about this as it applies to scientists, but your reasoning is so very true. Same reason for my 2 picks.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @V.E.G.,

      All that reading, thinking, analyzing makes for an intense person. Intense people folk are usually good in bed.

      ok. after reading this, i finally understand why michael eric dyson has titled his new book “call me mandingo”

      • http://stickwityocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        @The Champ,

        LMAO. You are in rare form today.

    • Allyse2001

      @V.E.G.,

      Man I feel you on the professors vibe. The knowledge that they think for a living, and the glasses and sweater vests, mmm…intellectualism is sexy. There were sooo many crushes on professors, it’s sad that certain kinds of relationships weren’t aloud :)

  • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

    like canadians and 40-something strippers, librarians always seem to have a naughty twinkle in their bispecticled eyes

    My eyes are bespectacled and Canadian **proudly shows off Canada t-shirt (stretched over impressive rack)** and constantly have that twinkle… or dust… in ‘em.

    And those are the 4 sexiest professions… to you. Well, 3, since you don’t believe yoga even exists (it does, silly).

    I’m co-signing VEG on researchers/scientists (points to self) and engineers. People who study to the level of mastery for their professions tend to study to the level of mastery for a lot of their other “interests”.

    I’ll also take musicians (creative and can make sweet love to my soul), community organizers/non-profit types (word to the POTUS) and men who do physically labor intensive jobs (construction, carpentry etc)– they are always well sculpted, swarthy and **has moment**

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      @blackberry molasses,

      Co-sign the musicians.
      And the community organizers.

      *has flash back…fans self*

      • http://farm1.static.flickr.com/72/180085824_30b0d1c4d1.jpg overitinNYC

        @V.E.G., And the community organizers

        that’s me! hayyyy, but tell me why i read that as “And the communists” at first. I need help.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @overitinNYC,

          i think your community organizing career needs a community full of more people

          • overit?

            @The Champ, i think your community organizing career needs a community full of more people

            LOL. if i had a dollar for every hater.

  • http://www.blacknbougie.com OneChele

    Okay, I’ll go for the obvious…
    1) Personal Trainer, ya know they train bodies to uh – do stuff better
    2) Brick layer/Pipe Layer/Power Driller – the titles tell the tale. They do work
    3) Writers, all that creativity
    4) Chefs, a man who can cook is sexy. I mean, sexxxy.

    • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

      @OneChele,

      Your No. 3 just made my night. lol. I can rest peacefully knowing that I’m in a sexy profession …

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      @OneChele,

      “Chefs, a man who can cook is sexy. I mean, sexxxy.”

      Yes but not the really, really, really heavy ones. :(

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @OneChele,

      2) Brick layer/Pipe Layer/Power Driller – the titles tell the tale. They do work

      i wonder how far you can go with double entendre profession titles.

      i can think of seven off the top of my head (maintenance man, steamfitter, pipefitter, firehose man, plumber, well-driller, rifleman)

  • nikki87

    dancers…they’re very sexual + who could resist a dancer’s body? swimming instructors…wet, topless, flexing muscles…yumm.

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      @nikki87,

      “dancers…they’re very sexual + who could resist a dancer’s body? ”

      Ya know. As gay (NTTAWWT) as Leroy from FAME was, his body was that bizness.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptdFmEO4Md0

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @nikki87,

      “wet, topless, flexing muscles”

      ***filed under “statements that unfortunately make me think of wnba locker rooms”***

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @The Champ,

        LMFAO @ “unfortunately”.

  • overitlovesmondays

    I have to agree with teacher. A male elementary school teacher? Sigh, you KNOW he’s gonna be a good daddy, lool. The guy who coaches a team, or mentors youth on the side also applies.

    Firefighters: I’ve always loved them, and as typical as the whole kitten rescuing scenario is, I saw it as a kid lol. On a more serious tip, among the many vivid and heartbreaking images of 9/11 is that of the selfless firefighters covered in dust, etc…how can you not love a person who chose such a self-less profession?

    Construction workers: They just work hard, and I respect it. Plus, their whole workday helps them look like The Rock.

    *Academics/Professor: This means he reads, and you will never run out of things to discuss, and overit likes to discuss. Everything.

    Artists: All kinds, though I’m partial to the writers. Poets, playwrights, because this means they also read, and are creative:) Also, I know artists don’t make no kinda money, it could be a hobby.

    Self made businessman: If you’re walking around on that ‘I’m not a businessman, I’m a business tip, it shows initiative, drive, and passion. Passion rocks.

    A former marine. I say former because I often can’t reconcile foreign policy and my beliefs, but if he saw the error of his ways (lol) and stayed working on his fitness, holla. Besides, I’m sure they keep the uniforms. I’d make him wear them on Wednesdays.

    Environmental Policy buffs: No reason.

    Architects: No reason.

    That’s all for now:)

    Not the mad scientist, lost in their own theory types.

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      @overitlovesmondays,

      Overit…what is it about Mondays that you love? lol.

      Secondly, I dated a former marine for two and a half years. He was as sexy as all get out. lol.

      Marines are hard core (and a bit crazy, lol). This guy didn’t necessarily learn the error of his ways, lol, but he did maintain his fitness level (he participated in 7 and 10 day long adventure races (yes. he was black!)…how sexy is THAT?) and he did put on his marine corp jacket from time to time. :)

      • Leila

        @V.E.G., “Marines are hard core (and a bit crazy, lol).”

        I co-sign, especially on the crazy part. I had a terrible experience with a Marine (very sexy but *crazy*). He was very well-mannered and polite, but the more that I got to know, the crazier that he got. It’s turned me off completely from all Marines.

      • http://farm1.static.flickr.com/72/180085824_30b0d1c4d1.jpg overitinNYC

        @V.E.G., Overit…what is it about Mondays that you love? lol.

        Behold the Power Of Positive Thinking.

        (((GONG)))

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      @overitlovesmondays,
      “A former marine”

      marines scare me, but I can see the Army or the Navy.

      • http://farm1.static.flickr.com/72/180085824_30b0d1c4d1.jpg overitinNYC

        @Nicki Sunshine, yeah, i really meant all of them, and marines are the most crazy, not sure why.

        • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

          @overitinNYC, Someone told me because they are trained to KILL, no questions asked.

          • http://stickwityocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

            @Nicki Sunshine,

            “because they are trained to KILL, no questions asked.”

            pretty much

      • http://mysixcents.wordpress.com klysha

        @Nicki Sunshine, just so happens that my best *experience* in recent memory was with a guy who’s in the Navy…. so Naval Officer has to go somewhere on my list….there must be something about spending all that time on the ocean

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @klysha,

          there must be something about spending all that time on the ocean

          lol, obviously you’ve never read “billy budd”

        • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

          @klysha, “there must be something about spending all that time on the ocean”

          The motion is in the ocean girl. lol

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @Nicki Sunshine,

        Oh yeah, The Navy. Forgot to add that too. My daddy was in The Navy so naturally Imma be attracted to them young fellas who swarm around the pier (Navy Pier in Chicago). And dem suits don’t help me from eye-f*cking them, either. WOW…

        Also, they’re some of the best flirts! lol

        • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

          @Cheekie, “And dem suits don’t help me from eye-f*cking them, either. ”

          LMBO. I heart you for that phrase. I am going to have to use it.

  • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

    Ironically enough, I was just watching that last little segment of BIA2 with her in that MLT program today. Yeah, definitely a bad one…there were a few up in that program. I know this electrical engineer I tried a shot at…too bad she was roommates with a chick I tried to talk up before her.

    Right off top, another sexy profession I know, though obvious, is doing commercials. This whole decade, the sisters in commercials have been some cutie PIES…and have even been coming with less European looking hairstyles.

    When you were in high school, you couldn’t say that Hot Dog On A Stick wasn’t where some freaks worked.

    And oh yeah, the ladies talking about concept cars at the auto show. It’s like she’s inviting me in for a ride….. :)~

    More in the morning.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Stuff Ghetto People Like,

      This whole decade, the sisters in commercials have been some cutie PIES…and have even been coming with less European looking hairstyles.

      this is true. they’ve definitely upgraded the “black chicks in commercials” game. before they’d all look like giancarlo esposito

      • miss t-lee

        @The Champ,
        “giancarlo esposito”

        _____________________

      • Smiley Face

        @The Champ,

        “before they’d all look like giancarlo esposito”

        mmaaannn…you got to warn folk before you say stuff like this!! LOL!! *choking*

  • Imperfect

    Garbage men. Sanitation workers. Whatever they call themselves. Maybe it’s just my former garbage man…FINE!

    Writers. Love the imagination

    Middle-aged college professors. I’ve always imagined seducing myself a 4.0. Never happened

    Doctors. More specifically, surgeons. Somethin about a man who literally knows his way around the body. Talk physiology to me and I’m all yours

    • Wanjiru

      @Imperfect,

      Re sanitation workers, I just pictured Roc in my mind… does he count too?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Imperfect,

      Talk physiology to me and I’m all yours

      ***making sure to hit imperfect with his best medulla oblongata pick-up line at the vsb bbq on mars***

      • overit?

        @The Champ, ***making sure to hit imperfect with his best medulla oblongata pick-up line at the vsb bbq on mars***

        LMAO @ the thought of Imperfect being a dude. Go ‘head on Champ, ha!