Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists, Theory & Essay

overtime pay: the four sexiest professions (according to the champ)

BP_pic2

as the verysmartbrothas continue to prove, sexiness is a gift, but the process of being extremely sexy can be work. its occasionally hard out here for a black blogging pimp and sh*t.

with this in mind, an envious champ has decided to share the four sexiest occupations, jobs where being sexy isn’t hard work at all. enjoy and sh*t

grade school teacher

what separates them from high school teachers and post-secondary professors is the fact that their occupation forces them to be ultra-sensitive, tireless, well-rounded, and flexible, and i assume that this ultra-sensitivity, tirelessness, well-roundedness, and flexibility is applicable in, ummm, other areas.

they also have access to copious amounts of clay, rubber cement, and carbon paper, and we all know what that means.

chemical engineer

does it make you a freak if you have a serious fetish for women rocking hazard goggles, hard hats, pants suits, and heels?

how about if you spent 45 minutes sunday night (unsuccessfully) looking for a screenshot of mia jackson from cnn’s “black in america 2″ in her work gear?

nevermind. don’t answer either of those questions. forget i even asked

yoga instructor

rosa

i know the inclusion of “yoga instructor” on this list is about as predictable as drake’s knees.

i also know that i’ve never actually met a woman who teaches yoga, and no one within my sphere of influence has either.

sh*t, i’m not even completely sure that female yoga instructors or yoga itself actually exists. i live a completely yoga free existence, and i dont see any reason why that would change.

my point? i just needed an excuse to add that rosa acosta pic to this entry.

librarian

like canadians and 40-something strippers, librarians always seem to have a naughty twinkle in their bespectacled eyes.

while the cause of the perpetual eye f*ck could very easily be dust from the 1994 world book encyclopedias they had to archive that morning, i think that they’re spending most of their days sitting there day-dreaming about black cowboys and cocoa butter, and the twinkle is equal parts annoyance at being interrupted, embarrassment at being caught, and invitation.

or, maybe i just watch too much p*rn

enough about me. people of vsb.com, in your opinions, what are the sexiest occupations a person can have and why?

the carpet is yours and sh*t

—the champ


Filed Under:
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't.

  • http://www.passmeashovel.com The Lioness

    May be kinda cliche but I’m partial to firefighters myself- hoses, poles, and riding on big trucks- haha. What’s not to love?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @The Lioness,

      “hoses, poles, and riding on big trucks”

      did you know that this was also the original title of “pretty woman”?

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @The Champ,

        That woulda be hilarious if the infamous theme song from the movie bore the same title.

        Like, imagine Roy Orbison crooning “hoses, poles and riding on big trucks” as Julia Roberts struts down Rodeo Drive. Classic.

      • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @The Champ,

        That woulda be hilarious if the infamous theme song from the movie bore the same title.

        Like, imagine Roy Orbison crooning “hoses, poles and riding on big trucks” as Julia Roberts struts down Rodeo Drive. Classic.

      • http://www.passmeashovel.com The Lioness

        @The Champ,

        It came to mind because I just got through watching that episode of My Wife and Kids where Jay tells him she had a fantasy about the firefighter coming in to save her. Classic. Love that show.

      • http://www.passmeashovel.com The Lioness

        @The Champ,

        It came to mind because I just got through watching that episode of My Wife and Kids where Jay tells him she had a fantasy about the firefighter coming in to save her. Classic. Love that show.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @The Lioness,

      “hoses, poles, and riding on big trucks”

      did you know that this was also the original title of “pretty woman”?

  • http://www.passmeashovel.com The Lioness

    May be kinda cliche but I’m partial to firefighters myself- hoses, poles, and riding on big trucks- haha. What’s not to love?

  • charli skipper

    -actor

    -lawyer

    ‘nough said.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @charli skipper,

      you know, while i’m not a big fan of lawyer chicks, i will say that a good percentage of them happen to be physically attractive.

      i had a point here, somewhere

      • Deviant

        @The Champ,

        a point can be made that no one cares what a mud duck has to say so what good would an ugly lawyer be?

      • Deviant

        @The Champ,

        a point can be made that no one cares what a mud duck has to say so what good would an ugly lawyer be?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @charli skipper,

      you know, while i’m not a big fan of lawyer chicks, i will say that a good percentage of them happen to be physically attractive.

      i had a point here, somewhere

  • charli skipper

    -actor

    -lawyer

    ‘nough said.

  • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

    Gymnastics coaches… trust me, I’ve spent time around them. They are undeniable and are of age, unless they are Chinese (think: 2008 Olympics).

    Interns… Need I really explain this?

    Foreign Language Interpreter… what’s better than having someone who can say “Oh My God” in different languages? Idk. *shrugs*

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      @thismayconcernyou,

      “what’s better than having someone who can say “Oh My God” in different languages? ”

      But wouldn’t it totally suck if they started yelling “what the eff are you doing? are you kidding me? Is that supposed to feel good?” in those same six languages?

      • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

        @V.E.G.,

        Hell yes…

      • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

        @V.E.G.,

        Hell yes…

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @V.E.G.,

        But wouldn’t it totally suck if they started yelling “what the eff are you doing? are you kidding me? Is that supposed to feel good?” in those same six languages?

        it actually wouldn’t. all foreign tongues are welcome in the sack and sh*t

        • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

          Re: “all foreign tongues are welcome in the sack and sh*t”

          Terminator The Champ, EXCELLENT!

        • http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com Stuff Ghetto People Like

          Re: “all foreign tongues are welcome in the sack and sh*t”

          Terminator The Champ, EXCELLENT!

        • 8th Wonder

          @The Champ,

          Domestic tongue is welcome as well.

          Just point of clarification and sh*t.

        • 8th Wonder

          @The Champ,

          Domestic tongue is welcome as well.

          Just point of clarification and sh*t.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @V.E.G.,

        But wouldn’t it totally suck if they started yelling “what the eff are you doing? are you kidding me? Is that supposed to feel good?” in those same six languages?

        it actually wouldn’t. all foreign tongues are welcome in the sack and sh*t

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      @thismayconcernyou,

      “what’s better than having someone who can say “Oh My God” in different languages? ”

      But wouldn’t it totally suck if they started yelling “what the eff are you doing? are you kidding me? Is that supposed to feel good?” in those same six languages?

    • Peysonic Temple

      @thismayconcernyou, I concurs with the ex-gymnast/other language sspeaker. Imagine if you had it wrapped in one

    • Peysonic Temple

      @thismayconcernyou, I concurs with the ex-gymnast/other language sspeaker. Imagine if you had it wrapped in one

    • Yaa

      @thismayconcernyou, Yeah…I am a sucker for an accent (that reads kinda dirty).

    • Yaa

      @thismayconcernyou, Yeah…I am a sucker for an accent (that reads kinda dirty).

  • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

    Gymnastics coaches… trust me, I’ve spent time around them. They are undeniable and are of age, unless they are Chinese (think: 2008 Olympics).

    Interns… Need I really explain this?

    Foreign Language Interpreter… what’s better than having someone who can say “Oh My God” in different languages? Idk. *shrugs*

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

    Scientists/Researchers
    Professors

    All that reading, thinking, analyzing makes for an intense person. Intense people folk are usually good in bed.

    Writers.

    Same as above.

    • charli skipper

      @V.E.G.,

      I never really thought about this as it applies to scientists, but your reasoning is so very true. Same reason for my 2 picks.

    • charli skipper

      @V.E.G.,

      I never really thought about this as it applies to scientists, but your reasoning is so very true. Same reason for my 2 picks.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @V.E.G.,

      All that reading, thinking, analyzing makes for an intense person. Intense people folk are usually good in bed.

      ok. after reading this, i finally understand why michael eric dyson has titled his new book “call me mandingo”

      • http://stickwityocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        @The Champ,

        LMAO. You are in rare form today.

      • http://stickwityocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        @The Champ,

        LMAO. You are in rare form today.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @V.E.G.,

      All that reading, thinking, analyzing makes for an intense person. Intense people folk are usually good in bed.

      ok. after reading this, i finally understand why michael eric dyson has titled his new book “call me mandingo”

    • Allyse2001

      @V.E.G.,

      Man I feel you on the professors vibe. The knowledge that they think for a living, and the glasses and sweater vests, mmm…intellectualism is sexy. There were sooo many crushes on professors, it’s sad that certain kinds of relationships weren’t aloud :)

    • Allyse2001

      @V.E.G.,

      Man I feel you on the professors vibe. The knowledge that they think for a living, and the glasses and sweater vests, mmm…intellectualism is sexy. There were sooo many crushes on professors, it’s sad that certain kinds of relationships weren’t aloud :)

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

    Scientists/Researchers
    Professors

    All that reading, thinking, analyzing makes for an intense person. Intense people folk are usually good in bed.

    Writers.

    Same as above.

  • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

    like canadians and 40-something strippers, librarians always seem to have a naughty twinkle in their bispecticled eyes

    My eyes are bespectacled and Canadian **proudly shows off Canada t-shirt (stretched over impressive rack)** and constantly have that twinkle… or dust… in ’em.

    And those are the 4 sexiest professions… to you. Well, 3, since you don’t believe yoga even exists (it does, silly).

    I’m co-signing VEG on researchers/scientists (points to self) and engineers. People who study to the level of mastery for their professions tend to study to the level of mastery for a lot of their other “interests”.

    I’ll also take musicians (creative and can make sweet love to my soul), community organizers/non-profit types (word to the POTUS) and men who do physically labor intensive jobs (construction, carpentry etc)– they are always well sculpted, swarthy and **has moment**

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      @blackberry molasses,

      Co-sign the musicians.
      And the community organizers.

      *has flash back…fans self*

      • http://farm1.static.flickr.com/72/180085824_30b0d1c4d1.jpg overitinNYC

        @V.E.G., And the community organizers

        that’s me! hayyyy, but tell me why i read that as “And the communists” at first. I need help.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @overitinNYC,

          i think your community organizing career needs a community full of more people

          • overit?

            @The Champ, i think your community organizing career needs a community full of more people

            LOL. if i had a dollar for every hater.

          • overit?

            @The Champ, i think your community organizing career needs a community full of more people

            LOL. if i had a dollar for every hater.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @overitinNYC,

          i think your community organizing career needs a community full of more people

      • http://farm1.static.flickr.com/72/180085824_30b0d1c4d1.jpg overitinNYC

        @V.E.G., And the community organizers

        that’s me! hayyyy, but tell me why i read that as “And the communists” at first. I need help.

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      @blackberry molasses,

      Co-sign the musicians.
      And the community organizers.

      *has flash back…fans self*

  • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com blackberry molasses

    like canadians and 40-something strippers, librarians always seem to have a naughty twinkle in their bispecticled eyes

    My eyes are bespectacled and Canadian **proudly shows off Canada t-shirt (stretched over impressive rack)** and constantly have that twinkle… or dust… in ’em.

    And those are the 4 sexiest professions… to you. Well, 3, since you don’t believe yoga even exists (it does, silly).

    I’m co-signing VEG on researchers/scientists (points to self) and engineers. People who study to the level of mastery for their professions tend to study to the level of mastery for a lot of their other “interests”.

    I’ll also take musicians (creative and can make sweet love to my soul), community organizers/non-profit types (word to the POTUS) and men who do physically labor intensive jobs (construction, carpentry etc)– they are always well sculpted, swarthy and **has moment**

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