Lists, Pop Culture

I Don’t Do Lines And Other Sh*t Women Don’t Do

"Man, this line is some bullsh*t. I wish I knew somebody..."

“Wait, there’s gonna be a line? I don’t do lines…”

That is an excerpt from a conversation I had this evening regarding tomorrow night’s Election Night Watch Party being hosted by various organizations (including VSB) in Washington, DC. But in truth, you can hear that refrain nearly every Friday and Saturday night and possibly some Sunday mornings – hey man, churches are turning into the club – across (Black) America. (I’m not sure how white America feels about clubs and lines, but since it seems that nobody even pays to get into white clubs I can imagine that standing in line for two minutes isn’t that big of a deal).

I’ve always found women’s aversion to lines to be somewhat comical. Obviously I get it. I hate lines too. Plus, it always seems like the VIPs laugh at you as they walk right into the club and past the medal detectors and invasive hands of large men who topped out in college. And somebody who’s transcended the ranks into one of those VIP who pretty much walks into whatever club he’s entering…I can confirm it, I do laugh. I also cry for Argentina, but shhhhhh…don’t tell mom the babysitter’s dead.

But I find the aversion comical because I swear you’ll see a woman stand outside for 45 minutes attempting to bypass the line on principle alone (you know, because they don’t do lines) when in truth, standing in line would have taken all of 10 minutes. So it’s not the waiting that’s the problem. It’s the line. Women will hurry up and wait for all types of sh*t. And again, I don’t like lines either, but I respect order and realize that sometimes you have to stand in line to get the things you want. And you know what, it’s okay. It’s just a line. And yet, so many women I know – all seemingly of some sort of importance level though let’s be real, it definitely varies – just don’t do lines.

And of those women that don’t do lines, I’ll admit to never having seen most of them ever actually stand in one either. To be fair, I HAVE seen them stand outside waiting for somebody to let them walk into a club or venue for an extended period of time. Do with that what you will…but hey, they didn’t stand in a line! So this got me to thinking about other sh*t women won’t do…unless….

Wait. Wha?

Oh, yeah. See none of these women “do lines” but I’ll be they’ll be standing in line like a Kim Kardashian at a slave auction tomorrow to vote. Which, ya know, is a total copout.

Anyway, here are some other things women just don’t do…

1. Polyester

I know so many women who swear they don’t do polyester…while wearing it. Y’all know good and damn well those thongs y’all wear to the club you don’t stand in line for are flammable like a mug. I saw a woman go up in flames once because a dude lit a match on her rear. Damn shame too…she was almost to the end of the line. Terrible what they did that dog though.

2. Cats

Champ (and myself actually) may be the only admitted cat lovers, or at least tolerators, in Black America. But riddle me this Batman, why do so many women view cats as sinister bastions of pure evil. Ridiculous as it sounds, I’m not making that up. I can think of seven women off the top of my head (Lisa, Pamela, Angela, Sofia, Rose, and Blanche) who just do not f*ck with cats. They think they are living carrying cases for the evil spirits of Mumra and Imhotep.

3. Heineken

I’m not much of a beer drinker but I will have a Heineken on occasion. I cannot TELL you how judged I feel when I order a Heineken around women that read. I’ve been told to stop drinking that piss water and get me a real beer. Can’t lie, that hurt. But y’all don’t know WHY I drink them. A long time ago, I was drunk off my derriere. Well, the bartender – one of my homeboys, like Jesus – handed me a Heineken and I swear it took the edge completely off and quickly. I was amazed at the healing power of the Heiny. Anyway, when women see you drinking a Heineken, I’m thinking they’re judging.

4. Sappy men

Despite loving every sappy ass romantic comedy known to man. Women hate dudes who are emo, unless it’s their man who exhibits emo traits towards them. It’s the proverbial NIMBY except reversed so its more like OIMBY…which I’m pretty sure is a pun.  Which is reminiscent of…

5. Bad poetry

Despite loving Love Jones. Yeah I said it.

WHAT!?!?!?! OBAMA!?!?!?!? PANAMA !?!??!? WHY ARE WE HERE!??!?!?!?

Baron Zen for the win.

Anyway, what are other things that women don’t do, even though they totally do them? And what are things that men don’t do, even though we totally do them?

HAPPY VOTING DAY!!!!! CAST THAT BALLOT! BIA BIA.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. DON’T BLAME ME, I DIDN’T DO IT aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is a co-founder of VSB and co-author of Your Degrees Won't Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide to Dating, Mating, and Fighting Crime. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    #1 I hate lines, because my dad told me not to wait in long lines because I could get mugged. He’s from Brooklyn. Not cute lil hipster Brooklyn, 1950s rob a child a knifepoint (that happened) Brooklyn. I ‘do’ lines, but they make me nervous. And I might shank a b*tch in the TSA line

    #2 Women don’t admit to liking cats only if they fear the single cat lady stereotype. And if they value their furniture

    #3 I’m not a beer drinker, but I still manage to be a beer snob. I’m here for men who drink microbrews, not Coors light, Budweiser, etc

    #4 I like a LITTLE sappiness. Just have some balls

    #5 Nothing is worse than having to go to a poetry slam. I hate the faux Erykah Badu circa 1998 chicks who try to be deep and I’m scared I might bust out laughing.

    • Asiyah

      I am definitely going to be that single cat lady. Makes being single forever easier lol

      • http://www.twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

        I’m single and love cats. The animal not the musical. Since my housing situation doesn’t allow it no kitty this year. Didn’t know why people stigmatized women with cats till I had to live with a girl who had two. Never ever ever again.

      • kid video

        single cat lady

        This always makes me think about The Simpsons…

        somebody pull up some youtube clips…im busy being lazy.

        • kid video

          Im okay with cats(dont care to own one), but i love Eartha Kitt…

          #irony?

        • annaaaa
          • kid video

            Thx and chit…

        • Medium Meech

          That lady from the Simpson’s shoudl have been on the cover of “Your degrees wont keep you warm at night”. Apparently she had Harvard Law and medical degree….

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      “#3 I’m not a beer drinker, but I still manage to be a beer snob. I’m here for men who drink microbrews, not Coors light, Budweiser, etc.”

      She dissed Budweiser- boo this woman!

      • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

        I know right. Pure d communism.

    • msdebbs

      “#4 I like a LITTLE sappiness. Just have some balls”

      YEAS Honey!

    • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

      Lol@#5

    • Geneva Girl

      #2 nailed it on the head. You don’t want to be a single woman with a cat. Dogs are cool because you have to walk them and you may run into a potential, dog-loving boyfriend.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I’m such a non-beer snob I don’t even know what microbrew means. If it aint in the aisle at my Giant, I aint drinkin it.

    • http://www.twitter.com/epsilonicus Eps

      Microbrews for life!!!!

  • Asiyah

    Um…cats are AWESOME! I am a girl and I think cats are great judges of character. This cat-ism must stop!

    I hate lines tho

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      Cats are not great judges of character. They have sh*tty personalities and only like you if you have something for them. Trust me, I used to be a cat owner, LOL!

      • Asiyah

        So then cats are like people lol

        I had a roommate who ended up doing me dirty. My cat hated him! Moment he moved in, he peed on his pillow. Did this often. Months later, the jerk did what he did. My cat sensed he was messed up lol

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          That cat was possessed I tell ya, LMAO!

          • Asiyah

            So was the roommate lol

    • chameleonic

      word! ive never met a mean cat in my life and the one cat i really spent time around practically treated me like its animal buddy.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I like cats b/c cats are like people. Namely women people. You know, they want attention when they want it and if you don’t give it to them they slash your sh*t.

      They’re basically starter wives.

      • Asiyah

        In my case, starter children

    • Medium Meech

      I like cats. Cats have some qualities I want in a woman. Self reliant and not high maintenance. And when a cat likes you, you know it’s because of you and not just that you are the nearest warm body. Dogs are emotional sluts with daddy issues and b*tches for moms.

      • Angel Baby

        Well d**n! LOL

      • Asiyah

        I totally agree, Meech!

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

    From my personal experience, I find that women do NOT do the following:

    Spiders (Put one next to a woman -real or fake- and watch their reaction. Ask me how I know…)

    Underground hip hop (Nicki Minaj? Yes! Rapsody? Not so much…)

    Lifting heavy stuff (Ever seen a woman move a couch, a refrigerator or crates of vinyl? When push comes to shove, they almost always call a dude to do these things).

    Big dogs (Any dog that weighs over ten pounds usually has women make the Derek Zoolander face).

    • The F.acially U.nappealing C.hicago K.id?

      “Spiders”

      Not gonna lie, I have severe arachnaphobia. The only spider I can tolerate, ironically, is the turantula one of the biggest spiders. But I HATE them. If I see one in the house, I will go into full on bloodlust mode and won’t eat or sleep until I kill it.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        At least you’ll take the initiative to kill them. Everyone else will run and scream until they find someone else to do it, LMAO!

        • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 Fiveisthenumber

          Spiders are my kryptonite; while I heroically stomp them, inside I’m screaming like a lil ol’ beyotch…

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            Damn, LOL!

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            that’s real. im like that too. i only kill them b/c they must die, not b/c i want to.

          • YeahSo

            lol

    • Yoles

      I am a certified dog lover and I don’t believe in those little as$ fake dogs!!! Tea cups, Toys etc are overgrown rats NOT dogs… I’m partial to the northern breeds myself- husky, malamute, akita, timberwolf, eskimo snow dog etc… If it ain’t over 20lbs its NOT a dog…

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        I never understood the fascination with little dogs. In Auburn, they are pretty common around here. So much so, most of the apartments are pet friendly…well, almost. They allow you to keep them in certain places, but in the end it’s not worth it because it’s like you’re paying rent for an extra mouth to feed that doesn’t do anything, LOL!

      • Angel Baby

        Exactly what I’ve been saying! I just don’t want to pick up a “real” dog’s poop…But preach!

      • Stephy

        You forgot Newfie!!!!

      • Brother Mouzone

        A woman after my own heart…#BIGDOGSRULE!

    • nillalatte

      What guys on here didn’t do spiders? I think Panama and TUK both! Where were you when I was sharing my stories of being a spider killer while my kids did running in place? Yes, I will jump, but I will also kill them.

      True story doe. When I was little I knew my mom had this terrible fear of spiders (any kind of bug actually). It was around Halloween and I had a spider ring. She was baking something in the oven and put the spider ring hooked around the oven door. She came around the corner gonna open the oven door, saw the ‘spider’ on the handle, screamed and ran. I DIED laughing. I think I was about 8 at the time. I damn near didn’t make it to 9. LOL

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        I’m surprised that you lived to even tell this story, LMAO!

      • Londa

        The kid in me laughed until tears rolled down my cheeks. The mom in me wanted to whoop your behind. I’m still laughing, so I guess the kid in me won this battle.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        you ma’am are a bad person.

    • Asiyah

      I like spiders! Even have one tattooed on my back.

      • The F.acially U.nappealing C.hicago K.id?

        Dammit! No Doggystyle for you….

        • Asiyah

          LOL actually, the opposite. Guys seem to love that tattoo.

          • Sweet GA Brown

            Speaking of spider tattoos, what does the spiderweb on the elbow mean?

            • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

              From my understanding, it’s some old Aryan Brotherhood sh*t.

              • Asiyah

                Really? I’ve seen too many Mexicans with that too, and one Russian Jew.

                • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                  what, Mexicans cant be Aryans?

                  • Asiyah

                    No lol, especially not the ones that I know who have that tattoo

        • Asiyah

          You will love it too!!!

          • The F.acially U.nappealing C.hicago K.id?

            Well, I guess it can be a pretty creative way to overcome arachnaphobia. Having enough focus to maintain my stroke while I’m looking at a spider. Hmmm, I think you’re on to something #vsbafterdark

            • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

              I heard something very interesting about spiders. Most humans eat at least a few spiders while sleeping, during their lives.

              • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 Fiveisthenumber

                *charleston Heston Planet of the Apes Voice* Damn you to he’ll for that useless knowledge! *shudder*

              • Sweet GA Brown

                Yeah this guy told me humans eat a average of 7 spiders per year while sleeping.

              • CNotes

                *gags*

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                yeah me too. i think the average human eats 8 spiders while sleeping.

              • Gabs

                #chicago kid drops dead# at this one lol

            • kid video

              creative way to overcome arachnaphobia

              Make sure you get a rolled-up newspaper, in case you have a panic attack.

              haha…

    • msdebbs

      Spiders are the devil
      underground hip hop is boring
      women aren’t built for heavy lifting
      any dog over 10 pounds might as well be a horse…ijs

      • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

        I agree about underground hip hop. As for dogs; I feel all dogs under 10 pounds may as well be rats. :-)

        • Yoles

          Cosign

        • Angel Baby

          Agreed!

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        “underground hip hop is boring”

        I take it you love 2 Chainz- if so, then this is for you…

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y34jC4I1m70

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          is it me or was the 2 chainz hype way more exciting when he didnt have a terrible album out? now he’s just exhausting and i’m over it.

          2 CHAINZ.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            That’s the Def Jam marketing plan, LOL!

          • http://www.todisspits.blogspot.com MicTheMessenger

            What made me mad was that he SWORE he was bout to make a classic album.

            That shit was a classic waste of resources.

      • kid video

        underground hip hop is boring

        So…i guess i wont see you at the Slaugterhouse concert doing the Hammer Dance.

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          …And two steppin’ with her weapon on her.
          See what I did there?

          • kid video

            Word.

      • Medium Meech

        I don’t mind spiders at all. Cock roaches make my flesh crawl and turn me into white chick in a scary movie on the inside.

    • Geneva Girl

      I’m a woman and I have, in fact, moved a couch, a refrigerator and crates of vinyl, and cussed like a sailor while doing so.

      • kid video

        Didnt i see you @ Shadow and Act a few days ago?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      No dis, but Rhapsody ain’t that hot anyway so I cant blame anybody for not liking her. But in her defense, I dont like anybody whose whole schtick is rapping about rapping.

      Black Ty, I’m looking at you.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        But…but…but…she’s a B-Girl. It’s culture over everything for her! At least give her that respect, Panama!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          but she’s not fun or interesting to listen to. even sounds like she gets the throwaway 9th wonder beats (which all sound throwaway nowadays to tell the truth)

          • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

            Is she the girl who rapped on the interludes on Dream Merchant? 9th hasn’t made my head nod since Murray’s Revenge.

            • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

              Yep. He changed his sound a great deal since then. His drums sound a lot less stiff. In fact, he produced this song off Rapsody’s new album believe it or not:

              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_eO3ytC-BU

    • Stephy

      All of this is wrong. I’d rather not be around spiders, but I am not scared of them. Even though it has been a while, underground/indie is the only hip hop I listen to. I moved my entire apartment by myself. As a cat mom, I find no point in little dogs. Breed of choice: Newfoundland Dog. Where the heck did your sample pool come from?

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        You’re only talking about youself though…you’re only one person, not a collective group, as this post pertains to.

  • The F.acially U.nappealing C.hicago K.id?

    As far as things heterosexual men don’t/semi do:

    1. Tell an attractive man that he’s…well…attractive. Oh sure, we’ll point out an article of clothing and compliment you for wearing it, basically complimenting your STYLE, but not YOU. So we’ll say, “Aaaahaha, I see you, boi! Rockin them new Jordans!”, but we’ll never say, “Aye bruh…you look DASHING!!! Your eyes are captivating and I like how we can see a hint of ab through that shirt!!!”

    2. Play R&B music in a car/room full of dudes.

    3. Don’t go to the bathroom together. What we got to talk about ain’t that important. It can wait.

    4. However, if you so happen to be in the bathroom simultaneously, when using the urinal, skip one. No meat peaping.

    5. Compare peens. No, I’m not talking through sports or anything of competitive nature. I’m talking about ACTUALLY, physically comparing peens. Like, I’ve seen plenty of women casually grab/poke at their friends’ breasts and compliment/joke about their sizes. No man is to grab another man’s bulge. Ever.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      “2. Play R&B music in a car/room full of dudes”

      If it’s R&B from the 70′s and 80′s, then it’s acceptable. Also, the age of the dudes plays a very imporetant factor. If they are 30-plus, then they will probably do it with no problem. Cats in their teens and 20′s? Out of the question.

      • kid video

        The “Superfly” sdtk in a room of 30+ dudes…

        one helluva smoke/cards/chit talking session.

        • kid video

          30+ dudes…age wise.

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          Don’t forget to throw in some Parliament, Johnny “Guitar” Watson and James Brown.

          • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 Fiveisthenumber

            Alladis! +5

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com Tristan

        my boys scooped me up from work bumpin the weeknd once…you barely understand half the ish he says unless you got headphones anyway so it was just tripped out background music and we were on our way to meet up with these girls so it kinda cancelled out

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          I still don’t get The Weeknd personally. I mean I heard his music, but nothing sticks out to me.

          • mena

            Me neither. Stringing non coherent phrases together does not equal profound lyricism. It does equal “i smoked too much, put some thoughts together be/c they sounded wonderful while i was stoned so let me sing this in a high pitch and place it on an album” though.

            • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

              “Stringing non coherent phrases together does not equal profound lyricism.”

              The discographies of Ghostface Killah, Ol’ Dirty Bastard, Nice & Smooth and Keith Murray says otherwise…

              • mena

                Never listened to them but can’t understand how that is possible. You are the music person though.

                • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

                  Listen to their albums. All of them are considered hip hop classics although none of them make any damn sense in their songs- especially Ol’ Dirty Bastard.

                  Oh yeah, I also forgot to add Camp Lo and Slum Village to the list as well by the way.

                  • mena

                    So you don’t think they were classics?

                    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

                      I just said they were, I also said nothing they said made any sense. I’m a huge fan of Ghostface, but I can’t make out half of what he’s talking about.

                    • mena

                      So then how are they classics?? That doesn’t make sense :-)

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        i agree with this.

    • Asiyah

      Thank you for answering my question. No urinals!!!

    • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

      #5 – I actually did cop a feel of a woman with implants (with her permission, of course) since I’ve gone back and forth about getting them. I wanted to know what they feel like. *kanye shrug*

      • kid video

        back and forth about getting them

        You dont seem like tha type that would want them…not that i really know you.

    • kid video

      when using the urinal, skip one.

      This also goes for sitting in the movie theather.

    • http://dashwilliams.me/ Dash

      My boys and I regularly listen to R&B while out. It is the only music we agree on. Especially The Temptations, The Four Tops, and The O’Jays. If pressed we can probably still bust out some Temptations choreography.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        Quick question- which one of you is David Ruffin? LOL!

        • http://dashwilliams.me/ Dash

          You have to call being David before things pop off. I have been kicked out of The Temptations several times.

          “Ain’t nobody comin’ to see you, Otis! You wish you could work it the way I do, but you can’t! Because there is only one David Ruffin. And without him, the Temps ain’t nothin’ but a group in SEARCH of a David Ruffin. Matter of fact, I been thinkin’. We should call the group David Ruffin And The Temptations. Yeah, that sound good to me. Y’all beggin’ me not to leave you.”

    • Medium Meech

      3a) Don’t use the stall next to another man if there is another free one available. I know some dudes have their own personal stalls, but let it go.

  • nillalatte

    I definitely don’t do polyester! Okay, see polyester was the worst fabric ever invented — in the ’70s! Today’s polyester tho is totally different and blended with other fabrics. My kids loved “that 70′s show.” I HATED it! My kids asked why? I said, “Polyester!” The hottest f’n fabric to come out of the 70′s. YUCK!!! Ain’t no lie. That shyt is HOT! Not like cool hot. I’m talking 120 degrees hot! Y’all youngster’s have it so damn easy. We were guinea pigs with that damn polyester hot-as-hell-don’t-need-no-iron-stiff-as-a-board fabric! Y’all should be thanking your elders for living through that mess. Seriously! :D

    • Tanny

      I look forward to your comments, you always make me laugh:-)

      • nillalatte

        :D

    • Asiyah

      That reminds me of that 90s commercial. “Like, ‘poly-me-ester!’” LOL

      • nillalatte

        ugh… LOL

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Polyester gives me the jollies.

    • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

      The thought of polyester makes me think of Thelma Evan’s behind… and ain’t nothing wrong with Thelma Evan’s behind.

  • Iceprincess2

    I do lines on occasion, sho do. Did some Saturday night, & I don’t mean the club lmao. Yea I said it. As for the rest of the post: #teamcashmere #teamcorona #obamaforpresident #teamalphamales. One more thing, no cats; they will steal your breath!! Lol

    • The F.acially U.nappealing C.hicago K.id?

      Lines of what? Men? Coke? Bath Salts? Powdered milk?

      • Iceprincess2

        Lmfaoo this ninja said bath salts. It’s too damn early for me to be laughing this hard! I can always count on you TUK :-)

      • Kema

        Lines of Adderall? :-)

    • Yoles

      I’m with you girl!!!!
      #legalizeItAll

      • Iceprincess2

        *passes the plate to Yoles*

      • Kema

        Yes! The war on drugs must stop.

    • nillalatte

      Gurl, you’s a fool! LMAO! All I wanna know is how many times did you cut line? ;)

    • wealthlovebeauty

      “…no cats; they will steal your breath!!”

      Thank you SO much for posting this comment. I HATE cats. Vile creatures. And yes, that movie had a lot to do with my early forming of that opinion.

    • kid video

      @ iceprincess

      you forgot #teamyayo…lol

      • Iceprincess2

        Lol! I’m over it now though, that sh*t is only for once in a while. Might go in the other direction this weekend, I feel like getting some lean.

        • kid video

          Never partook…might one day with a chick/dame/board that i fancied.

          • kid video

            broad

    • Sweet GA Brown

      The most…..the…most…..

    • http://Www.minoritymenshow.com Mr SoBo – www.MinorityMenShow.com

      I’m completely lost on this entire thread exchange.

      • http://Www.minoritymenshow.com Mr SoBo – www.MinorityMenShow.com

        But I have a growing suspicion y’all talking about that Denzel ‘Flight’ stuff.

      • SweetSass

        Drugs. Ie. lines of cocaine.

    • Medium Meech

      So you like that white girl? Self love I suppose.

      • Iceprincess2

        CTFU!!!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      statute of limitations swag.

  • http://www.writingsofamidlifeman.com J. Delancy

    1. Hate lines myself so I understand.

    2. Old enough to remember when polyester was a thick ass piece of synthetic capable of stopping a bullet or burning down a house. No one who ever saw a “Shaft” or “Cleopatra Jones” movie should allow themselves to be touched by polyester.

    3. Experience says its safe to step-out on a cat owner. They are already used to loving an animal that ain’t even trying to love them back. Owning a cat is a sign of masochistic tendencies.

    Women say they are not deliberately trying to bamboozle you or test you. They totally are.
    They will swear on the graves of their parents and the possible cemetery plots of relatives that don’t feel too hot, that they won’t share a man.
    Strangely, after someone texted that Michael Jordan was in a club, 7,000 women showed up in two hours. Sounds like a lot more are willing to share than any would admit.
    Yes, I know most ninjas ain’t Michael but who needs 7,000 if two or three will do?

    Men also swear they won’t share but they will if its someone else’s woman with an award-winning smang.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      “2. Old enough to remember when polyester was a thick ass piece of synthetic capable of stopping a bullet or burning down a house. No one who ever saw a “Shaft” or “Cleopatra Jones” movie should allow themselves to be touched by polyester.”

      People who grew up in the 70′s are going to take issue with this comment. Just throwing that out there…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I’m still amazed that Jordan brings chicks out given his horrible apparel choices. But bands will make any chick dance.

    • Angel Baby

      I’m late to that news. 7,000 women showed up somewhere when? smh & lol

  • Juiciest Mango

    #2 -Yap! I LOVE animos, but I absolutely hate cats! They are used of the devil. #juju/shaitan/vodoo/jin/ouijiboardportal

    -I don’t do high heels.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      *puts a cat next to African Mami*

      • Juiciest Mango

        why do you thrive in evil deeds?!?!??!??!??!?!? eish!

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          Because I’m evil, you ain’t know?!
          *rubs hands with an sinister grin*

          • Sweet GA Brown

            automatically thought of stevie j.

            • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

              Take that, take that….

    • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

      *waves*

      Hiya, AM!

      • Juiciest Mango

        Hey Val darling!!! :)

  • Tanny

    Cockroaches… will run and scream when I see one. I even cried over one once, a GIANT roach slithered across my foot and I cried like a baby:-/ It felt like slime:-( YUCK!

    • Asiyah

      Cockroaches suck and I hate them!!!!

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      *places cockroch next to Tanny*

      • nillalatte

        Oh, you just on one tonight, huh? :P

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          Who…me? Not me…

      • Asiyah

        My cat will eat that roach!!!!

      • Tanny

        OMG just the thought is giving me the creeps.. Naughty! It’s heating up here so they’re EVERYWHERE:-/

    • Yoles

      Roaches… Oh boy… I’m not scared of spiders, snakes, dogs, horses, bulls, elephants, crickets, hornets, bees, walking the projects at night but roaches they stop my breath, make my blood run cold cause a lil per to escape have me shaking & quaking.. I hate them so much!!!

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        Yes. And killing them is so gross, they make that horrible crunching sound and they have more guts than other insects. One time I killed a roach and a worm wriggled out of it. I hate roaches with a passion.

        • The invisible man

          That’s disgusting

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          TMGDI!!!!

    • nillalatte

      I don’t like them, but I ain’t scared of them. I think if I had to choose an animal/bug that I was truly scared of it would be… it would be… ummm… wait… thinking… maybe… a wind scorpion.

      • Manny

        Do they fly on air currents. Because that truly is frightening.

        • LeonieUK

          Roaches are cool, as long as I’m in the tropics not anywhere in the UK. Going ‘back home’ you had best manup if you wanted to take a shower, cause those big friggers will be there to greet you a good morning.

          • Sweet GA Brown

            Ugh waterbugs take me back to my childhood at me grandparents house.

            • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

              Ever got hit with the lovebugs? Further down South (like the Mobile-Pensacola area), they are out in droves…and will f*ck your car up in a minute, LMAO!

              • CNotes

                “Ever got hit with the lovebugs?”

                Lovebugs are the WORST!! They love chillin ON you….especially if you have on bright colors. And swatting them does nothing. smh

                • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

                  I rode my motorcycle to Thomasville (The halfway point when you’re getting to Mobile) and I got hit by them in droves!

                  • chameleonic

                    LMAO @ hearing someone mention thomasville. that brightened my whole day. i seriously feel like home right now im gonna go look at family photos and cry bc i miss country life.

                    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

                      Hold up…you’re a Southerner too?

                    • chameleonic

                      lol, yeah silly. both my parents were farm raised in a no name town, i spent a good chunk of my younger years living there, most of my life was spent in suburban va but a good decade or so is southern belle.

                    • chameleonic

                      alabama = my whole family line but i am dreaming of those texan rolling hills.

      • Asiyah

        Roaches don’t scare me either but they’re so gross.

    • Medium Meech

      I am with you. There are few things in the world I loath as much as those non-earthly creatures. They are not of the same God that created me.

  • nillalatte

    Off topic: I had a meeting one day that I really didn’t want to attend. A gubment thing. I was so ticked off after I left that place and it was in an interesting part of town too. I stopped at a restaurant in this interesting part of town. As I got out of my car I noticed a little plastic bag on the ground. I reached down and realized this little plastic bag had some very interesting contents. It wasn’t a Heineken, but had plenty of bud.

    Please take a moment to guess what I might have done:
    a) left it lying on the ground.
    b) picked it up and threw it in the trash.
    c) picked it up and had a personal party.

    Presented with this scenario, What Would You Do? :)

    • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

      I would have thrown it away. No telling what it might be laced with.

    • Yoles

      I would have gotten some1 to redistribute it & pocketed the $$$$

      • Iceprincess2

        Capitalism at its finest!

      • Sweet GA Brown

        +1. Let somebody else smoke the laced product.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      Left it. I don’t pick up strange baggies off the ground.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      First off…thanks for finding the stash. 2, I hope you aint on television tomorrow as one of those reality shows where they see what folks do when they find drugs.

    • LeonieUK

      Picked it up and gave it to the smokers shivering outside on a quick fag break, I’m for the people really…