Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists, Pop Culture, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

How To Build A Black Relationship Bomb

Step 1: Find a famous Black couple, and hold them and their relationships up as infallible paragons of everything right with Black love, Black dating, Black relationships, Black sex, and Black marriage

It does not matter if this couple is real (Barack and Michelle, Will and Jada, Jay-Z and Bey, etc), fictional (Cliff and Claire, Martin and Gina, Darius and Nina, Dwayne and Whitley, etc), swingers (Will and Jada), dead swingers (Ossie and Ruby), weird as f*ck (Will and Jada, again), or figments of your f*cking imagination (the uber-modern and fulfilling relationships we assume Common, Andre 3000, and Mos Def have with women because, well, they’re Common, Andre 3000, and Mos Def).

In fact, it doesn’t even matter if the couples contain people you personally wouldn’t date because of your excessively arbitrary standards (Darius is too short, Barack and Will are too lightskinneded, Dwayne is a nerd, Ossie was old even when he was young, Whitley is too bougie, Michelle and Claire are a bit too tall, educated, and independent, Nina is kind of a ho, Gina definitely rocks a headwrap and curlers to bed, etc). As long as they’re Black and they’re together, they’re benchmarks.

Step 2: Refer to said couples by their first names

Doing this obviously makes logistical sense. Some couples are so iconic there’s no need to say their full names when mentioning them. Also, it’s just easier to say and/or type “Barack and Michelle” instead of “Barack Obama and Michelle Obama.”

But, while this practice has its practical purposes, it’s really a linguistic trick that allows people to assume that the person incorporating it knows Barack and Michelle and Will and Jada and Whitley and Dwayne personally. And, if you know these couples personally, you have intimate personal knowledge of their relationships. And, if you have intimate personal knowledge of their relationships, you can say things like “The way Will treats Jada is the epitome of everything I want in a man.” without any hint of irony.

Step 3: Cherry pick all positive aspects of said couple’s relationships while ignoring all negatives

Take Jay-Z, for instance. Why bother mentioning the fact that he spent the majority of his adult life using women the way fat crackheads use toilet paper and also made a fortune by bragging about said use and usage of women and was able to have access to Beyonce because of said fortune? He wrote a song about his daughter, so he must obviously be a relationship role model to all men.

Step 4: Compare public things done by said couples to private things done by men and women in your own lives

Say things like “Darius wrote and performed an impromptu poem for Nina, and was creative in tracking her down, and took her on a romantic date, and dudes today don’t even let you order off the dollar menu at Wendy’s” or “Women today be talking about dudes gotta have this or that, but Michelle took a chance and dated Barack when he was too broke too afford name-brand ramen.”

Never mind the fact(s) that Darius was a stalker and “dating a man with a Harvard Law degree” doesn’t exactly scream “taking a chance.” The point is clear. These people are clearly better than the people currently in your dating pool.

Step 5: Combat said unrealistic comparisons with…more unrealistic comparisons

When you’re a man listening to a woman complain about why she can’t find a Barack or a woman reading a man’s Twitter bitch session about how they don’t build women like Claire Huxtable anymore, make sure to respond to said criticism by saying “Well, there aren’t too many Michelles out here either” or “You can’t say you want a Claire if you’re busying bagging and boning Denises.”

Continue doing this for approximately two to four days.

Step 6: Drop bomb on Black populace. Watch Black masses scold, scrap, and scatter

Step 7: Repeat steps 1 through 6

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://twitter.com/kjnetic Sith King Jordan

    congratulations, you’ve solved black twitter.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      thank you. now if I could just solve Black movies…

      • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

        Now we need to solve Black TV.

        Signed,

        Someone who watches the unadulterated f*ckery that is “Single Ladies”

        • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

          I watch it too

        • Rewind

          I managed to sit through 3 episodes of that show.

          By all standards, I deserve a Purple Heart.

        • S

          My mama asked me if the girls on the show were prostitutes.

      • Jamaicangirl

        10 Points to Champster for not mentioning Kim and Kanye… <3

      • http://stellarexpressions.tumblr.com Stellar S~*

        Just reaffirming why I blame Love Jones for pretty much…everything.

    • Aaron

      PREACH.

      I’ma just refer everybody I catch doing this stuff on my timeline directly to this post.

      I’ma be on so many spam lists…

  • She Who Reads

    You forgot Denzel and Pauletta.

    • Anastasia!!!

      Iono about that one – Whenever I hear Denzel and Pauletta, I think of the amount of cheating Denzel has done. If the initial image is not Go Black Love imagery, then I don’t think it counts.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      i think Denzel forgot Denzel and pauletta too

      • LeonieUK

        *Dead*

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        *rimshot*

      • Jamaicangirl

        Well then….

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        “i think Denzel forgot Denzel and pauletta too”

        *DEAD* yet I’m typing this…

      • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        Oh sh*t… lmaooooo

      • Pseudonym

        [*dead*]

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i’m with everybody else on this one. i forget he even has a wife most times.

      • demondog06

        can you blame him!? you got chicks like sanaa lathan throwin the panties at him..meanwhile his wife looks like the creepy cat lady from up the street…

        • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

          awww that’s not nice. maybe she looks like the cat lady because he treats her like one and doesn’t give her any love.

          • demondog06

            um……no

            she clearly must have a wonderful personality

            • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

              it’s not nice to say that another person is unattractive and imply that this is why the husband/wife cheats. lots of people cheat and it has nothing to do with looks. if he’s soo over this ugly woman then he shouldn’t be with her. the fact that he can’t dump the “ugly” woman speaks volumes about him and his own crappy personality.

              • poeticion

                It’s not nice, but it’s real.

        • bhillboy

          I think Paulette looks good for a woman in her 50′s and I haven’t heard her complain about their relationship. Ever.

  • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

    “How To Build A Black Relationship Bomb”

    Step 1a: Use Kim and Kanye as an example of Black love in a collage.

    Oop.

    • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

      Just watched Giants-Cowboys. Too bad ti didn’t work out with Kim and Miles Austin. Or Reggie Bush. Or her legal husband, Kris Humphries. Or Ray j. Or…

    • PurpleView

      Right? Man that turned me off! Can’t even finish reading this now.

    • b sweet

      Hey now! That’s a quality relationship. They are in love.

      IAYP-a single women in her 30s with more than 2 ex boyfriends and a perhaps even a failed marriage. Sounds like the dating resume of an average single woman to me. Except she’s a multi millionaire.
      #kimstaywinning

      *how obvious is it than I’m a fan?*

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “IAYP-a single women in her 30s with more than 2 ex boyfriends and a perhaps even a failed marriage. Sounds like the dating resume of an average single woman to me. Except she’s a multi millionaire.”
        #kimstaywinning

        I will say that I think Kim gets a bit of unnecessary shade. other than her sham marriage, she hasn’t really done anything wrong

        • http://BlackLatinaFabulous.wordpress.com Maris

          Especially when you count the # of “breakup songs” Taylor Swift has made….
          At 23.

          • bhillboy

            Taylor Swift? You actually listen to Taylor Swift? Okay

            • http://nyangistyles.blogspot.com Nyangi

              BOL!! I do agree Taylor Swift? Really

            • Aaron

              People listen to Taylor Swift?

              Wait…

              SHE SINGS!?!

              • GypsyCurl

                Wow, y’all are taking me back. I like reminiscing about old shows like Mr. Ed.

                Wait? Taylor Swift is not the government name of Mr. Ed?

                I kid! I kid!

            • http://blacklatinafabulous.wordpress.com Maris

              No. I am merely pointing out that “america’s sweetheart” has been linked to more men at 23 than KK has at 31.
              #KanyeShrug

              • Jamaicangirl

                ” Kanye Shrug” in reference to Kim i see what you did there….

              • bhillboy

                Taylor Swift, America’s Sweetheart?
                Okay

                • http://blacklatinafabulous.wordpress.com Maris

                  Yep, America’s Sweetheart. The chick that made Kanye & John Mayer dissapear for a year because they mussed up one hair on her fair blonde head.

                  I realize that sometimes you disagree with me for simple sport :-)

                  • bhillboy

                    Disagree with you for sport? Not really I just don’t watch E! news or read OKAY! magazine to be up on the latest happenings ofTaylor Swift and John Mayer.

                    • http://blacklatinafabulous.wordpress.com Maris

                      Bhillboy, darlin…if that’s the way you need to communicate with people to give you purpose in life then God Bless You.
                      PS- I don’t own a TV. I just don’t live under a rock.

              • Derrick

                Maris,

                Your right…. My 12 year old daughter told me that T Swift makes a breakup song for every dude she dates… I’m like she’s 22, how many is that. She says, I don’t know. A lot.. SMH.

                As for Kim K and J-Lo, how are they any different than most women that move on other than every dude is in the public eye. Other chicks do the same thing but you dont have the entire list of men to follow. So if these dudes is living Kim K, then do you. The marriage was a sham in my opinion, but people followed it and she made 20 mill. She’s winning. Her moms is in straight pimp mode…. No hate here.

        • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

          Kim makes it so easy. Every time I see an article about her I’m like http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m70idpfUiV1qzzm3z.gif

          • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

            Dope gif

            • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

              Agreed.

          • KT

            LOL at this gif.

            • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 fiveisthenumber

              BOL!

        • bhillboy

          “I will say that I think Kim gets a bit of unnecessary shade. other than her sham marriage, she hasn’t really done anything wrong.”

          Besides taping Ray J smanging her into oblivion, giving a$$ to Bow Wow (WTH), chasing Nick Cannon’s wang around Hollywood, snagging Reggie Bush- who before he dated Kim, was on 80% of hetero black women’s dream list, being married twice, professing her love for “Dark Meat” on many occasions, not appearing very bright on television, publicly jumping on Kanye’s wang before the divorce papers on her current marriage have even been typed up, and having the audacity to sport a jumbo, black girl booty, with out all of that “tacky” melanin- you’re right, Kim hasn’t really done anything wrong.

          • Aaron

            Most of that is gossip, hearsay, and assumptions.

            Try harder, cuz.

            • bhillboy

              There’s only one note of gossip and that’s Nick Canon.

              • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 fiveisthenumber

                I love Kim…She’s brutiful. She’s loose, but still…

          • Things that make me go hmmmm…..

            Black men love white whores, so of course y’all would add “KK” in. Kind of ironic that her initials make up the first two letters of the ku klux klan, but Black dummies still keep flockin’ to her sagging ass, while she takes y’all to the bank.

        • Third Of August

          Just popping in…..I don’t think I can add much to today’s topic.

          • Third Of August

            My bad. This was supposed to go elsewhere.

            • YeahSo

              That’s what he said.

              • http://challyshares.tumbler.com Nei Jae

                #score

              • demondog06

                and ZING!

        • Rewind

          While I’m not fond of her strictly because she gained fame for doing nothing but recieving penis…a) I have to give her and her my props for turning a sex tape into a multi-million dollar empire & b) learning to turn frustration from hate into endurance for success

          However….and I know I’ll get stabbed in the neck for this…I think Kim K represents quite a number of the female masses in general as far as lifestyle…she just happens to be rich, which makes women then hate her more, but I dare any woman to tell me they don’t have a friend just like Kim..except she’s broke…and maybe has 3 kids by now.

          • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

            *mentally scrolls through “friend” rolodex*

            I don’t.

            *mentally scrolls through “acquaintances” rolodax*

            hmmm

            • Rewind

              Aye, we all know at one person like that

        • NomadaNare

          I don’t think Kim’s shade is unnecessary, and to me it’s indicative of the weird relationship that Americans have with black people in general. Physically, Kim is about as close to a black woman as you can get and has taken more pipe than the plumbing system of New York, yet she’s lauded as a vixen. If Kim had more melanin not a single thing she did would be relevant. So, why is it that ‘white’ women that look like black woman get play with mainstream America but black woman don’t…? For another example reference the JLo phenomena.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “Physically, Kim is about as close to a black woman as you can get”

            I really don’t understand when people say this. Black women aren’t the only women in the world with hips, thighs, and ass. If you went to Syria or Egypt or even Italy you’d see thousands of women who look just like her. It’s not that she’s “built like a black woman.” She’s just not built like a northern european blonde.

            • Justmetheguy

              (Gets kettlecorn popcorn ready for this conversation) lol

              Methinks the “intriguing” aspect of stars like J.Lo and Kim K. is crossover appeal. Not too many non-black celebrity women appeal to black men on such a widespread level and not too many wide-hipped thick booty brunette chicks appeal to more than 3 white men. That’s where the hype comes from. She’s a modern day/poor man’s Marilyn Monroe, but it’s noteworthy that she’s a brunette (which is apparently a handicap in the 2520 community) lol

            • bhillboy

              That’s 3 countries with a significant amount of African intermixing. And I’m not talking about in the last 50 years. I’m talking about for hundreds and in Syria’s case Thousands of years. In Egypt’s case they are Africans. But in America, Kim’s big booty, Fully Lips and olive complexion are mostly valued by African Americans. I’ve heard plenty of white guys say Kim was Fat as hell.

              • demondog06

                not to mention her “assets” aren’t natural.
                i hate that it’s such a trend now for chicks to go do this Frankenstein ish to themselves then force feed this to my eye sockets as what is sexy,
                i actually thought that she was fine way back when little brandy’s dyck made her famous.
                now plastic lookin and gross
                having said that…a nygga gotta respect her biz savvy..she knows how to keep herself relevant

                • Justmetheguy

                  “i actually thought that she was fine way back when little brandy’s dyck made her famous.”

                  Me too. Her sh!t looks wop-sided and ridiculous now. She was chexy as hell in that video though…damn…but yeah black women ain’t the only thick ones out there

            • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

              Thank you for saying that, Champ. I am Latina and we get plenty of girls with hips and thighs that aren’t Black Latinas either. Got lots of Arab women under their long abayas with some of the finest bodies I’ve ever seen. And we know Kim’s Armenian…not exactly White.

              • oh ok…

                ummm…wtf…EVERYONES gots hips and thighs…sheesh!
                Especially nowadays w/ clothing that gives the illusion that theres an actual shape.
                Look back at women’s clothing before 2000…the ONLY ppl w/ any curves were those of African descent. Now everyones got booty? Yea…ok..

                • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

                  I didn’t say everyone’s got a booty. I’m saying that it isn’t only women of African descent who have curves.

                  • Things that make me go hmmmm…..

                    ladies, plz! these black men aren’t going after these other women because of their curves – if curves was the only factor they’d stick with their own black women – no these no-goods want whiter skin and straighter hair to boot.

          • Rewind

            You are messing with the facts. Ok let’s be clear.
            a) Kim is very pretty and does have a wonderful body, but that doesn’t mean she’s trying to be Black. It just means she has a nice body

            b) The assumption that women with curves who aren’t Black are getting America’s love while Black women aren’t is a shady subject because people forgot an important piece….Kim has a career that she built through the help of business minded folks and now she’s got millions. People may not like who she is or what she did, but it is what it is. Now name me a shapely young Black woman who’s not a video chick that has managed to amass wealthy be being good at something? No not talking about Halle or Beyonce either.

            c) How is the amount of men Kim K slept with that different from any other female, regardless of fame?

            Only shade Kim should get thrown her way is becoming famous off a sex tape, but that was almost 7 years ago, and since then she’s built an empire. Some things need to be left in the past.

            • b sweet

              True dat Rewind. True dat.

            • Third Of August

              Actually, in terms of what we’re talking about, Kim K’s whole existence is based off of that sex tape. Sorry, I can’t respect (much less take seriously) anyone who goes that route. She doesn’t get a pass just because the majority of America thinks she’s fine. (Which I don’t.)

              • lm

                Not only that, but the biggest problem I personally have with Kim — Reggie Bush on the cover of Essence aside, and that was the last issue I ever picked up — is not that she started her empire with her sex tape … but if a Black woman such as the one Rewind described tried to start a career with something like that, I’d bet you more than a little she wouldn’t have somebody trying to pay her $17mil for her wedding on the back end.

      • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        LOL I was actually just saying she ain’t Black. No shade at all. And yes, ok I may have mentioned this to stir up a bit of heat about Kim that always comes. #pinchablearsonist

        I actually think there is love there. In fact, I’ve already said that I can’t wait til Kanye’s EPIC 808s Redux when if when they break up. :D

        • b sweet

          ohhh.
          Makes sense Cheekie.

        • nillalatte

          “I was actually just saying she ain’t Black.”

          LOL.. she black by insertion girl. Didn’t you know? ;)

          • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 fiveisthenumber

            She got a lil black in her. (prolly as we type)…I still love her.

            • Rewind

              By celebrity count, she’s had 4 black peens and one melanin-missing peen. Who knows what it was before she got fame.

              She don’t got a lil black in her, she’s got a small portion of Africa in her.

              • JessicaL

                I choked on my mcdonalds frappe because of this comment.

                • Rewind

                  That’s $2 I can’t give ya right now pimp, sorry.

              • http://www.twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

                *Reads that last sentence twice*
                Leaves gif http://tinyurl.com/ctwgy69

                • Rewind

                  STill needs a big booty attached to it

              • African Mami

                @ Rewind,

                We REJECT her !! No, thank you!!!!!!!!!Oh mi gosh, NO! We got 99 problems, already. Urrrrgh! Ooooowiii!

                • Rewind

                  lmao it’s too late, the damage has been done

        • http://www.todisspits.blogspot.com MicTheMessenger

          I agree like a mug Cheeks. They both obviously enjoy their celebrity, and they enjoy each other for reasons that make sense to them. Outside opinion shouldn’t even matter.

          And it is time about time for Kanye to drop another stellar album, despite the fact that blame game (a song about his last ex) STILL goes hard in the paint.

      • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

        BS. Let’s be real. If Kanye was dating a Black woman with brown brown skin, he would be catching hell for the way he treats her. Kim is in the category of celebrities it’s okay to hate. The amount of shade his friends and Kanye himself throw at her on a constant basis man. Come on. Black Twitter would be buggin out with how much he constantly say he needs to fix her or all the jokes about how much better he is than her.

        • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

          I don’t know about that. Look at his exes… all brown women. With the women that he’s dated before K.K Ye has done a relatively exceptional job of keeping them removed from the media circus that is perpetually surrounding him.

          • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

            I’m talking about Post-My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy Kanye, not College Dropout-Graduation Kanye who had far less media presence as far as insight into his day-to-day personality. After Amber Rose, we should all know that he isn’t going near any near Black anymore.

            • AfroPetite

              “And when he get on he leave yo a$$ for a white girl”

              • JessicaL

                Lmao, that’s it, that’s all.

            • AfroPetite

              “And when he get on he leave yo a$$ for a white girl”

              • Third Of August

                But Kanye was “on” well before MBDTF.

              • Justmetheguy

                @ AfroPetite- Bazinga! lmao! So ironic that he had to have done it on purpose lol

          • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

            If I’m correct, and I may be wrong, but if you break down Kanye’s dating choices by ethnicity you might find that there were Black girlfriends before his mom died and White girlfriends after she died. Right?

            Not sure what it means but there’s definitely something going on.

            • Thriller

              Never thought of that before. As a momma’s boy myself subconsciously I go for women I really hope my mum likes. Seeking approval if you will. I guess after that, all bets are off.

            • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

              Thanks Val. I thought I was the only one who noticed that. Though his relationship with his mother always seemed a touch creepy to me. It came off more than a bit Oedipal from what I could see.

              • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

                His mother was just keeping him in check so he wouldn’t end up like OJ. She was a very good person with values, but understood where the money was coming from.

        • DQ

          In a way Kim Kardashian is kinda like an Armenian Karine Stephans minus the tell all book. They’ve done pretty much the same thing. They’re both opportunists, they both have a sex tape/porn out there, they screw high profile athletes and celebrities to stay relevant, and ninjas CONTINUE to line up to assist them on this quest every step of the way.

          It’s actually pretty amazing.

          • Rewind

            Nah it’s not the same. Karrine fully blasted herself as a whore. It wasn’t found out by mistake, she went on for years talking about who she was smashing, then would switch up the story when called out on it, and then one day she realized she could make money off these stories. And she did. Now why do men still want to smash? For the sexual risk, because if the stories of her legendary skills are true, common sense goes out the window for one try. And I don’t understand why any woman wouldn’t get that logic, because how often do many women fall for the worst guy possible because they heard how good the pipe game was?

          • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

            “In a way Kim Kardashian is kinda like an Armenian Karine Stephans minus the tell all book.”

            But Kim has her own show and doesn’t look all that bright (yes, even dumber than Karrine), hence, the lack of a tell-all book.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “In a way Kim Kardashian is kinda like an Armenian Karine Stephans minus the tell all book. They’ve done pretty much the same thing. They’re both opportunists, they both have a sex tape/porn out there, they screw high profile athletes and celebrities to stay relevant, and ninjas CONTINUE to line up to assist them on this quest every step of the way.”

            apples and hand grenades.

        • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          “BS. Let’s be real. If Kanye was dating a Black woman with brown brown skin, he would be catching hell for the way he treats her.”

          Calm down I wasn’t going that deep. All I was saying is that when people celebrate Black love, each partner is Black. Simple. lol

          If you notice, Black women ain’t even trippin with Kanye dating her as they were say… Reggie Bush. Which I find interesting. Maybe because they feel Kanye is too far gone to even be considered an eligible bachelor? LOL

          • Justmetheguy

            “If you notice, Black women ain’t even trippin with Kanye dating her as they were say… Reggie Bush. Which I find interesting. Maybe because they feel Kanye is too far gone to even be considered an eligible bachelor?”

            Nah, it’s because they think Reggie looks 10 times better than Kanye so it stung a lot more. For instance, most the black chicks i see with white dudes my first thought is “Aww, I’m happy for her. She sure was gon have a hard time gettin a black dude” Then when I see a baaaaaad chick wit a white dude I’m like “WTF, you didn’t have to do that! What did we do wrong!?”

            http://s1233.photobucket.com/albums/ff394/Pwouette/?action=view&current=Betrayed.gif&newest=1

            Just…tragic lol

            • bhillboy

              Word!

            • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

              Yeah, that’s stating the obvious, tho. Reggie IS way fahner than Kanye. But, I’ve heard women say that Ye is sexy OUTSIDE of looks. It ain’t all about looks. It’s stature, too. Best believe that if Barack Obama wasn’t handsome and he had a white wife, HELL would still break loose.

              In fact, I’m likely to believe that Barry’s swagger trumps his looks, because his big-eared self prolly wouldn’t have gotten any ladies if he wasn’t smooth. For the record, his big-ears are cute to me because my daddy had them too. LOL

              • Justmetheguy

                @ Cheekie- Yeah, I got u. I agree. It’s moreso just that I don’t know any chicks that think Kanye’s sexy…at all. Not saying they don’t exist or that there are only 3 of them. Just saying I could probably count on my hands the number of black chicks who DON’T think Reggie Bush is sexy and I could probably count the number of chicks who think Kanye’s sexy on my hand also…all I would have to do is close my fist lol. Seriously though, I agree that it’s not all about looks, but some stars are seen as sexy across the board. Kanye and Reggie are the ideal examples of the dichotomy to me. But you’re right about that Barack part. You have no idea how much this statement resonated with me:

                “Best believe that if Barack Obama wasn’t handsome and he had a white wife, HELL would still break loose.”

                YES! I said this many times before. That was honestly his best political move imo lol. Because the amount of skepticism he would be met with would COMPLETELY change the way black folks (especially the women) viewed his policies… I realize I’m assuming and generalizing but it really would be very interesting to see. I’m not sure which scenario would’ve encouraged ppl to lie to themselves more… I hope he wins though. I’m curious as to how he’s gonna switch it up in his second term…If Mittens wins it’ll be a riot in the d@mn streets lol

            • demondog06

              i tend to like those artsy eclectic chicks…
              but from what i’ve noticed in my short time in chicago is that all the bangin chicks like that, are all with white boys

              and it stings like someone stabbed me in the nuts with a hot butter knife…
              but let her be average or unfortunate looking and i’m like ” aww grab love wherever you can find it you 2 crazy kids”

          • YeahSo

            Kanye’s a whiny b*tch (did we approve this use yesterday?)… Reggie is an NFL player.

          • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

            “If you notice, Black women ain’t even trippin with Kanye dating her as they were say… Reggie Bush. Which I find interesting. Maybe because they feel Kanye is too far gone to even be considered an eligible bachelor? LOL”

            la2. It’s his metrosexual ways. Many women consider Kanye to be suspect, while Reggie is not as suspicious.

            • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

              Kanye is just weird and awkward. And not in a sexy way, like Miguel.

              • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

                I agree with you, WC. I don’t see how he’s ‘suspect’ because I just simply see him as weird.

              • African Mami

                Miguel, sexy?! You must be kidding me! Choi.

                To each her own. *faints*

                • demondog06

                  dubbya’s messin with us…..gotta be.
                  Miguel is one surgery away from having a uterus

                  • African Mami

                    woof woof!!

                    wassupp!

                    • demondog06

                      whats the flavor that you savor over there my neighbor!

                    • African Mami

                      errrrm, by flavor you mean what exactly. My head is ringing watermelon. AAAAAAAAAND, you never ANSAAD my question. What is it that you smoke?

                • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

                  Miguel is weird awkward sexy. I don’t find him feminine. Just small. But he works it. And his songs are seductive.

                  • Justmetheguy

                    All I know is that his music is the TRUF as far as new school R&B goes at least. So I agree wit WC on that part

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        “Sounds like the dating resume of an average single woman to me. Except she’s a multi millionaire.”

        Now…if a man had said this, he would have been called angry and bitter, LMAO!!!

        • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 fiveisthenumber

          Real talk!

        • Brother Mouzone

          + GAZILLION

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        this is all truth.

      • YeahSo

        Uh that would be 2 failed marriages and a catologue filled with several high profile dang-a-lang… not the average chick’s resume at all.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Kim K. has 2 ex-husbands, actually. She is ahead of women her age in that one lmao

      • PurpleView

        Honestly, I wasn’t even thinking about Kim’s past relationships. Let me not be PC and point out the obvious. The title is ” How to Build a Black Relationship Bomb” – not ” A Relationship Bomb”. I was turned off that he didn’t use a Black couple. I mean if that’s the case why not use Iman and David Bowie? Really bothered that my verysmartbrotha erased me – a Black woman- from the Black relationship equation.Not cool-at all.

    • Anastasia!!!

      And does 1/2 of the couple being black make it a ‘Black’ couple?

      Because umm.. Kimmie isn’t black at all. Just like Tiger and Elin weren’t a black couple or Michael Jordan and the current boo aren’t a black couple. I always considered ‘black’ couple when both parties identify as negro.com.

      ;-)

      • PurpleView

        I should have just co-signed yours!

    • Loving Me

      +1,000,000,000

    • LadyLark

      Here’s my Peter Griffin laugh…Hahahahhhhaaaaaa. X-D

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    I loved me some Cosby Show, but I am QUITE DONE with people making Clair Huxtable the ‘standard’ for Black women. That is not real life – Phylicia Rashad’s been married 3 times.

    • Justmetheguy

      “Phylicia Rashad’s been married 3 times.”

      U just had to kill the one fairytale black men had about marriage didn’t u? I got a naggin suspicion that you ain’t really my people smh

    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

      And btw most men will gladly take a guaranteed future of “banging Denises” over a Claire Huxtable. IJS

      • b sweet

        Really? Interesting.

        • GypsyCurl

          What’s really interesting is that these VSBs are attracted to the clearly scatterbrained character, Denise.

          And they wonder why they always date the girl that will key their car, pretend she pregnant, tell him the baby is his when it is really the other guy’s baby, cheat on him, etc.

          • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

            And they wonder why they always date the girl that will key their car, pretend she pregnant, tell him the baby is his when it is really the other guy’s baby, cheat on him, etc.

            Thats a pretty far leap you just made. Is it so wrong and unnatural to be attracted to the light-skinned, wavy, suburban, faux-eclectic chick that attended a fictional HBCU??

            • Justmetheguy

              “Is it so wrong and unnatural to be attracted to the light-skinned, wavy, suburban, faux-eclectic chick that attended a fictional HBCU??”

              I get the feeling that this is a trick question lol

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            Denise was scatterbrained…but seh was also 18 at the time. honestly, my oldest sister probably followed a life path very similar to what Denise Huxtable did (and interesingly came from my family, which is simlarly modeled) and she’s not even remotely the type to do any of that crazy stuff.

            crazy lives all on its own without reference to what family it comes from.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            The hell?!??

            Scatterbrained doesn’t mean crazy.

            Now that Vanessa Huxtable looked like the one to go crazy on a dude. Ask Dabnis.

      • bhillboy

        “And btw most men will gladly take a guaranteed future of “banging Denises” over a Claire Huxtable.”
        Nobody. And I mean nobody is guaranteed that much good fortune.

        • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

          Exactly my point. It almost sums up exactly, although simply, the 2 choices that a young man fantasizes about. And I say fantasize of BOTH alternatives because the complete “Claire Huxtable” package is as lofty an idea as is a lifetime of “bagging and boning Denises.”

        • cali_blaxican

          Not even her husbands were that blessed…. Denise (Lisa Bonet) was married a couple times herself, once to Eric Benet.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            Lisa Bonet wasn’t married to Eric Benet- she was married to Lenny Kravitz.

      • Aaron

        Man….

        F*** Denise.

        And not how you talmbout…

        She is the definition of Friend Zone Fiona. Wanna come back all after the fact… SMH.

        • bhillboy

          You lose credibility by saying you’d friendzone Denise- You have no people.

          • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 fiveisthenumber

            No people…SMH

            • Justmetheguy

              Lmao! Yeah, Imma have to lean back and leave him hangin on that one…U can tell Denise’s irresponsible @ss was a freak too…I’m not even team redbone like that, but me her and Persia White would be a threesome for the ages :P

              • bhillboy

                Persia White scares me. Like she’ll try to put me up on some Voodoo/Santaria, bloody chex ritual.

                • Marshal

                  I see SOME of us Brothas actually saw Girlfriends once in a while….. Was it for her or Golden Brooks, or the Bougie Chick that was Joan’s best friend?

                  • Justmetheguy

                    Definitely her AND Golden Brooks…Lawd….I swear them 2 could get it, mail it back and get it AGAIN with a reimbursement for shippin and handlin. That was the original 3some I wanted honestly….Denise is sexy too tho…
                    @BHillBoy- Persia White is a weirdo, I’ll give you that, but that’s kinda part of the appeal to me. She seems like a down to earth but in her own crazy world type of chick. Like it never occurred to her to be full of herself. It’s very sexy to me. Especially on a pretty chick like her

                    • b sweet

                      She could get it.

                      Come on gents. Anyone could get it.

                    • bhillboy

                      Uhhh, No! Every woman can NOT get it. Most women can’t get it from me.

                    • http://www.todisspits.blogspot.com MicTheMessenger

                      All FOUR of the girlfriends coulda got it. Even Tracy Ellis-Ross with them bottom of the ocean, i can see your future eyes.

                      And in terms of crazy, light-skinned crazies have the best box since redbox. Just don’t tell that heaux where you live.

                    • Third Of August

                      Going off their looks….all four of them could get it.

                      Going off the characters they played on the show…..Zero of them. I didn’t like any of their characters. At all.

                  • bhillboy

                    “Was it for her or Golden Brooks, or the Bougie Chick that was Joan’s best friend?”
                    Nah cuz it was Jill Marie Jones and the bougie chick that Dated their Male friend. I don’t know her name but she could get it the long way.

                    • demondog06

                      don’t remember the names but if that brown skinned bourgie chick, had persia whites character’s personality…she would be that deal

                      but all 3′s of the chicks could get it..

      • thelonius

        I would take both Claire and Denise on some horny black mother and daughter pron….

        • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          I find this whole thread gross.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            There is an actual porn based off the premise of the Cosby Show & this thread…

            • Sharay

              haha, I went to high school with one of the girls in that p*orn spoof!!!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “And btw most men will gladly take a guaranteed future of “banging Denises” over a Claire Huxtable. IJS”

        LOL, maybe not “most,” but definitely “many”

      • demondog06

        ” And btw most men will gladly take a guaranteed future of “banging Denises” over a Claire Huxtable. IJS”

        you’re lookin at one.
        don’t get it twisted Claire was that ideal woman, smart, funny, stacked like a brick house, hella down to earth and had that phone sex voice….

        but i loved me some gatdamn denise! she was one of them black hippie type chicks, and i dig that…plus she did that movie angel heart ( that got her kicked off of a different world)

        yum yum

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Truth. And when you consider that one husband was down with the Village People, and Ahmad Rashad has caught a few domestic violence cases on her head, she has no business being anyone’s role model.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        *snickers like Muttley at this post*

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKm5xQyD2vE

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        but she’s so beautiful…I want her looks when I grow up!

        • Justmetheguy

          She is beautiful. Aged gracefully as we all expected (for some reason…)

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Re: Phylicia Ayers-Allen?

        cues in Eric Clapton’s “Cocaine”

        Phylicia Rashad has come a long way, baby!

    • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

      That was her way of keeping it real. otherwise “I am not a role model, but I play on TV”

    • Rewind

      I get why you do it when you’re young and inexperienced with the full responsibility of a relationship….but after 24-30…yall nyggas need get facts right. Imaginary characters can’t give you any damn information on how a real relationship works. It just gives you like 5%. Looking at Cliff & Claire, all you got to see was two horny people over 35 taking care of their kids as best they could…on GOOD DAYS…with few bad ones. You never got to see the episode where Theo was doing crack, or Vanessa got a phone call from the school about blowing some dude in the stairwell or the young assistant at Cliff’s job who keeps pressing him for the D…or any other real life situation that goes down.

      • Justmetheguy

        Right! TV rarely ever shows the bad. Those are episodes I’d definitely watch though lol

        • Rewind

          lmao the Nielson ratings would be through the roof

      • Aly

        Wooow… this sounds like the best Cosby Show episode EVER!

        • Rewind

          Give it a New Jack City vibe, and BET would play it for 3 years straight.

      • YeahSo

        omg Theo was a crackhead?… smh… must have been the pressure of not being able to read good… so sad.

        • Rewind

          hahaaha your crazy ass

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “…or the young assistant at Cliff’s job who keeps pressing him for the D…or any other real life situation that goes down.”

        they need to make a cosby miniseries just for this subplot

        • Rewind

          You’d love to be the producer for that shyte wouldn’t you.

        • SweetSass

          Didn’t Idris Elba and Beyonce make a movie about this?

          • Rewind

            If it was good, then we’d remember it.

            • http://www.todisspits.blogspot.com MicTheMessenger

              *Insert Muttley snicker from above HERE*

          • Ms. Bridget

            Obsessed

  • oracle1913

    I couldn’t even read this because there is a pic of kanye and Kim in the mix with President & First lady Obama and Cliff &Claire Huxtable o_O

    • jazzylia

      +1
      scratch that…
      +infinity

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      i’m mad you put a fictional couple on the same level as the president and the first lady

      • Imperfect

        I think Barack and Michelle make Cliff and Claire real.

        • Rewind

          [Daniel Bryan] NO! NO! NO! [/Daniel Bryan]

          • Marshal

            (Daniel Bryan before Wrestlemania) YES! YES!! YES!!! YES!!!!

            • Rewind

              Marshall, I will do the D.Bryan crazy face if you push me!

              • Marshal

                The Goat Face??? I guess that’s better than the Stevie J Rat Face

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          you should re-read the post again.

          • http://www.twitter.com/SoulaPowa Soula Powa

            LOLOL!

    • kenyadigit

      You look like Roxy Reynolds.

      • http://www.todisspits.blogspot.com MicTheMessenger

        *DECEASED*

  • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

    I don’t want my relationship to be like anybody else’s though. I never really “held up” anybody as a relationship beacon, not even my parents. Every relationship you enter, whether romantic or not, is with that person not with the idea of that person, the potential of that person, or the idea of people you’ve never met. Where’s the logic in that?

    I think a way to fix/combat that is, prior to entering a relationship, like yourself first for who you are. Don’t try to be someone else, or model yourself after someone else and then you won’t expect your person to be or model someone else. Take yourself as you are so you can take others as they are.

    Just a suggestion from someone only 7 or so months in though so… *shrugs* I dunno…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I don’t want my relationship to be like anybody else’s though. I never really “held up” anybody as a relationship beacon”

      had to read this three times before i realized you said “beacon” not “bacon.” i was thinking “i want me some relationship bacon too”

      • b sweet

        Relationship bacon.
        HYFR. That sounds like heaven.

        • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

          Relationship bacon.

          I’ll take 2. Supersized.

          P.S. I don’t even know what ANY of this means.

          • Marshal

            “No one Knows what it Means but it’ Provacative—–
            It gets the People Going”

            - Blades of Glory/N!ggas in Paris

            • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

              Well played sir.

              • Marshal

                Thanks, I try my best

        • AfroPetite

          I’d like mine to be deep fried please

          • DQ

            I didn’t read the entire post, but I scanned and saw bacon. So whatever else was said, I approve. #BaconMakesItAllOkay

            • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 fiveisthenumber

              Thick relationship bacon, with some scrambled eggs of passion.

              *damn that was lame* My bad y’all!

        • GypsyCurl

          Mmmmmh bacon. Sounds better than relationship. F*kc relationships.

          • GypsyCurl

            And F*kc black love, orange love, green love, blue love, magenta love, blue’s clues love, and love love.

            • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

              So…you have hope for White love and brown love, is that it? LOL!!

            • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 fiveisthenumber

              F*ck love love? You gotsta be bitter…love love?

          • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

            Oh GypsyCurl you’re sooooo right! You and I can stand in a corner eating our strips of bacon (mine will be turkey, since I don’t eat pork) and watch everyone else break up!

            • demondog06

              gypsy, asiyah….quit frontin yall know you’d want a nugga to eat bacon bits off your belly button or rub bacon grease all over yo body……..

              • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

                no to the grease, but yes to the bacon bits. only it has to be turkey bacon and he can’t touch my belly button cuz I have a phobia of belly buttons (don’t ask).

                • StrawberryPoptarts

                  turkey bacon cooked in brown sugar. yum to the E.

                • Demondog06

                  And now I have to ask simply cuz you told me not to……

                  So is it inee or outee that you have the problem with?

                  • Asiyah

                    All belly buttons gross me out, including my own. I have some serious issues lol

      • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

        Uncle Champ…
        That corner over there. —->

        lol

        • b sweet

          Tes, please let him finish frying that relationship bacon before you send him to the corner. He has me wanting some.

          • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

            B. Sweet…
            <—- That corner.
            No relationship bacon for you.

            • b sweet

              Ain’t that a b!tch.
              *tosses empty bacon plate in sink and retreats to corner, hungry*

              • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

                *walks past corner and drops a ziplock bag full of bacon beside b sweet’s seat*

                • b sweet

                  Thank you Nei Jae!!
                  *eats 2 slices and saves the rest. Portion control*

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          At least I didn’t get sent to the corner today. I’m on my good behavior mode…

          • Breezy

            PA: pick your corner.

            Dammn all of yall for ruining Tes’s comment about bacon….I mean beacon…shid baconnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

        I dislike each and every one of you in this thread right now… *shakes my head*

        • http://twitter.com/TheHumanSp1d3r The Human Spider AKA The Second Greatest Spider ALKA Spider Motherfu¢&!ng Jackson

          Relationship bacon for the motherf@¢&!ng win.

          That. Is. All.

          • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

            I would say no relationship bacon for you… but that would be depriving me too >.<

      • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

        bacon….
        *homer voice*

        • Marshal

          I guess I should put the nice plate of bacon and eggs I made before logging on back in the microwave and get Oatmeal instead….

          I don’t know why all ya’ll looking at me like that: I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING
          (in my John Rambo vice a la First Blood)

      • YeahSo

        Everyone in this thread seriously needs to stop eating dinner before 7pm… smh.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          you’re saying you’d pass up some relationship bacon?

          • YeahSo

            Absolutely not, I’m also game for a little relationship sausage as well (no eggs or pancakes thanks) but I have a vajayjay…

            My hope is that YOU would. lol

    • bhillboy

      Relationship beacons are really worthwhile. But they should also be in your age range and people that you know. If you don’t know people in good relationships, go find some and befriend them.

      • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

        OR… I could be my own example because…22-25 year olds aren’t necessarily the best beacons for anything at this point. There’s nothing a real life example can teach me, especially in my own age bracket, about how to maintain a relationship.

        Instead, I model how I treat my “him” after the way I’d like to be treated if I were a dude. Seems to be going pretty good so far…

        • bhillboy

          I understand but it’s hard to treat a man the way you, as a woman, would like to be treated because men (generalization alert) don’t want or appreciate what a woman would. We kind of like what we like. I commend you for doing the most though.

          • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

            Well personally, if I were a man, I’d want time to do “man” things without having to answer a myriad of “who, when, where, for how long, why…”. I’d want time to hang with the menfolk, go to the barber shop and come home to a sandwich and the tv on ESPN or some J. Dilla on the stereo. I’d want someone to play video games with, debate with, make love to, vent to, someone who makes being me as I am right in that moment okay, but who also sees the potential in me for greater so I don’t rest on my laurels.

            I’d want that as a dude, and (with a few minor tweaks here and there) that’s what I want (and what I get) as a woman. We all want to just be thought of, appreciated and encouraged, challenged a bit, but overall loved. We’re not as different as everyone wants to make us out to be; the way we get there can vary for a myriad of reasons, but if dude and I are on the same page, the destination is the same.

            • Third Of August

              “We all want to just be thought of, appreciated and encouraged, challenged a bit, but overall loved.”

              Word. I don’t know many people that get this, but it seems you do.

              • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                Word. I wish more of us remembered the golden rule.

                • Third Of August

                  Right. And I wish more people knew how to challenge and motivate others without treating them like inferior charity cases in the process.

                  • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                    Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer for that homie. Some people are born kind, some learn kindness and some never really get there. Surround yourself though, with the ones who are, then the harsh people won’t seem so bad.

                    • Third Of August

                      It’s ok, Tes. Nobody has an answer for that one.

                • Rewind

                  The golden rule should be “take the timie out to understand your partner as a person”.

                  I don’t want a woman doing things for me because she thinks that’s what men like. I want her doing it because she listened to the things I like and don’t like for myself, and then respected it, as I would be doing the same for her.

                  • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                    ^^ Exactly.

                    Not all women like roses. Not all women like ice cream in bed. You’ve got to know your partner. And that’s it right thur.

            • Aaron

              Deep.

            • LadyLark

              I concur with awlladis.

            • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

              Tes can you be that woman for the man you would be?

              • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                I am the woman for the man I would be, just not in a weird way. :)

                • Brother Mouzone

                  Actually, it was the sandwich, ESPN, and makin love part… :)

                  • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                    Aw, Brother Mouzone…

                    I’m taken (happily at that) by this lanky Spider who sometimes lurks here. But I tell you what; you find a girl and I’ll tell her all I know :) lol

                    • Brother Mouzone

                      I will do that…..*walks away broken hearted*

                    • http://twitter.com/HumanSpiderACNJ The Human Spider AKA The Second Greatest Spider ALKA Spider Motherfu¢&!ng Jackson

                      With that, I express my deepest and most sincere of apologies to you, Brother Mouzone.

                • bhillboy

                  Tes- I gave it a few hours for your comments to gel together. I’ve seen that men need time alone, video games, sammiches, but what I haven’t heard is S.E.X.-Therefore I conclude you haven’t articulated that you know what men need as much as you think you know what men need. No Shade, IJS.

                  • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                    My comment at 2:10 am says exactly that. Something something… someone to “make love to” and alladat.

                    Personally, I couldn’t and wouldn’t date someone who wouldn’t want to have copious amounts of sex with me… *shrugs* Just because I didn’t bold that particular part or make that my main thesis doesn’t detract from the entirety of my statements.

                    Your conclusion needs to be reworked, sir. :)

                    • bhillboy

                      I apologize. You just might be perfect for some man out there.

                    • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                      Not perfect by a long shot too much pressure , but being the best option for some dude? That I can get behind. :)

                  • bhillboy

                    I did say “might.”

            • http://twitter.com/kjnetic Sith King Jordan

              you got it, lil’ cuz. Dattebayo.

              *salute*

            • Brother Mouzone

              Don’t take this the wrong way Tes, but…will you marry Me? :)

              • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                :D It was the Dilla and the video games that did it, huh?

                • demondog06

                  ” It was the Dilla and the video games that did it, huh?”

                  yes…..yes it was….

                  i have determined that you are not real.
                  you are a gov’ment agent sent by the Illuminati to get dudes to fall in love with you let their guard down then BAM!
                  a nugga’s in a labatory being injected with a new super saiyan strain of syphills
                  in an operation codenamed: Tuskegee experiment: the revenge,

                  • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                    LOL!

                    There’s a certain Spider lurking that’ll tell you I am indeed real, and that he too had to convince people I wasn’t some sort of hyper real computer program that he made up or something…

                    But I mean, don’t a lot of women love Dilla and video games? Doesn’t everybody love Dilla, video games and a nice sammich on slightly toasted bread? o.O

                    • demondog06

                      ” Doesn’t everybody love Dilla, video games and a nice sammich on slightly toasted bread? o.O”

                      i’ll tell you this much…if i had ever ran into a chick that was partaking in all three of these activities……i prolly would’ve been married with kids now

                    • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                      We’re outchea DemonDog, patiently waiting for a guy to see it in us and put a ring on it. That I can guarantee lol

                    • http://twitter.com/HumanSpiderACNJ The Human Spider AKA The Second Greatest Spider ALKA Spider Motherfu¢&!ng Jackson

                      I can confirm that Ms. Tes is, in fact real. However, my existence may or may not fall into question, but I will say that the proposal may or may not include a portion of Lil’ Scrappy’s proposal speech from the Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta reunion.

                • Brother Mouzone

                  Actually, it was the sandwich, ESPN, and makin love part… :)

      • Third Of August

        Maybe that would help me. Seems like everyone I know is getting married and/or having kids….but I rarely (if ever) hang with 98 percent of them.

      • http://taterwithak.blogspot.com K. Marie

        You know….I can actually get with this. I’m sitting here trying to think of couples in my age range who have that “Black Love” feeling and I am hard-pressed to come up with more than two. But I guess this is one of those quality over quantity things. At least I can think of two couples who have the kind of love I aspire to have!

    • Rewind

      Tes, thank you for being an adult. Seems rare around here.

      • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

        Around where?! Who are you talking about? Why are you insulting people?

        • Rewind

          I’m talking about the internet in general.

          If folks are hurt by it..ok. Has nothing to do with me.

          • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

            Adults are rare on the internet. Ok. Don’t worry, I think its pretty unlikely you could hurt anyone’s feelings.

            • Rewind

              hahaahha…oooh WC, you give me tingly feelings on the inside.

        • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

          Shh…please.

          It was a compliment. Can you let my compliment stay a compliment and not some charged anti-something thing, please? Please?

          • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

            Anti something? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m asking about him saying being an adult seems rare around here. That part was not a compliment. Unless you have a different definition for compliment than I do.

            • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

              Seems to me you plan to take anything Rewind says and make it anti-something or insulting even if it wasn’t directed to you.

              • Justmetheguy

                *Snickers*

                Seriously though Tes your posts have been really encouraging today. I don’t have nothin to do with nothin else #laissez-fairecommenting

                • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                  Encouraging in which way, JMTG?

                  And I see you being all lackadaisical in your approach to commenting today. You ain’t think I noticed, huh? :) lol

                  • Justmetheguy

                    Just encouraging for a fellow like myself. I liked what you said about what you would want if you were a man. There are some other things you left out, but you got some key things down and you seem like an awesome girlfriend. That’s why I said encouraging. Also you said something else that was funny and true but it aint have nothin to do wit me and wasn’t my business so I’m pleadin the FIF lol. I definitely didn’t think you noticed. I was just tryna be part of the solution that’s all ;) lol

                    • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                      “Tes: Encouraging Dudes Since Fall of 2012″ … I can dig it \O/

                      And I can understand side-stepping certain…things… But yeah, I noticed :p lol

              • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

                Considering I asked Rewind about ONE clearly insulting comment, out of pure curiosity, which I am positive had nothing to do with me, because it was made long before I made my first comment and considering my question was to Rewind and not to or about you, and considering I was done with this particular convo round about the time you decided to jump in and try to start sh*t, it might be time for you to let it go.

                • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                  For it to be such a blatant affront, I just find it odd that you seem to be the only one savvy and smart enough to pick up on it. No disrespect is meant, ma’am, I just think you’re reaching.

                  Not a sh*t starter or anything, I just tend to speak my mind about things. Didn’t mean to ruffle any feathers, it was just an observation.

                  • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                    to be fair…it could be taken as such as this place is filled with a bunch of immature folks. i just didnt feel a need to address that. its basically what i was talking about on the post from last week.

                    now y’alls back and forth was ALSO what iw as talking about. lol.

                    • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

                      But I didn’t even…! *sighs and sits in corner*

                    • Rewind

                      My comment was just a shot in the dark…either people got it or they didn’t but as you said, there are immature things on here, and I know I’ve done my piece.

      • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

        You say it’s being an adult, but I’ve always thought this way. And I hardly feel like an adult most of the time :D but thank you lol

        • Rewind

          It’s all good homie, we still running for office anyway

          • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

            <—VP

  • DQ

    Is that all? Cause Twitter already has this process patented. It runs on autopilot once every 2 weeks.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      yeah, that’s all. i just cut and paste the twitter blueprint and posted it here

      • DQ

        I have to admit, the latest installment of it was pretty f#cking disappointing. I mean Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama gave a speech that will be talked about for years if not decades to come because of how it changed the game…

        …And on the heels of that a gender war erupts to see which side could more insanely shift blame, psychologically project bitterness, and eschew personal accountability using Barack and Michelle as proxies? Dr. King marched for this?

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          yes. Dr. King marched for this.

          hell it spawned an argument in my own house. though that’s b/c the offending party said that T.I. and Tiny are like Barack and Michelle which made me lose all my sh*t.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            T.I. and Tiny are like Barack and Michelle which made me lose all my sh*t.

            i’d like to hear the rest of this argument

            • Justmetheguy

              Right! For someone to make such a bold claim I’d be very interested to see how they backed it up. An expert arguer might have been able to pull that off without sounding ignorant or full of sh!t lol

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                1. they are not an expert arguer

                2. there’s no backing up that sh*t. it was and is as patently ridiculous as it sounds

          • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

            “yes. Dr. King marched for this.”

            This and bacon…

            • http://twitter.com/HumanSpiderACNJ The Human Spider AKA The Second Greatest Spider ALKA Spider Motherfu¢&!ng Jackson

              Relationship bacon.

    • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

      what he said.

    • http://www.twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

      Hmm, homie I think Champ missed the part where Black relationship experts go on national television to tell Black men they ain’t sh*t and Black women need to stop eating lemons bc the bitterness can be tasted a mile away. Followed by The Touré giving his own opinions. Finally, Black Twitter release TT’s like #badb*tchlikeMichelleObama or #gettincoochieonthesidelikeBigWill

      • DQ

        Let me go ahead and put those hashtags in my filters right now… just in case.

      • http://twitter.com/tylerg_thomas tgtaggie

        The funny thing is that Toure is married to a Lebanese woman (not that anything is wrong with that). https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTEwahUIHN2dJweqe3w38XDz3yRPnQE8tIzNpgCBB7adoTlCQaA

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          She looks like an anorexic Kim Kardashian, LMAO!!

        • demondog06

          wow that’s crazy because i always thought that toure was homo sex-shall

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          No wonder Toure talks like he’s trying to convince himself that his children are Black.

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        Um….it’s an open secret in the swinger scene that Will and Jada are, um, “friends of the family” if you get my drift. It’s like old school pro wrestling: they take on all comers. ;)

        • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

          Like Dr. Ruth always said “Spice is the variety of life”.

          • bhillboy

            Jada is the livest thing out, for real. She’s bad,bad,bad. I don’t think I could watch another ni66a toss her little, tightly sculpted body around like a rag doll. Which I’m sure happens if they’re in that lifestyle.

            • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

              They mostly swing with members of their same sex. According to gossip, they do not swing with members of the opposite sex. Todd, can you confirm?

              • bhillboy

                I’d watch that.

              • bhillboy

                Clarifying- I’d watch Jada. Will does NOT strike me as gay. Could be the fact that he’s been married twice and his first wife is a straight up banger. Could be all those kids that look like him. Ladies- please don’t say “That doesn’t mean anything.” because Yes, a man being married twice and having 3 kids says something about his sexuality.

                • Ms. Bridget

                  That doesn’t stop him from being bisexual. Hey, he has a lot of love to give!

                  • bhillboy

                    “That doesn’t stop him from being bisexual”-But that doesn’t make him bi-sexual either.

                    • YeahSo

                      I’m pretty sure in his first major movie he played a g@y guy… that counts for at least bi potential, no? I mean, he kissed a man.

                    • Ms. Bridget

                      Wait. So you’re saying you don’t believe that he’s had sex with men because he married two beautiful women and has three kids? Or are you saying that having sex with men and women doesn’t mean you’re bisexual, because you married two beautiful women and have three kids?

                    • bhillboy

                      What I’m saying is we have proof that he loves and has sex with women. We have rumors from people who don’t even know them personally that they are swingers. Facts and rumors don’t carry the same weight with me.

  • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

    sh*t is ridiculous. oh well more power to them.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      this comment is much better if said with rza’s voice

      • Yonnie 3000

        And that is the voice that I used when I read it. Which means that instead of ridiculous, I actually said “ridicilis.”

  • http://lizburr.com Liz

    this post was actually funny.

    I’mma still keep hope alive for my Barack. I think I have some Michelle deep down in my dark cold heart.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      thank you, queen of the backhanded compliment and back alley Bible study session

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        LOLOLOL <3

    • Maximillian

      You know… with an 80s Farrah Flip… and in the right light… you could be a media-type Claire…

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        It is a struggle every day. I know Claire is fictional because there’s no way she fit 5 kids into her career. No way.

        • Geneva Girl

          Thank you! They were always at home with their kids. There is no way someone on the partner track could have had five kids without domestic help. She had made partner on the show, but, yes, it was ridiculous and holds women to an impossible standard. Now, had grandmom lived with them to watch the kids, it could have happened.

          • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

            You missed some major points. Clif had an office in the house. They were both in their 50′s. They had both of their parents living and they all got along. You don’t know if their parent were there in the childrend’s early years. That was a different generation when families work together.

            • Ms. Bridget

              Alladis. Plus, in the first couple of episodes…before Sandra was born introduced, Claire was a housewife (apron and all).

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          The older kids & Cliff also raised the younger kids. How do you think Theo kicked Rudy to a wall? And Cliff had the baby sick on the sofa while he went to work downstairs?

    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

      With everything that our POTUS promised and presented currently being brought under question there is the ONE thing that is undeniable:

      Michelle is a BAD B*TCH. Word to yesterday’s post. Can you run a campaign on that??

      “Yes We Can 2008″… “My B*tch Bad 2012″.

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        LOLOL. Yes. Those two are so good together. Forget the love life, career and marriage tips, I just want a piece of The Obama School for Speech Writing and Delivery.

        I love them. And I swear I thought Cliff and Claire were unrealistic until these two came along. I love that Michelle and Barack can both stand on their own, above others, but at the same time need their other half. I admire the respect they have for each other.

        I really wish Michelle would run for president!!!!

        • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

          I really wish Michelle would run for president!!!!
          I can’t tell whether or not you’re joking.=)

        • http://nyangistyles.blogspot.com Nyangi

          me too!!! And no I’m not American

        • willfollow4cash

          Michelle Obama as the first female president with Oprah as her VP.
          …sigh….

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            No, not Oprah- she can’t even run her own network properly. You think she’s qualified enough to run a country? CEO struggle, LMAO!!!!

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              Thank you, P.A. !!! Oprah can’t run no damn network!

        • thelonius

          “I just want a piece of The Obama School for Speech Writing and Delivery.The way These are great skills to pocess

          • http://twitter.com/tylerg_thomas tgtaggie

            The 1st black president last night showed the masses how its done. That was a masterclass on how to give a great speech while just basically freestylin’

      • Royale W. Cheese

        +1 for “My B*tch Bad 2012″

    • Rewind

      Put on some Red Bottoms & give a kid an apple…you inner Michelle might come out in a heartbeat.

  • Maris

    **tap tap**
    Excuse me sir, but no collage for the unrealistic expectations of Black Lurve is complete without…

    HOOD LOVE.
    So, if you will, please insert Tiny & TI, Jim Jones & Chrissy, and Whazername & Lil’ “Marry a N**ga” Scrappy.

    #ThatIsAll

    • African Mami

      ummmm, pardon me, but you are absolutely STUNNING~ #that’s all.

      • http://BlackLatinaFabulous.wordpress.com Maris

        Gracias!!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Excuse me sir, but no collage for the unrealistic expectations of Black Lurve is complete without…

      HOOD LOVE.
      So, if you will, please insert Tiny & TI, Jim Jones & Chrissy, and Whazername & Lil’ “Marry a N**ga” Scrappy.”

      Nah. this bomb is only for people who use proper punctuation when they tweet

      • http://BlackLatinaFabulous.wordpress.com Maris

        You’d be surprised how many use proper Tweetism and yet would say yes to an offer to “Marry a N**ga”.
        Please see every bewildered male bloggers’ response to the inexplicably positive reaction by degreed women towards Joe Budden’s newest Avi.

        • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

          I saw “marry a n!gga”…he’s doing better than most I guess…

    • http://www.twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

      The Negro media taught me hood love was goid love so I agree with you.

      *ques Mary J. and Musiq*

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      LOL

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      You forgot the classic hood love of all time- Mary J. Blige and K-Ci Hailey!

      • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

        No, it was Ike and Tina

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          You just had to go there…LOL!

        • Breezy

          Nah how can all ya’ll forget Jodi and Yvette “Baby Boy”….that der is sum hood luv.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            But…but…but…it was fictional- it doesn’t count…

            • Rewind

              Have you been paying attention to this whole thread? None of this shyte is real! Black love is like the Matrix, we just living a dream.

              • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

                TIme for you to wake the fck up then

                • Rewind

                  lmao why?

                  Everybody here has a different understanding of what love is supposed to look like, and it’s scary that we identify more with fictional characters than anything telse.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          actually, it was Adam and Eve. only hood niggas make eating some fruit a big deal

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          You take the good along with the bad
          Sometimes you’re happy and sometimes you’re sad

          *dances off*

    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

      True to the Game
      & all things Teri Woods ~*~