All gay

Many faces. All gay.

As is the case with most popular news items that have absolutely no impact on our actual lives, the reactions to the NFL bullying story have become more interesting than the story itself. We’re not even two weeks in, and it has already spawned numerous national sub-conversations about masculinity, sports culture, football, hazing, and half-niggers.

Oh, and faggotry. You can’t forget about gotdamn faggotry.

One of the more popular theories bandied around social media about this story is that Jonathan Martin is gay, and this incident was either the result of a lover’s quarrel gone bad (which would make Richie Incognito gay as well) or Martin’s Dolphins’ teammates having a problem with his sexual orientation.

This may very well be true. Thing is, there is absolutely nothing in this story that would suggest that. Nothing.

But, because Martin’s demeanor and background (introverted, from an upper-middle class background, Stanford-educated, etc) don’t fit our expectations of what a Black male professional athlete should be like—and because he chose to solve his problems in a way we don’t expect Black men to—he must be gay. At least according to some people.

Anyway, although I was taught in a 4th grade biology class that there was only one way to be a homosexual man—be attracted to and/or sleep with men—life has taught me there are hundreds of thousands of things a man can do to definitely let everyone know he really, really, really, really must want to have sex with men.┬áHere’s a few.

Not want to fight

Always want to fight

Smile too much

Be too happy

Match

Read

Sing

Sing in church

Go to church

Join the church choir

Live in Atlanta

Move to Atlanta

Visit Atlanta

Be soft-spoken

Use umbrellas

Be single past a certain age

Don’t have children

Use straws

Sleep with a lot of women

Don’t sleep with enough women

Go to the gym too much

Shower with other men in the locker room

Feel a certain way about showering with other men in the locker room

Love sports too much

Don’t love sports

Take pictures with a transgender model

Be a model

Be an actor

Be a dancer

Be HIV positive

Eat pussy

Enjoy a woman’s touch or tongue on certain parts of your body

Befriend gay people

Hate gay people

Wear skinny jeans

Be skinny

Sag your jeans and sweats

Wear jeans and sweats that actually fit

Use body wash

Take a woman’s side during a disagreement or argument

Be friends with women

Like women

Have female friends

Have no female friends

Be Chris Bosh

Own a loofa

Apply chapstick

Eat a banana, or any other phallic-shaped food, in public

Be an adult virgin

Cry (especially if it’s about some gay shit)

Recycle

Drive certain cars

Have manners

Use emoticons

Take a lot of pictures of yourself

Walk funny

Talk funny

Get molested as a kid (Or sexually assaulted as an adult)

Order certain types of drinks

Order colorful drinks

Order drinks in certain types of glasses

Hold your drink a certain way

Don’t drink

Dance too well

Be Drake

Listen to Drake

Not agree that Drake is gay

Be Kanye West

Be post-808’s Kanye West, especially

Be Kanye West today, especially especially

Enjoy anal sex

Not be sexually attracted to a certain woman

Be sexually attracted to thin women

Make too much eye contact

Don’t make any eye contact

Compliment a man’s looks

Have a man compliment your looks

Be too good-looking

Write something titled “How To Be Gay As F*ck”

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

Filed Under: ,
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • RealGoesRight

    I wrote something like this once. About the conflicting actions of what “supposedly” gay people do. That post was met with…less than stellar results.

    Hope this one gets better received.

    I did catch that everybody thought there were some strong sexual overtones of beef (nh) between the two players. I guess some figured the amount of scorn shown between both men could only happen if romantic feelings were involved…and not so much that they hated each other.

  • iamnotakata

    “Take pictures with a transgender model” So this was a sexy a*s photo shoot! Yes God to Tyson Beckford gay or straight! But I believe his fine a*s is straight. Any who, albeit long your long list would be accurate lol! Also that transgender model is freaking gorgeous!

    • Sahel

      Your avi has the lesbian in me happy

      • iamnotakata

        Okay… thanks I guess lol

    • Yoles

      i’m saying ines makes me feel bad for myself… my cis female-ness gets OWNED by hers

      • iamnotakata

        Yes I stared at all those pics of my boo Tyson and Ines for a good minute because she is flawless and then I googled her and I was floored at her beauty.

      • Oshun

        what is or who is ines?

    • Maris

      Either I’m old or we as a society are more ADD than I thought, because I distinctly remember that Tyson has done, and gotten flack for, close to equally risque photo shoots with men-men. He has ALWAYS stated that he is a model FIRST (and honestly, one of the GOATS in that respect) and has long been a vocal supporter of the LGBT community.

      Also, that shoot was HAWT.

      Also, Ion’ wanna hear anything about this shoot being “art” and Kimye’s EXACT same shoot being “vulgar” anymore. This has nothing to do with anything.

  • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

    First, let me just say….PANTHERS! SQUAD UP!!!!!

    Second: It was so great talking to Shamira & Yolie!! I heard everyone had fun at the VSB meet up. Some persons were drunker than others apparently……..

    Thirdly: I honestly don’t know think that I can properly tag homosexual men anymore unless they are flamboyantly gay. Many gay men I know have brows that are eternally better than mine and clear lip gloss that is forever popping. However, some gay men don’t just jump out at you with a rainbow striped flag and chaps. I quit trying to guess chexual orientations long ago.

    • Val

      It was a very good day football wise. The Giants won and Dallas lost. Which means we have an even better chance of making the play-offs!

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        Ughhh I needed Dallas to win but it’s cool. Any other day I hate Dallas.

        • Val

          Yeah, I know what you mean, it was weird me rooting for New Orleans. Lol Sometime you have to root for the enemy in order to help your team.

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            I felt so dirty. Then the Cowgirls totally stunk up the joint and I got mad.

            • Val

              Lol. They were terrible. They looked like a college team. I have no idea why they sick with Romo. He’s never going to get them to the Super Bowl.

              • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                I turned off the game after the half. What a waste. Idk how they managed to get to 5-5

                • Val

                  Our division is so horrible that it’s amazing, AP. Two teams are 5-5 and the other two are 3-6. Lol!

                  • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                    The fact that two teams are 5-5 and they are vying for FIRST PLACE in that division blows my mind!!!! Can the Panthers switch divisions and be in the NFC East? Puhleaseeeeeee?!

                  • Shamira

                    we’re on a run Val!!!

                    • Val

                      Finally!

              • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

                I think he has one more year there, tops. Jerry Jones is about his money and Romo is not giving any ROI.

                • Val

                  But the Cowboys just re-signed Romo for 6 or 7 years. That’s what I don’t understand.

                  • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

                    they must be smoking something. lol. he’s not THAT good.

          • Yoles

            the enemy though val… dam.n

            • Val

              But they are, Yolie. Lol They generally make the playoffs, so good teams are always the enemy.

              • Yoles

                how quickly some forget the bad times… lol

                still not the enemy.. if you want an enemy its the sack as$ good for nothing, can’t do it right dirty birds aka falcons *spits on the ground* they are wide open for enemies and hatred.. its justified, trust me on this

                • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                  We are one in our hatred for the Pigeons. They lost tonight too so that made me smile :-)

                • Val

                  The Saints sucking was kind of before my time though. Lol. And, I don’t hate the Falcons because they always choke in the playoffs.

                • Shamira

                  Falcons got straight up stomped on, lol.

        • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

          Agreed. Any day the Aints win is a sad day for all NFC South-kind.

          • Yoles

            you so wrong for that dara…
            down vote AND dislike (shoutout to Facebook)

      • Yoles

        WHO DAT :)

        • Val

          Lol. Yep, your Saints made me happy tonight.

    • Yoles

      SideBar:
      you sound sooooo cute AP… and yes you do have an accent… you sound like a hot honey buttered biscuit… i have no idea why i think this but it fits so just go with it…

      • Sahel

        I like this paragraph,i just dont know why.

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        No, I don’t. I have no accent! lol

        • Sahel

          Stop ruining the moment

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        Yea, I heard about ________. You’re a good one Yoles. I have a low tolerance for disrespect sober or drunk. Talk slick get popped and/or maced.

        • Yoles

          i was upset the entire night… that has never happened to me before…

          • Val

            Dang, why are y’all speaking in code!? What happened?

            Edit: even though if there was a problem I have a pretty good guess who caused it.

            • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

              If Yoles wants to speak on it she can. Not my story to tell but I know things were said that shouldn’t have been.

              • Val

                Speaking of mysteries. What happened to that other avi of yours? It was so cute and chexy.

                • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                  Lol which one???

                  • Val

                    The one you had up on tumblr earlier.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      The wavy hair and the pink sweater?

                    • Val

                      Nah, chick, the one with the new cut and the bare shoulders.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Ahhh! I’ll change it just for you!

                    • Sahel

                      Thanks

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      No. Not you…..

                    • Val

                      I knew that was going to bring you out of the woodwork.

                    • Sahel

                      I like art. Is it a crime to appreciate art.

                    • Val
                    • Yoles

                      if we are putting in bids for avi i request the one with the glasses… i really dig that pic… u gave everything!!!

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Lol alright alright

                    • Sahel

                      Can i make a request

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      no

                    • Sahel

                      Totally unfair man.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      The amount of fukcs I have to give is negligible.

                    • Yoles

                      this pic is FIRE AP… 5 stars, 2 thumbs, pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      I do it for the ratchets

                    • Oshun

                      why do I feel like there should be a twerk beat to this, and we make it clap, clap, clap, clap, clap.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite
                    • Val
                    • Sahel

                      I got two down votes because i said i wanted to make a request,man

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      And you deserved both of those and more Sahel.

                    • Sahel

                      Why ? what have i done

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      You know. You know, what it is you’ve done.

                    • Sahel

                      If being being cooler than the other side of the pillow is wrong,then i don’t wanna be right

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      *cackling* RIP Bernie.

                    • Yoles

                      how does one look dusty???

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      You know a dusty looking person when you see them Yolie.

                    • Yoles

                      I’m assuming this “dusty” isn’t dirt/grime/actual dust tho… am i right so far

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Correct! Dusty is a fancy way of saying someone looks busted, tore up from the floor up, a hot mess, etc.

                    • Yoles

                      look at me.. I’m all hip and up with the times and sh!t…
                      *dusts my shoulder off*

                    • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

                      and i am slow…just now getting the title of your tumblr. lol. ah, science failed me…or I failed science. One or the other.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Yay for scienceeeee!!!!!

                    • Oshun

                      my fave one is the vintage looking piece. that one is certified H.O.T.

                    • Yoles

                      African Mami are you secretly on instagram??????????

                    • Oshun

                      oh no dear.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Wait, what pic are you referring to??

                    • Oshun

                      there is one that you had up before, it looks like it was taken in the 70s….I cannot remember what you had on, all I know was that it, you was a dime plus ninety nine on it, and probably a quarter added onto alla dat.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite
                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Alright this one is going to stay for a while.

              • Yoles

                all i will say is i have to rethink acquaintances & associations from now on… it is said a drunk tongue speaks a sober mind… that has been noted

                • afronica

                  The drunk tongue thing is so true. People I thought were friends…

                  Sorry anyone made you feel less than great. Because you are Great (wid a capital G).

                  • Yoles

                    thx mama

              • LMNOP

                Who’s talking ish to Yoles?!? Who ever you are, ________, you need to start apologizing.

            • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

              You’re right. Just know you’re right.

            • Sahel

              Val,get with the program yo. Attend one of these things because the first rule about offline meets,they stay offline

              • Val

                So did you take the Greyhound from Mississippi up to the meetup then?

                • Sahel

                  Nah,being from the south is a 24 7 gig,had no time

                  • Val

                    Fall crops?

                    • Sahel

                      Nah,gotta make sure my southern drawl is on point,lol

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Yeen got no southern drawl…

                    • Sahel

                      That’s why am working on it y’all

                    • Oshun

                      you came from africa to pick cotton or what is happening? are you farming over there?!

                    • Sahel

                      Haha,no way man. Am just having some fun with Valentina

                    • Val

                      Lol.

                    • Val

                      Well, a British accent, depending on what part of Britain you’re from, is actually pretty close to a Southern drawl. After all, that’s really where the Southern drawl came from.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Is it really? I sound the furthest thing from British…

                    • Val

                      Yeah, the Brits were all over the South back in the day. Their accents morphed into Southern drawls.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Hmmm learn something new every day.

                    • Oshun

                      I love the southern drawl. I have a friend who sounds out America as Amerrucah, ohhhhhh LAWD! I looooves it.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Ummm that’s how it’s supposed to be pronounced.

                    • LMNOP

                      I don’t know about all this. I mean we evolved from amoeba* but we are pretty different from them now, I think british and southern accents are the same way.

                      *I know this might not be true, but please don’t ruin my analogy with science.

                    • ForeverCC

                      i had a coworker who studied linguistics – he did research on all the different types of southern accents (virginia, alabama, carolina, etc.) and where they originated. brits, scots, irish, french …it was really interesting how the accents mixed with the african dialects to make the “southern” sounds.

                    • Sahel

                      No. That drawl has nothing to do with an English accent

                    • Val

                      You know it does. And Jamaican accents are directly descended from Irish accents.

                    • iamnotakata

                      This is not true though..

                    • Val

                      But they are with West African accents mixed in.

                    • Sahel

                      They use standard English words which when pronounced sound Irish but from what i remember most of patois is a mixture of west african dialects and american english

                    • Val

                      Yeah, man, that’s what I just said. Lol

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      And Sahel wonders why we don’t bang with him/her lol

                    • Sahel

                      Ok,seriously. Am a dude. This him/her stuff has to stop.;

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Post a pic so we know you real den

                    • Val

                      But you are always going on about how women bring out the lesbian in you. So, sometimes you confuse us.

                    • Sahel

                      Clearly that is a joke man. Lesbians do women,thus i agree with that. You guys are just taking the piss lol

                    • Val

                      We need receipts! Show us!

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite
                    • Val

                      What do you think, AP, are we gonna let him slide with this profile pic?

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Iont een know. The back of his head looks kinda enticing but it could be the back of a woman’s head. So, nah. I can Google a pic of a soldier too!!!

                    • Sahel

                      Geez,look man. I cant put up a face pic because am under NDA’s.

                    • Val

                      NDAs?

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Oooooo Nondisclosure? You can slide a pic through my inbox on Tumblr. I won’t share it I promise.

                    • Sahel

                      Nope. Am not your average VSB.lol

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Hmph….whatever. The back of your head wasn’t enticing at ALL!!!! *storms off*

                    • Val

                      Yeah, good idea, AP. You can send me one through my tumblr too, Sahel.

                    • Val

                      Come on, Sahel, why are you teasing us! Is that you?

                    • Sahel

                      Now get off my back.

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      But Sahel, you look strong. Can’t you carry us?

                    • Sahel

                      Physically,yes. Emotionally,no

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      Who asked you to involve emotions?

                    • Sahel

                      Because you looked kinda emotional in that last avi

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      I’m still not convinced Sahel isn’t in fact, a woman either Val.

                    • Val

                      Lol.

                    • Sahel

                      Aha,my bad. Carry on

                    • Val

                      Here is a little on it. I saw a doc once about too but I can’t remember the name.

                      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamaican_English

                    • Yoles

                      now that was interesting…

                    • quiet_listener

                      Jamaican at mic stand. *taps* Is this thing on?: I can’t say it’s directly descended from Ireland but very very similar. *goes back to lurking*

            • Oshun

              who’s your guess??

              • Val

                I’m not going to say but if you think about it I’m sure you can figure who it probably was.

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            I’m sorry that happened to you :-(

            • Yoles

              thank you

          • PaddyfotePrincess

            Not cool at all. You were a trooper, though.

          • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

            The entire night? Even while I sat on your lap and watched the not lowkey dancefloor love?

            Ps- my scarf still smells like you and thats making this 23hr bus ride easier <3

            • Yoles

              yes even then…
              our scarf is in good hands… I’m glad its giving u some comfort

            • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

              be safe, mama.

              • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                Im on the scenic route goin thru every southern city….jesus be the atlanta perimeter, I wanna be homeeeeeeeeee already!!!

          • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

            and now I’m upset.

          • Sahel

            Ok,am a blunt man. What happened

      • PaddyfotePrincess

        I had a great time at the NYC meet up. Many thanks to Yoles, Joel, Mauricia, Bunni, Lily, Phil, Ricky, Maris.

        • Yoles

          it was a pleasure and a delight seeing you again R… i can’t wait to do Chi-town with you!!!!

          • PaddyfotePrincess

            It was great seeing all of you! When you come to the Chi, I got you.

        • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

          Your white castle rant will live on in my memories forever lol

          • PaddyfotePrincess

            I was doing the most and nothing at all at the same d*mn time, smh. Your hair is gorgeous.

            • Luca

              @bunni_bella:disqus is totally adorableness, I couldn’t keep my hands off her…. hair : )

              • Shamira

                girl YOU are stunning!

                • Luca

                  Pot calling kettle lol! I had a great time and can’t wait to see picts : )

                • Luca

                  btw forgot to give email cause I was staring at your bellybutton : O
                  wyldart5@gmail.com

                • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                  Aint she!!??

              • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                We were the curly gang!!

        • Shamira

          I love when you come around! Do it again soon!

          • PaddyfotePrincess

            I always have a blast at the meetups. I will be back soon.

            • Shamira

              this time I wont disappear into the night,lol. I swear I said goodbye to everyone but Yoles kindly informed me that I went ghost…

              • PaddyfotePrincess

                Lol – no problem. Next time there will be no escape from the fun and foolery.

    • Val

      I think there use to be a gay or bi guy that commented here, I can’t remember his name though.

      • Yoles

        there was!!!! 2 of them… one bi one gay, oh man maybe they are lurking… hey guys

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        …And there was a {{censored}} that used to post here. However, all they did was go after certain people whose ideas and thoughts were different from their line of thinking…

        • Val

          What’s the word in place pf censored, PA. It’s early, man. Lol

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

            I’m keeping it censored on purpose because I don’t want to “exorcise the demon”, if you will. All I will say is that next time you see a new or infrequent poster, pay very close attention to their Diqsus feed…and I mean very close attention…

            • Yoles

              for the love of god PA say what you are saying!!!!!

    • Shamira

      congrats on the W, AP. Glad Cam and co are finally getting their due shine. And the Giants won too, so it’s happy feelings all around :-)

      And it was such a pleasant surprise to drink with you! You gotta let us know the next time youre in NY/DC :-)

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        Girl ain’t nobody had drinks with you lol

        • Shamira

          LMAO i meant speak with you. Gotta stop making comments while half asleep!

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      That last point you made is interesting. Unless it’s clearly labeled a gay-friendly space, gay dudes don’t make themselves known, especially relative to the lesbians. I wonder why that is.

    • Maris

      Errbody was so purdy!! There was hair! And thigh-high boots! And crop tops! And a bar fight that didn’t involve anyone getting cussed out in French!
      Oh, some of the guys showed up, too. :-P

      • Yoles

        I’m saying… @disqus_5RH3V25df6:disqus wow showed up with belly skin all taunt & smooth… @disqus_QAASv0G2pU:disqus & i were #thighhightwins, @luca is so pretty i am at a lost as to why she doesn’t post a pic, @bunni_bella:disqus oh bunny, caressed my lap with her booty & lily looked curly hair cute too, mauricia let us grind up on @JayIzUrGod, @paddyfoteprincess:disqus was stunning as usual & came out to party… I’m loving every pic so far…

        • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

          I wanna seeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

          • Shamira

            girl, most of us who put pics on IG have open accounts, just go there!

            • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

              ok!

        • Shamira

          all of y’all were so goshdarn pretty! The men were nice too, I guess. lol

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        Mmmm I heard about you Ms. Maris ;-) You had someone quite smitten ma’am

        • Maris

          I aim to claim one victim per meetup.
          When is the next one in DMV again?? **ties @Shamira to the radiator**

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            That’s the spirit!

          • Shamira

            you seeeeee how she does me??? worst friend Everrrr

            • Maris

              Muahaha…

          • Sahel

            Your the reason Shamira ended up high and wet ey,nice

            • Shamira

              boy….what are you talking about????

              • Sahel

                Word is Shamira was like Texas tea

          • Luca

            LOL!

    • SuperStrings

      Sounds like NYC was the place to be over the weekend. We have to replicate that in the The Dirty Dirty.

      • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

        Yup. All the fun without the chexual harassment and name-calling (unless you’re into that sort of thing)

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite
        • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

          Had to do it. Sorry/not sorry.

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            I ain’t mad at it.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        I would show up, but then people would be startled and all the women would be scared of me- you know being tall and having a perceived mean-looking scowl on my face, LMAO!!!!

        • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

          PA!! You HAVE to come!

          • Sahel

            That’s what she said

            • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

              Oh man. I fell right into that one, didn’t I? lol

            • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

              She walked right into that one, LMAO!!!!!!!

  • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

    This reminds me of the parents of a little boy who allow him to wear tutus and paint his nails and such. He enjoys the color pink and glitter and refers to himself as a “Princess Boy”. His mother was so moved to write a children’s book about her son being a “Princess Boy”. Idk. I don’t think I’m going to encourage my son to be a princess when he can be a prince instead. I know this sounds insensitive but I know that children are cruel. I’d hate to have other children clowning my son and talking ish because I’ll hit a child……

    • Yoles

      well lets be honest…

      no matter what you do for you kids chances are they will get clowned in school by someone…
      no matter how many dresses a male puts on it will not make him want the deck, those are two different things… that boy wants to be a princess maybe because they have all the nice clothes, i don’t know but what i do know is if that kid is gay it sure wasn’t a princess dress and some glitter that made him that way

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        *deep sigh* Being a parent must be hard. You want your child to be who they are. Be accepted for the same. All that jazz. I’m still not comfortable with any son I have going to school in dresses, cute headbands, jewelry, etc. at such a young age. I just. I don’t know. I don’t know. I feel like I’ve probably offended some people. I’ll be quiet now.

        • Yoles

          AP i feel that this is a safe space to speak about your feelings and the confusion you are speaking about is totally justified… we are living in a society that puts everything and everyone in boxes and to even think about breaking down a wall is scary and normal… i find our discourse to be amicable and open… no offense here at all…

          as for the boy in question, yes there may be problems that arise from allowing him to dress that way for school, maybe a compromise of at home or on the weekends would suffice… parenting IS most definitely hard… i totally agree

        • Val

          Would you feel comfortable having a “tomboy” daughter that refused to wear dresses and girls clothes and only wanted to wear boys clothes?

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            No :-( I want my future daughter to have matching pencil skirts with me. We’re going to be twins everyday *sobs bitterly*

          • Val

            I guess the phantom dwnvoter is here. Lol

            • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

              they got you again lmao

              • Val

                He or she was getting everybody on Friday. Lol

        • Msdebbs

          I agree with you. You want what you think is best for your children. Some people don’t accept the gay lifestyle and wouldn’t want their kids to do certain things or act a certain way to give off that impression. To me that’s no different than not wanting your son to dress thuggish or daughter to dress slutty.

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            That is a very accurate statement and I thank you for it.

          • Yoles

            thuggish & slutty are perceived as character flaws & non trust worthy people but i do understand what you’re saying

        • LMNOP

          As a parent, you provide the clothes they get to pick from when they are getting dressed in the morning. Kids don’t get whatever they want, and it’s good for them to learn to deal with that at a young age. What you don’t pick is whether they go for the dresses or the fire fighter hats in the dress up corner at preschool.

          • Oshun

            thank you LMNOP. I pick. You dress. No questions. You can be a tomboy/princess/prince/king/nekkid on the weekend. You can express yourself, BUT not when going to school. Since when did kids start dictating how shid is run? uh uh.

    • LMNOP

      This is not really that uncommon, for preschool aged boys to want to dress up in princess dresses (because they are sparkly and great) and it is usually adults who tease boys who like to do “girly” things, not other 3 year olds.

  • http://www.sheuppity.com/blog SheUPPITY

    This post, in all it’s irony is everything. It’s sad how in this day and age people are still obsessed with sexual orientation, still obsessed with gayness, and still acting as if there is a “normal” way to be if you are a straight man.

  • Val

    Apparently if you’re Black and man all you have to do is exist and someone will eventually “accuse” you of being gay. And, that is 10x more likely if you’re a Black and male celeb.

    If you are a Black woman, make sure not to have a very close woman friend otherwise someone is very likely to accuse you of being gay. This is 1000x more likely if you are a Black woman celebrity.

    Note: I use the word “accuse” since those people who are guessing whether someone is gay are usually saying it in a accusatory manner.

    • Sahel

      Alicia i assume

      • Val

        Not just her, most Black women celebs deal with it at some point. From Oprah to Alicia to whomever.

        • Msdebbs

          Alicia?? really?? I never got the gay vibe from her.

          • Val

            Alicia has been “accused” of being gay since she came on the scene. Remember how she used to dress back in the day? She had the cornrows and dressed real hip hop-ish. That’s why people were saying that. With me it has always just been wishful thinking. Lol

            http://25.media.tumblr.com/f59a1962e4b4a566fd9eeb3b7b4d5dd7/tumblr_mps38kIa3t1qfj59do1_500.gif

            • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

              Yeah…you’re right. Up until like 3 years ago, people were questioning her HARD.

              • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                …And then she went from being an alleged lesbian to an unrepentant homewrecker within the span of three years- by the same people, no less! LOL!

                • Sahel

                  Synergy

                • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

                  Part of me wonders if the homewrecker stuff was a way to shut up the lesbian talk once and for all. Kind of hard for people to say you like chicks when you’re knocked up with other married dude’s kid.

                  • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                    I don’t think so. With Alicia, it was pretty much the same story as Angelina Jolie. They both entered a relationship with someone they knew were married.

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      What I find funny are the Black celebrities that get put through the gay wringer and are determined “straight”. Like is there some sort of Super Saiyan straight out there that I don’t know about? LOL

  • Sahel

    Congrats to AfroPetite. The panthers are not so bad in defense.

    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

      Are you serious right now? Since at least Week 2 I’ve been saying the Panthers have the BEST defense in the league. 49ers didn’t even SEE the end zone! 3 FG is what MY DEFENSE LET THEM HAVE! Don’t start with me. I’ve already had to check a plethora of people who have been sleeping on this stellar defense.

      • Sahel

        Well,the sucky offense distracted most of us

        • Val

          Lol. Oh snap.

        • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

          You know what? I’m riding this nice high tonight. You won’t steal my joy. Someone in the Bible said I am more than a conquerer. Peace be still.

          • Sahel

            Am not going to be condom and prevent your joy mate. But the offense was terrible,lets just be honest

            • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

              You can go fall face first onto a pile of Legos talking like that about my squad. I will fight you. Offense was better than 49ers offense. A win is a win. Say something else so I can go to my trunk. I ain’t smacked nobody in a long damb time……….

              • Yoles

                is legos code for something? some kind of new hip all the kids are saying it now slang????

                • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                  No lol the actual toys that you put together and build things with.

              • Sahel

                Panthers get massive help from the defense. And what wins championships,lets just say it wont be Cam

                • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                  This is why you cannot have nice things…

                  • Sahel

                    Define nice

      • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

        We’ll see in a few weeks. Those Jets are the truth defensively.

        • Joel

          Can’t roll with you on that one….they did give up 49 to the Bengals.

      • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

        I’ll give you that. I traded Carolina’s defense for Dallas’ defense earlier in my fantasy football season and I’m kicking myself now. They’ve really pulled it out…I remember when the Panthers made it to the Super Bowl. Now let me go finish crying salty Bucs tears into my cereal from all the props I just gave ya’ll.

        • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

          It’s ok girl. Maybe y’all will beat the dusty Dolphins tonight!!!!

          • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

            Look, the Jags done upped the ante and got a win. My Bucs gotta do something lol.

            • ForeverCC

              Dear Jags,
              Merry Christmas.
              Signed, Titans

      • Joel

        I have no problems with Carolina’s defense.
        But for the love of Pete, Cam Newton has got to be the most schizophrenic Fantasy football player OF ALL TIME. I start the man, he stinks up the joint. I bench him, he goes Magilla Gorilla. lol

        • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

          Never start Cam :-( he’s so unpredictable

          • Joel

            Right. I’m about to drop him, honestly. I’m already out of playoff contention in the league in which I own him, anyway. (But I’m in first place in both of my other two leagues. Go figure. lol)

  • Val

    If you want to be disappointed in people while simultaneously being amazed at their ignorance and hatred, check out the Madame Noire post today titled “Would you date a bisexual man”. Wow, it’s scary over there.

    • Yoles

      i am not even gonna jump fool and read that…

      i understand peoples fears, somehow they believe that dating a bi person means they are more likely to leave or cheat even though bi is bi, cheater/leaver is cheater/leaver sometimes they overlap and sometimes they don’t just like everyone else… but preferences are preferences its just the way its worded like bi people especially men are the pariah of the world, like they can’t exist and be honest humans at the same time…

      • Joel

        But strictly from a logical (and mathematical) standpoint….doesn’t dating a bisexual person mean that potentially you’re up against twice as much competition?

        • Yoles

          wouldn’t logic dictate that it is always 50/50? either the person that you’re with is going to stay or they are not… do you count every viable male in the world in your hetero assessment of fidelity?

          • Joel

            That part is true. But dating a person that likes both sides of the spectrum means that there’s up to twice as many people you could get left in favor of.

            • Yoles

              that just seems so far fetched though… it truly comes down to either that person is with you or not… neither dyck nor clyt can take away someone that doesn’t want to leave…

              • Joel

                Not far-fetched at all. In this day and age, I must be aware of all possibilities when dealing with people. lol

                • Yoles

                  sounds like living in constant fear…

                  • Joel

                    Not fear at all. Ideally (speaking for myself now), I’d just find a woman that only liked men and none of this would matter. lol

          • LMNOP

            “wouldn’t logic dictate that it is always 50/50? either the person that you’re with is going to stay or they are not… ”

            Math is not my strong point, but I am pretty sure that is not how probability works. Like either we could have an apocalypse today or not, but it’s not 50/50.

            • Yoles

              i abide by the simpler math… either it is or it isn’t… thats the math us common non math folk use… no need for numbers or formulas or any of that shyt… nahmean

      • ED

        The article’s not anti bi actually. The comments on the other hand… Smh

        • Val

          That article is ignorant and kind of anti-bi too, Ed. I mean she uses Tyson Beckford’s photo shoot with a transgender model as an example. How does that even make sense?

          • ED

            I see what you mean. I think the issue with is more about do you still consider a post-op male to female transsexual a man still (clearly she does). Since she does, I think the example is appropriate. Overall though she’s highlighting that women not wanting to date bisexual men is more about their own insecurities.

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      FWIW, whenever I read that, people make the leap from “dude is bisexual” to “dude is a bottom” to “dude won’t protect when ish gets real”. I don’t see how one has anything to do with the others, but that’s life.

  • Oshun

    So apart from the slick talk that I read of downthread….who hooked up with who? who kissed a girl and they liked the taste of their cherry chapstiiiick?!?!

    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

      Right! I want ALLUH da juice!!!!

  • Cali

    YO AZZ said, “READ”!!!! LMMFAO! I am DEAD…