How Hotep Thinking Like Erykah Badu’s Robs Black Children Of Their Childhoods » VSB

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How Hotep Thinking Like Erykah Badu’s Robs Black Children Of Their Childhoods

Bryan Steffy/Getty Images for Nu-Opp, Inc

 

My childhood before the age of 10 had some big milestones. I moved to the US and learned English. I adopted Harlem as my hometown. I got my first self-purchased cassette—Sisqo’s underrated but absolutely flames Unleash the Dragon.

I had also seen and touched and touched an adult man’s penis, on multiple occasions, by the time that I blew 10 candles out on my birthday cake.

It’s been almost two decades since that chapter of my life, and specific dates (and memories, to be frank), escape me at this point, but the general context around the darkest part of my relatively happy-go-lucky childhood remain unchanged; namely, that shortly after my younger brother was born, my parents split for the umpteenth (but not final) time — with my father leaving a trail of unpaid bills in his wake.

An eviction, stint in a family shelter, and stint in a motel in the Baychester area of the Bronx later, my mother, infant brother, and I settled in a transitional housing facility on Morris Avenue, about a mile away from Yankee stadium. While my mom desperately worked to scrape pennies together and get us back to Harlem, she entrusted my brother and I’s care to the married couple with a young son next door. And for months I would head straight there after getting home from school, to a married couple that seemed to love themselves and keeping their family together in a way my parents never could.

Maybe that was the reason why it took months for it to clock as strange that the husband also liked to have “private” time with me. I’ve done the therapy and taken the time and can’t really give you a definitive answer there — understanding and parsing through trauma, unfortunately, isn’t really cut and dry. What I can tell you however, is that being the first born child of a conservative Muslim East African household, the bulk of this occurred while my mother (bless her well meaning heart) seemingly used Steve Urkel as her style inspiration for all of my clothing  choices after the age of 5.

Shockingly to almost no one — except apparently Erykah Badu — my mother’s affinity for putting me in high-water overall jeans didn’t deter a predator from targeting me. It’s almost as if…walk with me here guys…decisions made by sexual predators and rapists aren’t precipitated by whether or not they can see how recently you’ve lotioned your kneecaps.

Radical thinking here, I know! But hey, it’s no less radical than being a neo-soul artist and mother to a son and two daughters yet earnestly thinking that there’s something pragmatic in perpetuating the idea that it’s natural for adult men to have attraction to “women of childbearing age” — which, if we are going by that metric, is really as young as NINE — ultimately placing the onus on young girls to curtail the potential of the male figures in their lives to not foam at the mouth at pubescent lower thighs.

This is not pragmatism. It’s spreading the blame and responsibility for pedophilia to the children involved. It is robbing minors of their childhood. And, if it comes to this, victimhood. It is perpetuating this insane “men will be men and we need to accommodate for their innate nature to be savage beasts” logic that has been debunked time and time again.

It’s a false nuance to suggest there can be proactive measures done to help children and teenagers not get raped; a prayer cloth isn’t the barrier between whether or not an adult man will make the decision to try and touch you, and I don’t know what would make you think otherwise. It is hurtful and it is wrong.

Normalizing the compulsion of people who are gifted with the responsibility of guarding children’s lives — whether in an official capacity or a familial one — is not being “realistic.” It is allowing for a space in which predators can have a space in young lives.

It is not a kid’s job to accommodate adults in not sexualizing them. And no matter how nuanced you try to make it sound, the fact of the matter is that all roads outside of “targeting and raping children is wrong and the rapist’s fault only” ultimately lead to that end point. Folks are squinting their third eye so hard trying to find the 2nd side to the story that they are landing cross-eyed, Badu included. Which also ultimately serves as an upsetting reminder that our default inclination to associate iconic neo-soul artists with the attribute of being “woke” is not as accurate as them just being hotep as all of the fucks.

It’s a tough pill to swallow that our favorite incense stick waving artists continuously miss the mark on a wide swath on substantive topics; but as the evidence accumulates, it becomes harder to dismiss. Before this most recent incident with Erykah, she took the stage at the Soul Train Awards and openly referred to renowned predator R. Kelly as her ‘brother.’ Similarly, Jill Scott has been put under fire for continuing to cast doubt on the Bill Cosby allegations – another predator – as well as generally spreading hotep meme misinformation (to admittedly hilarious response on my end). Lauryn Hill, a woman who has undoubtedly been put through the wringer by the men in her life, has used her platform to promote problematic messaging about what women should or shouldn’t do to command respect.

These are all arguably mindsets that they’ve held for the last 20 years. However, many of us have used the last two decades to grow and evolve in our understandings of human interaction and social conditions and realized how flawed our previous convictions may have been, while some of our treasured artistic talents have seemingly treaded water. It is consistently disappointing to see your favorite artists expose the threshold of their inaccurate convictions, but it is also a painful reminder that while we may think we know the convictions an artist may have, we should be wary of projecting our ideals onto personas that have not indicated as much.

This assessment, however, does not absolve one of fault; when your myopic thinking casts harmful implications onto the demands and expectations of children in predatory circumstances, it is necessary to be openly and rigorously challenged. Entertaining Erykah’s line of logic over the past two days as anything other than thoroughly objectionable and abhorrent is doing a disservice to the kids it maligns, and this cannot be overemphasized. Diversity of ideas should not come at the expense of a child’s right to their innocence, and any challenge to that should be fiercely defended not just in our community, but all others.

Shamira Ibrahim

Shamira is a twentysomething New Yorker who likes all things Dipset. You can join her in waxing poetically about chicken, Cam'ron, and gentrification (gotta have some balance) under the influence of varying amounts of brown liquor at her semi-monthly blog, shamspam.tumblr.com

  • Good post, Sham! Damn, good post!

    • MrsRivera

      This has been a long standing tradition in the black community. I still to this day argue with Aunts Uncles and even my mom about why blaming the ‘fast tail girls’ is wrong. We need to protect our girls and for some reason even our own women can be against the cause sometimes.

      • It’s problematic on a lot of levels in regards to both genders. Arguing with older folks about how dangerous the “fast tail girls” theme is worse than running in sand while wearing a pair of Durango boots.

        • MrsRivera

          ? I apparently don’t like peace serenity and sanity at barbecues and fish frys.

          • From what I understand about fighting of any kind place and time are always key factors in victory.

          • miss t-lee

            Gotta try to set some of them folks on the right track.

      • TJ

        It’s crazy how the mothers, grandmothers and aunties will call a girl “fast,” before they hold the fathers, uncles, male cousins and neighbors accountable. It’s sick. Having a woman victim-blame you is one of the biggest let-downs. Unforgivable.

        • Wild Cougar

          Especially since “fast” usually means your body is developing and you haven’t learned to be ashamed of your anatomy yet.

          • HeyBooHey

            Always. And instead of showing these girls to value their body and not be afraid to speak up if anyone dares to devalue it, teaching them about their development overall, they’re bashed. I don’t play that, I talked to my niece about her body as soon as she started sprouting. Lift our girls up instead of tearing them down

          • RhetoricalReverie

            Or you have, and it doesn’t matter because you are visibly “curvy” and we all know big breasts and hips mean you’re a natural hussy.

            • Wild Cougar

              How you know about my life?!

          • Asiyah

            and if you don’t develop fast? well, then come the offers of having your ch*rry p*pped so that you can finally get curvy. then, of course, if you do get curvy, you’re loose. smh.

          • miss t-lee

            That’s exactly what is.

          • Furious Styles

            As with most shaming terms used towards women, it is given according to what men want to do to them…and I know we aren’t talking about women, but I don’t want to use “females”.

            • Wild Cougar

              Wow. I never thought about it that way but its so true. We get titles based on the intentions of others. That is SO effed up.

      • Asiyah

        I swear to God this is one of the few things that is universal. Blaming “fast tail girls.”

      • HeyBooHey

        It’s disheartening. Asking someone who’s been molested/assaulted, whatever is just blatantly wrong “what did you do?” instead of supporting her and helping her through a traumatic experience. How dare you turn it around and away from the adult in that situation??

  • miss t-lee

    Thank you for sharing your story Shamira.

    This line right here: “It is not a kid’s job to accommodate adults in not sexualizing them.” summed it all up for me.
    Children are never to blame for the actions of adults. To even suggest that they are is just dangerous.
    Badu and her backwards azz thinking really ticked me off the other day. A female student could wear a floor length burqa and if an adult male teacher is lusting after her, that fault lies with him, not with her.

    • Asiyah

      What I don’t understand is that people like Badu are quick to point the accusatory finger of misandry on anybody who speaks about the realities of rape when I feel it is much more “man hating” to see men as barbaric animals with absolutely no self-control who we must baby and protect from themselves. That shows absolutely no respect for men whatsoever.

      • miss t-lee

        It doesn’t show any respect for men. All men are not barbaric creatures who can’t control themselves, however people who cape for these types are quick to pretend so. Therefore continuing the cycle of victim blaming.

        • “All men are not barbaric creatures who can’t control themselves, however people who cape for these types are quick to pretend so.”

          But will be ready to light every torch when a white person calls us “Super predators”.

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          • Ari

            Now THIS. You better speak on it!

          • Steph Boogs

            Ain’t that it?

      • One would think this would be the hill many of us choose to fight on but nah.

        • Asiyah

          Men deserve better than this!

      • I’ve tried in the past, but the people who need to hear that message are the ones least willing to listen. In a warped way, men being savages is a safer place for them mentally.

    • Jacqueline

      “Children are never to blame for the actions of adults” –

      Yes, and part of the healing for the abused child, is convincing them that what transpired was not their fault. From what I have read this is the biggest component of an abused child’s healing.

      • miss t-lee

        I can believe this. Many feel like they did something to illicit that kind of attention, and it’s simply wrong. I wish anyone who has endured this type of abuse healing.

        • Jacqueline

          and the sad thing is that being abused can set a young girl down a promiscuous path. The damage these relationships due to young girls and boys is heartbreaking.

          • LMNOP

            Promiscuosness, increased risk of substance abuse and mental health problems, increased risk of being vicitmized again, trouble forming healthy relationships, and that’s just off the top of my head. The fallout from this kind of stuff can really be life-altering.

            • Jacqueline

              Yes, and sadly they may never fully come out of it. Think of how powerful their life could have been if they were just left the h*ll alone.

          • miss t-lee

            Indeed. :(

      • Tambra

        From personal experience, that part is much harder said than done. I was abused when I was about 9 and it affects me to this day and has affected my relationships platonic and intimate. I have a hard time trusting despite going through counselling.

        • Cole

          I feel you, I know this sounds cliche but calling on a higher power has helped me tremendously. Its so important to server a destructive past, but it must be done. For a year and a half, I have been dealing with this problem head on. It is super hard, but depressing it won’t lead to healing. I feel in my heart, I am almost there but in my mind that is another story.

      • Mary Burrell

        That is it in a nutshell

      • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

        You’re right.

  • This stuff is never easy to discuss. Thank you for this.
    Also…preemptive f*k you to the people considering bringing “logic” and “personal responsibility” to this discussion. Can’t tell you how many people I had to block after Badu’s twitter musings. She went wrong and strong for HOURS, man.

    • Is she still going at it or did smarten up and stop?

      • marcelle

        still going

        • So she’s become a living, breathing version of the giant pile of burning tires from the Simpsons?

          http://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/b5b8bcd2e08d8938ebcc5c6bdd02e167?width=650

          • miss t-lee

            Human tire fire.
            Dayum it mayne.

          • marcelle

            pretty much
            with many many hoteps and patriarchal princesses enthusiastically flinging themselves onto the pile

        • Am I the only that has trouble following twitter conversations? I went to Erykah’s page and couldn’t follow it at all.
          I guess I’m only used to news articles on twitter.

          • Val

            Nope, you aren’t the only one. I don’t really follow twitter so sometimes when I see the raw tweets all in a row, especially when there are relies, It takes me a minute to figure out what’s really going on.

      • cakes_and_pies

        Yes.
        “Underage women” Dafuq??????

        • marcelle

          this is even creepier when you realize that she HAS KIDS and talks this way. who tf parents a little girl and thinks of kids her age as “underage women”
          wtf is that

        • Ari

          It makes me wonder if she is a victim of abuse. My mother was abused by her uncles, and thought that by telling me to dress modestly and forbidding me from talking to boys she would protect me from being abused by the men in our lives. edit: And this is not to say that all of us who are abused follow this line of thinking, but to be so passionate about encouraging girls to cover up…

          • LMNOP

            My mom is the same way, and that seems like a pretty likely explanation for all this long skirts stuff.

        • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

          Erykah Badu is totally wrong on so many levels.

  • Tonja (aka Cheeks)

    Thank you for sharing your story, Sham. It gives me a sense of solidarity (because this type of shame-ridden trauma can make you feel alone af) AND extreme sadness that pretty much every Black woman I know has a similar story.

    Which is why I am forever impassioned to say: NOT EVER, in the history of history, has what we’ve worn protected us from rape/sexual assault.

    • LMNOP

      It’s so sad to me how many people are feeling alone with this kind of stuff, which is hard enough to deal with without the shame and loneliness of it. And then there are all these abusers getting public support.

      Just thinking about it has me simmering with rage right now.

      • Val

        “And then there are all these abusers getting public support.”

        I always think about RKelly’s victims. How alone and horrible they must feel just hearing his songs on the radio and even worse when someone like Ms Badu calls him her brother.

        • Jacqueline

          So perfectly said. He can be your brother, but when your “brother” does wrong you need to call him out. It is called tough love.

  • LMNOP

    I’m so sorry this happened to you, and thank you for sharing.

    It just makes me want to stab somebody that there are so many children being $exually abused, and all these people blaming children for being abused is a lot of what allows this to happen.

  • Val

    Brilliant post, Sham. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Sigh.

    As for Ms Badu; this is the same logic that says how women dress plays into us being raped or harassed. It’s not the potential victim’s or victim’s responsibility to protect the predictor from their predatory nature.

    And her caping for RKelly is horrible but unfortunately I see it all the time from women. I really do not understand why women cape for him other than to admit to themselves who he really is will force them to admit that they are part of the problem. So they double down on their support.

    This Hotep stuff can be humerous but it can also be dangerous when taken to the extreme. Yes we all know that throughout history Black men have been falsely accused of raping women but what does that have to do with Bill Cosby? When 100 women accuse a man of the same thing logic must override Hotep conspiracy theories otherwise Hotep beliefs become the very dangers that Hoteps constantly warn about.

    • Ari

      This right here: “Hotep beliefs become the very dangers that Hoteps constantly warn about.”

    • Wild Cougar

      I think it is a combination of low level thinking for survival and leveling. If you figure out what the victim did wrong, you can keep yourself safe by not doing that thing. If you habitually refrain from doing the thing that the victim did wrong, you can consider yourself as the smarter and better of your gender or race, or combination of both. It doesn’t matter if the “wrong” thing the victim did would not have prevented the attack, just so long as the low level thinker can convince themselves, it is good enough.

      • Val

        That’s a good explanation, WC. But at a certain point logic and actual facts have to come into play otherwise we really can’t make anyone safer. Prescribing a medicine is doing something but prescribing the right medicine will cure the problem. At this point we all need the right medicine.

        • Wild Cougar

          iono…….maybe you can come up with the right medicine.

          • Val

            Me? No. We all have to figure it out. And I wasn’t attacking your comment, I was moreso attacking the thought process you described.

            • Wild Cougar

              You misunderstand. I am saying that maybe you can actually come up with a solution. You’re smart. No reason it wouldn’t be you.

              • LMNOP

                I think there really needs to be some type of massive public health campaign to prevent $exual abuse. There really are ways to change social norms and large numbers of people’s beliefs and actions. Considering the level of harm this causes, this is really an issue for everyone, the same way smoking and drunk driving are issues for everyone.

                • I like the UK’s Sexual Consent and Tea campaign.

                  ‘Maybe they were conscious when you asked them if they
                  wanted tea, and they said “yes”. But in the time it took you to boil the
                  kettle, brew the tea and add the milk they are now unconscious … Don’t
                  make them drink the tea. They said ‘yes’ then, sure, but unconscious
                  people don’t want tea.’

                  Read more: http://metro.co.uk/2015/10/28/this-new-sexual-consent-and-tea-video-from-the-police-is-brilliant-5466392/#ixzz45qHI09Dw

                  • LMNOP

                    I’ve seen that and I like it.

                    I wonder how much of $exual violence actually is the result of people not understanding consent. Like clearly, raping a child is bad, it’s not a lack of information causing people to do this.

                    • Deep down I think most people understand consent and they just don’t care. The ones that know the abusers refuse to believe their cousin or uncle or babysitter is a predator. It’s easier to stick your head in the sand and pretend Mr. Jones down the block is just super friendly and a good role model, than to realize Mr. Jones is only super friendly to boys under ten.

                    • esa

                      i think people consistently underestimate the predatory nature found on the sociopathic spectrum; it goes from selfish disregard to blatant sadism.

                  • Mary Burrell

                    That was a great psa

                  • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

                    The link that you have shown has a very important message. All people have the right to their human autonomy.

                • esa

                  yes ! a public health campaign would be brilliant. i’d love if the campaign focused on exposing predators. there is so much information that could be made available; what to watch for, how they operate, their tools and tricks. make “The Sociopath Next Door” by Martha Stout required reading. sociopathy follows patterns, which increases our ability to predict for it. the better versed people are in their language and behaviors, the more power we will gain.

                  • LMNOP

                    That was a good book, I read it a few years ago and it’s pretty unsettling to think that 1 in 25 people in our country are sociopaths. I should reread it though.

                    • esa

                      i feel like that number is low. for a good long time i was orbiting a highly antisocial spectrum of society. and that made me realize the gradations of sociopathy. there are so many shades of violence: physical, psychological, emotional, intellectual, spiritual—they literally feed on the soul. i wish there were more books on this, more media that focused on exposure. imagine how dope it would be if people’s spots was getting blown up on the regular and they had to pay for their crimes.

                      like, did you hear about Nicole Kidman’s father’s death ?

                    • LMNOP

                      No, I didn’t. I think it’s really interesting too how different cultures have different rates of sociopathy. It’s the kind of thing where you can’t really appeal to people’s better natures to not act on it, so you basically have to rely on social norms and consistent punishment as deterrents. And those are things that we coul potentially have some control over.

                      Another book I liked on the general topic of living in a world filled with horrible people is “The Gift of Fear.”

                    • esa

                      “True fear is a gift.
                      Unwarranted fear is a curse.
                      Learn how to tell the difference.”

                      omg that’s glorious. i wish school was about teaching children the facts of life. i ain’t neva used algebra and i had to unlearn all that brainwashing that passes as history and English, but this kinda knowledge can save lives and expose predators.

                      real punishment is a deterrent, as is exposure and bankruptcy. i’m learning that justice is something within our power to enact; it takes its own course but it also respects agency. agency needs to be instilled, practiced, and upgraded, regularly. it also requires people to keep going, palante siempre !

                • trueletterson*vwfone@gmail.com

                  true but with the current definition of s3xual abuse a good loving mother or father caring for a child can be accuse and charged with s3xual abuse.

        • Epsilonicus

          “But at a certain point logic and actual facts have to come into play ”

          You have to realize that logic and reasoning are not overriding factors in the human experience.

      • Asiyah

        Definitely some sort of cognitive dissonance there

    • HeyBooHey

      The R Kelly caping is of gross proportions. There’s evidence, he never denies it, but people will bend earth to justify his actions. I can’t separate the art from the artist so I just stopped rocking with his music

      • I dont fukk with Robert Kelly in NO way..

        • Val

          Yeah, I can’t even listen to him when he comes on the radio. I have to change the station. His voice makes me ill.

      • Jacqueline

        R Kelly’s crimes were out there for everyone to see, we did not need anymore proof. He was not railroaded. His victims were young (poor) black girls and who in the world cares about them.

        I was living in Chicago during that time and it made my head bleed.

        • Ari

          I lived in Hyde Park and I also know things. The words that people use to rationalize his known behavior and attack the people who dare to mention his exploits out loud sicken me to no end.

          • Jacqueline

            I thought that when Jim DeRogitis began writing and investigating that that would have been the death knell. Nope. it really stands the persecuted black male spin on its head.

            Do not get me wrong there are black males who are railroaded, but he was not one of them.

            • Ari

              Correct. Unfortunately I think the investigation actually did more harm than good.

              • Val

                @Ari and Jacqueline, I’m not even from Chicago and I’ve heard tons of stories about him and how he used to troll high schools looking for prey in Chicago.

                • Ari

                  Out in the open in broad daylight.

                • Jacqueline

                  Wow – and he knew where to look – he came from those very neighborhoods and he knew how to play this.

                  My blood is boiling just reliving this…

                • Kas

                  Same here.

              • Jacqueline

                A fact that DeRogitis (sp) himself has spoken about in the last year.

        • HeyBooHey

          I went to school with a girl from Chicago and it was so well known how he was out there apparently. Blew me even more

    • Still haven’t figured out the continued R. Kelly support. I’m not smart though.

      • Denial….
        People that cape for celebs and public figures refuse to believe they can do anything wrong.

      • Deeds

        People don’t see anything wrong with what he did. They believe 14,15,16 is old enough to know what they are doing. All I can think of is teenagers are idiots, be the adult.

        • occupiesthethrone

          Working with teenagers really opened my mind to how they’re literally oversized children. No matter how “grown” they might look (and it irks me to no end that people believe having some boobs makes someone look like an adult. It doesn’t. These are still clearly children. I was a c cup in 5th grade and 5’1″, yet CLEARLY still looked like a 5th grader), as soon as you speak to them you KNOW they’re children.

        • esa

          Americans are inclined towards the presumption of innocence for criminals, which leaves them with an irrational compulsion to lay the responsibility at the feet of the victims.

    • Tambra

      The sad thing is that many mothers turn a blind eye. When I used to teach, I remember one girl, though she was what some persons called a hotfoot started running away. When the child spoke up she indicated that her mum had brought home a man for her. Persons excuse anything when they do not want to deal with reality.

  • Shay-d-Lady

    Thank you for sharing

    What I think disappoints me the most is the fact that the female child’s perspective is completely missing from the discussion! We are discussing “normal attraction” as if it is only normal for boys. Also. Since when is dressing appropriately and dressing modestly the same thing? And honestly why should anyone have to dress “modestly?” How is it protecting young girls to ignore their thoughts and feelings and centralize the male perspective as their guiding force for action?

    And we really need to talk about this idol worship we have that prevents us from having any real discussion when celebrities speak or act in problematic ways…

    • Asiyah

      “And we really need to talk about this idol worship we have that prevents
      us from having any real discussion when celebrities speak or act in
      problematic ways…”

      YES!

      and it’s been a long time. Good to see you here!

    • “And we really need to talk about this idol worship we have that prevents us from having any real discussion when celebrities speak or act in problematic ways…”

      I agree.

    • FrankiSideEye

      And we really need to talk about this idol worship we have that prevents us from having any real discussion when celebrities speak or act in problematic ways…

      Amen. I’d love to live in a world where we can appreciate a person’s work while also have an honest discussion about his/her effed up behavior – without using appreciation for the work to excuse the behavior. The idea that becoming an artist automatically makes one an idol/role model/spokesperson has long bugged the bejeezus out of me. They’re still just folks, and folks be fcuked up sometimes.

    • RhetoricalReverie

      That episode of the Carmichael show really made me think about how (if) I separate artists from their work, and if I even want to.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      You’re absolutely right. We need to stop making celebrities into moral compasses. They aren’t even close to it, when we have factual proof they do their dirt behind closed doors.

    • Simone_was_taken

      No one is above reproach.

  • Skegeeaces

    Bless you for sharing, Shamira! I agree 100%. The disappointment in grown people putting adult burdens on children is real. Let our children be children and f*** up the world of any adult who preys on them.

  • TJ

    Thank your for sharing your story with us Shamira. It’s crazy how common this is for Black girls.

    I need to understand what makes some women defend predators, abusers, rapists, etc. I want to know what goes through their minds when they cape for monsters. Like, are you trying to seek the approval and acceptance of men? Have you just accepted this as a part of life? It blows me.

    • LMNOP

      I think sometimes it is accepting and normalizing this as part of life so you can try to avoid dealing with how horrible it is. And sometimes I think it’s distancing yourself for the same reasons.

      I also think for some people who have never been victimized like that they point to victims behavior, appearance, circumstances etc. to differentiate themselves from the victims and be like “see? I’m not like that. That’s why things like this don’t and won’t happen to me and my kids.” It’s like they think blaming abused children works as a lucky charm to help them avoid it.

    • Asiyah

      Some women were abused themselves and seriously think of this as normal or defend these men because they might feel empowered by “forgiving them.” Lots of reasons. It’s all so sad.

    • I think part of it is internalized misogyny – society tells *everyone* (loudly and repeatedly) that women can’t be trusted, women are unreliable, women are childlike in reasoning, girls = women, anything in female form regardless of age is available for sale or can be taken with the right application of force if you’re of the male gender. You hear those type of messages enough times without any messages to counteract all that mess and you end up with women voting against their own reproductive rights, staying in abusive relationships, defending men who harm them, shouting down any other women who sees the game is rigged against them and tries to call attention to it.

  • HeyBooHey

    I’m so sorry about what happened to you Sham. But thanks for sharing your story. It’s not enough that children can’t be children in this world, but to be preyed upon…I get sick and think violence when I hear or read such stories smh. Because they’re adults. And these are children. Even in HS, you’re a child dam*it. I was there, I can attest to it, so thinking they have some sort of obligation to “prevent” a man from looking at them any kinda way is absurd. Be the adult, sexualizing a child is disgusting. And I don’t care if the “child” initiates, cuz that happens as I’ve seen. But as an adult you hit the brakes and let them know its wrong.

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