Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

How Do I Feel About My Child’s Education? Shhh, It’s Private

kidsI’m a product of public schools. I’ve attended public schools in Alabama, Michigan, and the most public schools of them all, Department of Defense Dependent Schools (DoDDS) in Frankfurt, Germany. Telling people that you attended school, public no less, in the state of Alabama often gets you side-eyes that register somewhere between the earthquake in Cali this week and a typhoon showing up in Kansas on the “I’m sorry to hear that” scale.

Despite my entire public school upbringing, I’ve found my education to be stellar. In fact, most of my closest friends all attended public school for at least the majority of their schooling, with smatterings here and there of a year or two spent in private school. All of my closest friends have graduate degrees. Amongst my squad are multiple PhDs, beaucoup lawyers, a few economists, etc. Everybody has at least a Master’s degree in something or other.

And here I am…putting my daughter in private school for her education.

On a purely cerebral level, it creates somewhat of a conflict of interest to me. I pay public taxes to live where I live to support schools I’d never send my child to (I do realize that  we all do this). In fact, there’s literally a school close enough to my front door that I could watch my daughter walk from the door INTO the school without ever putting on so much as a flip or flop. I always wanted to be one of those parents who supported the community and did his best to make his community better. And that’s still my goal…I’m just not about to sacrifice my child’s future towards that effort. To say the schools in my neighborhood suck would be a compliment. Such is the public school debacle that is DC Public Schools. I’ve written about this before at the beginning of the process towards looking for a school for my daughter.

Like most major cities, DC is a city full of people with means and people who mean to do really well but life got in the way, and thus our public schools probably rival most major school systems. Largely “not great” schools with a handful of really top notch public schools usually out of reach to those without enough money to own significant amounts of Facebook stock. There’s always the lottery process, but well, its called a lottery for a reason. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t win. And when everybody is aiming for the same schools, well, just like the odds of winning the actual lottery, your odds of winning decrease. Unlike the odds of winning Warren Buffett’s billion since it seems like the likelihood of that happening is about the same as me becoming in a white man AND being the first man to have a baby on the same day that Jay-Z gets sworn in as President of Texas.

I remember having a conversation with one of my best friends about the private vs public school process. He made a very valid point in that no matter what school we send our daughter to, she’ll likely apply to the same colleges (when we get to that road) no matter where she goes to K-12 because she’s always going to be smart and always going to excel. And that’s a very valid point. Point of reference, Young Panamontana is going to Spelman. She will likely be able to pull that off from anywhere. No shots. Just the facts, ma’am. But the issue there is the time between 5 and 18. Attempting to give your child the option to maximize their potential is where the questions start to arise. I know nearly every person with a child that they care about (the news really scares me sometimes with the stories of these people who clearly do not enjoy the parenting gig) spends at least sometime struggling with where to send their kids to school. Those lucky enough to live in districts where the schools are good are set. But the rest of us go on a mad dash towards choices. It’s a nerve-wracking situation because you want to make sure that you don’t make the wrong decision. It’s like getting into…actually, its not like at all…it IS getting into a relationship with a school where your hope your child will thrive and truly be able to shoot for that goal of being whoever they want to be.

It only sucks that in order for me to feel secure there’s very few public schools I’d be comfortable with. Charter schools are a great option here in DC but we’re already doing that and it’s time to let that ship Titanic. My child already goes to what is regarded as the most touted charter school for her age range in the city – the very school we’re pulling her out of is one many people are attempting to get their children into. But ultimately, you do what’s best for your child and in doing so, my family became one of those individuals who forewent the public schools for the private. And I couldn’t be happier.

As an aside, one of the biggest hangups I’ve had about private school has been the lack of diversity in most of these schools, namely The Blacks are obviously not very well represented. But let me tell you something, much to my surprise, quite a number of women I know went to private school which started more than a few debates about how well adjusted they are. Those debates often turn into what it sounds like when the HBCU vs PWI conversations start. Point is, via these conversations I’ve managed to realize that at the end of the day, my daughter has a father (and to a lesser extent a mother) who over-Blacks it at every turn. She’ll know who she is and where she comes from. There’s nothing like bringing that up in an admissions interview by the way. It’s interesting to watch the administrators reactions when you do indeed say,  “I’m concerned about the lack of Blackness here, since I’m pretty sure you can tell, our daughter is Black.” But it’s my job (and her mother’s ) to make sure her esteem and identity are in tact, not any school. So I let it go is the main bullet point. I just felt like sharing.

All this to say, nay ask, when it comes to your child’s (or future child’s) (or hope for your nieces or nephews if children give you the beegees), how much do you think about their education? You going public? Private? Home schooling?

Basically, how do you plan to teach the kids assuming that you believe they are the future?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. I’M A PAPPY aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • ratchet d-Ibaka

    If my child is raised in Africa, definitely without a shadow of doubt, private. If here in the states, it depends. I don’t have the time nor patience to dedicate to homeschooling, actually, I’ll be very frank, not interested! Those that do, kudos!

  • Geneva Girl

    I’m raising my child in Switzerland and she’s been in private school since she was three. At first she went to a very expensive, international school which we were not happy with, but it had English classes for native speakers in addition to the French curriculum. We then switched her to a parochial school in France because it was much cheaper.

    Although the Swiss public schools are generally quite good, like any where else in the world, it depends on where you live. Despite paying too dang high rent our neighborhood public school isn’t so hot. The local school is full of kids who live in the apartment complex that the locals call Little Chicago. I kid you not. My kid is not going to school with a bunch of gangsters. One thing though the schools in Geneva, at least, are very diverse, lots of kids of all colors and backgrounds.

    We’re moving house and will live in a small village with a reportedly good, small public school. We’re going to give that a try in September. I’d like to move her back to private school for high school, but I don’t know if we’ll be able to swing 35k a year and still save for college.

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Sorry, but the visual of Swiss thugs is making me laugh. Like seriously? You want to be known as killers in a country known for chocolates and watch making? Really dog? Maybe they should send them to Chicago in a school exchange program. They’ll straight up RIGHT quick when they see real thugs. LOL

      (Oh, and if you can get me a hookup for Roche or Novartis, that would be great, thanks. :) )

      • panamajackson

        I think this is how I feel about “thugs” in places like Norway, Finland, Sweden…etc basically countries not really known for unrest. Unfair I know, real ninjas do real real things and all…but still. It is hard to visualize.

        • Geneva Girl

          The thugs here I worry about aren’t ninjas, but French and Eastern Europeans. They may be from just across the street, literally, the French are blamed for much of the crime.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        I wonder how much of that is a function of the negative view of refugees that take up residency in these countries. I know that Italy throws much shade at the Africans that reside there.

        • Geneva Girl

          While we do have refugees, the folks in the apartment complex are immigrants, most likely legally, Eastern Europeans, Middle Easterners, Latins, Africans, you name it.

      • Geneva Girl

        Okay, the hoodlums are not all Swiss; they’re everything. As I said in my post, Geneva is an incredibly diverse city. There are publics schools with kids from more than 100 nationalities. Little Chicago got it’s reputation from its large immigrant population. I’d say that the largest ethnicity there is Portuguese.

        Still, when I see these little rough necks rolling down the street with their silver chains around their necks and their pants falling down their behinds speaking French, I just laugh!

    • Val

      In other words the same problems exist all over the Western world to differing degrees.

  • Sahel

    Am a mixture of both public and private. The one thing i noticed was that in public schools you got an education but in private schools you got one more added benefit,connections. Fact of the matter is we all worked our butts off hoping to end up in top universities which are private because of the doors that opened because of these schools.Fact remains if you present a degree from Oxford or Harvard you will be taken more seriously as they are not seen as ” Party Schools “

    • JayIzUrGod

      Agreed. Public school comes with no connections unless you are a valedictorian or have a family member in a high position somewhere. All the work you do in a public school means nothing if you can’t flip that the moment you step towards college and employment with the conscious notion that you have to network like a monster. I guess the point would be, public schooling never notifies you how badly you need representation to vouch for you.

      • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com/ Ricky

        Ideally, you should have more to show for yourself when you graduate college than the degree and a nice GPA.

        • JayIzUrGod

          Ideally but most of us just don’t. And its so sad.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        *peeps head into thread*

        I’ll disagree with you on this one. Public schools always provide excellent accommodations to smart students and challenged students. The excellent students are in small AP classes away from students who want to cut a fool. The smart students are linked into the college advisors / college process early. The smart students parents tend to travel in the same packs.

        The challenged students tend to have parents who advocate fiercely on their behalf. The challenged, not behavioral, students are in specialized classes away from students who want to cut a fool. The school and the parents of challenged students work together in an attempt to map out a plan for the child’s success. The challenged students parents tend to travel in the same packs; often sharing information on schools, education methods, and seminars.

        Kids in the middle get d!cked. Schools seem to go along to get along. Too many kids find out too late they are not on a path to graduate or are not aware of the steps needed to apply to college.

        • basilblues

          “the challenged students tend to have parents who advocate fiercely on their behalf”

          yes, yes and yes. that was definitely my mother. every year i was in a new class, she was up there introducing herself to my teachers saying, okay, here’s my daughter, here’s what i know she’s capable of, let’s make this work.( mainly this was because when i was really young they tried to diagnose me with ADHD, but my mom never went for that and i eventually calmed down. i was just bored, like most kids.)

          debating the merits of public vs private is secondary to what the parent(s) are willing to do first.

          • LMNOP

            The formal diagnosis route for kids with ADHD is not all bad. My daughter has it and had behavioral problems in school, and after getting that diagnosis and a 504 plan, things have really improved. And it changes the focus from “why is this kid being a pain in the azz” to “how can the school better meet this child’s needs” and it comes with legal backing, whatever is put in your child’s 504 plan or IEP the school has a legal obligation to provide.

            • basilblues

              oh, i’m not saying it’s bad. and my mom took me to get tested to be sure and i met with child behavioral specialists and it was determined that i didn’t have it and was just not being challenged/stimulated enough by the classwork. and i never acted out, i was just super talkative and a little hyper. but i could always focus when i needed to and as i got older i just settled down.
              my mom’s issue with it was, they were just throwing it out there as the issue because they didn’t seem to want to take that time to work with me as a student that needed more. and she didn’t want to put me on medication unnecessarily. she liked my energy :) but it was weird. for a moment at my school having add/adhd and having to go take your medicine was almost en vogue so many kids were claiming to be diagnosed with it. private schools can be a bizarre place.

              • Epsilonicus

                People have to understand that schools will err on the side of getting you tested bc if they don’t many of them could be liable (depending on your district) and get sued. So they do it to cover their behinds.

        • PhlyyPhree

          Again, I halfway agree.
          As someone who has been through that system and as the daughter of an administrator to a public school system, I will say that IF you’re lucky AND your school has the resources than you may have access to specialized classes for the gifted as well as the challenged.
          HOWEVER, if the resources aren’t there for those classes, then it means that you’re student will only be slightly above the “middle” student that you just described.

          • Sigma_Since 93

            I agree. In my first thread of the day, I said:

            “The public school vs private school debate. It always comes down to a couple of things:

            Level of student preparation
            How WELL resources are used
            The resources at home
            The ability / willingness to utilize both your home and school resources
            Advocacy for special needs students”

            Sometimes schools have the money and fail to allocate resources effectively or don’t have the resources and then need to ask for the money. The agreement for private schools is that you’re paying for those resources to be put in place. My private school was teaching us how to program in basic on apple ii c’s with the floppy disks years before the public school’s got computers.

        • JayIzUrGod

          I can only attest to my experiences. I grew up in Bedstuy which was a warzone in the 90s, but my public school had a really high reading and math statistic for the area, so by 3rd grade, i was already processing information at a 6th grade level.

          Then i moved into a better area area with a better school, only it wasn’t better. I was too smart for my grade but couldn’t skip grades because of the timing of my transfer. I couldn’t get into remedial courses either because i was still too adavanced. I was forced to dumb it down and endure until 5th grade. By that point, i literally regressed and it never got better since.

          My parents didn’t have money or connections, so i was one of many children during the Dinkins/Giuliani era that got screwed.

  • Pillows McGee

    I’m a product of private school from 2 years to college, never stepped a pinky toe In public unless visiting my grandmother who taught in only public schools for over 40 years .

    Point is b/c of my experiences I’m a HUGE advocate for private school. I feel as if I got a great education pre college and here is the kicker…for all of those years from age 2 to 17, except for 2 years in 6th and. 7th grade. My schools were ALL black unless you throw in the occasional mixed child. High school was an equal mix of black and Hispanic but aside from those two years ..these private shools were black..

    At any rate …again…I’m a strong advocate for private school..I feel like I should mention I now teach in public school, started 2 years ago and this only strengthened my private school advocacy

    • nillalatte

      A long time friend of mine will retire from teaching in the public school system back home soon. She had one kid and she made sure she enrolled her in private school. Not just any private school, but Vanderbilt. I think it is a bit hypocritical of public school teachers to send their kids to private schools. Not wrong, just hypocritical.

      • afronica

        Have to say, I don’t see the hypocrisy. One concerns your job and the other concerns your family. Now if you’re heavily involved in education policy and crusade on the private ed is destroying public ed tip, then yeah, hypocrite you are. Otherwise? It’s like working any other job.

        • camilleblue

          Yeah…my mom spent her entire teaching career in the public school system – almost entirely at the same school at that, and I went to private school until high school. She wasn’t interested in losing her seniority and #whatnot to try to teach in a private school! and truth be told, she served best as an advocate for the many underprivileged kids in her school. She’s been retired for years and she STILL has former students reaching out to her. I can’t tell you how many times I have had people walk up to me and tell me how much they loved my mom as their teacher and what a difference she makes. So, yeah…no hypocrisy there.

          • afronica

            This was my reality, too. My grandmother (who raised me in part) was a retired public school teacher. Maybe that’s why we don’t cotton to the hypocrisy argument, though. Too close to home, perhaps?

      • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

        And this is why the public school system should exist. Elitists and educators like your friend want civic engagement for thee, not for me. Selfish jerks.

      • panamajackson

        I’m not completely sure I agree with the hypocrisy…but I do understand how you’d feel that way. How would you not send your kid to the school you teach at? Then again, if you teach in the worst school in an area because you’re trying to make a difference – maybe its working maybe not – do you need to subject your child to that as part of your crusade?

        • me

          Thank you…I hate that words can make me upset sometimes. I couldn’t figure out a way say what you just said without anger re this subject. I refuse to expose my child to the bull that public schools are in the SOUTH just to seem like I’m down for the cause. It’s a trap.

          • PhlyyPhree

            I get it. I want better for the community and I will do my part to advocate for better for the community, but while I am working to get better, I will NOT sacrifice my child in order to prove a point.

  • nillalatte

    Well, PJ, with 3 of them, I could barely afford a quality daycare much less private schooling. Like their mom, my kids are going to products of the public educational system from elementary to college. In fact, my oldest is in grad school working on her MEd in Equity and Diversity. She already holds a BS in Speech Pathology & Audiology. She received/will receive both from a public university. My younger daughter graduated high school receiving an Honors Diploma and is working on her undergrad in computer information systems through a public university. My son is in public middle school.

    When all is said and done, why do we strive for a piece of parchment that represents a crap load of (maybe) useful knowledge? To be employable, right? But, I want my kids to be more than just employable. I want them to have the knowledge that allows them to be creative and create their own options. I have supplemented their academic education with extras from Girl/Boy scouts to community events to learning to volunteer and helping others. I am a parent first and I tell them their actions represent me. I have expectations and my children know what they are. If mom is out here gettin her hustle on, then they know I’m looking at them to keep up. The degrees might get you in the door, but getting a job boils down to being a good fit within an organization.

    Food for thought tho: my professors at TSU taught the same classes at Vanderbilt for about (at the time) $500 per credit hour more than at TSU. There was no difference between the material, just the prestige of the Vanderbilt name that made that ‘knowledge’ more expensive. A friend of mine, now deceased, that graduated from Vandy’s Nursing Master’s program stated that she paid a lot of money for her degree, but it didn’t seem to mean a lot. It’s not really where you go, but what you get out of it that makes all the difference I suppose.

    • Sahel

      I beg to differ. Where you go matters..Just look at wall street,silicon valley and all the other high earning areas outside of entertainment and sports. Most of these places the positions are akin to patronage,the right school opens the doors for you much faster

      • nillalatte

        That’s what ‘the system’ wants you to believe. Let me ask you, where did Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Michael Dell graduate from college?

        • Sahel

          They did not,but being a drop out from Harvard or Stanford helps

          • nillalatte

            LOL… okay, I’m gonna apply to Stanford just so I can drop out. LOL… where did you learn logic? Was it in public education? *shots fired :D

            • Sahel

              It’s not the logic. Fact is these guys you mentioned are pretty bright. If your children passed their high school exams and got accepted to the Ivy League. You won’t let them go ?

              • JayIzUrGod

                Half the kids who could go to Ivy Leagues can’t afford the amenities that come with it despite the scholarships, that’s what makes it even crazier

                • Sahel

                  Very true,am not disputing that. But i know the power of these schools and i have witnessed it first hand. The name matters a whole lot no matter what Nilla says.

                  • JayIzUrGod

                    I agree with you. If I dropped out at Columbia, that would look way better on my resume than having dropped out of Howard University.

                    • Muddy Waters

                      …unless you’re Puffy…

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      Take that, take that.

                      That’s a rare occurrence though

                  • nillalatte

                    Again, the name might get you in the door, but it may not get you the job. I’ve witnessed this a bunch of times. But, it’s cool. :)

                    • ratchet d-Ibaka

                      it may NOT get you THAT job, but let’s be honest, your connectivity to THAT school will get you ANOTHER one, in a ny minute.

                    • Sahel

                      Dude,Harvard provides you with a buffet. It’s like being in whore house,you will get lucky no matter what

                    • nillalatte

                      LOL… okay, y’all. Let me ask you… you’re the employer and you have ONE job to fill. It’s a Director/VP position. You get 200 applications for this ONE position. HR whittles it down to 10 (based on a computer system that identifies keywords and their # of occurrences within a resume (kind of like an SEO for webpages, which btw, is quite frequent these days)). You look at those 10 resumes and ALL of them have degrees from Columbia, Harvard, Stanford, Yale, MIT, Vandy, and the like. Which candidate gets the job?

                    • ratchet d-Ibaka

                      The candidate with the credentials the position calls for. I could care less for your name brand degree, can you perform? yes, alright, leggooo.

                    • nillalatte

                      Exactly mama. Performance delivery is key.

                    • ratchet d-Ibaka

                      But here is the thing though, you may be under a lot of pressure to hire that MIT grad, esp, if that resume got to your desk through special forces. lmao!

                    • nillalatte

                      LOL… I know, huh?

                    • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

                      “Which candidate gets the job?”

                      The one referred to you by your frat brother from Harvard, his nephew, who might not have graduated from Stanford, but came with a voucher.

                      You guys are discounting the value of network. It’s been found that minorities are losing out on jobs more so because they can’t infiltrate the who-you-know that gets people recommended to jobs not necessarily on job boards. It’s a little deeper than a name and a rap sheet of experience.

                    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

                      Word. The fact that I went to where I went to school helps me get inside tracks on various things, and I’ve freely lent my network out to others, especially Black folk. That said, I’m only one person.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      And those places create access to those networks.

                      As a graduate of private school I can tell you about access.

                    • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

                      Exactly. Feeder schools and other enclaves strengthen the networks in communities that have dealt with each other for years.

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      “Which candidate gets the job?”

                      “The one referred to you by your frat brother from Harvard, his nephew,
                      who might not have graduated from Stanford, but came with a voucher

                      or B

                      The person who correctly answers the following question: Desired Salary: __________

            • JayIzUrGod

              Sahel has a point though. those few you named are exceptions to the rules. For the vast majority though, either the door has been opened for you by old money or connections, or you can WATCH the door as others more fortunate go through it. We won’t all be lucky. I’m a city government employee. Had a gotten a scholarship to Princeton like I originally aimed to, or if my wife went to NYU like she aimed to when she got her scholarship but couldn’t afford the rest of the tuition, neither one of us would be broke as heck, living paycheck to paycheck, I guarantee that.

              • Epsilonicus

                Just wanted to share:

        • Andrea

          And Bill Gates is by definition an outlier….He made it into the book…lol. Was Steve Jobs in the book? I believe so.

    • ratchet d-Ibaka

      excuse me?!?!? I thought your kids were in high school. damn, ma. are you the second coming of Methuselah?

      • nillalatte

        LMAO… Not quite THAT old! But, I have recently noticed a lot more gray in my hair – and I’ve decided to go natural. ;) I’ve not ever really come straight out about how old I am, nor have I ever shared here that much about my kids. But, PJ is special (and I don’t mean in a short bus kinda way. lol)

        • panamajackson

          Even if you do mean it in a short bus kind of way I appreciate it. *hugs*

    • JayIzUrGod

      You without a proper picture is flat out denial of your proper title as MILF.

      Aight. Do you, love.

      • Sahel

        Tell me about it smh,these women with no avi’s.

        • afronica

          Watch out there now. Pot, kettle and all that jazz..

          • Sahel

            Val knows what i look like so am credible

            • afronica

              She may remember what that fleeting glimpse of the side of your elbow looked like in that camo, but ehhh, nawl. I call foul.

          • nillalatte

            I was thinking the same damn thing!

          • JayIzUrGod

            I’m laughing now, this is going to be the battle of the Absent Avi

        • JayIzUrGod

          I let a few slide, but my patience is wearing thin.

          • afronica

            Wayment, wut? Et tu, J?

            • JayIzUrGod

              I adorn you, so you get the pass. Don’t mean I’m not curious though.

              • afronica

                “Just let my love adorn you…”
                *muah*

                • JayIzUrGod

                  I knew that you would know what i wanted you to know..

                  • afronica

                    The funny thing is that I know you’re manipulating me, but I like it. Smh.

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      I would never. I’ve grown too fond of you to be a puppet master.

                    • afronica

                      …which is exactly what a good puppet master would say. Remember J, one of the reasons why we get along is because I’m (we’re?) so cynical about folks.

                      Either way, your wife is a lucky woman. *curtsies in her general direction*

                    • Sandpaper

                      Since you appear to like Scorpios, Let me interject(I know the homie Rewind doesn’t mind) with a small gift for you. Since you are an avid reader like myself and was appreciative of book websites, I came across another one that has most of the books that I couldn’t find at the previous site I gave you. It’s ebookoid.com. Give it a try.

                    • afronica

                      *wonders if I do like Scorpios since I am one*
                      *wrinkles nose in confusion at nice tone from Sandpaper*

                      You have an excellent memory. And you’re so helpful. I like the interface on that site, it’s so clean. They do have books by a couple of my authors on deck for next reads. They seem to have bit of a yo ho ho and a bottle of rum rep, though. I’ll try them. Thanks!

                    • Sandpaper

                      About the niceness…I’m of the school of thought that says negative reinforcement is better than positive reinforcement. That’s why asswhoopings work better than timeout.

                    • afronica

                      Oh I know, hence the confusion. Now you’ve got me wondering when my whooping is coming.

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      You give me too much credit. True, my inner soul is like that of a James Bond villian, but i am honest about who i like and what i like

                      And your partner should know he has a rare flower in his garden of hope.

                    • afronica

                      *blushes and smiles on the first day of Spring*

                    • Sahel

                      Smh,what a girl

                    • afronica

                      So *peeks up through lashes* is that good thing?

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      *plays There Will Be No Rain by Far East Movement*

                      All you right there.

                    • afronica

                      *fires up YouTube, searches, listens, succumbs, adds to playlist, replays*
                      *wonders how J arranged the weather, the Equinox and this song to perfectly align*
                      *accepts that J is a wizard*

                      Thank you doesn’t really cut it, but thas all I got. So…thanks…

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      *takes a bow*

                      Always at your service milady

                    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

                      Damn now I’m curious

                    • afronica

                      Ah no, you’re the curiosity. You are the king of the 140 character quip. Brevity, soul and wit? Nice combo.

                    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

                      Show u mine, u show me yours?

                    • afronica

                      But I don’t play doctor (and nurse)…at least not until the first date.

          • Sahel

            They should emulate A.P and Maris. Not Val,definitely not Val

            • JayIzUrGod

              Val has clearly read Batman comics and taken them seriously when it comes to keeping identities safe.

              • Sahel

                Am on of the few who saw what she looks like when she gave us a facial awhile back. That one eye crap is freaking me out. Why can’t they be like Camille or Kema,boobies or A.P showing dat azz.

                • JayIzUrGod

                  You know how ladies are, always gotta leave something to the imagination, but never bother to ask who’s imagination we are talking about here.

                  • Sahel

                    Obsidian perhaps

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      If that were the case, their boobs would be censored by 20 page essays

                • afronica

                  My take is that AP has cakes enough to cover at least two other women, so that’s my share right there.

                  • Sahel

                    I see,so what you are saying is you have a big azz too

                    • afronica

                      Not at all. My assets are located – oh, whoops. *bats eyelashes* Did I almost give myself away?

                    • ratchet d-Ibaka

                      north and/or south? east and/or west? or all?

                • ratchet d-Ibaka

                  Val is INCREDIBLY stunning, like mama mia.

                  • Sahel

                    She told me i could date her sisters and cousins

                    • ratchet d-Ibaka

                      ok.

                  • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

                    She’s also horribly elitist and would probably mandate that I work a warehouse somewhere because I didn’t kiss the ring of the Black establishment. Whatevs.

                    • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

                      LOL

                    • Val

                      Every day you find ways to attack me. You stalk me in the comments every day. You always have something negative to say to me or about me. This even tough I haven’t even responded to one single comment you’ve made to me or about me in months.

                      Everyone gets it. You “hate” me. (your word) You think I’m elitist. You probably think I shot down that Malaysian airplane and know who kidnapped the Lindburg baby. You’ve made your point over and over and over that you think I suck.

                      So, since you’ve had ample opportunity to make your point, I’m asking you to leave me alone. Please stop stalking my comments. Please just leave me out of whatever you have to say. Your point has been made and everyone gets it.

                      Please just leave me alone. Thanks.

                    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

                      Of course, I’d never accuse you of shooting down the Malaysian airplane.

                      Everyone knows it was probably Beyonce. :)

                      Take care Val.

                    • mw

                      You ok man? Last time you been to therapy? I go and it helps if you stop being scared and address your issues. That’s why you tried to make a whore into a housewife. You are your problem now….not what happened to you as a child. Confront your mother and call her the bitch that she is so that you can see the bitch that you are and then change. You’re raising a child…get it together.

                    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

                      Funny that you’ve mentioned that, because I am in full awareness of all the things you’ve mentioned. And yes, I have dealt with all the issues you’ve mentioned. Be well Star Child. :)

                    • Sandpaper

                      I think you should go ahead and explain why you really dislike Val. You have dropped plenty of hints but most have to have it explained at a second grade level. I will drop this hint for those that may be open-minded and clever enough to begin developing a clue. Most of his dislike for her is existential. He cares about YOU. Stop the group-think and look outside of yourself.

                    • Val

                      No more needs to be said.

                    • Sandpaper

                      A whole lot more needs to be said. One day someone will.

                    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

                      I think you’ve got the gist of it. I’m very much anti-establishment by instinct, mainly because of the role establishments have in perpetuating themselves and the abuses therein. Once you understand that impulse, you understand a lot about how I view the world.

                    • LMNOP

                      Is Val pro-establishment? I must have missed that…

                    • Sahel

                      Val and Todd are the new Obsidian and Sweet Sass. Don’t try to understand this

                    • Sandpaper

                      Which one is doing the teaching?

                    • LMNOP

                      Okay. I won’t lol.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      I can see Beyonce doing that. She likes attention.

                    • ratchet d-Ibaka

                      The FUCK?!

                      I don’t do meow meow.

                  • Freebird

                    i cant confirm but that is one stunning eyeball.

                    • Val

                      Lol. :-)

                  • Val

                    :-)

                • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                  *snickers at “gave us a facial”*

                  • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

                    is it bad that I would like to see that? lol

                    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                      Being that Sahel said it, it can only be taken one way, LMAO!!!

                    • Sahel

                      whose side are you on

                    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                      I’m on your side, but you know you are the king of double entendres, LOL!

                    • Sahel

                      I don;t have an English degree,the King you want is tiny and lives in Florida

      • nillalatte

        It ain’t a ‘proper’ pic, but here’s about a 1/4 of me. LOL @ the MILF.

        • ratchet d-Ibaka

          in that pic you look like your name would be Hannah Jones.

          • nillalatte

            who da hail is Hannah Jones?

            • ratchet d-Ibaka

              i don’t know who the hail they be. I just came up with a name that looks like that pic.

        • JayIzUrGod

          Proper for what? A robbery spree?

          • nillalatte

            I have another… wait for it… wait for it….

    • panamajackson

      I understand the sentiment but I’m with the others. Even at an HBCU, Morehouse carries weight. It just does. Everywhere I’ve gone where a Black person has been involved in the process, Morehouse gets me a point.

      Case in point, one of the schools we looked, the director of admissions was a Spelman grad. My daughter’s mother also went to Spelman. Let’s just say, that SpelHouse bond was immediately established in interviews, etc. She referred to us as “her folks”. So yeah, knowing a lot and getting the most out of an experience is paramount, but connections and networks are very real and do make a difference.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        Real Talk

        My guidance counselor talked me out of applying to Morehouse. He told me straight up the ‘House was a good school but the school’s name wouldn’t hold the same weight outside of Georgia, the white executives at the Fourtune 500 companies weren’t as progressive in their diversity hiring as they would lead on, and there weren’t enough HBCU graduates at the C suite / hiring ranks to leverage networking opportunities.

        • PhlyyPhree

          She may have thought she was doing you a favor, but I believe she lied to you.
          I cant personally claim the connection because I’m a woman and I didn’t go to Morehouse, but I have friends who went there and I’ve seen the connections work for them.
          I graduated from an HBCU and when I tell you that the respect I get from 2520′s when I drop that on them is awe-inspiring?

          • Sigma_Since 93

            How many years ago are you talking about? I went to high school in the late 80′s early 90′s My man was on point; certain HBCU’s were looked at as OK but not OMG you went to (insert HBCU here)!!!! Things have certainly changed but he didn’t want me getting caught up in the close mindedness of the day.

            • PhlyyPhree

              Ah. That may explain it. I’m a fairly recent grad. Yay post racial America

          • 321mena123

            I agree with Sigma.

        • SuperStrings

          Most of the administration at my high school tried to talk me out of going to Morehouse for the same reasons. I’ve never had a problem getting the positions I’ve wanted. Aside from keeping my grades up, I made sure to intern at the same places as those students from the Ivy’s. So, no matter how much a potential employer might have wanted to discredit or devalue my Morehouse education, when they saw that I interned at NASA or Jet Propulsion Laboratories, or that I worked on a spectrometer that went to Mars on a rover, in the same environments as their Ivy counterparts, then there really wasn’t much they could say.

          • NomadaNare

            Exacamally. The school may or may not be a hindrance depending on the where you apply, but once they see you’ve interned/worked at every place under the sun, don’t nobody tell you nothing.

        • panamajackson

          That’s interesting. I mean I came along later, but I’ll say this, Morehouse hasn’t closed a single door for me thus far (unless I didn’t know it), but there have been very few things I’ve attempted to gain where I used my Morehouse connect that haven’t come through. And I’m doing pretty well.

          White folks in DC know Morehouse. I can promise you that. Especially on Capitol Hill.

          Also, considering the number of ‘House grads on Wall Street and how they come to Morehouse to recruit like we’re the best sh*t since sliced bread (its really amazing how many companies come straight to Morehouse), I won’t say your counselor was wrong based on his/her knowledge, but they may have been misguded.

          However, things work out how they’re supposd to from where I’m sitting. And it seems like life worked out for you despite your attendance and some other non-Morehouse entity )<— what I like to call other colleges on occasion. lol)

          • Sigma_Since 93

            “Also, considering the number of ‘House grads on Wall Street and how they
            come to Morehouse to recruit like we’re the best sh*t since sliced
            bread (its really amazing how many companies come straight to
            Morehouse)”

            This is what was missing when I was looking to attend. Since my HS days, there have been a few brothas from my HS that have attended Morehouse.

            • panamajackson

              You must have missed it by a few years then because since my days and since then, Morehouse has BEAUCOUP corporate ties and sponsorships and all of the Fortune 500 companies STAY on our campus.

              • camilleblue

                Yep. Looking for the brightest and best prospects and fill their diversity quotas while they’re at it.

          • SuperStrings

            “White folks in DC know Morehouse. I can promise you that. Especially on Capitol Hill.”
            When I finished grad school, I interviewed for a defense consulting position in DC. The old white guy interviewing me said that his mentor graduated from Morehouse. Of course, going to Morehouse, you always have white folks confuse it with Morehead (in Kentucky). I knew this wasn’t the case when he did an impression of how the guy used to talk. The mannerisms and tone inflection were straight out of a Crown Forum speech. I thought he was channeling Dr. Mays himself. lol

            • panamajackson

              That made me laugh out loud.

              • SuperStrings

                ’cause you know what I’m talking about. lol

                • panamajackson

                  I absolutely do.

      • LMNOP

        I was at a group interview once where someone mentioned she had just graduated from Spelman. The room got quiet and pretty much everyone (racially diverse group of maybe 15 people) did that little head nod thing you do when you’re impressed.

        • panamajackson

          Exactly. Spelman is one impressive place.

          • LMNOP

            I would love for my daughter to go there, but maybe transfer after doing the first two years at a community college. But let me get her through elementary school before worrying about that too much lol.

          • http://www.facebook.com/MentalMass MENTAL MASTURBATION

            Yeah, in Atlanta.

            • panamajackson

              LOL. It’s got cache.

      • Brandon Allen

        Aye Morehouse! On a serious note I co-sign this. Branding is everything. In education and business people anticipate quality from certain brands. I went to Morehouse and UCLA and teach at community college right now…There’s plenty of opportunities here if people take advantage but people talk bad about the school. Individual achievement needs an institutional cosign.

    • ForeverCC

      your friend is correct – i paid for the vandy network. #vandyvandyohhellyeah

  • JayIzUrGod

    I’m not having kids but in a pretend world, I do understand why parents choose private. You all like knowing exactly what you’re dealing with, and your money is the representative of that voice. With public, its always a toss up. I’m a New Yorker, this place is like Vegas: there’s always a place to gamble, but the house always wins unless YOU BOUGHT THE HOUSE *side eyes the Jews*

    One thing I will say though is…private school kids seem to get the leg up though. Coming from all public schools, I didn’t get the proper nurturing and understanding I needed as a student in overcrowded schools that focused more on regional test scores than graduation rates. How does one compete with that?

    • afronica

      I have to remind myself that the private and public schools I went to are not the private and public schools that exist now. From what I understand, No Child Left Behind and now the Common Core have made schools really teach to standardized tests. When I was in school, we took the tests, but no one was really concerned about them (our emphasis was on the PSAT and SAT). I wonder if public schools do more teaching to the tests now than the private schools do?

      • JayIzUrGod

        I graduated high school in 2001, right before No Child Left Behind was implemented. During that time, at least here in NY, public schools were in bad shape. Overcrowded, not enough teachers, lack of direction. All that mattered was the stats of the Regions tests and how many children moved on to the next grade. No one cared that 40 kids to one class meant 60% of the class was going to flunk, because the other 40% were going to have decent enough test grades to help everyone pass somehow.

        • afronica

          I can only imagine what it must be like now.

          • JayIzUrGod

            Today in New York, its worse. The Dept of Ed has either decided to close schools that didn’t have good graduation rates, chop them up into charter schools so that half the kids are in good shape and the other half are screwed, or under Bloomberg, turn the teachers into devils that can’t be trusted. Oooh and add all the s ex offenders that keep popping up posing as teachers and yea…we’ve got a winner over here.

            • ratchet d-Ibaka

              I have a viceral hate for Bloomberg! What a con!

              • Sigma_Since 93

                Me too. I’ve got a conference call with their attorneys later today.

        • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

          I graduated in 2001, too :)

          • JayIzUrGod

            But you said you were older than me!

            • Sahel

              Careful

              • JayIzUrGod

                Ah just caught myself

            • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

              I am :) I was born in October, so they held me back starting school until the following year when I was almost 6. @#%#%@$. Most people born the same year as me graduated c/o 2000.

              • JayIzUrGod

                Ooooh i see. I’m glad that happened that way then, makes us graduation buddies

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      At the risk of anti-Semitism, you’re right about Jewish people buying the educational house. The shenanigans in school placement never cease to amaze me. You mean somehow all these Jewish kids manage to get into great schools no matter where they live? Meshuggeneh! And an interesting sidebar to my private school experience is that I didn’t have anyone Jewish teach me until I got to college. Growing up in New York, NOT having a Jewish teacher is down right miraculous.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        That’s because they are all at private or Jewish schools. I went to a non denominational private school in Upstate NY and I had several Jewish teachers. The Jewish population live in pockets largely in the North, California, and Snowbirds. Going to a PTA meeting back in the day is like stepping into a viper’s nest to Tiger Moms.

      • Tentpole

        If we followed their plan, we would be in the same situation. They support each other for the common good.

        • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

          I agree with you. It’s a way of ensuring community ‘values’ get handed down, but it’s also a way of making sure the money stays in the community.

        • SuperStrings

          When they do it, it’s considered non-threatening cultural preservation. When we do it our homes are burned down (a la MOVE in Philly).

      • JayIzUrGod

        It is miraculous, because they controlled the teacher positions up to the mid 90s. Todd, I’ve seen the finance reports about how much the Jewish schools make in comparison to the average middle school. Its enough to make you want to riot.

    • Val

      Public Schools in New York City probably have the greatest range from bad to great of any city in the U.S.. The trick is having parents and guidance counselors who are engaged enough to identify a good fit for the child and then take no prisoners getting the kid into the proper school. Otherwise it’s a crap shoot.

      • JayIzUrGod

        That’s still based on money. The crappy schools that got turned into charter schools have financial backing by non-profits. The crappy achools that do have angry parents constantly boycotting only get cosmetic updates to shut them up. Otherwise its always business as usual. The Jewish community is the group that beat the system, they get millions of dollars more for the few schools they have in comparison to all the public schools

        • Val

          Okay, but, I’m talking about specialized high schools like Bronx Science, et al. Charter schools are an entirely different animal. And I agree they can be just as bad as any other school.

          • JayIzUrGod

            I’m not disregarding that some charter schools have success rates through the roof and that’s great for the children that attend. But due to the entry into charter schools being a lottery and that our government would ratherkeep flushing the toilet than fixing the pipes, too many kids get jerked around.

  • dandee

    I went to public school so I’d probably put my kid through public school and supplement that education with other things. As others have said, private school is only an indicator of success insofar as it opens up connections to “upper echelons” of society and I don’t necessarily feel that being a part of the 1% is something to be proud of. I know kids who went to elite private schools who struggle, and I am good friends with a guy who went to the same schools as I did and now owns property and sits pretty as an engineer. I know private school kids who are proud of being black and fight for our rights in this society, and I know public school kids who grew up amid the disparities who now have their heads in the sand and think we live in a post-racial world. It’s all a crapshoot, and all things considered, I’ll take my chances for free or much cheaper.

    • panamajackson

      Honestly, we’d prefer to go the free route too. But unfortunately I live in DC, you either pay for the quality via the house you buy (paying upwards of $6-700k) through your mortgage or you pay it to a school directly via private for the “best” options so to speak. As she gets older there will be better free options (we have some nationally recognized high schools in the District that I’d be fine with her going to), but until then…

      • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

        I am thinking about doing something similar. Private school maybe up until middle school. How long do you think you will keep her in private school, and what are your benchmarks or goals? (i.e. when will you reach your “until then”?)

        • panamajackson

          We’ll see how it goes. She could end up being there for her entire schooling. We’re taking it one year at a time.

      • Tentpole

        Montgomery County is calling you

        • 321mena123

          MC is where you pay for the house you buy to go to a good school.

        • panamajackson

          I’m not so sure its that different. You’re stilly paying a lot to live in areas with the best schools AND most of those areas are just too far for me.

          • LMNOP

            I said this a few days ago, but PG county has some very good public schools too. Obviously, if you’re buying a house, you’d research the neighborhood school your kids would be zoned for, but its cheaper than MC, and you can still get good schools and proximity to DC.

            • panamajackson

              There are some good areas in PG. Daughter’s mother lives in PG. I bought in DC b/c well, housing prices in DC ain’t going down so it makes sense to get in now while i could afford it. But interestingly, we looked into many of the schools in PG as well…so its on the potential radar. I just don’t want to live in PG County for any reason. lol.

            • PhlyyPhree

              I lived in MC and I considered living in PG because it seemed like it would be cheaper but I really couldn’t find any location near a school that I would be comfortable sending my child to.

              • LMNOP

                Greatschools.com ranks schools by test scores and its a helpful way to see where the better schools are. Off the top of my head, I think College Park and Greenbelt have some good schools. There are others, but its definitely more of a mixed bag than MC.

                • Tentpole

                  That is on paper only.

  • afronica

    I have not child the first. My only tangential thought is that I was disappointed that Khan Academy got into bed with the College Board. Khan recently decided to provide no cost online SAT prep courses on behalf of the College Board. I was really hoping that Khan would become a fourth option for undergrad education, alongside conventional undergrad, community colleges and MOOCS.

    Doing that would have been a natural next step for Khan’s current portfolio of online courses meant to replace or augment classroom teaching in pre-college subjects. I really wanted them to be disruptors of the current system, not handmaidens to it. It makes me wonder what their funding model is (did they need the $ from the College Board) and how that decision got made (who was pulling those strings). Really feels like a missed opportunity.

    • me

      Kahn academy is where it’s at. From 3rd grade math to PHP. The people that need it the most can’t afford a computer or internet connection.

      • afronica

        So true. A friend of mine is dealing with this now with his daughter. He got her a great laptop and tablet, but she has no broadband connection at home (he doesn’t live with the mother and daughter). So, does he pay for the connection for the whole house of people to use (plus a router)? And the other kids at his daughter’s house are always wanting to use (read break) her tablet and laptop as it is with no connection. So does he kit out the whole fan damily and provide ongoing tech support to get his daughter what she needs?

        We live in such interesting times.

  • kidvideo

    Shout out to the Alabama Public School system…if it raised me and PJ it cant be that bad.
    Since day care/private school/college+ is so expensive,i think it’s gonna cause a dip in the birth rate with people fresh outta college with no long term job prospects.

    I forsee a lot of 30 year olds living with roommates(Im lookin at you Atlanta,NY,LA).

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      I’ve lived on my own since I was 22 and I never realized how “rare” that is now. Sometimes we fall in the trap of Ima live at home/rent a room until I save enough next thing you know you’re 30, your income went to this initially temporary lifestyle and are in no better position than you were 8 years ago.

      • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

        Word. Part of it is that it’s expensive to live on your own in a major city. Unless you have a job making OK money, you’ll be struggling. I didn’t move out until I wrapped up grad school at 25, and that was a definite leap.

    • panamajackson

      I’m sure it probably already has.

      I’m gonna shout out my high school right here b/c if you live in the state of Alabama, you have probably heard of it. We crush in sports and academics (like waaaaay crush). Bob Jones High School. ’97

    • Sandpaper

      The Alabama Public School system worked for me too. The gifted program was awesome.

    • Val

      “.i think it’s gonna cause a dip in the birth rate with people fresh outta college with no long term job prospects…”

      That’s interesting. I agree that there are going to be long-term effects to not only the lack of real prospects job wise but also because of the amount of student loan debt people are carrying.

  • Tia_Sunny

    I kind of wish I could have went to a private school because the public school systems I attended were terrible like we really didn’t even do any work then when I took the test for college (didn’t get accepted) I scored so low I didn’t even know hardly anything on the test either. When reading some of the comments on this site I am like wow they use words I have never heard of and write so well.

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      I hear this a lot of public school grads, and I wonder what they do all day in school. They have to do *something* to fill the time, right? It isn’t like you have pillow fights in class or anything. What do they actually teach? Or just do?

      • Tentpole

        You should see this and you will have all your answers.
        http://www.hbo.com/documentaries/hard-times-at-douglass-high-no-child-left-behind#/

      • SuperStrings

        ” It isn’t like you have pillow fights in class or anything.”
        No, they have real fights. A couple class clowns and knuckleheads can really hurt the progression of the whole class.

        • Epsilonicus

          As a former teacher I can attest to that.

          • panamajackson

            Which is an issue where my child is now, hence our decision to move her. Not necessarily fights, but behavioral issues that hinder progression.

        • basilblues

          it can be lack of care on a teacher’s part as well. I was that annoying bit of an over achiever in class (but that was also my mom expecting the most out of me), so when i first switched to public school, I got an 85 on a test, i tried to talk to the teacher about it and she flat out just said, “you should be happy with an 85″. like, she couldn’t be bothered and couldn’t understand why i wasn’t happy with that mark. that was when my mom came in and got me switched into the honors/ap classes and I never had that issue with a teacher again.

          • SuperStrings

            True, the kids who have are excelling and have a desire to achieve are the most hindered in this environment.

      • Tia_Sunny

        Well basically sit, talk, go to sleep, etc. for the whole period. The teachers would give book work or some other assignment once in awhile without really teaching us and the work would be oh so easy too. Then in my American Literature class we seriously did nothing but watch movies and she passed the whole class, giving us A’s at that. Lol

      • Tia_Sunny

        Well basically sit, talk, go to sleep, etc. for the whole period. The teachers would give book work or some other assignment once in awhile without really teaching us and the work would be oh so easy too. Then in my American Literature class we seriously did nothing but watch movies and she passed the whole class, giving us A’s at that. Lol

        • afronica

          This makes me soooo angry. I have a friend who is so bright, so intelligent, but the DC public schools failed him completely. He’s a real history nut and always has some thick non-fiction book going. He has a good job. He’s doing well. But when I think of where he could be if he’d had a decent primary and secondary education, it makes my blood boil. Ugh!

        • Medium Meech

          In one of my high schools they would literally just keep you busy. Success was seriously measured by how few fights broke out. It broke some of the teachers’ hearts when they talked about the lack of educational basics the students with potential were receiving. But this was a bad school, basically there was a pyramid effect with enrollment. There were over 100 freshman and around 6 seniors on average. I remember they brought back the one girl that made it to college to speak to us. North Memphis represented in other ways though. One week we had 2 separate stabbings and at least one person I knew was shot every year I was there. It really isn’t about learning as much as it is about keeping the students on premises without incident.

          Edit: Reply was meant for Todd.

      • ForeverCC

        i am a product of public education (with the exception of my undergrad degree) and public school is NOT like this in many cases. i *wish* i would’ve come home and told my mother we just talked and slept in class today…heads would’ve rolled at the school! lol but then again, i have been out of school since the late 90s…who knows what those folx are doing now

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      I thought about this last year when I went to my brother’s graduation and I looked at where the graduating class was going, and the valedictorian got into BC but the rest were headed to community college if anything. I thought back to mine and only a few ppl weren’t going to college at all, and we were going all over the country via scholarships. Its crazy

      • SuperStrings

        Where did you go to school?

        • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

          Latin Academy

          • SuperStrings

            Booooooo. I went to Latin. lol

      • Tia_Sunny

        Wow yeah thats where I ended up at a community college then in 2011 when I graduated they started letting everyone graduate basically so the school wouldn’t get taken over by the state which it still did. Oh and you must have went to a good high school.

    • me

      Remember what you just typed when you think about starting a family. Been in your shoes and still working to overcome…it’s happening though and NOBODY should have to go through what I’ve been through. I want to say so much more…too much bad guidance around.

      • Tia_Sunny

        I am still working to overcome too I just feel there is no guidance within the urban educational system the staff at my old high school for sure got easy checks.

        • panamajackson

          A lot of it comes from parents raising holy hell and demanding more.