How Abigail Fisher Is All The Worst Parts Of Ron Weasley From Harry Potter » VSB

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How Abigail Fisher Is All The Worst Parts Of Ron Weasley From Harry Potter

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I am pretty big Harry Potter fan.

Not quite on the “Pottermore comments section” level, but I own books three through seven in hardback. When book seven ultimately dropped, I went back and reread the whole series from the beginning. I’ve watched every movie. And I was even an apologist for the first two, which were unapologetically terrible.

For those of you who didn’t follow the series – which, if you didn’t then what the hell is wrong with you? – there were three main characters. Harry, of course, is the titular character. But there were also his two sidekicks: Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley.

Hermione was an all around badass. She was smart as a whip and knew it, she had wit for days, and she had a mean twist out. Ron, on the other hand? Nice enough dude. But ultimately all around middling, in talent and ability. What he DID have over the other two, however, was access. Ron was born in the wizarding world, molded by it, and ultimately had a leg up on minor things that Harry and Hermione could never intrinsically know. And even with that reinforcement, he still occasionally gave into his worst characteristics. Namely, being deeply envious of the competencies that Harry and Hermione had, even while receiving benefits they never had.

I say all that to say that Abigail Fisher is the worst parts of Ron Weasley, even down to their physical likenesses.

Abby Fisher is sincerely convinced that she was denied admission to the University of Texas in favor of less qualified students due to race. Mind you, she was rejected. Not waitlisted, but rejected. She didn’t even get friend zoned by the school she is convinced she was a perfect match for. Her entire petition to the Supreme Court boils down to “I never went to jail and I don’t have any kids, so where’s the bad bitch that I was promised?

Boo, you aint a 10. You aint even really a solid seven. Her scores and grades were more mediocre than the current season of Empire. As the ancient African proverb goes, don’t go chasing waterfalls.

As we’ve been shown time and time again, however, that’s how privilege works. It’s summarily assuming that if a person of color got into a school and you didn’t, they must have been less qualified than you — even if they took the same classes as you and had the same coursework as you and took the same bus as you. It’s almost as if that ideology is ingrained with every bite of green bean casserole.

The rub of it all is that this all went down in 2008. Since then, Abby has gone on to graduate from a top school and get a damn good job. Why. Are. You. Still. Mad. Boo? *claps for emphasis* In 2008 I had fallen out with a friend who had basically abandoned me in Thailand, and I still can’t bring myself to be incensed over my near-deportation almost seven years ago.

Are LSU alums not salty that Dear Abby is out here basically telling the US Supreme Court that the institution that gave her a diploma ain’t a lick of shit? Does she not realize that at the end of the day, a degree is a degree? Again I ask, why is she still so mad? Did her UT Alum dad remind her of her rejection every year at Thanksgiving while passing the green bean casserole?

I’m not even going to bother to really break down the impact of the Abbys of the world intrinsically assuming that her Black counterparts are somehow under qualified for a spot she deemed herself entitled to. I’ve spent too much of my life proving my worthiness to White people in both personal and professional spaces, and folks like Abby Fisher and Antonin Scalia are just going to have to stay mad while they chow down on their unseasoned meatloafs (or is it meatloaves? QTNA) and lament a world where they’re not just given stuff because they decided that they deserve it. I learned that lesson when I was five and my mom asked me if “I had McDonald’s money.”

Long story short: I can only hope that the Supreme Court of the United States teaches her that too when they send her lily-why posterior back from whence she came.

Shamira Ibrahim

Shamira is a twentysomething New Yorker who likes all things Dipset. You can join her in waxing poetically about chicken, Cam'ron, and gentrification (gotta have some balance) under the influence of varying amounts of brown liquor at her semi-monthly blog, shamspam.tumblr.com

  • white parents really need to tell their kids how mediocre they are when they are as mediocre as her in pretty much every aspect of human existence. How is everyone that is associated with her not embarrassed?

    • Because mediocre isn’t that bad when they are plenty of sh*tty people around. Remember that homegirl graduated college and got a job. At this point, this is just beef.

      • That’s pretty much the requirement for everyone that’s part of my generation to not have to live to absolute poverty. No brownies for her.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          She was never supposed to get brownies in the first place. That’s the part that’s screwed.

          She made this about her instead of taking her L and stepping her game up.

          • If it wasn’t her, it would be someone else though. Personally though, I think both sides are focused on the wrong battle.

    • Pinks

      Why would they be embarrassed when all they have to do is scream INJUSTICE and have their concerns heard? The fact that this has gone all the way to the SC is laughable and best and disgusting at worst.

    • Question

      Cuz they’re hoping her prideful mediocrity well help their mediocrity.

  • Dilon Wilson

    Great article and I love how you combined the two different things ..its crazy b/c she really is like Ron lol. This same thing happened to me and my cousin when it was time to go to college we applied to a couple of state schools and got our letters back quick while a few ppl we went to school with didn’t the first thing they said was “Its b/c you’re black” so it couldn’t be b/c of my extracurricular activities and my community service . How about the fact I challenge myself while you chilling in tech math doing worksheets for homework… GTFOH

  • kryss

    “I never went to jail and I don’t have any kids, so where’s the bad b i t c h that I was promised?”

    This made me smile so big lol

  • At this point, I’m surprised this case is still rolling. The more interesting part is how sometimes the truth gets out about something, even when the context is all the way f*cked up. Scalia is literally right about Black kids doing better at less elite institutions in the sciences. The problem (besides him being a sh*tty messenger, of course) is that the rationale behind it requires a whole lot of inside baseball that few outside of the field would get. Small victories I suppose.

    Oh, and college affirmative action is a mum’s game when it comes to equity in education. If you really want to be on the front lines, we should talk about these hipsters embracing their inner George Wallace when their precious White darlings have to go to kindergarten with ghetto kids. Perhaps if we could make that happen, Abigail Fisher’s case would be moot in about 20 years. Well, save for hipster nightmares of their daughter growing up to have a $ex history that resembles BlacksonBlondes.com. ;-)

  • this is the crap tax dollars is going towards….

  • there needs to be an article once again commending Black twitter for the epic clap back

  • will_the_thrill

    I wish I could tell you all about the conversations that I had as the one Black (vocally Black [in that class, at least]) student in a constitutional law class at a top ten law school where Justice Scalia was a former professor. When we got to affirmative action, it was me against the world. The whole entire class of 89 studens. Even the liberals. Especially the liberals.

    I’m surprised I made it out of there. Not because it was too fast-paced *sideye to Justice Donald Trump*, but because my Black a** barely kept myself together. People can be so confident in their ignorance. It amazes me.

    • QuirlyGirly

      You say confident- I say proud in their ignorance. They wear it like a badge. And even when evidence shows otherwise they still chose to stay in their ignorant state.

    • mssporadic

      Con Law generates everything from spirited debates to all out fights. In my class, a conservative student tried to debate the prof about Roe v. Wade; however my prof is old and wasn’t having it. He shot the student down with one line, “it’s the law”.

  • I keep trying to comment but I don’t have the energy for White tears today. Be blessed, kids.

    • MsSula

      Seriously, I just washed my face in a cup of White Tears this morning so I will just be here reading. Them pale folks… *smh*

  • Bernie Welch III

    This article made my day. Well said!

  • RewindingtonMaximus

    I’m just waiting on this case to fail so Vivid Entertainment can offer her a p o r n contract after the crushing defeat.

    That’s my litmus test for regular folks ballin way out of their lane, Vivid Entertainment.

    Help me be disrespectful by picking out the name for her movie. Gimme your best shot VSB.

    • No thank you. There’s enough homely looking white women out in the field as is.

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        She looks like a tube of White-Out with ginger hair

        • Wild Cougar

          I couldn’t place what she looks like and then it hit me.

          • QuirlyGirly

            Grumpy Cat!

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            Niiiice

          • Mary Burrell

            The cat is better looking.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      So far I came up with

      -Dry Face, Dry Waist
      -College Girls Gone Failed
      – The Paperbag G a n g b a n g Chronicle

    • miss t-lee

      Vivid ain’t touching that with a 100 foot ____.

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