How A Glass Of Water Can F*ck Up Your Day

Sprinkle me.

I believe in Darwinism. I believe in natural selection. I believe that closed mouths don’t get fed. I believe the children are our future. I believe I can fly. I believe in miracles. The point is, I believe in a lot of things.

Well, I also believe that if you wanted something bad enough, you’d get up and get it yourself. Or that you at least wouldn’t turn every unrequited request into a relationship test. And this goes for men and women. I hated Scantron so trust and believe I hate it even more when motherlovers and fothermuckers try to test me more than the USOC.

With that in mind, I’d like to present a scenario that probably plays out frequently in homes across America. I’d say the world but they ain’t playin’ this in the Middle East. Word to the Ayatollah. (Just kidding, I’m all for gender equality. Peace up, A-town down)

Have you seen A Time To Kill? Well close your eyes then. Now open them. Now close them. Now open them. You just blinked. Twice. Now imagine that little girl was white!

Moving on.

So, here we go, yo? Here we go, yo? So what, so what, so what’s the scenario?

Imagine that two individuals – a man and a woman are sitting on a couch. Let’s say that they are both intently watching Law & Order: SVU, a show that – let’s be real – can cause you to lose an entire day when they’re running a marathon. OR f*ck that, to be more accurate, let’s say a basketball game is on: Miami Heat vs OKC Thunder. Fourth quarter.

Girl: Hey boy hey, I’m thirsty.

Guy: I hate it when that happens. One time when I was thirsty I got up and got a drink from the kitchen. It’s like a place that has food and drink. Never knew it was there til I knew, ya know? Totally f*cked up my worldview. Worked though. Crazy, right?

Girl: Smart ass. Can you go get it for me?

Guy: Why can’t you get it? I’m watching the game and you’re closer to the kitchen than I am.

Girl: Well, I want you to go get it for me. I can wait until the game is off or for a commercial.

Guy: Are you for real? You must not be that thirsty.

Girl: Oh, I am. But I can wait. I don’t feel like getting it.

Guy: *puzzled* But that makes no sense because you’re going to be waiting for a while. If you were really thirsty you’d get it yourself, which means you aren’t thirsty, you just want me to get up and get you something to drink either to show you that I don’t mind being inconvenienced while I’m doing something I want to do or you’re evil. Which one is it?

Girl: Neither, why does it have to be all that. Jeez. I just want something to drink and I want you to get it for me. Why is that such a big damn deal? Is it so bad to do something for your girlfriend? You didn’t hear me complain when I made your plate!

Guy: I also didn’t ask you to do that nor would I. I could have made my own plate but you insisted. And I’ll get you the drink after the game but I’m saying, the fact that its more important that I get it for you than you actually having your thirst quenched is baffling to me.

Girl: You know what, forget it. I don’t see what the big damn deal is after everything I do for you. *gets up huffing and puffing and visibly pissed*

Guy: I never said I wouldn’t get it I just don’t understand… *getting up to follow her to a kitchen where she’s already gotten her drink*

Silence.

Now, what we have here is obviously a male-centric, biased view of an ordinary request for something to drink. And in all fairness, in most cases, a dude is going to end up getting the drink anyway. But there are some times when we actually do feel like you’re making a request at a mad inconvenient time AND then it becomes a game of Relationship Test. Somehow, the request isn’t about what you needed in the first place – if you were really that damn thirsty, you’d get your happy ass up and get a drink – but about the fact that we didn’t just do it or pushed back. Then the pride kicks in and it becomes a struggle between good and evil (I’ll let you figure out who’s who) that is going to end up with both people not having a good night.

Granted, the chances of this exploding into a much larger argument about the relationship are probably only slightly larger than the chance that a VSB reader won the Powerball, but the point is, why does it have to be all of that? It’s the same thing with the convo from yesterday about men being attentive and noticing a woman is cold and getting her a blanket while she is noticeably freezing. Except if you’re cold, why not just get the damn blanket yourself (to any woman who would do this, and there are more than just a few) instead of being mad that I’m not paying enough attention. That’s how the dinosaurs died. They were waiting for somebody to save them. My guess is they were waiting for Ne-Yo since “Let Me Love You” is the most captain save-a-ho ass song I’ve heard in at least a decade. It’s just got a dancier beat so you almost don’t realize how ridiculous it is.

And it is ridiculous.

Point is, what gives. What’s more important in this situation, quenching your thirst or that I make it possible for your thirst to be quenched. And for those who think this situation is a no-brainer, you’ve all undoubtedly been in a situation like this at some point where either you or your significant other made a request you thought was ridiculous and it devolved into a discussion about its ridiculousness and ended up pissing off everybody involved.

What say you? Is bruh’man from the fif floor being lazy or is she being unreasonable?

Talk to me.

*BTW, this scenario isn’t specific. Some iteration has happened in various relationships I’ve been in. I’ve always ended up getting the drink at some point. Arguing with your woman is pointless. It never ends well for the man. *

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. I THOUGHT YOU HAD YOUR OWN, SO GET IT aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

MAKE SURE YOU RSVP FOR REMINISCE THIS SATURDAY, DECEMBER 1, 2012, AT LIV Nightclub in DC. FREE before 11pm with RSVP and OPEN BAR from 930-1030PM. With no dress code and Supa Qool DJ Quartermaine (cop his Quarter Life Crisis EP off of iTunes here for $3.99) on the 1′s and 2′s and you’ve got the best 90′s party in the city!!!! REMINISCE WITH THE COOL KIDS!

  • eazy253

    First

  • Juiciest Mango

    She is unreasonable. If she really were thirsty as she claims, the logical thing would be to take her pretty or ugly behind to the kitchen and get her some water, otherwise….she’s just testing to see how down you are for her, or not. It’s stupid. Stay sane ma pippoz, stay sane.

    • Juiciest Mango
      • Rewind

        Looking like she got 2 frying pans in her ass cheeks.

        Sucks to be her

        • Sweet GA Brown

          Im at work but Im going to guess it is the video of the butt implants gone wrong? Is the girl flippin it around??? Damm!t I’ll check it out when I get home.

          • Juiciest Mango

            girl she twerrrking them pans underneath her butt cheeks. They jiggling and hollering at the same damn time.

            • Rewind

              That sounds like the name to a new Big Sean song…Jinglin & Hollerin…could be a Christmas song.

              • Juiciest Mango

                I bet you it would be, and produced by the dream or is it nightmare.

          • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

            Yep, it’s but implants gone wrong. *smh* She needs to realize it’s OK to have a flat ass. Wait a second…no it isn’t. It means that you haven’t fully developed as a woman. Failure! Failure! Failure! REAL women have child bearing hips, even if they don’t have kids. ;)

            • SweetSass

              This is not true. All butts are acceptable, all butts are great. Work with what you got.

              • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

                The last half of my comment was said tongue-in-cheek. Humor is wasted on you. LOL

            • SweetSass

              This is not true. All butts are acceptable, all butts are great. Work with what you got.

              • demondog06

                no…flat butts are infuriating……

                girls with the noasatol are terrible human beings and should be tried and burned at the stake for practicing witchcraft

                • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

                  Well dayum

                • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

                  Well dayum

                • SweetSass

                  Flat butts are not *your* tastes. But not everyone needs to worry about *your tastes*.

                  There are guys out there who prefer flat butts. Not many blacks ones… but guys out there.

                  • http://www.todisspits.blogspot.com MicTheMessenger

                    There are guys out there who prefer flat butts.

                    ^^FALSE

                    I mean, there are some guys who might not MIND a woman with nann booty, but I have yet to meet a guy who actively searches for women with no tail.

                    It’s almost like the equivalent of a woman sayin she’d prefer a broke man.

                    Either have some money in the bank, or have a woman that doesn’t care.

                    • Marshal

                      Or a Woman saying she is alright with a Guy that has a Lil Dong….NOT

                    • Rewind

                      lmao at the madness a horrible butt injection causes on VSB

                    • Juiciest Mango

                      x a milli to the nth power.

                    • SweetSass

                      Guys who want to date runway models.

                      Pretty much all runway models are too thin to have any as at all.

      • http://twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire
    • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

      Hiya, AM!

      *waves*

      • Juiciest Mango

        Val darling!!

    • http://twitter.come/InAnimateAlpha Animate

      You mentioned logic. All bets are off…

  • eazy253

    What is an Alpha male supposed to do in that situation?

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Nothing. You’re supposed to relax and let the woman have her temper tantrum.

      • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 Fiveisthenumber

        Word. Or go get you a glass. She can have last bit of backwash, as she prolly would only take a mere sip of the glass you would have fixed her.

      • demondog06

        word life…..

  • chameleonic

    lmao!! opening lines i was like….’oh f****ck yeeeeeew. and then i just had a giggle fest. you would TOTALLY get the blanket for me and id kiss your cheek and id be delighted and frolicky for the rest of the night. rofl. iiiii got the blankeeet iiiii got the blankeeeeet!

    [*goes in the kitchen and makes dinner, beaming from ear to ear*]

    • Rewind

      *side eyes the hell out of you, then looks at you jingling all over the place…then stops being mad…takes a deep sigh..and makes a solemn swear to blow that back out as pay back for the whole scenario*

      ^that’s what every guy does when we put up with nonsense.

      • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

        Yeah…you’re part of the problem if you’re not part of the solution smh.

        #deezn*ggazbelettinem

        • Just Me

          Agreed. This only happened because she knew she could drag this out. Shouldn’t have even been a discussion that long:

          “Babe can you get me some–”
          “No.”
          *silence and game watching*
          :-)

          • Sweet GA Brown

            Uhhhhh, I’m not to sure it would end like that. But okay.

          • Rewind

            Ha!

            In a perfect world, where you put your foot down immediately after saying Hello to her for the first time.

            Once you miss that chance…it’s gone.

      • chameleonic

        word though, im just gonna start being mad honest with men.

        “dude look, im h*rny as sh*t. im stressed out. this is never gonna work or go down if i cant turn my mind off. just do this list of things so i can calm down. seriously.”

        if i tell you hold me down with a blanket, hold me down. i legit am telling you straight to your face what i need in that exact moment to get over myself. and youre shoving my needs away. fine. im good on you too.

        my back will remain in tact rude sir.

        • Angel Baby

          Loves it!!! Lol

        • chameleonic

          then again i dont think its that simple. i feel like im emotionally stuck in my youngest years. i am in a state of nostalgia right now because i remember when i was a child my sisters called me a spoiled little daddys girl and they left me in the house to watch my parents beat the sh*t out of each other. so i taught MYSELF how to read and i gave myself a bath and fixed my own food and i realized im on my own getting out of this. and then i got to school and it was so easy for me. i aced my schoolwork and then i taught the handicap kids. and i never told anyone how i felt. i never told anyone what it was for me i just looked like the spoiled, prodigal child. ive been running on nothing but survival instinct. doing everything for myself. and now that i want something as simple as a blanket i get to hear that im spoiled and stupid and foolish and ridiculous and lazy. unreasonable. but everyone would just love to have a go at my body.

          nevermind my fragile emotional state or neglected needs. im a face and a body. lol. no wonder im so insecure. why would i want someone to be so awestruck and feel such sexual tension they miss what im actually trying to communicate. i dont wanna have sex when im trying to muster the courage to say ‘help.’

          if im as sick as i know i am i hope in the next few weeks i can just close my eyes and die. d*ck isnt going to save me. IM not going to save me. NO ONE is going to save me. and im tired of keeping myself going. f*ck your water AND an iv. im gonna let me flatline because im too spoiled to move. even if i was h*rny beyond all natural recognition of myself i would collapse before i even pulled my dress up. it genuinely is too hard for me….

          “thats what” -she

          and im tired of making inappropriate jokes when i should be balled up in a corner somewhere bawling my eyes out.

          • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 Fiveisthenumber

            Da hell?

            • Sweet GA Brown

              You gotta read between the lines. Besides what really going on with Chameleonic(my heart goes out to you and i hope everything will be okay), sometimes the drink or blanket is symbolic of just needing a moment where they are being taken care of. Women are selfless and caring by nature and depending on what has happened in her past or even earlier that day can lead her to want to feel secure in the idea that the person they are sitting on the couch with just providing one thing for her while she may have provided for others ALL her life. In that one moment that was all that mattered. Can my man be selfless right now and quench my thirst when his team is about to score??? Okay that might not be what Chameleonic meant but its okay to assume right???

              I understand the plight of the woman asking for something at the darnest time but I cant say I agree with it. Gotta save the “coddle me” move for a flat tire or something….

              • chameleonic

                thats exactly what im saying. and its being written off by placing it in the context of a fourth quarter basketball game. i wouldnt put myself in a position where a man had to choose me over something else because i would assume he hates me enough to put me second. if i ask for water all i can think about is how weak and tired and dehydrated i am. my emotional state is not playing games with the winning jumpshot im probably mulling over some sh*t i have to do for a charity and knowing i can ask you for stuff is my only semblence of care. it says volumes about my worth to be argued with over something so simple. i promise you, this is me deciding ill never ask anyone for anything no matter how far the chips are down. when i cant get my own water ill just accept ive been selected to go extinct.

                • Sweet GA Brown

                  It is sad but thats why a lot of women sream they are independent and say they dont need a man.

                  Shared and respected vulnerability between a man and a woman is like a finding a needle in a haystack.

                  • chameleonic

                    i wanna be vulnerable and i wanna be honest and i wanna look at someone and say i need you. thats such an intimate moment. just say okay. it really is difficult to find someone who gets it. why are you yelling and insulting me when im trying to share myself with you? =/

              • Marshal

                I get what you are saying and I Understand where Chameleonic is coming from, I really do. There’s a problem with that: Women are not the Only Gender with Emotional Detachment Issues. Outside of Traditional Expectations, do Women REALLY Think that Men are the Non-Feeling Gender? That WE don’t have Emotions that we’d Love to Acknowledge and Embrace ourselves? On one hand Men are told we are Cruel and are Robot-like in how we Live, but Flip that coin and we are called Weak-A$$ SIMPS who aren’t “Masculine” enough to Handle ya’ll…… God Forbid we TRY to exist in the Middle of being Souless Bastards and “Acting like a Chick”

                Wheteher it’s the 1950s “Tradition” or This 21st Century, SOME Women have gone outside the role of being a Lady, attempting to be Like Men yet Can’t even hold Themselves or Other Women Accountable for the Flaws and Mistakes of THEIR Gender; having Ovaries and a Vagina Does Not entitle Immunity and a Pass for BS and Games. Yes, Men have made Dumb and Stupid decisions for Centuries- So have Women. Eve screwed Adam and all of Mankind for goodness sakes,so let’s Finally keep it 1,000,000% and On the Record

                • Sweet GA Brown

                  I said that women are selfless. How often do you come across a woman that wont do for you? All a man say to do is tell a women he NEEDS(remember this men) her and its a wrap.

                  How about this scenario….A man is on his way home from playing basketball and his girl got off work has been out running errands, the sun has set and she is finally heading home tired from being stuck in traffic. You call her up and ask her where she is and she tells you everything she did today and then says she will be home in 5 mins. You tell her to stop and get something for you to eat cause your hungry. What you think she gonna do??? She tired but she gonna stop. You coulda got something on the way home but you figured you would ask her. Boom!!!

                  • Marshal

                    I love how this has all turned into Women having Dual jobs being the Homemaker & having a Job outside of Work. Again, Let a Guy be Mr. Homemaker and damn near Everyone will call him Less than a Real Man because he doesn’t have an Income: Tradition being used to blow up “Gender Equality”.

                    Please believe I’m not Trying to disregard or minimize Charmeleonic or what she has gone through; I’m just a bit irked that a Legitimate Question gets turned into a Guy launching som kind of Sexist & Personal Attack- which wasn’t what I said upthread

                    • Sweet GA Brown

                      I didnt say anything about sexism or gender equality. My point is that a guy will ask for things that a women will feel like he can do himself just like a woman would. Its all about being considerate and looking out for the one who is looking out for you. WE can talk about what society sees as gender roles if you feel that is appropriate.

                    • chameleonic

                      i think men should have a clout to them where the woman hes dealing with has a healthy respect for him, and god knows i am notorious for emotional detachment. i can fully appreciate and relate to how men exist but theres also compassion and empathy. understanding my state of human being. you are not a simp because im tired or ill or overwhelmed and you fufill my needs. just as i would fufill yours if i werent dying of dehydration and thirst sitting inches from an able bodied man. its just callous.

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                you kind of asking for a man to be a whole lot though right? that’s tantamount to reading her mind to know that in this one matter it all matters so much. so are we just supposed to pretend like EVERY SINGLE moment can matter that much and just cater to every unreasonable request just in case its that moment in life that could make all the difference.

                methinks not.

                • chameleonic

                  “even if this one moment could make all the difference, even if it meant life or death, i wouldnt show you an ounce of care.”

                  cool.

                  • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                    lol. you have GOT to be sh*tting me. life or death moments tend to be more pronounced. if getting a blanket or a glass of water is life or death, you probably needn’t be at my house but be in a hospital somewhere. gtfohwtbs.

                    • demondog06

                      +243
                      so melodramtic

                    • chameleonic

                      lol, panama. houses are warmer than hospitals. more loving. and plus, there arent any bills to pay for watching a movie with you under a blanket. i dont wanna be in a hospital i wanna be under a blanket with you. not YOU you. i just wanna be with someone. and yeah, in these moments it means the world to me. i sh*t you not the best most peaceful place to be is in the warmth and security of strong arms. not alone in a hospital twice as cold as i would be on your couch. thats just f*cking stupid.

            • chameleonic

              my emotional response to physical desire. my emotional response to being yelled at for needing a blanket and some water. the emotional headspace a man puts me in when he calls me spoiled or lazy or tells me to do/get something myself. i start remembering how i felt as a child. no one pays attention to how i feel and seeing how this post is in partial response to our conversation yesterday (panama and i), this is my honest emotional response to realizing i can never ask anyone for anything ever. it feels like i just got commanded to die. if i cant even ask for a blanket you most certainly cant be asked for substantial things. im tired of not being heard or understood. i especially will not be touched by a man who wont even give me a drink when im on my last limb and leg. im really physically sick and im taking the “blow your back out but no water or blankets for you spoiled one” notion quite personally. this isnt a joke. this isnt a test. im seriously sitting here coming to the emotional realization no one hears what im saying. how dangerous. how hurtful.

              im spoiled and im crazy. cool. this is why i keep my mouth shut. if im cold im just gonna be cold bc im too tired or too ill to get up. im sorry if my minor request was an inconvenience to your basketball game.

              • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

                ~ it says volumes about my worth to be argued with over something so simple.

                with all due respect, there would be no argument whatsoever if you did not set the bar so low. you are creating Expectations to define Self Worth. they are not actually related but if you believe this to be so, you will draw the following conclusion ::

                ~ i can never ask anyone for anything ever.

                pride cometh before a fall. i got the scars to prove it.

                life does not need to be a series of absolutes. it took me years to learn about levity, equilibrium, and to let go of being an extremist.

                because, to be extreme here, being an extremist is a form of psychological terrorism. and while others may suffer, the worst to get hurt is the self when the bombs go off, well, you’re the one holding them.

                • chameleonic

                  na. a man is showing me my worth to him by arguing why he wont take care of me, even when i clearly am not able to do certain things for myself. that has nothing to do with self worth. he is looking my weakened state in the face and saying, even if i were dying of thirst he would not get me a glass of water. that is how worthless i am to HIM.

                  • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                    in this case you could do it yourself. simply. that’s the crux of all of this. while i can do it for you, you can do it too. you’re entire MO seems to be “show me how much you care about me” and mine tends to be, “tehre will be times i will do for you and go above and beyond, but there are also times when you can do sh*t for yourself. pick your battles now, bc they become wars later”

                    • chameleonic

                      na, my entire MO is i told you how i need you and you dismissed my emotion for logic. and even if i did ask you to care….so what. show me you care. since you obviously dont, cool. i dont even know you.

                      you asked a question yesterday and i answered it. youre not accepting the answer youre rejecting a logic flaw and thats okay.

                      but im taking it personally because this is universal and applies to every need i presently have. what youre communicating to me is im going to die and no one cares because the game is on. lesson learned. its not like i contributed to your tv pilot when you asked for help. i dismissed you too.

                    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                      which would all make sense except you’re making this personal…

                      …and im not your man nor do i know what your problems are.

                    • chameleonic

                      yeah….but if i was sitting on your couch you WOULD be my man and you WOULD know my problems and you would totally get me a blanket. its personal because i can only speak for self. you can only speak for you. a personal moment is not ‘generalization of all women’ vs. ‘generalization of all men.’

                      its ‘me’ and ‘you’ and how we treat one another in this moment that means so much to me though you logically cant understand why. and dont even care why lets be real. but like i keep saying, thats fine.

                • Rewind

                  THANK YOU!

                  See that’s all that needs to be said there.

                  • Marshal

                    I’m glad Panama said all of that instead of me or somebody else, I’d hate to get blasted by Sass, Cougar and the rest of the al Feminist group….

                • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                  see? profound.

                • Asiyah

                  Esa, you are so wonderful. I hope you are this wonderful in real life. I’ll always pray for your health and well-being! <3

                  • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

                    (big SMILE)

                    thank youu ! but i am only a mirror in which you can see yourself. all that is wonderful is what you feel in your heart at this moment ~*~

                  • Juiciest Mango

                    isn’t she lovely?!?!?!?!?!?!?

                • http://overthestory.blogspot.com Angie G.

                  Yes. All of this.

              • Lyneka

                You are heard. This is my first time reading this board in awhile and I’m not familiar with handles but don’t be afraid to ask for help. This message board cannot give you what you need. There’s nothing wrong with asking for or seeking help.

                • chameleonic

                  so everyone seems to tell me. theres something wrong with asking for help because i know precisely what i need and its f*cking ridiculous to ask anyone but myself to shoulder it. but needing help is different. its okay to NEED help its not okay or even acceptable to ask for it. ive been through enough. im not going to take an a*s whooping for needing a glass of water i cant get myself but if i ASK for it i will without a doubt face some sort of emotional trauma. im better off suffering in silence.

                  • Lyneka

                    I might be taking your posts too literally but, I’m serious, you are heard. If you are having problems, then you must first help yourself. That’s the first step to being in a successful relationship. Perhaps you are just kidding but your post seemed to be real life grips and I sensed a feeling of rejection that could lead to something dangerous. If am wrong, I apologize. But, no that you are heard and deserved to be heard. If things are hard to deal with, please don’t be afraid to seek help.

                    • chameleonic

                      i always thought i WAS asking for help. id go somewhere or to someone and id just stay quiet and soak in my environment trying to discern who could and couldnt aid me….but then id solely pick up on other peoples needs and id end up inherently sucking it up to help those more in need than me. i guess it seemed like i WAS helping myself by keeping busy and being altruistic and working non stop towards my goals. never asking for anything. but now i realize thats called leadership and its made me proud.

                      asking for help is….’this is the problem, this is the solution, this is what i need from you.’ i personally cant handle being insulted when i step outside of myself to ask for something. i appreciate your sincerity but i still dont see the worth in my honesty. its okay.

          • Rewind

            Ok love. I get you.

            But let me help you understand something real quick.

            Unless you share your story, no one will know how you feel on the inside. So if you expect someone to do something for you that has a high value to you but never reveal that to another person, they will fail your test every time. You cannot put the weight of the world on words that you’re not willing other people to even understand you’re holding. Because now you deem someone guilty of something they had no idea they were participating in.

            I know EXACTLY how you feel, because I felt the same way. But the difference is no woman would ever understand my pain if I never explained it to her, so expecting her to “just know” is wrong of me. I realized by doing that, you take away someone’s rights, and that’s not fair at all.

            Me and you, in person, we’d get along because we got a lot of issues in common. I know truly what it feels to be an adult but mentally be a child because I was forced to grow up so fast, and now part of me is regressing to make up for the childhood I barely had.

            But honesty is the policy. It does truly suck to be vulnerable, but your vulnerability is the only access other people have to understanding you if you don’t know how to be honest with all the turmoil inside you.

            • chameleonic

              you get on my nerves. truth to all of that but being vulnerable isnt the same as calculating survival. its hard to express a mode where i keep jumping from turmoil to hormonal to joy to turmoil to need to turmoil to desire to pain. i keep dropping into this uncontrollable puff of emotion and ive never been an emotional person. i like talking i just want someone to straighten me out. more specifically a man who doesnt berate me for needing him. did ving rhames get mad at jodys crying a*s mother. NO. he did some sweet shyt and held her mad tight and made sure she got koolaid and if i want koolaid while im all up in my hormones go get the f*cking koolaid. “spoiled”

              and now im emotional and cognizant of my suffering.

              • Marshal

                See, now you hit a cord that sounds like Cherry Picking Childhood and the Life Envorinment Everyone else was Born Into. Hell, I was born to a Drug Addict Mother, a Man-Child of a Father and Two Families on completely opposite ends of the Function-Dysfunction spectrum, BOTH nowhere near living Comfortably as far as economics and what as deemed valuable and meaningful with Family and Social Circles. I too can say I grew up Fast, being Hostile to anyone who came around me; whether or not Somebodw as actually a Friend and Trying to Help or a Foe and was out to Use me made no difference because I alienated them from ever getting close, I messed up tons of friendships and relationships as a Kid and Teen until just 6 years ago…

                We ALL have Stories to tell, some Worse than Others. Some people Still are working on fixing flaws and Some have done a 180 and haven’t looked back to relaspe, but like Rewind said until You look Insied and start fixing Self, NO Man will Want to Deal with what you have going on, or will Deal Long Term with all of that. Panama wasn’t bashing you or dismissing your struggles and neither am I, BUT, Remember that Everyone has Struggles and the difference is that People Try to Fix and Fail, Try to Fix and Succeed, or People Don’t Try @ All…..

                • demondog06

                  +1234

                • http://twitter.come/InAnimateAlpha Animate

                  yessir!

                • Rewind

                  Man that was poetic as hell.

                • chameleonic

                  im trying SO hard to stay out of my feelings. if i tell you i need something it keeps me logical and it keeps you from the sh*tstorm of why i asked. i am well aware a man doesnt wanna deal with my clusterf*ck of feelings so when i tell you i need xyz ‘what?! why?! i have questions!! what are you talking about?! help me understand!! talk to me!!’ = you dropping me into an emotional state you are ill equipped to handle. but you know what you CAN handle?????

                  getting me a blanket when i tell you im cold and you know im sick.

                  because i am internalizing and trying to deal with a ridiculous amount of sh*t i dont need you stirring the pot by missing a beat. all you have to deal with from me is ‘baby im cold’ you dont have to deal with the inordinate amount of everything else unless you insist on calling me all kinds of out my names and reminding of the sh*t im attempting to move on from. at which point i blow up at you because youre adding to my problems.

            • http://twitter.come/InAnimateAlpha Animate

              *daps and pounds*

          • Londa

            If it hasn’t already been said, breathe, baby girl. Breathe. Running on empty makes us do a lot of things we’ll regret lately.

            If you need to talk to someone on the professional tip, find someone soon. Don’t let your past and your current situation dictate who you are or what your future will be.

            If you need a friend to listen to just listen to you, someone who knows what it’s like to run on empty, email me talk2afriendmail2world.com. I’m not professional. I’m no superhero. I don’t have all the answers. But I’m willing to listen to you. I’m willing to be there. I can’t be there 24/7, but I’ll email.

            Everybody else, don’t flood my inbox. I’ll ignore you. I’m just saying…this is for our sister.

            • chameleonic

              no thank you. im tired of being stuck here and im tired of talking and im tired of breaking my back and no one else ACTING on a desperate plea. what i need to do is sit here and accept im done.

              • Londa

                So, is it that there is a specific person that you want to act on your plea?

                Whatever the reply, know that my response was genuine. I’ll keep you in my prayers and I’ll check my inbox peridocally. By the way, put an “at sign” before the “mail2….”

                • chameleonic

                  a liar. i want a liar to respond. someone who hears im done and tells me a lie. tell me its okay to give up myself. i wanna be at peace. im instinctually a fighter and i want someone to tell me to stop fighting. but the specific person i want to act on me doesnt exist. never did never will. so i was hoping someone could lie to me well enough and switch off my ‘survival instinct mode’.

                  • Londa

                    I’m not a liar (unless you’re a bill collector, and then in that case, “I’m not here today, but can I take a message?”). But, honey, it seems to me that YOU need to tell YOURSELF that it’s okay to give up. Tell YOURSELF to stop fighting. Don’t wait for permission or acceptance from anyone else. Look in the mirror and give you permission to stop being superwoman. It’s not working well for you. It’s eating you alive. And, you are letting it. Give yourself permission to stop being all things to all people. Even your user name implies the many attributes you have to shift in and out of.

                    Choose a life of being the real, authentic, you. Even if that means giving up the life you are living now and moving somewhere else and starting over. If you want peace, it’s going to have to come from the inside and work its way out; not the other way around. You must CHOOSE peace and then hold on to it more fiercely than you hold on to the identify of chameleonic.

                    I’ll share with you some scripture, not because I want to beat you over the head with Christianity, but because these are verses that I think about often when I am feeling overwhelmed or I’m lost or just freaking fed up. They’re from Philippians chapter 4. “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you lie in Christ Jesus. And now dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me – everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.”

                    If you don’t believe in God or Jesus…ok…just take the meat from what I’m trying to say. Don’t bash me with negativity. What I’m trying to convey via the scriptures is that YOU have to change what you’re focusing on. YOU have a choice in all of this as to what you meditate on. Yes, you may be a victim of other people’s wrong action; I don’t negate or make light of any of what may have been done to you. Find your own light. Sing your own song. Toot your own horn. Don’t give anyone else permission to define you.

                    • chameleonic

                      ive been doing that my whole life. which is how i became chameleonic superwoman in the first place but without someone to pull me through the squeeze and helping me to make what im focusing on real, when im tired i focus on the negative. it crushes me and i want it to because i no longer have the energy to shield myself from horror. if im not in the realm of possibilities that got me through this and because those possibilities are rejected….

                      im simply a dead woman. and thats fine because its peaceful.
                      name calling and insults is what i get. im too lazy to do for myself right? its not like ive been running solely on me since birth. but really, i appreciate your concern and i appreciate you reaching out. life was beautiful and im sleepy.

                  • Londa

                    Cammy (that’s what I’ve been calling you in my mind), I wish you the best. I pray that you find peace of mind. I pray that joy fills your heart and permeates every aspect of your life. I pray that love is your constant and everlasting companion.

                    You are not lazy. You are strength and goodness and you are loved. Maybe not in the way that you want, but you are cared about by many I am sure. If nowhere else, then you are cared about on here.

                    I’m very pro-choice, but today I’m asking you to choose life.

      • http://www.todisspits.blogspot.com MicTheMessenger

        *side eyes the hell out of you, then looks at you jingling all over the place…then stops being mad…takes a deep sigh..and makes a solemn swear to blow that back out as pay back for the whole scenario*

        YES.

        In fact, i don’t even mind doing stuff because i KNOW if I keep her happy, the chances of me gettin the draws off are more butter than brick. Call it what you want, but everybody wins. nothing wrong with that.

        I’ll even serve some lemon with that d*mn water.

        • Rewind

          True. I don’t mind doing good deeds or favors, just pick your spots properly, that’s all I ask. That way, everybody’s happy, especially when the lights go out.

        • chameleonic

          dude….

          all i want is a man who appeases me. do you know far up in my hormones i am right now. i woulda been so mellowed out after a nice refreshing glass of water. but no. you need a book report on why i need you. get me a blanket and ill warm up to you. im not even trying to be a brat im telling you how to make me more comfortable.

          today was emotional and i really wish…..*sigh*….now would be that moment i say yes. all up IN my personal space, smh. i dont even think im upset i think im just….riled up. i wanna go back to my original glee of him getting the blanket and me not having to stammer through an explanation of why it meant so much….

          i liked frolicking with a big huge smile on my face. it was supposed to be so simple and now im totally in the mood but im upset.

          • Rewind

            No you don’t need a man.

            You need you right now. No man is going going to fill that void you have right now, and you’d be hurting him with all the emotional weight you’re carrying right now. You need to be realistic with yourself, what you want is a teddy bear to cuddle and take away the pain, but once that’s over…then what? What will you do next?

            • chameleonic

              i die.

              i wanna be comfortable and i wanna be held. and i wanna close my eyes and go to sleep. because i for sure do not want the life set up for me. you have no idea how much stress and weight is on me compacting me into a machine who overrides consideration of health and needs for the sake of a pressurized goal. i dont want that for myself but that is who i am. and its killing me. i want something warm and i wanna be comfortable and whats next is i let go. i dont hold on to suffer through a farce of a life. i need a man to give me a hug and a kiss and put me out of my misery.

              • chameleonic

                i wanted a blanket. YOU wanted to argue and thus brought the emotional torrent and the pain of going through this upon yourself. you wanted this implosion. i just wanted to be warm.

              • chameleonic

                and yes. a man CAN fill the void because hes capable of doing for me what im unable to do for myself. a man needs to admit to himself that HE cant do for me. and stop trying to pass himself off as someone whose in a position to tell me i havent done for myself.

  • fromcletodal

    She is playing games and whoever is on the other side needs to shut that down the first time she has a request that makes no sense. Now if she is sick or disabled then she gets a pass. Saying no isn’t a bad thing…….they can either accept it or pout about it. Im not about to argue over something so trivial.

  • iamnotakata

    Sistah girl is ughhh yeah lazy…and participating in what I like to call “seeking…” i.e. seeking attention, seeking reassurance of control etc etc etc….this is a skill a lot of women intentionally and unintentionally participate in. It is both annoying and clever. I tend to think needy chicks use this tactic a lot. And if she is bold enough to request hydration during the middle of a live a*s game….she’s no real fan. She is probably watching the game to look like she “likes sports” and has become bored with pretending and now would like some attention…hence “seeking”

    • http://www.writingsofamidlifeman.com J. Delancy

      Praise be! Another piece of info I could have used before the age of 30, along with ‘even women get tired of listening to other women’.

      Thanks for tip, I will be on the lookout

    • Sweet GA Brown

      +10000

      Ya know, I cant stand when a women puts on a front to get a guy to like her more and I particularly despise women that act extremely needy to prove something to themselves. #thethirst

    • Asiyah

      exactly. she’s an attention pr0stitute!

      • Juiciest mango

        Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy girlie!!!!!

        • Asiyah

          Hey love!!!!!! *waves*

  • http://Www.shay-d-lady.com Shay-d-lady

    Is this a teenage scenario? Cause everyone u. Grow up relationships know the rule is the first person to get up. Be it for stretch. To pee. To look for the remote has to make the arbitrary kitchen run. However women are naturally better at waiting it out and catching dude immediately with the “bay can you” question. Lmao. And therefore the argument only occurs when he. Out of poor loser spirit and spite refuses And them tries to wait to catch the girl getting up. But she never does and they both sit there in angry. Thirsty ass silence. Like real grown ups

    • http://Www.shay-d-lady.com Shay-d-lady

      Lol excuse the typos. Smartphones and pain pills don’t mix

    • Rewind

      Aint nothing teenage about it. Every grown ass man on VSB has been through this and it aggrevated the hell out of them…because we all actually had to have full on arguments over stupid shyte like this.

      And it sucks more that yesterday, plenty of VSS’s were like “well just get the damn blanket”, and today, they’ll say “well just get the damn water”…all while completely ignoring the part about just being a spoiled twat.

      Why can’t grown folks just act like grown folks?

      • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

        Cause that would be boring apparently. People wanna feel entitled and special

        • Rewind

          Damn shame

      • chameleonic

        im spoiled. thats all anyone ever thinks of me and one of these days im gonna realize i have a complex. as silent as ive been throughout my life, its actually really traumatizing to get beat up on for needing someone. but ill take that to heart. im spoiled. cool. no argument necessary.

        • Rewind

          Nah sweety, you can’t play victim here.

          You have problems. That’s clear. But you cannot expect the rest of humanity to just UNDERSTAND that without you actively taking responsibility to seek help for those problems in the proper fashion.

          If you need help, you ask for it, not demand it. If you are lost, you ask for directions, not expect someone to tell you. If you are hungry, you ask for food, not slam your plate and demand service.

          This world is give and take, and the first thing you must do is give yourself the oppurtunity to be understood properly. BY YOU. Not anyone else. You owe that to yourself first. If you don’t see that, you become an obstacle in your path to fulfillment. This is the story of many who have fallen hard because they refused to acknowledge that their methods came with critical flaws.

          I don’t even know you and I know you can get this right. That’s how much faith I have in your intelligence.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            true indeed.

          • chameleonic

            i dont believe you. youre making me seem like im a brat with horrible manners. and im not a brat im just panicking and i feel cornered and i feel….broken. its different asking for help. it makes it very clear to me just how bad things are. i feel like im losing my sense of control. my pride….is like….’you sit there and you f*cking suck it up.’ im so used to people depending on me. and i just dont believe people care when im just human. and no one does. having to explain A to B is for your own comprehension and judgement of me its not so you can help its not so you can be there. its so you can feel in a position to thumb your nose at me because you perceive me to be a brat. in all actuality, i should be able to bark orders to the world at large because……….how the f*ck else am i supposed to talk? thats weird. ive never not been in a position to have command of a situation…i feel really f*cking stupid and meager. this is really uncomfortable. you want me to explain myself to you. which means im….your b*tch.

            youre making me a punk. im gonna be a sissy and im gonna cry and sound stupid and ‘fetch my pail of water’ is more dignified then the trembling, meager mess of….needing help. i dont even think any of this was worth mentioning. you dont get it. im afraid of you i dont wanna talk to you just in a sensible tone of voice.

            • chameleonic

              so that you can laugh in my face, call me crazy, and leave me high and dry. men are so full of sh*t. dont pretend like my manners and tone of voice means i havent done shyt for myself and im playing victim. maybe you should OFFER to help so i dont embarass myself realizing i have no idea how to ask….

              • Marshal

                Get OVER Yourself and LISTEN to What People are Saying. Who are YOU to explain what Somebody you Don’t Know “means”??? Not Everyone is in the Ideology to take Complete Pleasure in being amused by the turmoil of others. How many times must people TRY to HELP you while you Pissing on their attempts before they say Screw It???

                Long Story Short- I spent the ages of 18-21 trying to Save my mother when she Relasped on Drugs; I had money I earned at work to Pay Bills at Her place and my Own come up “missing”, I’ve had confrontations with her Fiend Firends, even got my ass beat by her fugitive bf to the point that I had to buy a gun and Pulled it Out on Them AND Her. I even made my S/O feel like Crap and put HER in danger while dealing with my Mother until I finally had Enough and Left. I realized I couldn’t Make her Accept Help nor Make her WANT to Change, and THIS Woe-Is-Me you got in here reminds me of her. My Mother had to hit HER Level of Rock Bottom for her to Seek Assistance and she DID, she had to Seek it for Herself, not Me, not her Other Kids, not her Parents while they were Alive, not her Siblings, not even her Granddaughter that I helped into this world was Motivation for her to get Clean….

                Charmeleonic, if Tough Love and Real Talk is what it takes for all of this to sink in then So Be It; Life is not Rose Petals and Harmonic Sounds, it’s not full of Psychic Readers and Countless Good Samaritans but full of Flawed People like you, Myself, VSB and VSS, and the rest of the planet that either Do ALL they can to Get Well and Stay that way, or Fall on Hard Times and CHOOSE to Stay There out of Fear, Anger, Depression, or Whatever their Reasons/Excuses are. If you KNOW you Want More then it starts with YOU, not a Man

                • chameleonic

                  youre not listening to me. no one is listening to me and no one EVER listens. im telling you what i need and youre FORCING “tough love” down my throat. if i tell you i need water dont give me tough love. if i tell you i need a blanket dont give me tough love. if i tell you i need your time and attention dont give me tough love. youre not trying to help youre not trying to understand youre not comprehending what im saying. and im just over it.

                  for all your self righteous horsesh*t not one person asked me what ive been doing. not one person asked what ive done. you guys are total strangers but the fact of the matter is i broke every bone in my body and shed every ounce of blood to make a clear shot for myself. and when i tell a man ‘okay…this i cant do so i need you to help me’ …..this isnt a power struggle.

                  and yeah, at this point im convinced my suffering is the joy of others and dont sit there and lie to my face like it isnt. i dont want anything from anyone and thats the end. you all have made your point.

            • Rewind

              You’re deflecting because none of the things I’ve said contained that kind of inflammatory language.

              I gave you the game the way it was taught to me…but in words..instead of ass whippings which is how I learned it.

              My advice is yours to take how you like, but don’t ever..and I mean..EVER misjudge my words. My time is money and I gave you a free consultation. That won’t happen again. I’m not saying that to be mean, I’m saying it because I would never tell you personal information that caused me years of heart ache to get just to sound smart on the internet. I told it to you because I think of you as an interesting person beyond font. End of story. Make of it what you will.

              • chameleonic

                you called me a spoiled victim who does nothing to help herself without asking what ive done or what my life is outside of my font. yet you load your judgement on me and apply it to a wound thats soul deep as if you are stating fact. im not deflecting. if youve ever had a deep laceration or a broken bone that requires pressure…you tend to fight the sh*t out of the person who applies it. and if you make one tiiiiiny little mistake im done and im conscious and this is excruciating. if anything im trying to readjust you where youre pressuring me. youre, not necessarily you, or ever you now that i think about it….

                but ‘you’ are in the wrong spot. and it hurts more than i was already hurting. or maybe youre in the right spot. maybe….i should be quiet and let the pressure do….something. i dunno. i dont feel awake anymore. i feel like i see my own world and people dont see inside it or empathize with how i feel and therefore my need conflicts with a judgement of limited knowledge.

                which i cant even say thats wrong. if you know nothing of me sure, call me spoiled call me a victim call me lazy. but to straight up not ask, not care, insult me, degrade me, slap me with ‘spoiled’ and pressure me to accept thats what this is? na.

                if you feel or think a certain way about me put that on yourself. dont try to stomp me out and call it ANY version of love. thats how you kill a bug its not how you behave towards a living human being. but like i KEEP saying, its cool lol. dont ask for anything. got it.

                • chameleonic

                  [*crossing arms*] i didnt mean to offend you. sh*t hurt and i reacted…ive come to learn ‘spoiled’ is code for ‘accept i will neglect you.’ thats the truth. me being spoiled is flawed logic. 2+2=8. but dont ask for the real scoop and isht…

          • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

            Rewind you’re a TROOPER man. U have the patience of a saint to even read her posts let alone respond with so much calm and empathetic reasoning. U really took that phrase to heart huh? “What Would Jesus Do?” lol

            • Asiyah

              Word.

            • Rewind

              Word to me..she’s not the first, nor will she be the last. And I remember how hard headed I was when I was going through it.

              But with that said….Rewind’s free consultations only go but so far.

              Then it’s about that cash money.

      • Aly

        …plenty of VSS’s were like “well just get the damn blanket”

        Lolwut? Where’d you see that? Not one woman said that he should get the blanket. In fact, three women said she should get it herself. Let’s not start a battle of the sexes.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          she had the altenate-universe VSB tab going. kind of like white Twitter.

        • SweetSass

          RIGHT! Stop the maddness… we did not cosign that crazy azz thread.
          +1000

      • Asiyah

        Rewind, hon, just because every grown man has been through it doesn’t mean that it ceases to be a teenage thing. Some people–male or female–never graduate HS.

        • Rewind

          True. I’m just saying…VSB is one website. It aint just people here that have these problems and complaints..it’s people everywhere. So I just don’t like it when people say stupid shyte like “I don’t know what girls you messing with or yall need to stop messing with them young chicks”…because they are same ones dudes are talking about.

          You right though, this is some kid shyte.

      • SweetSass

        Must be a lot of dudes dating teenagers up on here. If you wanna date down that much… don’t complain when they act immature. Date grown azz women.

        • Asiyah

          +1!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          gonna have to call shenanigans here. i know everybody who ventures to VSB is a unicorn. but let’s all acknowledge that people tend to trend a lot more towards the mean than we all apparently do here. that’s the reason why all these books and general ass sites make such a killing. people are people…except at VSB.

          • SweetSass

            There are bunch of guys who want to date women that are significantly younger than they are. If they do so… no wonder they are seeing immaturity. Common sense.

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

              however, all men are not dating women that much younger than them. so to imply that’s the reason why so much of this sh*t happens makes two faulty assumptions:

              1. that all women actually mature as they get older
              2. that these actions are solely the realm of young women

              neither of those are absolutely true.

              • Rewind

                Do not respond to the Non-Logic Monster.

    • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

      Lol@”Thirsty ass silence.”

    • http://twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

      “…and they both sit there in angry. Thirsty ass silence. Like real grown ups.”

      Sounds like the ending of a story called ‘My Children Went To College and No One Does Ridiculous Tasks for Us Anymore’

      • Angel Baby

        Lol

  • http://TheSoberLover.com Eric

    When you cherish her, you have the blanket ready on deck.
    You know she’ll do the same.
    Make the little things automatic, and when something serious pops up, you won’t think twice.

    Trust me, I know the feeling :: http://www.thesoberlover.com/grownmanromance-when-it-doesnt-seem-worth-it/

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      ya know, i suppose in some ways that could work. hell in my house i have blankets all over the place. you need it, you grab it.

    • http://www.todisspits.blogspot.com MicTheMessenger

      This is how i feel

  • Marshal

    For some odd reason, (Many, not All) Women LOVE to create Relationship/Devotion/Loyalty Tests from Nowhere for Guys regardless if We (guys) are watching TV, We (as a Couple) are Out doing Whatever or if She/I/We are doing Absolutely Nothing at All….

    REAL Men DO NOT Test Women like that… Boys Do, Nuccas Do, SIMPS do, but Real Men Don’t

    • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

      Top notch women don’t either. It’s an insecure person’s game to do that, period.

      • http://Www.shay-d-lady.com Shay-d-lady

        Right. TQ. Right

      • Rewind

        But insecurity runs so rampant

        • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

          ^^^ Say it again for those in the cheap seats Rewind.

          • demondog06

            man like you didn’t hear him….with your cybersonic hearing

            android…….

            • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

              Admit it: you just think I’m too dope to be a human, don’t you? :) lol

              • demondog06

                hence all the robotica jokes bay bay..

            • Rewind

              This warranted the very loud laugh I gave it.

          • Rewind

            *gets my Revered suit on*

            I said uh! These people out there today ha! They just don’t know ha! They just dont knooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow ha! That ignorance….I said ignorance ha! Ignorance runs so rampant today HA LAWWWWD HA!

            Can I get an AMEN?

            • Breezy

              *Taps mic*

              Rewind, please report to the Eddie Long corner immediately. Thank you!!!

              • Rewind

                Breezy LEMME ALONE!

                Let a man have his moment!

        • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

          @ Rewind- Right, I didn’t wanna say it….That’s the unfortunate part. Not enough top notch women out here from a security/emotional maturity standpoint…then again I’m only in my mid twenties. Hopefully it gets better…maybe I’m just meeting all the wrong women…

          • Rewind

            It’s just people in general. We don’t all grow up exuding confidence. Most of us are damaged goods trying to put the pieces back together, but only a chosen few admit to that. So it’s a hard pill we all have to swallow.

    • verver

      That’s BS. Men test women too, it’s just not in terms of relationships. Relationships are generally what women want, and they test men to see how much the guy is feeling them. They feel good when they are safe and secure in a bonded relationship. For men, it’s in terms of sex, since that’s what men want. Men try to see how much they can get women to do in bed to see how much the girl is feeling them. They feel happy and good when they are getting some awesome sex. It’s basically the same thing.

      • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

        Except it’s actually not. Men ask women to do certain chex acts because they actually enjoy those acts a LOT, and are hoping that the girl is open to them and might enjoy them too. It’s not about “seeing where they stand”. Well, not for me at least. Perhaps what you’re saying is true for some men. I wouldn’t really know. Let me just explain through an example:

        1) I don’t have any desire to get anal from chicks. Therefore I NEVER ask for it, or even bring it up. The female equivalent in Panama’s story would STILL ask for it just to see if she could get it.
        2) I don’t get the hype about facials. I get curious from time to time, but it’s something I don’t find that enticing. So I don’t/wouldn’t ask for it. If she asked me to give her one, then I would, but otherwise it won’t even come up (pause, not like that though lol). Compare that to the chick from Panama’s example.
        3) I appreciate a chick who swallows (who doesn’t?) but it’s not all that important to me (catching is completely different story tho) so if she spit it out, I personally wouldn’t be offended, upset, or turned off. I wouldn’t b*tch and moan about her not swallowing just to test and see if I could make her step past her boundaries….the chick in the example, would’ve gotten all melo-dramatic and offended at the emotional equivalent to that….

        make sense?

        • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

          Release me from moderation. I was just giving her an example!

    • Asiyah

      Marshal and Co.

      Where are you guys meeting these women? I have come across more men who do this than women. Maybe I hang out with easy-going gals or gals who have such low self-esteem they don’t even bother doing tests for fear that it will blow up in their faces LOL

      • Marshal

        I don’t Do Tests nor Take Tests that aren’t for Employment or Academic, Ever. I stopped that as a 16yr old. I can be Celibate if I Want/Need to, I don’t need/want a Woman under or around me Longer than She or I want or need to be, I’m not thirsty to Date or anything of the sort. From where I’m from, what I’ve seen and expereinced, and especially where I live and work NOW, there are and have been More Women on the Tests to gague a Man’s Fidelity, Compassion, Devotion and Loyalty than the reverse. Few Men allow Emotions and Feelings to lead the majority of their choices and actions, hence my dialoge upthread

        • Asiyah

          I know dear but I’m wondering where you roll at loool

          • Rewind

            I roll in NYC…with hood rats, hipsters, trendy chicks, Wall Street execs, and fashionistas and guess what….aint nothing different about none of them except the level of dedication to their crazy.

            People are people, that’s the end of the story.

            • Asiyah

              Depeche Mode!

              Where’s PA? He gets this lol

      • demondog06

        of course your gonna come across more men that do it….you not gonna see this as much from your circle of female friends because you’re not behind closed doors with them and they dudes.. i’m totally assuming that you’re hetero by the way

        there is a whole industry via books, women’s magazines, web sites etc with what is usually pu$$y pandering men or women giving other women advice about men, how to test him to see if he’s really into you, how to do this, how not to do that….the vast majority of it all bullshit that plays on women’s insecurities, because women’s insecurites = $$$$ for those seek to exploit them.

        so yeah women test dudes all of the time and before any vss says that she doesn’t…..ZIP IT! because you do. you all do. from the moment you meet us until the day death grants us sweet release from your tyrannical feminine clutches..

        • demondog06

          moderation yet again…this is why i don’t comment as much nowadays

          • Breezy

            Didnt I tell you hush?!?!? You like being in those clutches :)

        • Asiyah

          yes I’m hetero

          I know I don’t see what’s behind closed doors, and I don’t assume no woman does it. I just don’t understand where you guys find these testers all the time. Is the female pool homogenous where y’all are at? You mean to tell me that there are no other women who don’t test men all the time to balance the pool out? Come on!

          As for me seeing more men do it, I grew up in the hood, and you know how that is. You have to earn and prove your loyalty. Lots of men I know apply this to women. They may not have “a glass of water” type of test, but they have tests nonetheless. And the sad part is that the women don’t even know they were being tested, let alone that they failed, because homeboy will just continue to act normally but never wife her up.

  • Rewind

    You know what…I’ma set the tone.

    We are going to get half the ladies saying “Where they do that at?” and we’ll get the other half to say “well just get the damn water”, and maybe 2 people like Esa, Aly, or Mango to say something like profound. All the men will try to make sense of all the decent and ratchet posts, give an applause to the profound ones, and then come to general consensus that most women just don’t see anything wrong with what they do…even though that’s a bad generalization.

    There. I just saved VSB from a whole day of posts. I’m no psychic, I’m just that damn good.

    And oh yea…that chick is trippin. She fell down. Trippin that hard. Face first. Nose all in the concrete. Word. She gets ignored for being that much of a jerk.

    • http://twitter.com/kjnetic Sith King Jordan aka Bruce Lil’ Wayne bka 2 Fitted Hatz

      can i be the one who just drops random Scenario lyrics?

      or nah?

      no batteries included, no strings attached?

      • Rewind

        I heard you rushed and rushed/and attacked

        • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 Fiveisthenumber

          Rambunction…

        • http://twitter.com/kjnetic Sith King Jordan aka Bruce Lil’ Wayne bka 2 Fitted Hatz

          i mean, i’m saying…I’m vexed, fumin, I’ve had it up to here. My days of payin dues are over, acknowledge we is in there

          • Rewind

            Yes yes y’all (yes y’all!)
            who got the vibe it’s the Tribe y’all (Tribe y’all!)
            real live y’all (live y’all!)
            Inside outside come around… (who’s that??) Browwwwwwwwn

            • http://twitter.com/kjnetic sith king jordan

              inside outside, Call me Charlie….word to the herb and the Beat is Bob Marley

              • demondog06

                Lay back on the pay back, CONTACT!
                Can I get a hit? HIT!
                Boom Bip with a brother named Tip and we’re ready to flip
                East coast stompin, rippin and rompin
                New York, North Cak-a-laka, and Compton
                Checka-checka-check it out…….

    • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

      What? I never say anything profound?! :-(

      • Aly

        I was surprised to find out that I DO. Interesting…

        • Rewind

          So you don’t think you’ve ever said one really interesting thing on here before?

          • Aly

            Interesting yes, profound…hmm, maybe? I’ll take the compliment though, thank you.

            • Rewind

              Okie dokie, you’re welcome.

      • Rewind

        Val you always say something profound. I was just giving example at 1:20 while I was dead tired.

        But if you wanna hit me for it, go ahead.

        • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

          I’m going to save that punch for future use. :-)

          • Rewind

            lmao Val you EVIL!

    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

      (giggle)

      i have nothinn today. except this ::
      Do. Not. Turn. Your. Man. Into. Your. Houseboy.

      #recipefordisaster

      • Rewind

        She’s even heavenly when she giggles.

        Co-sign to that #nohouseboyswag

        Once that happens, the drama is endless.

      • Asiyah

        #recipefordisaster

        indeed. that’s why I don’t cook. I don’t do recipes.

        • Rewind

          WHAAAT?

          Cooking is awesome homie.

      • SweetSass

        How often does this happen? Outside of sitcoms, though. I’ve never seen it.

        • http://missrosen.wordpress.com esa

          i am speaking from personal experience. it was not a sitcom tho my phrasing may have made it sound like one.

        • Asiyah

          WHO’S THE BOSS?

          great show.

          • SweetSass

            She didnt make her man her houseboy… she made her houseboy her man. Pa-POW!

    • Tanny

      I love your comments:-)

      • Rewind

        Awww why thank you very much Tanny.

        Aussie love feels good.

    • Breezy

      Rewind: Nicca you en shid!!!! I don’t have nothing profound to add to the convo?!?!?!? Fa serious?!??!?

      FORGET.YOU.

      • Juiciest Mango

        Breezy Baby!

        • Breezy

          Hi MAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Rewind

        lmaoooo I’m so going to die today.

        That’s payback for leaving me in the corner for like 2 weeks. Nucka you aint even turn the lights on!

    • YeahSo

      I just wanted to register my “NIGGA WHAAA?”… cause I ain’t on the profound and sh*t list.

      • YeahSo

        lol… oops the n word got me banged up… F*ck!

      • Rewind

        Damnit. Fine.

        Ok YeahSo be one of the most prolific mafuhkas on the planet. How dare I, Rewind, forget such gloriousness? I need to repent for my sins!

        • YeahSo

          Umm you need to burn a candle

          • Rewind

            YOu are so mean