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hay season: the people, places, and things that make me itch

back pocket

along with unusual virility,  and a head shaped like the working end of a cruise missile, my parents passed an acute sensitivity to idiocy on to me. as i’ve grown older, these sensitivities have become so concentrated and pronounced that i can now honestly say that i’m seriously allergic to bullsh*t.

this affliction is extremely troublesome, as it causes me to start itching uncontrollably whenever i’m in the presence of or a witness to it. in fact, just last week i almost scratched my entire left forearm off when trying to listen to “ghetto techno” all the way through

anyway, because writing about bullsh*t can be very therapeutic and cathartic for me, i’ve decided to name a few more people, places, and things that have been making me itch.

black men who sound like white men trying to sound black (aka “the stu scott” or “the kappa”)

yo, champ. this blog is slammin. word up.

yo, champ. this blog is slammin'. word up.

the phrase “grown and sexy”

a term which is now just a three word euphemism for “drug dealers who launder their money through rim shops and the social services chicks and teachers who want to sleep with them”

grown women rocking pocket-less jeans

has officially replaced clear heels as the standard universal, “she’s probably a ho. nttawwt” uniform

soft chicken wings

there’s nothing more itch-inducing than ordering a dozen cajun chicken wings, but getting a dozen pieces of slippery meat with skin that looks like it came from the bedridden pedophile in seven.

coffee shops that don’t offer free wi-fi

every time i enter one i’m tempted to call up the manager and ask “they still make you?” like i’m chris rock

the “i can make your p*ssy whistle” line in drake’s, “best i ever had”

while i admittedly don’t mind drake as much as my vsb partner does, since when is a whistling p*ssy what’s torrid on the thoroughfare?

seriously, am i missing something here? what woman wants a stepin fetchit-ass p*ssy, and what guy would brag about giving a woman something that sounds like the premise from an episode of “tales of the crypt”?

the fact that i have great mobile internet service everywhere except my own f*cking apartment

i don’t know whats more itch worthy, the fact that i live in the only 900 square foot part of “the most connected community in pittsburgh” without good service, or the fact that i live in a 900 square foot apartment

not being able to grow a beard like black thought

***simultaneously filed under “some bullsh*t” and “things champ has said that are at least 84 percent gay”***

that’s enough therapy for me. people of vsb.com, what bullsh*t is making you itch right now?

—the champ

Filed Under: , ,
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

    Ok first of all. WHY is Stuart Scott rocking THREE different stripes in that pic? I’m offended about that above all else. WHO TOLD HIM IT WAS OK???

    I also itch when I see someone like Kim from “Real Housewives of Atlanta” have a hit single out. She was tardy for the party on the day the Lawd handed out good voices. iCan’t.

    iItch at folks’ love of Lady Gaga. That wench is scary @ me.

    and above all… I itch at the sight of Bey’s love pocket from a too-small & too-high cut onesie she wore at a concert. If u need a weekly brazilian wax to rock ur concert outfits, u r indeed doing THE MOST.

    • cam1ll3

      @Luvvie,

      i could actually do without kim forever. is that wrong?

      • MzKang

        @cam1ll3,

        “i could actually do without kim forever. is that wrong?”

        I’d still be able to sleep at night if I never see her or hear her again.

      • YGB

        @cam1ll3,

        I’m so glad my only exposure to those people is limited to the innanets! Coz I heard that tardy for the party boolsheet and it’s a nuisance I coulda done without!!

      • Sula

        @cam1ll3,

        Make that the whole Real Housewives of (fill in the blank) series altogether, and we’ll be in business.

    • miss t-lee

      @Luvvie,
      “WHY is Stuart Scott rocking THREE different stripes in that pic?”

      I was wondering that also. He’s got like 17 colors on.

      • Nikkisix

        @miss t-lee,
        No, he has on 18 colors. You forgot to count his mismatched eye.

        • Smiley Face

          @Nikkisix,

          *GASP*….aaawwwwwwwwww

        • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Thuggie Luvvie

          @Nikkisix,

          U going straight to the pits of Dereon bedazzled Hell where u will be doomed to a lifetime of lace onesies and tacky hairhats.

          • Nikkisix

            @Thuggie Luvvie,

            ok, ok, ok…i got people texting me about this here comment so i will say this…at least his eye compliments his outfit. *shrugs*

        • miss t-lee

          @Nikkisix,
          *stifled laugh*
          I didn’t wanna go in on his eye.
          This is some premium hate though. Kudos!!! :)

        • ofloveandotherdemons

          @Nikkisix,
          Lol. Ice Cold!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Luvvie, Lady Gaga is such an odd celeb. Nothing about her is even remotely interesting yet she’s the most out-there artist out.

      She doesnt make me itch, she just genuinely perplexes me.

      • http://musicmakesmehigh.wordpress.com Reecie

        @Panama Jackson, fake me out 90s Madonna is what she is. but I kinda rock to Poker Face #dontjudgeme

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Panama Jackson,

        She doesnt make me itch, she just genuinely perplexes me.

        me too. i’m enthralled with lady gaga

        • The One & True GEM… of the Ocean

          @The Champ,

          or as the gheys call her–la gaga

  • Purplenat

    the phrase “grown and sexy”

    Also used to describe 20-22-year-olds (mostly women) who have still not developed social skills but need some way to ignore it and call other people immature without actually using the word immature.

    (Incidentally, most of these women are abysmally overweight and feel the need to show more skin than anyone ever should. Period.)

    • YGB

      @Purplenat,

      LOL! This term is also favoured by boys who look like Souljah Boy or Bow Wow!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Purplenat, and you can’t forget how “grown and sexy” ALSO is the indicator that you will encounter at least 20 dudes with striped button ups, jeans and some offbrand diesel/steve madden shoes.

      it basically means that you will have to fight in your good clothes.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Panama Jackson,

        some offbrand diesel/steve madden shoes.

        i’ve been calling those shoes “weasels” for the past three years now

  • Leila

    Co-sign on the coffee shops….

    Other things that make me itch:
    - radio stations that play the same 2 or 3 artists over and over
    - Men in their 30s acting like they’re still in college.
    - People who don’t like a certain sport and go out of their way to prove that it shouldn’t be a sport. I hear this the most from people who don’t like soccer or basketball (ironically my 2 fave sports)
    - LA traffic – Why does it take forever to get anywhere? I went to a Maxwell concert and it took me 45 minutes to drive 1 mile.

    • cam1ll3

      @Leila,

      cosign on #3. rugby. it’s manly as hell. very much a sport. laws, yes.

    • ofloveandotherdemons

      @Leila,
      Cosign on LA traffic. Actually throw in all the counties between LA and the OC. I’m about to buy me a third hand( raised to the power 10 nth degree) helicopter. We can go halfsies if you want.

      • Leila

        @ofloveandotherdemons, Yes I’m in. Everytime I’m in LA, I never want to drive.

    • tnt_FTW

      @Leila,
      cosign on men in 30s acting like they got stuck at 21

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Leila, – Men in their 30s acting like they’re still in college.

      better than them acting like they’re 14 with no ambition for college but instead ambitionz az a ridah

      - People who don’t like a certain sport and go out of their way to prove that it shouldn’t be a sport. I hear this the most from people who don’t like soccer or basketball (ironically my 2 fave sports)

      i was expecting you to say something like cheerleading, fencing or rating women…who argues that soccer and basketball aren’t sports? those people need jesus or at least somebody to pray to if christianity isn’t their thing.

      oh they’re also retarded.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Panama Jackson,

        was expecting you to say something like cheerleading, fencing or rating women…who argues that soccer and basketball aren’t sports? those people need jesus or at least somebody to pray to if christianity isn’t their thing.

        i was thinking the same thing, lol. i mean, i know some people might hate the nba, but i dont know if ive ever met a person that was like “bitch-ass basketball aint no f*ckin sport.”

        • Leila

          @The Champ, “i know some people might hate the nba, but i dont know if ive ever met a person that was like “bitch-ass basketball aint no f*ckin sport.”

          I’ve heard it more for soccer (anyone who’s played soccer knows that’s a physical sport and you have to be in top shape), but it will be a random 2520 male at work that loves football and rant about how basketball isn’t a sport.

        • Wanjiru

          @The Champ,
          Eh…Exhibit A : http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=6884486387
          and there are a coupla groups with gems like this:
          “The only good thing about american football is the cheerleaders… and if you’ve got a weak blader you’ll be ok because theres an advert every 20 seconds…” (sic- all previous). But then again- they all have like 6-24 members so am not quitting the human race just yet.

      • ofloveandotherdemons

        @Panama Jackson,
        Or curling. Have you ever seen this sport? It’s mind boggling. I’m not sure what the actual goal, or premise behind it is, but to me it looks like they are sweeping a large, flat disk around a rink. I don’t get it. Although that didn’t stop me from watching an hour (ok, more like two) of it.

        • Sula

          @ofloveandotherdemons,

          Hey, it’s popular up North in Canada! I love the Canuks. Lol!

      • Leila

        @Panama Jackson, “i was expecting you to say something like cheerleading, fencing or rating women…who argues that soccer and basketball aren’t sports? those people need jesus or at least somebody to pray to if christianity isn’t their thing”

        Seriously. It’s always one guy at work who loves football arguing about how basketball is not a sport. It irritates me.

    • Lavonne

      @Leila, Amen on the 30 and up men who still act they are still on freakin campus

      • Leila

        @Lavonne, haha. I don’t know what happens in their 30s, but so many guys that I know are going back in maturity. I know guys in their mid-30s still acting like they’re 21 and they don’t see how silly they look.

    • Sula

      @Leila,

      I swear I missed my flight a month ago trying to get from Santa Monica to the Airport. It took us 1 hour and a half!!! That’s not even 20 miles!!! And it was a saturday!!!

      I truly appreciated Houston’s traffic afterwards. Lol!

      • http://rainbowlens.wordpress.com Gem…from Houston

        @Sula, You know it’s a bit of magic in the air if you appreciate Houston’s traffic. I’m stank-faced every day after work.

  • http://TheSunk.com The Hallway

    I got Scratch, Cuz I Got Itch Vol 1

    1. My inability to be inspried to write as of late.

    2. Ninjas that cnt dress n let their tie hang all the way dwn to their man-tie or they tie it so short that it resembles a bib. Where Dey Do Dat At?

    3. Courteous drivers. The ones that sit there at the stop sign giving you the double-blink to go, and soon as you pull off they pull up. N next thing you know yall car dancing at a dvmn stop sign at 10 o’clock in at nite.

    4. Poeple that walk too slow to go around you on the sidewalk, but too fast to give u ur six-feet no effin’ pressure.

    5. Chicks with bad weave. Weave that looks like weave.

    6. Ninjas dat cnt match. Royal blue and sky blue aint the same blue.

    7. The Fact that Gucci Man is goin Mainstream.

    8. Black people that think being black starts at the dvmn Transatlantic slave trade. N define black by socioeconomic factors that produce only so many social determinants of a group of people that occupy that one space and time period. Hence the term swagg or fly.

    9. Women with rusty feet, while wearing baby doll shoes make me itch.

    10. People that dnt keep their word.

    11. Being owed money makes me itch. I mean I see yo a$$ everday n u never bring up dat dvmn money you owe me. Sheet, Sumbody cud possibly get hurt. N i dnt care if it was only the tax for a bag of salt n sour vitners. Gimme my dvmn change.

    12. Fast food. Why is Mcdonalds burgers startng to resemble White Castle’s sliders. Phuck is this? Jus one pickle right. Phuck is yo problem

    • RedPlum

      @The Hallway,

      “Courteous drivers. The ones that sit there at the stop sign giving you the double-blink to go, and soon as you pull off they pull up. N next thing you know yall car dancing at a dvmn stop sign at 10 o’clock in at nite.”

      Oooooooooo this pisses me off something serious!! LOL

    • Smiley Face

      @The Hallway, “2. Ninjas that cnt dress n let their tie hang all the way dwn to their man-tie or they tie it so short that it resembles a bib. Where Dey Do Dat At?

      baltimore…lol

    • miss t-lee

      @The Hallway,
      “7. The Fact that Gucci Man is goin Mainstream. ”

      Brrr!!!!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @The Hallway, 7. The Fact that Gucci Man is goin Mainstream.

      its really hard to hate on Gucci Mane. for one, dude knows how to pick a hit. if you think about it, nearly every song he’s released has been a hit, from “so icey” to “freaky girls” and you all KNOW you love “wasted” right now.

      hell, even “real hiphop” heads like freakin’ Walé have Gucci Mane on their ALBUMS. lol.

      sidenote, Gucci Mane is a better rapper than Guru from Gangstarr. lol. how fun would it be to see a Gucci Mane/Premier collabo. change the group name to Trapstarr (which i assume is already taken but just drop that sh*t and roll with it…)

      • http://TheSunk.com The Hallway

        @Panama Jackson,

        I didnt say I didnt like Gucci Mane, but I like to keep sum of my favorite rappers underground. I jus dnt like that he’s goin mainstream as in having Jamie Foxx and Usher on songs. Example is Spotlight that sheet is trash. Like Lil Keke, Crooked I, I was even listening to Soulja Boy before he got on.

        Soulja Boy had songs suchI Got Me Sum Bathing Apes, Booty Meat, Give Me a High Five. But when he got on no one ever heard of those songs.

      • http://thephiladelphianegro.blogspot.com/ ThePhiladelphiaNegro

        @Panama Jackson,

        “Gucci Mane is a better rapper than Guru from Gangstarr”

        Uhh…I know you were just playing and all fam. Right?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @The Hallway,

      2. Ninjas that cnt dress n let their tie hang all the way dwn to their man-tie or they tie it so short that it resembles a bib. Where Dey Do Dat At?

      the NFL

    • ofloveandotherdemons

      @The Hallway,
      ‘…while wearing baby doll shoes make me itch.’ What the h**l are baby doll shoes?

      ‘Being owed money makes me itch. ‘ Yeah, my policy is if I give it to you I don’t expect it back. Makes life alot less aggravating, and I don’t end up losing friends or catching a criminal case. The kikuyu in me will cut someone for messing with their money; might as well just consider all loans as gifts.

      • Wanjiru

        @ofloveandotherdemons,
        The kikuyu in me will cut someone for messing with their money You KNOW that’s right. With no tut tutting when they hear you caught a case for cutting “that fool who owes me $200- and I still saw him at the club”.

        • Me fail english?

          @Wanjiru,

          lol! Years ago my ex let a friend borrow a jacketm, just to go outside. Weeks later we see dude round the way in the jacket…with the matching pants! My man, made him a lil set! Bwahahahaha

          • Wanjiru

            @Me fail english?,
            loloudest! I wonder if it’s worse if he first borrowed the jacket and then bought the pants – or he had the pants first and borrowed the jacket. smh.

      • sweet and sour chicken with a glass of wine

        @ofloveandotherdemons,
        Understand what you mean. My grandma was half Kyuk and it trickled down. You better not mess with my money.. ;-)

      • http://TheSunk.com The Hallway

        @ofloveandotherdemons,

        The shoes women wear without socks. They barely pass the ankles, alot of women wear them now.

    • Wanjiru

      @The Hallway,
      Being owed money makes me itch. This needs to be taken much, much more seriously. If I lend you $500- don’t give me $6.75 (in quarters) three months later and call it “first installment”. Or, don’t give me $322 with fake surcharges e.g. “remember that time when you gave me a ride from DC and I paid the toll? I deducted $2″ . This is just foul.

      • gReenCurRy

        @Wanjiru,

        …Lol that’s why nukkas go “Remy ma” on their own friends. It might as well be stealing.
        Nobody likes to get “stole” on? can’t be good for ur sel esteem.

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

    Not sure if it’s real bullsh*t but I itch at all the natural hair nonsense that is sweeping the world. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve been natural 17 years. But back in the day, when I conditioned my hair it was called conditioning. Now ninjas have a new word for it – co-wash – and wanna get offended and whatnot cuz you refuse to acknowledge that dumb ish. Sigh.

    Mo fos who step out of their lane in the workplace make me ish. The admit they don’t know jack about the digital space or writing or video but that doesn’t stop them from making really bad suggestions and getting mad when you don’t include their foolywang in your plans.

    Finally, I break out in hives when mo fos judge a school/neighborhood by one unfortunate, tragic incident and forget the fact ish hasn’t happened in that area in years and was, for the most part, relatively quiet.

    • JamaicanGirl

      @V.E.G., I totally agree with the Natural hair hoopla. All of a sudden everyone wants to go natural, walking around with conditioner dripping from your hair because you want it to be curly when you know you don’t have naturally curly hair.

      • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

        @JamaicanGirl,

        “walking around with conditioner dripping from your hair because you want it to be curly when you know you don’t have naturally curly hair”

        So true, so sad. I also think this is why the care free curl is back. Folks are in denial about their hair textures.

        • Deviant

          @V.E.G.,

          did I mention how that stuff smells like like turds dipped in gasoline?

      • ofloveandotherdemons

        @JamaicanGirl,
        Right. What’s with all the fancy terms and even fancier, insanely priced products? It’s hair; it will grow. It’s what it does; stop with the insanity already. People acting like they just invented air, because they choose to wear their hair unprocessed. All that smug, self righteous congratulatory air emanating from you is affecting my ability to breath. Go away!!

        • ladytreez

          @ofloveandotherdemons

          I feel you on that one. I switch my hairstyles all the time…dreds to fro to ceasar back to fro to doobie to the short halle bob. Funny how many of those self righteous “natural” skeezoids turned their noses up at me while smacking on their bbq pork rinds…

        • The One & True GEM… of the Ocean

          @ofloveandotherdemons,

          lmao indeed.

      • miss t-lee

        @JamaicanGirl,
        Yep in denial….not everyone is gonna have Tracee Ellis Ross type hair. Work what you got!!!

      • Smiley Face

        @JamaicanGirl,

        Yes LAWD!!! Folk got fiddy ‘leven products that do the….same….dayum…ish!!! Why do I have to buy “coconut oil infused coconut cream” for $25 when I can go to Safeway and buy some coconut oil for $5…they better leave me alone, lol.

        they get the automatic o_O from me…daggone Napzis (naptural nazis)

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @ally’all, y’all stay with hair issues up in here, up in here…lol

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Panama Jackson,

          seriously. sometimes it feels like i accidentally logged on to nappturality

    • cam1ll3

      @V.E.G.,

      lol@foolywang. sooooo biting this.

    • miss t-lee

      @V.E.G.,
      “Now ninjas have a new word for it – co-wash – and wanna get offended and whatnot cuz you refuse to acknowledge that dumb ish”

      Hahahah. I love you for that. Sounds like some folks round these chere internets.

      • Smiley Face

        @miss t-lee,

        SOME???, lol you’re being too nice, lol!!

        • miss t-lee

          @Smiley Face,
          I know…I know…lol
          I’m still part of one community that catches a lot of flak so I didn’t wanna go all in. I just ignore the craziness they be talking when I’m on there.

          • Smiley Face

            @miss t-lee,

            LOL…i know of which community you speak of. I’m apart of it too…rarely do I comment though…I’m too busy smdh, lol

    • Voiceovereason

      @V.E.G.,

      Not sure if it’s real bullsh*t but I itch at all the natural hair nonsense that is sweeping the world. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve been natural 17 years. But back in the day, when I conditioned my hair it was called conditioning. Now ninjas have a new word for it – co-wash – and wanna get offended and whatnot cuz you refuse to acknowledge that dumb ish. Sigh.

      What’s a co-wash? I stopped relaxing about 10 years ago and I’ve never heard of it. Then again I don’t go to salons all that much. I don’t think there’s much a stylist can do that I can’t (other than cut and color).

      • Smiley Face

        @Voiceovereason,

        Where you “wash” your hair with conditioner instead of shampoo to prevent your hair from being stripped of oils by the SLS content…which I never understood b/c I put oil in my hair anyway..*shrugs* folks different

    • Wanjiru

      @V.E.G.,
      Mo fos who step out of their lane in the workplace make me ish… if only I had a dollar for every stoopid suggestion I’ve had to shoot down from the “I admit I don’t know much about the subject, but have you ever considered…” wikipedia page-knowledge folk

  • http://aintshewavee.blogspot.com GiGi

    Plies and other people with shiny things growing from their mouths make me itch.

    The way Kandi (RHoA) always talks without moving her mouth makes me itch.

    Even though she’s not relevant, Khia makes me itch. She’s pretty much Plies with dreds, in my eyes…

    • MzKang

      @GiGi,

      “people with shiny things growing from their mouths ”

      LOL LOL LOL….truth!

    • Ms. Hall

      @GiGi,

      “…people with shiny things growing from their mouths make me itch. ”

      Is there some meaning behind the “beauty mark” piercings some ladies have at the bottom corner of their mouths? I’ve been back in the DMV for 3 months and it seems to be the IN thing to do.

      • miss t-lee

        @Ms. Hall,
        Oh it’s running rampant ’round chere too. It’s a mess.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Ms. Hall, even lil wayne has one. you know, i remember a time when only white people did stuff like that and pierced random strange places and wore really tight jeans and ed hardy style tight clothes and looked really dirty all the time.

        apparently the recession ain’t as bad as we think cuz a lot of ninjas do a lot of sh*t that employers don’t like.

        for instance, in Atlanta (le sigh), for the LONGEST time, you didn’t even have to ask a chick her name you could just look at her arm and see that damn “name tat” that was so omnipresent in the A for so many years. i HATE that tat. HATE HATE HATE it. you know your name, already right? unless you cant spell it b/c your parents are morons you really don’t need to tat your name on your body. shit, asking somebody’s name is a convo starter. you ruining the convo, beeeyotch.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Panama Jackson,

          you ruining the convo, beeeyotch.

          definitely a t-shirt

        • ofloveandotherdemons

          @Panama Jackson,
          “…i remember a time when only white people did stuff like that and pierced random strange places and wore really tight jeans….”
          Alright, except for the tacky Ed Hardy gear, I like tight jeans, multiple piercing and a s**t load of tats on my men. I think it’s a good look. I know, I know, I’m in the minority on this here blog, but I’m going to stand for my tight jeans wearing-tated/pierced/body modifaction loving brethren. Poor things, no one’s got any love for them.

          • Sula

            @ofloveandotherdemons,

            I like tight jeans, multiple piercing and a s**t load of tats on my men. I think it’s a good look.

            Well, I’ll join your parade dahling. Don’t let them have a mohawk, and I am melting…. I guess it’s the spill over from my love of Emo Rockers. :)

            *sigh*

      • http://aintshewavee.blogspot.com GiGi

        @Ms. Hall,
        They’re running rampant here in OH too. Clearly everyone here thinks they’re stylin when they’re pretty much getting everyone else’s trend leftovers lmao.

        PS: This is gross, but those piercings always remind me of someone who sneezed, tried to wipe the boogie away, but didn’t quiiiiiiite get all of it. Basically, a shiny booger. And nothing about boogers is sexxy.

      • ofloveandotherdemons

        @Ms. Hall,
        I kinda like that piercing. I wouldn’t get because…well, you know I’like being employed. But I do think it’s pretty.

        • Me fail english?

          @ofloveandotherdemons,

          I was thinking that too! I like em alot, but I have a pretty eccentric sense of style.

    • http://www.firstdatefrenzy.wordpress.com GiGi

      @GiGi,

      there’s another gigi? :O

      • http://aintshewavee.blogspot.com GiGi

        @GiGi,
        yes!!! :-)

        When I first saw your comment, I was like “hey, I didn’t write that!” lol…

        • http://www.firstdatefrenzy.wordpress.com GiGi

          @GiGi,
          pleased to e-meet ya.

        • The One & True GEM… of the Ocean

          @GiGi & @ GiGi

          oh hell no!! lol yall need to have something to distinguish yall too. take MY moniker for instance… lol

  • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

    The fact that the care free curl is back makes me itch, too.
    Yes…it is.
    Salons – high end ones, too – are advertising them as a way to get a natural, ‘care free’ look without all the maintenance.
    The world is coming to an end.

    • Deviant

      @V.E.G.,

      how is care free curl low maintenance? I remember my sister and my mom used that pee juice when I was little. it smelled up everything. the stench gave me nightmares. They couldnt lay their head on anything without leaving a trail. They had to keep reapplying that crap so their heads wouldn’t look like old brillo pads.

      god I’m having flashbacks…help me

      • miss t-lee

        @Deviant,
        I think if most of us catch a whiff of that activator smell, your memory instantly takes you back to ’85. When your Mom, Grandma, and at least 2 of your Ainnie’s (aunties) was rocking ‘em.
        Let’s not forget that shower cap noise…lol

        • Deviant

          @miss t-lee,

          o god the greasy shower cap

          I rememebr I used to use the activator as a torture pit for my He Man figures. I would fill up the slime pit with it when I ran out of that fake smile stuff that came with it. I stopped doin it cause it made Skeletor stink and I coulnd’t get the smell off.

          I went too far back for some of you. Yall don’t rememebr Skeletor or the Slime Pit.

          • miss t-lee

            @Deviant,
            Hahahahha!! I remember Skeletor. My brother had the Castle of Greyskull.
            Love the torture pit idea…wow, you took it back.

          • Deviant

            @miss t-lee ,

            I had Snake Mountain and Land Shark too. I had to do alot of chores to get that stuff.

          • SouthernGirl

            @Deviant,

            pssh…i had the she-ra castle.

          • Sula

            @Deviant,

            I rememebr I used to use the activator as a torture pit for my He Man figures.

            Oh my God, I am dead… Somebody please rescue me! Bwahahahahaha!

  • cam1ll3

    things that make me itchy and scratchy:

    digital gangstas aka folks that insist on tryna be hard and fight on social networks (ie: fb). i itch and get a migrane from attempting to understand the purpose. you’re not hard, you’re dumb…you’re lame. you make me want to go potty. boooooooooo.

    bamas on the beltway that refuse to let me pass them. but i’m going faster than yooouuuuuuuu! you know this! i don’t need you tryna regulate my speed, sucka, i got this!! and then don’t try to box me in…i’mma git out. i’m riding on a 430 horse hemi over here. I’M FASTER THAN YOU. LET. ME. PASS. ****ER. they make me itch and then i envision their vehicle engulfed in flames, whilst i spray lighter fluid genero–oh, sorry. i get mad is all. and you won’t like me mad.

    i’m certain i’mma hurt some person’s feelings (or not) but folks who have little periodontal pockets at the base of their teeth and their breath smells worse then 10000 buttholes and/or folks that don’t bathe and smell. enter itching and nausea. not fair. please handle that (and this is not in reference to those who suffer from a medical condition in which these are side effects. i’m talkin’ about folk that just think it’s cute to smell like onions and rusty llama balls.

    i have to go get calamine now. and some ginger ale. carry on.

    • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

      @cam1ll3,

      “mell like onions and rusty llama balls.”

      *dead*

    • ofloveandotherdemons

      @cam1ll3,
      bamas on the beltway that refuse to let me pass them. but i’m going faster than yooouuuuuuuu! you know this! i don’t need you tryna regulate my speed, sucka, i got this!! and then don’t try to box me in…i’mma git out. i’m riding on a 430 horse hemi over here. I’M FASTER THAN YOU. LET. ME. PASS. ****ER. they make me itch and then i envision their vehicle engulfed in flames, whilst i spray lighter fluid genero–oh, sorry. i get mad is all. and you won’t like me mad.

      Lol.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @cam1ll3, see, that’s why i don’t EVER take the beltway. i live in DC specifically so i never have a reason to get on that damn godforsaken slowpoke roll.

      plus, i’m from the A where 285 is not just the name of the highway, its the suggested speed limit.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @cam1ll3,

      digital gangstas aka folks that insist on tryna be hard and fight on social networks (ie: fb). i itch and get a migrane from attempting to understand the purpose. you’re not hard, you’re dumb…you’re lame. you make me want to go potty. boooooooooo.

      you wont say that to my face

    • The One & True GEM… of the Ocean

      @cam1ll3,

      lol @ digital ganstas.

      my boy swears im a cell phone gangsta. he says im always talkn ish on the phone but wont back it up in person. i do talk a lot of noise but no one can prove my virtual gangsta-ness. no one is really willing to test me.

  • cam1ll3

    and champ…why we talkin ’bout stu? i love stu! he’s cool.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @cam1ll3,

      word? yo, he’s my man too. word up. holla

      • http://twitter.com/Stank_0 Stank-0

        @The Champ,

        What’s so bad is I heard that entire sentence in Stu Scott’s voice.

        • cam1ll3

          @Stank-0,

          lol. damn champ for that.

  • MzKang

    Poppin a benadryl and going in…

    1) People that don’t know how to merge into traffic. Speed up already. There is no need to stop when trying to get onto the interstate. Seattle, WA I’m talking to you.

    2) People who don’t do what they say. Things happen, I get that but don’t tell me something you think I want to hear and not follow through. Exit left.

    3) Females that wear winter parkas, boots wit da ffuurrrrr, and booty shorts. Uhm what? Put some dang pants on if you are that cold.

    4) Not being able to buy the clothes I want because people choose to buy clothes three sizes too small for them. Look, I got the small Asian build of my mom, I’m trying to buy my size please do the same.

    5) When my silverware touches the table at a restaurant. Yes, random. Yes, maybe I…eerrr I do have issues, but we all have our quirks…or two or three.

    6) Bicyclists pedaling all hard and going nowhere in my lane. Move…get out my way. My car is bigger, faster, and will annihilate you. Again Seattle, that’s for you.

    Alright, I gotta cure this itch. Onto thinking of happy thoughts…

    • SaneN85

      @MzKang, I really want to defend my city here, but I got nothing.

      • MzKang

        @SaneN85,

        You can’t defend what’s true! I speak from daily experience. You’re from Seattle too?

        • Sanen85

          @MzKang, Yep, born and raised. It’s nice to see I’m not the only one from here on this site.

    • Me fail english?

      @MzKang,

      “1) People that don’t know how to merge into traffic. Speed up already. There is no need to stop when trying to get onto the interstate. Seattle, WA I’m talking to you.”

      You may be talking to Seattle, but NYC heard you loud and clear. Without fail, everytime I’m behind someone on the ramp, they decide to not only pull all the way up into the merge lane, but they wanna come in at 40mph…in a 55 zone…where most cars are doing 70. FYL

    • Ms. Hall

      @MzKang,

      “Females that wear winter parkas, boots wit da ffuurrrrr, and booty shorts. Uhm what? Put some dang pants on if you are that cold.”

      damn…dAMN….DAMN! I want to throw pig’s blood on people doing this. They’re almost as horrible as folks wearing shades at night.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @MzKang,

      6) Bicyclists pedaling all hard and going nowhere in my lane. Move…get out my way. My car is bigger, faster, and will annihilate you. Again Seattle, that’s for you.

      this is pittsburgh for you too