hakuna matata: two surefire ways to ensure your happiness

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last week, p’s buddy maverick gave us a bit of insight on a few tricks men use to combat women’s eternal battle against our happiness.

yet, although women continue to conduct the anti-happiness train, both genders are represented equally onboard. not so surprisingly, Educated Blacks are taking up a disproportionate amount of aisle space, annoying the rest of the passengers with our toxic pretentiousness and patchouli scented sigma brands

today, as resident vsb happiness guru, i’ve decided to share a couple ways we all can be a part of the march to contentment, merriment, and joy. without further ado and sh*t, here are two surefire ways to ensure your happiness.

1. be nice.

no, seriously. you’re not hearing me.

be. nice.

as i’ve mentioned before, i relish the opportunity to take public transportation. because my job requires me to drive around the county several times a month, i look forward to the mornings when i can roll out of bed, spray some escada sentiment, bite a waffle, drink a vitamin water™, and subtly flirt with the legions of unmarried cat ladies taking the eba to work.

because i usually catch the bus at the same time, i’ll usually see the same couple of drivers, and we’ll usually share pleasantries about the weather, the steelers, or our shared frustration with asian college students and their puzzling lack of peripheral vision.¹

anyway, while rushing out the door a few mornings ago, i forgot to grab a couple loose bills for the bus. i didnt realize this until boarding, though, but the man behind the wheel said it was aiight.

“naw, dog. don’t worry about it. we cool”

now, there are myriad possible reasons for his benevolence. maybe he was just having a good morning, due to some good gotdamn. maybe he was high. maybe he was so transfixed by the paula patton doppleganger boarding ahead of me that he was too distracted to even care. who knows?

all i do know is that i can’t rule out the possibility that the superficial morning relationship i have with him made him more likely to excuse my forgetfulness.

point being: being genuinely nice without an ulterior motive makes life easier for you, and an easier life has a funny way of cultivating happiness.

2. let it go

this goes for all inane grudges, conspiracy theories, grievances, resentments, animosities, animuses, hatreds, loathings, farts, replusions, and any other irrelevant stressors you can name. nobody cares about you and your bullsh*t. i repeat, nobody cares about you and your bullsh*t. nobody. not a soul. thespace between “the” and “space” represents the amount of people who care about your bullsh*t.

if “not caring about your bullsh*t” were “strangely trying your hardest to convince the entire world that you’re homosexual, even though you’re not“, the “rest of the world” would be kanye f*cking west.

if you don’t believe me, ask 20 random people tomorrow if they care about you and your bullsh*t, and let me know if you receive any answers that aren’t variants of “what? who? hell no. just shut up and make my fries”.

because nobody cares about you and your bullsh*t, what sense does it make to allow you and your bullsh*t to ruin your infinitesimal time on earth? 100 years from now, when you’re the dust underneath the president solange statue outside the white house, what difference will it have made that your boss steals your sharpened pencils from your desk before staff meetings?²

i know i’m not the only happy motherf***er here. happy people of vsb, help the rest of us get off the train: what else would you suggest?

¹can someone tell me why they never look before crossing the street? does this even occur in other cities, or is the burgh just the place were asian students with death wishes matriculate?
²this used to happen to me, and, to be honest, i still haven’t gotten over it.

—the champ

209 thoughts on “hakuna matata: two surefire ways to ensure your happiness”

  1. “and subtly flirt with the lesions of unmarried cat ladies taking the eba to work.”

    um…i think you might wanna change that to “legions” cuz as it stands, it looks like youre tryin to catch yourself a disease on the public transport. thats not cool.

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  2. i guess this is kind of related to your second point, but don’t take yourself seriously. i can’t stand people who get all angsty and emo over every aspect of their lives, as if any and everything that happens to them is equivalent to the apocalypse or an invasion of midgets. sometimes you need to know when to laugh something off and embrace all the times you act stupid or get into a situation which embarrasses you. plus if you laugh, the whole world laughs with you. or at you. either which ways, people are laughing and that’s a good thing.

    also, have s3x. just do it. people who’ve had a romp in the sack just glow and whatnot with happiness. if someone you know is going through a rough time and needs a pick-me-up, smash em like an idaho potato. if everyone got some, i swear we could cure depression permanently.

    Reply ↓

  3. cliches are cliches because they are normallly true or at least true-ish… so the cliche i will throw out is:

    “take time to smell the roses”

    i know outkast said they really smell like boo boo, but i don’t necessarily view them is the most reliable source (crazy mf’s, but sick azz Hades on the mic) any-hoo , when you take time time to appreciate little things and really take in the beauty that lies in your life it doesn’t seem so bad, and actually may seem pretty frigging great…. oh yeah and lots of good s..ex doesn’t hurt either… uh huh…..

    Reply ↓

      • @The Champ,

        Word!! Waking up to the aroma of bacon wafting from the kitchen might be on my top 10 list of things that make me happy! Delicious!

        Reply ↓

        • @Pretty Please,

          “Word!! Waking up to the aroma of bacon wafting from the kitchen might be on my top 10 list of things that make me happy! Delicious!”

          top ten things that make me happy probably should have been the topic today, lol. oh well.

          Reply ↓

  4. “if “not caring about your bullsh*t” were “strangely trying your hardest to convince the entire world that you’re homosexual, even though you’re not“, the “rest of the world” would be kanye f*cking west.”

    With a small enough font size, this would be a great t-shirt.

    Reply ↓

  5. i look forward to the mornings when i can roll out of bed, spray some escada sentiment, bite a waffle, drink a vitamin water™

    @ champ – still at it, eh? good luck. no one can accuse you of not being persistent….next time i come to the U.S. i’m tasting some of this stuff, i’m intrigued…

    or is it just sparkling water by another name??? hmmmmmm….

    Reply ↓

    • @superwoman,
      It tastes like bile. I don’t get it’s popularity. Then again, gatorade, which is clearly Beelzebub sweat and piss, is revered by all; so, I’m clearly in the minority here.
      I’m rooting for Champ, Panama and Liz to get that endorsement. There should be at least five people that beat this recession garbaaaje.

      Reply ↓

      • @ofloveandotherdemons,

        It tastes like bile. I don’t get it’s popularity. Then again, gatorade, which is clearly Beelzebub sweat and piss, is revered by all; so, I’m clearly in the minority here.

        are you trying to get yourself banned again?

        Reply ↓

  6. I couldn’t agree with this post more. I went through my unhappy stage, but then I just let go of the negativity and I’m a lot happier now.

    Another thing to being happy is to let the past go. Let go of the hurt, the people who wronged you in the past, and move on with your life. It’ll make you a lot happier.

    Reply ↓

  8. 1.) Guns and Roses ; once every week should suffice, and to set you off on the right foot:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-AYAv0IoWI

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhCM88LhoW0&feature=related

    Dangnabbit the 1980s druged out Axl just makes me happy. Oooh, and Slash with his big old mane of hair, that boy has some skills on that guitar.

    2.) Be the truest, most unadulterated, purest version of you that makes you happy. Eff convention, eff society; don’t compromise yourself for the sake of social acceptance. You are the only person that actually has to live with you for the rest of your natural life.

    3.) Conversely, get over yourself. The world is a large, large domain; try and live a life that impacts someone other than yourself.

    Reply ↓

      • @The Champ,
        Hahahaa, hater. You are in envy of my awesome, that is all. Who doesn’t like G n R. Seriously; you are an autobot aren’t you. Soulless nymph, sigh.

        Reply ↓

        • @ofloveandotherdemons,

          Seriously; you are an autobot aren’t you. Soulless nymph, sigh.

          first of all, you throwin’ too many big words at me, and because i don’t understand ‘em i’m gonna take ‘em as disrespect. watch ya mouth

          Reply ↓

    • @ofloveandotherdemons,

      Great list. I’ll just replace Guns n Roses by The Police (or The Bee Gees, or any 70′s post-love shack band)…

      You #2 is primordial. A life lived to please you primarily is a happy life…
      Your #3 is even better.

      Reply ↓

  9. take time to try something new…this could range from something simple like joining a pick up game to enrolling in some type of class or activity you’ve always thought about doing but never did. i think sometimes our inner doubts lead to no follow thru and no breakout of the ordinary routines and we get bored with our lives which = not happy.

    also learning to be alone. you gotta be able to get along with yourself and be content, life isn’t able other pple making you happy or entertaining you, yeah its part of life but others shouldn’t define you.

    just my thoughts.

    Reply ↓

    • @maria,

      i think sometimes our inner doubts lead to no follow thru and no breakout of the ordinary routines and we get bored with our lives which = not happy.

      this is true, but i do think that “trying something new” thing only applies if youre bored or into that sort of thing. some people are happy with the same sh*t, lol. whatever works for you

      Reply ↓

  10. Sigh, moderation. Seriously, there was no foul language in it. I proof read and errthing. Sigh, peeps.
    Tear, tear, tear.

    Oooh well, in the meantime till I gather enough penance vouchers out of intraweb purgatory. Here is another step in the path to happiness: appreciation of this song

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irp8CNj9qBI

    Queen-Bohemian Rhapsody.

    Reply ↓

  11. @ Champ

    Educated blacks…patchouli. LOL. I wore patchouli once and my aunt flat out told me I stank and to never wear it again. Her face was so screwed up I thought she was going to put me out of her car. LOL

    Reply ↓

  12. Great list champ! I have also found that minding your own dayum bizz-ness goes a long way towards contributing to happiness…stop worrying about other peeps and what they have and what they are doing and you will save yourself a lot of stress

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    • @shay-d-lady,
      “stop worrying about other peeps and what they have and what they are doing and you will save yourself a lot of stress”

      Precisely, my dear Watson! And I’m adding don’t worry what people think of you – just DO YOU!

      Reply ↓

    • @shay-d-lady,

      I disagree with this. Why? B/c Facebook drama and knowing who’s freaking who’s man brings me A LOT of laughs. I’m sorry. Is this bad?

      Newsfeed be like “Girl-in-love-with-boo-and-has-5-albums-caking-to prove-it is no longer ENGAGED*. Me: “Well SHUT MY MOUTH WIDE OPEN!! I thought his name was tattooed on her neck!! What she gon do now??” lol Then the next day, her relationship status has changed to “its complicated”. Me: “Ohh they must be working it out”. Then after like 5 more changes to the relationship status, it becomes SINGLE, accompanied by a bitter status message.

      Reply ↓

      • @Luvvie,

        who are these people posting their personal Soap Operas all over FB. I need to friend them so I can have gigglefits at their nonsense too…

        Although I have to admit FB is how I found out my homeslice from college is now engaged. I reamed her for that one. Just FOOLYWANG!

        **sigh** time to buy ANOTHER over-priced wear only once dress…

        Reply ↓

  13. Find a job you like!

    Considering the fact that you spend so many of your waking hours @ work, it’s extremely important to love what you do and who you work with. Imagine how much more interesting your dinner conversation would be if you didn’t have to b!tch about work for the first 15 minutes of every meal! Clearly, every situation isn’t ideal (you have bills to pay), but that doesn’t mean you should stop looking. Put yourself out there, network, go to conventions, have a business card on you @ all times – you never know who you might run into…and the hunt for the ideal career may be almost as exciting as having it.

    They say if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life…

    Reply ↓

    • @Resident GRitS,

      Find a job you like!

      Considering the fact that you spend so many of your waking hours @ work, it’s extremely important to love what you do and who you work with. Imagine how much more interesting your dinner conversation would be if you didn’t have to b!tch about work for the first 15 minutes of every meal! Clearly, every situation isn’t ideal (you have bills to pay), but that doesn’t mean you should stop looking. Put yourself out there, network, go to conventions, have a business card on you @ all times – you never know who you might run into…and the hunt for the ideal career may be almost as exciting as having it

      great point.

      btw, the battle between income and enjoyment is a potential future vsb entry

      Reply ↓

    • @Resident GRitS, “Imagine how much more interesting your dinner conversation would be if you didn’t have to b!tch about work for the first 15 minutes of every meal”

      I couldn’t agree more. Too many people complain about their jobs non-stop. I don’t talk about my job outside of work. I like my job, but I would rather talk about something more interesting.

      Reply ↓

  14. Good list! Good post! I’m sad cuz VSB has been put on permanent vacation by the internet police at my job… guess that’s what I get for all those laughs at work… not to mention the fact that my boss is creepy and has tantrums like a two year old when he’s not getting the attention he thinks he’s entitled to… sigh… I should upgrade to a sidekick or blackberry (that would show him, MWAHAHAHA!!!) but anywho… more happiness 101 from a happy person:
    -Be thankful for what you have! and don’t be all angsty (not a word I know… but I don’t feel like finding or thinking about it’s equivalent right now :) ) about what you don’t have. T.I. said it best in that song he has w/ Rhianna: “Unhappy with the riches cuz you piss po’ morally.” No one is promised a crystal stair in this life. Most of us are blessed with considerable wealth compared to A LOT of others on this earth. What need do we have to be the rat bastards that many of us tend to be?
    - I double and triple co-sign don’t take yourself too seriously… cuz it’s not that serious. I agree w/ the Champ. At the end of the day who really cares? We don’t spend any time on the problems we face that really are serious… but that’s for another time.
    - Wear bright colors all the time, all year round. Red, Yellow, Fuchsia. Who can be mad when they are a walking carnival? (lmao this was a joke… but if you’re depressed it might work).
    -play with a little kid. Sure fire way to achieve a modicrum of joy in your day… unless ur evil and like kicking puppies and sh*t (or kitties… DEVIANT!) okokok… i’m done.

    Reply ↓

    • @pgh muse,

      -play with a little kid. Sure fire way to achieve a modicrum of joy in your day… unless ur evil and like kicking puppies and sh*t (or kitties… DEVIANT!) okokok… i’m done.

      My sister works part-time at her campus daycare. I mean the stories she tells me about those little kids are just too funny and precious. Yesterday she had a toddler tell her that “her poop was hanging like a monkey” :lol:
      I mean how can you be mad after that?

      Reply ↓

  16. *** Disclaimer: I didn’t read comments before posting ****

    First of all, great post…. it made me smile this morning!

    1. Compliment someone: It makes someone else feel good and in turn, you will to.
    2. Do something different: Change your hair, wear a color out the ordinary…. you’ll feel refreshed.
    3. Pay it forward at Starbucks, a fast food restaurant, whatever.

    Right now, the Dreams “Rockin’ That Thing,” makes me smile.

    Reply ↓

    • @Nicki Sunshine,

      I am all about the pay it forward. I tend to do it at the grocery store alot. It is amazing how someone smiles when you catch them completely off guard and dont ask for anything in return.

      Reply ↓

      • @Suga&Spice, “I am all about the pay it forward. I tend to do it at the grocery store alot. ”

        Hand claps for you… that is very sweet!!!!! U are right. I for one, am totally shocked when a man (esp.) does something without expecting something.

        Reply ↓

    • @Nicki Sunshine, “Compliment someone: It makes someone else feel good and in turn, you will to.”

      This goes a long way! I was having the worst day yesterday and got 2 compliments and it changed my day around.

      Reply ↓

    • @Nicki Sunshine,

      I love to pay it forward!!
      My favorite way (until the DEBBILS at the Parking Authority got even more fiendish) was to wave people into my parking spot when I had time left on my meter. Someone else should benefit from my unused time.

      Then PPA went and switched out the meters to make that impossible…. they are evil

      Reply ↓

  17. Every once in a while, do EXACTLY what you want. Without second guesses. Without worry. If by chance it turns out to be the dumbest idea you’ve ever had, so what!
    Enjoy the moment and you’ll never have any regrets.

    K.I.S.S. This one has been especially true for me since I tend to over analyze everything. I find that keepin it simple means keepin it stressed-less too.

    Volunteer. It’s the ultimate ego booster

    Simply don’t do things that make you unhappy.

    Reply ↓

    • @Imperfect, Every once in a while, do EXACTLY what you want. Without second guesses. Without worry. If by chance it turns out to be the dumbest idea you’ve ever had, so what!

      I LOVE this! Love this love this love this LOVE IT!!

      Reply ↓

    • @Imperfect,

      Volunteer. It’s the ultimate ego booster

      although i do suggest that people volunteer, i wouldnt go as far to say that it’ll be an ego booster. if anything, depending on what you’re doing, sometimes you hafta work on not being depressed afterwards, lol

      Reply ↓

      • @The Champ,
        when I volunteered in college an ego boost was something that never happened. I would feel good for helping out but I always ended up feeling bad for the people I helped, fed, or gave to. How does ones ego get boosted from volunteering? Maybe I was volunteering for the wrong programs.

        Reply ↓

        • @Deviant,

          Maybe not for everyone. I like to think that volunteering gives the chance to provide people with a much needed service they may not otherwise have. When I feel useful, I feel better about myself. So for me, volunteering is an ego booster.

          Reply ↓

          • @Imperfect,

            I like to think that volunteering gives the chance to provide people with a much needed service they may not otherwise have. When I feel useful, I feel better about myself.

            makes sense and sh*t

            Reply ↓

  18. i AM THE HAPPIEST PERSON i KNOW…

    I do exactlywhat the post says…I am (almost) ALWAYS SMILING and I am THANKFUL in spirit…(take right now for instance) even when my “happy” is fractured by something that I have no control over, I try to see the silver lining and find even the most marginal bright side…even GOODY gets down on occasion, but I soon realize “it could be worse”… I process it and try to learn and grow from it! cuz honestly… NOBODY ELSE CARES ABOUT YOUR BULLSHIT…

    *skipping back to the corner*

    Reply ↓

  19. Champ why more people can’t grasp this I don’t know. I look at and listen to people who are just arsewipes. They rise in the morning with the goal of being a bigger arsewipe than they were the day before. While they think they are being cute it is obvious to everyone else except them that they are unhappy. And bitter. They exude misery. If you slit their wrist they would bleed gloom. You think just be nice for a change. Try shopping the softer side of Sears.

    I remember my days of despair. My objective in life was to be a bytch. Now I look back and think was it because unfortunate circumstances in life made me unhappy leading me to act out in such a way of unkindness or did my acting like Prettipaws the poodle make me live under a cloud of gloom. (Sigh) It’s so wonderful to have grown up.

    My suggestions for happiness,

    1. Make lemonade. I am not talking about the old adage “when life serves you lemons…”, although the saying is true it’s not what I am speaking. Make lemonade.

    2. Take the time to smell the roses. Literally. Occasionally go to the park. Watch the kiddies and puppies play. Plant a small rose or herb garden. Play in the dirt again.

    3. Say “Good morning” to the first person you see every morning. It helps.

    4. Pay it forward like in the Liberal Mutual commercial. Which is form of being nice.

    Reply ↓

    • @Raqi,
      They rise in the morning with the goal of being a bigger arsewipe than they were the day before

      This, for whatever reason, had me laughing for five min. straight. I think the terms ‘arsehats’ and ‘arsewipe’ are in my top 10 favorite words to throw around, randomly.

      Reply ↓

  20. I love this post Champ!! Especially since I have had my moments of unhappiness. If I had to add one thing, I would add forgiveness. Don’t waste your time holding grudges against people who may no longer be in your life, and probably don’t matter enough to take up any of your mental space. So, forgive them, release them, and move on. Stop blocking your blessings, stop holding on to that past hurt, and you will eventuallybe much happier because of it.

    Reply ↓

  21. First, speaking to The Champ’s first point, it’s amazing how some people find being nice so hard. Not only does it gives you a general air of happiness, you can get major free shyt for it.

    Anyway, I’d add being charitable to the list. Whether it’s monetary or just giving your time to someone who may be in need, it tends to add to a happy disposition.

    Also, happy songs are like drugs for me. Music is very mood-altering so no matter how unpleasant the weather may be sometimes, starting my day off by listening to something like Bill Withers’ “Lovely Day”, it’s hard to NOT be happy. Chuck Mangione’s “Feels So Good” is another one of those joints I take a hit of that takes me there.

    Reply ↓

    • @Monk,

      First, speaking to The Champ’s first point, it’s amazing how some people find being nice so hard. Not only does it gives you a general air of happiness, you can get major free shyt for it.

      why dont more people realize this??? isn’t life all about getting the most free sh*t possible??? why would someone sabotage their own efforts??? why do i keep using so many question marks????

      Reply ↓

  22. Me On my own All by myself Autonomously I have been blessed w/ the humor of a dirty little kid grader. & I’m easily distracted. This makes me find something to easily entertain me no matter what’s going on. I mean even during serious conversations I draw innuendos (Thank you Jesus for pronouns)to my favorite things. If that doesn’t work join a secret society that anonymously water gun sniper fights one another faux real life n shyt. Sometimes my mind drifts to my fav. things food n sehx. Tonight @ my fave spot to hang n get wasted they got an open bar and pudding wrestling…

    Volunteer. Try to understand and help someone else’s story. Their life story that is. You ain’t got to kill yoself to make someone’s life diff. (crazy 7 lbs). You could just feed, em clean, em, or shelter em, what ever their story requires short of hurting yourself. Taking time to enjoy what homosapiens of different cultures and ethnicities enjoy as fun. Has always fascinated me. I mean everyone is 99% the same so it can’t bee too far from what I do for fun. But on the occasion sometimes it just might be diff enough to be completely totally all encompassing NEW. & I add it to my collection of fun shyt to do. Like one of these day’s I’m going to New Zealand for some of the worlds best produce and a day of Zorbing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ljbOmNX7x0

    Take time to love and be loved-secret of life.

    Reply ↓

  23. A couple more:

    Treat yourself. Whatever it is you like be it a new pair of shoes, a new electronic gadget, traveling, some mary jane…whatever floats your boat, treat yourself every once in a while.

    Look Fly. When you step out of the crib knowing that you’re “fresh, dressed like a million bucks”, it puts a little pep in your step and makes you feel a bit happier.

    Reply ↓

    • @Monk, looking good always makes me feel better about myself. AND when I get down, I treat myself and don’t beat myself up about it cause whatever I did or bought made me happier. Those two work for me every time.

      Reply ↓

  24. another one….

    Avoid negativity…negative people/friends, negative news, negative music. Basically, try your hardest to avoid those things and people who bring you down and are a drag on your happyspace. I’ve gotten to the point now, that I rarely watch the news, b/c there aren’t many positive things going on in the world right now, or at least networks do not consider those things news. And, I also try to avoid crime documentaries, which has been tough this Black History. Last Sunday, I watched Rosewood, Murder in Black & White, and the end of Malcolm X, which made for really good tv, but made me angry for most of the night. Not that those stories are negative, but they can be a mood killer.

    So the lesson is, do not consume or surround yourself with negative people or negative news.

    Reply ↓

    • @N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,

      Avoid negativity…negative people/friends, negative news, negative music. Basically, try your hardest to avoid those things and people who bring you down and are a drag on your happyspace. I’ve gotten to the point now, that I rarely watch the news, b/c there aren’t many positive things going on in the world right now, or at least networks do not consider those things news. And, I also try to avoid crime documentaries, which has been tough this Black History. Last Sunday, I watched Rosewood, Murder in Black & White, and the end of Malcolm X, which made for really good tv, but made me angry for most of the night. Not that those stories are negative, but they can be a mood killer.

      so basically, be the giraffe and sh8t

      Reply ↓

  25. Big Daddy Mod got me, so here it is again without the middle portion….

    Avoid negativity…negative people/friends, negative news, negative music. Basically, try your hardest to avoid those things and people who bring you down and are a drag on your happyspace. Also, don’t engage in a lot of gossip, or negative talk about other people.

    So the lesson is, do not consume or surround yourself with negative people or negative news.

    Reply ↓

  26. This is similar to what others have said but my secret has been to be content with less.

    - Instead of breaking my back working an unhappy, stressful job, I work a nice quiet gov’ment job that is incredibly interesting but with no stress. It may not pay as much as being out in the private sector but I sure go home a lot happier every day.

    - Instead of having that big house and sweet car, try downsizing. It’s less money, less stress, certainly less time required for upkeep. Getting out of the rat race and quit trying to always measure up helps you focus on you.

    - Lastly, I’ve found spending my time and money on experiences rather than things has made me a happier person. Having friends and family brunches once a month instead of clubbing every dang weekend, taking my son on vacations to new places instead of buying him any more gadgets for birthdays and holidays, etc.

    If all else fails, get a pet. Something about unconditional love (even if its not from a human) helps keep you happy and sane.

    Reply ↓

    • @luvtheshoes,

      - Instead of having that big house and sweet car, try downsizing. It’s less money, less stress, certainly less time required for upkeep. Getting out of the rat race and quit trying to always measure up helps you focus on you.

      - Lastly, I’ve found spending my time and money on experiences rather than things has made me a happier person. Having friends and family brunches once a month instead of clubbing every dang weekend, taking my son on vacations to new places instead of buying him any more gadgets for birthdays and holidays, etc.

      good additions and sh*t

      Reply ↓

    • @luvtheshoes,

      “If all else fails, get a pet. Something about unconditional love (even if its not from a human) helps keep you happy and sane.”

      So true. I’ve been dog sitting and now I’m attached. When it’s time for me to give the dog back I’ll have to get one of my own. It’s amazing how the dog is thrilled when I come home from work, follows me all over my apt., taps me on my leg (yes he actually taps me) when he wants to get on the couch with me, and curls up in my slippers or lays on my rug when he sleeps because those things have my scent.

      Reply ↓

      • @Voiceofreason,

        Uh oh…you’re done for now. Dog sitting just softened you up for the real deal! No lie, though, you’ll be totally grateful if you do end up with a dog. They can be total brats and certainly eat up some spare change with the vet bills and all but I swear my dog helped save my spirit.

        Was going through a bad break-up and a lot of other personal changes at the same time. Coming home to that face who was so happy to see me reminded me that no matter what, I was still loved. Plus you can’t just sit around and mope…the dog will start looking at you like “Dammit, I want to go out for a walk so get off your sad a#s and get outside with me.”

        Reply ↓

    • @luvtheshoes,

      I so luv your list. I keep telling people that I’ll drive my car to the ground even it has to be taped together.

      Growing up with a “frugal” dad (his word for “cheap” :D ) has a way of appreciating little things and being able to make do with less material “stuff”.

      And I am the queen of experiences! I rather commit fun memories to my brain than learning how to operate yet another gadget. I just think a trip will always be a better gift/treat than the latest “it” bag.

      Awesome additions.

      Reply ↓

    • @luvtheshoes,
      ‘Getting out of the rat race and quit trying to always measure up helps you focus on you.’

      So very true. Keeping up with the Joneses may be the number one stress related killer for people. Plus, their version of happiness might be wholly different from yours, which you’ll never realize because you are too busy trying to live their life instead of self analyzing to discover what would be your ideal life.

      ‘my time and money on experiences rather than things ‘

      I use this as my litmus test for my ‘fun’ expenditure. $289 on a pair of shoes/handbag/jewelry or $289 on Coachella tickets? I’ll take the tickets please; three days of crazy good music will definitely have more of a positive impact on my life than shoes, clothes or accessories.

      Reply ↓

  27. “¹can someone could tell me why they never look before crossing the street? does this even occur in other cities, or is the burgh just the place were asian students with death wishes matriculate?”

    Nope, it’s not just Pittsburgh. It happens in NY too.

    On to what makes me happy.

    1. I laugh loud and often. Oddly, my guffawing makes other people laugh instead of annoying them.

    2.I have a great group of friends. They’re more than friends, they’re my family.

    3.I dance around my apartment with the dog I’m sitting. I think dancing produces endorphins, and the dog perfectly standing on his hind legs in an attempt to impress me is a bonus.

    4.I decorate my apt with bright colors and keep it clean. Pittsburgh is often dreary but my apt is always sunny.

    5.I’m an excellent motivator. Although it can be a bit frustrating being the person EVERYONE calls when they need to vent or feel better, I feel good knowing my words some how lift spirits.

    6.I listen to music. If music can’t make a person happy, nothing can.

    Reply ↓

    • @Voiceofreason,

      3.I dance around my apartment with the dog I’m sitting. I think dancing produces endorphins, and the dog perfectly standing on his hind legs in an attempt to impress me is a bonus

      ***btw, this statement is also number 19 in the “signs you’re slowly becoming a cat lady” guidebook***

      Reply ↓

      • @The Champ,

        LOL! The banginest cat lady ever! Doubt that will happen, but if I do end up a cat lady will you be nice to me on the bus??? :)

        Reply ↓

    • @Voiceofreason, I decorate my apt with bright colors and keep it clean. Pittsburgh is often dreary but my apt is always sunny.

      This is so true. Raleigh is pretty clean, but coming home to a nice clean apartment always makes me feel good. And fresh flowers in that clean apartment is an added bonus….

      Reply ↓

    • @Voiceofreason

      I agree dancing is THE BEST. I usually come home from work, strip down to the undies, turn on the music, get a glass of wine and dance.

      Reply ↓

  28. “what else would you suggest?”

    work out! whether it’s a good belly-bursting laugh, the gym, or dancing to good music, that adrenaline keeps you in good spirits…despite what’s going on around you

    Reply ↓

  29. I think people should eat breakfast every morning. That will def give you the energy for the day and will def make you feel better. Ppl are often so grumpy b/c they dont eat breakfast until they get to work thus making the train ride mean and surly.

    On a side note, Robin Thicke is a very lucky man

    Reply ↓

    • @osyeP,

      Lol@ Robin Thicke being lucky. I was watching the video for “Shooter” last night and I was thinking the exact same thing.: Dang, this dude has one of the bangigest wife in the industry right now… And if that sounds gay, well sue me. :D

      Reply ↓

  30. Great list Champ! I co-sign wholeheartedly.

    Cheekie’s list o’ happiness:

    1. Laugh and make others laugh. Read a joke. Converse with your hilarious coworker. Tell a funny story. Laughter is lovely. But shared laughter is blist (tm New York of Flavor of Love).

    2. Just dance. No, I’m not talking about Lady Gaga and her pretentious hipster glasses, I’m saying it literally. Dancing is fun and it’s also a workout at the same time. So, killing two birds with one stone. A city ninja that’s always rushing to everything can appreciate the time saved.

    3. Watch The Colbert Report. That mofo is bananas.

    4. Give out hugs. Hugs are natures warmth. I love hugs because it’s giving and receiving at the same time.

    5. Smile. You can seriously force yourself to be happy if you just sit their smiling. And if you do this in public transportation (especially a train with a double seat), people will think you’re crazy and might not want to sit next to you. Yay! You don’t have to share a seat!

    6. Stare at Barack Obama’s Presidential Portrait. That ish in an of itself should make your day.

    7. Relax. Do something for you.

    8. Hold a baby. Because they smell good and cause instintive smiles. It’s even better if you get to return that little bundle of joy to their parents.

    9. Say “Good Morning” to that person who isn’t smiling. Might make their day. And making someone else’s day can make yours.

    10. Have a spiritual connection. Rather that be God, Jeebus, or the Sun…being connected to something larger than yourself is fulffilling.

    Bonus: Read VerySmartBrothas.com. Great way to start any morning. ;)

    Reply ↓

  31. All of the these things that everybody mentioned are great and all, but what if you enjoy being a heartless prick? I know I do . . .I think “heartless prick” is to harsh . . .I enjoy being an @sshole, so I guess that makes me happy. So “do whatcha like” and “live your life” like these song titles

    Reply ↓

  32. ooh say YAAAAAAY like special ed off of crank yankers after everything.

    Say please and thank you when appropriate.

    Offer appropriate compliments.

    Surround yourself w/ symetrical people. I don’t know about you but pretty people w/ vajs make me smile n shyt.

    Reply ↓

  33. I have to admit that I used to walk around angry all the time. I used to leave the house with a frown and an attitude that PEOPLE HAD LOST THEIR DAMN MINDS! If someone cut me off while I was driving, I’d go after them to let them know about it! If I was somewhere and not receiving the customer service that I thought I should be receiving, then I would be quick (and LOUD) to management with my complaint.

    Things changed for me when my former employer sent a group of us to this leadership training/retreat thingy. I didn’t want to go! I thought we’d be sitting around on the floor in circles or doing blind folded trust walks and crap. I wasn’t doing no damn TRUST FALL BACK & CATCH SH*T with a bunch of people that I didn’t know.

    But it wasn’t like that at all. It taught me how to be a leader and not worry about the actions of others around me. It was really life changing. One of the sessions compared people to icebergs. You see this large iceberg sitting out on the water and although they are enormous, what you see isn’t the entire iceberg. The largest part of the iceberg is beneath the surface and you will NEVER see that part. We learned that when dealing with people you have to take that same approach. If someone is hostile or even withdrawn there is a reason that is beneath the surface and YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHY. But you acknowledge that there is a reason why this INDIVIDUAL is the way that they are and that there is something else going on outside of your interaction with that person. It may sound silly but it made me stop dealing with the emotion the person was giving off which often causes us to dehumanize one another. It also allowed to me to stop taking on other people’s stuff. Their attitude won’t change mine.

    Reply ↓

      • @The Champ, Ha!! Wouldnt you have loved to have been a fly on the wall for my sessions LOL. Just joking (sadly I am not!). Lets just say I used to blame other people for a lot of things that I wasnt doing to make myself happy.

        Reply ↓

  34. I am busy as the dickens and have no idea if this has been said already but I think this is a very good one….Change your motives.

    Do what is right because it is right. Period. Point Blank! Backend agendas cause more internal conflict than most people are ever willing to admit. I’ve found believing in what you do and say is the best way to be happy day to day.

    Reply ↓

  35. I love happiness.

    I love when people call and ask me how I’m doing and I can genuinely say… “I’m doing great!”

    But being happy is not a static state of being. It is a process, a journey of self discovery if you will.

    When I was younger, I thought the key to happiness was to have the right STUFF. The right car, home, clothes, hair etc. Now, while I enjoy being surrounded by nice things (I am a Taurus after all), I have joyfully discovered the keys to happiness — forgive me if i repeat what others have said.

    1. Be thankful. We live in one of the richest countries in the world. Be grateful for everything… even the problems. Because trust, someone out there can only DREAM of having what you have. Do you know that if you make $28,000 USD, you are among the top 10% wealthiest people in the World? I looked around my home and realized that a family of 15 would GLADLY live in my space. TAKE NOTHING FOR GRANTED.

    2. Love, love, love. And I’m not talking about romantic love here (although that adds to your happiness, if it is true and pure). Love people. Realize that no matter how douchey someone is being, chances are its a manifestation of hurt, anger and loneliness. So do your best to love them. That means be cordial, smile, and have an open spirit. Sometimes, people are looking for someone to love them– simply by recognizing their humanity.

    3. Laugh. Alot. A whole lot. At the dumbest things. Remember funny stuff, tuck it away and retrieve it when life is getting you down. At the very least, it will make you crack a smile, even in the midst of tears.

    4. Nourish your soul–however you decide to do that. Connect with your spirituality. Pour yourself into you passions. Share time and space with people who lift you up, yet keep it real with you. A well fed soul is a happy soul.

    5. Take care of your physical self. Eat well. Exercise. Maintain your appearance, but DON’T OBSESS. Nothing says self- love like self-care. And people who love themselves (and are not narcisscists) radiate happiness and are able to share love.

    6. Live your life like your breath could be taken fom you tomorrow. None of us are promised that we will wake up the next morning when we lay our heads down at night. Truly makes you think about making the most of every moment you have

    Reply ↓

  37. I have absolutely nothing to add to this post because it’s all been said.

    However, I would be happier if I could go to a parade right now but alas it is not to be. Oh, well. Let me go find some candy…

    Reply ↓

  38. Umm, about the asian college students…

    I used to feel like they’d see a car coming and run as quickly as possible to get in front of it and then looked confused. Used to drive me nuts on my college campus. Actually, it drives me nuts in my current city as well.

    Reply ↓

  40. One suggestion, similar to your number 2: Get Over Yourself!: How to Get Real, Get Serious, and Get Ready to Find True Love by Patti Novak and Laura Zigman

    And I would edit #1. TRY to be nice. Just try to. But accept that there are some folk that are so unhapppy, that they will throw your attempt to be nice right back in your face. Which means, IMHO, that there are some folk that will be di*ks no matter how you try to treat them, and even return bad for good.

    For those folks, I just try to be respectful, don’t lose my temper, continue to do me, and then move on to someone else that will appreciate what I have to offer in all my niceness……….

    Reply ↓

  41. *de-lurking*

    I became a whole lot happier when

    1. I started looking at what I had – not compared to what others had, but what I wanted or needed

    2. I started doing me (in a non-sexual way :-( ). I stopped feeling like a loser for not climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro, sky diving or reading Balzac in the original. Or being Oprah. Or Tyra. The best me is a me I’m cool with. It’s drinking w/ the SO in seedy dives once a month; goat meat, BBC news etc. etc.

    3. The wisdom (hard earned!) to know that you have to go through some serious backbreaking slog to make “happy” work (rel/ships/ work/ investments) but also balance this with the courage to walk away from stuff that looks good on paper but that makes you unhappy.

    4. Relationship-wise, I also became happier when I finally understood that men apologize in different ways than actually using the word ‘sorry’; that him hearing me does not always correspond with him agreeing with me (hard earned lesson!); – and that convergence of opinion is not always going to happen- and that doesn’t mean we’re breaking up…

    Reply ↓

  42. LMAO @ Asian students who refuse to look before crossing the street…..unfortunately though, up here ALL the college students do that. I think that’s a part of their orientation or somesh*t, where they tell the students that no one will run them over if they just blindly walk into the street.

    Reply ↓

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