i’ve had the exact same haircut for thirteen years.
see, egghead
since allen iverson influenced me to upgrade from a close fade to a ceaser some time in the winter of 1995, i’ve stayed loyal (heh) to the cut. sure, i occasionally change the length and thickness of my beard and mustache, but my hair has basically remained the same.
at the base level, professing to having the exact same cut for over a decade seems somewhat odd until you remember that for a professional black male, there really aren’t that many variations. this is a stark contrast to the 80′s, a decade which saw the virtual wild wild west of acceptable adult black male hair. nowadays, our choices have basically been narrowed down to ceaser, short fro, locks, or bald. sure, if my head wasnt shaped exactly like an easter egg i could conceivably grow cornrows or rock mini’s with watermelon jolly ranchers at the tips, but i know that doing such could, no, wait, would stifle my professional and social growth as well as insure many nights of dry penis.
although we’ve commonly and willfully accepted that a change in hairstyle can drastically alter a persons job prospects, we seem to be a bit hesitant to admit how much it affects our dating selves as well. in a perfect world, i wouldn’t be lactose intolerant, jim jones would be dead be managing a bodega in new rochelle, and your hair wouldnt really matter that much to anyone else. bald or perm, braids or process, in a perfect world you’d still get the same type of attention from the opposite sex regardless of what’s happening on your scalp. its the person inside that matters, right? your hair should have sh*t to do with that.
yet, as i hear “come home with me” obnoxiously blasting from some car outside my bedroom window, i’m reminded that jim jones is still alive, cookies and cream shakes give me impressive gas, and hair matters.
hair matters in the sense that a particular hairstyle can give strangers immediate synopsizes of your personality. adjectives such as “afro-centric“, “high-maintenance“, “free spirited”, “hood rat-ish“, and “gotdamn foolish” could be immediately assigned to you, and this same immediate synopsis affects what type of person might be drawn to you. as i jokingly mentioned before, i know that if i had cornrows instead of the simple ceaser, i wouldnt have been able to bag some of the women ive bagged before, their decisions solely based off of my implied maturity level and income potential. regardless of whether or not this is right or wrong, you can’t deny that its true
hair matters because with many black women, merely suggesting to them that changing their hair might possibly result in increased attention from the opposite sex could induce eyerolls, dialated eyeballs, eye-poking, and eventually eye-gouging.
hair matters because, well, none of us would have ever heard of kelis if it didnt, and, well, we all know how much the idea of kelis has influenced the direction of each of our lives
hair matters because, well, i’m not even gonna attempt to discuss the long and nuanced history regarding african-american women and their hair, so i’m just use this clip as my cheat sheet:
so, coarsely maned fine people of vsb.com, how does hair matter to you?
—the champ
It’s an accessory at best, but I am hardcore about accessories. It can take away or add to your image/persona. The choice is yours.
the choice was also Black Sheep’s and you see what they did. Mr. Lawnge had a step and Dres had a part AND a faux processed wavy almot scurl.
they shoulda never gave you ninjas choices.
Kelis influenced me to grow my hair natural. lol!
i love that you said that.
I love that you said Kelis influenced your thinking. she actually influenced me to grow my hair out naturally.
the defining moment in my life that changed my hair was working at of all things, a white hair salon. I just got tired of hearing the “but your hair is so soft” comments. so i had the multi-pierced, uber-tattoo’d, 6 foot lesbian to cut it off super short. it’s been natural ever since.
Coarsly maned?? They shoulda never gave you the strikethrough option.
Regretfully I agree, hair does matter. Everytime I wear my hair straight, I pretty much double the looks I usually get when it’s down and straight. I will say I also feel prettier but this may be the chicken and the egg argument.
But along the same lines, clothes matter, hygiene matters, etc.
Liz,
Hygiene matters, definitely. Lol. But I think in the other cases – hair, clothes – it is confidence, presentation, that matters.
Men (and employers) respond to confidence. Yeah, some guys will always all their preference for whatever (straight hair, big butts, perky boobs) but if you choose to really strut your stuff, straight or natural, then bros can’t help but admire it and take a second glance.
“but if you choose to really strut your stuff, straight or natural, then bros can’t help but admire it and take a second glance.”
I agree. If your swagger is tight, dudes will notice either way.
co-signage…
“I agree. If your swagger is tight, dudes will notice either way”
you know, if substitute “swagger” for ummm, “starts with c and rhymes with **cooch**”, this sentence still works
Umm… have you been dealing with loosed-wall chicks or sumfin?? People’s who’s “sugar walls have disintegrated” (shoutout to Ig Rodney)
“Umm… have you been dealing with loosed-wall chicks or sumfin??”
hmmm. sounds like someone’s projecting a bit.
“hmmm. sounds like someone’s projecting a bit.”
Champ, I heart you. But dont get fought! :-p
“Everytime I wear my hair straight, I pretty much double the looks I usually get when it’s down and straight.”
is this a west coast thing? i’m pulling out the hot comb—i like it straight too, but a little voice inside me says ‘you’re submitting!’. eh, screw it. pass me the hot comb…
“‘but a little voice inside me says ‘you’re submitting!’’”
To what and to whom exactly…did Madam CJ Walker go through all these changes. If there is a hairstyle you’d like to try must you go to some imaginary black hair council in the sky.
must you go to some imaginary black hair council in the sky.
LOL..love it Comeback Girl! I hear the council is a b*tch
“pass me the hot comb…”
this was actually the working title of “the bluest eye” until toni morrison’s agent convinced her otherwise
“pass me the hot comb…”
this was actually the working title of “the bluest eye” until toni morrison’s agent convinced her otherwise
LMFAO!!!!
since I am natural I didnt even feel like the drama…..
I’m also natural
CTFU! I just choked on my chai and waffles
“Everytime I wear my hair straight, I pretty much double the looks I usually get when it’s down and straight.”
Very TRUE! When I wear my hair curly or in a ponytail out and about I get minimal attention. But when my hair is flowing down my back. Heads turn. This has also happened with going to the club. Bouncer looks at me with curly hair or a ponytail then down at my DL ..then back at me and back to my DL.. Eventually I say “ITs ME! My hairs just not done!” (huffs away)
Naw, I think it also happened when I was on the east coast too. i do think I look really different with my hair straight which is odd to me lol.
The way we wear our hair really does change the way we look, since some hairstyles will make ur head bigger, smaller, easter egg-like (sorry Champ)…
No doubt: our hair changes the way we look. And some people should not rock certain looks.
But, my question is, should you change your hair for a job or a man (or chick). For example, if your relaxer is tight, do you grow it out simple because your new guy really loves girls with naturals? Or, do you cut your locs because you think it will further your career.
“But, my question is, should you change your hair for a job or a man (or chick). For example, if your relaxer is tight, do you grow it out simple because your new guy really loves girls with naturals?”
i view making changes like this as highly problematic. if it’s a change you would have made on your own…cool…but if you’re making a change simply for another person’s pleasure.
how would whitney say it…oh, right: hell to the naw.
then again, i’m so anti-conforming-to-other-folks-whims that i’m probably as extreme as you’ll get.
I don’t necessarily agree with making such a BIG change based on one factor. Like P-money said. If you were not considering making that change before, and make it solely b/c of ur significant other, you may regret it.
P-Money…that’s a name i can get with…
Glad you dig it.
“some hairstyles will make ur head bigger, smaller, easter egg-like (sorry Champ)…”
thats ok. i’ve grown to embrace my egg.
“thats ok. i’ve grown to embrace my egg.”
That’s all you can do.
“thats ok. i’ve grown to embrace my egg”
LMAO!!!!!
Im thinking in Spanish today!
ROTFL!!!!
I agree, this is an issue that has plagued black people for a long time, especially in the corporate world. It’s like that episode on Living Single when Kyle didn’t get a promotion because he refused to cut his twists, crazy!
But I do think men have it easier, but women, if your hair looks jacked up, depending on what career field you’re in, that can definitely hinder your career. Its unfortunate, but that’s just how the world works. Now there are some employers who are accomodating, but I’m sure there are some out there that places importance heavily on appearance, and could care less about someone’s qualifications.
*Singing* “We are livvvinnngg single, ooo in a 90s kind of world, I’m glad I got my girls… Keep ur head up, o keep ur head up (thats right)”
Living Single was good TV. TV don’t come like dat no more.
Okay! That was the black woman’s version of Sex and the City before it was even thought about. I miss it!
–Sasha Two Pistols
“Okay! That was the black woman’s version of Sex and the City before it was even thought about. I miss it!”
actually, the premise of “living single” was blatantly stolen by the people who created “friends”. like, they didnt even pretend that this wasn’t the case, lol.
actually, the premise of “living single” was blatantly stolen by the people who created “friends”.
I can see that.
Hmmm, never knew that. And I can totally see it. We just can’t have anything these days I tell ya.
but wasn’t friends really about rich wp without real jobs living a black-free existence?
One of my sorority sisters if the director of HR of an international firm, I have her come to speak to several of my classes and specifically to the women of color on expectations in the work place as it relates to maintaining your ethnicity through appearance in the workplace. Believe me when I tell you many firms want you to look as unethnic as possible though they may be a “global” company
global = have sweatshops in mutliple third world countries
“Regretfully I agree, hair does matter. Everytime I wear my hair straight, I pretty much double the looks I usually get when it’s down and straight. I will say I also feel prettier but this may be the chicken and the egg argument.”
i will say that i agree, i get more looks when i wear my hair straight…but i dont feel prettier. i feel so plain with my hair straight. i love my nappy hair and whoever dont can blow me…
also, do you think that a hairstyle is directly proportional to the level of sanity?
i do. longer haired people tend to be nuts. freaks, but nuts.
You really believe this?
“You really believe this?”
no, lol.
I was just wondering…lol
“longer haired people tend to be nuts. freaks, but nuts.”
With this logic, I’m pretty sane. Short hair DONT CARE!
Yet another reason that it’s tough being Black. If you relax your hair one group views you as self-hating. If you rock a natural and/or locs, another group views you as Boho. Not to mention the implications in certain work environments. *sigh*
That said, I have two turnoffs where men are concerned: braids and long hair in general. Those styles scream “I’m young as hell” or “I’m old as hell yet in denial.”
I haven’t permed my hair in 17 years. Since then, I’ve rocked a short curly natural, a long curly natural and locs. Every 8 to 12 weeks I indulge in a blow out. Neither look has negatively affected my dating or professional life. I’ve worked in law firm marketing departments, at a software firm and in large nonprofits. And I’ve had my share of fine brothas, sporting the cleanest fades to the longest locs.
Sure, the level of attention I get from certain types of people increases/decreases depending on which style I chose. Ironically, the clean cut boys loved the long curly natural (with light skin and green eyes, I think they possessed some fantasy that I was “mixed”) and the dreads gave me mad love when my hair was blown out (though one famous Chicago reggae singer cussed me out for having straight hair, lol). But the love was/is always there.
And employers haven’t made a big deal out of my hair (during my enslavement, I mean tenure, at the law firm, I had locs).
I think it boils down to confidence and presentation. A long time ago I abandoned the idea of wearing “corporate suits” and instead adopted what some have called my trademark: patterned dresses and fly heels. Yeah, I’ve had a hater chick in the office say she wished she had as much time as I did to get dressed in the a.m. (b**** please, a dress is one piece, it’s easier to put on) and some laugh at the fact I don’t own a button down shirt, but at the end of the day this is the look I choose to present. I own it. And I get mad respect (90 percent of the time) for it.
Not sure what my point is, lol, but maybe it is this: if you own yours you will always get love, from employers and the opposite sex (or same sex, if you swing that way).
** Wow. This response was long. My bad.
**
“Not sure what my point is, lol, but maybe it is this: if you own yours you will always get love, from employers and the opposite sex”
in theory, this is true, but there are some lifestyle limiting hairstyles where “ownership” truly doesnt matter
Like?
You are only as limited as your faith in yourself. And, yeah, certain lifestyle choices (hair, tattoos, having or not having a child, living in a small city, etc.) may temporary delay your success, however you define it, but if you push on you will get there.
The dread I mentioned in an earlier post, the Nike exec, also has a full sleeve tattooed on his arm. It took him a while to reach his pinnacle – Nike was his dream – and maybe he would have gotten there faster had he not had the locs and the tags. But he got there. On his terms. So much more gratifying.
How sad it must be to make a decision based on what others think. We get one shot at this life. Living it worried about other’s perceptions is the surest way to have regrets.
“How sad it must be to make a decision based on what others think. We get one shot at this life. Living it worried about other’s perceptions is the surest way to have regrets.”
its a balancing act. sure you can’t go through life living entirely through the whims of someone else, but you cant be completely oblivious to cultural norms and mores.
each of the people you mentioned are in professions where personal creativity is stressed more than usual. in some careers, thats cool…in others, its not. thats just the way it is.
“its a balancing act. sure you can’t go through life living entirely through the whims of someone else, but you cant be completely oblivious to cultural norms and mores.”
Yeah. But that doesn’t mean you have to subscribe to them, either. My best friend’s husband is a big time finance manager at a major consulting firm. He’s got long locs. He thinks his locs may be preventing him from getting promoted; has thought that for at least two years now. But he hasn’t cut them. Some may call him stupid and may say he needs to play the game to win. But he’s playing his own game. And, to me, that already makes him a winner.
*Cues cheesy upbeat, inspirational music.**
Well in this case, he is already IN so cutting his locs isn’t as important. Besides, I’m sure another company would hire him with his locs b/c even if they don’t like his hair, they gotta dig his experience.
AND, some people will not change who they are to play the game and I respect that mucho!
“AND, some people will not change who they are to play the game and I respect that mucho!”
yeah, respect is great, but at the end of the day, principles don’t pay the bills.
I do agree that we cannot always stay firmly within the box, but I do think that the norms need to be taken into consideration at times. Of course it depends on one’s end goal, the industry, and one’s caliber (which increases choice).
If I was from Ivy League, interned at Microsoft all 4 years of college, and have skills so bomb that folks would be STUPID not to hire me, hell yeah I’d DARE Apple or IBM to turn me down even though I have tattoos. But usually, folks trying to get to where they are don’t have ALL those plusses.
Sometimes, the game must be played, even if its just a lil bit for a lil while.
“Sometimes, the game must be played, even if its just a lil bit for a lil while.”
I could not disagree more. Once you start the game – and this is only if playing the game means you are stepping outside of your true self – it is hard to get out of it. The costume you put on everyday starts to become part of you and it takes a lot of soul searching to shed it. It’s a slippery slope.
Playing the game does not always mean stepping outside of yourself. For example, I will be blowing out my kinky fro into a picked out fro next week for an interview. I am choosing to pick a more “acceptable” style while still maintaining myself. I’mo be rocking a fro either way. This time, it will just be combed. lol
The point is he thinks he is getting passed over for a promotion, big pay raise because he has locs. He refuses to cut them despite his desire for a better opportunity.
I’ve got high level people in my GOVERNMENT consulting firm with locs and other natural styles. I think it depends on the company.
“If I was from Ivy League, interned at Microsoft all 4 years of college, and have skills so bomb that folks would be STUPID not to hire me, hell yeah I’d DARE Apple or IBM to turn me down even though I have tattoos. But usually, folks trying to get to where they are don’t have ALL those plusses.”
they’d only be stupid not to hire you if there wasn’t somebody equally experienced to step into your place. and if there’s one thing life teaches us, it’s that there’s always somebody else.
but getting to a larger point (and agreeing with you Luvvie)
in a prior comment i said i don’t think you should change hairstyles for anybody. and i mean that in relationships. thing about jobs is this…you know what you’re getting into before you attempt to get the job.
you can’t sign up for the military and then get mad b/c you have to cut your hair. that’s uber-dumb.
sh*t, it goes further. if you want to work on wall street, you wear suits and professional attire. you can’t decide for yourself that you’re not gonna succumb to the status quo and wear shorts and flip-flops everyday and then get mad cuz you get sh*tcanned.
i actually know people who think that they are gonna make a multi-billion dollar company conform to them…yeah, okay.
“i actually know people who think that they are gonna make a multi-billion dollar company conform to them…yeah, okay.”
talking to these people is always amusing. this feeling seems to be especially prevalent with young black college grads. its truly the gift that keeps on giving
“i actually know people who think that they are gonna make a multi-billion dollar company conform to them…yeah, okay.”
Those are crazy people. Lol. I am not delusional enough to think everyone is going to accept you as you do you.
@ Luvvie: You can pick your fro out but if you are meeting with someone who can’t stand the look of natural black hair, picked out or not they will see it as a fro and overlook you.
My point (I finally found it) is do not make life decisions solely based on hair. Yeah…if you are in the military you know you gotta shave that head. But if you are committed to locs or wuteva, and company (or dude or chick) A doesn’t like that look, step on to plan B.
Well ALL they gon get from me is my picked out fro. Don’t mean I’mo perm it to get the gig. Just means I will compromise a bit 2 make my look more acceptable. At the end of the day, the level one is going to compromise is the difference.
“If I was from Ivy League, interned at Microsoft all 4 years of college, and have skills so bomb that folks would be STUPID not to hire me”
Software companies don’t seem to care as much as other companies as long as you have the right skills. I work at Microsoft and you see all types of styles. I’ve seen just about everything (some people even come to work in pajamas) and they don’t care as long as you have the right skills and can perform your job.
Oooo Leila. Shoot me an email at Luvvie20@gmail.com. Got some professional questions for ya, if you don’t mind.
Just sent it:)
I am a Software Developer… And we have purple haired and pierced folks all over the place. Sofware Development is the last frontier as far as expression goes.
So true! Tattoos, piercings, different color hair, very common…
When I think of “natural” I don’t think of curly hair, light skin, and green eyes. A nappy natural on someone browner is perceived different than a curly natural on a light skin chick, trust.
Yup.
“When I think of “natural” I don’t think of curly hair, light skin, and green eyes.”
Maybe you need to expand your definition of “natural”. My hair is unprocessed. My skin and eye color have nothing to do with it.
That said, maybe you are right. When I was in the shower, after I posted, I thought about that.
Who knows? I do know that I don’t let hair or skin color politics invade my decision making process.
I agree with you VEG….
I have dark-skin friends/family who have natural hair that is loose curls. I know light skin girls with kinky hair patterns. Light skin people are not exclusive to any certain hair type or grade of nappiness.
natural is natural is natural
I think you missed my point. Obviously Black folks of any shade can have any hair texture. The point is that a light skin Black woman w/ curly hair is perceived differently than a brown or dark skin woman w/ nappy hair. And a brown skin woman w/ curly hair is perceived differently than a brown skin woman w/ nappy hair. One will be told they have pretty hair and the other will be asked why she never ‘does’ her hair.
Not the way it SHOULD be, but that’s the way it IS.
gotcha
“When I think of “natural” I don’t think of curly hair, light skin, and green eyes.”
See?? This is a symptom of our color complex. Another post all by itself, but it is indicative of the views we have our of own people that are less that productive. Her hair is natural, which means without chemical process. Why should it matter what her skin color and eyes are?
“Her hair is natural, which means without chemical process. Why should it matter what her skin color and eyes are?”
it matters because admittedly, a light-skin+curly hair natural just doesnt have the same effect on the general public as a typical brown or dark skinned black woman going natural would.
like you said though, this is another topic by itself
I hear you and will concede that you guys are right that it may be perceived differently.
I was hoping I left all that mess on the playground.
The point wasn’t do debate the semantics of “natural.” The point is, a woman w/ a curly natural is NOT going to have the same experience as a woman w/ a nappy natural. Y’all acting like y’all live in La La land or something.
I feel ya and I got your point. But I think you are looking at only one side. As a light skinned woman I think folks, especially our folk, least expect me to be natural cuz they have some preconceived notion of what a “good light skinned girl” should look like. For example, when I rocked locs, I was told by a former H.S. classmate that I was too light for locs.
I think folk expect me to straighten my hair permanently and live up to some “high yella” ideal they have set in their minds.
* Standing Ovation*
I don’t think I have had different reactions whether or not I was sporting a fro, caesar fade, braids, extensions… Or maybe I just don’t care enough…
It would be like saying, “Oh I didn’t get enough good looks today because of that red belt I wore”… Just doesn’t click in my head…
I understand that hair can be more than an accessory… But to me, it mostly is.
Oh by the way, I am very dark-skinned with natural hair… And I don’t think it makes a difference.
Then again, I don’t pay attention.
I am happy to be commenting. Since school has started I have to be in bed early to be upright and cheery for the kids.
Hair MAtters…………..I dont think so. I say to each its own. I decided to go natural in January not for any “deep” reasons but because I wanted to try something different such as seeing if my hair would be healthier.
Now personal options are something different……I dont like a dude with a steve harvey cut. I dont like the Katt Williams perm on men. Braids I can deal with to a certain point but then u have to grow up and get them cut if you ever want to get a good job. The same for dreds. I love them on men. But if it keeps you from getting a job let them go.
So basically to each its own. I like mine natural.
“I dont like the Katt Williams perm on men. ”
lol…does anyone?
I know I don’t
Men should NOT be rocking a slicky ricky. It is SUCH a turn off for us to be getting our hair done by the same person.
“I dont like the Katt Williams perm on men. ”
lol…does anyone?
YES…the other men that he is sleeping with!! he’s a boy Damon!
YES…the other men that he is sleeping with!!!
Oh snap.
Someone likes it because people are telling him it looks good. I suspect some country people. lol
I don’t want a dude whose hair is longer than mine. lol
Since I have short hair, a dude can have hair longer than mine. Locs.
whoa whoa…as a country boy (intermittently), the perm is not just a country look. folks in detroit and chicago prove that definitely on a daily basis.
and if you are from detroit or chicago i DARE you to tell me that perms and s-curls don’t still get rocked!!!!
i double dog dare you.
and by the way, i saw a dude in DC with a faded-shag yesterday.
“and if you are from detroit or chicago i DARE you to tell me that perms and s-curls don’t still get rocked!!!!”
*sighs* Yeah I still see s-curls from time to time in the Chi. We gotta do better.
Oh, we musnt forget finger waves. The West Siders…
Don’t you DARE throw the Westsiders under the bus, Luvvie! You know good and well that the North and South siders have their own personal hair demons – mullets, paintbrush ponytails, and hair so overprocessed you can comb it with a fork!
Bump what ya heard. Aint NO excroose for finga waves in 08. NONE, I tell you!!
I said country which doesn’t mean southern. Country is kinda like ghetto…it can happen anywhere. There are plenty of country people in Chicago and Detroit…and DC for the matter.
“the perm is not just a country look. folks in detroit and chicago prove that definitely on a daily basis.”
this made me choke on my strawberry smoothie
“and by the way, i saw a dude in DC with a faded-shag yesterday”
Please help me out, becasue I’m trying to get a mental picture, lmao!
–Sasha Two Pistols
Living in Chicago, I can testify that the blow out and s-curl for men lives on. I dated a Haitian brotha who rocked a short, faded s-curl (in my defense, I was 22 and didn’t know any better). He only let it go when male patterned baldness reared its ugly head. I also saw a dry jherri not too long ago…
Where’s ya double dogs man??? Now I know there’s a lot going wrong in Detroit…some could say there is nothing good at all about our city and it would be hard to argue with them (but I’d try). However, I can honestly say that the curls have either dried into unkempt fros or been cut off. I gotta defend my city when I can
)! The faded shag comment had me LMAO…you need to get a picture of that.
One last thing (feeling chatty, lol). For brothas: dreads should not keep you from getting a gig. I personally know four guys with locs who are doing their thing. One is a cancer research scientist, two are professors at a major university (one in the Ivy League…and yeah I know that academia is a little less stringent) and the fourth is a big time executive at Nike.
If you bring the skills and the swagger, most companies will see your hair as just that: hair. If they don’t, I suggest you don’t want to work there anyway.
Life is too short to live in other people’s boxes. It is a lot more liberating to build your own.
“For brothas: dreads should not keep you from getting a gig. I personally know four guys with locs who are doing their thing.”
yeah, just from what ive observed, for us dreads work but braids typically dont.
I think cornrows elicit fear in the hearts of white folk (hell, some black folk, too) and are a harder sell.
But, I do know a brotha with braids who grew them AFTER he got his promotion and it’s been all good. Not sure what his prospects will be when he starts looking for another gig.
“Not sure what his prospects will be when he starts looking for another gig.”
EXACTLY. You can change once you are already IN, but approaching corporate America with braids will be difficult. Not impossible. Just difficult.
It may be difficult. But I think it would be more difficult living with yourself knowing you made a change just cause you felt you “had to” to “make it”.
Cut the damn hair, cover the tags, wear the boring ass lady suit because you want to. Not because you think you have to.
I rock FABULOUS pinstripe power suits (thankyouverymuch) with FIERCE heels to match. Ain’t ISH boring bout MY corporate wear. LOL
Anyway, if you a grown man, you shouldn’t rock braids. Job or otherwise. :-p
I ain’t never seent you in a power suit and I’ve worked with you twice! lol. Now, I give you love for your blazer game.
But you do that cuz that is your style not cuz you fear consequences from the corporate overseer. If you did fear consequences, I would not have seen one of your many Kangols, in meetings, as I often did.
Gurl we ain’t did anything that necessitated my power suit. But you saw my vest and slacks. Just FLYYY.
And LMAO @ my kangols.
V.E.G.gie Delights:
“…the boring ass lady suit…”
will (puffs) u put on (exhales) some (puffs) dresses for me?
pass…
I was born in the south and it was impressed upon me that a lady wears dresses. And while I do rock jeans or a pair of funky slacks, I am always in heels unless I am working out. So, to answer your question, you would definitely catch me in a dress. What’s your fav color?
Also, it depends how your dreds look. Now if you’re looking like Lil John trying to get a corporate job, I don’t think that will fly over well in the boardroom. But if you’re clean like Jeff Johnson, then it might be a different story.
–Sasha Two Pistols
I dont think any man over the age of 18 should still be rocking cornrows. I saw a GROWN man wearing a nice suit with braids. I wanted to take a page from Miss T-Lee’s book and punch him in the throat.
I think you should have…lol
i have made a mental note not to piss you or miss t-lee off. lol.
I’m harmless…really…
When you piss me off, I just punch you in the arm. U already know.
locs come with a regal connotation…one of strength…I would dare to say they come with an inherent air of “act right” (unless you’re in FL, of course)…they come across as a cultural choice rather than merely a hair style…braids, however, not so much…
This is all true as long as they are clean and kept up. I see too many brothas walking around looking a mess with locs.
If they aren’t done, you don’t get no respeeeccct. (in my head I heard an accent with this sentence. I’m quoting someone but I don’t remember who. Anyone know? lol)
Patra?
“they come across as a cultural choice rather than merely a hair style” exceptions due to lil wayne.
“locs come with a regal connotation…one of strength…I would dare to say they come with an inherent air of “act right” (unless you’re in FL, of course)…they come across as a cultural choice rather than merely a hair style…braids, however, not so much…”
i’m gonna have to go ahead and call BS on this.
at one POINT in time, this may have been the case. now locs are just strictly a fashion thing, culture be damned. i’ve actually been doing my own research in DC, and i swear 1 out of every 4 cats has locs. knuckleheads and bookreaders alike.
very little regality involved in a cat with locs (well kept) who robs you. only regal this cat has is the one he’s stealing.
shyyyyytttt Jack:
“very little regality involved in a cat with locs (well kept) who robs you. only regal this cat has is the one he’s stealing.”
concur.
however to white corporate America (white decision makers) dreads may deliver a different message than braids regardless of how unrealistic it is. dreads make 2520′s think that we don’t wanna mess with this guy he is concious and aware and we don’t want him to go to the NAACP or the……. on us. …provided the dreads are well kept and neat.
2520′s still don’t like dreads but they draw a diff reaction than braids.
“however to white corporate America (white decision makers) dreads may deliver a different message than braids regardless of how unrealistic it is. dreads make 2520’s think that we don’t wanna mess with this guy he is concious and aware and we don’t want him to go to the NAACP or the……. on us.”
Pretty much.
nah nah nah… I was offering that rationale as an attempt to explain how/why locs get over in Plantation America smoother than braids do…I don’t agree…I was just trying to walk a mile in Massuh’s mindset…ya dig??
“very little regality involved in a cat with locs (well kept) who robs you. only regal this cat has is the one he’s stealing.”
sidenote: i saw a young hopper yesterday rocking an obama t-shirt. i think its gonna take me another 2 weeks to fully process that image
yeah in the dirty dirty, dreads are replacing the braids…and perms….and jerri curls..probably because finding someone that still does jerri’s is like finding the last jedi knight but still….
I’m sporting my natural curls these days and my Cane River fam hates it with a passion…smh @ my own people. On a positive note, men love me with my natural hair! What is really weird tho’ is that I get approached by goon-like/hood dudes with my hair straightened and more cultured/intellectual men with my hair curly. I love my hair because at events I stand out…I like being different…..the girl with big, curly hair!
I don’t really care how my man wears his hair as long as it’s well-kempt. I do not like ratty locs, totem poles, scruffy hair, etc.
Cane River? Sending you some Creole love.
New Orleans, 7th Ward, over here. Pichon, Laurent, Dubuisson.
hey and thanks for the love…I’m apart of the Chevalier and Metoyer clan
LMAO!! You SOOO quick to shout out ur peoples.
What is a totem pole?
a totem pole is a “style” that guys wear when they pile their locs and band them so they stand straight on their heads…like a totem pole. I was told this was the name for it.
“a totem pole is a “style” that guys wear when they pile their locs and band them so they stand straight on their heads…like a totem pole. I was told this was the name for it.”
damn. i learn somethin new everyday here.
Ok the “totem pole” sounds a HOT FOOL! Nothing about it sounds attractive.
Luvvie…I was thing that same sh*t…no way dude…sounds real Flava of Love III to me!
I’ve never seen it, but based on the description, I disagree with the totem pole.
i see it twice a day in DC. everybody here has locs. hell, 8 out of 10 dentists approve of Crest…
but 9 out of 10 thugstas approve of locs.
There are thugs in DC? lol.
During my trips there, I only met/saw the wrist tippers.
I do not think I have seen a totem pole but have decided I do not like it.
I concur. Negroes walking around looking like exclamation points?! No and NO.
Good one.
LMAO @ exclamation points.
With my natural kinky fro, I get a lot of attention too b/c I’m usually the only with that style in the room. Dudes definitely notice me more, even if they don’t always approach. I see them seeing me, lol.
The natural also makes your model-esque facial features that much more noticeable.
I notice that the majority of commercials/mag ads/billboard, etc. always use black women with natural hair.
i suspect because natural folks tend towards the artsy. the artsy tend to be (a) the type to star in commercials since they’re acting and all; (b) too broke to maintain a relaxed style. and (b) is why i went natural when i went off to college.
I went natural not b/c I’m artsy (I’m really not), but b/c I was just tired of the cream crack.
I actually think naturals are overrepresented in commercials, but underrepresented in movies/on TV.
Luvvie…I will cosign on that…and when you actually have a sense of style that is not already on every manequin in your city, your style abounds the “competition”…I get people all the time asking to touch my curly, red fro…or they ask who does it…and when I say “I does it…” I get to passing out business cards and making a little money hunny…lol
it’s funny though, because folks assume I’m all “green” and “conscious” and thangs…some are shocked to see me in my gas guzzling Ford Explorer XLT bumping anything from ying yang twins (shouts out to Panama) to Nickelback…
aaaah! the duality of the Negro
“it’s funny though, because folks assume I’m all “green” and “conscious” and thangs…some are shocked to see me in my gas guzzling Ford Explorer XLT bumping anything from ying yang twins (shouts out to Panama) to Nickelback…”
YESSS!! I don’t understand why they think my hair IS my VISUAL personality. It’s not. I don’t wear kente cloth and kuri shells. I prefer a good movie to a pretentious poetry set. AND I don’t have a tattoo of an unk. SUE ME!
I don’t have an ankh-ttoo either…but I do have a few tribal tats…lol…ankhs are like red roses…nice…but over done…google something else to get tatt’d on your shoulder ni99as…google something else!
You are SOO right
“aaaah! the duality of the Negro”
Tshirt!
“aaaah! the duality of the Negro”
Tshirt!”
i concur
Gurllll…I had a dude once tell me that, because I had natural hair, I should not be in $200 shoes or driving a convertible.
WTF? Cuz I do not regularly straighten my hair I should not like nice shyt? Yeah, I choose to wash and go but I also choose to shave my legs (feeding into another ‘natural’ stereotype’).
“What is really weird tho’ is that I get approached by goon-like/hood dudes with my hair straightened”
yeah … i’ve noticed that the wearing and acceptance of kinky hair is a class thing. i don’t see too many sistas with ‘fros in the hood.
That’s a very interesting observation tiffany…
“i don’t see too many sistas with ‘fros in the hood.”
You are SO right!! When I worked on the south side of Chicago, the bus rides were like an experiment in sociology. Busses full of Black people, and I was the only one with natural hair. But when I would go to visit my college, a GOOD amount of the girls had natural hair.
Someone should get their Ph.D in sociology by studying the effect of social class on African American women’s hairstyle choices.
““What is really weird tho’ is that I get approached by goon-like/hood dudes with my hair straightened”
yeah … i’ve noticed that the wearing and acceptance of kinky hair is a class thing. i don’t see too many sistas with ‘fros in the hood.”
cuz strippers tend to have straight hair. locks would be whippin’ around and slappin’ them in the face while they tried to make it clap to chris brown’s “poppin’” straight hair is way more manageable for strippers.
hood dudes like strippers so they approach you cuz they hope you’re a stripper.
its not an exact science, but it’ll do.
(68.7 percent of this won’t hold up in court)
it’s interesting y’all say this cos in africa it’s the reverse… having a relaxer/straight hair suggests you have more money (not necessarily more class) because you can afford to get your hair done. poorer people (i have difficulty determining class boundaries at home) tend to rock a low fro or keep it cornrowed.
this is why my mother gets furious at me running around looking like kunta kinte’s long lost girlfriend.
i kid, my natural is very fierce (albeit braided up at the moment) and i definitely get more compliments than i ever did when i was relaxed.
I’ve gone natural in the last year and I’ve definitely noticed a difference. When I had long relaxed hair I got a lot more attention. Among dudes…I haven’t gotten that much attention unless they’re “Afrocentric” or they knew me before I cut my hair. I’m brown skinned…regular dark eyes…
When I have longer braids…attention.
Short fro…invisible or intimidating.
I don’t mind because it helps me weed out people with skewed values.
As for my preferences, I don’t really care how a dude has his hair as long as it’s neat. Locks are just as secsy as a close cut…
Locs are segzier than a close cut, IMO.
Give me a natty dread any day…
Whoo.
Well, heh, yeah I might have to agree…Shazaa from a different world could have gotten it all day every day before he he got on that stuff…
Shaza was fine..but his dreds were well kept… I love a dude with well kept dreds….clears throat…Low boys are great too! (looking over shoulder to see if husband is reading reply….)
ditto. yum! Gary Dourdan (a.k.a. shazaa) can get it
…i hope he alright. *sniffles*
omg did you see that picture of him on the beach? i cried myself to sleep that night…. bring back the swexy gary, you’re one of the few light skinned dudes who could get it. and i’d like you to. get it, that is.
Shaza was hot. Personally I do not like locs that are too done (I mean, it is okay to have a 1/4 inch of new growth and any brotha who sets his locs on rollers should keep on walkin) but I don’t like the ’6 big locs’ look either.
Locs can be soooo alluring. Definitely gives guys extra points. Well, unless they look extra “homegrown”. Locs that look like they hold the cure to cancer are NOt my cup of earl grey tea.
“Well, unless they look extra “homegrown”. Locs that look like they hold the cure to cancer are NOt my cup of earl grey tea.”
BWHAHAHAHAHAHA
Loves me a wavy 360.
yeah but natural waves not a processed joint
” Locs that look like they hold the cure to cancer are NOt my cup of earl grey tea.”
ROTFLMBAO
I’ve had my hair at different lengths and styles over the years and I’ve settled for the long hair option after noticing the major differences in attention and respect from both males and females. My hair is currently down to the small of my back and I can wear it in my natural curls or straighten it for a more professional look.
I suppose my main reason for keeping it long though is based on the fact that the men where I live tend to prefer a woman with long, real hair. It’s like getting major extra points in the dating game. Most would probably consider me average looking, perhaps above average on a good day, but when my hair is looking tight, I have no problems stealing a man’s attention away from a perfect 10 with a short style or weave. I realize that something so trivial as hair really shouldn’t matter, but whether we agree or not, appearances mean everything.
is your hair natural? i’m asking cos i’m growing mine out right now (i’ve been wearing a short-ish fro for the past 2 years and i want to switch it up) and i wonder if the maintenance doesn’t get exhausting past your shoulders.
“I don’t mind because it helps me weed out people with skewed values.”
so being more drawn to a certain hairstyle means that your values are messed up?
It’s not necessarily being drawn to a hairstyle, it’s more about having preconceived notions about people with certain hairstyles.
Like if you have a narrow minded opinion about people with natural hair, I probably would have kicked you to the curb eventually anyway.
But if you know people with natural hair run the gambit from the most Afrocentric person in the world to whatever is the opposite of that, then you have common sense and I can deal with you.
YEP!!!
when I had a relaxer…the men that loved me, loved it…but now, the men that loved me then, love me even more now…they didn’t want me to cut it off…but they say that the natural suits my nature…lol…and I used to wear my hair in my face…I was hiding behind my hair…and now..I got nowhere to run..it’s forced me to make eye contact and genuinely engage with people that stare…a gift and a curse…
I really never give this soul stirring thought except in Philly when the headwrap and or natural girls would side eye the chick with perms. Do poetry readings require I look like Erykah Badu?
To me its all about personal choices as said above. And honestly I don’t really look at my hair in terms of what men like. I don’t dress for what men like. It really is about what I like. Weave, real, perm, head wrap, stocking cap (jk) …I do me. And if a man comes along and likes it too, great. If he doesn’t he can go to he#ll in a handbasket.
“Do poetry readings require I look like Erykah Badu?”
riyeeeeeet?? what’s up with that? lol!!! i just wrote the very same thing in response to another comment. it’s messed up if you ask me. like what, you can’t have depth with straight hair?
exactly, HBO didn’t require I don a headwrap for def poetry jam.
“exactly, HBO didn’t require I don a headwrap for def poetry jam”
you were on def poetry?
yes I was…from my living room.
LMAO!! I was bout to say “congratulations” too
i’ll take a congrats..i JUST paid comcast. thanks!!
Well congrats are in order for at least another month of cable lol
Do poetry readings require I look like Erykah Badu?
real talk…some of the best stuff I’ve heard (aside from myself of course) has come from sisters with relaxers…I see nothing wrong with it…I was relaxed for 20 some-odd years…perms are easier to maintain that’s for sure…
my BFF is natural, but she rocks a press…she is a mutant that doesn’t sweat in her head though, if I pressed my hair, it would be a fro by lunch time…
yeah, for my uncles funeral I pressed my hair for the first time since I went natural…lt took like 6 hours and lasted like 6 minutes….never again. The closest get is wearing roller/rod set or flat twists and a roller/rod set in the back..
perms are easier for day to day maintenance. I try to tell people but they do not believe me. Help me spread the word, lol.
I dont agree with that necessarily, if i have kept up the maintenance on my fro on most occassions I can wash and go. When I get a roller/rod set I can rock that joint for about 2 weeks strait with out doing anything but cleaning my scalp and keeping it oiled and nothing was easier than the itty bitty but as far as overall hair care, I have to be way more careful with my hair now than I was with a perm. to much heat, not enough moisture, to much tension will have the fro uneven in no time, especially at the crown.
Maybe it’s just me, then. I notice my relaxed friends can pull off the satin cap and bounce in the morning. And they tell me they know natural hair is easy but they ‘just can’t do it’ (chicks must think I don’t ever comb my hair, lol).
I have to condition, untangle and rub some anti frizz stuff through it in the morning. Every morning. That’s it and it seems easy enough but it ain’t “untie and go”.
btw…Camron (with this song) is making me forget and forgive he drove a blue lambo. (was it blue or baby pink?)
“btw…Camron (with this song) is making me forget and forgive he drove a blue lambo. (was it blue or baby pink?)”
i think it was a pink range
A pink range rover w/ pink fur. I shan’t EVER forget. It is scorched into my memory of “hot *ss messes”
Yep…freakin’ chump.
He is a little “how you doin’” But thats ok too. When is it going to be ok for some rappers to come out, come out wherever you are?
It still doesnt change the fact that “comehome with me” is pretty hot.
If I must like a Cam’Ron song, it would be “What Means the World to You”. Mostly cause I like the Roxanne” sample…lmao
Or “Suck It Or Not’…I’m gonna laugh at myself for that one.
“It still doesnt change the fact that “comehome with me” is pretty hot.”
honestly, for a guy who’s pretty much the bane of all positive existence, cam does have a few bangers in his catalog. tracks like “glory”, “losing weight”, “where i’m from”, etc still are pretty hot
1. F**k that jolly rancher dude.
2. I ain’t dating no dude in cornrows unless he’s Allen Iverson. He’s even undateable because he’s a loony toon (and married).
3. My hair is natural and has been for years. However I straighten it now mostly with a blowout. I alternate between the curly look and the permed/blown out look. When i first cut my shoulder-length hair off to go natural, dudes approached me on campus like “Why didn’t you ask me before you did that?” Mind you, these were dudes I was never NEARLY in a relationship with, nor did I consider it.
I understand people having preferences. I know a guy who detests weaves and doesn’t much care for short or natural hair. However, he’s not dead set against it.
Your preferences can help me weed you out of my potential dating pool. Just like I don’t date men who have real problems with homosexuals (I’m not one, but I don’t tolerate intolerance), I don’t date men who have a hatred for natural Black hair. It says more about you than it does about me.
4. Although I for sure omitted many men from my dating pool by cutting my hair back then, I opened the door to a new crop of guys who totally loved it.
“2. I ain’t dating no dude in cornrows unless he’s Allen Iverson.”
arent cornrows natural black hair?
Yes. But I don’t care for the style. I think it’s just over in the same way that I think a high top fade is over.
My dislike for cornrows does not translate to a dislike for natural hair. Isn’t most Black men’s hair “natural black hair?”
I’m sooo with you, Ndenise
“Your preferences can help me weed you out of my potential dating pool. Just like I don’t date men who have real problems with homosexuals (I’m not one, but I don’t tolerate intolerance), I don’t date men who have a hatred for natural Black hair. ”
+10. and same here.
co-sign!
I seriously wasn’t ready for the jolly rancher dude.
I dated a dude with cornrows once, and things went along fine, until one day he showed up for s a date with bright beads on the ends that matched his tie. I told him, point blank, that I couldn’t see him anymore because his hairstyle choices reflected poor judgment.
“I dated a dude with cornrows once, and things went along fine, until one day he showed up for s a date with bright beads on the ends that matched his tie.”
did he also come with a penis inside his an*s, or did he decide to leave that at home?
“Did he also come with a penis inside his an*s, or did he decide to leave that at home?”
…this made me laugh so hard, I bumped my head on the window.
“…this made me laugh so hard, I bumped my head on the window.”
window?
Lol, at the office…
“Did he also come with a penis inside his an*s, or did he decide to leave that at home?”
…….wow……LMAO
I told him, point blank, that I couldn’t see him anymore because his hairstyle choices reflected poor judgment.
LOL..this has me CTFU. How did he take it?
He was seriously offended that I didn’t appreciate his attention to detail and all the “effort he put into looking fresh for me”. Now, if he had a limited frame of reference and honestly didn’t know any better, I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, provided he took that shat out immediately. But since he had the unmitigated gall to passionately defend those little shiny beads that made me dry heave on sight, I ended it right there.
the visual of a grown ass man with beads on his hair matching his tie just made my day. le sigh. i wonder what his thought process was…?
wait, i saw this pic of this dude i used to talk in college on my space…replete with cornrows with beads. i asked him about it…cause that just made him even more UBER suspect to me…he said he was just “doing something”. GTFOH with that nonsense!
STFU with that mess!! My co-worker is ready to kick me out of the office I laughed so hard on that one.
i’ve had my hair in just about every conceivable hairstyle except for braid extensions & the long weave. I have sported the following: a jheri curl (80′s only), a relaxer, dreadlocks, low-natural, a fade (yes, it’s true), cornrows, two strand twists, dyed light brown, pressed, the angela davis afro, and my current style the curly natural (courtesy of mousse & gel). a friend of mine jokes that i change my hair every two years…and this is true. (i’m actually due for a major style change in less than a month) sometimes it’s just because i’m bored, but many times i’ve stubbornly and defiantly changed my hair in response to guys. let me explain…
there’s typically only 2 reasons i’ve changed my hairstyle- no scratch that, my whole look- 1) the post-break-up let me reinvent myself reason OR 2) a guy i was currently dating and/or interested in told me NOT to change my hair because he liked it the way it was when he met me.
#2 undoubtedly gets the eyebrow raise. see, i never wanted to admit that someone liked me simply because my hair was bone straight or fashionably afrocentric, sooooo…. to test his true attraction to me (yeh, the inner beauty i so wanted to believe he was drawn to) i would chop off my hair or get a relaxer. i did this because it infuriated me that these guys in my life had this ‘hair type’ that they were so fixated on and that the thought of me changing it could possibly cool their affections towards me.
all 3 times i did this, the guy was not happy. when i was 22, one cat in particular stopped speaking to me when i chopped off my locs after he told me just the week before how much he loved my locs and to never get rid of them. i thought to myself at the time, is my perceived beauty this conditional? apparently so…
So boys and girls, i haven’t done any of these houdini tricks in about 10 years…wait, no 4 . And from this i learned that if a brotha digs your hair the way it is, chances are it plays a major role in why he is attracted to you. it’s part of your whole package. i guess? (lol)
but what i’d like to know is…which style on me will the get the most head turns from guys today- straight or natural? this is something i’ve been dying to figure out. and i just so happen to be itchin’ to go straight again. hmmm…do i smell a hot comb?
~ i’ll keep you posted on my experiment.
“i did this because it infuriated me that these guys in my life had this ‘hair type’ that they were so fixated on and that the thought of me changing it could possibly cool their affections towards me.”
coooo-siiiggn….
love your name means church in kiswahili………. made me smile
plus cosigning on Miss p
Thanks! LOL I didn’t even know that until about 7 years ago. My mother just took the h our of Kanisha.
” 2) a guy i was currently dating and/or interested in told me NOT to change my hair because he liked it the way it was when he met me”
And so what happened to him after that. Reinvention is a way to wash a man right out of your hair for real. You can most definitely see what and who sticks and stays.
“i haven’t done any of these houdini tricks in about 10 years…wait, no 4″
lol…you sure its not 2 years, or maybe even 10 months?
Ya know i eluv ya miss p, but a radical change in appearance would piss me off too. I had a boyfriend that when from a low cut to locs. I didn’t leave him because of it, I mean i did love him, but I was quite unhappy about it.
i know no one asked me this, but i memorized that entire song ‘good & bad hair’ back in ’87 …when school daze came out… matter of fact, i know all the songs by heart on the soundtrack, and i can still sing along. for this reason, i’m special (both with & without air quotes) and i deserve a cookie!!! where’s my cookie?
That movie and Dean-Big-Brother-All-Migh-T is probably single-handedly responsible for brothas rockin’ the 6 inch part in the middle of the fade back in the day…well that and the scene where Tisha Cambell licks the part in the “Bone Room”.
G Phi G…act like you want!!!
Oh, and Patty take this Gamma cookie…because only Gamma cookies are real cookies.
Watching her lick his greasy part almost made me scared to go to college.
me too…..I mean you gone trip about kissing Martin but you licked ol boy part? Heffa please!
“Watching her lick his greasy part almost made me scared to go to college.”
lol..were you scared you’d hafta lick random men’s parts too?
Pingback: And So It Is Live » Gimmie a head with hair
DANG why are all of you ninja’s up this late!! umm anyway this is a touchy subject for me. Hair definitely matters for men and women. 1. Hair, like any other accessory shows your taste and preference. It is a reflection of class and/or social etiquette or lack thereof. I would not date a grown man with braids (probably a rapper, ceo of “record company” or customer service rep, maybe a few dudes still in the hood but most of the real hood ninjas got dreads now or went back to the bald fade or lo boy), or parts (you’re an adult why they hell do you need parts in your head?) , words (immature), colors(immature) or processed “waves’ (indication of pretentious b!tcha$$ness and hereafter abbreviated to pba), scurls (pba), dukes (pba), colored, frosted, bangs, or any type of jewelry adornment (pba). I think I covered it all. However it’s hard because having a natural in the south (way more acceptable now than 5 years ago) I hate when I am judged strictly by my hair. I hate when people say that natural hair is inappropriate in work settings or men that hate “nappy” hair. First as far as a woman is concerned it is the style not the sate of the hair that makes it inappropriate. my huge shoulder length fro is not appropriate in the office, but neither is your video ho 22inch blond ponytail or your faux hawk.
“I think I covered it all”
lol…i think so too
my huge shoulder length fro is not appropriate in the office, but neither is your video ho 22inch blond ponytail or your faux hawk.
shady type that isht!! I swear Beyonce is ruining the world one head of hair at a time! I will admit, I rock my fro to work…occasionally an afro puff…or some fabric…but I work at a nonprofit with a ridiculously relaxed dress code…and even when I wear jeans and a company tshirt…I am more dressed up that the flip flop, fat ankled heffas in my department! don’t even get me started on these heads up here! we need to start a campaign called Beauty Shop for the Cure… SH*T!
“Beauty Shop for the Cure”
*Filling out 501(c)3 apps and articles of incorporations as we speak*
on another note, hairstyles can drastically affect your overall appearance a lot of times a simple cut or color can take you from 0-10 quickly, we have all seen the makeover shows the revrse is also true. I have a wide face and big head my itty bitty fro was not the most becoming look on me. I do believe that it was more that fact than it being an itty bitty that traffic was no longer stopping for me.
“on another note, hairstyles can drastically affect your overall appearance a lot of times a simple cut or color can take you from 0-10 quickly, we have all seen the makeover shows the revrse is also true. I have a wide face and big head my itty bitty fro was not the most becoming look on me.”
this is very true. its also true that some women just plain look better with perms than a natural, because of head and face shapes, but seem to be extremely loath to admit that
“this is very true. its also true that some women just plain look better with perms than a natural”
You don’t have to perm ur hair to get the LOOK. A good blow dry will do it for you. At least for 24 hrs (or 12, depending on how hot it is where you are at).
And I actually think ANY woman can look good with natural hair. They just need to find a style that works for them. Every one can rock a TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro), but there is something else they could rock.
“its also true that some women just plain look better with perms than a natural, because of head and face shapes, but seem to be extremely loath to admit that.”
i disagree. that’s like saying, “some white women look better with an 80s style curly perm than their naturally straight hair, but they won’t admit it”. NO ONE looks good in one of those joints – i actually need to put whoever invented that on my list of people to shoot. but imho, whatever’s growing out of your head is what suits you cos it’s what God gave you – you just need to style it right. if you don’t comb or shea butter up your natural hair, it’s going to look a hot mess and obviously you’ll look better with a perm. but i don’t think that any black woman is unable to wear her hair natural cos it looks “better” when it’s styled straight using ho chi kim’s yaki.
i disagree. that’s like saying, “some white women look better with an 80s style curly perm than their naturally straight hair, but they won’t admit it”
well….some do, lol. sh*t, one of the best looking snizzles ive ever seen rocked the curly brown perm in “better off dead”
i can’t do it… then again, my experience of the white woman perm extends to a french teacher with scary eczema, red cheeks and rotten teeth. and a reverend boyfriend called “raaaaaaaaaaaaay” (extra rolls on the r). either which ways, my original point stands.
its not that they need a perm…again its not the state its the style..there are plenty of ways to wear natural hair other than the fro. So if the fro aint your look you might try twists, roller sets, twist and roller sets, braids, blow out, etc…..
I like it when people rock different looks. It’s boring to be in cities where everyone has the same hairstyle and too many people conform because of their jobs, making the right impression on others, and other people’s opinions. When it comes to guys, I like all sorts of looks from dreads, twists, to short and bald. It depends on facial features, personality, etc. But if you’re gonna have dreads, just make sure that they look nice. I saw a man last week who had the nicest dreads and it made him stand out. I don’t think that I would have noticed him as quick if he had a short cut….
“But if you’re gonna have dreads, just make sure that they look nice”
This is imperative.
“But if you’re gonna have dreads, just make sure that they look nice”
Yes. I want NOT to see a man with locs that look like a replica of the rainforest. Looking like your hair is a host of all the world’s endangered species is NOT the biz.
unfortunately, people do claim to know you based on your hair preferences.
i’ll never forget, back in the day, “gods” used to aggressively ask, “yo! what’s up under that wrap, y0!,” and I, being an asshole, would say, “why permed tresses, of course.”
man, those dudes would be heated; they’d walk away mad (with their permed girlfriends?) mumbling something about the motherland.
actually, i haven’t straightened my hair since high school and i was surprised when i cut my fro years ago (yep, i had a fade) and dudes were on it. i mean strange-dudes-yelling-from-the-train on it. quite a surprise since my father, after asking me if i like fish (tossed salads and making rap ballads), told me that men don’t like women without hair.
I heard that a lot from my dad and older uncles when I first cut my hair. One uncle told me that with my smart a$$ mouth and short hair I would never get a man!!!
“i’ll never forget, back in the day, “gods” used to aggressively ask, “yo! what’s up under that wrap, yo!,”
oh boy, you just took me back to my AUC days…when a perm would get you a side eye glance and a wrap/natural would get you a 10 minute drum chant by the ‘tree people’ at “Underground Live”- the Morehouse spoken word night. i mean why i gotta be nappy to get some luv when i read a poem? sheeeeeeeeeet. (don’t worry, miss p got luv though, cuz she was rockin’ her lovely locs.)
i mean why i gotta be nappy to get some luv when i read a poem?
cuz nappy people are deep. and deep people are complicated on the inside. and complicated people on the inside carry notebooks. and people who carry notebooks write. and nappy people who write…write poetry, of course. they also wear earthtones and ankhs.
i should obviously steer clear of poetry nights… this nappy head does not f*x with all that hippy sh*t… ankhs… *smh* you can’t even catch my african ass wearing a caftan.
you can’t even catch my african ass wearing a caftan.
You are funny!!!
“quite a surprise since my father, after asking me if i like fish (tossed salads and making rap ballads), told me that men don’t like women without hair.”
ok. any reference to anything from “ironman” gets you an honorary comment of the day
“after asking me if i like fish (tossed salads and making rap ballads)”
You’re cool with me, especially with the GFK nod…lol
Nice topic, love the blog, read it every day!
Anyway, I went natural at 19 because I got tired of looking like a bald-headed bird with a relaxer in my hair. I tried everything and it was just too thin and would break off after a while (I have fine hair). But when I did it, I cannot say it wasn’t a life altering experience. I definitely realized the rules I’ve been taught about “proper grooming” were all hogwash and a woman should do what is best and most healthy for her mane. Not to say that a relaxer damages every woman’s hair, but it wasn’t working out for me in particular. I hate when women let their sh*t get all thin and it looks like five strings of angel hair spaghetti hanging from their follicle, ick.
My family told me I wouldn’t get a job and I would look crazy, all that mess. And then when my joint started growing, everyone was like, “oooo, you got that good hair…” Ha!
Anyway….There has been a DRAMATIC difference in the type of men who approach me. Dudes will stare regardless, but they keep mum. I asked a male friend why does this happen since he sees me in my “natural” habitat and he says, “you’re intimidating. A black woman in her early 20s with a fro is not the norm.”
Obviously, he’s retarded…but he may be correct in a very slight sense. I think that while dudes may be attracted, they don’t want to say anything because they think I won’t have anything in common with them. Which just goes to show you how people have preconceived notions about hairstyles, appearance, etc. Just because I rock a fro (and I rock it well not to mention youthfully) doesn’t mean I’m rolling around in dashikis and burn incense in my crib all day. I like a lot of the same sh*t you do.
And similar to some other vsb regulars who posted above, I notice a difference in attention when I wear braids. The young fellas go nuts (I’m 23).
The moral of my story is: I just want to be approached by someone under 30 with my fro dammit. That would actually be a conceivable prospect, lol. No offense to anyone over 30, don’t jump me, but I’m sayin…do the math! Lol
In regards to men: I hate braids on grown ass men, they look like big kids! I don’t like s curls or anything greasy looking either. Just get a shape up and look clean. And use aftershave or something that smells good, lol. Smelling good is always best
intimidation. hmmm … is this why i always get the over forty/gold toothed crowd exclusively?
“Smelling good is always best”
I could go on all day on this one.
LOL!
“you’re intimidating. A black woman in her early 20s with a fro is not the norm.”
he actually said that to you?
Yes, he did say this. I talk to ignorant people sometimes, I want know what’s inside of their minds, lol.
Yea, we had a really “deep” convo when he said that and it made my head hurt. He was like “me and my dudes look at girls like you and are like ‘she’s beautiful, but I can’t.’” I work in entertainment and I realized that a lot of those dudes have serious insecurity issues and meet the criteria of your pretentious entry. I wonder how they will explain beauty to their daughters…
Folks are really into appearances man. Especially our fellow coloreds.
Okay, gotta go back to work!
“He was like “me and my dudes look at girls like you and are like ’she’s beautiful, but I can’t.’”
was “plus, i like balls anyway so it wouldnt matter” his next sentence?
“Just because I rock a fro (and I rock it well not to mention youthfully) doesn’t mean I’m rolling around in dashikis and burn incense in my crib all day. I like a lot of the same sh*t you do.”
I mean, HELLO somebody! Wearing a fro does not make me E. Badu’s long lost sista or homegirl. I keep my fro neatly done, ya heard? Why folk think that you’re a hippie or revolutionary for wearing your hair in its NATURAL state is beyond me.
As for the mens, my PREFERENCE is bald (something about the milk dud heads get me), but i’ve also been known to swoon over dudes with well groomed locks. And the fade, ceasar, or any other short cut…they are for all seasons and reasons.
On a guy…the only hair turn off I have is braids…and I think it has alot to do with me fearing criticism for not being able to braid.
On me…from someone who has burned off chunks of her hair with a curling iron, as well as had a freak dying accident that left her hair in polka dots…I leave my hair to the care of my fave Dominican….Miss Carmen.
But I will say, I find both bald heads and dreads extremely sexy on a man.
“as well as had a freak dying accident that left her hair in polka dots”
lol…oh damn.
Yea. I think I cried on both accidents. What would we do without cosmetologists?
hair, a gift and curse
You said it.
I’m starting to think that everyone in the blogosphere gets together and chooses a topic list for the week…seeing as how everyone has been in synch with the same topics lately.
…must be the solar eclipse Comeback Girl was talking about.
No real comment about the topic….my hair currently sucks and it’s adversely affecting my mood…maybe all of that will change if my hurr appt isn’t cancelled due to this damn hurricane.
“I’m starting to think that everyone in the blogosphere gets together and chooses a topic list for the week…seeing as how everyone has been in synch with the same topics lately.”
**checking teacia’s ip address to make sure she doesnt really know about our secret meetings**
lol…it just must be in the universe.
I’m starting a movement to bring the jheri curl back.
Anyone else want to hop on board? The train is leaving in less than a week.
“I’m starting a movement to bring the jheri curl back. ”
you might just make a mint if you can get with car manufacturers. Perhaps you can spec out a plastic convertable jheri curl head rest. Cause I’ll be dam#ned if that activator messes up my seats.
Comeback – Way to recognize a potential business opportunity. Me likey!!!
“Way to recognize a potential business opportunity”
after I had my morning crack (espresso) i find opportunity in oxygen. It just don’t stop..plastic caps, bedding, handbags)
the jheri curl touches so many other potential markets its amazing.
“I’m starting a movement to bring the jheri curl back. ”
STOP. IT.
I just went to IHOP the other day, and there was a whole family that had jheri curls. Im mean the husband, wife, and both sons. It was unbelieveable.
As far as hair goes, I like different styles, I like to see creativity. I love when women do the mohawk thing. I also love dreads ,twists and afros.
“I just went to IHOP the other day, and there was a whole family that had jheri curls. Im mean the husband, wife, and both sons. It was unbelieveable.”
…and you didnt take any pics????
Like Champ said – No pictures???? Situations like that are what camera phones were made for.
Besides I need all the people I can to start this movement. A family that curls together, stays together.
were they time traveling from ’87??? i mean, i could see one parent, but BOTH and the KIDS? i call foolywang on that isht…
someone needs to cause DHS on them quickly…can you imagine what those kids go through every day? its abuse I tell you…ABUSE!
Please don’t.
“Anyone else want to hop on board? The train is leaving in less than a week.”
That is one train I’ll gladly help PUSH out the station. I will NOT be letting my “Soul Glo” anytime soon.
assembling the McGuyver kit now…
that train must not leave the station
Nah, can’t even do it…I didn’t leave the jheri illusion alone til ’91…and I can’t go to the juicy juice hair EVER again lol!
I had it for exactly one year. ’88. By ’89 I was back to the press.
I hated every bit of ’88. From my Mom passing away to that MF jheri curl. It was a rough year.
I’m starting a movement to bring the jheri curl back.
I love you…but I will kill you myself!! I had a curl but it was short lived because the smell of the activator made me nauseus so I had to have it stripped!! JHERI IS THE DEVIL!!!
too late. the midwest beat you to it.
Ummm no Panama. You tryna ruin the good name and reputation of the Midwest!! We are not the jheri curl connoisseurs you take us to be. I thought the South had that on lock.
I ain’t saying Southerners don’t have them…however, everytime I go visit my family in Detroit, I have to reprogram myself and remind myself that what I’ve seen in the D doesn’t carry over to the rest of the US. lol.
Lol. Where in the D are you going? I will admit to seeing some finger waves recently, but I haven’t seen a curl in a very long time.
yall can fall up off the south…we been let the Jerri Curl go! now you might find a few perms and maybe even a hightop fade everynow and again but the curls are a no go!
I keeps the clean bald fade and have rocked for about 1.5 decades. I guess you can say I’m loyal to it.
To answer the question of how does it matter to me, well, it’s fairly expensive to maintain. I HAVE to get a cut every week. It’s imperative. With the cut, razor shave, and tip, I’m giving my barber $22-$25 a week. You can do the math and figure how much that is a year.
The thing is, I don’t feel right if without a fresh cut.
“The thing is, I don’t feel right if without a fresh cut.”
yeah, i’m the exact same way. if i go more than 6 or 7 days without a shape-up or trim, i start to feel like courtney love
i start to feel like courtney love
‘da hell? lol
“i start to feel like courtney love
‘da hell? lol”
courtney love is the truest personification of “nasty, grimey, and disheveled”
“Courtney Love is the truest personification of “nasty, grimey, and disheveled”
…True, but Amy Winehouse seems to be running for that title as of late. She’s cracktastic!
Yeah…I’m with you AkShone, I think Amy has Courtney beat hands down in the disheleved department.
“Yeah…I’m with you AkShone, I think Amy has Courtney beat hands down in the disheleved department.”
have either of you actually SEEN courtney love lately? sh*t, i wouldnt bone her with remy ma’s d*ck.
dayum….
and no I haven’t seen her lately.
Yo I think yall are just routined. Mind you I have heard from the chick who influenced me to go from a bald/temper fade to a cesar that a dude should never look like he needs a hair cut. And if yo jawn grow that fast so be it. But in my experience the longer you go w/o a cut the slower it grows. I always felt that you can’t mess up my hair cut. “Cuz I’m so cool and fly” shout outs to Tabby Bonnet
With the cut, razor shave, and tip, I’m giving my barber $22-$25 a week. You can do the math and figure how much that is a year.
That 25 a week is why I went to a fade last year. Most women wish that they could just spend $25 a week for their hair. When I rocked the perm it cost me about 50 weekly just to get washed and styled. Then every month and a half it would cost about 125 to get permed. I have a short natural and I decieded to wear braids this summer 250 and 100 to get touched up. Now I’m afraid to do the annual tally on that.
I ain’t been to the beauty shop since prom! and I ain’t going…I have always done my hair myself…and even when it was relaxed, my sh*t was puuuurrdy! lol… I wish I would spend a tank of gas for someone to do to me, what I can do to myself…I braid, sew in weaves, loc, relax, roller set, body wrap, kinky twist…etc…so if you are in the DFW metroplex..holler atcha play cousin…I gotcha!
I wish I would spend a tank of gas for someone to do to me, what I can do to myself
I do too @ Goodie, but sometimes I just don’t have the time. The micros are a beast to do yourself and they never look as nice as when the Africans do it. Three people braiding away makes for shorter braiding time (like 4 hour instead of 6-8) that’s why I pay.
you know, i’m like that too…except i just shave my head bald every few days. after a few days i just feel unsightly and unkempt.
Everything about us speaks to who we are as a person.
While you can’t tell what type of profession a person has looking at their hair you can surely tell what type the don’t have. The same with maturity. When I became a (wo)man I put away childish things.
I have always been attrached to men that were well kept in the hair and whiskers dept. Short and neat, neat, neat.
While you can’t tell what type of profession a person has looking at their hair you can surely tell what type the don’t have. The same with maturity.
You are so right…let mebe a “witness” to this statement…..
Exactly. If you see a chick with a neon green faux-hawk, you know that she’s probably not anyone’s CEO.
Who’s to say she’s not? In the music business, especially at indie labels, you see all types of hair. Same goes in the techie/dotcom world. Or maybe she is a highly successful entrepreneur and owns her own salon or personal training business (I knew a sista who once rocked a pink mohawk who was a successful trainer). We don’t know. We just assume. People are out there now, making their own way for exactly this reason: they grew tired of trying to fit into a mold.
C’mon you know this the exception, not the norm.
The last time I saw a neon-green faux hawk the chick was bagging my groceries.
I have to agree with V.E.G. If I was a partner at a law firm (specializing in like mergers or some other traditionally conservative discipline) I would poo-poo a green faux/mo hawk and probably wouldn’t suggest any future promotions to sr. partner.
But there are industry leaders and company owners where I would seek the shyt out. These people are typically innovators. They think outside the box. They are risk takers. I would have them write their own check if they were working on some trendy ad campaign, designing my website etc. etc. And in alot of places i don’t necessarily assume they aren’t runnin’s shyt.
In the mainstream society it is not acceptable. When I seek out professionals to do business with (legal, financial) the appearance counts for a lot.
If you expect me to take you seriously, my first thought upon seeing you cannot be “Are you serious?”
If you expect me to take you seriously, my first thought upon seeing you cannot be “Are you serious?”
Exactly.
I agree…I wouldn’t want a CPA or tax professional taking mad risks. And I do need them to be conservative and NOT overly creative with the calculator. So yes a nice “business professional” attire is reallly a must.
but if Im working on a children’s book and need an illustrator. Yes Please do have pink, purple and green hair. Ride your skateboard to work. Live in a converted alley dweling loft. Talk about your “inner voice”. Just be on time wit my shyt.
I guess I just love very creative people and I have a serious soft spot for them and think the universe should bless them with a “room of their own”.
If you see a chick with a neon green faux-hawk, you know that she’s probably not anyone’s CEO.
nah…IF she works at all, she’s probably in a highly creative industry (music, art, promotions, etc) or a call center…
“nah…IF she works at all, she’s probably in a highly creative industry (music, art, promotions, etc) or a call center…”
or bagging my groceries at the winn-dixie off of MLK in Adamsville (well Harland Terrace really…Zone 4) with two gold teeth and her named tattooed on her arm…
….or just lives in Baltimore.
“or bagging my groceries at the winn-dixie off of MLK in Adamsville (well Harland Terrace really…Zone 4) with two gold teeth and her named tattooed on her arm…”
Thank you…I live in the ATX. And yes, I understand these folks are creative. Austin has it’s fair share of freaks (our motto is “Keep Austin Weird”) musicians, and artists.
However, I know that the majority of them ain’t runnin’ no companies. They are runnin’ my food to me on their bike when I order a sammich. That’s all I’m saying.
However, I know that the majority of them ain’t runnin’ no companies. They are runnin’ my food to me on their bike when I order a sammich. That’s all I’m saying.
Dag miss T! I mean, i can’t say you are incorrect, but damn! LOL
….or just lives in Baltimore.
word….life…
I’ve always been attracted to the clean cut look on men. Fades (southside, table, bald), caesars, or locks. I loathe conrows, unless they’re on a female. Facial hair is always a plus. Especially a nicely groomed goatee, or a beard/mustache combo. Pair this with a pair of glasses and it’s a wrap. Whooo Lawd!!!
My hair on the other hand is natural. I wear it how I please be it mine or hair that I bought (still mine).
It’s never been an issue with anyone that I’ve dated. I did have a slight problem when one of my x’s decided he wanted to go from clean cut to cornrows. It was slight issue, but as I mentioned before, he got fired, and that took care of itself.
eff that give me a chick with a bald head or little to no hair like India Arie. I’m sick and tired of seeing hair all over the bathroom sink and on my bar of soap.
The only exception to having short hair is when I’m hitting it from behind. Yes, I like to pull hair!
“I’m sick and tired of seeing hair all over the bathroom sink and on my bar of soap. ”
how does hair end up on a bar of soap…please don;t tell me she’s shampooing and conditioning with zest.
“how does hair end up on a bar of soap…please don;t tell me she’s shampooing and conditioning with zest.”
If she is, it would explain why her hair is shedding like crazy.
“how does hair end up on a bar of soap”
if you have long hair that you comb in the shower, stray hairs fall where they will. i get on my own dang nerves with that ish, but it’s hard to comb it otherwise.
Hair on the soap????? EWWWWWW
Are you sure that’s not her coochie hair?
“Are you sure that’s not her coochie hair?”
iDied!! LMAO!!
““Are you sure that’s not her coochie hair?”” LOL
well couchie poo???? WAS it coochie hair???
The only exception to having short hair is when I’m hitting it from behind. Yes, I like to pull hair!
I just had a visual of a man hitting it from the back and reaching for some hair to pull and his fingers slipping off her scalp…HA!
“Facial hair is always a plus. Especially a nicely groomed goatee, or a beard/mustache combo. ”
This is part of the standard uniform for black males in Philly
Oh yeah? I think I need to visit the Northeast…lol
“This is part of the standard uniform for black males in Philly”
are yall still putting hair dye in it…can you send out a memo if thats the case to tell them to cease and desist.
are yall still putting hair dye in it…can you send out a memo if thats the case to tell them to cease and desist.
Is this dying out the gray?
Someone explain this to the chick from TX.
I can’t really explain all I can say that sometime in 2004, there was this trend that couch says ened in 99 (below). Men were dying their facial hair. YES DYING IT. Like jet black number 1. They would also put wax in it. Yes wax.
I was fascinated one time I even thought about doing some type of athropolgical pop culture study on the phenom. It was serious. And it aint die in 99. I just gotta put that out there.
Wow. Now I’ve heard of dudes dying it to cover the gray, but that jet black + the wax is crazy…lol
“I can’t really explain all I can say that sometime in 2004, there was this trend that couch says ened in 99 (below). Men were dying their facial hair. YES DYING IT. Like jet black number 1.”
this still happens. its called bejean(sp?).
“This is part of the standard uniform for black males in Philly”
pittsburgh too. honestly, you can’t trust a black dude from the burgh who has no facial hair. he could be a commie or something
I like nicely groomed facial hair. Road trip to Philly?? Possibly
Let’s go Luvvie. You get this gas, I’ll get the food.
Hell naw!! Gas is $8 million. We split the gas AND the food. You tryna play me, lol
I know…lol.
You caught me.
I WANNA GO!! you gotta come through Dallas to get to Philly from ATX anyway…lol…I will put in on gas and COOK some food…ya’ll know we eats up some sh*t around here…LOL
You had me at “COOK some food”. I’m a skinny glutton (oxymoronic, but true)
Bet.
Hey…I wanna roll. I vote “yes” to facial hair. On men. lol.
that and pastel colors.
hair most defenitely influence peoples pre-concieved notions of what ur personality is.
khans take on womens hair:
…clean and a style that compliments your features whether it’s “natural” or permed.
extra cool points for a style that is “natural” and sexy and compliments you features the best.
extra cool points if ur style DOES NOT prohibit rough sex (cause u might mess up that new doo) swimming, sweating etc.
extra cool points if u don’t have to do much to ur hairstyle to be sexy in it. (carefree and still hott)
points taken away for dying ur hair colors that don’t “naturally” exist on human beings. (i.e. burgundy, blue… (pass for working entertainers in showbiz)
minus points for extensions like fake braids, fake this, fake that. (pass for medical circumstances and working entertainers) …and although it has enhanced the looks of many people, i’d much prefer you work with what u got.
i do love womens hair. khans mother knew when he was a baby that he loved womens hair because he always loved playing in hers. dam i was a cute asz baby. they say the female nurses were on tilt when i made my splash.
back to the subject at hand.
hairstyles and hygeine defenitely give people pre-conceived judgements about ur personality socially and professionally. in the work and professional world those initial imperssions carry a lot of judgement and hairstyle has great influence on pre-judgement especially when it’s a style that doesn’t fit the status quo. however after u have gained some credibility the more “risque” styles are usually not a problem if well kept.
“Now question is every nigga wit dreads for the cause?
Is every nigga with golds for the fall?..nah
So dont get caught in appearence
Its OutKast Aquemini another black experience.”
Andre Benjamin “Aquemini”
this is why i e-love you, GK…
luv u too JBoogz.
Genius, you can get it. Just for that long comment of urs.
…and yes Luv, i bet we would enjoy every second, every inch, every hour of play, pleasure and power.
pinch urself.
get in line ladies…LOL…me and IH got that e3some on lock…LMAO
mine is just platonic lol…y’all can have him all to yourselves
JBoogz clarifies:
“mine is just platonic” (love)
church hugs u back.
btw, these girls don’t really want to make a sammich out of me. it’s just an image, it was all a fantasy.
kisses ur forehead
it’s SO cute that you think we’re playing…lol
***plotting with the others for a roadtrip to GK, USA***
i’m right here Goody Goody Gumdrops. i do love the ladies. beautiful from the inside out.
spank urself (and make it sting a lil bit)
“they say the female nurses were on tilt when i made my splash.”
just for that line, i’ll co-sign and say i love you too.
thank u puff.
it’s good to be loved. luv u too.
squeeze urself.
I just developed a huge cyber crush on GK cuz of this post. lol.
Basically, we should rock hair, processed, natural, wuteva, that makes us look our most attractive. I mean, I am tired of seeing unattractive people on the streets. lol.
I’ve changed my hairstyle over the years so much that if I was my hair, I’d be a gypsy. I’m currently rocking my hair in a kinky short afro, in a copper-ish color.
I find that men approach me differently in that they usually use the words “sistah” and I can SEE them telling themselves “don’t give her the black power fist.”
This is so funny to me. Aside from a few random hair assaults by rastas, lol, I have not noticed anything re: people’s reaction to my do.
I am usually get “my sista!”, “hey, sexy”, “hello beautiful” or “waddup, red?” no matter what my hair looks like. That last one generates an eye roll.
I wonder..if you THINK hair matters to others, are you just more likely to notice stuff like this?
I have been rockin either a caesar or 360s since I was about 19, the two decades prior were filled with variations of low-cut fades…I only started rocking a caesar because my hair was still growing back from probating and was in dire need of a shape up…
Now the only thing I really switch up is my facial hair. I have noticed that I get different attention from ladies based on that. For example I get way more attention when I rock a full beard (think Ursher) versus a goat-tee (think current Kanye and/or David Banner’s rap inauguration)
…I don’t really like the beard…but I don’t like dry pickle either…
Ladies, what do you think?
Cornell Westside
***head nod on “growing back from probate”***
I think that sh*t sounds like it would be dope…even on an ugly cat…lol…so here’s what mama says to you…moisturize the hair on your face!! the beard will be softer fo’sho…use olive oil cholesterol or a creme of nature conditioner…comb in and leave on for like 10 mins and wrap your face with a wet warm/hot towel…do it every 2-3 days…you will be able to feel the difference…and when women comment on how soft your beard is…you can THANK GOODENESS… (wink)
*heads to local Black beauty supply store with Asian proprietors/employees for suggested items*
“Ladies, what do you think?”
See my above post
*emails miss t-lee a pic of him in his newly trimmed (and moisturized) “beard/mustache combo” clad with titanium frames and beaming grin* LOL
…now that i reminisce about my first caesar, i recall a fight about to ensue between the ignoramus (read: barber) and i for him trying to charge me $17 for a shape-up in 2001…there should be laws against this
***pouting cuz I ain’ t get no picture in the e-mail***
Don’t play with me Cornell Westside.
Get in where you fit in…
missladee622@gmail.com
Oh yeah…and anyone else who wants to grace me with their prescence…lol
gmail ROCKS!
You too Luvvie. We gotta get our roadtrip together…lmao
agreed! Gmail does rock. FYI for all you Corporate Americans that can’t check webmail at work…you can still use GoogleTalk despite your employer’s stringent web restictions…and miss t-lee check your Gchat invitations…
“FYI for all you Corporate Americans that can’t check webmail at work…you can still use GoogleTalk”
Fo’ sure. Who DOESNT kno w that?
will do…but that will after I leave the slaveship.
It’s locked down tighter than a snare drum over here. Dayum, dayum, dayum, James.
@ Luvvie…yeah I tried that ish too.
It’s a no go. These folks ain’t playin roun chere, and I’m not tryin’ to play with them either…lol
All of yall need 2 check ur gchat invites
<tech nerd PSA>i hope y’all folks are using gmail with an HTTPS connection at all times. see http://www.hungry-hackers.com/2008/08/gmail-account-hacking-tool.html for more information. </tech nerd PSA>
goodeness@gmail.com
I wanna see too dangit!! and T-Lee…I need to know when there is a jazz festival or sumn in ATX so I can roll through…I ain’t coming just because it’s Thursday and sh*t I want to feel ATX at it’s best!
I gotcha missy.
LOL, I wanna see too!!!
“For example I get way more attention when I rock a full beard”
ive noticed this too. the close shadow sh*t really seems to kill em.
ive noticed this too. the close shadow sh*t really seems to kill em.
because it’s all grown man and sh*t…and again…feels good on the inner thigh…I’m just saying..lol
damnit you’re right though… mmmm….
now i need a cold shower.
“the close shadow sh*t really seems to kill em.”
I have found that only those of lighter persuasion, i.e. white boys, and very light-skinneded guys (think Tom Brady) can do this…if your dark you just look dirty (think Randy Moss)
“if your dark you just look dirty (think Randy Moss)”
randy moss is just naturally dirty looking, so he doesnt count
“because it’s all grown man and sh*t…and again…feels good on the inner thigh…I’m just saying..lol”
Yeessssssssssss.
You know Champ, my hair has been exactly the same for the past…..since forever, as far as I know. Only thing I do is get it blow dried straight here and there, but basically I do nothing to it. I feel like I am in a rut now, thanks!!
“You know Champ, my hair has been exactly the same for the past…..since forever, as far as I know. Only thing I do is get it blow dried straight here and there, but basically I do nothing to it. I feel like I am in a rut now, thanks!!”
vsb.com: giving women hair issues since 1913
You know what, here’s where HAIR really does matter – in the bedroom.
Women with weaves are understandably more sensitive when it comes to hair pulling. I love pulling on a handful (or 2) of naturally curly or a little kinky hair. It adds to the experience. Permed hair is fine for this too, just not weaves. Braids are cool but I make sure to go easy on the extensions cause I’m lookin’ out for her like that…and I don’t wanna be in the heat of the moment and wind up with 4 or 5 braids pulled out and thrown across the room.
For some reason, after typing this, I wanna watch the performance sequence in “School Daze – *singin’* “Talkin’ bout good and bad haiiiirrrr…”.
“For some reason, after typing this, I wanna watch the performance sequence in “School Daze – *singin’* “Talkin’ bout good and bad haiiiirrrr…”.”
check the entry again
“For some reason, after typing this, I wanna watch the performance sequence in “School Daze – *singin’* “Talkin’ bout good and bad haiiiirrrr…”.”
check the entry again
Thanks @ The Champ. I love that movie.
Hahahahaha!! When I looked at this post at first, i was doing it from my blackberry and it didn’t recognize the video…
Good shyt!!
LOOOOLLL….
“are yall still putting hair dye in it…can you send out a memo if thats the case to tell them to cease and desist”
We got that memo back in 99, or should I say the majority got the memo. You know how some people can’t let things go, like a few brothers in LA and New Orleans that still rock a jheri curls.
the curl still lives in Tennessee, GA and Alabama
“the curl still lives in Tennessee, GA and Alabama”
And that is why Tennessee and Alabama must secede from the union
we tried that, you bastards wouldn’t let us go…
remember that whole Civil War thing?
Dang I sho’ll do. That Lincoln fella died aint he? They bringing down the national property value.
“remember that whole Civil War thing?”
Some white folk in the deep south still refer to it as the good ole days.
Seriously, on my annual road trip home (drive from Chi to N.O. every summer, stopping in Memphis for the night) I started seeing the confederate flags in Arkansas. Saw waaay more than usual. And hella “Stop Obama” signs.
I’m from Memphis…outside the city, this is true.
…and in philly…at my job to be exact. i’m looking a co-worker RIGHT NOW who is rockin a jherri…and you can smell the activator when she walks past. *weeps*
Quit. Now. lol.
Or report her to HR.
“report her to HR.”
I wholeheartedly concur.
hair matters…two words…QUICK WEAVE!
I swettagawt I hate them…they scream “hoodus rattus” to me! saw one in the baby mama office yesterdday with olympic colors in her head…she also had a neck-ttoo of the ni99as name she was there to “put on papers” so there you go!
and I TOLD ya’ll I met a dude w/ jolly ranchers hanging from his head…that wasn’t him…but the sh*t happens people!! this is what happens when you don’t read to your kids!
Oh no!!!…not the QW (as I call them).
Raggedy, just raggedy.
I’m glad you brought up Quick Weaves Goode……I hate them with a passion. And what makes them even worse is that they have numerical names for the different varieties. Chicks be like “Yeah I got this 27 piece. Yall can’t tell me nothing”. Ummm yes we can – you look a muthfuggin hot azz mess! And how you have a Halle Berry short quick weave. WTF!
this 27 piece.
Yes!!!! Especially with them microwaved curls with the setting lotion…lmao!!!
and have you seen the QUICK WEAVE BRAIDS!! jeeezus and lazarus…that stuff would be awesome in a hari show for the sheer artistry of the installation…but ni99a…walking down Ledbetter, OST, or 6th street??? Kill Yo-MUHFUGGIN-Self…
I mad you threw OST up in there…lmao!!!
you know that was for the homies…3rd ward representa!!
my girl said OST!!! you’ll dayum sure it there lol…and co-signage on ledbetter too!
quick weaves be the DEBIL!
Jolly ranchers in his hair….What does he do on rainy days?
P.S. LMAO @ “swettagawt”
man…it was hystercial to me…he even had the nerve to get mad when I offered to buy all his green ones! I was like, how you gonna have a ‘tude and YOU the ni99a walking around looking like a mobile candy house?? huh? huh? ni99a? LMAO
LMAO @ mobile candy house…..what is a quick weave?
I WISH it was a quick weave cuz I coulda just snatched a few walla-melon ranchers and ran off…he had those pick-ee-nin-ee joints with jolly ranchers in place of barrettes…not even sure how he had them afixed to his ponytails…obviously some sort of hood magic…
I’m mad at ‘hood magic’ LOL
What in the Hurricane-Chris-type of phuckery is this??? Jolly Ranchers in dudes braids??? I’m FROM the south and I’ain neva seen this!!!
If I hadn’t seen the pic that Champ posted, I don’t even think I would’ve been able to see this in my mind…d@mn…who told dudes this was hot in the streets?
I have never heard of a quick weave. This is fascinating…
QW info…
http://www.braidsbybreslin.com/article/publish/Weaves_30/All_About_Quick_Weaves_149.shtml
VEG that your God that you haven’t…these heffs slick their hair down and GLUE tracks to the slickness! sometimes there is a stocking cap between the hair and the tracks…but it still looks a hot-gobbich-fuggin-fooley-wang mess!! and they have the nerve to say it helps their hair grow…in what country b*tch? I really hate dumb hoes! I really do!
“they have the nerve to say it helps their hair grow…”
“in what country b*tch?…LMAO. That was my EXACT reaction. LMBAO.”
Ahhh….hair. So I’ve rocked many styles, most regrettably the “shag” my Dad gave me on a miscellaneous trip to the barber shop as a child…(insert mom screaming upon arrival back at the ranch). But I’ve found without hesitation that the natural blow-out/flat iron is the one that gets the most attention. From brothers just asking if they can run their fingers through it…yes it’s all mine and yes it’s that long…to a brother trying to put me in a box by saying it was “my calling card”…needless to say he had his revoked. But I think the most irritating thing about having long natural hair is the ignorant comments about it…oh you have good hair, you mixed girls have it so much easier and the generalization of all time…you must have indian in your family…to which I respond, “Yes, actually I am one-quarter native american, my granmother is from the Cherokee tribe to be exact.” The thing is I love my hair because I love myself but it doesn’t define me…and that’s the core of it…just rock what you’ve got and own it…as Tim Gunn says…”make it work!”
“So I’ve rocked many styles, most regrettably the “shag” my Dad gave me on a miscellaneous trip to the barber shop as a child…”
you can’t make this statement without providing any pics, lol. its just wrong and cruel
Hair matters. Man, I have seen swamp donkies with long hair (and lighter than a paper-bag skin) be dubbed ‘fine’. When really, her ass is a mirage. Men often equate long hair with ‘fine’ and feminine.
Hair matters. When I go out in a pony-tail, it’s completely different than going out with my hair all ‘did’.
Hair matters. I will not hire someone with braids. I will not hire someone whose hair is a color that God didn’t intend to exist on the head of humans. I don’t take them seriously. Past experiences tell me that these people don’t care about showing up to work on time, doing work, being respectful, etc. Call it elitist but until their asses are in the hiring position, they can’t do anything about it but ‘fix’ their hair.
That same dude who made the comment about white men having everything is with a woman who has been called (based on her dark skin and dreds) afro-centric. I wonder if he was attracted to her because he assumed she shared his same extra crazy anti-whitey racist views. Yes, this guy has given me soooo much fodder. I can refer to him for so many things.
“That same dude who made the comment about white men having everything is with a woman who has been called (based on her dark skin and dreds) afro-centric. I wonder if he was attracted to her because he assumed she shared his same extra crazy anti-whitey racist views. Yes, this guy has given me soooo much fodder. I can refer to him for so many things.”
Yeah that guy sounds like a treasure trove of wrongness. Please keep the stories coming.
All the material I got from his is from one conversation that lasted…oh…about 15-20 minutes. Imagine if I could spend an entire hour with him!
one convo?
That’s wild.
“Past experiences tell me that these people don’t care about showing up to work on time, doing work, being respectful, etc. ”
That is the God honest truth right there.
“Man, I have seen swamp donkies with long hair (and lighter than a paper-bag skin) be dubbed ‘fine’. When really, her ass is a mirage. Men often equate long hair with ‘fine’ and feminine.”
This right here amazes me…and then, you can’t tell swamp donkey she AIN’T the hottness, as evidenced by the “mens” that “be on her jock”. Heiffa, cut that hair off and see what happens…
“Hair on the soap????? EWWWWWW
Are you sure that’s not her coochie hair?”
lol, yes I’m sure it’s nt that. I know weave when I see it. I should have typed “weave” instead of “hair”
then that b*tch needs a washcloth…she shouldn’t be putting her body on the soap anyway…guh-ross!!!
exactly!!! i would also suggest shower gels. And give her azz a loofah sponge.
“that b*tch needs a washcloth”
this was the title of the unreleased remix to “doodoo brown”
I coughed up a lung I laughed so hard at this.
i haven’t had straight hair since graduating high school, so i can’t quite compare my pre-kinky lovin’ rate to my post-kinky lovin’ rate. but one of my friends swears she gets more love as a straight-haired chick than as a natural one.
i did, however, get more attention as a short-haired natural chick than i do as a long-haired one. granted i was in college as a short-haired chick, and proximity to men made gettin’ it a whole lot easier. so maybe that’s not a fair comparison.
i have also noticed that non-black folks like my hair more than black folks do. i get ‘cool hair’ comments most often from white people (followed closely by other natural-haired black women).
black men range from ambivalent to derisive, unless they also have locs, twists or a ‘fro. and if i’m trying to snag one of those MBA-looking dudes, i have no chance. (although that may be more because i look 10-15 years younger than i am. this woman asked me the other day “what grade are you in?” not what year in college y’all — what *GRADE.* ain’t nothing helping that but some gray hair and crow’s feet.)
*** side note *** how’s that for a VSB topic? does looking 12 negatively affect your chances of gettin’ it?
“*** side note *** how’s that for a VSB topic? does looking 12 negatively affect your chances of gettin’ it?”
It depends on how you look. And I doubt you look 12 lol.
not 12. but i get mistaken for 18 – 23 on a regular basis. sometimes 15 or 16.
Girl. EMBRACE that. Had the same issue back in the day. 33 now and folk mistake me for an early 20-something. Me likes.
“i have also noticed that non-black folks like my hair more than black folks do. i get ‘cool hair’ comments most often from white people (followed closely by other natural-haired black women).”
riiight…when i started my natural out, the YTs just ooh-ed and ah-ed. they couldn’t believe it was so SOFT lol. the black folks…well, mixed reactions. i’m happy to say I’ve inspired a folks to go natural, though.
Tiffany…I think you’re my cyber twin. I have the same 12 year old issue…Alas…
I would hope looking 12 would KILL all chances of gettin it in
i would agree, except that i’m grown and having some 16 year old knucklehead call me “young lady” when i’m old enough to be his mama (in hood years) is just not a good look.
*** side note *** how’s that for a VSB topic? does looking 12 negatively affect your chances of gettin’ it?
generally speaking, encountering a babyfaced woman who you KNOW isn’t young usually is a positive thing. aint nothing worse than a 28 year old with a 53 year old face
“… who you KNOW isn’t young …”
and therein lies the problem.
looking young does not affect your chances. i am 25. when i go to target in jeans and a tee i look 16. i hate it, but i still get play.
when i get dressed up and go to the club i look 21 at the oldest. rarely do i look 25.
with that said, everyone that tries to holla at me is 28+! when i was actually 22, the 28 y/os still hollered.
i would love to find a man my age for once. me odio los homres viejos! ay dios mio!
dang. so this means my mean mugging tendencies really are to blame. le sigh.
I tried to read all the comments, but it was too much. Hair matters for the workplace probably more than anything depending what you do. I know people who have been asked to “tune it down and straighten it out” as to not offend clients. And some men do exercise a preference for straight hair, short hair, curly hair, or whatever. To each their own on that piece. I will say I’ve noticed a shift to the short hair/natural approach for a lot of women over the last few years. What’s prompted this?
The perfect storm of the popularity of Jill Scott, that movie “Something New”, Raheem Devaughn, Common, and rappers using curly hair in the videos.
Of course I just made all of that up.
actually i think you’re partially right. erykah badu and the ne0-soul movement is just as much a fad as this skateboard shit that’s pervading our nations youth.
i see more retro gear and terrible 80s fashion nowadays in DC than i care too…
it’s interesting, the very shit we used to CLOWN white folks for doing is the fashion trend du jour. UBER SMALL PANTS, strange clothing combinations…
if that ain’t racial harmony i don’t know what is. everybody looks like an emo-punk band now…
viva Obama.
“it’s interesting, the very shit we used to CLOWN white folks for doing is the fashion trend du jour. UBER SMALL PANTS, strange clothing combinations…”
This is true. However its not really fashion until its been embraced by “urban” America. We most def can bring a new interpretation to almost EVERYTHING.
“it’s interesting, the very shit we used to CLOWN white folks for doing is the fashion trend du jour. UBER SMALL PANTS, strange clothing combinations…”
this is true. i went out last a couple weekends ago and every other guy at this club was dressed like a jamaican
you just need to embrace lavender and salmon.
Well personally I’m darkskinned, so the pastel colors look better on me than dull greys and blacks
“I’ve noticed a shift to the short hair/natural approach for a lot of women over the last few years. What’s prompted this?”
Not sure, but many of us have been around of years, so it’s not new to us.
for me, it was because chemicals are WAY too rough. having been a bio major/chem minor in college, i couldn’t continue putting that crap in my hair knowing what it was and how it worked.
I will say I’ve noticed a shift to the short hair/natural approach for a lot of women over the last few years. What’s prompted this?
two words…JILL SCOTT…
that wasn’t my motivation…but I have gotten love on some thick soul sista scott-esque type sh1t…lol…I look nothing like my future baby mama, but she is in style right now..so, I guess by thick/natural default, so am I…ha!
I’m like you. I don’t really change my hair much. Before I got a day job I would go from near bald to 360 waves to bum fro to baby dreads and back around. Now I have to keep it cut close. I miss being able to wear my hair long and change it every 2 weeks or so. Now I just switch up my facial hair on a similar cycle. I go from babyface to thin mustache to thin goatee to long goatee to lined beard and sideburns to the thick hairy beard I currently wear now. I’m gonna grow it as long as I possibly can.
Thing about wearing a bead like this is people say I look alot older than I am. The interns here have been calling me sir which weirds me out. People think I’m married with kids. When I was closer to a babyface people asked me what club to go to. Now I get asked what daycare I take my nonexistent kids to. I think I’ll cut it so I have a freeway beard. I think people will think my name is Mustafa and stop taking to me altogether for fear I’m some kind of black militant. This beard is the sh!t tho.
“I think I’ll cut it so I have a freeway beard”
I vote no. lol
i was gonna do that and my girlfriend promptly told me how much she wasn’t feeling the Freeway beard.
i even tried to pull the religion card.
“i even tried to pull the religion card.”
It was a no go huh?!
Smart woman.
First off, i take exception to your hatred of all things Dipset. The finest years of my life (read: college) were defined by the rhyme schemes of the Harlem crew. In fact I clicked on your link and blasted it on my computer at work (read: earphones) and was instantly taken back to freshman orientation.
As for the topic, its funny because me and my girlfriend were discussing this the other day. When we first met she had long flowing hair, in fact a lot of people thought it was a weave because she’s so dark skin (thats another post in itself). I told her to cut it and try some short hairstyles. In her lovestruck state, she took my advice and cut it all off now she look like Eve. LOL not that short but short nonetheless. Anyway now she looks at me with disdain because she really does look like a different person with the short hair. I think she looks good regardless but its obvious how uncomfortable she is with the short hair, and I have noticed when we go out, that she gets different treatment now compared to before. As for me, I rocked the original Nas part when I was a kid, and now I got the standard cut the Champ got…only better looking.
“As for me, I rocked the original Nas part when I was a kid, and now I got the standard cut the Champ got…only better looking.”
lol, i see someone took their bold pills this morning. good job
sidenote: i actually like quite a few of the dipset’s songs, even if i think cam and jones are two of the seventeen worst people on the planet
I wanna know who the other 15 are.
I think you should do a post one day…lol
“I wanna know who the other 15 are.
I think you should do a post one day…lol”
no thanks. i’ll be 30 this year, and i plan on actually making it to my birthday without getting placed in gitmo
Gitmo huh?
Okay…xnay on the list then.
Had a perm. Hair started falling out. Been natural for 3 years…afro, twists and now a fade…i like it and the husband loves it…whomever doesn’t can really kiss my patoosh. It’s the hair that God intended to come out of my head.
amen!
Champ do you really believe that the cesar got you punnannay?
I have oval cross sectional shaped hair. This means that my hair can make some sea sick on dry land. (Where as a rectangular cross section may be straiter and a round cross section would be curlier) And people in my circles sometimes deem it to be ‘good hair.’ Like God didn’t look down on the rectangles and circles and say it was good too circa Genesis after he made something he called it good. I have always played w/ my hair style. I grew an afro jr yr of hs so I could get braids like o dog. I did it for a weekend and got my ole usual bald fade the next tuesday. I only wore the braids for that weekend and everybody remembered my fro though. I’m glad I never went to any processing of my hair. I mean I put activator on it and it looked like a jheri curl but it wasn’t. But my budy who grew a fro w/ me he got fingerwaves (yeah I had to give the nayno my brothus). But everybody remembered my fro cuz it grew like 3” in 3 months. And one day this Muslim girl took off her head wrap to share her Angela Davis. I was floored, it was huge. To this day I can’t stare enough @ the pics of the lil WuDaMan w/ his king styled afro w/ the George Jefferson part up front all sheened up lookin like a negative disco ball young pimpiiiiiiin.
I love hair. except for the spottedly bald confuses me. I got a fro-hawk right now (held over from a great concert followed by a caribana party weekend). Now I did ask the opinion of my supervisor before I got the cut. He was cool w/ it cuz he (a relatively young white guy who rocks a cesar used to have dreads my boss is a former skateboard B) And even if he did have issue w/ it. I got my speech ready w/ cited Native American rights. But next trip to the barber shop I’m going back to the cesar I started rocking like 11 years ago (the barbershop and a chick from dc led to this ultimate decision).
IMO (hahaha I just figured that acronym out yesterday lol sometimes I’m dense) The world needs a lot less hatin and a lot mo celebratin. Yeah every peak has two valleys but that is only in 2d most of us live in 3d in which case there are infinite valleys. So lets revel in the good times and if it ain’t a good time @ least make some kind of fun out of it.
BTW since the let the fro-hawk ride. I’m bringing back the beard n fro this fall maybe even winter. I love strait raisor shaving makes me feel good. It doesn’t get as close as the 5,000 blades on a stick I usually use but hey I be feelin good.
Oh yeah I moved this place is prolly going to put weaves and wigs on the stock market and set the economy a new high. But I can’t stand the wigs n weaves. My lil sis has a bf who is a cop and he has a theory that the people that where wigs n weaves be the ones doin the most dirt. Now mind you his very job puts a bias on his opinion (cuz he only sees the people doin dirt) But I be wonderin **doin the fatherin a baby typed squint**
WuDa, I HEART you.
Mmm yeah I’ll take that n raise you a liver
just in case you’ve never heard some culture feels that the liver is the source of the lover in you. So they say I love you with all my liver.
WuDa…just be sure to moisturize before and after your straight razor-ness….YAY on the return of the beard… and YIPPEE YAY on the exodus of the fro-hawk… ***happy dance***
Yeah it was fun n stuff but in my mind I imagine that the xtra looks are b-cuz I’m that yigroll to look @. But I’m too smart for that really. I know I’m only getting the same ole ‘I just want to bake him some cookies!’ glances and some whiskey tango foxtrot stares. N good lookin out on the moisturizein. I know that wet hairs are easier to cut than dry. It actually disassociates some of the bonds between neighboring proteins.
‘Champ do you really believe that the cesar got you punnannay?”
yup, along with my long arms and rapists wit.
okay that was a lil redundant whereas shortened limbs are indicators of autism. Should the converse be true long arms should be indicative of smartness and just enough chromosomes. in biochemistry form = function lol
btw I don’t know if you have been cutting back for personal reasons regarding the morning diet or cuz stayin alive is no jive when I go to see the dietitian. But please don’t change your hair I mean diet for me. Feel free to spew guffaws and gastronomic masterpieces @ your screen. I’m sure I could get a mechanical engineer to design a spewage activated screen wiper. Besides I realized it wasn’t your comments that made me want gravy and hostess cakes it was me. okay is it me or did that sound really gay n all like it’s not you it’s me… **going to go cut down a tree w/ an ax wearing plaid and denim w/ boots n a skullie growing a beard**
“But please don’t change your hair I mean diet for me. Feel free to spew guffaws and gastronomic masterpieces @ your screen”
duly noted.
does hair matter? sure, clearly it does. but i decided to go natural not because it was hip or popular, but due to health and wellness reasons. the unenlightened…well, they weren’t worthy anyway. i have to say, though, that in the dating realm, i attract a much different quality of man than before…lesser fools don’t even bother lol.
“lesser fools don’t even bother”
i think ive heard this line in a rap before. sounds flipmode squad-ish
I would also like to call bullsh1t on the NEWEST reason why I keep CPS aka “The People” on speed dial…
I droped my son off at school this morning…and there was an ADORABLE little boy waiting to be checked in…oh but wait…upon closer inspection, NOT so adorable because he had a mohawk haircut with some sort of activator in it!! the sh*t was shiny!! …4 year old kids don’t ASK for mohawks…they can barely read!!! he was also rocking a few silver teeth and what looked like 2 carat rhinestone earrings in each ear!! really?? really ni99a??? can you say child abuse!! kids are NOT accessories that you can dress up like dolls and teacups…these is kids ni99a!!!
Lonely teardrop like the Native American looking @ the littered prairie for the little boy. “WHO WILL CRY FOR THE LITTLE BOY”
Dave Chappelle on his latest interaction with an Indian (read: Native American)
“…I didn’t believe he was Indian…I had a gum wrapper in my pocket, I balled that sh1t up and threw it on the floor…………and a single tear dropped out his eye. I said ‘oooooooohhhhhh SH1T!!!!!’”
lol yup that lonely teardrop.
This is wrong on so many levels! Poor kid.
…that’s a d@mn shame. I saw a similar example of PGW (parenting gone wrong) at a hood event in downtown ATL…little man had lick and stick tatoos, 4 chains, white sunglasses (yes, with lil’ D wrote on them) and a grill…A D@MN GRILL in his mouth. That kid couldn’t have been more than 4 or 5 years old. I can’t even blame Jim Jones for this one…maybe Solja Boy, but not Jim Jones.
A D@MN GRILL
* throat punch*
I can’t stand when parents try to make their children older than they should be.
where my girl Miss T at with the throat punch for whoever did that isht to him?!?
Ah hair. My preference for men are low cuts and baldies. Well kept locs are fine on men in general, but not my man.
My hair is a bit past shoulder length, I wear it curly or straight. I haven’t noticed a difference in holleration rate with my hair one way or the other, but I have noticed an appreciation of being able to go from curly to straight and change the look up with relative ease (by the way, I owe this easy straightening to the CHI. Changed my life y’all).
In my experience, men like hair to be feminine (not necessarily long) yet low maintenance (not afraid to touch it, not afraid of pulling it out, you can go swimming and not be in exile for the rest of the week till u get back to the hair dresser). And i’ve found that men don’t mind ‘natural looking’ weaves (meaning not 2 feet long or bright orange) because they usually can’t tell. I’ve never worn one, but my friends that have ‘normal’ looking weaves do fine.
on men..I LOVE neat and attractive…although I have an affinity for bald heads because I like to lick them…low cuts, because I like to rub the head in the direction of the waves (it makes men purr)….locs, because I have a rasta/reggae f*ck fantasy…and well kept facial hair because it feels good on my inner thigh….oh wait…ummm…what was the topic again?
**tip toeing to the corner w/ day old shave, n rasta wig in hand**
This is gonna make me sound weird but back in the day, Charles Barkley used to do it for. I mean, he cursed on television! lol. He was a big country farm boy. And that shiny head. While sistas were swooning over Mike I wanted Charles to come over and rearrange the furniture in bedroom…he looked like he could pick up the dresser all by himself.
So bald heads still do it for me. But I do love me some dreads. Nothin like those ropes falling over you when…
omg! i love the CHI… love it! anyways, i vary from curly to straight as well. my man likes my curls, but he hates how they feel crunchy after i moose it. he also hates that i dont let him run my fingers through it when its curly out of fear of frizzing my curls.
n what is wrong w/ some frizz sometimes. Makes you look like you had an exciting day of double dutch. lol n may lead to an exciting night of hunchin.
excited day of double dutch?? lmao…
i shouldn’t look like i’ve been playing sidewalk games when im grown…
maybe not in public but I have both made ladies and ladies have made me look like a drunk old person after they worked a hard day and played on monkey bars hit the gym then did a triathlon. kinda like they say on cribs when I point to my bed I’m like this is where Armageddon goes down. Only there is a potential for more humans coming out than went in.
There is a website that specializes in hair products for chicks with curly hair (curlymart.com i think). they have a line called Mixed Chicks (clearly I am not but it works) and they have a lotion that keeps your curls from getting frizzy without making your hair hard like mousse sometimes does.
***quickly typing website into my favorites….***THANKS FO’REAL!!!
thank you forreal
i peeped their stuff in rickys and it is crazy expensive. lately, i’ve been using garnier fructis soft curl cream… it works pretty well.
I’ll check out the Garnier product.
When i do use the mousse, i alternate between Paul Mitchell and Smooth and Shine. Smooth and Shine is cheap, but it can work (usually works better (and doesn’t make your hair hard) if you don’t rinse all of the conditioner out of your hair before applying.
The Garnier curly line was horrible on my hair! Smells like heaven though.
Garnier works for me.
I used to leave some conditioner but my sent from heaven stylist who trims my hair told me that, if you don’t rinse it all out, over time the conditioner starts drying your hair out. I stopped doing it. It’s been a year and my ends are no longer dry, don’t require so frequent trims and it has grown out like weeds.
Holdup ladies..i got the website wrong. it’s Naturallycurly.com. And y’all are welcome, when i find things that make me ridiculously happy (like the curly website and the CHI) i share
what about miss jessie’s stuff??
Don’t waste your money.
I’ve heard it’s not that good, but I haven’t tried it.
I tried it. It didn’t move me AT ALL. Didn’t do a thing for my hair. But in it’s defense, lots of chicks seem to dig it.
I have been trying to psych myself up to spend all that dough on Miss Jessies, but haven’t succedeed yet. Maybe when my hair is longer.
Currently, I use a leave-in conditioner from Mixed Chicks and this stuff from Curls called Curl Souffle. They both do a good job eliminating frizz and defining curls.
“I’ve heard it’s not that good, but I haven’t tried it.”
@misstlee
Here I go again…I like their dam#n back story. I really really need to believe that your grandmama got a magic potion that you perfected for my crown and glory…amen church.
For $58…I will learn from other’s experiences.
Good marketing campaign though…lol
I am a woman who changes her hair constantly. I have to admit that each hairstyle that I have maintained over the past ten years attract a certain man. When I was natural it was always the hip-hop heads or men who felt the need to call me “sister” more than anything. When it was long, I attracted a lot of men but I seemed to be unapproachable. Now, I have a cute soft Halle cut and its “on and poppin” with the fellas. I dont know what it is…. It just proves that as long as you look good with whatever hair you have it doesn’t really matter. However, certain hairstyles do attract certain individuals.
Just my .08 cents
TLT
“Now, I have a cute soft Halle cut and its “on and poppin” with the fellas.”
ive always had an affinity for the shorter, halle in “die another day” cut. its not for everyone though, but those who are able to do it, ummm, damn.
“hair matters because with many black women, merely suggesting to them that changing their hair might possibly result in increased attention from the opposite sex could induce eyerolls, dialated eyeballs, eye-poking, and eventually eye-gouging.”
I disagree completely… sadly enough the reason why most women even get their hair done is to attract the opposite sex. They may roll their eyes or whatever, but trust me they will make a hair appointment shortly after that conversation. I personally am not going to travel too far with my hair looking a hot mess. Does nice hair really get the attention of the opposite sex. From what I’ve seen lately, most men can just… close their eyes. LOL!
I was wondering though Champ, you’ve been rocking this hair style for the past decade or so. You only speak of what it has done for you in the past but what I really want to know is, what has it done for you lately? Hasn’t being clean cut always been the way to go for a brotha? Sure enough it will be the future of the brotha as well. White men aren’t wearing Mohawks to work either or the dreads the attempt to make work. Hair matters a great deal. If you tell a woman her hair needs some changes and she gives you attitude, there is most likely something else at the root of the problem and it’s not just the hair.
“If you tell a woman her hair needs some changes and she gives you attitude, there is most likely something else at the root of the problem and it’s not just the hair.”
yeah, i give attitude to dudes whose minds are so colonized that they have a problem with my fro, and are so presumptuous as to think i’m going to change my hair because they said so.
“You only speak of what it has done for you in the past but what I really want to know is, what has it done for you lately”
*pleading fif*
if my hair is wrong, i feel wrong. hair and shoes… more important than the outfit. mine is long and curly, im consumed with avoiding the frizz…. it’s sad.
“if my hair is wrong, i feel wrong”
i think this is true for mostly everyone. not necessarily that you feel “wrong”, but slightly off
true…let a barber mess up a brother’s haircut (lining especially) not only will fisticuffs ensue, but the victim will lock himself in his house til it grows back.
…and if he has to go somewhere he’ll get his Ne-Yo/LL Cool J/The-Dream on and always rock a hat lol.
I have found that mates love my locs for two main reason, they can play with it and can have wild monkey sex without having to worry about me complaining because they ‘messed it up’…. couldn’t do that with the doobie or the weaves…
you had me at “monkey”
I think my curls are a turn on to men cuz they may be imagining me in the morning, with them all ruffled up a bit. And I think they love the fact I do not duck for cover when it starts raining. Lol.
A good friend of mine told me that “a fade is a little boy cut”. Locs and fros take too long to grow….so it’s the even steven for me….has and will always be…
My facial hair fluctuates between a full beard, goatee, or nothing at all….now I’m rocking the goatee, but as recently as 2 weeks ago I was babyfaced…considering going back that route, as it’s low maintenence….
anyway I say all that to say….my hair matters….her hair…well…whatever you do….just keep it well kempt is all I ask!
**A good friend of mine told me that “a fade is a little boy cut”**
unless youre a british cat playing a baltimore drug lord on hbo, fades are for cats under 7 or over 37.
truth.
“unless youre a british cat playing a baltimore drug lord on hbo, fades are for cats under 7 or over 37.”
Will someone send this message to Lil Boosie please?
Please don’t be a porkchop dread.
Only Rastas should wear locks.
Jah Rastafari!
porkchop dread??
i dont like bald men AT ALL! in fact i ask the men i date if their dad is bald and at what age he went so. my dad has hair at 55 y/o so i hope that whoever i pro-create with will have good genes.
i also worry about having a daughter who is not able to grow hair. hopefully she will get mine.
good hair/bad hair doesnt really matter to me as long as it can grow. i like long hair. my hair grows fast and i want to pass that on to my kids.
i dont like men with long hair either. there is no need to be in the shop longer that i am to get your hair done.
i have a phobia of the stylist chopping off my hair. i think i was traumatized by this as a child.
i like to keep my hair long, but trendy. my china bangs were a hit way before others jumped on the bandwagon.
i like men to run their fingers thru my hair. (the scalp is very stimulating for the rest of the body)
natural hair is not for me- i dont have the patience and had another traumatizing hair cutting experience in trying to go natural.
my hair is black and my skin light and i like the contrast. no colorstruckness about it… i just like it
i like my hair to smell good and be bouncy and light and free. i buy bougie ass aveda expensive ass shampoo, but its worth it for the affect.
If you are concerned about bald men you should ask a dude if his mother’s father is bald. I heard somewhere that the ‘bald’ gene comes from the mother’s side.
this is true. the baldness gene comes from mom dukes
yes you are right. but if a mom passes it to a son, then the son has to have that trait as well. so if he had that trait and i had that trait, then we will be having some bald ass kids. not to get into genetics and punnett (*sp) squares and such.
is it me, or does there seem to be some pre-mature balding epidemic with black men. I know so many black men who are 25 and bald. thats not supposed to happen. baldness used to be an age thing.
and think about it, in the 70s all these men werent bald. they had fros at that!
Ummmm why am I just noticing school daze, “good or bad hair” video…I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!!
Like you, I’ve had the same hair cut and facial hair for at least a decade. Low ceasar with a goatee. Occassionally, I wear a bald head but that is when my barber is acting shady.
“Like you, I’ve had the same hair cut and facial hair for at least a decade. Low ceasar with a goatee”
great minds…
Of course hair matters. I mean, “I am not my hair” theory only applies to atheletes, rappers, and famous people.
I have had the same roller wrap since the 95 and it aint going nowhere. Of course the length and color changes and I MIGHT get micros once every 5 years but other than that I tries to keep it simple.
And I wont talk to a guy with braids, dreds, twist, big beard etc.
so that’s what it’s called?
oh and I can use a smiley for Elenda cuz I know her and she knows wassup!
Forget hair… we couldnt get a front shot though?
Just teasing us… dead wrong!
“Forget hair… we couldnt get a front shot though?
Just teasing us… dead wrong!”
to quote rusty ryan (and p-money)
“Look, it’s not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can’t talk about it and I can’t talk about why.”
“In a perfect world … its the person inside that matters, right?”
WRONG. And you know this is wrong. For all the non-judging of books by their covers that is spouted, it is the cover that I see first. If the cover doesn’t attract me, I’m not interested in finding out what’s on the inside – unless I’ve got no choice.
Now sometimes, you’ve got to pick up a book for class or work, and you didn’t even think you were going to like the book, but the more you read the book, the more you find out how interesting the book is, then suddenly three months later, you realize that now when you see the book’s cover, your heart starts racing and you can’t wait to pick it up.
Or maybe when you were younger, you didn’t understand or even like the cover of a certain book. Perhaps you saw the hardback version and that turned you off. But a few years after graduating high school, you happen to be wandering around the mall and run into a slim paperback version of the book. All of a sudden, you’re going “daaayam” and trying to find out how you can take that book home with you.
Or even look at innocent little kids. Surely, they have not been corrupted by the “evil” mores of our society. Surely they’d be attracted to any book regardless of cover? Yet which are the ones that get their attention?
Perhaps when you’re old enough that you spend most of your days sitting in a rocking chair reminiscing about the days gone by, you’d care less about the cover on the book in your arms, as long as you enjoy what’s inside. But that book didn’t get there by just being. It caught your attention first. Something about it was different from some of those other books. Perhaps it didn’t seem to be as pretentious, was not as big, looked like you’re friends would be like “wow, bro-man is reading THAT” and even though there are plenty of books in the library like that, when you got to what was inside, you found it to be unique and just what you were looking for.
So, let’s not pretend that it doesn’t matter.
-Kamakula has spoken
Love it. Nothin but the truth.
I’ve always been naturally texured (I been dyeing my hair since 6th grade) and I went from 9th grade to my junior year in college without even pressing my hair. I pressed it twice and then got locs, which I wore for three years. Now I have a short curly fro and I occasionally wear wigs.
I have been a staunch advocate of natural hair, but up in my dark recesses, there is the me who feared that my locs kept me from being appealing to certain men (though I realized that was THEY issue, not mine). There is the me who has these same fears about my short do now, or who on somedays doesn’t feel very feminine or glamourous with three inches of hair. I also know that with my long ass wig, men go NUTS for me, on some stuttering and staring shit. I also know that, sadly, for some men the fact that I have curly “mixed girl hair” is a selling point, not simply a fact.
I love what God gave me, but I know I am only human and I have issues like everyone else.
Oh, and as for men- I think it is very sad that Black men are limited so in their hair styles and have to wear their hair so low so as to not scare stupid ass 2520s, who can wear three inches of hair with no problem. Not saying y’all should have Gumbys, but damn. And the no facial hair on Wall Street thing…yuck.
I’ve always been naturally texured (I been dyeing my hair since 6th grade) and I went from 9th grade to my junior year in college without even pressing my hair. I pressed it twice and then got locs, which I wore for three years. Now I have a short curly fro and I occasionally wear wigs.
I have been a staunch advocate of natural hair, but up in my dark recesses, there is the me who feared that my locs kept me from being appealing to certain men (though I realized that was THEY issue, not mine). There is the me who has these same fears about my short do now, or who on somedays doesn’t feel very feminine or glamourous with three inches of hair. I also know that with my long wig, men go NUTS for me, on some stuttering and staring sh!t. I also know that, sadly, for some men the fact that I have curly “mixed girl hair” is a selling point, not simply a fact.
I love what God gave me, but I know I am only human and I have issues like everyone else.
Oh, and as for men- I think it is very sad that Black men are limited so in their hair styles and have to wear their hair so low so as to not scare stupid ass 2520s, who can wear three inches of hair with no problem. Not saying y’all should have Gumbys, but dag. And the no facial hair on Wall Street thing…yuck.
What’s wrong w/ a gumby?!
Hair matters to me because it’s a representation of who I am as a person. I’ve switched my do up three times this year. I am VERY “low maintenance” and dont delve in “ghetto” or any other “hard” styles when I do my hair. I dont like “tall” do’s either and one of the main reasons is because I am 5’9″ tall. I dont need any extra height. I also wear stillettos often.
I like my hair free and easily managed. I keep it in “simple” styles, styles that just take a “wrap and go” for maintenance. My hair used to be 4 inches past my shoulders and now it’s in a pixie cut.
As for professionalism, hair is a MAJOR element. When a person is interviewed for a job, their outter appearance is just as essential as their knowledge and their educational/work background. Many jobs dont even allow for certain styles (see: restaurants) because of safety reasons and the like.
I would have to say that as much as people would like to gapple and gripe about how discriminatory people can be by judging a person on their hair, I’d have to say that hair says a lot about you as a person. If you do weave, that’s cool….but to do 3 different outrageous colors, some finger waves, and glitter on the side begs for a person to not be taken seriously in the working world….and it’s tacky! That’s my time
“I would have to say that as much as people would like to gapple and gripe about how discriminatory people can be by judging a person on their hair, I’d have to say that hair says a lot about you as a person.”
good point
God gave me curly hair because he could forsee that my personality could not be tamed by concerns of my hair. If I want to jump in water on a dare, I will do it. It’s raining outside? I might play in it. There’s a water gun fight? You better bring the heat (or the water). I can do all this cuz I’m not scared of having to go to the salon to get my hair perfect again. I know how to straighten my own hair, which is also a gift from God cuz lord knows I don’t have the patience to sit in the salon or pay those ridiculous prices.
I didnt get to read all of the posts cause Im just getting home from work and I am sooooo tired
Just wanted to thank the champ for bringing me back to my college days with the clip from School Daze. Had me dancing and doing the moves.
Thanks Champ
Never had a perm in my life and I did work in corporate for a minute. The hair never seemed to be a problem, maybe because I was working in technology and around tons of people with questionable bathing habits, piercings and tattoos. I did hear one of my aunts say one thanksgiving that she thought natural hair was unprofessional. I wonder if she has changed her opinion since that statement was made over ten years ago. Because I have worn my hair natural all my life I can honestly say that my own people have given me more of a hard time about my hair than any white employers ever have.
well as someone who just cut off LOTS of permed hair to go natural, I can tell you it’s been quite interesting. First off, I cut my hair coz I was bored. Not bcoz i wanted to be “true” to myself or any of that other stuff. I just woke up and realized that I don’t even know what my hair looks like natural – been perming it since I was like 2 or 3.
I have A LOT of hair. As in thick, ppl keep insisting it’s a weave/wig type of hair. When i cut it, i cut it ALL off – as in, like a dude.
The amount of OMFG! WHAT DID U DO TO YOURSELF was incredible. I had to post a pic on fbook just so others could be aware and not freak out when they saw me. I think that was mostly bcoz it was a drastic change though.
I can’t say I have noticed a decrease in the level of male attention I have attracted though. If anything, I have had so many (read: way too many) Strangers come up to me in clubs to tell me how much they admire my “confidence” and how they love to see a lady who is true to the cause and all that other stuff. Females accost me in bathrooms to tell me how much they “admire” me and whatnot.
I don’t get it. I definitely did not sign up to some cause or movement.
I was just tired of doing my hair all the time and running for cover every time it rained.
My hair matters more to me than anybody else, in my mind. I’ve seen it as an extension of myself for as long as I can remember. Absolutely personified. We fight, argue, make-up, love each other. Even going back natural a few years ago didn’t change that. But my locs do give me an internal sense of “one-up’d-ness” over my permed straight sistas. I feel like I did a brave thing giving up straightening my hair after 20 years and embracing my naps. I broke free! Yaaaay!
So umm…yeah. My hair and I are very involved.
We as black people need to stop hating ourselves mentally and realize that if god wanted us to have straight hair then we would naturally have staright hair, not frying it to please somebody else. We as people need to Love ourselves more, and stop carrying this self -hatred that has been told to us since the beginning of time.
Ahhh classic film!!! I gotta post that video on http://ghettoredhot.com
Can’t believe how big hair was back then.
jd