Guys, Here’s Why You Need To Make Your Own Damn Plate At Thanksgiving Dinner » VSB

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Guys, Here’s Why You Need To Make Your Own Damn Plate At Thanksgiving Dinner

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The conversation over whether or not a woman should prepare her man’s plate has become somewhat of a Thanksgiving tradition on social media and I’m dumbfounded as to why or how we even got here. Every time I see it, I’m tempted to log off — mostly because of the people who are so pro-plate.

Maybe it’s because I wasn’t raised in the South (the hemisphere where a lot of people I refer to as platers seem to dwell) or it was because I was raised by a man who was adamant that I never make a woman wait on me hand and foot. Whatever it is, I can’t for the life of me understand how this became another thing a woman has to do for her man. There are a lot of traditions I’ve heard women should uphold like cooking and cleaning, and even those weren’t so much requirements as they were preferences. All I’ve ever really wanted a woman to do is woman-stuff: Be my wife, have my babies, breastfeed them. You know, shit I can’t do myself.

Making a man a plate seems like a rule that came out of the stone age and when I think about it, that seems to be the only time this rule made sense. Since the only way a family could eat in those B.C. days was by a man going out in the wilderness and hunting that night’s dinner, of course it made sense for a woman to make him a plate. But I haven’t seen a spear outside of a museum so I don’t know why we’re still asking women to treat us like cavemen.

I have compiled a small list of why men can and should make their own plate. Originally it was going to be a long list, but the more I thought about all the arguments a person could have on behalf of platers the more I got dizzy from shaking my head at such absurdity. So, here it is, four very simple reasons you should make your damn plate.

1. It’s not that hard

Have you ever fixed yourself a plate of food? Since most people reading this post are over the age of eight, I’m going to assume you have. Now do you ever remember it being difficult? Me neither, so why the hell would I act like I need someone else to do this task for me?

2. Portion control

One thing that annoys my girlfriend is how much food I always take for myself at gatherings. She thinks I’m greedy, when I’m really just hungry, so to avoid an argument, I serve myself. I’d rather get my own plate that is 90 percent meat than ask her to make me a plate and get well-balanced proportions that I never asked for.

3. You didn’t cook

In my household, I can never recall the men cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I’m not saying this is how it is supposed to be. For a couple of years my boys and I did a Friendsgiving in which all of the fellas cooked dishes, so I actually have no problems cooking, but I also have no problems not cooking Thanksgiving dinner. So if my lady has spent all day in the kitchen, roasting, basting, chopping and slicing, why would she need to prepare the plate too? She did all of the heavy lifting, the actual cooking. All I have to do is eat the food and the only thing easier than that is taking a nap after I’m done.

4. It’s a damn plate…a plate.

The gesture is a sweet one, and I get it, but it’s also a drop in the bucket of grease we use for fried turkey. It doesn’t demonstrate any kind of qualities that will make us decide whether or not we want to marry the woman and if it does, you need to see if they’re serving standards at your family meal and cover your plate in them. Let’s stop acting like women need to do this menial task if they want to get chose, like we don’t already know, long before the mac n’ cheese is done, whether we’re going to be with her for the long run or not. If she does it, that doesn’t mean she’s marriage material. Hell it doesn’t even mean she wants to marry you. If a woman fixes you a plate, it’s probably because she just wanted to be nice, and if she didn’t fix you a plate let it be because you know you’re capable of doing this your damn self.

Jozen Cummings

Jozen Cummings is the author and creator of the popular relationship blog Until I Get Married, which is currently in development for a television series with Warner Bros. He hosts a weekly podcast with WNYC about Empire called the Empire Afterparty and he works at Twitter as an editorial associate. He lives in Harlem, graduated from Howard University, and grew up in Seaside, California. He cannot get you a blue check.

  • Tierra

    The only time I was pro-plate was in the case of a boyfriend who did not understand portions and literally ate himself sick at nearly every family function we attended together. I got tired of nursing his food babies, so I’d make a perfectly portioned plate, sit it in front of him, and advise him that if he was still hungry after he finished it I’d make him another, but only after he finished it. Needless to say, I felt like somebody’s mama. We didn’t last long.

    • Jennifer

      Hahahaha!

    • QuirlyGirly

      That is like a child. Ain’t nobody got time for all that.

      • you will occasionally if you not ashamed to show you honor, love, and care for him just like he will make it his business to do things for you out of love, honor or just to please you, in the winter time I get up and warm up my wife car for her and if it snows I clean the windshield off so she can have a warm car to drive to work [once I started it if I don’t she will give me a hint] and I do it with pleasure, in the spring time I plant her a small vegetable garden because I know she love to eat fresh vegetable and share so with her co workers I do it with pleasure because I know it pleases her [if I get slack I will get a hint] we don’t have to do these things be we do them because it pleases us to please our spouse. you get my point.

    • Guest

      An animal can control how much it ingests. Sounds like he has some kind of eating disorder.

    • but seriously most women who fix a man plate do it because she want to fix his plate, some out of honor just like men do certain thing for women out of honor.

  • Jennifer

    Nice VSB treat on this holiday.

    As I await the arrival of guest at my mother’s house, I am thankful no plates need to be made except my auntie’s — and she gets a pass for being old and raising me.

    Happy 75 degree Thanksgiving from H-town!

    • QuirlyGirly

      It was like 60 degrees here in NY. It felt awesome.

  • she

    The fact that you make a plate with 90 percent meat is the ONLY reason why us women fix the men’s plates in our family. Y’all hella inconsiderate yo! Packing your plate with Mac and cheese and yams, and leaving the unwanted sides for the rest of us. Go sit down and wait for your plate with the children!

    • Nick Peters

      Nah….nigg*s get food 1st

      • Vanity in Peril

        Because….?

        • Nick Peters

          Life…

        • Nick Peters

          Because n*gga

    • J2daT

      (thud)……….*passed OUT* I’m LOL cause you’re right

  • FrankiSideEye

    I don’t think I’ve ever even considered making a plate for anyone who wasn’t my grandmother or some other elderly family member/family friend. You’re not elderly or movement impaired? Get your butt up and get in line like everybody else – I’m too busy worrying about how much stuffing I can take before folks start talking about my greedy behind to think about feeding you.

  • Qris_10

    God bless you Jozen. God bless, and Happy Thanksgiving to a man that clearly is self-sufficient, and independent, and whose manhood isn’t so fragile and delicate that it completely shatters if a woman doesn’t make his plate (or cook or clean or be a clone of his mama). Bravo Sir

    • I suppose my manhood is Ford Tough at this point. LOL Heck, I always fix my own plates unless someone makes a point to say that I can’t.

      • Jennifer

        You got that American-made manhood.

        • I’m not sure if this is a compliment or a diss. You tell me.

          • Jennifer

            Compliment. Of course, I truly know nothing of your manhood, Todd. You are just an online character who entertains me on the regular.

  • -h.h.h.-

    http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/trmp1.gif

    http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/hsop.gif

    y’all leave my plate to my own devices, i’m overloading on everything and i’m leaving y’all with dry turkey and that canned sliced cranberry jello concoction.

    • cakes_and_pies

      And that’s why my cousin almost got a palm to the chin for eating up all our Grandmother’s dressing when I only got a spoonful. Y’all need supervised plates.

      • Nick Peters

        And who is making these supervised plates?

        • cakes_and_pies

          I make supervised plates. I can’t have you meeting my family the taking undesignated/unearned portions of food.

          • Nick Peters

            I am a guest…whatever happened to hospitality

            • cakes_and_pies

              It’s Southern Hospitality. It’s also called not getting a throat chop for eating all the meat.

              • SLUGG0

                We don’t do turkey.

                • cakes_and_pies

                  Ain’t no chicken McNuggets and Puddings Pops around my parts around for Thanksgiving, bih.

    • Marcie

      The Trump gif gets me everytime! lmao

    • You could learn to make cranberry sauce from scratch. Jussayin’. And I blessed you guys with a turkey recipe on the last post.

      You’re welcome.

      • Epsilonicus

        I like the can stuff better

  • Furious Styles

    I’m from Cali and had an ex from the south. I went to a Christmas gathering among her friends (also) from the south. I freaked out inside when I tried to fix my own plate and had to be told why I couldnt. Gender roles are not a game in the south.

    • Overtymer Adio

      I am from Texas and one of my exes is from southern Cali. She invited me to a wedding and then the reception. At the reception her friends not only not ask what I wanted on my plate, but placed an order for me to get for them. I soon learned them that I was from Texas and if anyone was fixing anyone’s plate, it would be them fixing mine, not the other way around.

      • Furious Styles

        Wow. It’s like an exchange program where nobody went to orientation.

        • Overtymer Adio

          That is how wildly different cultures can be in spite being in the same country or being the same race. But for me I realized that the south, north, east and west all have different attitudes in regards to many things when it comes to men women’s stuff.

  • Lisss

    Why do i feel as if the platers are possibly part of the Hotep family? It sounds like some sh*t they would have in common.

    • cakes_and_pies

      H E L L TO THE NAW.

      • Lisss

        Hahahaha why? Its a valid observation. “Im a black king and back in Africa, queens served their kings” etc…

        • cakes_and_pies

          Gross. It’s just common Southern hospitality. I’ve never felt forced or felt the need to fix his plate, and I’m obliged the same by men who cook or invite me to cookouts as well. My womb ain’t no portal to repopulate the “Motherland” and them hoteps can scratch off too.

          • -h.h.h.-

            #GodBlessTheGRITS

          • MsSula

            What she says. Even if I am not a GRITS, as a WARG (West Africa Raised Girl), I approve this message.

          • If plate fixing is a Southern Hospitality thing, this is how I’m rolling in my life:
            https://uploads.thealternativepress.com/uploads/photos/0c/best_b04ca3a19ebc995f3dc9_bc67a17a29b6e782b880_image.jpeg

            • It’s also Caribbean, isn’t it?

              • This is true. However West Indian traditions make Southerners look like libertines. LOL

                • I am aware ??

                  • I have a funny story in that vein. I remember when I visited Barbados earlier this year, and I was in the club. The way the women dressed for the club was interesting. The dresses were revealing in the most conservative way possible. It was like they held a meeting to determine the proper amount of hemlines and tightness to be “sexy” and they all stuck to the script. My brother and I ended up flirting with fellow Bajan diasporans. LOL

              • <<–Jamaican. Know of no such Caribbean tradition.

            • cakes_and_pies

              Are you saying that’s a bad thing? Weren’t you just complaining about women never making you a plate last week in Ag’s post?

              • No I am not saying it’s a bad thing. I’m just accurately reporting my current circumstances.

  • Brooklyn_Bruin

    Turkey too dry. Trash meat?
    No more plate making?

    This is clearly the work of the devil.

    Get behind me Trump

  • Guest

    So by the logic of this article you should never open a door for a woman, because ya know, she should open her own damn door…. ?

    • [Insert Creative Name Here]

      Actually, by the logic of this article, if the man constructed the building, the door frame, installed the hinges and the door the same day as the woman wants to walk through the door, then at that point, she can open it herself.

    • Guest

      You have the decision not to open the door. But that won’t change how you’ll be treated in return.

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