One of my favorite television shows is Family Guy. This show is chock full of social commentary and enough in your face ignance to make 12 Black people proud.
I usually watch at least one episode a day since you can find an episode on any number of networks. Last night I came upon one of my favorite episodes where Peter becomes the host of his own news segment, “what really grinds my gears.”
For those that don’t watch the show (may God have mercy on your soul) or who haven’t seen that episode (if you’re a fan, you’ve seen that episode) or just have no clue what “grinding one’s gears” means (it’s not pr0n related), it’s those things that happen that agitate your or piss you off royally. Basically, it’s just things that annoy the living smurf out of you.
Well, that got me to thinking about things that personally grind my gears.
Allow me to share, mmkay?
These People – Excerpted from a GChat convo last week with Nikiloveli:
me: without telling you what happened exactly
but you know what grinds my gears
when people say stuff like, “we really shouldn’t do x…” when they actually mean “YOU really shouldn’t do x…” since its implied that they’d never do it in the first place.
since, ya know, they’re telling you that “we” need not do it
Niki: yes, i can see how that hypothetical situation would be hypothetically annoying as hypothetical shit
me: yeah. hypothetically, i want to stab hypothetical people who do that with rusty barncacles
ya know, hypothetically.
Niki: whoa, now. you have to be careful in those hypothetical situations, lest we have to switch adjectives…
me: LMAO but that really grinds my gears
Niki: point taken
Yep, that grinds mine gears.
People who say things like “we need to talk” and then proceed to say, “not now”. I mother*cking hate people who do that. True story – I had a chick actually say to me once, “we may need to talk about something later on.” Now what’s the first thing any able bodied male is going to think upon hearing this?
In my head: “Her period’s late. F*CK. I knew I should have gone for the pearl necklace.”
So what do I do? I kirk out and say that if we MAY need to talk about it later than we probably DO NEED to talk about it now. Turns out she just wanted to have a talk about her feelings for me, which, went pffffffffffffft after she tried to put me on emotional hold over some dumbness.
Word to Petey Jakes, if you ever want me to hate you…say some stupid sh*t like that to me.
Indecisiveness at McDonald’s. Die b*tch. The menu’s been pretty much the same since pterodactyls were chasing tyrannosaurus booty. If you have to think about it, like for real for real, you need Jesus and two cans of WD-40 to remove the foot that I’d like to put straight up your hiney.
And to piggyback –
Folks who don’t know what they want, but know what they don’t want. So let me get this right, I’m supposed to continue to offer suggestions until we reach something you’re not opposed too? Yeah the f*ck no. If you can’t come up with a suggestion, go eat cat food, beeyotch.
No public bathroom etiquette. Proper public restroom etiquette has two major tenets: 1) There is no discussion at the urinal until both parties have finished shaking and flushed. 2) There should always be a one stall buffer between sitting parties unless the one-stall buffer cannot be maintained due to over occupancy issues.
If you don’t respect the bathroom G-code, you are dead to me and should go one yourself in traffic.
So, those are just a few things that grind the great Panamanian’s gears. Good folks of VSBville, what grinds your gears??
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD 3