***before we get started today, i wanted to give a shout-out to the homie luvvie for spearheading the red pump project this week. all snark aside, that was some really good sh*t. ***
***flash back to the spring of 2003***
11:15: after some intense pre-gaming and skank ducking at arts, the champ and his crew of inebriated assh*les head to whiskey dicks, a fairly popular friday night spot in the burgh
11:30: just to confirm that they are in fact, inebriated assh*les, the champ and his crew of inebriated assh*les begin a three-man freestyle cypher while waiting in line, with each of us trying our hardest to find the most cleverly nasty way to incorporate “whiskey dicks” and “whiskey chicks” in a verse while simultaneously invoking disgust, amusement, appreciation, and intrigue from the women also in line. this tactic always works on wamo nights.
also, because we were listening to “diplomatic immunity” on the ride there, we each rhyme with a cadence eerily similar to juelz santana¹
11:47: the champ orders his customary two jack and cokes and does a solo walk through of the club, “taking attendance” because the champ doesn’t like surprises. the champ also doesn’t like guacamole, or racially ambiguous women. i’m not exactly sure how relevant any of this is, but i just thought i should share.
11:55: after the walk through, he orders two more jack and cokes, and chills at the bar. while doing this, the champ creates a scenario in his head where he’s the silent majority owner of the club, and then proceeds to lean back in his stool, slipping his jacks and watching the action with a detached air of subtle and self-righteous aristocratic bemusement. he stays in character for at least seven minutes².
12:01: the champ makes eye contact with chick who could easily pass for a lighter, hooder, version of nia long³. he approaches her. they introduce themselves (her name was “gee”).
they talk.
12:05: they talk some more.
12:10: they dance.
12:15: the champ takes the short break between songs as an opportunity to get gee’s number. the champ enjoys getting women’s numbers in the middle of packed dance floors, because it give him the opportunity to show everyone that he has a sidekick.
12:16: because of the noise level, the champ can’t really understand what she’s saying, so he hands her the phone to put her name and digits in herself. when finished, she hands the phone back to the champ, gives him a very nice hug, and goes back to chill with her girls.
12:18: before going to search for the rest of his crew of extremely inebriated assh*les, the champ glances in the phone to make sure she saved her info correctly, sess that “gee’s” full name was “gretchen”, and debates whether or not he was mentally, spiritually, and emotionally prepared to continue his life with a woman named “gretchen” in his address book.
12:20: sadly, the champ deletes the number.
ok, vsb…you’ve just read mine. now i want to hear yours. whats the shallowest, strangest, and most shamefully superficial reason you’ve ever had for dismissing a potential mate? we all got em, so no holier-than thouedness allowed today.
¹i’m at least 97 percent sure that i will regret admitting this publicly.
²the young champ was a strange drunk
³i realize that, with this description, i could have easily just said “she resembles pam from total“, but i wanted to find a way to incorporate nia long into vsb someday. congrats to me
—the champ
A mole on his neck. Every time he talked it moved.
@Hostess,
A mole on his neck. Every time he talked it moved
you didnt point and start screaming “molely, molely, molely” did you?
@The Champ,
Someone did that to me at McDonald’s and my homegirl mushed him. Hahaha!
(disclosure: I have a mole on my left cheek)
@Me fail english?,
Pics please. Is it beauty mark or does it have hair growing out of it?
@WuDaMan,
It’s a beauty mark, no hair! ewww. You can’t attach pics here can you? I don’t keep pics at work anyway
Hey Hostess
I wanted to tell you I apologize for all the guff I throw @ you. I’ma quit it. Although I would like to know the exact points I may have offended or p. you o. Only to apologize specifically to you for em. From what I can remember. It was once when there was a discussion (I took that it was over when can you call yourself done and inept @ relationships) I apologize. The other time I remember was when (I generally called the people in your sister’s profession dumb) I apologize. Then there was the time I came against your starting a relationship advice I apologize. If there’s anything more I apologize. & I’ma try not to go there anymore. ‘But how do I know your not going to do it any more?’ I’m glad you asked. I found that the local Target sells my beloved Suzie Q’s and now everything is right w/ the world.
@WuDaMan,
Umm… I think I officially need a WuDa Decoder ring. *perplexed*
@Luvvie,
Stop it. This was to the Hostess check yesterday’s corn post. It esplaines a lil.
@WuDaMan
methinks you have a little crushie poo on her. awwwwww that’s so cute
@V Renee,
Me thinks so too.
Awwwwwwww.
@Ms. Sula,
Nah I was really unfair to her. N it wasn’t none of her fault. I lashed out. I was wrong.
@WuDaMan, You thanks but uh, I have NO idea what you’re talking about. If I say, on my page, that I hate you, it’s just jokes. Seriously. Just because we disagree, I don’t carry beef.
@Hostess, Okay
TY 4 respondin. So you don’t carry beef? Not even bison? What about the ground turkey or chicken? You ever had that good coarse ground pork taco meat… mmmm.
actually with the new knowledge of yesterdays post…a gold chain. Call me crazy but you guys might be onto something LOL!
@PrincesMo,
i had no idea until yesterday of the widespread animus towards gold chains. who’d a thunk it
@The Champ,
I am befuddled myself. What did gold chains ever do to people?
@PrincesMo, I refuse to retire my chain!! I can’t believe it’s that serious…A gold chain, C’MON!!
@Toussaintthefree,
Lol, I’m sure there are SOME sistas that appreciate the gold chain…I’m sure they’re out there. For now just tuck it in, fam.
@AkShone,
I always tucked it in, you wouldn’t know if I had it on, it ‘s more sentimental…but yall cold chicks wouldn’t understand…….
* Turns head and sadly walks away*
@Toussaintthefree,
just so you know, not all chicks carry such disdain for the chain
ooooh look at me, I rhymed!!!
YAY Starbucks!
@Toussaintthefree,
I guess i’m just afraid of the tool like/douchebaggy (not u of course;) ) ora that some gold chain wearers exude. I’m a punk i’ll admit it, but if its concealed under clothing you still have the chance to win me over lol
@PrincesMo, How about a gold tooth? Open-faced w/ a champagne glass cut-out. Ghetto. Fabulous.
@KatrinaME,
Um omg if you ever encounter that tragedy run away screaming as fast as you can, and don’t look back, EVER. aesthetically challenged/ninjaliscious men and prostitutes have an ungodly superhuman ability to run with the swiftness, i’m not sure why -but don’t stop to ask any ?s, just book it lol
awwww, poor gretchen!!
i’ll date a white dude, but i cant hang with a white dude that cannot accept that he is bald. if its shinyazz scalp on top and a ponytail on the bottom, just gone and keep it moving.
oh, this one dude i couldnt deal with because i hated the sound of his voice. i couldnt tolerate it. i dont even have words to describe it, but i felt myself having violent urges whenever he spoke.
@shatani,
i’ll date a white dude, but i cant hang with a white dude that cannot accept that he is bald. if its shinyazz scalp on top and a ponytail on the bottom, just gone and keep it moving.
_________________________________
this ruined my whole life.
@charli skipper,
this is about as bad as the “mcnabb” (bald in the front, cornrows in the back)
@The Champ,
“mcnabb” (bald in the front, cornrows in the back)
i can’t, not this early in the morning, with my egg-n-cheese sandwich awaiting me.
@The Champ,
The McNabb could also be called “The Stevie”. Hairline & Forehead are strangers but got the nerve to have loc-braids (or “lo-raids”). Psht. His handlers don’t like him AT ALL!
@Luvvie,
I blame his handlers.
@Luvvie,
**gasping**
not this again.. lo-raids… STOP!!
@Luvvie,
Hairline & foreheads strangers – LMAO
lo-raid – Hollering!
…dudes wearing sunglasses indoors need not apply.
(in the event it hasn’t been already, this should added to the list of cornball-beatitudes)
@Resident GRitS,
hahahahah, lmafao
Hey maybe his only constantly wearing those sunglasses cause he has a bright future (okay maybe that was a bit cheesy…but who cares right…guys right…cumm on now you know i wasn’t really trieng to pass that of as a smart response..)
@sisanda,
“Hey maybe his only constantly wearing those sunglasses cause he has a bright future”
*takes breath* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *gasp* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
@Resident GRitS,
You hit the nail on the head! I can’t stand when men wear shades inside it is just stupid and grounds for their card to be revoked!
Oh, I have a few of these. One of the most memorable:
I met a really cute and seemingly smart guy at my favorite hang out. After trading numbers, unfortunately for him, he continued to chat me up: he talked my ear off and one thing I can’t stand is a yacking a$$ man.
It wasn’t so much the talking as it was the juvenile nature of his convo. And the fact that he gave me 50 compliments in a 20 minute span. I find that annoying.
I couldn’t get away fast enough. The nail in his coffin. He walked us to our car and asked, “Did you watch the BET awards last night?” as I put the car into drive. She and I collapsed into a fit of giggles. We couldn’t take it.
He called for about 2 weeks before he got the hint that I wasn’t calling back.
@iloVEGrits,
He walked us to our car and asked, “Did you watch the BET awards last night?” as I put the car into drive
lol…maybe he performed that night and shit and wanted you to watch.
I stopped talking to a chick because she told me was a Princeton football fan. Damn shame cuz she was bad too
@osyeP, that’s as good a reason as any. That’s like being a Colgate basketball fan
@osyeP,
LOL!! That’s a totally reasonable reason to stop talking to a someone, female or male.
I dismissed a really nice guy because he had a small hand. We clicked on so many levels and he was my type so many ways, but I could not get over one hand being noticeably smaller than the other. The thought of him rubbing the little hand against me just made me cringe. I eventually told him that we should just be friends. So shallow.
@I was wondering….,
piggy back w/ add on of dude that had sweaty hands…ewwww. can’t get down. sorry, next.
@Maria,
lmao, um like that white dude from Scary movie…all like, “take my hand” to girl dangling from window….
@I was wondering….,
(LOL and cringing at the same time)…I immediately think of the butler from Scary Movie 2. “Take my strong hand!”
@Resident GRitS,
bwahahahahaha. That butler gave e the heebie jeebies
@I was wondering…., competely unreleted, but one of my boys has one arm and when he’d piss me off I’d tell him to clap. I’ve been a bad person
@Panama Jackson,
LMAO!!!!
@Panama Jackson,
you are so going to hell for that!
@Panama Jackson,
hahahahahaha, get that onion outta ma face…haha…LMFAO!!
@Panama Jackson,
Your Dereon for Men suit is awaiting you for your ride in Hell. Hope you like the smell of sulfur
@Panama Jackson,
I’m sorry but that has to be somma the funniest sh!t I’ve ever heard.
@I was wondering….,
welcome and sh*t (i think)
@I was wondering…., I cant stop laughing! I could totally understand this one though. I mean he becomes you man and you gotta buy two separate pairs of gloves…that would be annoying. LOL!
long nails…don’t care if they’ve been kept up…you are a man, you shouldn’t have long nails/nail–creepy
unkempt nails, dirty, grimey looking just finished playin in the dirt nails…(if your a mechanic, still wearin ur gear & just got off work, you might get a pass)
jacked up teeth…extra tooth, missing tooth, tiny-baby teeth, confused- going-in-all-directions, scary fifty cent rabbit teeth…
@ Champ “the opportunity to show everyone that he has a sidekick” I know you’ve shared your giddy-ness about ur that sideback, but wow-lol-pressed
@Maria,
long nails…don’t care if they’ve been kept up…you are a man, you shouldn’t have long nails/nail–creepy
Yeah, this freaks me out in general. I can’t even carry out a coherent conversation with a guy with *extra* nails, because I’m starring at the talons the entire time. Oh God, I think I just threw up a little.
@Maria, i personally can’t stand the long pinky nail. why? why?
@Miss Patterson,
Ya know! I thought only South African men partook in this foolishness. Wow at finding out this is a global pandemic!
@YGB,
Nah. I met a lot of NC dudes who have that too. Yuck!
@YGB,
Kenyan men too and boys its so icking disgusting!!!
@Miss Patterson,
ummm…. for snorting…. ummm… blow.
at least that’s my *uninformed* guess
@Miss Patterson,
the long pinky nail is for the white. I knew “distributors” in college and they tell me thats what its for.
@Miss Patterson, the long pinky nail is for the white I was just about to say..that was a sign when I worked in the strip club (as a waitress) that dudes was all about that powder makin them hyper….
@Maria,
i have a professor that has long nails. i find myself staring at his hands as he gestures in class, wishing he had a questions/comments box so i can anonymously tell him how gross they are. i might just make one myself and leave it in his chair.
@charli skipper,
Please do! Let that be your contribution to humanity!
@Maria,
@ Champ “the opportunity to show everyone that he has a sidekick” I know you’ve shared your giddy-ness about ur that sideback, but wow-lol-pressed
lol, it was 2003 and i was still in the only cat in the burgh with one.
i was 24 too…and an assh*le
well at least the 24 part is in the past.
hehe.
@Maria,
Yes!!! Long nails = instant dismissal!!! I almost feel bad about this, until I imagine them touching me… and then I feel nauseated.
@Pretty Please,
I think men with long nails are either pimps or coke sniffers
@Maria,
Yeah baby teeth on grown men makes me laugh. How are you 6’4 with chicklet grill? Its jus funny. And I’d laugh everytime I saw his teeth. And he’d get mad. Would be turrble.
Ok i have a few, first and foremost if you have a blue tooth headset attached to your ears in the club and approach me i will laugh in your face. I know it sounds mean but seriously who could you possibly be talking to in the club with the music as loud as it is.
Secondly a grown man with braces, i just cant, especially if there colored. I gave this guy my number with braces out of common courtesy but i constantly ignore his calls. I mean he has sky blue braces, WTF!
@JamaicanGirl,
hmmm, the having braces as a grown person gets a pass from me b/c I understand that we all didn’t have access to health/dental care growing up.
i actually give grown folks w/ braces some props for still caring enough to take care themselves as adults…(now if they have colored/bejeweled braces that’s kinda whack, cos they have clear braces these days…I don’t think the metals are grounds for dismissal…just bedazzled/blinged-out ones…)
@Maria,
i currently have braces for the same reasons you mentioned…mama couldn’t afford them…but ain’t no way i would walk around w/ colors in my mouth. that’s what they make clear for. even though “clear” isn’t really clear but looks more appealing than metal/colors.
@JamaicanGirl,
welcome and sh*t.
and, to me, rocking a bluetooth earpiece is definitely a “simon” commandment.
@JamaicanGirl,
First of all, colored braces make the wearer’s teeth look perpetually slimy. If my future mini Luvvie ever needs them (which would be a first in my fam), she will not be allowed to be rocking no orange or blue braces. Just… NO
On a grown man, I’d just have to hurt his feelings a lil as I stare at his mouf with one eyebrow raised. I wouldnt be able to help it
@JamaicanGirl, OK. I have never had braces but in all fairness. Maybe he is just able to afford them. Maybe he just got a great job with great dental insurance. I agree with you about the colored braces thing though.
@JamaicanGirl,
Yes!! the blue tooth thing grates on my very last nerve!! I mean really, in the club? you can’t hear them so why bother? In church??? you expecting a call from the Lord and you think He is going to call your cell??? really???
@Bajan Girl,
There a lady at my church that always has her bluetooth on. I’ve never seen her without it, it always makes me laugh.
@miss t-lee,
it makes me think of that song “Royal Telephone” in a whole new light..
what about when they leave the volume on and answer in the middle of service? that too me is just unacceptable (unless you are a doctor or EMT or something who is on call.. but still put it on vibrate)
@Bajan Girl,
Exactly…
I know the person i’m thinking of is not a doctor/EMT—she’s a hairdresser…lmao!
Maybe a weave emergency may erupt? Who knows? haha
@miss t-lee,
CODE 10-52!!!
TRACK DOWN! TRACK DOWN!
okay I will stop now…. maybe…
@ Bajan Girl
LMAO!!!!!!
@Bajan Girl,
Being an actual paramedic I can say that I don’t wear a bluetooth on duty much less in the club.
Bluetooth + loud a$$ nightclub = pretentiousness
@Bajan Girl, Wow, not a call from the lord, funny stuff.
I live in South Florida and i frequent a few Caribbean Party and these dudes are always wearing these dam headsets.
I mean one dude in the mist of the club had the nerve to answer and was talking hella loud as the music abruptly stopped while he was shouting.
That mess was too funny…
i saw this flyazz dude at the airport one day, he was all tall and chocolatey and he had loverly locs and i was all set to make him the new prototype, then i scanned down and saw he was wearing a yankees t-shirt. done and done.
@shatani,
…sh*t, was it clean?
@Resident GRitS,
i dont even care.
lmao! no real bostonian is gonna date a yankees fan…i mean stars have to align, there has to be a series of very fortunate events, and that person has to have all else being spectacular….
@shatani,
What if he wasn’t an actual Yankee fan, but the shirt matched his kicks and sh*t?
I could give a flying f*ck about the Yankees, but I have a Yankee fitted in my ensemble of fitted caps. It’s a hip-hop staple…guess it’s just me.
@AkShone,
theres no excuse. cuz now, youre not yankees fan, youre just frontin….i wont say its worse, but its at least on par!
@shatani,
I Can understand that I wouldn’t touch a girl that wore Cowboys anything.
@shatani,
Respectable. F*ck the Yankees.
@Jarrod Halsey,
say word!
@shatani,
I have to agree…being from the BRONX, it would be a cold day in hell before I would date a boosox fan, I would take a eye out and cut my left n*t before I would offer a chick some ice…..GO YANKS!!!
@Toussaintthefree,
Methinks yall taking that ish a little too seriously. No way in hell Imma let the Sox keep me from some New Bootay…
@Dom,
Your right,
I lied
I have tasted the nectar of the Sox, it was ok…
“Forgive me, for I have sinned”
@Dom,
you must not really be into sports
@Dom,
yeah, and thats a problem too….i dont know about a man who isnt a sports fan. i mean, not ONE sport?? you got NO team affiliations? i mean, even my gays are sports fans!
@Jarrod Halsey,
Efff the Yanks. Fo’ real.
(World Champion) Phillies all day!!
@shatani,
This is completely reasonable. Really, I completly understand, appreciate, co-sign… yadda yadda…
true fans of sports teams have the allegiance to an appropriate team as a REQUIREMENT of being potential bootay. Fandom behaviors speak to character, morals and heck, even sack abilities.
I could see an Idris Elba doppleganger wearing Cowgirls para and it would turn my stomach and hurt my spirit all at the same time.
@blackberry molasses,
…damn. u got it bad.
Idris?? who’s paying attention to what he’s wearing?
@Resident GRitS,
If he is wearing Cowboys para, I am. Sheeeit. I’m an Eagles fan til I DIE.
No matter how fine he is, if he sings the praises of the FRBa (Former Resident Bitcha$$) T.O. or Tony Homo , HE GOTS TAH GO!
i dismissed a dude for being a vegetarian. well, not so much because he was a vegetarian as opposed to the fact that he expected me to cook him vegetarian food. i’m nigerian – i’m practically a carnivore. anyone who expects me to give up the goat meat has got to go.
i also dismissed a dude cos he wore hemp – this has come back to bite me in the ass as i saw him a couple weeks ago at a club and he looks so very very hot and considerably less hippy than he did a year ago. however, he still has this sheepskin/corduroy jacket i simply cannot accept, so i’m probably not missing out on much.
@puff,
i dismissed a dude for being a vegetarian
this is reasonable. vegans have terrible, terrible farts
@The Champ,
“vegans have terrible, terrible farts”
After I cackled at this, I’m curious but afraid to even have you expound
@Luvvie, The thing that irritates me about vegetarians is that they always expect you to cook a vegetarian dish for them but when they cook for you they wont fry up wings or cook a pot roast! I agree with The Champ on the gas thing ITS HORRIBLE.
@Yaa, no, not all of us!! i am a ‘vegetable’ as a guy from madagascar once described me… and i NEVER tell people that when i get invited for a meal – coz there are ALWAYS, but ALWAYS more than enough veg to keep me satis (fied).
i don’t like hassling people, and people get stressed about having to cook you veggies like it’s something out of the ordinary… and i’m like, ‘no man, i’ll just eat the veg you prepared!’
as for Champs statement about the farts… it’s a problem. i recommend bikram yoga ‘wind removing pose’. does wonders for the issue… just an idea.
@Yaa,
i know right!! they want concessions but dont MAKE concessions! and im with ya’ll…i am nearly carnivore. the idea that one day i might be vegetarian is actually hilarious to me.
@Luvvie,
He’s not lying. One of roommates freshman year of college was vegetarian (borderline vegan) and it was a bad bad day if you needed to use the bathroom right after her – the beans, the nuts, the super raw vegetables. Goodness, the offense to my nostrils was unbearable.
@ Champ,
“racially ambiguous” What does this mean? I’m thinking bi/multiracial but I can’t be sure.
Also, are you afraid of German women? Do the Gretchens, Heidis, Claudias and Veronikas of the world remind you of that dark place? Ich liebe dich Champ! LMAO.
@Ms. Hall,
“racially ambiguous” What does this mean? I’m thinking bi/multiracial but I can’t be sure.
when i can’t immediately place someone in a racial box (the “exotic look” per see.). not all bi-racial woman qualify. with most, actually, you can generally tell their origin immediately. if i have to wonder about it, though, then its annoying.
@The Champ,
In other words, you’se close-minded.
Speaking of racially ambiguous women, I have it confirmed that Amber Rose is NOT “full snizzle” like you previously suggested. She’s actually and indeed biracial. Italian and Cap Verdean.
@Ms. Sula, oooh i just read that too. about her mix, that is. i was intrigued when i saw her on somebody’s blog (somebody listed her as their new girl crush..ha! mine too). i was like “that booty ain’t no snizzle booty”. Cape Verdean= Black.
@Miss Patterson,
Cape Verdean= Black.
Dont say that too loud in Boston. Thems fighting words!
@Dom,
oh my damn, that is so true!!! i remember one time i had a fight with this girl in school (not physical) over her blackazz! she swore she wasnt black…im like, have you seen a map, b!tch!?!? them boston cape verdeans really cannot tolerate being called black folk…puerto ricans take it better!
Ha — I’ve dismissed a few chicks over sporting flip flops while not at the beach/heading to a gym shower….or an even more egregious offense: those gotdamn ballerina/chinese slippers.
@Master Sergeant Vernon Waters,
…don’t move to Florida. you’ll hate it.
@Master Sergeant Vernon Waters,
i will admit to lapses in judgment and i accept all the folks who opted not to talk to me at those times.
*hangs head in shame thinking about the time i wore nike flip-flops at the club cuz my feet were hurting and i didnt want to put on my heals*
@shatani,
‘hangs head in shame thinking about the time i wore nike flip-flops at the club cuz my feet were hurting and i didnt want to put on my heals’
*shock and awe*
h3ll on hanging your head in shame, you should be laid out on the ground, yo’ head need to be so low. lol.
@SouthernGirl,
hahahah….i said i was sorry!!
@shatani,
You wore Nike flip flops to the club??? *penning Shatani a sternly worded letter* iCant with you.
@Luvvie,
aww, luvvie, dont be stern! it wasnt intentional, i swear it!
@shatani,
so, do you mean that your feet were hurting so bad that you took your heels off in the club, and changed into the flip flops? Or am I understanding correctly that you indeed came to the club with them on already?
If it’s the latter i need jesus to be a stylish flat shoe (for you because that is unacceptable lol)
@shatani,
I can’t believe there was a club that let you in with flats on, much less flip flops. That said, you were probably partying in the hood and I see nothing wrong with the ensemble.
@Me fail english?,
yeah, i couldnt believe they let me in either! although, i was friends with the bartender and had been there several times before (WITH appropriate footwear!) so maybe i got a pass…
this was in boston, i wasnt in the hood, i was downtown….me and a friend took the train to the club and i was rockin the flip flops…i had intentions of changing when we got there, but i uh…didnt. *blank stare*
@Master Sergeant Vernon Waters,
Those slippers are the worse thing ever. Five point deduction instantly.
I’m still bugging out and proud of my school Syracuse University for lasting through 6 OTs in college basketball and beating UConn in the Big East quarterfinals.
@Leila, I’ll respond to the blog in the morning:)
@Leila,
That’s my old school! I’m at UCLA now (no haters on our football team please. I know we suck, for lack of a better word). But go Orange!!!!
Damn, I think I actually just gave away more about my location in 4 sentences than in any response I’ve ever posted on this blog. Oh well. At least Lulu isn’t my real name.
@lulu,
Now that I basically know your life story, let me tell you I’m coming to la next week, we should VSB happy hour
@Dorian G.,
@lulu, Glad to see another Cuse alumni on here. I just graduated in ’08. I’m so excited for March Madness…
@Leila,
I’m not an alumni.Left after freshman year because the ‘rents couldn’t afford it and transferred to UCLA. But I’m still a ‘Cuse fan in my heart and an alumni in my mind.
After the game, the Facebook statuses from all my ‘Cuse girls are waaay hyped. Everyone was so excited. I’m also proud of my friend JT, who is also a Cali boy playing for Orange.
@Leila,
I’m still bugging out and proud of my school Syracuse University for lasting through 6 OTs in college basketball and beating UConn in the Big East quarterfinals.
yeah, i stayed up to watch that sh*t (and the cavs game on tnt). can’t go to bed when you’re watching history
Dudes in fraternities. I. JUST.CAN’T. I’ve met a couple of lovely individuals, and everything was going swimmingly until they divulged that they were in frats; a mental curtain descends at this point and they are placed squarely in the friends’ category.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
Why? on what grounds, please expound
@Maria,
with a few exceptions. i generally feel this way about soros also
@The Champ,
i wasn’t in one, and my circle of college friends weren’t either…never really interacted with fran/soro just wondering what the basis for dismissal was bout… shrugs shoulders
@The Champ,
I tend to feel this way about frat boys as well. I don’t dismiss entirely but subconsciously they have to do a lot more than others to prove they are worth dating…
Maybe has to do with my (certainly erroneous) association of fraternities and group mentality thing. I like individuals.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
Yeah this is ridiculous. Thats like me saying I dismiss all women who frequent blogs.
@Dorian G.,
“Thats like me saying I dismiss all women who frequent blogs”
Bad analogy. That aint e’en the same
@Luvvie,
You mad cuz you frequent blogs luvvie?
@Dorian G.,
Yes Dorian. I am STEAMING mad! *side-eye*
@ofloveandotherdemons,
*waiting for Peyso to chime in on this*
@Luvvie,
**pulls up a chair next to Luvvie on offers her some of her Girl Scout Lemonades**
@ofloveandotherdemons,
I honestly don’t have a super logical reason for this. I think mainly it’s because 97% of the guys I’ve met who have been in frats are obscenely obnoxious oafs; so, right or wrong, I assume the guy I’m talking to will have the same traits. Plus, there is some crazy group, borderline mentality, isht that goes with these organizations that I just can’t get behind.
It’s not logical but there it is.
I wouldn’t talk to a guy because he went to Brashear High school (a public school in the Burgh) who I met in a Journalism Workshop. I went to a private school, and so I had “certain opinions*”, let’s just say. The school was located in South Hills and at the time I thought that neighborhood was pretty wack. In my defense, he was woofin’. A term we used in high school to describe a boy who didn’t go to the barber regularly. Later, I would date someone who went to Wilkinsburgh high school, and I don’t think I advertised this fact very much either. Instead I told people he “used to go to Shadyside Academy”- another private school. Yeah, that was pretty shallow too. The irony in all of this is that I ended up attending a Pgh Public School my last year and a half of high school. Ha!
In college, I never entertained the idea of dating a Clark man, even though I went to Clark…only *cough, cough* Morehouse/Emory men got my attention. Ok, I’m going to go hide now.
*I no longer have such opinions.
@Miss Patterson, it’s okay, the truth shall set you free.
Dear old Morehouse…
@Miss Patterson,
After six years in Atl (I’m an Emory grad) I’ve never, ever, EVER heard any woman from any walk of life say “Emory men got my attention.” Not quite sure how I feel about that.
@Jarrod Halsey, really? not even after a Cox Hall party? I went to Oxford too, so we looked forward to these parties and the men that attended them.
@Miss Patterson, In college, I never entertained the idea of dating a Clark man, even though I went to Clark…only *cough, cough* Morehouse/Emory men got my attention. Ok, I’m going to go hide now.
I was the same way. Actually, I really didn’t pay attention to any AUC men, and “dated” off site most of the time up until my senior year, not including a special friend or 2 at Morehouse. Clark and MoB men didn’t have a chance in hades….
@Miss Patterson,
IDK– my immediate ex was a Morehouse man…I think he was more impressed with that than I was.
@miss t-lee,
arent they usually??
*exits quickly*
@shatani,
I don’t wanna make sweeping generalizations, but I’ll probably think twice before dating another one…lol
@shatani, yes…they are. their cockiness about their alma mater is kind of what did it for me. enough…i’m signing off now.
@shatani,
Lol! So true, so true…
@shatani,
yes, they are
@miss t-lee,
LOL!!!! They are like that…seriously.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
Aw man, I was thinking it was just him being a tool.
@miss t-lee,
Some are worse than others, and those are the ones that are cornballs trying to overcompensate for inadequacies. Most of them are cool guys….
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
“cornballs trying to overcompensate for inadequacies”
I’m thinking this was the instance with the immediate ex…lol
Issues for days.
@Miss Patterson,
I wouldn’t talk to a guy because he went to Brashear High school (a public school in the Burgh) who I met in a Journalism Workshop. I went to a private school, and so I had “certain opinions*”, let’s just say. The school was located in South Hills and at the time I thought that neighborhood was pretty wack.
lol, there’s definitely neighborhood and school elitism in the burgh. there are certain “off-brand” schools and places that seem to be looked at with a jaundiced eye by everyone else, which i guess, for an outsider, would be ironic since it is, ummm, pittsburgh
@The Champ,
“for an outsider, would be ironic since it is, ummm, pittsburgh”
Yo you beat me to the punch.
@Dorian G., hey Dorian. Don’t get it twisted, the Burgh is still the sh*t. The irony that the Champ is pointing out is that it’s a humble town and really should have no place for elitism. That is unless we’re talking about the Steelers.
@The Champ,
But I can so get it though… It’s the same in my hometown. There is definitely elitism as far as the schools you attended. There are the “social status” schools , schools for the “smart kids”, and the ones were students are generally considered lame.
So I definitely get it.
@The Champ,
Lol. I once asked my homegirl from Philly why she wouldn’t talk to a dude from Chester. And she replied without hesitation or even a smirk “Girl, Chester got AIDS.”
Like the whole town.
@Me fail english?, I say this about the whole city of newark, nj *hangs head in shame*
p.s.
i will say that it is a high rate of aids/hiv cases in the city. It’s too bad because those brothas with the nice long dreads look delicious but I JUST CAN’T
@Me fail english?,
LMAO @ “Chester got AIDS.”
@Me fail english?,
LMAO!!!! thats effed up! poor chester, cant catch a break!
Dude asked me to be his gf but I said no because he wore his semi-long curly hair in a samurai top knot. iCant be seen in public with that; especially since he was 6’4″ and did not need the extra height from the ball on top of his head.
I also refuse to holla at 25 and above males still living at home or who haven’t earned a college degree. My mental curtain comes down if you’re both. I’m a snob about education and financial independence. I think it runs in Nigerian/African blood.
@lulu,
What about a dude living at home to pay for grad school?
@Jarrod Halsey,
ive never met one.
@shatani,
Hi! My name is Jarrod! I live at home and pay for grad school out of my pocket. Nice to meet you!
@Jarrod Halsey,
*curtsy* the pleasure’s mine, im sure! /*curtsy*
@Jarrod Halsey,
mad respect for paying out of pocket. i think i go on case-by-case but until i get an explanation, i will be viewing you from a side-eye. i can’t help it.
@lulu,
i feel you, Lulu….ive tried to fight it and date undereducated and dudes living at home, and i just cant. my mama put that in there real good! i can hardly accept dudes with roommates….im such an elitist.
@lulu,
NAIJA STAND UP!!
And I cackled at the visual of the samurai top knot. No grown man should be rocking the “Mulan”. NONE!
@Luvvie,
Dead at the Mulan.
@Ms. Sula,
also dead. *snicker* i love that movie.
@SouthernGirl,
I love that movie to pieces.
@Ms. Sula,
me three!!
@Luvvie,
the Mulan
DYING OVER HERE.
@lulu,
I don’t mind the living at home so much(really on a case by case basis), but I admit to being a tad elitist about the undereducation one…. *shame face*
And you might be onto something about it being an “African” thing…
@Ms. Sula,
i have no shame about the education thing. for me, it is non-negotiable because it doesn’t have to take place in an academic setting. a self-taught man with a library card has the same chance with me as the degree’d man. all i ask is that nonsense doesn’t come out when you open your mouth and you speak proper english.
@lulu,
I’m a snob about education and financial independence. I think it runs in Nigerian/African blood
True. I’d have to hear about it in all four languages (English/Kiswahili/Kikuyu/amalgamation of all three) from my mom if I brought home some dude with a high school degree/ no ambition/ living at home for no good reason.
However, if they are living at home so they can acheive some sort of end goal, then I’m OK with that.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
word! my Ghanaian mother would give me a stern talking to. even more stern than luvvie’s letter pertaining to my flipflops!
@ofloveandotherdemons,
“I’d have to hear about it in all four languages (English/Kiswahili/Kikuyu/amalgamation of all three) from my mom if I brought home some dude with a high school degree/ no ambition/ living at home for no good reason.”
Preach! My parents would die. And then disown me.
Man, I’m pretty shallow–though I have improved a bit since my undergrad days. Here goes:
I dismissed women for disliking these artists: Prince, Sade, and Anita Baker. if you you start sending brain signals to state you don’t like one of these people, I must move 10 feet away for fear of committing a felony assult on you.
*not liking family guy
*not liking the Godfather movies
*being from the South and not knowing any songs by Eightball & MJG
*messing up spaghetti (not the sauce) just the pasta
*wearing too many shoes that show feet
*eating from my plate without asking
*rocking a fake label anything
to be continued…
@BlkBond, Rocking a fake label is thee worst. They rock big names around here and we live in KENTUCKY. If it’s real, where in the heck are they buying them? lol
@Nicki Sunshine,
Nicki you are just down the street from me… I’m in Dayton, OH
And they are getting them the same place OH folks are.. Marshals, TJ Maxx and Value City hahaha
@mssmtaylor, Really? I haven’t been to Dayton yet, although I frequent Cincinnati!!!!
I really hope that is where they are getting them bc these purse parties and such is not what’s hot. lol
@Nicki Sunshine
How often do you frequent Cincinnati?
@V Renee,
Yes, I’d like to know too. I’m in Cincy.
@V Renee, I haven’t been this year yet, but it’s nothing for me to come.. It’s only an hour and a half away… ROAD TRIP!
@V Renee,
Hey, girls! I’m only a short jaunt up the road, too, in Indy.
@BlkBond,
How does one wear “too many shoes that show feet?” Please qualify too many.
Thanks.
@SouthernSole,
I do not like feet. Even worst, ugly feet. I love meeting a woman in running shoes or shoes that cover her feet (I am the extreme Marcus Graham).
If I meet a woman wearing peep-toe shoes, then the next day she has on sandals, then open toe shoes, then it starts over again…I start reaching for the dismiss button. No. FEET.
That is all . Carry On.
@BlkBond,
So in the summer, you just prefer her feet be confined and sweaty and all Frito-Lay corn-chippy with some tube socks on and gym shoes e’erday???
@nia,
“Frito-Lay corn-chippy ”
*crying*
Straight up BBQ corn-nuts/cool ranch doritos action.
lol
@nia,
no, she can wear the flats or running shoes with ankle socks. I’m not trying to see crusty toes looking like fries from checkers
@nia,
Dying of laughter ova here.
Bwahahaha!
@nia,
“all Frito-Lay corn-chippy”
*dead*
at some point, I’m going to create a Word doc entitled ‘VSB Gems’ and just copy/paste all the nonsense you guys come up with. God I’m dying still.
@BlkBond,
“I dismissed women for disliking these artists: Prince, Sade, and Anita Baker”
That’s a bloody good reason!
@YGB,
I concur!
@BlkBond,
you sir, are absolutely correct in all of that! i have quite a few tv shows that a dude is gonna need to watch if we’re gonna hang. and if he cant find joy in utterly silly shyt, he gotta go…
@BlkBond,
Those are all good reasons to dismiss a chick…and who doess’t like Prince, Sade, and Anita Baker?
I had a guy tell me he didn’t like South Park or Chappelle’s Show (when it was on). He was dead to me after that.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
i had a dude tell me he didnt like Anchorman….he was dead to me before he even finished that sentence!
@shatani,
I’m sorry but I can’t stand Anchorman. Period. It was funny after the 5th time I was forced to watch it but the other 4 times, it was just plain stupid. I guess I just don’t like the main actor or something. I’ve only ever liked him in “Stranger than Fiction” the only serious movie he’s done, I think
@BlkBond,
Anyone who doesnt like “Family Guy” is missing the sense of humor gene. Their laughbox is broken and their funny bone is surly. I cant associate myself with such a person.
@BlkBond,
*wearing too many shoes that show feet
My uncle used to do this. He was a nut about it though.
He dismissed a chick for wearing sandals on a first date! He was like, “who does she think she is, showing me her feet! I dont know her like that!”
@Dom,
LMBAO!!! @ ur uncle.
I’d love to have a drink with him
@Me fail english?,
He finally got his ish together and wifed up his longtime gf. She’s very boho, and I know she wears sandals on a reg. More proof that men dont really know what they want any d*mn way.
@Me fail english?,
i second that drink. he sounds hilarious.
@BlkBond,
eating from my plate without asking
Likely to get impaled with whatever cutlery is near
@ofloveandotherdemons,
not to mention just plain nasty. ugh!
@BlkBond,
*being from the South and not knowing any songs by Eightball & MJG
As a bonafide southern girl, this is definitely legit!
LOL I once wouldnt give a dude my number because his friend was FIONE….it was for his sake as well as mine…
I already told you about gold chains…..
my most shameful
I met this guy once after school, he was my sis boyfriends older cousin.. I was in 10th grade, he had a car a big “bone” and extra stay flo’ed starched up Gerbeauds and Polo boots.so yall know he was the shyt back in 93. he was out of school so that was another plus..so we talk on the phone and he was cool but he always bragged on himself….but once he got passed the braggin he was cool…we arrange a movie date..he comes to pick me up the following saturday and I saw him ….I didnt have my glasses on when I first met him so I didnt realize he looked like
Mac Tonight…long a$$ chin and erry thang…and he had bad skin…
I couldnt do it…I told him I was sick right after he walked through the door, he tried to be sweet but I couldnt do it…I mean there is something about a light brite with bad skin ….I cant….hangs head in shame…..and then the Mac tonight head/face……
@shay_d_lady,
LOL I once wouldnt give a dude my number because his friend was FIONE….it was for his sake as well as mine…
this could be a potential vsb topic: if whether or not your crew and their attractiveness (or lack thereof) can increase or deduct from your “score”
@The Champ,
possibly if you’re the one hitting on me but I find you’re friend/s hotter… Just not going to happen…for my sake.
umm I have also counted dudes off my list for being heavy breathers, sweating to much, talking with a lisp or with a “fat tongue” (you know like Biggie) wearing excessive cologne or loud a$$ deodarant (i have allergies) for wearing an earring in BOTH ears, wearing a big a$$ hoop earring, chipped tooth, a weirdly shaped thumb (the thought of that joint touching me..ughhhh) and wearing a basketball jersey with out a t=shirt underneath extra added nonono? with caked up deodarant under the arms…
@shay_d_lady,
LMAO! Damn your standards are high!
Seriously, any dude with a lisp is automatically put in the ghey category by me! Sorry. I just can’t!
@YGB,
awwww! the lisp is my favorite of the speech impediments! i think its so cute….but uh, yeah, not til death do us part. lmao!
@shatani,
LMAO! I also think it’s cute… if you’re 8!
Grown azz man though…not so much. For some reason if a man lisps, I then expect him to be pigeon toed as well!
@shay_d_lady,
Are you Tyra Banks!
You better be PERFECT talking all this mess….
(I’m still warm over this gold chain thing…its tuck in for goodness sake!)
@Toussaintthefree, You better be PERFECT talking all this mess….
honey nowhere near perfect!!! but I like what I like and I found somebody that met all those requirements and I met all his…..,LMAO so there is somebody out there just waiting to put a charm on your gold necklace…..
@shay-d-lady,
LOL
I really did walk into that one…
oh dirty white tennis shoes….
@shay_d_lady, I agree!
@shay_d_lady,
Girl I cant stand dirty white tennis shoes or any dirty shoes for that matter.
I cant stand a hairless faced man. Something about a grown a$$ man without facial hair I find very disturbing.
I’m checking for the ” I live with my mama cause she sick” story either.
You must have a car.
um…i was on a date with a guy and was a pretty good time. until he mentioned “good hair.” first he said it about somebody else: ‘why did she cut it? that was good hair!’ and then in reference to himself: “yeah, people tell me i look like ______. except for the good hair.” something about that. i just can’t.
oh! also, after a lovely evening with this charming guy, he got his keys locked in his car and had to call pop-a-lock. i’m not really sure how i expected him to get into his car without busting the window out like an idiot, but the fact that he just keep walking around the car and switching his hips all helpless-like was not cute to me.
and then there was the guy with the soft hands…
@charli skipper, but on second thought, the first one really isn’t that shallow. in fact, it’s actually quite deep.
@charli skipper,
i thoroughly agree!
@charli skipper, ““yeah, people tell me i look like ______. except for the good hair.” something about that. i just can’t”
I would’ve kicked him to the bricks too. That’s such a wack comment
@Nicki Sunshine,
Dudes who get gassed off of their “good hair”/soft hands/pretty feet, etc. disgust me. Really…disgust me
@charli skipper,
hahahahahahaha
@charli skipper,
“yeah, people tell me i look like ______. except for the good hair.” something about that. i just can’t.
this is gay as hell. the only thing gayer than saying this is actual gay sex.
@The Champ,
…on a rainbow.
@Nikiloveli,
with flufffy pink clouds and glitter shooting out of booty’s left and right.
@blackberry molasses,
In San Francisco.
@Nikiloveli,
y’all are hot ass messes. lmao.
@charli skipper, YES SOFT HANDS that is a total turn off. I feel the same way abut a guy with pretty feet. I like dudes feet to look like dudes feet. Dont get me wrong I like a guy that gets mani & pedis but they have to be manicured ugly feet….but that’s just me.
@Yaa, naw. i don’t like dudes with corns or the crusty white pinky toe or the man who refuses to acknowledge that he has a fungal problem. when your nail is calcified, slightly yellow or black and opaque, then you need to see the podiatrist and get that sh*t handled…IMMEDIATELY. they have medication for that sh*t ya know.
@charli skipper,
CHILE! I feel you on the soft hands! Man’s hands should not feel like babies’ arses! Ninja grab a hammer and go fix something! Don’t come back until something in calloused! Ol’ Mr. Burns feeling hands …
teeth. i refused to date a quite fit guy because i didn’t like the way the gap in his two front teeth protruded out ever so slightly… i love a gap-toothed smile, but his was just off. turns out he was a dog anyways, so was a lucky escape.
also friends tried to hook me up once, and i refused point blank… he tucked his shirt into his jeans, without a blazer. just like that. noooooooooooooo…. the way a guy wears his jeans, is the ultimate decider.
@kmplx,
i know what you mean about the way a guy wears his jeans.
@kmplx, Ew, and if a guy chokes his tennis shoes , meaning he ties the laces them all tight and it looks like his feet can’t breathe
@kmplx, i have a thing for imperfect teeth as long as they’re white. don’t know why. i wanted a gap between my teeth when i was younger, but my orthodontist had other plans. but seriously, as a long as a brotha brushes regularly, has good breath, and his teeth aren’t the color of a sh*t stain, we’re cool.
awww, short dudes…bless their hearts…even if you’re super fine, can’t do it…same height, maybe 1 in. shorter, but anything below 5.5, all i’m thinking bout are “stilts”, patting my lap for you to sit on it lol, or holding ur hand in a parent-leading-child-type way…
@Maria, See, all I can think about is a pimp and a gardening tool. Either way, it’s just as awkward.
@Nicki Sunshine,
interesting! i hadnt even thought of that! dang…you just ruined short dudes for me! lol
@shatani,
I don’t like short dudes either. And I’m short! I’m 5’2. We can not be lookin eye to eye. Two munchkins walkin down the street. Not cute.
@shatani, LMAO.. Seriously, I dated a short guy once and wouldn’t wear skimpy outfits and heels bc of that.
@Nicki Sunshine,
done and done! i hope he didnt have a cane…that just completes the image for me!
@Maria,
stilts, lol? wow.
***wet blanket alert***
funny how men can get clowned for something they cant control (ie “height”), but if a woman is dissed and ranked based on something she can’t control (ie: “looks”) its an issue.
hmmmm. something to think about and sh*t
***throwing wet blanket in the furnace***
@The Champ,
I think the issue (well for me in any case) is not the fact that these men are short but it’s a case of staying in one’s lane. Don’t go for women who are much taller than you!
@YGB,
screw that im short and I shoot for the heights. All women dont feel that way. I need someone who can reach the top shelves I cant touch.
@Deviant,
“I need someone who can reach the top shelves I cant touch.”
iCant stop laughing. Apparently that’s all I can do when I read these comments.
@The Champ,
On the other hand, if you can make up for it with other good qualities, I might be willing to overlook the height issue. Example: Kevin Hart. I think he is so funny! And that ninja know he short. He know it. He clowns himself because of it. But because he’s funny, it works for him. (Holla at me Kevin! I know you married, but we can work through that!)
Moral: If you got a quality that’s beyond your control, you gotta be able to compensate for it in other areas.
@nia,
it sure is funny, i saw in dec. while in chicago, and plan on seeing him here in dc this summer, prolly lotta the same material, but tis ok, funny and cutie, but i never knew how short he was til i was at that show smh
@nia,
Yeah he was fine til I found out he was little. I thought KD Aubert was just really tall. (And yes I liked Soul Plane. I realize that I’m off several of your lists now. HAHA)
@The Champ,
LMAO well I actually agree w/ ur dank blanket (see: last week’s post “thatshallnotbenamed”
@The Champ
I swear I was thinking the same thing!
@The Champ,
*nods head in agreement*
@The Champ,
I was about to say.
@The Champ, true.
@The Champ,
I’m pretty sure “Gee” had nothing to do w/being named Gretchen and yet you dismissed her w/o a second thought.
…don’t throw stones and sh*t.
@Resident GRitS,
I just realized how corny it was for a chick named Gretchen to change her nickname to hood-ass “Gee”. That’s like “My name is Winston Carrington III…but you can call me Dub-C Murdah Loc” FCUK OUTTA HERE!
@The Champ,
It’s a matter of practicality. I’m 5’3.”
Somebody’s got to change the light bulbs.
@The Champ,
isnt it always an issue?? it seems to me that men get to voice their preferences all the livelong day, but if a woman does, she’s shallow. and im sure it seems just the opposite to the men…
however i DID miss the infamous post, so…..
I am the queen of shallow sometimes. I’ve deleted guys for:
1. Long white basketball socks (there I go again with that, I know!)
2. Weird breathing (if I can hear wheezing like u need to blow your nose, your O.U.T out)
3. Dorky laugh (and this man was FINE! but I just couldn’t take it)
4. Short guys wearing long t shirts… (when he took his pants off, it looked like he had on a gown)
5. A flat booty and a big stomach (this has to be the awkwardest shape on a man, ever. I caught myself laughing.)
@Nicki Sunshine,
“when he took his pants off, it looked like he had on a gown”
Miss Sunshine you lit up my day with that statement. LOL.
@Ms. Hall,
not even just short dudes! any dude in a shirt the length of a ball gown can go ahead and pass me by.
@Ms. Hall, “Miss Sunshine you lit up my day with that statement. LOL.”
***takes a bow**** thanks doll.
@Ms. Hall, this made me think of those long baggy jean shorts that were really in during the early to mid 90′s. I dated someone who on top of being 5’8″ sported a sag, so he shouldn’t have been wearing them, because they stopped just below his shins.
@Nicki Sunshine, (when he took his pants off, it looked like he had on a gown)
That visual killed me. LMAO!!!
@Nicki Sunshine,
“4. Short guys wearing long t shirts… (when he took his pants off, it looked like he had on a gown)”
Hmmmmm. Taking his pants off? Are you sure you dismissed him?
@V Renee,
lmao
@V Renee, LMAO.. after I got my pleasure. Aw. lol
***oh to be 23 again ***
@V Renee,
Hmmmmm. Taking his pants off? Are you sure you dismissed him?
lol, i was about to type the same thing
@V Renee,
So you caught that too, uh?
@Nicki Sunshine,
4. Short guys wearing long t shirts… (when he took his pants off, it looked like he had on a gown)
HAHAHAHHAHA! Its so true.
I broke up with my boyfriend because he showed me baby pictures where he had 12 fingers (an extra on each pinky)…and he said he wish he had the choice to remove them, not his mother.
Seriously, I was almost physically ill…
PEACE OUT BOYSCOUT!
@ElleBella_ATL_Playa, This just kilt me. LMAO
I knew a Gretchen back in grade school…She was a 2520 chick though…lol
Once a met a kat at IHOP after the club, we chopped it up for a bit in the parking lot and then before leaving he asked me for my number, I gave it to him. I asked for his back. He puts his number/name in my phone. He proceeds to tell me his name was K-9. That’s exactly how he put it in my phone too…lol
Of course, at this point I’m laughing. I’m like “Nuh, I know yo’ Mama ain’t name you no ish like that. What’s your govt. name? “He’s like “That’s my name.” Straight face.
Meanwhile my homegirl’s over off to the side talking to K-9′s friend. I just walked over to her, motioned for her keys, chunked duece to K-9 and got in the car.
Of course, I never called and when he called that ish went to voice mail heaven. He eventually got the point after 2 weeks and stopped calling.
Dah well.
@miss t-lee,
i dont like when men introduce themselves with dumbazz nicknames! now, if i give you a dumbazz nickname, thats different…im known to do that. but please dont step to me with some ish you used to tag on the lockers in junior high. grow the hell up! is that on your name tag at the shoprite? for real? azz.
@shatani – shoprite? you in philly? you and miss t-lee gotta be b/c that nickname mess SOUNDS like some philly shyt. you don’t know how many times i’ve walked away from some azzhole who introduced himself as ‘dolla’ or ‘TY’ (prounounced tee-why). that’s not shallow lol.
@K.,
Nah…I’m in Texas girlie…
The nickname ish runs rampant down here as well.
@miss t-lee,
LMAO I met a dude in Ft. Lauderdale last year named “Man.” man oh man.
@Dom,
“Man.”
*sniggling*
@Dom,
“Man” is hilarious. Although I do have a cousin named Man-Man.
@Dom,
okay, im DYING over “man” LMAO!
@miss t-lee, I figured you were Texas or Louisiana cause you just said Nuh! LOL
@Ms.T,
My slang told on me huh?
*giggling*
@K.,
i am in philly! where the dudes baggin your groceries is tryin to push up on you like he’s not wearing a damn smock! and then gonna tell you his dumbazz name thinkin you’ll be impressed!
@shatani,
“i dont like when men introduce themselves with dumbazz nicknames! ”
I’ve got some funny reactions from my name when I tried to talk to a woman. I have had to explain a few times that my name is not a nickname. My Ghanaian father gave me a Ghanaian name.
@Humble_One,
That’s different though.
You can normally tell an actual given name from some BS name a guy chooses to call themselves…lol
@Humble_One,
oooh, now i wanna know what your name is! lol
and yes, i think thats different…foreign names can usually get a pass…you know Africans be havin mad names! i got like 4 my damn self!
…A woman who was a Cowgirls fan = No go
…A woman who was sports bandwagon/frontrunner = No go (I’d rather she told me that shs didn’t have a team at all. Frontrunning = zero character)
…A woman with the Doo Doo breath. Worst part is that she wanted to kiss. Nah sis, I’m good. No really…..I’M GOOD.
…A woman who didn’t read past what was required of her in high school. Actually told me “Why? What for? I’d rather watch the movie…” Deuces, sis.
…A woman who spent the majority of the time during our conversations fishing for compliments. I’m not the one sis.
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
“…A woman who was sports bandwagon/frontrunner = No go (I’d rather she told me that shs didn’t have a team at all. Frontrunning = zero character)”
see this here, is part of my issue on yankees fans! lmao…i mean, aside from hating on pure principle.
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro, “…A woman with the Doo Doo breath. Worst part is that she wanted to kiss. Nah sis, I’m good. No really…..I’M GOOD.”
Ew.. yes, bad breath will get u dismissed with a quickness
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
…A woman who was sports bandwagon/frontrunner = No go (I’d rather she told me that shs didn’t have a team at all. Frontrunning = zero character)
definitely a sign of a “simon”
I once stopped seeing a chick because all she wanted was a physical relationship. I know, I know. I can hear the boos from the fellas right now. But I’ve come to realize that I’m definitely a sucka for love and if I would have slept with her, I woulda fell for a chick who wouldn’t have wanted anything near what I wanted.
Damn shame too. She was FINE…
@Jarrod Halsey,
At first glance I thought you said you can hear “boots” from the fellas and I was sooo confused. Like what the hell’s that spose to mean?
Back to the matter at hand, I’ve never ever heard a guy giving this reason for not sleeping with a chick. I think very few men like this exist.
@YGB,
But they do. Or they smash and then get their feelings seriously hurt.
But it’s a myth that sensitive men don’t exist. They do and we should aknowledge them.
Good job Jarrod!
@Jarrod Halsey,
Awww how sweet.
@mssmtaylor,
@Jarrod Halsey,
Awww how sweet.
lol, and by “sweet” you mean “gay”, right?
@The Champ,
HA! FU, dude. Speaking of which, I feel I had to bring this to the table. Is Hines Ward gay?
And don’t think I didn’t notice that native New Yorker crack from yesterday’s post…
@Jarrod Halsey,
lol, i call it like i see it.
about hines ward, theres been no indication or rumors about that in the burgh. really, the only prominent steeler with rampant gay rumors (that i can remember) was kordell stewart.
@The Champ, there are rumors about Polamalu too…
@Jarrod Halsey,
you ain’t gotta lie Craig.
@Jarrod Halsey, “I can hear the boos from the fellas right now. But I’ve come to realize that I’m definitely a sucka for love and if I would have slept with her,”
Just found my e crush. lol
Ok, first year in college, this little short Morehouse dude tried to talk to me. I didn’t know he was short at first b/c we were on the MARTA, but when we got up to get off, he was a tiny little thing. I just coundn’t. We exchanged numbers, but I never called him, and I never answered his calls.
I mentioned upthread that I never entertained the idea of dating a Clark or MoB man. I didn’t even consider it. In fact, I dated nearly exclusively out of the AUC, with a few “special” Morehouse friends mixed in.
Also, I’m a HBCU snob. First, I am more impressed by a man if he attended an HBCU for undergrad, and he gets even more points if it was Morehouse or Howard, and even extra points if he attend(ed) a top tier grad school after matirculating at The House and The Mecca.
I used to be a greek snob…only Alphas and Omegas got my attention in undergrad.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982…., “he was a tiny little thing. ”
I cannot handle this description before lunchtime.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982…., I used to be a greek snob…only Alphas and Omegas got my attention in undergrad.
Short story…I met a guy at an Alpha party. He was sexxie and tall, and had that nice smooth dark skin I like. I assumed he was an Alpha. Well, all was going well with the convo and everything…until he told me he was a Sigma. We exchanged numbers, but I never called, and I never answerd his call, especially since this equally secsi Alpha was checking the young Fab…. *holds head in shame, and walks away*
I’m glad I got over that silly follishness….
Here I am thinking all of the reasons I say no are b/c of personal preferences!
I’ve turned down dudes for a whole bunch of reasons.
- sweaty palms
-abnormally long fingers
-dirty shoes
-wearing reebok classics
-timbs that are too big
-chapped lips
-ashy knuckles
-dudes that try to hard to get your attention will get ignored.
-being too loud in public
-looking/acting “extra hood”.
-crooked hairline
-pit stains
-not liking punk rock or any other form of music other than hip hop and R&B.
I was shopping at a PacSun one day and this sexy skater boy was giving me the eye while he tried on shoes. Dude gets up and proceeds to walk over to me….. and he had the absolute gayest walk I’ve ever seen on a dude in my life. I just turned and walked right out the store. That hurt my heart.
In Crabtree mall on a saturday with my sister killing time… these “hood star wanna be” looking dudes was coming our way. Now, my sis is happy cuz that’s her type of dudes. Me, not so much. I have no desire to be the “good girl” in your “hood dream”.
@Ro,
-timbs that are too big
do you mean too big for his feet, or just a giant footed man rocking tims?
My moments of of shallow @ss-hole ness
When I was in the 5th grade I turned down a girl b/c her socks were long
I turned down this girl because her backside was wide instead of a round bubble.
I took this woman out and she had her shirt open to show a little cleavage. She had some type of mark or something that looked like somebody did a holeshot on a hayabusa on her chest. Never called her back after that date.
@Humble_One, “When I was in the 5th grade I turned down a girl b/c her socks were long”
Hate for long songs.. I do believe you are my soul brother. lol
I dismissed a dude b/c he referred to breakfast as breaffiss. I HATE that!!!
@K.,
Oh sh!t – funny as hell!
I was talking to some dude and his hatred of vegetables cropped up in the convo. He then proudly stated that the only vegetables he liked were oranges!
Me: *Blank stare*. He never saw me again!
@YGB, Vegetables? Orange? What the effe?
@Nicki Sunshine,
…dead.
@K.,
LMAO!! Not Breafiss!
@K., LMAO. I dated a guy that did that.. he would also call our movie theatre the ‘cin-a-mess’
Wow, no wonder folks be single fo-eva! Stay classy VSB! We got issues.
Champ, that was me! Hence my name??? nia??? I’m Gretchen!!! I was wonderin why you aint call!! Is that all it was? You coulda called me “Gee”!!
Oh well, yo breath was stankin anyway.
@nia,
gretchen is one of those names you cant unknow or unsee. once its there, its forever etched into your brain, like a bad dream or a kathy bates nude scene
@The Champ,
Like Eunice or Cleofus. or Wycovious (there was a dude I went to college with called that or something like it. I cant remember the spelling. I used to call him Mount Vesuvius. He was a BIG dude too so it fit)
I’m known by my friends as a “soul searcher” buuuuuut
any man who:
-wears skinny jeans ( If the size you choose to wear is smaller than mine we have a problem)
-cannot hold his liquor
-is shorter than me (I’m only 5’1” so If you can’t rally at least a 5’6”, there’s no hope for you)
-smacks or makes any other weird noise when eating (makes my skin crawl)
-fast talkers (talk so fast to you like they’re tryina run game on you or give you a sales pitch it’s also usually is accompanied by several shallow compliments in rapid fire succession i.e. You so sexxy! sprinkled between a spiel about what he does for a living and where he went to school…if any (usually these are New Yorkers (sorry)))
-dirty nails
-rude to others
-not “chivalrous”
-chapped lips
-smokers
-non- readers
Will be dismissed immediately
@Happy Meal,
9
this was the over/under on the amount of people who’d read this entry and just name their pet peeves. since its 10:30 already and you’re the first one, i’m thinking the number should have been lower. maybe 4.
***i know you’re new, and new readers need a while to catch up, but i still gotta jab you a bit
***
@The Champ,
upon further review of the play…you got a point
however, those things that make my skin crawl don’t reflect on who they are as men or as potential bfs (except for maybe the fast talkin and the rudeness) yet I’ve still determined they weren’t ready for primetime because of traits they could not control or a few “correctable” habits.
@Happy Meal,
Ooooh I can not stand a fast talker, and I hate being called baby or sexy …. That is too aggravating, can you approach me correctly please….
Shallow… Nah I’m crazy. I tend to occupy my untaskladen time w/ stuff. I add numbers together. Sign the first letters of phrases (I really need to learn this and some more languages). Not to say that I wouldn’t give someone a shot based on some physical stuffs. I actually watched a movie about the sehxuality of the people who are handicapped. If a chick ain’t got the zodiac #s. I know ZODIAC #S? Yeah zodiac #s. One of my sophomore years Young Wu got hurt in the heart by a butterbody chick. So I investigated the #s to find out our incompatibility. The science and my inner thoughts (which were telling me that things and people were on a cycle something like a 4 year cycle) that I can beat this game. I can get those same butterflies in my belly just like 4th grade w/ miss A.A. Then the exfiance happened. There was some minutia I ignored that bit me. That and her baggage. But I’m not ignoring anymore. So any 22 yr old gemini sagittarius libra or aries holla @chaboy. I need to quit this shyt here.
@WuDaMan,
thats another future vsb subtopic: whats worse, the butterface or the butterbody?
@The Champ,
OMG that’s a tough call.
@WuDaMan,
I am so proud of myself for being able to decipher a “Wu-ism” on an empty stomach!
So you’re 22?
@Ms. Sula,
eahahaha no. Just made 31 last month. I declare one of these days I’m going to express a complete thought. & people’s comments will just be responses purely responses not ‘I beat the labrynth that is WuDaMan’s daily puzzle.’
Here’s the rationalle. Chinese Zodiac is based on the Chinese lunar calendar year not month like sun signs. & a 4 year age differance is usually a compatable pair. W/ 1 caviat it is usually not an elemental match. So I opt for the 8 years younger than me.
Lol! Kick the mathmatics, sun…spit them darts, B!
@WuDaMan,
Ha ha ha! Gotcha and it’s brilliant.
And I forgot one very important one…. space invaders….If I have not invited you into my personal space…why are you 2 inches from my face, sucking up all the good oxygen n shyt?
said people also have a tendency to be too touchy feely too soon, and tend not to notice that I’m backin away slighty because of discomfort, not cat n mouse and thus narrow in for the kill prematurely
*** looks around for the nearest exit***
@Happy Meal,
“space invaders”
Oh man…good point!
Like Lil O’ said in his classic song “Back, Back” –Give me 50 feet.
@miss t-lee,
Don’t try to give me dap, trick you ain’t no kin to me!
Seriously, hit me up when you come to the H.
I met this guy at a bar one night and he was great. He was hot as hell, smart, funny and had mad conversation and a beautiful smile. He was just so right. Things were progressing famously and then he ordered a drink. It was pink. … pink. That was just a wrap I just can’t take it. Men sipping lame ass drinks is a no fly zone for me. If there’s an umbrella or too much fruit or it has a cutesy name and comes in a souvenir glass, I’m not gonna be able to look dude in the face without extreme mockery.
@AstralTraveler,
theres a man rule about this somewhere, but i forgot the exact wording. maybe someone else can help me out with this
@AstralTraveler,
He got a Raspberry Tini. Easy on the tini? Aawww thats not masculine at all.
@AstralTraveler,
My brother always orders Shirley Temples when we go to dinner. My dad clowned him and warned him not to do that on dates.
@Dom,
A guy I knew in law school would order Shirley Temples, and could not understand why he got clowned. But, he was soft as light bread, so he may have had some other issues.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
It is pretty funny. We all went to dinner last night and they gave him like ten cherries floating on top of his drink. It was literally the frutiest thing Ive seen in months.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982…., you shall not casually mention “light bread” in this post, lol
I see today is slowly turning into another famous VSB dealbreakers convo.
I don’t think I’m a shallow person, I usually treat everyone well. The two most shallow things I’ve done 1. Stopped talking to a girl when I met her roommate/good friend who was stylin on her in every way imaginable. 2. Kicked this girl out my house because she complained about me watching football.
Also LA VSBers I’m coming to town next week, whats good with that happy hour?
@Dorian G.,
i see you’re advertising for a la happy…you should pick a place/set a time and wait for the magic to take place lol
@maria,
I’m not even familiar with the area tho. Y’all should pick a place and allow me to grace y’all with my presence.
@Dorian G.,
I see today is slowly turning into another famous VSB dealbreakers convo.
the over/under right now is 9. wanna take that bet?
@The Champ,
I’ll take that bet
I’ve dismissed men for the following:
- High voice. This was good dude otherwise but I couldn’t get past the Mariah Carey-esque pitch of his voice. He left a voicemail one day and I listened to it for a good 30 minutes and decided I was young and there were other good dudes with bass in their voice available.
- Open mouth when not speaking. I can’t STAND THIS! Close your mouth!
- High waist/bubble butt dudes. Pootie from I Love NY is the prime example of this. Hate it! That shape just boggles the mind…
@Datalore,
- High voice. This was good dude otherwise but I couldn’t get past the Mariah Carey-esque pitch of his voice. He left a voicemail one day and I listened to it for a good 30 minutes and decided I was young and there were other good dudes with bass in their voice available.
yeah, you cant trust baseless voiced dudes.
@Datalore,
“- Open mouth when not speaking. I can’t STAND THIS! Close your mouth!”
Cletus the slack-jawed yokel would def get looked at sideways
@Luvvie,
Awww, you got something against Puffy?
ok this one is automatic, for obvious reasons, but met someone, exchanged numbers, cute & decent phone chat…1 meet up, after “getting over flu” and appearance of suspicious bump near mouth area…don’t have to ever call me again, or text, or smoke signal my as$, too thru…yea, might just be a fever blister, but still, no thanks
which, speakin of bumps, razor bumps on back of head and/or facial beard…ewwwwwwwwwww, take your dirty razor using self the eff on… bumps anywhere, is def a “i’m runnin away”
@maria,
so i take it you’re not a fan of bumps?
I stopped talking to a dude because he never used question marks in his text messaging. He’d be like:
YOU WANNA COME OVER TOMORROW!!!!!
WHERE WILL YOU BE LATER ON!!!!
WE GOING TO THE MOVIES LATER!!!!!
Sir, are you asking me or telling me? And also, why is everything in caps with so many exclamation points? Why are you yelling? I just couldn’t do it lol
@Pretty Please,
f*ck dismissal, this is grounds for murder
@The Champ,
I agree; I’m pretty sure you’d get off if you used this as a defense.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
i wouldnt vote to convict. that is pure foolishness… 1. theres other punctuation. look into it. and 2. you cant be THAT damn excited to send me a text about what im doin right now. thats false advertising. you, sir, are a liar…
@Pretty Please,
freakin’ hilarious….lmao!!!
@Pretty Please,
I’ve dismissed men based on how they write texts also. If your texts use too many abbreviations…cut.
We are adults…text like one.
@Datalore,
Also emoticons. I don’t know how they look on your screen, but on my phone, they come out pretty effin gay
@Me fail english?,
but I thought b*tches loved the smiley face!!
@blackberry molasses,
I hate them sh!ts….cuz I’m the last real ninja alive.
@blackberry molasses,
i know i do!
@Pretty Please,
Good you got out when you did. Sounds like he coulda potentially Chris Browned ya.
Funny how his name has turned into a verb.
@Pretty Please
BWHAHAHAHAHA
@Pretty Please, i fired someone once for this offence. just couldn’t do it anymore…
you work for me, why the HELL are you shouting at me in capital letters with too many exclamation marks?? crazy!
@superwoman, this reminds me of that seinfeld episode when Elaine stopped talking to a guy who didn’t use an exclamation point in a phone message about her friend having a baby. lol
@Miss Patterson,
I love Seinfeld.
@Pretty Please,
…best laugh of the day. i just burned calories.
I feel so petty and it wasnt his fault. But I once went out on a date with this great dude and we were vibing lovely. I mean he could have been THE ONE. So I am sitting at the table giving him the once over and there was something poking out in the middle of his shirt. It was too far up to be a woody but it looked like one! So we continued talking and having a good time but every few minutes that thing kept distracting me.
So at some point the discussion turned to being kids and injuries and such. We are sharing stories of tonsillectomies and big wheel injuries and then he casually says OH AND I HAVE THIS. Dude raises his shirt and has a hernia that looks like a limp DINGY. I swear the shape and everything. I was horrified.
I am big on spooning and the thought of that thing poking me in my back totally outweighed how great a guy he was. I couldnt wait for that date to end and cant remember his name. I just refer to him as “DD” short for DOUBLE D**K
@Yaa,
i just threw up and almost had a seizure reading that. groossssss
@Yaa,
LOL!!
@Yaa,
“I am big on spooning and the thought of that thing poking me in my back totally outweighed how great a guy he was”
*dry heave* OMG!!!!
@Yaa,
ewwww! I’m so happy I only had coffee this morning… I really hope you weren’t eating when you noticed it
@Yaa, you had me @ dingy
@Yaa,
I am in tears trying not to laugh out loud at my desk!
@Yaa, oh no! DD needs love too. couldn’t he have the hernia operated on? i don’t get it, was it a surgery gone awry?
@Miss Patterson, Girl I dont know. I know it wasnt his fault. I blame his mama! Old folks used to say tape a penny on it back in the day LOL. Maybe she didnt have change laying around. I DONT KNOW!!
I mean I guess that is one of those things that you could work through and around but I just pictured myself being INTIMATE and grabbing for the wrong thing or some type of unwanted double penetration. TOO MUCH FOR ME!!
Oh sweet Jesus. I cannot.
The shallowest, strangest, and most shamefully superficial reason I’ve ever had for dismissing a potential mate?
- Ugly Feet
- Consistently comparing herself to Carrie Bradshaw of Sex in the City.
- Goofy walk
- Having the name Mildred (yeah, she was black)
- Having a laugh pitch that was comparable to an Aborigine sacrifice ritual.
- Having one perfectly arched eye brow and drawing on the other (I guess she thought no one would notice…she was wrong).
@AkShone,
I know a black Mildred. And she’s 50 and kinda large. It fits. But if she was young and skinny, I bet it’d be awkward
@Luvvie,
I knew a young hot Mildred. mh mh mh ended up starting a family early.
@AkShone,
- Ugly Feet
10000000% co-sign.
@AkShone,
- Having one perfectly arched eye brow and drawing on the other (I guess she thought no one would notice…she was wrong).
WTF?
@Dom,
She must have lost a bet or passed out first or got punked. Or was punking AkShone… lol
@WuDaMan,
LOL I sure hope so. I know I’d be looking around for cameras like “is this a joke?”
I don’t know, but I just kept thinking to myself how she’s gotta be 1 beer short of a 6 pack.
@AkShone,
Heh, heh my great-grandma’s name was Mildred. She was 2520 though
@Me fail english?,
She was Blewish (Black and Jewish), so I kinda just put two and two together and figured it was her grandmomma’s name or had some sentimental famly link.
@AkShone,
Dead @ Blewish!
Y’all are killing me!
A few weeks ago, I was entertaining a girl that was basically perfect. She had a brain, a body, and the most beautiful face. A few days into our little affair, we started getting physical. BIG MISTAKE. I was getting ready to go for what I know, when I met something that I didn’t; a skin tag that had to be at least a half-inch long on her upper back…
Let’s just say that my phone’s alarm went off and I faked the heck out of a family emergency…
I kind of feel bad…but…ewww
@De La Strait,
Hold up was it a keyloid? Tattoo? bite mark? Subdermal tracking device?
@De La Strait,
Skin tag? That sounds disgusting.
@Voiceofreason,
http://rad.usuhs.mil/derm/lecture_notes/Images/skin_tag.jpg
this is a skin tag. poor baby, i’m sure she couldn’t help it. this is why health insurance should be free. there are a lot of stipulations for cosmetic procedures within people’s health insurance plans.
@Miss Patterson,
OMG! My face FELL when I clicked on the link. This ish needs a warning attatched: VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK!
@De La Strait,
…d@mn, like a handle?
I once dismissed a guy named Hubert. I just couldn’t get passed the name and he refused to go by any nicknames.
Other reasons for dismissing guys:
- not liking sports (there’s something wrong if a man doesn’t like sports)
- proud of not reading or being educated
- talking down to others
- fake and try to pretend they’re something they’re not
- call too much or want to spend all of their time with me (too clingy)
@Leila,
- proud of not reading or being educated
- talking down to others
- fake and try to pretend they’re something they’re not
- call too much or want to spend all of their time with me (too clingy)
These are all legit reasons to reject someone.
@Leila,
The nae Hubert” just made me cackle. Damn. The 2520s are lookin in my office 2 c why
Well, it seems like some folks tripped and fell into the Deal Breakers post again…
In terms of shallowness, I’ve dumped dudes for wearing K-Swiss shoes, for having a barking laugh (I couldn’t tell if he was laughing or hollering at me), for not liking cereal, and for not knowing what Microsoft Outlook was.
@Kindred Smile,
The K-Swiss shoes dump is a VERY valid reason. Like how I’d totally side-eye anyone rocking Saucony’s in ’09. They were HOT in 1997-1998
@Luvvie,
Saucony make great running shoes…. Maybe he was just coming from a 6-mile jog in the park? No? No?
Ok.
@Kindred Smile,
for not liking cereal
LMAO! On another note, I had to get rid of a dude for getting a tude with me about “I said I needed to use the internet, not a web browser!”
I’m shocked that the Champ met a sister named “Gretchen” on WAMO night of all times. WAMO night can bring out some of the tackiest, corniest people Pittsburgh has to offer. I’ve been to WAMO events for entertainment purposes (just watching some of these ninjas makes me laugh hysterically) and I’ve rejected men simply because I met them on WAMO night. But in my opinion I wasn’t being shallow, I was using good sense.
I ALWAYS reject men with cornrows. I know it’s shallow, but I don’t care. Grown men should not rock the hairstyle I rocked when I was a little girl in the summer because my mom didn’t want to redo my hair after I went swimming.
On a side note, when and where are we having a VSB happy hour in Pgh? I think we should make a decision today. I don’t mind helping to organize it.
And excessive chest hair. Especially nappy chest hair. Taco meat makes me ill.
@Voiceofreason, wait for me!!! i’m coming!!!
AAAAWWWWW!!! Thanks for the shoutout, Champie!
May your newsboy hats stay perched on your head in flyness (Amen!)
@Luvvie,
You know out here in the great state of Philadelphia they are calling those hats ‘a jeff.’ odd hunh
“Hips don’t lie”
I’ve talked to a guy who was sitting at the bar, and when he got up to get his wallet out his pocket, the bottom half of him was shaped like a woman (hips + butt). Yeah ummm about that – no happening.
@V Renee,
ehahaha maybe he get it from his Mama.
@V Renee, LMAO! That and a dude with a girl a$$. Total turn off.
This post was great cause I had no idea where it was going.
I have not read all of the posts but I nixed a guy cause he ordered an amaretto sour… Just gay. And any man that doesn’t like sports so can’t get it from me.
This post was great… Cause I had no idea where it was going.
I have not read all the posts but I once nixed a guy cause he ordered an amaretto sour… Just gay. Also any man that is clueless about sports so can’t get it from me.
@T-Dawg!,
Amaretto sours are THE ISH! But yeah, you right. A guy shouldnt be gettin those. That’s right up there with a guy ordering an appletini (easy on the ‘tini)
@Luvvie,
Ameretto Sours are my drink!
@Dom,
I’m a bartender and real ole heads be orderin amaretto sours …… still surprises me….I just pretend they are the designated driver cuz they are usually with their also real old S.O.
Maybe you should try it?…lol
@Happy Meal,
Hey, I guess I’m old then. These young chaps today be on them new fad dranks. Keep your Blue Motorcycle, and your Sex on the Beach, and all ya ‘tini’s.
Colored contacts. Can’t do it. So gay. This dude actually tried to justify it by sayin…”Naw…see. They hazel.” Stop it.
@nia,
Guys with colored contacts usually have texturizers too. Men with S-Curls have to go.
@Voiceofreason,
As do men with braids and locs. Come to think of it, I don’t like waves either.
I’m a one-blade kinda chick. Maybe even a half on some dudes.
@Me fail english?,
LMAO…so basically, you want a nappy-headed brotha that doesn’t brush his hair?
@AkShone,
lol. Those are the choices? Either get waves or you’re not allowed to brush your hair? Aint no naps, hence the one-blade my friend.
Not a big fan of “hairstyles” on men.
@Me fail english?,
“Not a big fan of “hairstyles” on men.”
some naps ain’t a style..its a way of life – blessed be the dreads
@Me fail english?,
You mean like Rastas? I agree with BBMo, I definitely can’t mess with a man with “living” hair Much respect tho and one love
@Me fail english?,
you dropping the deliciously be-loc-ed* mens??
well I thank you. (picks up the goodies passed over by Me fail)
*deliciously be-loc-ed= well maintained locs. all sloppy loc rockers need not apply
@blackberry molasses,
sista/brother locs…huh??? this one has been a hot topic in my crib….
@KingPine,
when i say sloppy locs I mean that it looks like some kind of nappy animal has taken up residence on your head and is multiplying through “budding”
like you just don’t give a good gotdamn about whatsagoinson on top of your head.
to me it suggests a lack of care for ones self. and if you don’t care for yourself, how in the sam hill you gon’ care about me?
@nia,
in the mid 90′s I had hazel contacts in high school, you can hate all you want but the ladies loved it!
don’t judge me lol
@Cornell Westside,
You were tryna be a pretty boy, huh?
@Cornell Westside,
Thank you for having enough courage to come out to your VSB fam. Your lifestyle has now become more accepted, and it is even possible for you to legally marry in some states.
@nia,
thank you, it feels good to be accepted haha.
ladies you probably know this already but we as men know that, if we’re trying to find wifey, extreme tactics like color contacts and sunglasses at night are exercises in futility.
However, if we’re just trying to bag something short term, then those tactics are actually a short cut…we don’t know WHY it works, we just know that it does. Lol.
Look at the bright side, we love women so much that we alter our attributes in the pursuit of y’all.
*exits quickly before they call “bullshyt”*
@Cornell Westside,
Calls “bullshyt”.
@Cornell Westside,
*Side-eyeing Cornell for the hazel contacts*
@Luvvie,
don’t look too long…you might fall under my spell haha
@nia,
I just went to the bank and saw a dude rocking some blue contacts with baggie jeans and a hoodie. Plus, he had a huge “diamond” earring. And trying to act all thugish.
I thought about this post, and shook my head at the tomfoolery.
@nia,
Colored contacts on males and females make me want to explode.
I deleted a really really hot man because his name is Jean. Don’t judge me. Oh, and I deleted a couple of dudes because I can see where their hairlines were heading in at least the next 5 years…. shame on me.
@Caroline du Nord
Ohhh the runaway hairline is a good one!
Ok, I have another one. About 3 weeks ago, I lied my face off to this dude who works produce in Kroger. I just couldn’t. And he was cute, and really nice, but at the end of the day, he works at a grocery store…full-time. And not even in management. smh….
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
LOL! I concur!
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
I feel you… I would have done the same. *shame emoticon*
I’m not shallow and havent dismissed a potential bf for shallow reasons. BUT IF I WAS a few dudes would have been cancelled for:
1. Having the Name Shaffon
2. Having ashy feet, in public, with sandals
3. Using bad grammer
They stayed on the roster though, until they actually did something that warranted dismissal.
@Dom,
I’d never date a man who wore sandals. Aint my type of hype
@Me fail english?,
I just dont get that mentality. I would hate it if my feet were all cramped up in some boots or shoes on a 90 degree day! As long as their situation is moisturized and the dont have corn/hammer toe, I say let em breathe!
@Dom,
Too neo-soul for me. I dont do Eric Benets. Seems soft
@Me fail english?,
Wow. We can def hang out then. There will be no cok blocking…
@Me fail english?,
Bwhahahah….I think it should be against the law to rock man sandals.
Champ’s comment on the hypocrisy of discriminating against short men was on point.
I ain’t short, but short people have as much control over their height as unattrative, or semi-attractive people have over their height.
If the shorties need to stay with shorties, then the uglies need to stay with the uglies, or else get their minds right about having to do more to catch an attractive person.
Just seems right to me.
@Big Man,
“I ain’t short,…”
Your name suggests otherwise.
@nia
::snickering::
@Big Man,
Short men have a tendency to be @$$holes. They can’t help being short but they can get over their stupid Napoleon complex. Short men with “tall” personalities have no problem getting women. I see it all the time.
@Voiceofreason,
preach it, girl!
Wearing a class ring.
@CreoleInDC,
Especially a high school one after age 18.
@Voiceofreason,
I think the high school class ring is a joke (if you intend to go to college.) But I wear my university ring all of the time so I can’t hate on someone wearing one.
@CreoleInDC,
What if the class ring is of your Master’s degree? lol and yes they have those
@Luvvie, It was a class ring of his Master’s degree. I’ve just always thought that was corny as heck. I’d even blink at a dude wearing his Super Bowl ring at a non-Super Bowl-ish function. Put that ish in a display case and show it off when you entertain. In my mind there is just no need for a man to wear jewelry other than his wedding ring, a watch and cuff links. And a gold chain? ON A MAN????? CLUTCH THE PEARLS! THE HORROR!
@CreoleInDC,
And a gold chain? ON A MAN????? CLUTCH THE PEARLS! THE HORROR!
Haha. Toussaint just died his thousandth death
@Me fail english?,
lmao
Black men that date white girls. That just makes me look at them different. Sorry.
**runnin for dear life**
@nia,
That’s not bad. I feel the same way about dudes who date chicks much younger than them. If you’re 28 and used to mess with a 19 year old it is SO over
@nia,
YESSSSS…. just YESSS
Oh wait. That aint shallow. Thats a dealbreaker. Oh nooo! I don got reeled into it!
@nia,
If he USED to then I dont see what the problem is. He’s in to black women if he’s talking to you now right?
@Dom,
as someone who has dated and wouldnt have a problem again dating someone outside the race, i know its hypocritical…but there is just something about a black man who only dates black women that is alluring. im not sure why, its just there…
@nia,
Ok another man I can’t respect. The dude that used to get verbally/physically abused by his girlfriend. I know I should be all compassionate and nurturing. But the seventh-grader in me kinda just wants to hurt his feelings too. *ashamed*
Maybe I should have posted that anonymously…
@nia,
From where I was sitting, it seemed like I was taking only the good for nuthin’s off the market for a while so you weren’t losing out on much.
@nia,
For what it’s worth, a triflin’ man is a triflin’ man no matter who he dates…at least that’s what I’ve found in my experience.
bald headed women….
guitar hate
pancake asses
@KingPine,
pancake @ss is the worst. especially when it’s so flat that it looks like it’s rolling inward.
@Humble_One,
lol….aka invisible ass…..
abomination
@Humble_One,
Not the concave backside! Aw damn
@KingPine,
bald headed women….
do you mean really short hair or Popeye bald?
The reason I ask is that the rising popularity of Amber Rose has seen a lot of men professing their love/hate for follicle-challenged women. Meanwhile I can’t name a single one I know personally. Are these men lying for attention and isht? Stumped.
@Me fail english?,
“do you mean really short hair or Popeye bald?”
chick went from head of locks to straight up moonshinin
it’s one thing if it goes naturally but in this case…it didn’t
i almost shed a tear
@KingPine,
for shedding her own hair? *incredulous look*
Hon, that’s a tad more than shallow… borders on controlling.
@Ms. Sula,
i got hair issues..what can i say…lol
If their toenails and fingernails dont match, “b*tch is that plum and RED? I can’t even do this b*tch I’m outta here!” – Katt Williams
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtaIqvKvW6Y
ok seriously though, I live in Philly and the girls here talk ugly. It’s hard to explain, you just have to hear it for yourself to understand that words like “jawn” and “bul” coming from female lips makes my p3nis soft…not to mention they have bad accents.
Usually that’s how chicks have gotten their numbers deleted from my phone lately.
@Cornell Westside,
“jawn” and “bol” and all their usages, appropriations, prefixes and suffixes make my left eye twitch and causes me to want to cut out the lingual muscle of the person who is speaking.
I’ve left people alone for having stupid voices, talking too slow, big heads, bad tattoos and effed up hairlines. I’m not sure that’s shallow though.
@Me fail english?,
Yes it is.
Ok so we all are shallow to some degree and there’s nothing wrong with that. We all have preferences, mine happens to be very dark-skinned women with mutant @sses…random i know…I just wanted to type that.
When you encounter a potential suitor who has an “anomaly” how do you communicate your discomfort, if you do at all?
@Cornell Westside,
My shallow stuff is usually something they can’t change. I just punk out and avoid them
@Cornell Westside,
hmm touchy one. N good question period. If it wasn’t obvious when you first met em. It’s all good to bring it up. If it was obvious get it out there earlier. Be very funny and apologetic. Maybe they been working on it. Maybe there’s no cure. In case of the latter you gots to decide weather you should walk away or stay. FIGHT OR FLIGHT.
I went out once w/ eff n I got up on this big booty girl n was dancin real close n smelled her hair and it smelled like new carpet. I backed up off of it and went to the bar. I can’t stand weave or wigs. She even had big juggies. but nope I couldn’t get past that iew I can’ even type it.
@WuDaMan,
LMAO! At least it aint smell like mildewed carpet. You gotta find the brighter side of that hair hat.
@Luvvie,
Great idea. I guess @ the time the brightere side was me not having to be w/ her the rest of the night.
@WuDaMan,
LOL!! And Luvvie, is there really a bright side to “new carpet smell” weave?
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982…., i thought new weave was supposed to smell like barbie hair. no? i’ve never had a weavie.
@Miss Patterson,
I’ve never had a weave either. I was going off Wu’s horrendous description.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
So you see some of the reason for my sevier disdain for faux collagen. I be this is the work of Jim Jones. OOOOOOOOHHHH I DON’T LIKE HIM!
A man with hips… I can’t.
Men that can’t pronounce their ‘str’ correctly. Saying words like ‘skrawberry’, ‘skrong’, ‘skreet’ – I’ve never understood this speech impediment but it annoys me to no end.
@Tazzee
::chuckling hard::
@Tazzee,
I thought people made this up!
I’m from Philly but I live in DC. I’m in Adams Morgan and a cutie approaches me. Tall, muscular nice smile. . . And Nike boots:(
I took his number grudgingly and saved him as Nike boot Ant
Never answered the phone. Viva la Timberlands!
Also I meant to add this to the lame/corny list yesterday. . .
Men who rock non prescription glasses. Met a cutie who I thought wore glasses. Found out on date two they were “just for show”. There was not date three.
Not sure how this board feels on the matter but hear me out.
As a person whose vision is def less than 20/20 I take offense.
If I started riding around in a hover round cause they were stylish and got me through the mall faster you d judge the he’ll outta me, right?
Right.
And don’t get me started on the glasses with no lenses. Womp and Womp.
@AngelicNastyness,
And don’t get me started on the glasses with no lenses.
LOL. Who does this? Is that a DMV thing?
@Me fail english?,
I’ve seen it in Philly and DC.. Backpackers mostly
@AngelicNastyness,
you have to get familiar with the local customs…how you gonna hate on a DC nucca that wears Nike Boots? Lol.
You must not like New Yorkers that wear Yankee fitteds too huh?
@Cornell Westside,
I was gonna say the same thing. I’m not a DC dude, but I have friends from DC and that is THE boot of choice…black on black Nike boots. All I can say is you’re gonna be turning down a lot of DC dudes.
Sh*t, Wale made a whole song about ‘em.
@Cornell Westside,
Oh I’ve been here 5 years, I’m familiar and I don’t like em.
Ironically, most of the dudes I meet in DC are transplants anyway so it hasn’t been an issue.
Funny thing is that from what I hear, Nike boots tryin to make surge up in Philly:-(
@Cornell Westside,
“how you gonna hate on a DC nucca that wears Nike Boots? Lol. ”
Because it is a hiking boot that cannot be found in outdoor gear stores like REI. I’m not so impressed just because it’s made by nike (as the outdoorsy type I know its elitist and shallow but i’m just sayin… lol)
@AngelicNastyness,
“As a person whose vision is def less than 20/20 I take offense.And don’t get me started on the glasses with no lenses.”
My 20/20 vision decided to “peace out” on me when I was 7, the above is upsetting.
*throat punch*
@miss t-lee,
Somebody feels my pain.
Feet.
I’m sorry. If you have the nerve to wear open toed heels at least have some good toes to put in em..
Shaquille O’neal feet will get you dismissed.
Instant pink slip.
I’ve dissed a woman for the following shallow reasons:
* I took a chick out one time and when she got in the car, not only was the outfit she had sort of out there (she had the nerve to ask me if i was looking at her boobs….which I was) but she had ASHY FEET. I was trying my hardest to make an excuse to break out the cocoa butter I had in the console. Very disturbing.
2. She was big…and sloppy. Nothing wrong with a big woman but if you look like a stack of floaties at Six Flags I pass.
3. Weave and contacts: I might kick it for a while but I always have this feeling that the chick doesn’t like herself. If it’s an everyday thing I back slowly away from the deception.
@CPT Callamity,
i’m gonna have a headache…lol
@CPT Callamity,
contacts? as in, i didn’t feel like wearing my glasses (which i do own)today type of contacts? *head tilt*
or trying to switch up my eye color contacts?
@CPT Callamity,
2. She was big…and sloppy. Nothing wrong with a big woman but if you look like a stack of floaties at Six Flags I pass.
**gasping for air**
I saw this earlier and meant to comment. To my fellow Team Chunk Members, there is nothing in the team by-laws that says you can’t be a HEALTHY big girl. Get thy ass to a gym, run your block, heck get a Billy Blanks DVD (or work out to the commercial like Grandad)!! Please take care of yourself.
The pressha, ‘lesterol and diabeetus shan’t have you!!!! NOT SEXY.
1. a guy that told me his fave rapper was Jay-Z and his fave song was “Big Pimpin”
2. a guy who text messaged me one time and said, “I’m chillen”..not “chillin”..a no go.
3. a guy from sophomore year of college who had rims on a Mitsibushi Galant..i already hate rims but on a Galant
4. a guy who told me he met his last gf on MySpace
@Reci,
I’m still tryna shake a dude from last summer that said I had an “additude”
@Me fail english?,
Awww..hell nah!! The horror!! I’ve gotten “chillen” a lot. That’s why it was mentioned. I’ve also gotten, “I’m very attrackted to you.” Slay me!!
@Reci,
Lol. Girl this same dude told me he was getting into “misthif” (mischief)
Take me NOW, Lord!
@Me fail english?,
LMAO!!!! Maybe it was a typo??!!? Misthif?!?! Noooooo!!!
Awww man! How could I forget?!??
If I call him and he has music as his voice mail greeting especially slow jams? I guarantee that will be my last call.
@Reci,
Yes! and ringback tones?!?!?!
bane of my existence
@AngelicNastyness,
I hate ringback tones with a passion! But a dude with an Erykah Badu ringback tone definitely gets the ax.
@Tazzee,
What if his name is Tyrone?
@AngelicNastyness,
why do grown people do this?
JUST DUMB
Mmmmm…. I stopped dating this guy when I was in college because…. We went out to eat and the way he chewed his food… I just couldnt imagine getting married and growing old with him and having to sit across a dinner table for the rest of my life with his smacking lips…. Uggggh I still have nightmares
I was woefully unable to think of something shallow & pointless because i do these things so often that I drew a blank. Sorta like choosing cereal @ the grocery store…too many choices. My point is..i’m commenting because dammit I got a love jones for Nia Long that I fear may never be satisfied. Even though she got engaged to that one jerkoff a couple yrs ago, then gave (‘my’) poontang to that nfl player who’ll remain nameless. And that’s it.
Shallow & Pointless …..Let’s See:
Forget “Ugly-Feet”…..How about DIRTY feet. I have seem more woman than I can count with some NICE sandals or open back shoes and there HEELS or FEET are just dirty. I’m talking formal dresses bangin’ shoes…pretty toes…..fly pedicure & DIRTY FEET!!!
OR
Just being in the presence of a women and not smelling a sweet-smell or aroma. Not a perfumy smell or a deoderant smell–> Just nothing.
Also……A Sister with no inclination for physical fitness…..can be a dime piece…but don’t want to walk anywhere….thru the park, up some stairs.
Still Going…..
Women @ ANY-CLUB wearing Flip-Flops…if some nice heels require to much effort…stay home.
What is the expiration date for posting on a VSB post?? I meant to post something yesterday but my boss had the nerve to give me a deadline. Jerk…
So..my onto my shallowness…
1. his lower lip was MUCH bigger than his upper lip. He had a permanent pout.
2. He had a the T-rex syndrome.. Head was a WAAAAY bigger than the length of his arms…Proportionately OFF!
3. In college, the guys who thought that being from NY was a point in their favor. It WAS a turn on but STILL!! The fact that they knew that turned me OFF!
and scene!
4.
3.
i just realized that gretchen lucked out in the name game! although, sadly, she didnt get any lovin from the champ that night, it coulda been much worse. i knew a girl in elementary school named Dorkus. how many men do you think deleted her number?!?!
Man…where do I begin?
1. He talks loud.
2. Teeth…this one is usually the most common deal breaker. (mainly color and shape) It’s just not a priority for some, I know but geez…it’s important to me when discussing attraction. I’m…I’m…I’m…just being honest.
3. His socks were dingy. Chillin’ at the crib watching tv, you put your feet on your coffee table and I see that you didn’t bother to add clorox to the wash cycle. Next…
4. He wore sandals…just didn’t like it. I know this is a toss up for some. But for me, it’s just a turn off. Sorry. Polo, Kenneth Cole, etc… I don’t care. NO SANDALS unless you’re in a dorm, using a public shower. Just stop it.
5. His name was Antoine/Antwan/etc…you understand…please tell me you go by Ant for short…not Twan…just my opinion/preference.
@ champ:debates whether or not he was mentally, spiritually, and emotionally prepared to continue his life with a woman named “gretchen” in his address book.
lmao!!
1. Deleted one guy b\c he said jack and coke was too strong for him
2. One guy went to CUNY jr. college. CUNY is a group of community colleges in NYC
3. Other guy had on a fubu outfit
1. Goofy White Sneakers
2. Effeminate ways
3. Jacked up Blazer