Race & Politics

“greens, please” the vsb guide to questions random whites probably shouldn’t ask

flashback to the late 80’s:

an adolescence champ and his parents are at the harambee, an annual summer street festival in homewood. (for those unfamiliar with the burgh, homewood is basically pittsburgh’s version of compton, right down to the topography and the fascination with the color blue. there even seems to be a disproportionate about of cats there named “kane”) as we’re walking around, browsing african art and teasing ugly babies, an excessively earnest 40-something white woman approaches us. the young champ was initially taken aback by the fact that the excessively earnest white woman was dressed as if she was out hunting dinosaurs…

hey big guy. do you know where i can find some pigsfeet?
hey big guy. do you know where i can find some watermelon?

…too young to realize that this is usually how excessively earnest 40-something white women dress in the summertime.

anyway, the velociraptor gatherer eventually nears, extends her hand, and introduces herself. then, out of nowhere, she reveals her devious plot:

“hey she asks with enough sincerity to drown a mule, “do you all happen to know where i can buy some greens?”

being that america has supposedly entered this era of transcendentally post-racial (ha!) elephant walking, i’ve decided to devote a day to help our much, much lighter brothers and sisters out so that we can all happily join the mulatto making orgy.

you see, there still remains quite a few things that many non-blacks are unaware of, things that could possibly create unwanted friction and throat-punches at a time when we’re supposed to be coming together. today, we’ll examine the most prominent of these things, the questions you’re probably not supposed to randomly ask a black person under any circumstances.

i’ve included the “randomly” qualifier because context matters.

for instance, asking a cordial black co-worker about the history and current relevance of hbcu’s while you’re sipping frappachinos and shooting the sh*t in the break room? good!

seeing a grambling sweatshirt rocking black chick at the bus stop, and asking her if the food they feed you at black colleges makes your booty grow? bad!

basically, if you’re the lone white at an excessively hot and potentially violent inner-city arts festival, its probably not the best idea to approach a middle-aged black couple and their pre-teen son to ask them how to quickly procure greens, black-eyed peas, weed, chitterlings, or any other soulfood, because it’ll probably make them wonder (to quote my dad) “why, out of all the thousands of people there, did she pick us to ask about greens?? i mean, were we the greasiest, green-eatingest looking n*ggas there or something? sh*t, its not like they don’t sell greens at giant eagle!!“, and you don’t want black people thinking that you think they’re greasy, green-eatingest looking n*ggas.

so, good people of vsb, to insure that no “greens” questions ever happen again, lets all give all of our white brethren a chance to join into the country-wide multicultural coitus by making a list of all the questions that you’d probably be better off googling instead of actually asking a random black person.

—the champ

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't.

  • http://thephiladelphianegro.blogspot.com ThePhiladelphiaNegro

    Don’t ask me anything about no damn Watermelon.

    Word.

    • RedBeanzNRice

      @ThePhiladelphiaNegro,

      What about fried chicken?

      • http://thephiladelphianegro.blogspot.com ThePhiladelphiaNegro

        @RedBeanzNRice,

        lol. How about Hellz 2 da naw….

      • http://thephiladelphianegro.blogspot.com ThePhiladelphiaNegro

        @RedBeanzNRice,

        lol. How about Hellz 2 da naw….

    • RedBeanzNRice

      @ThePhiladelphiaNegro,

      What about fried chicken?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @ThePhiladelphiaNegro,

      how about grits?

      • http://thephiladelphianegro.blogspot.com/ ThePhiladelphiaNegro

        @The Champ,

        Grits? Hmm…I dunno. I actually might not be as upset about someone asking me about grits. I actually have gone on lengthy tirades in regards to eating them with butter,salt and pepper (as they SHOULD be eaten) or with sugar, etc (an abomination of the highest order.)

        • Marty McFly

          @ThePhiladelphiaNegro,

          Kudos and sh!t to your grits choice…..anyone not eating grits in this fashion is a communist….

        • Marty McFly

          @ThePhiladelphiaNegro,

          Kudos and sh!t to your grits choice…..anyone not eating grits in this fashion is a communist….

        • http://www.myspace.com/killa_kamizzle Killa K

          @ThePhiladelphiaNegro,

          lol. I eat my grits with everything. Salt, pepper, sugar, bacon, and egg. Yummy

          • skullylover

            @Killa K,
            Pepper, butter, break the bacon up and throw some of the eggs in there.

            The only way to eat Grits..

          • skullylover

            @Killa K,
            Pepper, butter, break the bacon up and throw some of the eggs in there.

            The only way to eat Grits..

        • http://www.myspace.com/killa_kamizzle Killa K

          @ThePhiladelphiaNegro,

          lol. I eat my grits with everything. Salt, pepper, sugar, bacon, and egg. Yummy

      • http://thephiladelphianegro.blogspot.com/ ThePhiladelphiaNegro

        @The Champ,

        Grits? Hmm…I dunno. I actually might not be as upset about someone asking me about grits. I actually have gone on lengthy tirades in regards to eating them with butter,salt and pepper (as they SHOULD be eaten) or with sugar, etc (an abomination of the highest order.)

      • http://steppinoffthepier.wordpress.com aWickedRose

        Fuck grits. They’re gross. Cream of Wheat for the motherfuckin’ win.

        *ducks*

        I make bomb ass greens though which earns my black card back. So ease up off me.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @ThePhiladelphiaNegro,

      how about grits?

  • http://thephiladelphianegro.blogspot.com ThePhiladelphiaNegro

    Don’t ask me anything about no damn Watermelon.

    Word.

  • http://www.djednice.com DJ Ed Nice

    You know… I no nothing about greens… I actually can’t stand greens lol… I’ve been accused of being a non-black black lmao… So what that said, Hey Champ; where can I find some greens? lmaooooo

    • http://www.museacdonline.com pgh muse

      @DJ Ed Nice,

      BLASPHEMY! The drop squad will b arriving shortly to repo your card de negritude. Thanks.

      • Gem-nastics

        i think ALL ppl should like some type of greens. i’m a fan of collard myself, but if cooked right, i’d throw down on some turnip and mustard greens too. even add a little cabbage for a different shade of green.

      • Gem-nastics

        i think ALL ppl should like some type of greens. i’m a fan of collard myself, but if cooked right, i’d throw down on some turnip and mustard greens too. even add a little cabbage for a different shade of green.

    • http://www.museacdonline.com pgh muse

      @DJ Ed Nice,

      BLASPHEMY! The drop squad will b arriving shortly to repo your card de negritude. Thanks.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @DJ Ed Nice,

      welcome and sh*t. and congrats on being the second person this week to get welcomed and banned at the same time

      • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

        @The Champ,

        this is like a new phenomenon……

        @DJ Ed Nice

        Welcome!!!

        **Diva Dust v. 2.0 ™**

        And here’s hoping you aren’t banned permanently.

      • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

        @The Champ,

        this is like a new phenomenon……

        @DJ Ed Nice

        Welcome!!!

        **Diva Dust v. 2.0 ™**

        And here’s hoping you aren’t banned permanently.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @DJ Ed Nice,

      welcome and sh*t. and congrats on being the second person this week to get welcomed and banned at the same time

    • SouthernGirl

      @DJ Ed Nice,

      welcome!!!

      *shooting gold stars*

    • SouthernGirl

      @DJ Ed Nice,

      welcome!!!

      *shooting gold stars*

    • ofloveandotherdemons

      @DJ Ed Nice,
      Don’ t worry all bans are easily overturned by bribing the right person. By which I mean just offer Champ some breakfast and you good to go. (No tofu though, he seems to break out in hives over the stuff.)

    • ofloveandotherdemons

      @DJ Ed Nice,
      Don’ t worry all bans are easily overturned by bribing the right person. By which I mean just offer Champ some breakfast and you good to go. (No tofu though, he seems to break out in hives over the stuff.)

    • http://www.myspace.com/killa_kamizzle Killa K

      @DJ Ed Nice,

      I don’t like greens either. But it’s because i grew up eating calaloo which is the jamaican equivalent of greens. lol

    • http://www.myspace.com/killa_kamizzle Killa K

      @DJ Ed Nice,

      I don’t like greens either. But it’s because i grew up eating calaloo which is the jamaican equivalent of greens. lol

  • http://www.djednice.com DJ Ed Nice

    You know… I no nothing about greens… I actually can’t stand greens lol… I’ve been accused of being a non-black black lmao… So what that said, Hey Champ; where can I find some greens? lmaooooo

  • http://trintrinsez.blogspot.com trin-trin

    1. Why can y’all say “nigga” and we can’t?

    Seriously, between elementary and middle school, that was the question of the day

    2. Do you find white boys cute?

    3. Can you teach me to fry chicken?

    4. Can you put those french-braid looking things in my hair? (Tho I may reconsider if they actually call them cornrows)

    5. When you perm your hair, does it make it curly?

    6. Why don’t you wash your hair everyday?

    I kno I have more but this is it for now

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      @trin-trin, #6 was posed to me every other day from 1st through 11th grade.

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      @trin-trin, #6 was posed to me every other day from 1st through 11th grade.

    • Resident GRitS

      @trin-trin,

      #6 was going to be my addition to the list. good call.

    • Resident GRitS

      @trin-trin,

      #6 was going to be my addition to the list. good call.

    • Yaa

      @trin-trin, #6 is funny. I had a long conversation with a white co-worker about this and I still dont think she got it!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

        @Yaa,

        That question doesnt bother me so much. I think thats valid. At least they’re trying to genuinely learn something as opposed to being ignorant and stereotypical.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

        @Yaa,

        That question doesnt bother me so much. I think thats valid. At least they’re trying to genuinely learn something as opposed to being ignorant and stereotypical.

      • SouthernGirl

        @Yaa,

        I’ve had many a convo with white girlfriends about this over the years. trust me, they get it now. lol.

      • SouthernGirl

        @Yaa,

        I’ve had many a convo with white girlfriends about this over the years. trust me, they get it now. lol.

    • Yaa

      @trin-trin, #6 is funny. I had a long conversation with a white co-worker about this and I still dont think she got it!

    • miss t-lee

      @trin-trin,
      1. Why can y’all say “nigga” and we can’t?

      Seriously, between elementary and middle school, that was the question of the day

      Yep back in high school I used to get this question alot, along with, “why do ya’ll have BET?”
      We don’t have a white entertainment television channel.
      Me *side eye*

      • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

        @miss t-lee,

        We don’t have a white entertainment television channel.

        To this my response ALWAYS was…

        Yeah, you do. Its called CBS, ABC, Fox, MTV, VH1, HBO…. that’s prally why you didn’t recognize it. They named it wrong. Write a letter or something.

      • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

        @miss t-lee,

        We don’t have a white entertainment television channel.

        To this my response ALWAYS was…

        Yeah, you do. Its called CBS, ABC, Fox, MTV, VH1, HBO…. that’s prally why you didn’t recognize it. They named it wrong. Write a letter or something.

    • miss t-lee

      @trin-trin,
      1. Why can y’all say “nigga” and we can’t?

      Seriously, between elementary and middle school, that was the question of the day

      Yep back in high school I used to get this question alot, along with, “why do ya’ll have BET?”
      We don’t have a white entertainment television channel.
      Me *side eye*

    • http://starkept.blogspot.com Suga&Spice

      @trin-trin, Am I the only one who doesnt find anything wrong with any of these questions?? I mean we are cultrually different and I dont find these offensive so much as inqusitive. Heck I dont see the difference in these and when I asked the white girls in Vegas what exactly is the benefit you all find in tanning?

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Suga&Spice,

        Am I the only one who doesnt find anything wrong with any of these questions?? I mean we are cultrually different and I dont find these offensive so much as inqusitive

        like i mentioned in the entry, it depends on the context. actually, when you think about it, every question depends on the context, but this concept is exaggerated when you throw race in there

        • Gem-nastics

          context definitely matters. i had a gay white male friend in HS who asked me, one day while settling down in econ after our break, “is it true all black ppl like fried chicken?” it was sooooo random and off topic. i wanted to reply “is it true all gay guys take it up the butt or is it only a select population?” but i refrained… instead i said “yep, it’s true”

          • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Specialized Sula

            @Gem-nastics,

            Is it always true though? :lol:

            We might need a poll on here.

            Hint: I personally don’t care for it. ;)

            • Gem-nastics

              LOL i was being totally facetious. i know lots of black ppl who don’t care for fried chicken, or just plain refuse to eat it. much like watermelon.

            • Gem-nastics

              LOL i was being totally facetious. i know lots of black ppl who don’t care for fried chicken, or just plain refuse to eat it. much like watermelon.

          • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Specialized Sula

            @Gem-nastics,

            Is it always true though? :lol:

            We might need a poll on here.

            Hint: I personally don’t care for it. ;)

        • Gem-nastics

          context definitely matters. i had a gay white male friend in HS who asked me, one day while settling down in econ after our break, “is it true all black ppl like fried chicken?” it was sooooo random and off topic. i wanted to reply “is it true all gay guys take it up the butt or is it only a select population?” but i refrained… instead i said “yep, it’s true”

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Suga&Spice,

        Am I the only one who doesnt find anything wrong with any of these questions?? I mean we are cultrually different and I dont find these offensive so much as inqusitive

        like i mentioned in the entry, it depends on the context. actually, when you think about it, every question depends on the context, but this concept is exaggerated when you throw race in there

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

        @Suga&Spice,

        Some of the questions are valid in my book, like the one about the hair. Some are based in stereotypes and ignorance, like the fried chicken one.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

        @Suga&Spice,

        Some of the questions are valid in my book, like the one about the hair. Some are based in stereotypes and ignorance, like the fried chicken one.

    • http://starkept.blogspot.com Suga&Spice

      @trin-trin, Am I the only one who doesnt find anything wrong with any of these questions?? I mean we are cultrually different and I dont find these offensive so much as inqusitive. Heck I dont see the difference in these and when I asked the white girls in Vegas what exactly is the benefit you all find in tanning?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @trin-trin,

      3. Can you teach me to fry chicken?

      lol…i actually do need someone to teach me to fry chicken. can you?

      • http://trintrinsez.blogspot.com trin-trin

        @The Champ,

        my fried chicken recipe is a secret…

        lol

      • http://trintrinsez.blogspot.com trin-trin

        @The Champ,

        my fried chicken recipe is a secret…

        lol

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @trin-trin,

      3. Can you teach me to fry chicken?

      lol…i actually do need someone to teach me to fry chicken. can you?

    • Nikiloveli

      @trin-trin,

      ” Why don’t you wash your hair everyday?”

      Glad you said it first, because I was going to.

      The truly brave then ask the follow-up
      question(s)…

      Well, doesn’t it start to stink?

      And let’s not forget about this one:

      Are those extentions?
      You guy’s hair doesn’t really grow, though, huh? Have you just never cut it? Top it off by implying disbelief when I say that cut it short a mere 8 months ago.

      Note: These are all questions that have been posed to me within the last week. My hair is only about 2 inches past my shoulders.

      Again, GRRRRR.

      GRRRR…

      As a matter of fact, just don’t ask me ish about my hair.

      • Resident GRitS

        @Nikiloveli,

        LOL @ “you guy’s hair”…I can hear it.

      • Resident GRitS

        @Nikiloveli,

        LOL @ “you guy’s hair”…I can hear it.

      • ofloveandotherdemons

        @Nikiloveli,
        Well, doesn’t it start to stink?

        My current work place manufactures various dressings and there is a ton of spices, wine and cheeses stored in the warehouse, all of which are very aromatic. By the end of the day my hair and clothes usually smell like spicy poo. I’ve decided I’m going to go ahead and deal with dry, brittle hair rather than having hair that smells every single day.

      • ofloveandotherdemons

        @Nikiloveli,
        Well, doesn’t it start to stink?

        My current work place manufactures various dressings and there is a ton of spices, wine and cheeses stored in the warehouse, all of which are very aromatic. By the end of the day my hair and clothes usually smell like spicy poo. I’ve decided I’m going to go ahead and deal with dry, brittle hair rather than having hair that smells every single day.

      • http://trintrinsez.blogspot.com trin-trin

        @Nikiloveli,

        the most ignant statement i ever heard… “i hear black ppl burn their hair to cut it…”

        the only way i could respond was to walk away…

      • http://trintrinsez.blogspot.com trin-trin

        @Nikiloveli,

        the most ignant statement i ever heard… “i hear black ppl burn their hair to cut it…”

        the only way i could respond was to walk away…

    • Nikiloveli

      @trin-trin,

      ” Why don’t you wash your hair everyday?”

      Glad you said it first, because I was going to.

      The truly brave then ask the follow-up
      question(s)…

      Well, doesn’t it start to stink?

      And let’s not forget about this one:

      Are those extentions?
      You guy’s hair doesn’t really grow, though, huh? Have you just never cut it? Top it off by implying disbelief when I say that cut it short a mere 8 months ago.

      Note: These are all questions that have been posed to me within the last week. My hair is only about 2 inches past my shoulders.

      Again, GRRRRR.

      GRRRR…

      As a matter of fact, just don’t ask me ish about my hair.

    • mssmtaylor

      @trin-trin,

      OMG me and one of my white friends were talking yesterday. She asked how often I washed my daughters hair. I told her every two weeks. Mainly because its thick and I dont feel like foolin with it. She acted as if that was the nastiers ish she’d ever heard.

    • mssmtaylor

      @trin-trin,

      OMG me and one of my white friends were talking yesterday. She asked how often I washed my daughters hair. I told her every two weeks. Mainly because its thick and I dont feel like foolin with it. She acted as if that was the nastiers ish she’d ever heard.

    • laylah

      @trin-trin,

      heard number 2 like everyday of my life. in elementary school, if the question actually came from a white boy… i would yell “no! i don’t! you smell!” and run away.

    • laylah

      @trin-trin,

      heard number 2 like everyday of my life. in elementary school, if the question actually came from a white boy… i would yell “no! i don’t! you smell!” and run away.

    • http://www.myspace.com/killa_kamizzle Killa K

      @trin-trin,

      I defend them on number 5 because when white people “perm” their hair it’s to make it curly. Perm just stands for permament. Black folks technically relax their hair. So it’s confusing.

    • http://www.myspace.com/killa_kamizzle Killa K

      @trin-trin,

      I defend them on number 5 because when white people “perm” their hair it’s to make it curly. Perm just stands for permament. Black folks technically relax their hair. So it’s confusing.

  • http://trintrinsez.blogspot.com trin-trin

    1. Why can y’all say “nigga” and we can’t?

    Seriously, between elementary and middle school, that was the question of the day

    2. Do you find white boys cute?

    3. Can you teach me to fry chicken?

    4. Can you put those french-braid looking things in my hair? (Tho I may reconsider if they actually call them cornrows)

    5. When you perm your hair, does it make it curly?

    6. Why don’t you wash your hair everyday?

    I kno I have more but this is it for now

  • http://thephiladelphianegro.blogspot.com ThePhiladelphiaNegro

    Also, don’t sidle up to me and ask me whether or not I think racism is a thing of the past with the election of B+.
    (I’ve actually had people approach me with this nonsense.)

    Lastly, don’t ask me anything about getting locked up, jail,etc lest you provoke me to give you the coldest, Caribbean screwface I can muster…

    • KingPine

      @ThePhiladelphiaNegro,

      *fist up*

    • KingPine

      @ThePhiladelphiaNegro,

      *fist up*

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @ThePhiladelphiaNegro,

      Lastly, don’t ask me anything about getting locked up, jail,etc lest you provoke me to give you the coldest, Caribbean screwface I can muster…

      my man and i were out having drinks with this assistant d.a. a couple years ago, and this guy basically treated us like we were the grown-up versions of the kids from the wire. from “how does it feel to get shot at?” to “hey, i’m not a racist, but i need to ask…what so good about the ghetto?” i think he basically went down the list of every question you’re not supposed to ask. we would have whooped his ass…but having all of you drinks and food paid for kind of has a way of making you not want to fight. the whole “assistant district attorney” thing didnt hurt either.

      • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Specialized Sula

        @The Champ,

        He’s lucky the food was good.

        I know I would have done something if that food was crap. Then again, yeah, that would have justified the questions wouldn’t it?

        *smh*

      • http://freetherapyorelse.blogspot.com Specialized Sula

        @The Champ,

        He’s lucky the food was good.

        I know I would have done something if that food was crap. Then again, yeah, that would have justified the questions wouldn’t it?

        *smh*

      • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

        @The Champ, noooooo! how did you respond?

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Miss Patterson,

          i answered all of the questions. apparently patron is like a combination truth serum/lobotomy for me

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Miss Patterson,

          i answered all of the questions. apparently patron is like a combination truth serum/lobotomy for me

      • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

        @The Champ, noooooo! how did you respond?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @ThePhiladelphiaNegro,

      Lastly, don’t ask me anything about getting locked up, jail,etc lest you provoke me to give you the coldest, Caribbean screwface I can muster…

      my man and i were out having drinks with this assistant d.a. a couple years ago, and this guy basically treated us like we were the grown-up versions of the kids from the wire. from “how does it feel to get shot at?” to “hey, i’m not a racist, but i need to ask…what so good about the ghetto?” i think he basically went down the list of every question you’re not supposed to ask. we would have whooped his ass…but having all of you drinks and food paid for kind of has a way of making you not want to fight. the whole “assistant district attorney” thing didnt hurt either.

  • http://thephiladelphianegro.blogspot.com ThePhiladelphiaNegro

    Also, don’t sidle up to me and ask me whether or not I think racism is a thing of the past with the election of B+.
    (I’ve actually had people approach me with this nonsense.)

    Lastly, don’t ask me anything about getting locked up, jail,etc lest you provoke me to give you the coldest, Caribbean screwface I can muster…

  • RedBeanzNRice

    When I wear my braids, please stop asking me “how” or if I was my hair. If you don’t ask me that, I promise not to ask you why you smell like wet dog after you get out of the shower. Thanks. : )

    • superwoman

      @RedBeanzNRice, indeed – bloody annoying, this one!

      also – don’t touch my hair – don’t ask if you can touch my hair.

      unacceptable behaviour, this.

      • RedBeanzNRice

        @superwoman,

        Your YodaSpeak has set my heart aflutter! : ) Love it!!

      • RedBeanzNRice

        @superwoman,

        Your YodaSpeak has set my heart aflutter! : ) Love it!!

      • Yaa

        @superwoman, touching PERIOD! I have had white people just reach out and grab something I was wearing. I had this really pretty necklace that someone gave me from Ghana. White co-worker grabs it and says its pretty. I told her it was voodoo. She never has spoken or touch me since. GOOD JOB YAA

        • laylah

          @Yaa,

          lmao

        • laylah

          @Yaa,

          lmao

      • Yaa

        @superwoman, touching PERIOD! I have had white people just reach out and grab something I was wearing. I had this really pretty necklace that someone gave me from Ghana. White co-worker grabs it and says its pretty. I told her it was voodoo. She never has spoken or touch me since. GOOD JOB YAA

      • CoCoPuffs

        @superwoman,

        I second second this sentiment! I have quite a large afro and I have to go around protecting it from hair molesters…people whose fingers try to find their way up to it before they even finished asking the question “Can I touch it?” What do they expect it to feel like?? Dammit its hair!

        ok, let me calm down…

        • willnotbetelevised

          @CoCoPuffs, I have had to smack hands of grown@$$ folks for this foolywang. Oh you can see it in their eyes when you wear a fro or puffs. The whole conversation they are mesmerized the hair, staring and their hand just slowly starts rising towards your head. Its like if you have a big butt and you’re talking to a guy, but he’s drunk or high or something that limits his selfcontrol. Same look, same inappropriate questions.

          In fact can we get it out there that asking to touch a black woman’s hair is akin to asking to touch someones butt? You may get an ok but that’s going to be rare and from someone weird. And the question deserves a slap.

        • willnotbetelevised

          @CoCoPuffs, I have had to smack hands of grown@$$ folks for this foolywang. Oh you can see it in their eyes when you wear a fro or puffs. The whole conversation they are mesmerized the hair, staring and their hand just slowly starts rising towards your head. Its like if you have a big butt and you’re talking to a guy, but he’s drunk or high or something that limits his selfcontrol. Same look, same inappropriate questions.

          In fact can we get it out there that asking to touch a black woman’s hair is akin to asking to touch someones butt? You may get an ok but that’s going to be rare and from someone weird. And the question deserves a slap.

      • CoCoPuffs

        @superwoman,

        I second second this sentiment! I have quite a large afro and I have to go around protecting it from hair molesters…people whose fingers try to find their way up to it before they even finished asking the question “Can I touch it?” What do they expect it to feel like?? Dammit its hair!

        ok, let me calm down…

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @superwoman,

        also – don’t touch my hair – don’t ask if you can touch my hair.

        a few years ago, an elderly white woman reached out and touched my hair while asking “how do you grow those things?” in reference to my waves.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @superwoman,

        also – don’t touch my hair – don’t ask if you can touch my hair.

        a few years ago, an elderly white woman reached out and touched my hair while asking “how do you grow those things?” in reference to my waves.

    • superwoman

      @RedBeanzNRice, indeed – bloody annoying, this one!

      also – don’t touch my hair – don’t ask if you can touch my hair.

      unacceptable behaviour, this.

    • http://www.missjennamarie.com Jenna Marie Christian

      @RedBeanzNRice,

      A white chick i worked told me she thought “black women” hair didn’t grow?

      She asked “how do our hair look when it’s wet?

      Why we give our kids certain names?

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Jenna Marie Christian,

        Why we give our kids certain names?

        lol, sh*t, this is something i wanna know too

        • miss t-lee

          @The Champ,
          I’m telling you…
          One of my cousins is due to give birth anyday and I asked her what he was gonna name her daughter. The name starts with a Y and it has about 12 letters and an apostrophe.
          I was like, um….okay.
          Then she got mad cause I couldn’t pronounce it correctly. I told her, hell if I can’t say it and you just told me the name think about what your child is gonna go through.
          My cousin? *blank stare*

          • http://www.missjennamarie.com Jenna Marie Christian

            @miss t-lee,

            lmao….now that is funny!!

          • http://www.missjennamarie.com Jenna Marie Christian

            @miss t-lee,

            lmao….now that is funny!!

        • miss t-lee

          @The Champ,
          I’m telling you…
          One of my cousins is due to give birth anyday and I asked her what he was gonna name her daughter. The name starts with a Y and it has about 12 letters and an apostrophe.
          I was like, um….okay.
          Then she got mad cause I couldn’t pronounce it correctly. I told her, hell if I can’t say it and you just told me the name think about what your child is gonna go through.
          My cousin? *blank stare*

        • http://thephiladelphianegro.blogspot.com/ ThePhiladelphiaNegro

          @The Champ,

          I gotta admit, the name thing w/our people has me perplexed as well…

        • http://thephiladelphianegro.blogspot.com/ ThePhiladelphiaNegro

          @The Champ,

          I gotta admit, the name thing w/our people has me perplexed as well…

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Jenna Marie Christian,

        Why we give our kids certain names?

        lol, sh*t, this is something i wanna know too

    • http://www.missjennamarie.com Jenna Marie Christian

      @RedBeanzNRice,

      A white chick i worked told me she thought “black women” hair didn’t grow?

      She asked “how do our hair look when it’s wet?

      Why we give our kids certain names?

  • RedBeanzNRice

    When I wear my braids, please stop asking me “how” or if I was my hair. If you don’t ask me that, I promise not to ask you why you smell like wet dog after you get out of the shower. Thanks. : )

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