I think we can all agree that Google is as close to being a deity without having taken a week to create something magnanimous. Hell, a few years ago, a me and a friend created First Baptist Church of Google because we determined that if Jesus wants to know something, he probably uses Google too.
You can’t possibly think Jesus uses Bing, can you?
Moving on, if you’re like most of modern American society, and work behind a computer you likely spend a significant amount of your day on Gchat handlng business, shootin’ the breeze, and talking more sh*t than a little bit. It’s become the go to chat client. By the way, I have no idea if that’s actually true, but I’ve decided it is so…therefore, it is so. So so def.
In some ways, I think that the folks at Google are slightly sadistic and possibly have a God complex. Why? Well, why ELSE would they just add folks to your chat list JUST because you emailed them a time or too. Or because somehow they ended up in a big email chain. So think about this, for a vast many of us, we tend to develop crushes and interests in people through people that our friends know. So let’s say you meet this person and become enamored with them. At Dave and Buster’s or Hooters or somewhere. Or at a Delta picnic. Wherevs. <—– doesn’t work as well as “whatevs”.
As people are inclined to do nowadays, EVERYBODY somehow ends up in a big ass group email. And then because people like having their voice heard (*power to the people*) they all reply. Then boom, one day while chatting with that stripper you broke bread with at IHOP who loved discussing War and Peace, you look at your chat list and there they are. Maybe their dot is red. Maybe its green. If you’ve got a million contacts like I do you never notice the orange ones. But the point is, there they are. Their green dot is taunting you because the only thing better than a long walk on the beach and doing hoodrat things with your friends is a Gchat convo during the day.
But you don’t really know them do you? I mean yeah you did have that one quick conversation about Kermit the Frog and how he really should be on the second go-round of Mt. Rushmore, but will they remember you for real? And who wants to seem like a stalker. Then there’s this…
…they see your damn dot too, so if they wanted to talk, they’d hit you up. Right? What if they’re worried like you are and you’re both just waiting to hit each other up? That’s possible isn’t it? I mean, there was that spark…or at least you think there was. Right? Right? I mean…I mean…exactly. It’s stressful is what it is. There you go
telling me no again trying to get some work done but the object of your affection, real or imagined, is sitting there chillin, waiting to have the greatest conversation they didn’t know they could have with you…
…but you don’t know my name. I sweaaaar.
Like I said, that’s sadistic right? Then again, a solid 60 percent of the individuals I talk to via Gchat are people who hit me up randomly for whatever reason. They took a chance and now we dance with the devil in the pale moonlight. Daily.
And don’t even get me started on Google Plus and all the random folks they keep trying to connect me with.
I guess the main point here is two fold: 1) Google just might be evil; and 2) being as they are likely evil and are placing the very folks you want to speak to right in your living room, should you take that chance or not?
So that’s what I ask, if somebody randomly hit you up via Gchat, if you even peripherally knew who they were would you engage them in a conversation? Or is it stalkerish to the nth degree? I mean I suppose you expect it somewhat with Twitter, but is GChat…more personal? What say you? And what are other ways of making connections that may be creepy but may work at the same damn time?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. PUT ME IN COACH, I’M READY TO PLAY aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3