I’m a man. What that inevitably means is that at some point in time, I’ve said something uber-stupid or done something uber-dumb in regards to women. In my attempts to look cool to the chicas, I probably waylamed myself out. Lucky for me, I’m who I am, so despite myself, I manage to be me ,which is always a good thing.
I’m also humble. It’s one of my finer qualities. And I have so many. Modesty is definitely another one.
I slay me. I really do.
With that in mind, earlier today I got to thinking about some times when I’ve put my foot in my mouth when talking to a woman. Sometimes it was on purpose, other times, not so much. I heard somewhere one day that there are certain questions that you just don’t ask a woman. “How old are you?” and “How much do you weigh?” are the clear front runners but to me, that seems to leave a plethora of questions that men need to know not to ask women.
Since benevolence is ALSO one of my great qualities (there I go with the humble modesty again), and since we at VSB.com are all about the education of the people (we’re SO anti mis-education of Negroes), I figure that the least I can do is share with my fellow brethren is a few other questions that you should just never ask a woman. Mmkay?
K.
1. So, when are you due?
I’ve witnessed my father ask this of a woman before. Not.Pretty. Not only was she not expecting, she didn’t even look like she was. Pops just figured “what the hell, I’m married, I’ll never see her naked anyway, let’s see if she’s pregnant.” Patriarchal knowledge aside, unless you know for a fact that a thicker chick is pregnant, it doesn’t behoove you to wonder that wonderment. On the flip side, it’s ALWAYS funny to ask a non-pregnant woman if she’s expecting, especially if you never want to see her naked. Mostly because you probably won’t after you ask that question. Plus, if she is, you exposed her. Geraldo would be proud.
2. (after getting her name) So, is that your stage name or what?
I remember the first time my homey Boom told me about her boy doing that in Lenox Mall in Atlanta, I teared up from laughing so hard. Mostly, because I’d like to do that one day. Just seems like a hoot. Besides, all chicks are undercover strippers anyway, you might be boosting her ego. It helps to throw a dollar at her.
3. How long do you normally make guys wait before they hit? Two? Three dates?
This is a bad question all around. For one, let’s say she does only make cats wait two dates, but now you done blown up her spot so she has to make it seem like that’s not the case. You just added a few dates onto your sentence, homey. What a dumbarse. The game is to be sold, not to be told. There you go telling me no, again. There you go.
Sorry, had a Keith Sweat moment.
4. Do you mind if I don’t spend the night?
Especially if you follow it up with, “I’ve got a early morning meeting at 2pm tomorrow. “ Look, nobody wants to feel used. It hurts. And to add insult to injury, it’s not like you were going to put money on the nightstand, so its like you left AND it was a freeby. That’s just rude. It’s better to just get up and leave WITHOUT asking. Tsk. Too many words, friend. Too many words.
5. How do you feel about the song “Put It In Your Mouth”?
If you’re not in the club and the song just went off, this is never a good question to ask a woman. For one, it kind of implies that you care about her opinion of Akinyele. And NOBODY cares about Akinyele. She’ll think you have bad taste in rappers and that won’t even get you to second base, pal. Keep the hip-hop discussions above board and just ask the question, who’s the best rapper in NY, “Jay-Z, Biggie, or Nas”. By the way, Biggie? Dead.
R.I.P.
So, what are some other questions that you should never ask a woman? And ladies, us brothas need help here. What should we NEVER ask you?
This is education.
It was written.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P
five mins. after meeting:
Is that your real hair?
and then when I proceed to say yes.insist I’m lying.
@MillieJ, then when I proceed to say yes.insist I’m lying.
This reminds of when I was in school and guys would not only question me when I said yes, but would pull my hair to see if I was telling the truth.
@Leila, don’t you know that just means they liked you?!?!
@Panama Jackson, haha
@Leila,
Lol, in HS my best friend had a “hair stalker” he would wait outside the lunchroom and trying to feel on her head/hair as we were walking in the door. Every.Darn.Day.
He said it just looked so” touchable and shiny.”
@MillieJ, a hair stalker lol. My experience was roller-skating parties in elemenatary school where a few of the boys would grab my hair when they roller-skated by and I would have to regain my balance first and then chase them…
@Leila,
Better than, “but dark-skinned girls aren’t supposed to have long hair, so it can’t be real.”
True. Story.
@WordSmith, Ignorant.
@WordSmith,
You shoulda kicked him til he was dead!
@Leila,
Glad I’m not alone. I had a guy actually put his fingers in my roots and said, “Just checkin’ for tracks!”
@Voiceofreason, I am upset that he not only reached into your head uninvited…but then announced what he was doing…what if he found some tracks, huh? then what? smh
@MillieJ, I agree… and would like to add any question along the same lines (i.e. are those your real eyes, breasts, teeth ect.) and then insiting that I am lying. let’s just assume I know what I’m talking about when it comes to me…
@Jay_Delicious, I would take it as a compliment. Questioning the authencity of said body part means you’re hot!
@MillieJ,
welcome and sh*t
@MillieJ,
welcome!!!
*shooting gold stars*
@MillieJ,
Welcome!!!!
**Special Edition PRESIDENT OBAMA Diva Dust ™** to you.
Sorry I’m late… been in quarterly case meeting all morning.
BUT NOW I’M FREEEEEEEEEE
@blackberry molasses,
Did you say you have new dust? Presidential at that? Yeah, I’ll be around – at midnight, with my merry band of thieves.
@Lil’T,
mmmmhmmm… your merry band of thieves will get STOLE ON…
Hey everyone,
I feel all special,Presidential dust and whatnot.
is this divo dust then?
Yea, after the hair question comes asked if ur mixed or not?
Yea, wit n*gga n mo’ n*gga
Good Post. I got a few good chuckles. The question I’d never ask….
So, how many people have you Really slept with?
That’s askin for trouble on so many levels.
@Slim Jackson, ok I know i am going on a tangent here, but in response to that question, would 10 people be better than none? Ok, that made little sense…lets try this again- If someone responded with ‘none’, would that be worse than a number in the double digits?
@postmodern pwnage,
It makes no difference what the answer is – men will just believe she’s lyin anyway!
@postmodern pwnage,
f someone responded with ‘none’, would that be worse than a number in the double digits?
ummmm….no.
@postmodern pwnage,
Definitely would not be worse to say none. I just might say hallelujah depending on how old she is.
@postmodern pwnage, I DON”T DO VIRGINS!!! but I won’t ask that question cuz I won’t believe the answer…and honestly, as long as YOU know how many, I don’t really need to know…ignorance is bliss…unless of course you’er a VIRGIN…then you do not pass go, do not collect 2 hunnit dollars!
1. Which one of your friends would you have sex with?
2. How old was your mother when she started getting fat?
3. When was the last time you had sex?
4. How much money do you make?
5. Can my ex come to our wedding?
@Hostess,
2. How old was your mother when she started getting fat?
3. When was the last time you had sex?
maximum co-signage on these.lol.
@Hostess, these are oh so wrong but oh so right. and i would know considering how I’m Mr. Oh So Sexxy.
lol. its past my bedtime.
@Hostess, 5. Can my ex come to our wedding?
A guy had the nerve to ask you that?
@Leila, Uh naw. Any man marrying or dating me would know that’s not a cool thing to even think, let alone speak aloud. Just like I’d know not to ask him, “Were you a zygote when your wretched shrew of a mother ran your daddy off?” I wouldn’t even think such a thing for fear that it would come out one day.
@Hostess,
“Were you a zygote when your wretched shrew of a mother ran your daddy off?”
that’s deep.
@Hostess,
“Were you a zygote when your wretched shrew of a mother ran your daddy off?”
I cant think of a situation where I would wanna say this to another human being….
@Pey-SO,
I actually can. As a matter of fact, I look for occasions to question and ridicule some fcuktard of a man’s prenatal development and/or early childhood years, in search of a biological excuse for his rudeness and stupidity.
Any use of the word “zygote” in this situation is to be applauded, as one has probably gotten to the deepest layers of this dummy’s dysfunction. *smh*
co-signage
@PBG,
This is hilarious to think about…
@Hostess, #4. How much money do you make? is definately a no-no. Men, don’t like it when we ask the question, so they shouldn’t be asking us.
never ask a woman “do you always dress like that?” when referring to her oversexed style of dress or her alternative or less than flattering style of dress. neither one goes over well. better to say i bet you would look fly in xyz…then to outright tell her that her style is garbage.
@Miss Patterson, yo that’s some ole I’m tryin to change you manipulative styled conversation. Like meatloaf ‘I won’t do that.’
@Miss Patterson,
if her style is garbage isn’t it better to tell her to her face? Otherwise how will she ever know?
@Miss Patterson,
I had a version of this…”Why don’t you wear dresses more? My ex used to dress up everyday.”
Throat punch!
@Luvtheshoes,
I co-sign the throat punch!
Wtf? “My ex used to dress up everyday”. How about you go back to your ex?????
@Miss Patterson, nah saying “I bet you would look fly in XYZ” alludes to the fact that you don’t think she looks “fly” in whatever the he11 it is that she obviously thinks she looks “fly” in…
2. How old was your mother when she started getting fat?
bwahaha….can that be used for men too?
like… when did your father start shrinking.
sometimes we need to know these things.
@MillieJ, I think the male equivalents would be:
When did your maternal grandpa go bald…Cus you know that’s who controls the gene?
You think your dad would let you hold a couple of his blue pills??
How many men have you been with??
@Hostess, How many men have you been with??
pause.
But would you do if he said 3?
pause
@Pey-SO, Turn on my heels and walk away. Then I’d run to my nearest computer and blog about it.
@Hostess, why ask then? (pause)
@Pey-SO, Point is, I wouldn’t. I know it’s a question I shouldn’t ask. Also, if I ever feel like I need to ask or want to ask, I won’t be dating him.
@Hostess,
You gon’ get me fired! You had me at “zygote,” homie. But the blue pills? ROFL!
are you into threesomes?
@Rita, LOL! please tell me this was not a random question
@postmodern pwnage,
No, I didn’t intend to ask the VSbers if they are into threesomes…. I guess I should have written some more,or added a background story.
ahwell.
@Rita, lol, my bad. I meant the individual who asked the question, I assumed you were speaking from a previous experience.
@postmodern pwnage,
sadly,I was.
How much money do you make?
What’s your bra size?
Why don’t you have a (boyfriend, husband)?
What are you mixed with? After I tell that I’m not mixed, then insist that I’m mixed with Indian and don’t know it.
@Leila,
The bra size question always kills me lol. Maybe because I’m a member of the IBTC
@Leila,
“Why don’t you have a (boyfriend, husband)? “
Grrrrrr, that is the absolute worset question ever! I usually answer, “Because I usually meet guys like you…”
@Relax, Relate, Alise, I hate that question…but I usually say “It’s on purpose…” if he’s cute…or “I am single by default!” if he ain’t…
@Leila, what’s so bad about the “why dont you have a bf question?”
@Pey-SO,
yeah…i wanna know that as well. i think thats a valid question after you’ve known a person for a while
*smh & sigh*
we’ve talked about this sooooo many times on this site. don’t yall pay attn??
IT’S A DUMB EFFING QUESTION!!! she’s obviously single becuz (a) the right man hasn’t come along or (b) she ran off the right man becuz she’s crazy / unstable / not “relationship” material. it’s quite easy to tell the difference.
if she’s not a looney-toon then just be lucky she’s available and giving you the time of day.
@The Champ, It depends on how they ask. Some people ask like there’s something wrong with a woman who doesn’t have a boyfriend. I ended a long-term relationship last year and I love being single but people will try to me feel bad for being single like it’s a disease or something lol…
@Leila
“They Shoot Single People, Don’t They”
-SATC quote
@Leila, “What’s your bra size?”
I’ve had that asked too many times. Hate the question.
@Shelia,
What I hate even more is when they don’t ask. They just say, “Let me guess, you’re about a 36…”
@Leila, I get the bra size question as least once a day. Except it is never as polite as a simple ‘Excuse, me what size bra do you wear?’. It is usually something like ‘Dayum, I dont mean no disrespect what size are those things?’ The second dude usually looks embarassed and tries to shhh the asker.
@Suga&Spice, I put the phrase politely, but yeah that’s how most men ask. I’ve had curves all my life, so I’ve been asked that question a lot of times. It gets on my nerves.
@Leila,
Why don’t you have a (boyfriend, husband)?
I think that’s a valid question. Of course worded differently (read better), but it’s a glimpse into a person’s story.
@Leila,
“What are you mixed with? After I tell that I’m not mixed, then insist that I’m mixed with Indian and don’t know it.”
OMG!!!! This is one of my greatest pet peeves!!!!! Uggghhhhh….that question makes me want to commit a felony on the person who asked!!!
Why can’t I just be a very fair skinned black chick??? Why??? Why???
*grimaces*
@This Just In,
I get that too sometimes, but it’s wild because I have dark skin. I guess it’s my curly hair that makes them curious.
@This Just In, Lol, guys get kinda sad face when ur like no… not mixed
Def had ppl start speaking spanish 2 me with returns of blank stares…
#1 place I get that question tho is in the Dominican Salon… idk whats up wit dat…
Adding to the hair statement above….
Never ask ‘is that your hair?’ If she paid for it, its hers.
What you should ask (but, really, don’t do this) is if that hair grew out of her scalp. Then again, she might have taken E.Badu’s advice and “got her a whole ‘notha scalp….” to go with her butt, calf and breast implants.
But I seriously have had the following things asked of me:
“You’re and epidemiologist. So you like, treat skin disorders (no, dummy, Dermatologists do that). Can you check out this rash on my….”
“Oh, you got your own spot. So, can I, like be your roommate?” (We had known
each other for 3 hours)
Upon finding out my mom has ” Dr.” in front of her name: “so you think u could get mom-dukes to hook me up with a script for some oxycontin?” (She’s a teacher, not an MD ,you dumba$$ drug addict)
@blackberry molasses on her Crackberry,
Somebody actually asked you if your mama could hook them up w/some pills?? Even if your mom were an MD…how inappropriate was that?? Geesh! Some people are just STUPID!!
@blackberry molasses on her Crackberry,
“You’re and epidemiologist. So you like, treat skin disorders :Can you check out this rash on my….”
This just made me LOL for real!!!!
@blackberry molasses on her Crackberry,
I’m currently in grad school for epi and I get asked the same question everytime i tell people what I’m in school for! grrrrrrrr…. An XTRA scroungy man in the grocery store asked me to help him with his yucky looking rash and if i could get him the hook up on skin cream…
@TanishahNicole,
where are you going to school? but yeah… dude who asked me to check out the rash on his “hmhm” then wanted my number….. SIIIIIIICK!!!
Then again, she might have taken E.Badu’s advice and “got her a whole ‘notha scalp….” to go with her butt, calf and breast implants.
Really though, In an era of “pocket buns”… and whatnot…..who knows whats possible.
hmmm…..questions not to ask
yall pretty much got them covered…
I can only add questions relevent to me specifically
how do you spell THAT..after asking my name
ay can I get a bean pie or some of that fruit.. after finding out I was raised in the Islamic Faith
even if its just got a lil bit of (random pig by product) after finding out I dont eat pork
oh and
has anyone ever told you you can be a real b!@tch sometimes? this one ended badly…..
hey can I cash this check in your account? dont ask…..
@Shay-d-lady, oh and… you ever had “kept man”..or a “house husband”? ya interested?
@Shay-d-lady,
has anyone ever told you you can be a real b!@tch sometimes?
lol…this question is usually rhetorical.
@Shay-d-lady, yeah, i feel you on growing up Muslim. They always ask stuff like “so you sell bean pies and final calls on the corner too?” or “can’t you just eat bacon?” please, save it.
also for those that didnt believe.. here it is the T flowers commercial I told yall about…..
http://savemanny.blogspot.com/2006/07/reason-people-hate-lawyers.html
yeah I dont have to make this shyt up people…LOL
@Shay-d-lady, honestly that has to be the most ignorantly entertaining thing i’ve heard all morning. talk about pandering to your audience. it’s like the reverse W.E.B. DuBois.
@Shay-d-lady,
I just fell out of my chair…. *dead*
hmmm…I would add things not to say. at all.
*I like black girls. can I have your number? (random white boy @ conference)
*d@mn you got some big t!tties. (random ninja in wal-mart)
*any sentence that starts with/uses or refers to me as ma’am. (some lil ninjas at the mall/poetry lounge)
if asked the following questions do not hesitate and/or say the wrong thing.
her: do I look fat?
him: (do not pause. do not pass go. do not look at her as if trying to determine the proper response.just say…) nope.
her: is she prettier than me?
him: (not saying you can’t have noticed the chick but see above and repeat.) nope.
@SouthernGirl should be sleeping,
LOL yeah any of the “DAyum..you gotta big xxx (insert body part)joints are a bad idea
@SouthernGirl should be sleeping,
*I like black girls. can I have your number? (random white boy @ conference)
Being honest doesnt work….
*any sentence that starts with/uses or refers to me as ma’am. (some lil ninjas at the mall/poetry lounge)
Being polite doesnt work either….
What should we ask?
@Pey-SO,
this —>I like black girls. can I have your number? any sentence that starts with/uses or refers to me as ma’am<–goes beyond being polite when i literally have to ask the person making this statement, ‘how old are you?’ cause just looking at you could probably get me arrested. don’t try to be grown or look good in front of your (literally) lil friends by betting them you can pull me.
what ever happened to just walking up and saying hello? introducing yourself. sizing up the sitch and saying something appropriate to jump start a convo.
at target: oh, let me help you reach that random item on the top shelf…..
in line at the airport: ain’t these baggaage fees a
b!tch?…..
at the mall: don’t buy that stereo. it sucks. this one is better….
you can be polite and express interest without being an @ss. just keep it simple.
@Pey-SO,
i somehow lost the top of my reply. that should have read…this—>I like black girls. can I have your number?<–should not be the VERY first thing you say to me. ever. i am not trying to be your token/pedestal/i wanna try you black girl. been there done that and it had me hiding in a room from a racist roommate. in my experience when things like this are said upon a first meeting it usually ends up bad.
first, if you really do like black girls i’m gonna find out anyway. cause if you’re stepping to me (correctly) i’m gonna step out on that limb and assume you already don’t mind that i’m black. second, if we get to actually talking, i’m gonna learn your history/preferences anyway.
and then go into the ma’am thing.
@SouthernGirl should be sleeping,
“*I like black girls. can I have your number? (random white boy @ conference)
*d@mn you got some big t!tties. (random ninja in wal-mart)”
Ok those are my two pet peeve question/statements of all time! It just brings out the inner b&*ch in me every single time.
Oh an the other one is
“Are those real or did you buy them? (in reference to my breasts)”
And when I say Not every chick with big boobs bought them! I’m 100% homegrown all natural, you sit there and say I’m lying! For real? Cuz your feeble thoughts mean that much to me that I am going to lie to a guy I didn’t even think about wanting in my lifespace. Yeah homie… you’re so right!
@SouthernGirl should be sleeping,
While I will agree with some of the first things you said, I have to disagree with you on the whole “right answer thing” when it comes to the ‘do I look fat?’ or the ‘is she prettier than me?’ questions.
I would straight ignore these questions b/c they come off as if she’s fishing for compliments and I won’t indulge anybody in that game.
If I wanted to tell her she looked good, I would. Often.
She should get her self-esteem up for real.
Don’t ask questions that you don’t want an honest answer to. (i.e. for dudes “How many sex partners have you had before me?”)
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro, believe me i do not ask questions i don’t want to know the answer to. that was a skit on friends that i thought was hilarious (and it went both ways–there were things you should never hesitate to say to a man, ie. is he better than me, etc.). and true for some women and relevant to the topic.
true, some do ask this as a way to start somethin but for most women i know it’s generally a ‘i’m having an off day/d@mn this i’m a woman now biology’ thing not a let me try to trap this ninja/fish for a compliment thing.
but then again, some men don’t always compliment their women like they should.
Also
so you read and shyt?
@Shay-d-lady,
I hope this is hypothetical!
LOL! What a dumb@ss!
@Shay-d-lady, I once asked a girl if she could read, like if she was literate, that didnt end well
@Shay-d-lady, whoa whoa…that is a VERY important question.
to complete the murder, i stopped talking to a chick b/c i went into her house and didn’t see a single book. not one. NADA. she got nexted.
@Panama Jackson,
Did she have a neck tat?
“Oh, so you were raised by your mother?” (followed by any combination of a wince, gasp or any other look of disapproval)
I’ve noticed, recently, that a lot of black men assume that women who were not raised w/a prominent father figure are somehow less than or are guaranteed to be dysfunctional in relationships. While I’m intrigued by the attempt at psychoanalysis, men should know that your displeasure re: situations in a woman’s life that were out of her control (like the absence of a parent) is generally insensitive. That’s pretty much like me asking if you know about the new advances w/Rogaine products or if you’ve ever read a book on Kama Sutra; the innuendo or implication of dysfunction is insult enough. Also, I know plenty of off-brand chicks who grew up with two parents in happy marriages who are far more fcuked up than I am. We all have our issues and you, too, my brotha, have some things in your past that can only be healed by the love of a patient and accepting woman. Moral: don’t block your blessings.
@Resident GRitS,
I’ve noticed, recently, that a lot of black men assume that women who were not raised w/a prominent father figure are somehow less than or are guaranteed to be dysfunctional in relationships
no comment on your comment, other than the fact that i would remove the adjective “black”
@Resident GRitS, I’ve also noticed how men are sometimes intimidated by women who were raised by their fathers or other prominent male figures. I’ve even had a dude tell me “I can’t compete w/your Dad”.
I laughed and sweetly dismissed him. He was right.
@PBG,
“I can’t compete w/your Dad”.
My response: “You’re right, you can’t”
*chunk deuce*
@miss t-lee,
Say word. If you can’t come close to what my Dad did for me, his example of what a REAL MAN is supposed to be, you don’t need to be in my lifespace. Period.
@Resident GRitS, i feel you. but i cant lie, at one point, my goal in life was to date only women who; 1) knew, 2) were raised by, and 3) liked their father.
when every woman you’ve dated has had beaucoup daddy issues, sometimes you want to see what the other side looks like. lol
@Panama Jackson,
Black women?
@pgh muse, i guess by default b/c i’ve only dated Black women.
@Resident GRitS,
I’ve noticed, recently, that a lot of black men assume that women who were not raised w/a prominent father figure are somehow less than or are guaranteed to be dysfunctional in relationships
This is so interesting considering how many great people are raised by single mothers.
So how am I supposed to know a woman’s age without asking? She obviously wants to know my age eventually.
@Matthew Milam, good point
@Matthew Milam,
I don’t mind the “how old are you?” question. It doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is all of the ‘oh you’re still a baby/youngin/don’t know no better/etc.’ that follows. Uhm, you don’t know me or what I know!
@Matthew Milam, i usually just say, “how old you iz”?
she say: “where you from?”
i say: “adamsville”
she say: “cool. you sexxy.”
i say: “sho you right”
and cut.
@Panama Jackson,
lol thats messed up
@Matthew Milam,
The age question doesn’t bother me at all. It will be known eventually. So ask away, but don’t let that be your first question though (unless you’re trying to bag a chick at the club and you want to make sure it’s safe)
Asking if you can borrow a few dollars. Let’s add- right after a date. (YES, this has happened to me)
@Candace,
did you meet him at the greyhound station?
@The Champ,
gingerale on keyboard. AGAIN.
thank you champ. thank you.
@The Champ,
LOL. That would have at least explained it, but no.
The best question I was asked lately was:
(while gesturing to the bartender)“So, what are you drinking?”
*beams*
@PBG, That is my favorite question!
*Have you had an abortion before?
*How many abortions have you had?
*Where did you learn how to (insert gratuitous sexual act) so well?
*Were you always this bitter?
*(After you’ve been romantic with a female) So what’s up with yo’ girl?
*Swallow or spit?
@Monk,
Thanks for the heads-up man, i didn’t know abortions where a touchy subject (who would’ve figures)…I mean if I’m going to be sticking my D**K into a well ventilated tomb i think i have the right to know n sh*t.
As for the swallow or spit…sounds like a reasonable question, it’s on par with “Do you play with your food?”
@sisanda,
“As for the swallow or spit…sounds like a reasonable question, it’s on par with “Do you play with your food?””
So sick but so funny!
@Monk, I think that “Were you always this bitter?” is a great question if she is actually bitter
@Pey-SO,
lol…me too.
@Pey-SO, me too. at the point i’m asking, i generally want to know the answer, but also never want to speak to her again anyway. it’s a win-win, if not a lesson in psychotherapy.
I have a question that you probably don’t want to ask a woman:
“Spit or Swallow?”
Asking this question will probably eradicate any chance a dude might’ve had insofar as the draws are concerned. On the real, asking this might get you kicked in the nuts. Hard.
But, there’s always an off chance that you might get an actual answer to this. (Not that I’ve ever seen this one go over well. but after the election of a Black president I guess anything’s possible.)
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro, LMAO
but this ? ladent inquirer wasn’t after the draws… I mean he was ‘not as bad as Eric Benet, might have got a lil ____ but he wasn’t really cheating.’ none the less a ‘kick’ is not the attention the nuts were seeking so sequester that to the find out when you get there file.
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
I have a question that you probably don’t want to ask a woman:
“Spit or Swallow?”
Asking this question will probably eradicate any chance a dude might’ve had insofar as the draws are concerned. On the real, asking this might get you kicked in the nuts. Hard.
you know what, though…it depends on the circumstance. like, you cant ask that on the first date, or while your at the cracker barrell with her and her family, but there is a time and place when that question could be appropriate.
@The Champ,
I agree.
It can be a very cool question if you’ve moved to sexual innuendos and double entendres.
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
what’s the point in asking this question?? will her answer perhaps influence your decision on whether or not you’ll let her give head??
@GEMazing, what if its for a survey?
lmao let your intentions be known. shoo.
@GEMazing,
It gives you a foray into the mindset of the person you’re dealing with… i.e uptight or on the open-minded side.
A few more:
*Why can’t you be more like (insert her sister’s name, one of her girlfriend’s name, your ex’s name)?
*Are you PMS-ing or something?
*Don’t you just love Beyonce? (For some reason, the disdain some women have for her just automatically triggers bad vibes.)
@Monk, “*Are you PMS-ing or something?”
LOL…definately don’t ask that…but the last guy who asked me that, I turned around and said, “No, are you?”
At my age I have a smart response anytime some guy asks me something crazy. He might not like the answer that comes out of my mouth.
@Monk,
“Don’t you just love Beyonce? ”
If you asked me that, I’d assume you were gay or suspect.
Not so much a question, but:
IDIOT: U have some luscious lips, I bet you can sick a mean duck.
Me: *blank stare* (workcite: mik)
@Nicki Sunshine,
Yep….Nikki…I’ve heard that before.
*blank stare* is right…
Niiiice.
@Nicki Sunshine,
More like blank stare followed by exasperated rolled eyes.
Think it, don’t effin’ say it outloud!!!
@Nicki Sunshine,
I’ve heard that one before!
My response: You bet right but u definitely aint gonna find out.
Fucker!!!
@Nicki Sunshine, Ladies, I’m glad it wasn’t just me.
I remember a man making a remark about my lips and I was just a kid.. and I was with my MOTHER!
Geez, show some self control!
I see some of you good people took my questions “Is that your real hair?” and “How many people have you slept with?”
My other contribution: Why are you still single?
That question alone deserves a literal *throat punch*
Oh yeah…to answer the question PJack…
Jay-Z
And, GO STEELERS!!!!
@miss t-lee,
Yes! I hate that question! “Why you aint got no man?” Like, what kind of answer do yall want for that? “Well, you know, I been tryin to hook up wit somebody, but these darn genital warts keep gettin in the way.”
For me, generally any questions regarding sex are kind of a turn off. At least in the beginning stages of getting to know you. I understand that it’s always on yall’s minds, but please….don’t ask me what positions I prefer on the first date. Just tacky.
@nia,
That is a good question!!! CHAMP, PJACK, and the REST OF THE VSBs…. what would be a feasible answer to the question “why are you still single?” or is there an acceptible answer?
I swear everytime I hear that question my first response is “why are you?” or “cuz I am” or “cuz a-holes like you keep talking to me!”
@Ro,
That is a good question!!! CHAMP, PJACK, and the REST OF THE VSBs…. what would be a feasible answer to the question “why are you still single?” or is there an acceptible answer?
that question is basically our way of segueing into previous relationship talk, and is actually a sign that a guy might be somewhat interested in you. he’s asking “why are you still single” because he likes you, and he wants to know if theres any cemetery’s in your closet that he needs to be aware of.
so, to answer your question…just be honest. no need to get all aggy and sh*t
@The Champ,
my cemetary’s are off to the side of the apt building. If I kept them in my closet, where would I keep my shoes???
But somehow I don’t think… “IDK” is a suitable answer. At least it hasn’t seemed to be b/c it’s always followed by “there’s gotta be a reason.” There is, he was an ass… how’s that for honesty? (and it was said in a very loving and sincere way.)
@Ro,
I don’t know is usually my answer.
Then, them ninjas start pressing for answers and then it’s like…okay…stop talking to me now. lol
@The Champ, he’s asking “why are you still single” because he likes you, and he wants to know if theres any cemetery’s in your closet that he needs to be aware of.
I’d rather a guy just show me or tell me that he’s interested because there’s no good way to really answer that. The last guy that asked me that found out that I ended a 7-yr relationship and thought that he was a rebound so he backed off…
@miss t-lee, “Why are you still single?”
That question…along with…when are you getting married is what prompted me to write my book-My Invisible Husband.
@Shelia,
Oh yeah? Is the info on your blog?
this was said to me by a smithsonian security guard:
him: daaaaaaaaamn girl do you work out?
me: *blushing* no… why?
him: cos you got some big ass arms! you got arms like a football player…
me: umm…
him: wait, you sure you don’t pump weights? look at them arms, they’re massive!
me: *weeping* leave me and my arms alone!
him: but…. they’re just so big and strong-looking!
now, i’ll concur that i have some strong arms, but they don’t look like a dude’s. that ish was cold… especially as he did it in the security queue right in front of all the tourists and whatnot. poor look.
@puff,
Daaaaaaaang! I haven’t been THERE (at the Smithsonian and sh*t) but I’ve had dudes ask me that about my arms. Some of us just have a little more meat above the elbow. Don’t hate me cuz I can fly!
@Lil’T,
now I’m confused. It seemd like one of you was talking about supercut arms and another was talking about flappy fat arms. Eitehr way if you got em you cant get mad at someone for noticing em and speaking on it.
pah lease.gtfooh. if you’re harping on some one’s physical appearance, especially in a negative way, that sh*t is NOT ok, appropriate, called for, or acceptable behavior. esp if you’re “on the clock”.
@Deviant, L.M.A.O.
@Deviant,
i mean there’s speaking on it, and then there’s carrying on like i got a singing fungus growing out of my eye or some sh*t. plus my arms really aren’t that buff. seriously.
@puff,
I feel you, Puff. My arms can give the appearance of being buff, but really it’s just fat disguised as muscle. Which men realize pretty quickly after I tell them that I don’t work out. It’s kinda like questioning women about a pregnancy – if the answer could potentially be, “No, I’m just a little overweight/chunky/thicker than a snicker.” then just don’t ask!
@puff,
Dude probly jus wanted to spark some conversation and that was all he had. It was either that or talk about the many ways he could make you cum. Give him points for being a gantleman.
@puff,
LMBAO @ ‘Singing fungus!’
@puff,
him: but…. they’re just so big and strong-looking!
i dont know whether to thank you for providing my morning entertainment, or to be upset because you made me spit out my cinnamon oatmel.
@The Champ,
mmmmmm cinnamon oatmeal. gonna get a bowl for myself now. and you’re welcome.
@puff,
LOL! That was just classic! Lawd knows how I needed this laugh!
@puff,
That guy was being an a$$hole. U shoulda asked him if a flashlight came with his uniform or something.
What about:
Are you sure I’m the Father?
What did you do to your hair?
Are you sure you should be eating that?
@Free2BeMe,
lol…all valid questions. welcome and sh*t, btw
@Free2BeMe,
Are you sure I’m the Father?
that is TOTALLY a valid question until the paternity test or the visit to Maury.
@Free2BeMe, welcome!!!! *shooting gold stars*
1. From 2520′s – why are your lips so small? My lips are bigger than your lips! Tee-hee! – Where’s miss t-lee when you need her? Throat punch.
2. From the brothas – Daaang, chicken little – why are your lips so small? – This is when I start getting an attitude, and my lips disappear all together.
3. Once people find out I’m an adoptee – “Have you ever looked for your real parents?” – Hot Bamma, the folks who raised me for the past 30 years ARE my real parents. I mean, really – use your words and just say biological.
3. From Ethiopians (and Haitians. And Jamaicans and Bahamians) – are you African (Zoe, etc.)? Where are you from? PG County, homie. Beyond that, roots unknown. So I guess my answer is “maybe”. If you buying drinks then I’m from where you’re from.
3. From Ashy Larry with the crust on the side of his mouth – You don’t have no kids? What, you like girls or somethin? – Nooo, sir – I was just waiting for a man as fine as you to knock me up. Let’s get to it.
4. I know you have a man, but can’t you have friends? – Really – What part of the game is this?
@Lil’T, “4. I know you have a man, but can’t you have friends? – Really – What part of the game is this?”
I have heard this too many times….smh.
@N.I.A. stillcelebrating44….,
like, really, even if i did want a new friend, what makes you think you fit the bill?
no thanks.
@N.I.A. stillcelebrating44….,
*sigh* me too.
@Lil’T,
“I know you have a man, but can’t you have friends? – Really – What part of the game is this?”
Apparently in Wacktown, North Wacklina that is the hotness and is a heavy part of the game. I hear that dumb a$$ question on the regla, with their ol’ Positve K “I Got a Man” Lookin’ Faces… ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJZMu0rTAgs )
@Relax, Relate, Alise, lmao! not positive k!!!! that song just gave ninjas a theme to act an @ss to.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
LMAO. You did NOT pull out Positive K.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
I got a one up on that ‘friend’ thing…
“You married? Your husband is a lucky man. Can I be lucky too?”
OR
“You married?? Happily? How happy? I can make you happier.”
THA FCUK?!?!?!?!?!
@Lil’T,
“3. From Ethiopians (and Haitians. And Jamaicans and Bahamians) – are you African (Zoe, etc.)? Where are you from? PG County, homie. Beyond that, roots unknown. So I guess my answer is “maybe”. If you buying drinks then I’m from where you’re from.”
LOL! Imma start using that one. In know its a common question to ask in the getting to know you stage, but I still hate that question. Most guys are just trying to size you up and make assumptions about you.
“4. I know you have a man, but can’t you have friends? – Really – What part of the game is this?”
@Lil’T,
lol, I had a few girls (read: desperate fat chicks) use that same line on me
@eff yo couch,
Daang, Eff! Let me find out you do shows at the Big Girls Club…
@Lil’T, The can’t you have “friends” question is extra lame…. are you that cool with being 2nd string?
@Lil’T,
#3 and #4 almost had me fall outta my chair. Hilarious. And isn’t #4 the question of the century?? Like Really? Must we continue this conversation?
Some I have encountered:
*Are you a freak?
*How much money do you make?
*(verbatim) Why you ain’t got no kids? You gon’ get too old…… [*DEAD*]
*Oh, you an ol’ college gal? So you smart?
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
*(verbatim) Why you ain’t got no kids? You gon’ get too old…… [*DEAD*]
You’ve heard this one too huh?
Idiots, I tell ya.
*(verbatim) Why you ain’t got no kids? You gon’ get too old…… [*DEAD*]
i get more of the “why you ain’t got no kids? those mexican hips were made for birthin babies!” *blank stare followed by throat punch*
Are you on your period, cause I was hoping we could phuck tonight?
Do you wear Magnums? No scratch that, I saw a Magnum in your pocket, can you REALLY fit it?
Did you want to meet my wife/husband?
Do you make pretty babies?
@V Renee,
Do you make pretty babies?
this seems more like a riddle than a serious question
I always wondered why it is considered rude to ask a woman how old she is or how much she weighs. I never saw any reason to get all worked up over and I continue to aks these questions if I have a desire to know the answer.
I am an a$$hole and I approve this message. Phuc your feelings.
ODB is the greatest ever.
@Deviant, cocnur
asking some one how much they weigh is not a rude question. it’s a DUMB question. why would any one, besides a physician or personal trainer, need to know some one’s weight?? what, you gon pick her up?? you probably couldn’t bench press her weight if it was halved so what’s the point?? you can easily look at some one and judge if they’re fat, skinny, toned, flabby, etc. or do you need glasses?? and to ask out of sheer curiosity simply means your brain isn’t filled with much else and you should probably take up crosswords and sudoku.
i mean, i fail to see how knowledge of some one’s weight in lb or kg is of any relevance, necessity, importance. now– asking about her % body fat could be potentially useful and worth knowing.
@GEMazing, okay speakin as a former medical profesional looks can be decieving. And I have a trained eye because of said former profesion. Some people don’t look it but are heavy weights. & I need to know cuz it may affect my mpg negatively. Gas prices is goin up.
@WuDaMan,
Wu Wu, I QUIT YOU.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
@GEMazing,
I used to sleep on a cheap @ss Futon back in the day and excessive weight would cause my futon to collapse. So the knowledge of one’s weight could be of importance in this situation . . .but that only if I deemed you worthy to be in my presence and to be brought back to my efficiency apartment.
Eff yo couch and Wudaman,
Y’all are fools! LMBAO.
@Sula-in-training, it’s hard out here in the low rate district.
LMAO yeah they are some fools. but they bring up very valid points. thank you for enlightening me.
@Deviant, Yeah if you feel bad about the answer nix yourself (but not really, WuDaMan is a people person even if I hate you I want you around to be hated or loved on). There now you don’t have to answere it anymore. *grumbling* ashamed o who they are and shyt. *smh*
“You got some big ol’ t!tties”
“How much money you make?”
“What size bra you wear?”
“So, you like to read n’ shyt?”
“Can yo’ mama get me some pills?
“You ever had a kept man?”
Dayum VSS’s!! Just where are you ladies mingling to meet such men? Happy Hour @ The Halfway House???
Geesh! I have never heard of such! Wow!
@PBG,
i think some of our vss’s took some hyperbole pills this morning
@The Champ, I probably should mention that I would NEVER hear “You got some big ol’ t!tties” in any instance. That just ain’t my story…
@PBG,
Girl, I have heard these in all types of settings, consider yourself blessed that they hav epassed you by. Even though you have that look/side-eye of death that would probably deter such tomfoolery & foolywang.
@Relax, Relate, Alise, I think my Side-Eye of Death discourages a lot of potential B.S. from coming my way. Those that do approach inappropriately are usually shamed beyond anything they could’ve imagined. I usually involve everybody around us by asking their opinions about how rude he was and what could he have done differently. All in the name of stepping HIS game up. I think it’s the least I can do for the dullard.
The ones that aren’t intimidated by my side-eye and come correct are brave gentlemen that I wouldn’t mind talking with for a while. I usually see them again. Fun times, all around.
@PBG,
I take it you didn’t go to an HBCU. I heard crazy stuff like this on the way to class all the time. Especially the physical questions.
@Voiceofreason,
I wouldn’t go to anything BUT an HBCU. That’s just who I am.
But, by your statement, am I to believe that this type of ignorance lies squarely on the shoulders of young black men?
In the name of my OWN son, I reject such an assertion.
@PBG,
“I wouldn’t go to anything BUT an HBCU. That’s just who I am.”
I love you for this.
I have a t-shirt that says “Black College or Die.” Its one of about three I actually leave the house in.
@PBG,
I feel the same way. I LOVE my alma mater, but the only time in my life that I regularly heard obscene questions directed at my body was when I was at my HBCU. And I’m a conservative dresser. My girls that went to PWIs never complained about this sort of thing.
I’ve said too many stupid things in my lifetime to count. I still do from time to time but now what I say is taken as “mean.”
Asking a woman’s age is only offensive if she looks older than she is for her age. I guess women are embarrassed about looking old and biddy-like before their time. As far as weight…okay I’ll stop there.
@CPT Callamity,
Asking a woman’s age is only offensive if she looks older than she is for her age
this is true. i think its funny when women feign annoyance at being told they look younger than they really are. and, by “funny” i mean “irksome”
@The Champ,
I always ask anyways…I want to know if the milk is about to expire or is it freshly bottled.
@CPT Callamity, LMAO!
One statement that I’ve been hearing alot recently…
“you got them baby making hips on you gal…mmmumph!”
“Oo you just the right size… the things I could do wit a lil chick like you”
to which a blank stare, puzzled look and a confused “WTH/F??!?!” followed by me walking away smdh.
Questions I hate:
1. Tongue Ring huh? You know how to use it?
-here, let me take it out…. does this answer your question? And even if I did, I’m not about to tell you, I literally just met you 3 mins ago… you can’t possibly think that’s an appropriate question!!
2. Hey Lil darlin, I saw you with your buddies, so do you like white dudes?
- uhm you mean my coworkers…and I’m not your “lil darlin” and regardless of what I like, I know for damn sure I don’t like you. Ugh.
3. I heard cali girls were freaks…. you look like you nasty!
- uhm…WTH/F??
4. What’s wrong with you that you ain’t got no man or no kids?
-why something gotta be wrong with me!?! What’s wrong wit you?
5. I just bout this 400k house…you wanna be my roommate?
-NO PSYCHO!
6. You got some big ass calfs… you play sports?
-No, just genetics ass!
7. (my favorite question to hate) You got them big ol titties…what happened to ya ass? You’d be right if you had more ass!
- well you won’t have any problems watching the lil ass I have walk the hell away!!!
@Ro,
i heard cali girls were freaks too. mind you, i heard it from eazy-e, but still, i heard it
@The Champ,
Not all Cali girls are freaks…and you shouldn’t assume they are…just cuz Eazy-E said it! By “you” I mean men in general.
@Ro, “6. You got some big ass calfs… you play sports?”
That’s a fair question
@Pey-SO,
maybe it’s the phrasing… b/c that question irritates me. I think my calves are sized appropriately for my legs. Asking with the “shock and awe” makes it sound like I have circus freak legs or something equally unattractive.
@Pey-SO,
No! That is not cool. Not askin that way at least. You should not be sayin, “Dang girl. You got some big ass….” anything! I mean really. Yall can’t be a little more respectful than that? You could say…”Wow, you have some really nice legs. They look really toned. Do you work out?” Come on dudes!!! It’s 2009! Have you not evolved????? Goodness!!!
***coming from someone that has some big ass calves
***
@nia, why women always harping on respect. Aretha messed up the game with that r-e-s-p-e-c-t mess.
lol.
i’m joking.
@Ro,
You got them big ol titties…what happened to ya ass? You’d be right if you had more ass!
yeah, i’ve gotten this. and it has always, always come from someone that was just, well, wrong. just plain ol’ undesirable… with a snaggle tooth or somethin…
i actually got “you would be perfect if you had a bigger booty. you are proof that God doesn’t make anything perfect…”
wtf??
@laylah,
i actually got “you would be perfect if you had a bigger booty. you are proof that God doesn’t make anything perfect…”
Damn, you didn’t just get insulted, you got SERVED!
BWahahahaha (I feel for you really)
@Ro, 4. What’s wrong with you that you ain’t got no kids?
I got this one before… and I must say it caught me off guard… my response was “Im 21, and single.. why would I?”
@Ziggy,
I had the same experience except I was 19 at the time. Dude was like “nah, you just selfish thats all!”
I knew right then it was going to be a long summer.
@Dom,
SMH @ this shit! No words at all!
When I meet guys I am regularly asked ‘Is that your real name or stage name?’ And I have been asked forID a number of times to prove it.
Some other question to never ask a woman,
-Your friend is kind of cute. She got a man?
-So exactly how crazy are you?
-What day do you get paid again?
-You work where? Wassup with that discount? (Negro I do not know you)
There are others but I have to do some work
@Suga&Spice, If ya not talking I see no problem with this “Your friend is kind of cute. She got a man?”
@Pey-SO,
thats not a question he should be asking you…he should be asking her.
@sherylalx,
Thank you! WTF, is the dude 20?? What truly grown man gets a woman’s friend to play “runteldat” for him and his interests??
Some ninjas stay losin’…
@sherylalx, i disagree. I wanna know if I even got a chance. If I find out she got a dude, why even waste my time.
@Pey-SO,
Besides, he might be “closer” to you and be able to feel out the terrain.
I think if the homegirl is salty, it’s just that she was feeling dude and instead dude was interested in her friend. I’m just sayin’…
@Pey-SO, This is not ok, when you invite me to a gathering, tell me I can bring a friend or two and then try to see what your chances are of getting at my girl.
@Suga&Spice,
-You work where? Wassup with that discount? (Negro I do not know you)
Yeah, this is never good. This implies that you are either
1. Too cheap to pay full retail price
2. Just flat broke
no bueno.
@laylah, retail price is for the birds
@laylah, it’s a recession. everybody’s trynna come up. i cant’ hate on nobody for that one.
@Suga&Spice,
-What day do you get paid again?
i’m so mad at this question! i hope it wasn’t asked sincerely…?
@Suga&Spice
soooooooo…curious minds want to know – Is that your real name or stage name??
@V Renee, The real Momma-Given name is Star. Couple that with H-Cups and the stripper questions are bound to come a flying.
Funny thing is I have a girlfriend’s whose momma given names are Crystal and Diamond. So you can imagine the looks we got when we introduced ourselves to guys.
@Suga&Spice, i’d sure think y’all were strippers. lol. y’all sound a like a stripping trio.
@Suga&Spice,
Your friend is kind of cute. She got a man?
I am curious about why this one is not appropriate?
@Suga&Spice,
lol…i have wanted to pimp slap a dude or so about inquiring about my girl…dude step to her, don’t come over here..lol
@Jenna Marie Christian,
jealous * cough cough*
@Pey-SO,
LOL!
@Pey-SO,
lol…not!!!!
don’t have a jealous bone in my body..now i was a bit salty:-)
Never ask her “Is that your real hair??..lol
I have the blessed and the cursed with head full of very thick and decent length hair, so it bothers me when i am asked “Is that your real hair?” Simply because if it was a weave, I might become a little insecure about it after that…lol
Happy Thursday Beautiful People:-)
Both my sister and I have locks, but my sister’s locks are pretty long. And on occasion, a random mofo asks if they are real or “Is that all YOUR hair” Or, this one chick in Target said to me “what kind of hair you use for that?”, and proceeded to try to put her hands in my hair. That beeyotch almost got cut. SMH….
@N.I.A. thinkingofamasterplan….,
That’s another thing. Dudes??? Hey dudes!! Yall listenin?? Even if you don’t know what to ask…definitely…don’t touch me. Don’t touch my hair. Don’t touch my butt. DO NOT touch my face. You MAY be able to touch my arm or my hand, depending on what kind of rapport we’re having upon first meeting. But basically, watch your boundaries homies, watch your boundaries.
@N.I.A. thinkingofamasterplan….,
lol..No, she didn’t!!!!…lol
wow…that’s hilarious…lol She asked what kind of hair is that??..lol
I have had the “stranger touching my hair” issue myself…it’s not cool:-)
@Jenna Marie Christian, hell i have ‘strangers trying to touch me” period issues. unless it’s the general excuse me/sorry i bumped you arm/shoulder pat, please do not touch me. especially if i cant’ see you coming cause ain’t no telling how i might react. that’s how ninjas get hurt.
@SouthernGirl,
I agree. Unless I tell you it’s cool. Hands off.
I have personal space issues…lol
@SouthernGirl,
you are right girl! the quickest way to get your A** kicked it to be touching and grabbing on me. No matter what area they may be reaching for:-)..lol
@Jenna Marie Christian,
In fact, The Topic should be “The Quickest ways to get your a** kicked”…lol
@Jenna Marie Christian, yup. lmao!
@N.I.A. thinkingofamasterplan….,
omg… i hate when people touch my hair. the urks the eff out of me. what makes people think they can do that??
@laylah,
cause alot of girls want you to touch (or pull) or run fingers thru their hair. Who has time to figure out who likes it and who doesn’t.
when i was 16, this boy i just started dating actually asked while we where making out… ** ahem**
“do you give he**?”
that grossed me out. i was 16 and cringed at the thought of that. obviously he didn’t get that, but he also didn’t get to 3rd base… which is where he almost was. poor thing.
7 years later and i still fail to understand….
@laylah,
That’s a deal maker/breaker question for a lot of guys. He should have waited to ask that question until the 2 of you got it in a few times.
I’m sure someone already mentioned this, but it’s a bad idea to ask a woman how many men she’s been with. This is for two reasons:
1.) No matter what the number is, it’ll be too high. She could say “27″ or she could say “4″ and it really wouldn’t matter. The male ego frowns upon the thought of foreign d**k being inside of the wifey at any time in her life, as unrealistic as that is!
2.) You probably won’t get an honest answer anyway, since women will get to subtracting technicalities(it happened in overseas so it doesn’t count; This dude just put the head in; That dude just got oral support; etc…), or outright lying to protect their image of virtue in your eyes.
@ListenToLeon,
Men need to come to grips with the fact that their “wifey” has gobbled some dingaling plenty of times before she got with them. Men also need to come to grips with the fact that women probably have had more sexual partners and a larger drive than they do (so the reports/studies are confirming).
I personally don’t ask, but I know women who volunteer the information so that they don’t appear whorish in their ways, which sometimes just doesn’t work.
@CPT Callamity,
In all honesty, I don’t want a virgin! I don’t want to be teaching a bunch of lessons when it comes time to get down to the GET-DOWN! That said, I don’t want to keep a woman around whose number is approaching triple digits! DC is too small for that mess!
Therefore, I agree that it’s stupid to not accept the fact that your woman has been with other men before you. However, I’m keeping the double standard going, and settling down with a nice young lady who can at least make me BELIEVE she has not given it up to just about any dude who has ever gotten her phone number. If everybody can get it, there’s nothing special about it…LOL
@ListenToLeon,
I co-sign with you wholeheartedly…
I’ve had one virgin in my lifetime. Wasn’t a bad experience but I see why I liked more experienced (not openly whorish) women. I know the male ego is fragile in the sense of we don’t want to be seen with everyone’s girlfriend, dig? I’m with you on your double-standard…good luck with that.
Bunk. I’m gonna say what I feel like saying to whoever. I’m grown why should I censor myself because you have issues with yourself or you you may have heard something 100 times. How am I supposed to know that? Why should I even care? If you get all upset I’ll just write you off as an indiviual with issues. There are bigger things to get upset about. Be pissed cause you got passed over for a promotion. Don’t get pissed cause some dude said something about your muffin top (the fat that hangs over your belt). You dont like people speaking on it jog it off. Personally I welcome comments on the massive girth of my belly. Everyone should. Its an accomplishment. I like it when my woman rubs it like Buddah.
@Deviant,
“I like it when my woman rubs it like Buddah.”
and also when she calls you big poppa?
@Deviant,
I somewhat agree with your comment here.
I think what I am more offended of is the lost art of conversation. All those questions would be fine and dandy(with me) if they were intelligently woven into a meaningful conversation.
People just don’t know how to converse anymore, and that is sad.
I almost tried to hook up a girlfriend on a dude I talked to at the gym the other day, on his conversation skills alone. We chitchatted for a a mere 10 mns and he probably knows enough about me to write a profile.
CONVERSATION WORKS, people. We even have a biking date on Sunday(my girlfriend will tag along
).
So it’s all in the manner. The content itself is not what’s bothersome… to me at least.
@Sula-in-training,
“People just don’t know how to converse anymore”
People *conversate* now!
@YGB,
Bwahahaha. That’s hilarious!!
Yup, they are definitely on “conversate” mode.
@Deviant, hey does she climb ontop of you and refuse to get down like a cat in a tree? Talkin about, ‘the drop off is too steep.’ lol
@Deviant
“I like it when my woman rubs it like Buddah”
I like rubbing on Buddah’s too. They make me smile.
The “is your hair real?” question can either come off funny and flirtatious or it will get you slapped depending on the authenticity of said hair as well the young lady’s sense of humor (or lack thereof).
In other random banter, has no comment been made by Panama or Champ about the impregnation of your “favorite CP3″?
@Cornell Westside,
In other random banter, has no comment been made by Panama or Champ about the impregnation of your “favorite CP3??
Whoo! I love intelligently disseminated tidbits of information like that one.
So Panama? Champ?
@Cornell Westside,
“In other random banter, has no comment been made by Panama or Champ about the impregnation of your “favorite CP3??”
i noticed that too! denial, perhaps?
@Cornell Westside,
lol..that’s the point i am trying to expres in my previous post. I am glad to have a head full of naturall hair, but dammit if it wasn’t mine there is a great possibility that question would really piss me off…lol
@Cornell Westside,
In other random banter, has no comment been made by Panama or Champ about the impregnation of your “favorite CP3??
***the official vsb.com statement regarding our favorite cp3′s pregnancy is as follows***
“the verysmartbrothas are very proud of our favorite cp3, the reigning wnba player of the year and instigator of the first ever wnba bench clearing brawl, and her pregnancy. we wish our favorite cp3 and her husband, sasquatch williams, all the happiness in the world”
***end of official statement***
@The Champ, his only saving grace is that he went to Duke, where potential NBA players go to learn how to be middling NBAers.
go Duke!
The standard ones that have already been mentioned, and a few others I guess.
What size bra to you wear?
Do you like black men?
Why do you like black men?
Anything sexually related is on a need to know basis, and if I am just meeting you, you don’t need to know it. Unless I wanna tell you. And unless its as a comment on a blog, I probably don’t want to tell you.
t
Here are some of the worst (and funniest) questions I’ve been asked:
Have you ever considered doing cartoon p0rn?
You don’t let those lips go to waste do you?
Will you cook for me and let me come over? (after 1 phone convo)
Out of all your girls are you the banginest?
Does it bother you when men fall asleep on your breasts?
@Voiceofreason,
“Have you ever considered doing cartoon p0rn?”
Haha. Two of my friends were asked this (excluding the cartoon part). They jumped fly with the guy and he ended up socking them both in the mouth. Moral of the story, just say no politely and keep it moving.
@V Renee,
I responded by laughing hysterically. I mean the ish WAS funny.
@V Renee,
“They jumped fly with the guy and he ended up socking them both in the mouth.”
Oh my God! He woulda got dealt with quickly. Typa ish is that? Cant be putting your hands on women over some bull.
@Voiceofreason,
ummm, i’m usually in the loop with stuff like this, so i feel awkward asking, but what the hell is cartoon p*rn?
@The Champ,
I guess animated p*rn. He was commenting on my voice.
@The Champ,
Don’t tell me you’ve never seen nor heard of the greatness that is Manga pron?
Man, you’ve been missing out. Get to it.
@The Champ, wait…you mean…you don’t…eh, nevermind. i’m not going to be mean to you today.
**looks gurl up and down ala Borat and says**
niiiice. how much?
@everyone,
that was a question you shouldn’t ask by the way…
*smh* ohhhhhhh dear
@GEMazing,
get your e-boo in order, e-sis!!!
“Would you help me win this bet?”-
I was “exercising” regularly with a very robust young man. About a week or 2 went by and our “workouts” stopped. In conversation, I found out he and a friend had a bet going about who could go longest without having sex. Thinking I was a wonderful friend, he suggested I help him win his bet by retooling my fitness regimine and use my mouth to help him collect his… winnings… how’s that for a question?!
@Amber J,
whats the problem?
@Amber J,
Weren’t you guys “exercising” already?
@Sula-in-training,
We were however, that made me feel moreso like I should be on payroll than hiproll… like some of these questions, it was my lapse in judgment (and raging libido) that got me into that situation. Whoopsies.. mmkay…
questions i hate to be asked:
1. “did you have pineapples today or something?”
2. “no kids right?” (to this i always respond “no”, and then i knock on wood. if theres no wood to be found, then i stomp on the carpet twice. if theres no carpet then i pray)
3. “why aren’t you in the nba?” (i used to get this at least 3-4 times a month. now, maybe once every 6 months. i cry every time i think about that. my usual answer “because i’m not good enough” always seems to disappoint them, though, probably because they’re expecting me to cite some vast conspiracy)
4. “can i ask you a question?” (assh*le, you just did!!)
@The Champ, I want to ask about the Pineapples questions but I am afraid I already know the answer.
I also hate to get the ‘So um, why dont you have any kids yet question? Ain’t nobody put no baby in you yet?’ To which I respond, ‘Nope, not as long as my daddy and I still have the same last name.’ I then exit stage left.
@Suga&Spice,
“Nope, not as long as my daddy and I still have the same last name”
and all God’s people say…
AMEN.
@laylah,
And take ‘em to Chuch!
@The Champ,
Why do people ask if you had pineapples?
(and pardon me if I sound clueless, because I actually am clueless.
)
@Sula-in-training
Apparently pineapples make spunk taste better.
@V Renee,
Thanks V Renee.
vsb.com: Where knowledge happens.
@Sula-in-training, Pineapples do not only work for the menfolk..just so you know..
@Suga&Spice,
Exactly…lol
@Sula-in-training,
not all knowledge is good knowledge.
ewww.
but that was funny though.
@The Champ,
1. “did you have pineapples today or something?”
*laughing* you so nasteee….lol
@Deviant-
So are you telling me I wasn’t being a good friend?
@Amber J,
if you helped him with his bet them you were an outstanding friend
@Deviant-
I suck as a friend-
@Amber J,
Laughing at the innuendo/pun (intended or not).
@Amber J,
actually you dont suck. I think that was the problem
lmao indeed.
I think he thought it was pretty funny too. After I wiped my face, I told him we weren’t that great of friends…
@Amber J,
After I wiped my face, I told him we weren’t that great of friends…
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
@Amber J,
lol
@Amber J, LMAO.
oh sh*t. i wasn’t ready for this part.
–^—^—^——^————-^————————-
time of death: 3:58
@Amber J,
it’s gone be a busy day down @ philadelphia co. morgue. Cuz I’m tellin errbody on the train.
And don’t ask a woman how much weight does she gain during pregnancy..
@Amber J,
Thats not a valid question? some people gain more weight than others
Why yo lips so dark, you smoke?
Panama I’m so used to men sticking a foot in the mouth, nothing really gets to me b/c I will just walk away.
But in the text world I hate when men use “OMG” and “Mmkay” unless its one of my gay friends, they get a pass.
Okay… I can dig not asking question #2. However, when you meet a woman named “Belligerent” (a true account told to me by my brother a couple of months ago) what else can you say?
Question to add to the list: “Oh, you went to college? You must be smart, huh?” STOOPID!!!
I get the, “are those your eyes?” line alot. And I want to say ” nah, I actually like wearing glasses w/ enough medicine to make your head spin + colored contacts…no, really i do”. *insert stone face here*
In recent months I’ve been talking about cutting my hair and the men around me do not like that! “So, why you want to cut your hair?” is the new question- and I hate it. Maybe i want to cut it cause its my friggin scalp!