Get Gone: Instantly Breakupable Offenses

Posted on 25 March, 2011 by Panama Jackson

Man, I don't know either.

I believe that if you decide to commit to somebody then you commit: lock, stock, and barrel. You believe in their dreams and hope they live long enough to see them. If he just can’t wait to be King, then you call him Martin Luther. If she wants to dance with somebody who loves her, then tear the roof of this sucka and go up on the down stroke. Whatever it takes. That’s what commitment is. F*ck them other n*ggas because I’m down for my n*ggas.

Love.

And all of that would be well and good, except every now and then, the people we’ve decided to commit to do some ridiculously outlandish stuff. And I don’t mean sleep just sleep with somebody else. While it may be morally wrong, its neither ridiculous or outlandish. Banging a horse? Now that’s both. And what do we call that? That’s a 392 violoation: Instantly Breakupable Offense.

I don’t care if you did it six years ago and you were higher than Charlie Sheen sitting on a cloud on the third ring of Saturn. If I find out you did something like that, you gots ta go.

F*ck your couch.

Here are some other Code 392 Violations: Instantly Breakupable Offenses

1. These shoes (<—-click me motherf*cker)

I intentionally didn’t post the picture because I want everybody to get the full effect of actually clicking on the link and seeing them. I also will not describe the non-sense. But as great philosopher king, The Champ, said to me when I shared this travashamockery with him, “you’d have to re-evaluate your life if you were dating somebody who would seriously consider wearing these.” Yo, word to Big Bird, if my woman ever showed up with those on her feet, and thought it was okay, I might have to disavow all knowledge of her.

2. Cursing at my mother

Whoooooo lawd haf mercy got bles da chile hoo s’got his own. My mother doesn’t even curse. If even the first few letters of a word I do not approve of are directed towards my mother, you gon’ have to a hitch a ride back with the galaxy. You know what word I’m not a fan of? Mystic. Never liked that word. I don’t like the Mystics of Washington or the drink. Presents quite the conundrum for you. You bet’ not call my momma “Mrs”. Better call her Queen or something. That first syllable is a killer.

3. Getting me put in jail

I’ve mentioned the scene in Crash numerous times where Terrence Howard watched the police feel up his wife. That scene hurt me. But for different reasons than anybody else. I feel like he lamed out in later scenes by not putting her out. Like, woman! You nearly got me pummelled AND put in jail by the LAPD. You got to go. You don’t love me. You probably don’t even love my doggystyle. So let’s pop a little champagne because we’re finna celebrate. What? My divoooooooooorce. Word booty.

4. Being a part of a national crime syndicate

Maybe you aren’t anymore. And that’s great. But I’ve seen True Lies and I watch a lot of movies. You can never get rid of that life. It’s part of you forever. And really, it’s not even that you did the crime and didn’t do the time. I’m happy for you. Viva la OJ. It’s more that you lied to me and probably never shared the money. You’ve been letting me think I make more money than you this whole time when the truth is you and four short and stocky Mexican Elmo impersonators spent the entire 90s bilking seniors out of their retirement by selling them pre-paid legal. And you never shared that part. I don’t really even know you. You’ve got to go.

5. If she tells me “she” was born a “he”

I don’t care how many operations you’ve been through, I’m not strong enough to handle that. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s not you, it’s me. No really. That again, is deceit. It’s a wonderbra. It’s Watergate. It’s COINTELPRO. It’s the cookie jar. It’s just deception. It’s the omission of the century. I’m sure I’m an advocate of only telling pertinent information. That’s pertinent. It’s like f*cking that horse. Like you get there and you think wow, this is gonna be cool, she’s f*cking a horse. And then you realize, dude, she’s f*cking a horse. And he was really giving it to her. Not sure who I feel worse for, her or the horse. I lost my train of thought.

No.

As Rebecca Black would say, it’s Friday Friday. What are your instantly breakupable offenses, no matter how long you’ve been together?

Talk to me.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka lower.case.p aka SHUGGIE J. aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

REMINDER: For anybody in the Princeton, NJ area, Panama Jackson will be a panelist at Princeton University’s Hip-Hop: Arts & Life Symposium on Saturday, March 26th, from 4-9pm on the campus of Prineton U. Other featured panelists include Dr. Cornel West, Dr. Imani Perry, Dr. Tricia Rose, John Gotty from The Smoking Section, and rapper poet Ise Lyfe, among others. Peep here for more details: www.princetonhhal.com
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Ms. My2Cents

Uhm…that pic has me too confused to continue reading! WTF?
- Hawaii
  
  Right. It looks like some type of snuggie for the head while you’re on your laptop?
  Keeping the ears warm?? I dunno but it interesting.
  - Orga
    
    They’re a concept design (not a real product) for combining warmth and security so people can’t see what you’re doing on your computer.
    
    http://gizmodo.com/#!380625/body+laptop-wooly-jumper-offers-privacy-warmth-and-a-big-bucket-of-ridicule
    - Caballeroso
      
      Interesting concept. I envision this being utilized in an airport setting, but when Bebe’s kids roll up on her and start housin’ sh*t outta her purse, or when Osama’s goons come though to initiate their airport-based jihad, she’ll only know about it once it’s too late – if ever. Makes way for way too many potential surprises.
    - WIP
      
      With the tradeoff being looking like an a$$hole. I’ll pass.
      - Classy6ft5
        
        “With the tradeoff being looking like an a$$hole. I’ll pass.”
        
        Baaaaaahahahaaa! This made me WEAK!
      - http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie
        
        RIGHT?!
    - miss t-lee
      
      Wouldn’t a blanket work just as well…or a beach towel?
      #justsaying
      
      *snickers*
- Girl Kanyeshrug
  
  I thought he must be overreacting till I clicked the link and it brought my spirits down
- http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie
  
  I have a feeling it’s so that you can look at pron in privacy. And I have a STRONG feeling that this is a Japanese product. lol
  - Corey
    
    LMAO!!!! Freaky little people!
- http://www.thefriendraiser.com jenifer daniels
  
  those shoes are horrid. they are the re-tread of the high heeled Tims. ‘memba those!
  
  http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRnK3pRPVuwc9gilkz6eHICiLeKPAASG4KDzSAqzMSf4z2QGHMV
Myseducation

Violence of any sort toward my person.

Too many Lifetime movies tell me it doesn’t get better.
- Myseducation
  
  Oh! And askin me if the police or CIA contacted me because the authorities are after you for a crime you didn’t commit.
  
  #truestory
- tgtaggie
  
  Violence ain’t good at all. You don’t want your man doing a Chris Brown and throwing chairs at windows and ripping off his shirt like he’s the Incredible Hulk
  - Hawaii
    
    LOL!
    It’s not funny, yet it is. That damn CB *smh*.
  - Deeds
    
    LMAO!! Oh, C. Breezy him and that dam temper
- Mo-VSS
  
  Yo…my friend is getting a divorce because her husband is abusive. And I swear fo’Gawd I want to kill him for her. I’m more upset for her than she seems to be. Okay wait…that came out wrong. I’m sure she’s upset….I just want him dead…cuz I don’t love him. She does. And I could see him die a slow painful death and I wouldn’t feel remorse.
  
  Sigh…all of that was my way of saying, I agree. Violence against folks is not the business.
  - WIP
    
    It does make you mad to see your friends being good to men that hurt them like that. I had to tell my friends, I WILL NOT be cool with him. If he speak, I’m not speaking back, I ain’t chilling with him and I’m not opening the door for him if you’re not here (roommate). If you don’t have enough sense to be mad, that’s on you, but I ain’t dealing with dude. That’s some stuff I will never understand. You’ll beat another woman down for rolling her eyes at you, but you’ll let a dude go upside your head? I’ll never cosign that mess.
    - whyaskquestions
      
      agreed! thats why i usually lose friends or they hide everything in their life from me. because im not gonna pretend things are okay when sheer bullshishery was going down.
      
      as for the roommate thing, my roommate has a psychotic boyfriend (not that she s not crazy too) but im waiting for the day when i get to beat him down then throw him down the steps. im waiting!!! she doesnt have the nuts, well guess what…im all protein baby!
      - Myseducation
        
        “sheer bullshishery”
        
        I have developed a purely platonic adoration for this phrase and am adopting your proteinaceous self into my e-family. Namaste
- Ivy St.
  
  I’m with you on the Lifetime movies. I watched a movie a few weeks back where ALL the evidence pointed towards this man’s wife killing her boss. She was in jail for life. He stood by here the WHOLE time and even devised a plan to free her.
  
  I don’t think I could stand by someone who was committed of killing someone. I’d always have some doubt that they actually did it.
  
  No murders or chex offenders for me.
- http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl
  
  I cosign this. I have this inner problem. It’s a reflex. If I even sniff out that a man is about to hurt me, something in me snaps. I MIGHT be capable of murder. I can’t go to jail. I love my baby. Plus them Snapped documentaries are not a good look for me and my rep. Just don’t.
  - Girl Kanyeshrug
    
    Snapped stresses me out but I keep watching them so I know what people are capable of…
    - whyaskquestions
      
      but most of those woman in snapped never snapped. most of them planned to kill for some silly reason.
  - Shorty@Law
    
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VgMCwQcaeA
    
    See this right here…my people my people…don’t know who I hate more right now the man beating his woman or the people co-signing this mess.
    
    I-WILL-KILL!!!
    - http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl
      
      LOL true true
    - Myseducation
      
      Of course the man would have to die.
      
      The only question that remains is how many different methods of castration could take place before he drew his final breath.
http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

all of those are punishable offenses. especially the last. well i think i would have found that out the first time we attempted to have sex. i don’t care how good your doctor is. he/she ain’t that good.

those shoes are trash. if i ever saw a woman with those on i would clown on site. i’d probably ask her something like how her crossover dribble is.

i would like to add putting your hands on me. even if a woman slapped me, our relationship would be deaded. matter of fact i’ve deaded a 2 year relationship for a woman slapping me in public. now it wouldn’t come as a surprise. i have no problem telling people i grew up in a household where i was exposed to domestic violence and i have no desire have that in my life.
- Ms. My2Cents
  
  “those shoes are trash. if i ever saw a woman with those on i would clown on site. i’d probably ask her something like how her crossover dribble is.”
  
  You should also inquire about her 2 sprained (or broken) ankles!
  
  The only acceptable wearing of these shoes would be as part of a Halloween costume (and only if I no actual monies exchanged hands…free.99).
- http://lefthandscribble.tumblr.com LoveB_Jones
  
  I find it funny that the sneaker high heel is being revitalized seeing how that was a fad when I was in 8th grade back in 2003-04. I’m still waiting on the Timberland heel comeback too. I’m not even gonna lie I use to own a pair that I wore twice. Oh to be young and stupid.
  - Mel
    
    Wait… LoveB_Jones are you a 90′s BABY??!!! Lawd I feel old and I’m 25 going on 26…
  - http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7
    
    8th grade in 03-04? sheesh i graduated college in 2003. i feel old.
    - http://lefthandscribble.tumblr.com LoveB_Jones
      
      LOL…don’t feel that way. I always feel like the baby when I do comment on here b/c I am outnumbered.
      - http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7
        
        better to feel like the baby than the resident old man.
        
        Rog
        
        Most of you guys are pretty up there high five to my fellow late 80′s early 90′s baby, I was in 10th grade in 03.
        
        Rog
        
        I meant to add an “lol” and a , you guys (the mid to late 20′s) group aren’t that old lol
        
        Mr. Gundam
        
        Yeahhhh 10th Grade, I miss playing Uno and Spades during homeroom/lunch.
        
        Looks at pic—–> Haha, did nike put any money on these or are they a street exclusive. Nobody wears those right……Right??
        
        CaribbeanQueen
        
        yes this is how i became a PRO at spades
        
        simplysope
        
        Sir, I have witnessed that foolery in REAL LIFE with my REAL EYEBALLS. Smdh. A friend of mine made a joke about me wearing them and I told him if he ever caught me in them he had my advance permission to run up on me and trip my ass on the spot.
        
        Cosign that Spade in the 10th grade, ayyye! I’d also like to add Spades made the bus ride much more bearable. I attribute my Spades prowess to the school bus, lol.
        
        Amos Banks
        
        Wow, I was in 10th grade in 1985!
        
        IET
        
        I was born in 1984! lol its all good
        
        Sula
        
        I co-sign a study on the breakdown by age of VSB participants…
        
        I just need to know if VSB jumped the shark for folks my age… and if so and indication on where the geriatrics should go to get their kicks? ThankYouVeryMuch.
        
        Cris Until I Find A Clever Name
        
        I was in 10th Grade in 1985 too.
        I thought I was the old bag on here so I kinds stopped visiting
        
        WorldClassMC
        
        I was in 10th grade that year too! It’s more of us reading than I thought.
        
        http://twitter.com/sonofthehorizon stlunatic
        
        same here
        
        littlemissgradschool
        
        11th grade! That actually was my favorite year.
        
        DQ
        
        You’re not the resident old man. Trust me. I am so much older than y’all that I won’t even say where I was in 03.
        
        Yoles
        
        i was getting my first masters degree in 03-04…. BAM and i had a BA for years before that….
        
        Tentpole
        
        I am president of resident old man club. Disco was was in its heyday when I was getting my BA
        
        DQ
        
        I got my Master’s Degree in 2000, and I took my time doing it
        
        http://quietstorm34.wordpress.com mellow
        
        I got mine in 02. I’d be interested in knowing VSB’s age demographics too.
        
        http://www.vanitaapplebum.com vanitaapplebum
        
        School in the 2000′s? Where the senior section? I need to be there.
        
        http://GenevaGirl.net Geneva Girl
        
        I feel like these kids’ mom! I’m pushing the upper limits of the readership, but I am very entertained by their opinions.
      - CaribbeanQueen
        
        I thought I was the youngest one! I was in 9th grade in 03-04
        
        but I have to say I feel like sometimes the older people here are funnier and realer than the people my age that I know lol
        
        DG
        
        That’s because we probably are…
        
        Tentpole
        
        Its the result of been there done that first. Now i get to sit back and laught at you when you make the same mistake
        
        WIP
        
        Exactly. It’s much easier to laugh looking backward.
        
        DQ
        
        I will say that VSB is good in one regard that I, as an older dude, can see they didn’t stop making them “smart” after they made my generation – and that’s encouraging.
        
        I certainly don’t win anything but younger people being stupid, so you all here give me hope (and laugher on occasion, though it’s not always intentional)
        
        Sula
        
        I concur.
        
        (but did she really call us “The old people on here”?… Dang! When did this happen? Lol!)
        
        miss t-lee
        
        Yes she did girl. Dayum. :/
        
        V Renee
        
        but I have to say I feel like sometimes the older people here are funnier and realer than the people my age that I know lol .
        
        Now I feel old. CQ basically said, I didn’t know old people could be funny. Let me go schedule a botox appointment and pick up my Metamucil. LMAO
        
        CaribbeanQueen
        
        Lol no! I just thought we might have different senses of humor.. For example when I watch tv with people like 40+ I swear they will be DYING laughing at something extra corny or something like a commercial thats meant for a slight chuckle. And I’ll think to myself “well damn, do you start to think corny=funny when you get older or something?”
        
        Classy6ft5
        
        You are probably:
        
        a) watchin tv with 2520′s
        
        or
        
        b) said commercials are referencing/making reference to things you might not have experienced yet and you just don’t “get it”.
        
        Just a thought. Idk.
        
        Tentpole
        
        It’s not that, we can just relate better. Mostly because we seen it in real life.
        
        http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie
        
        I stand by the FACT that babies and old people are the funniest folks around.
        
        simplysope
        
        Truth Cheekie. I taught a Sunday School class for 3-5 year olds, I was never without laughter.
        
        Me: What keeps us from going to Heaven? (I was looking for answers like ‘Being bad’ etc)
        
        Tobi (Age 4): We can’t go to Heaven because its in space and we can’t breath up there cuz there is no air in space!
        
        Me: o.O
        
        I couldn’t even be mad because there ISN’T any air in space. Lmao. #mybabies
        
        Yonnie 3000
        
        Maybe Liz can give us some stats. Liz, what is the average age of the VSB reader/commenter?
        
        Classy6ft5
        
        Good idea. A poll should be taken.
        
        http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie
        
        Yeah, should be interesting. Like the one we did for race.
        
        http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie
        
        ETA: Wait… not race (I actually have no clue how they did that one), I meant, cities lol
    - TWIsM81
      
      Don’t worry, Mad. That was the year I graduated undergrad too. And it was also the year my list of instant break-up offenses was put into “consideration for moderation.” Oh well. lol
      - http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7
        
        i figured that by the 81 at the end of your name. 81 babies for the win.
        
        WIP
        
        co-sign 1981 as a damn good year LOL
        
        http://thecocoaluvchronicles.blogspot.com Miss Cocoa Luv
        
        lolol i tried to lurk but couldn’t resist commenting. I’m facing 30 so shout out to the 81′s
        
        TheAnti-Cool
        
        I’m an 81 baby too. Woot.
        
        Beremore
        
        yea buddy! 81 ALL day…
        
        PerceptionIsYourReality
        
        Hey What ya’ll know about the Mid-80′s babies?!! 1985 STAND UP!! LOL!
        
        Pretty Primadonna
        
        Woop woop! Sound off!
  - Taylormay
    
    I’m still waiting on the Timberland heel comeback too.
    
    yeah i remember all the girls in middle/high school were falling up the stairs trying to walk in those like beyonce in that bonnie and clyde video. lol
  - http://yourchildsmother.blogspot.com/ KMN
    
    LMAO alla yall make me sick…I was pomp and circumstancing from high school in 1994. I tootsie rolled my behind into college that year…
    
    Spring chackens (yes i said chackens)
    
    KMN
    - http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie
      
      I SO approve of the “pomp and circumstancing” usage. *daps and whatnot*
    - The Law
      
      ’94s all day, errday!
      
      #thatisall
- coldsweat3
  
  yah slapping me is not okay. I am not trynna have any Help Ike moments. Bye.
- http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl
  
  Have you ever seen after pics of the surgery? NOTHING about that looks like a real vagin@…nothing. I don’t know how ninjas get swindled cause it def don’t look right.
  
  I never for the life of me understood why women hit men. Men are STRONG. I’ve been hit by a man once and I felt like my head was going to fall off my shoulders. I seriously looked at the ground wondering if my head was rolling away. <— that was dumb, I know. Why on earth would any woman challenge a man like that? That's just asking for it. Those type of women usually have a long list of problems anyway so they should be easy to spot.
  - Classy6ft5
    
    I seriously looked at the ground wondering if my head was rolling away. <— that was dumb, I know.
    
    No, that was a great figurative description to help us understand the force that was felt when you were hit.
  - V Renee
    
    You gon get me fired because I surely was on google trying to google before and after pics. LOL
    - Squeak
      
      ROFL!
  - whyaskquestions
    
    i’m ready to fight any man at any time if need be.
    
    im not sayin im gonna start it nor am i saying im gonna win. but im ready nonetheless.
    
    attention woman beaters of the world: if you hit me, be ready to kill me because i will not stop until one of us is dead.
    - Squeak
      
      This is funny cuz me and my homeboy was just talkin about how dudes fight and get it over with. u win or lose. Women fight to the death.
    - http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl
      
      I’m sorry I just died with laughter!!! TRUE. Homeboy was literally trying to kill me but lucky for me, I’m a crazy rass mudda sucka so I put up a hell of a fight. I would never hit a man or start anything crazy with a man. That’s just asking for it but I will finish it. It’s like trying to fight that big mannish girl in highschool, I said “I may not win but I’m going to eff your face up on my way down to the ground.” I’ll always go down swinging. I gained alot of respect that day.
      
      Don’t try me…
http://fatgrlatheart.com fatgrlatheart

ditto on you can’t have any sort of problem with my mama. at all.
- Girl Kanyeshrug
  
  Yeh that is the ultimate deal breaker.
  However I know my mom likes to throw shade at people so I would intercede on someone’s behalf. BUT I am the one who will do the interceding…
  - whyaskquestions
    
    yeah i have to say the woman in my family are mean and have done and said things to girlfriends of family members that warranted a cuss out if not full blown beat down (this has never happened but if it had i wouldnt be shocked). im serious guys, theyve done some really ugly sh*t to these unsuspecting broads. however, the expectation is that the person that brought them to thanksgiving dinner should be ready to intercede on a moment’s notice.
    - littlemissgradschool
      
      i’d expect the man to intercede, but if he doesn’t and it happens repeatedly…i was taught how to respectfully tell someone where to go and how to get there all without cursing, raising my voice, being demeaning, and with a smile on my face. So, I’d do it, and then exit stage left with my dignity still intact.
      
      Fortunately though, mothers/families love me! Still have relationships with them years after the breakup.
Cici

This was hilarious! I’ll think of something when I’m more awake.
What is with this “queen” and “king” title trend I see among blacks these days? (Note: I am black, but I guess I’m just out of the loop.)
- http://www.awordorthree.com Crystal Marie
  
  lol at you being out o fthe black loop.
- CAsweetface
  
  Lol, I’m a black as well and TOTALLY out of the loop on this “Queen/King” trend. My first legitimate friend that I met in DC that was actually from DC, because most of us aren’t from here from what I’ve observed, calls his mom Queen. All of the kids do. Interesting. I might have to do that with my kids when I actually have some…hmmmm
tgtaggie

My instantly breakupable offense is…if she was a Duke fan. lol. ‘Cause I would be doing the dougie right in front of her face at this moment. Arizona opened a can of whup a** on Duke tonight. They even had Nolan Smith crying and ish. Now that’s funny….Oh, and I forgot gooooo Tarheels!!!
- DQ
  
  ROTFLMAO
  
  Hit that Dougie Pimp. It’s alright. The nation is hitting that Dougie with you.
  - tgtaggie
    
    I’m pretty sure Jalen Rose is also doing the dougie at this moment. lol.
    - DQ
      
      Some of their fans on Twitter are really getting in their feelings LOL It’s hilarious. They’re actually talking $h!t about Jalen.
      - http://iamyourpeople.com/ I Am Your People
        
        *tootsie rolls* @ Duke being eliminated. Of course, I really want to see them eliminated in the first round by Cuyahoga Community College or DeVry, but I’m happy nonetheless
        
        http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul
        
        ^LOL!
        
        V Renee
        
        Or Morris Brown?
        
        (Phidelity – I was just kidding )
        
        http://twitter.com/Phidelity15 Phidelity15
        
        you got me dyyyyyyying in here! That so caught me off guard I can’t even stop laughing. Good one V
- Medium Meech
  
  Yeah, I wouldn’t date a Crystal Light drinking, Kobe Bryant loving (He was going play at Duke, go figure), knife and fork to eat ribs using, front running, top 100 pop song radio station listening to, no contraction or pinky using, “barbarian cream” eating Uncle Tom sympathizer either.
  
  Or are they Aunt Thomasinas? Whatever, PICK A SIDE SOFT SHOE! The revolution was televised! *ducks shots from the Black Crusaders*
  
  *I’m clearly lying. I’ve had more dates with AKAs than planned parenthood after All Star Weekend. I kid, I kid…
  - DQ
    
    What are the text symbols for a shocked smiley? Is this it? (l’o'l)
- Naomi
  
  i’m mad that zona beat texas (with the bogus call), but that propet thrashing they laid on duke in th 2nd half, made me smile….can’t even much lie. Derek Williams is a stud.
  
  to answer the post, not liking basketball would be a definite dealbreaker for me. i’m a hoops junkie.
  - Beremore
    
    “to answer the post, not liking basketball would be a definite dealbreaker for me. i’m a hoops junkie.”
    
    yup this all day is a side eye and a prompt exit stage left…
- http://brotherjamesthetastemaker.tumblr.com ChaoticDiva
  
  Michigan. Eff the Wolverines. It’s a dealbreaker. I’ve tried, and have gotten into serious arguments during football season nearly coming to blows. Yearly.
  
  Hell, I don’t get along with my best friend during football season because of that.
  - Regular Brotha
    
    You make a brotha all warm and squishy inside!
    
    O-H….
    
    Even if you’re Sparty, I’ll give you e-dapp for that too!
    - V Renee
      
      I-O!!
    - http://brotherjamesthetastemaker.tumblr.com ChaoticDiva
      
      MSU-OSU || State Love!!!!
      
      *e-daps*
    - Mo-VSS
      
      As an Ohio State graduate, I approve this message!
      
      Go Bucks!!!!
- http://www.shift88.com/cha SpottieOttieDarlin
  
  Heelz yea!!!!
http://hotbiscuitsandgravy.blogspot.com Bengemin Grehe

Rebecca Black is a breakupable offense.

Dude, I am truly mystified by those shoes. Are those candy cane heals? It’s a mystery to me.
keisha brown

*waits for cheekie on the lion king reference.
whitney houston (BC aka before crack) reference
equals
win.
i gotta think about this…
ARIZONA!!!!!!!!!!!
*drops asleep
- tgtaggie
  
  I was channel surfing and saw Arizona at the 14min mark and they weren’t missing any shots…I said to myself. Its going to be a quiet flight back to Raleigh for Coach K and co. tonight
- http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie
  
  “*waits for cheekie on the lion king reference.”
  
  Yup. Acknowledged below.
  
  AND. YOU. KNOW. THIS. MAYNE.
http://www.awordorthree.com Crystal Marie

Instantly Breakupable Offenses:

1. The intentional flinging of bodily fluids like feces, vomit or saliva. (I know this is really random… but as a germophobe, it’s something that really scares me)

2. Eating the last Golden Oreo.

3. Selling Crack Cocaine

4. Failure to recognize a widly different hair style/cut/color. (“What?!? I thought it was always green!”)
- Myseducation
  
  Co-sign on the crack…
  
  Or anything smelling of a Mexican drug cartel
- DG
  
  WTF?? Intentional flinging??? You been watching too much “Locked Up”, girl…change the channel.
  - http://jouromeo.blogspot.com/ Sage of Silence
    
    Really, hair cuts? Sometimes there is a lot on a man’s mind. Where is the acceptance? The forgiveness and understanding?
    
    Why can’t you just love me flaws and all???? lol
    
    Automatic termination: extreme sexual deviance (no reformed pros)
    serious lies
    telling me how big the last dude was by comparison to my Deez
    attacking me with weapons
    and everything P said except them boots…I’ll let them slide in a bedroom, psssshhh, that ish could be real sexy on the right woman…..smh@y’all
    - http://www.awordorthree.com Crystal Marie
      
      Ha at “flaws and all”. If you have so much on your mind you don’t notice a missing 4 inches of hair… you need to see a mental health professional.
- WIP
  
  “1. The intentional flinging of bodily fluids like fece$, v0mit or saliva. (I know this is really random… but as a germophobe, it’s something that really scares me)”
  
  Why would this ever happen? In what circumstance would these substances be “flung”?
  - http://www.awordorthree.com Crystal Marie
    
    Hey… I don’t know if someone wearing those shoes is likely, so is the intentional flinging of bodily fluids.
    - WIP
      
      I guess someone could throw fecaI matter at the actual shoes LOL
  - http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl
    
    Okay this is going to be T.M.I. but I kinda cosign w/ Crystal Marie. I’m not saying this happened to me but what if you’re about to have s.ex with a man and he blows a spit wad at your vajayjay? Or blows a spit wad in your mouth like they do in pr0nos? Or you’re massaging his head and he accidentally skeets a load on your face? Or you’re talking to him and he accidentally throws up on your chest? That’s an instant break up offense. Just me? Okay sorry.
    
    It’s friday, what?
    
    *goes to corner*
    - http://awordorthree.com Crystal Marie
      
      I’m going to go ahead and agree with everything you said SmartFoxGirl without acknowledging any personal experience.
    - DQ
      
      So these are the things that go along with being your e-boo? I’m a little bit frightened and intrigued at the same time.
      
      Call me
      
      555-5555
      - http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl
        
        I’m watching you. I’ll come for you when you’re ripe and ready around these parts. Right now you’re in the probationary period. I have a small questionaire. You would need to gain a certain amount of wise gentleman/dumb freaky points in order to be my e-boo.
        
        I’ll hit you up later.
        
        This is not a game.
        
        CNotes
        
        @SFG
        
        “This is not a game.”
        
        *Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
        (Grabs popcorn from microwave)
        (Sits in the front row)
        (Munches on popcorn in anticipation)
        
        http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl
        
        LOL girl he aint ready
    - ChloeRayne516
      
      WTF!!!
      
      Okay. Although highly disgusting I can see why a dude may want to spit in the cooch, BUT please explain to me like I’m a 5 year old why would a man spit in your mouth, what is he prepping your mouth for?
      
      o__o
      - http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl
        
        I’m not sure but dem 2520 p0rno chicks be lovin it. It’s just gross in my opinion and that means alot coming from me.
        
        Tentpole
        
        SFG thanks for the education when is the test. I like to see if I am worthy
      - http://www.shift88.com/cha SpottieOttieDarlin
        
        BUT please explain to me like I’m a 5 year old why would a man spit in your mouth, what is he prepping your mouth for?
        
        I’m just as confused as you about this….
        
        http://jouromeo.blogspot.com/ Sage of Silence
        
        Many things that are done in pr0n is psychological even if it wasn’t intended to be. Everything has a symbolic meaning.
        In short, from terminology to actions, it all has a reason and a meaning.
        Most things are about compliance and unequivocal acceptance( oral and other types of chex primarily including the fluid exchange …).
        
        The hidden part to this is that the enacting parties involved may not derive any sensation or pleasure from some of these acts whereas the voyeurs achieve great euphoria from viewing subtle yet salient acts of superiority or domination.
        
        Taking cues from what the mainstream pr0n community likes to deliver a more polished product.
        Yes, I’m serious…and yes…I’m paranoid…and yes, I believe every word of it.
        A Happy Extra “Medium”
        
        whyaskquestions
        
        agreed.
        
        a lot of people enjoy seeing someone in complete submission or being defiled.
        
        @SFG
        you’re talking and all of a sudden he throws up on your chest?????
        
        lmao!!! what? what the hell were yall talking about?
        
        http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl
        
        @SageofSilence
        Good breakdown! It’s all about domination. Some voyers like to see the girl get trashed or mistreated. Sick puppies.
        
        @Whyaskquestions
        These are all hypotheticals. I wish a ninja would throw up on me.
        
        Yoles
        
        @SFG
        
        but vomiting would imply that he was ill no? im confused just like a child sometimes people can not help when and where it comes up….
        
        http://www.shift88.com/cha SpottieOttieDarlin
        
        Thank you, Sage. I had no idea there was so much science behind it.
    - WIP
      
      y’all nasty
- luvtheshoes
  
  2. Eating the last Golden Oreo.
  
  Yes on the Golden Oreos! I love them things so much. Dairy Queen had a golden oreo blizzard that I never got around to trying that I’m still mad at myself about.
  - http://awordorthree.com Crystal Marie
    
    I dislike the bitterness of the chocolate in traditional Oreos. But the Golden Oreos?!?! Man….
    - http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie
      
      Ya’ll ever had those reverse Oreos?
    - whyaskquestions
      
      you know the store brand of those kind of cookies are really good too. so you dont have to pay the oreo price but you can still get the oreo experience.
      
      i used to get them all the time but just recently ive become…lactose intolerant!!!
      
      FML and yes its irrelevant but yes i had to share
- Girl Kanyeshrug
  
  There are some concerts I have heard of where they fling feces, vomit or saliva- just be aware
  - CurlyTop
    
    I have been to these [rock] concerts and you won’t find me in the front row. One performer threw his drwals into the audience and 2520′s were reaching for it. Yes, a fight broke out for the underwear of a man who probably showers twice a month. Minus that, great concert
http://lefthandscribble.tumblr.com LoveB_Jones

“F*ck them other n*ggas because I’m down for my n*ggas.” —>The sound of an Alpha whistle and the image of them strolling automatically popped up in my head.
- http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul
  
  For me, this reminds me of having a ball at Republic Gardens and Howard homecoming back in the day.
  - coldsweat3
    
    A-PHI!! couldn’t resist. lol
    - Caballeroso
      
      06!
      - littlemissgradschool
        
        08!
- Beremore
  
  “The sound of an Alpha whistle and the image of them strolling automatically popped up in my head.”
  
  You too?! Man I hate that I am forever conditioned to all things fraternal as they pertain Alphas and Omegas as a result of my boys in undergrad. #damnshame