Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists, Theory & Essay

Game That Guys Run Even When We Don’t Know It

We’ve written a lot about game here lately. Perhaps we should start a series or something. You know what? A blog series?

That’s game.

Anyway, I have a question for the peanut gallery? What’s the most important thing to a woman?

*numerous people putting their hands where my eyes can see*

You there, with the 8-Ball jacket on?

Stability!?

Good job, padawan. And throw in responsibility and the ability to make them laugh for good measure. While men are more concerned with a woman’s hip-to-arse ratio, flexibility, and how good she is at playing the silent game, women are concerned about security and stability. Men want their women doing nude handstands and women will do it as long as there is a brace in place to keep them up. Women are (generally) concerned about the long yardage whereas men care about the short game. It’s been like this since those two cavemen started Geico in 2 million BC back when the slogan was “Make ‘Em Say Uggggggh”.

*rimshot*

Given what we know about women, I’ve come to the conclusion that men are out here running game on women without even knowing it. Word.Life. Everyday when a man hops up out of his bed and turns his swag on, and looks in his mirror to say what’s up, he’s running game. And do you know why? What do you need to look in the mirror?

Lights. That means he paid his light bill.

Paying bills? That’s game.

I see you looking at me like, yo, Vitamin P, I know you can do better than that. Why don’t you kick a little something for them cars that be bumpin?

Alright.

1) Good Credit

A long time ago, I had this bright idea to get a tshirt made that said, “I’m A Black Man With Good Credit” and on the back put my credit score. I never made that shirt, but if there’s one thing that perks up a woman with a degree it’s a man with a good credit score. Even if I’m more Trey than Songz, I couldn’t lose with a shirt like that. Nothing says stable like a good credit score. By the way, if you’re credit score is roughly your age, reading this blog won’t increase your score. And if Methuselah is reading this, and his credit score is his age, then he’s doing a-ok.

2) Volunteer

You know what warms my heart? A blanket. Do you know what warms many women’s hearts? A man who cares about other people. I used to volunteer at this high school in DC and I can’t tell you how many women were in there helping out. How many Black men? Two of us. It was a veritable buffet of liberal, pot smoking idealist women with big hair and non-profit salaries. Your only requirement is to NOT MESS IT UP. Dudes, if you volunteer, the women will take notice. Especially if it’s not just part of some social organization volunteer requirement. Like do it on your own. Self-love.

3) Be funny

We’ve covered this ad nauseum but a funny man – even a funny looking one – can always meet women. If he’s just funny by nature, he’ll stay winning because women like smiling. It just touches a part of them that makes them want to do happy things and say happy sayings. You become infinitely more attractive by being funny and therefore you have upped your options in the dating pool. That? Is game.

4) Be a good writer

You had to see this one coming. While I can definitely speak for myself and The Champ, I can’t speak on the motivations for every other male blogger. But if you can write well AND are funny…let’s just say it’s a combination that women really enjoy. It’s game. You use the talents you’re born with and women find it appealing. Not me though. Nobody loves Panama Jackson.

^Is called pandering. Mostly because we all know it’s a lie. I’m sexxy beeeyotch.

5) Help an old lady across the street

Game. Set. Match. I’ve ACTUALLY seen a woman give my boy her number because he walked Cicely Tyson across the street. Speaks to responsibility.

6) Own something

No, literally anything. Own a decrepit piece of property. Own a shellfish. Own a shell. It all works because paying taxes is 2/47 of the law, but ownership will keep you winning 12 times out of 8.

7) Be employed

Duh. There’s definitely romance without finance. But you’re not dating a woman who reads without a job. Actually that’s a lie. As long as you have goals women will give you a break. So let’s just say having a job ups your credentials and therefore is game. G-5? Naw son…bingo.

Anyway, good denizens of the jungle no bunny, what other game do men run without even knowing it?

(I think I might do this woman’s version too, just to be fair. EOE and what not.)

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka VITAMIN P aka 40p aka lower.case.p aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3

Filed Under: ,
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

    1. Hard to get. – When you are living your life, you tend to be busy. In fact, up until you got that girl’s number last week, you barely have time for anything else. So naturally, some of the times she wants to see you, you are not available. And if you are about your business, you sometimes put it ahead of her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. So those jealousy. And those thoughts that there could be something more important than her just make her want to SHOW you what you are missing.

    2. Being respectful. Some of us grew up with the expectation that a man treats a woman a certain way. She is respected, doors are opened for her, chairs and coats pulled back. We stand and smile when she enters the room. So while you are carrying on with your normal behavior, she’s thinking – wow, this guy is treating me special. I don’t see it as special, but apparently so many of my fellow men are trifling, that what seems to be everyday behavior to me ends up being panty moisturizer for her.

    PS, Hi Luvvie!

    • M. Shavonne

      I call BS on number one. Absence make your number deleted.

      • Naomi

        buahahahaha @ “absence makes your number deleted.”

        well i like a mix of being interested/hard to get, so i don’t know about completely playing hard to get cuz that usually comes off as just being uninterested.

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        “Absence make your number deleted.”

        HAHAHAHA!!

    • http://lizburr.com Liz

      Your number 2 is right. Guys who open doors for me, walk on the outside side of the sidewalk always catch my attention. I don’t even have to be interested in them, they don’t have to be interested in me. They just do it. And it’s automatic game, just off GP. And yes we can tell when you’re doing it on purpose (because you’re trying to run game) vs. when you’re doing it because you were raised that way. Those guys always fascinate me, especially the ones who are my age.

      • YAYER

        @Liz

        i love chivalrous dudes, too bad they’re a dying breed! you know i hear guys who say they don’t do stuff like that any more because one too many females have bitten off their (men’s) heads about it but i’ve never actually seen this happening,i mean what female wouldn’t want the door opened for her?

        • http://lizburr.com Liz

          I think any man who was truly raised to do this out of habit wouldn’t let a woman talk him out of this habit. Those guys are just posing.

          And yes, they’re a dying breed. I love these guys though! Even though I don’t need a man to do all that stuff for me, it’s so nice to have them do it. In some ways I am very old fashioned like this. I try not to take advantage of my male friends who are like this though, because it’s easy to get used to.

        • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

          I’ve found that for some women you have to gauge them – pretty much pay close attention to how they react when you do things to see where they stand.

          I’ve not had anyone go off on me per se. But I have had women express discomfort or dislike with certain things (like opening car doors for them or walking on the street side). However, it turned out that while they may not have liked specific things done for them, they loved others. So one shouldn’t go cold turkey just because someone critiques one aspect.

      • HR_maggedon

        OMG!!!! my boyfriend does this all the time! I never knew how important walking on the inside!!! he still won’t let me open my own car door! at first i thought it was game, but almost two years in, and he STILL does it.

        I *hawt* him

        • http://lizburr.com Liz

          awwww!

          Yeah some dude I fell for back in the day? Always did the sidewalk thing. These days? Never crosses his mind lol. We’re still cool and all, but…yeah. That was him *trying* to have game. There’s nothing like the real thing.

      • ComicBookGuy

        “…walk on the outside side of the sidewalk always catch my attention.”

        A lot of men don’t know about that at all, like seriously. When woman is walking with her children, they should let their children walk on the inside side of the sidewalk. When a man is with a woman, the man should always be on the outside, even in a parking lot. I even taught that to my nephew to do that as a kid when he walked with his twin sister. He will find out how much that will pay off when he starts dating in college. What’s even more surprising about stuff like that is how many women have no idea about it. I would always move to the outside of the sidewalk when I would walk with a girl and they would have no idea what I was doing until I explained it to them. Some chicks don’t know that a man is supposed to allow the woman to sit down first before he does when out eating. Crazy.

        • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

          This is a staple. It’s not to say a car wouldn’t crush you both but I pray that I absorb most of the impact and maybe have time to push my child out of the way if a driver wasn’t paying attention and got close. This just shows that you would protect the person and will always get noticed by me.

        • V Renee

          I also think the man should sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door. That way if the boogey man comes in, they can get his azz first, while I try to dip. LOL

          • Sula

            I also think the man should sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door

            I was about to say that… A man always sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the door…etc…

            Dead @Boogeyman

          • http://lizburr.com Liz

            lol yes! my grandfather always did this! he also would never sit with his back to the door when in a restaurant or anything. I always notice that about a guy who is consistent with this stuff. One of my male friends, whenever we go out, he’s always like, “Liz, why are you in my seat?” because he knows I know where he’s supposed to sit, walk, etc.

          • V

            *flat line*

      • Ash

        “Your number 2 is right. Guys who open doors for me, walk on the outside side of the sidewalk always catch my attention. I don’t even have to be interested in them, they don’t have to be interested in me. They just do it. And it’s automatic game, just off GP.”

        Yes! I love when men do this. Dating or not, it always gives them points in my book…

      • http://justlissen.wordpress.com JustLissen

        Open the door, walk on the outside of the sidewalk, and the kicker… give me (or another woman) your seat on a crowded bus/metro/ train. I literally stop in my tracks, mouth wide open, and blink rapidly.
        Another game runner: You notice that I changed my nail polish. When you notice little, inconsequential things… makes me stop and appreciate your presence.
        Another attractive quality/ possibly game thing: when you have strong positive relationships with other black men. call’em your boys… whatever… when you do things with them that occupy your time it’s huge plus.
        And when you have a hobby… it can be as simple as reading the comics… something you do on a consistent basis really makes me think you’re reliable and your diligent. IDK why!

    • http://thebeautyaficionado.wordpress.com thebeautyaficionado

      1. Hard to get. – When you are living your life, you tend to be busy. In fact, up until you got that girl’s number last week, you barely have time for anything else. So naturally, some of the times she wants to see you, you are not available. And if you are about your business, you sometimes put it ahead of her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. So those jealousy. And those thoughts that there could be something more important than her just make her want to SHOW you what you are missing.

      BOOM!!!! Though a bit like playing Russian roulette….this can go on for awhile, but in the end women don’t want ANYTHING to be more important than them. We will find someone who will make US #1

      • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

        If it goes on for too long, then things deserve to end. At some point, there should be a crossover where you become more important than most other things going on. If it never happens, then perhaps it’s best we go our separate ways.

        • Trouble

          @Kamukaula and @thebeautyaficionado I agree with you both. There’s nothing ilke a man with ambition and a man that is about his business. At the end of the day, it’s the little things a man does to make his lady feel special. ie. A ‘I was just thinking about you’ text, sending an e-card from time to time…anything to keep things fresh! otherwise, as Aretha says:

          “take me to heart and I’ll always love you, and nobody can make me do wrong. Take me for granted, leaving love unsure- makes will-power weak, and temptation strong”

      • Smokie

        I actually prefer men who lead busy lives but make time for me from Day 1. That turns me on far more than a man who isn’t available from the start. If he’s REALLY about his business, he’s setting his own schedule and getting to know ME is a priority…from Day 1. Otherwise, there is no Day 2. (I’m married, but this is how I rolled when I dated.)

        • Smokie

          And besides, a man who claims to be so busy that he can’t make time for you on a regular basis …isn’t really THAT interested in the first place.

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      Your number one is most definitely true, in moderation. You have to really know how to play the game of being absent just enough, then popping up right when she wonders “Where the eff is this ninja?” I swear some of ya’ll got that pitch-perfect radar. This dude I’m talkin to is great at it…well, he was in the beginning…the time and space in between is getting wider and wider and I’m caring less and less. We’ll see… lol

      • http://myspace.com/KatherineEWebb KitKatCuty84

        I think it depends on the type of girl you’re playing this game with. If this girl really likes you, and clearly is holding you above the other dudes she’s seeing (or she’s not seeing any other dudes), AND isn’t incredibly busy, then this works. In moderation, like you said.

        But if she’s busy? Like really busy? And if she meets new guys all the time (interesting, potentially BETTER guys)? And if you really didn’t play that absence thing quite right? Then heck yeah, I’m not gonna EVER wonder where the ninja is because I’ll be too busy dealing with new/other ninjas to worry about that. And when it’s the lonely hour and I need a dude to come over quick, I guarantee you I’ll call the dependable ninja over the one who’s prone to disappearing acts. At midnight, I’d like a sure thing. Please and thank you. :)

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          *snaps in Z-formation*

          Whoop there it is…

        • Sula

          Agreed with you KitCat… I, for one, will not even realize that you were playing hard to get… Lol. And then you would call back and I would be like, who is this again? :)

    • DeuceB

      Women really are “surprised” by guys opening doors? You guys must live “up nawf”.

      • Sula

        I think it’s really regional… because down here, dudes do this naturally…

    • sunshyne84

      u have to get the heart first, otherwise like said before your absence will get your number deleted!

  • Divine

    I literally died at “Make Em Say Ugggggh.” I don’t think you understand that there was a snot and a snort on that one! Good job P!

    But to answer your question, I would say that a woman’s game without even knowing it is keeping her hair done.

    Nothing pisses my daddy off more than to see a woman with her hair all over her head. Bad weaves/lacefronts send him to the EDGE!! Yaheardme??!!

    In college I remember needing money for books and he said he was broke. I called the next day wanting to get my hair done and he said, “Is $50 ok?” That man would break off some money for hair!

    Anyway, most women like to keep their hair tight, no matter the style or texture. I think men respond when it’s done well.

    • Divine

      It must be said that I went to FAMU – the best HBCU in the land. That is all.

      • B. Brown

        You get 1887 cool points for this.

        • http://twitter.com/Yonnie3000 Yonnie 3000

          FAM got damn U alright, alright, alright

          Hey Rattlers!

      • Caballeroso

        You left out a key phrase. I’ll help you. ” – the best HBCU in the land if you don’t compare it to Southern University”.

        You’re welcome. :)

        • B. Brown

          ^ And this right here is a perfect example of #3.

          That was right on time, Caballeroso. ‘Preciate ya.

        • ComicBookGuy

          Now, frat, you know I was going to let you slide with that one. You meant to say the home of the defending SWAC champions, PVAMU. (Yeah, that is SWAC shots fired, but it is good to be around people who know what the hell I am talking about.)

          • afrolista

            *does pv shuffle*

            co-effing sign! P V U know! I love my school bad financial aid and all.

            *back to lurker land*

        • CNotes

          @Caballeroso

          SSSSSS….U! S-S-S-S-S-SU!!

          Caballeroso? Did you go to Southern?

          • Caballeroso

            Fa sho’!!!

        • http://satcpsychology.wordpress.com MsVivienne

          Amen @ the addendum!

          SSSSSSSSSSSU! #asyouwere

      • P.

        Everybody knows the best HBCU is HU. And I mean Howard, the real HU, before any Hampton Institute people get started.

        • legitimate_soul

          @P.

          You bettah say that! :D

        • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

          Word to the mighty, might Bison!

        • http://twitter.com/Yonnie3000 Yonnie 3000

          Ya’ll stay crackin’ me up with that one. If there was a real HU, you wouldn’t have to tell us what it is every. single. time.

        • HR_maggedon

          *********AHEM************

          I’ll be the first Hamptonian to say that howard is the “real HU”…

          but guys….. you suck monkey balls at football. even OBAMA said it.

          • sweetbee

            co-sign fellow hamptonian!!

            Until Howard gets their act together…please stay in the bleachers.

          • Yeah…So

            Uh HELLO! Goodness.

          • legitimate_soul

            @HR_maggedon,
            I appreciate you being fair and balance, lol! Football skill or not, you know the HOMECOMING IS CRANKIN’!!!

      • Divine

        I’d just like to say, ya’ll wrong for jumping on my post hollerin’ out all these inferior colleges and whatnot. But I will say this — FAMU rocks, Southern kicks rocks, PV can’t even find rocks, Hampton is only cool cause it’s by the ocean, and Howard…ummm just one statistic, 50-7 last week. FAM-gotdamn-U!!! Alright, Alright, Alright!!!!

        • CNotes

          @Divine

          FAMU sucks like the youngest mayor of Detroit! Whoops, wait a minute! That’s right (snaps fingers)!!!……FAMU bred him.

          SSSSSSSS….U!!!!!
          (dougies out of the door)

          • B. Brown

            I’ll take your Kwame and raise you a Bill Jefferson.

        • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ MadScientist7

          all this talk about best HBCUs. smh. no one ever mentions the HBCU that graduates the top number of black doctors in the country every year. that’s right. Meharry Medical College. Check the stats.

          oh and my alma mater as well. UMES :-)

    • acn

      goodness! this is the must unrecognized game that women run. had a college buddy whose mother sent her to get her hair done on a weekly basis. i bet the amount she spent on hair would have helped pay her tuition. same person took at more than 50K on tuition.

      my mother was kind of like this. was willing to do anything to make sure I looked good because appearance is everything.

      i’m not sure if we have our priorities together.

  • http://www.tessism.com Tessism

    First? Anyhoo. Score! Much of these are peripherally nice but man oh man let a man be able to write AND be funny. Lord, let him be funny and all bets are off. Now that I know my cryptonite, I’m gonna go and do pushups until I get that out of my system…I hope…

  • http://lizburr.com Liz

    I would add:

    A) be a preacher

    B) omit the truth

    • http://myspace.com/KatherineEWebb KitKatCuty84

      I’m actually not on the “preacher” train. I get that power and having a way with words is attractive, but part of me feels like getting with women in one’s own congregation for romantic purposes is like an abuse of power. Maybe that’s just me…

      The game that is and always WILL be my kryptonite is HAVE MUSICAL ABILITY. Seriously, strum a few bars on a second-hand guitar and you might get my number. Invite me to see you play at the Blue Note and we’re eloping to Vegas TONIGHT.

  • miss t-lee

    Own a shell? BWAHAHAH Silliness. My vote is also for–playing for hard to get. Hi-Five. That’s the coldest game ever ran Chief. Yet, we continue to fall for that isht. Present company included. I look forward to your ladies’ edition. EOE game proper.

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      “EOE game proper.”

      I’mma need this on a tshirt so I can wear it on casual Fridays. Or during HR events or something.

      • miss t-lee

        You silly…LOL

    • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

      Cosign. I said the same thing below. Playing hard to get always gets a win whether you’re male or female. No one likes a thirsty ninja.

      • miss t-lee

        Exactly. I do the same thing…hahha
        I’m always getting the “you don’t care about me” line cuz I’m not all up someone’s azz.

    • Sula

      I must be amongst the minority… Hard to get doesn’t even register… What does it mean? Like not pick your phone calls? or canceling dates? I don’t know but if I tried to contact once and you haven’t gotten back to me? Off you go. It’s really that simple. Yeah, I think “hard to get” is a definite turn off for me.

      • http://www.amandamichellejones.com VisionSpeaks

        i’m w/ sula on this one. my running days ended YEARS ago, but i LOVE long walks *together*. if you start out playing games with your time, what else do i need to be looking out for? don’t cling to my ass, but by all means keep in touch on the regular and let’s just be honest with our time.

  • B. Brown

    1) You ain’t lying. The few people I have released my credit to reacted as if it was all a dream. Biggie. I never understood the complication with having good credit.

    2) Yup…this doesn’t even mention that the ratios at most of “our” volunteering locales are to the hetero VSB’s liking. Not only is it more attractive to the current pool, it can also make the pool bigger.

    3) As long as one can do it without trying too hard. Don’t want to cross the line b/w laughing “with” and laughing “at”.

    4) I’d go even more general and say “be educated”. Of course, when you go up the ladder in formal education good writing skills are pretty much a requirement anyway.

    5) I never see any around here walking. They always ask me for rides. If I’m not too busy, I usually oblige.

    6) Verbal gold. I got my ex-fiance when I told her about my stock (saying “portfolio” sounds cliche).

    7) Many a song has been written about this.

    Additionally…..

    8) Knowing how to be a little bit metro
    This can include many things: a sense of fashion, watching channels like HGTV, having a pet that won’t threaten to eat her, and showing that you generally take care of your aesthetic game.

    9) Being nice to women that most men wouldn’t say are attractive
    Everyone’s seen “How to Be a Player”, right?

    10) Having a good memory
    Can’t tell you how many points paying attention and filing things away has earned.

    • http://myspace.com/KatherineEWebb KitKatCuty84

      Key phrase here is “A LITTLE BIT” metro.

      Smelling good and looking kempt and somewhat fashionable? Green light.

      Carrying a man purse to hold your lip gloss and color contacts? Red light.

      Pretty boys irk me. If dude isn’t ready by the time I am, we have a problem.

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    PJ’s 300th post! *throws glitter*

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      *joins in glitter-throwing, only this glitter is shaped like little 3s*

  • http://lizburr.com Liz

    BTW, this whole post was game.

    • miss t-lee

      I said the same thing Liz…ctfu!

    • M. Shavonne

      LMBO! I was thinking that…

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        It’s his quarterly advertisement for new groupies, I’m sure.

        • YouCntAffordMeB

          We will know how well it worked tomorrow in the latter hours!

          Also, are we really quoting Soulja boy tell em’ now P?

          I agree with #4 the most…a good writer gets a good…time ;)

    • legitimate_soul

      Yusssss!

    • http://www.twitter.com/quiethaylestorm keisha brown

      #POW/ZING!!!!

  • M. Shavonne

    Good post! Helping these poor saps with their game. Oooooo… I should help write the chic one! But I digress, here is my addition:

    08) Dream, Goals, and Ambition: a blue collar brotha is… well, a blue collar brotha. But a BCB with a dream, goals and ambition, is a diamond in the rough. Or maybe a rough diamond. Either way, it’s a good thing.

    Sidenote: I made this face >>> o_O when I saw *rimshot*. Like, ummmm… what does that have to do with anything? Then I realized it has several definitions. Who knew? *slow*

  • Leila

    Co-sign your whole list Panama! My favorite is #2. I love a man who gives back to the community. It shows a good heart and that’s hard to find.

    Another one I would add:
    Good manners/Respect – I love a guy with good manners and knows how to respect a woman, not so much about holding doors but listening to my opinions and respecting what I have to say. T

    • Mimi

      And someone who doesn’t say “know what I mean” and “son” with every sentence.

      • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

        Word ma lol #ihatethattoo

      • Leila

        Lol. So true…

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        LOL, right, if he says it so much that I’ve ceased to listen to what he’s actually saying and am counting the number of times he says the phrase…he needs to saddown in the corner.

      • Yeah…So

        That right there!… so annoying. I will straight get rude and be like “Dude, I speak English. Wtf!”… I don’t know why it bugs me so much, but I really can’t take but so many of them muhfukkas.

        • Mimi

          I rather date a guy who speaks like Boomhauer from “King Of The Hill”.

      • B. Brown

        I imagine that the southern equivalents for these would be words such as “bruh”, “dawg”, and “shawty”.