Game Of Thrones Recap: Season 6, Episode 9 “Battle Of The Bastards” » VSB

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Game Of Thrones Recap: Season 6, Episode 9 “Battle Of The Bastards”

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My God! This week’s episode was fan-fucking-tastic. Kudos to the showrunners and director, Miguel Sapochnik, for crafting an extraordinary hour of television. As you know, Game of Thrones has a pattern of going all out for each season’s penultimate episode. I can’t imagine what it cost them to stage that magnificent battle sequence at Winterfell. And all three of Daenerys’s kids came out to play alongside their mother…those niggas don’t come cheap. High fives all around, to the execs at HBO for allowing them to get that shit off because it gave me my entire life. This episode was full of calamity, carnage, flames and fuckery…and I loved it.

The stars of this week’s episode are as follows:

TYRION LANNISTER: a little ass man with a big ass head containing a big ass brain used to concoct shit like the brilliant defense strategy Team Meereen utilized to overtake the masters and their forces.

Tyrion and Daenerys are an unbeatable combination primarily because they’ve both mastered the ability to get out of sticky situations. Tyrion has the gift of gab. He can talk his way out of anything. His logic and reasoning skills are unmatched. Daenerys has the gift of flame resistant flesh. She can simply burn a hole in the bottom of her trick bag and slide out unscathed. So I wasn’t worried at all when Meereen found itself under siege at the end of last week’s episode. The masters were lighting that bitch up, bombarding the city with fire bombs launched from their enormous fleet of ships. In retaliation, Daenerys wants to destroy the masters and their cities. Tyrion tells her such thinking is rash and consistent with the type of ratched vagary that got her daddy stabbed by his brother the King Slayer. She should aspire to be better. Tyrion has a more reasonable approach.

Next we spy Team Meereen meeting with the Masters, listening patiently to their outrageous terms for surrender. Daenerys responds by informing the masters they were actually there to discuss Team Meereen’s terms for the masters’ surrender. Drogon swoops down, flapping his giant wings and baring his four rows of teeth. He lands and stands protectively in front of his mother, screeching at her antagonizers. Then Daenerys climbs onto his back and away they go. As they soar over the city, Viserion and Rhaegal blast their way out of a pyramid and join in the fun. The trio flies to the bay and circles the masters’ fleet. Then Daenerys shouts the word “Dracarys” and the dragons flame the ships on cue. My God. Can you imagine going up against a bitch with three flying beasts that can torch niggas on command? Only a fool would try her. But then again, fools are plentiful in the seven kingdoms. Speaking of which… the sons of the harpy are slaughtering a group of ordinary citizens just for the fuck of it. Daario and a massive horde of Dothraki warriors ride through and quickly put a stop to their lawlessness. Decapitation appears to be their preferred method of crime fighting…and its quite effective. Meanwhile back outside the palace, with their forces subdued, the masters find themselves at the mercy of the Mother of Dragons. In the words of the inimitable Tupac Shakur, “niggas love to scream peace after they start some shit.” How fitting that the masters now want to deal. Tyrion delivers their terms: they’re going to give up the rest of their fleet, cease with the slave shit and as punishment for trying it, one of them must die. Well, because they tried to play the blame game, two of the masters actually end up dead. The third is told to go back to his city and tell the people what went down in Meereen, emphasizing that he is alive solely because of the Queen’s mercy.


There is a popular fan theory that Tyrion and Daenerys are half siblings. I buy it…partially because I really want it to be true and because it makes sense. Tyrion has always wanted a dragon. He’s far too genial to be a full-blooded Lannister. He can communicate with the dragons. And Rhaegal and Viserion lack riders. Tyrion can ride one of them and scorch their Westerosian adversaries alongside Daenerys. Speaking of Westeros, it is my belief that Varys has traveled to Dorne to seek the support of the Sand Slugs in backing Daenerys’s claim for the Iron Throne. Perhaps they will provide the remaining ships needed to make the journey so they can finally get the fuck out of Meereen and sail to King’s Landing.

JON SNOW STARK TARGAREYN: former Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, a bastard with unconfirmed parentage, sourpuss, Sansa Stark’s brother or cousin, reluctant hero

Jon Snow Stark Targareyn has been in a pissy mood since being resurrected by the red witch. I mean prior to his death he was always very serious and brooding, but lately he’s had an attitude. Now I get very cranky when I am awakened abruptly from a deep sleep. So I can’t imagine a nigga shaking me out of necrosis, I might be really pissed…especially if I arose only to come back to the same shit that got killed me in the first place. Jon is tired of all the conflict. But ever since Ramsay called his ass out in the most fantastic written display of shit talking I’ve ever read, Jon has to do battle…again. And now he’s up against a renown psycho who will exploit every eradicative resource at his disposal destroy his opposition. My God.

Jon, Davos, Tormund, Lady Mormont and Sansa meet with Ramsay and company for the obligatory, now’s your last chance to surrender convo. Ramsay warmly greets his wife and proceeds to taunt his brother-in-law. They’re outnumbered, he’s got the advantage, yada yada yada. Jon Snow says they both can avoid the death of thousands if Ramsay will agree to fight him bastard on bastard. Ramsay doesn’t like the odds and smartly declines. Jon gets in a dig, noting to Ramsay that his men might not want to fight for him if they knew he wouldn’t fight for them. Good one Jon! Ramsay feels the sting of Jon’s words and in response he threatens poor Rickon. But for all the Starks know, Ramsay might not even have Rickon in his possession. As proof, Ramsay produces the head of Shaggydog, tossing it on the ground before them. Sansa has had enough of this nigga. She warns him that he will die tomorrow and gallops away on her horse. Ramsay has a few parting words of his own. He tells them he’ll feed them to his hounds. They haven’t eaten in seven days so they’ll appreciate the nourishment. Meanwhile, Lyanna Mormont mugs the shit out of his ass…fucking hilarious.

After Jon and his advisers adjourn their strategy meeting, Sansa pulls Jon to the side. She feels a way because she wasn’t consulted and she knows Ramsay better than anyone. Jon agrees and asks her what does she have to add. I thought for sure this bitch was going to use this opportunity to tell him that she’d written to my fav Littlefinger and requested the use of the army he offered her weeks ago. But that would be smart, and since this is Sansa we’re talking about, I am dumb for even thinking she’d be capable of doing some intelligent shit. What she does do is tell Jon how Ramsay plays games, lays traps and tricks niggas into fucking up. Then he seizes the opportunity to crush them. Sansa says all that tactical shit they were thinking up is ineffective against a nigga like Ramsay. Rickon is dead so it is useless to try and save him. Jon wants to know how she would suggest, based on her firsthand knowledge of Ramsay’s ruthlessness, they alter their strategy. Then this idiot says she doesn’t know shit about military shit and leaves in a huff. Jon is left to ponder her riddle and stress further about leading his troops to battle with the odds stacked so heavily against them. Just in case he catches another L, he swings by Melissandre’s tent and asks that she not resurrect him.

The sun rises and the opposing factions take the field. Jon and Tormund note that the success of their strategy depends on them waiting for Ramsay’s forces to come to them. If they instead charge Ramsay, they’ll be slaughtered. But before the fighting begins, Ramsay wants to play a game. He releases Rickon and tells him to run to the opposite side of the field to his brother/cousin Jon. Jon mounts his steed and gallops to the rescue. But his gallant efforts are a waste. Rickon, with his self-esteem shattered as a result of having no individual storyline for the whole of six seasons, decides to end it all. He runs in a straight line as Ramsey shoots arrows in his direction, and just as Jon is about to reach him, the final arrow strikes Rickon through the heart. Despite being a non fucking factor for his entire existence on the series, Rickon may rest knowing that his death was consequential. You see his death sparked a rage in Jon that finally elevated his combat skills to the level of fuck a nigga up by any means necessary. Honor and prudence were thrown out the window, and Jon the reckless barbarian emerged. He abandons his well laid battle plans and charges up the field by himself, preparing to take on all six-thousand of Ramsay’s forces. While I admire his valor, this shit was not smart. This is how I know that despite the lingering suspicions concerning Jon’s lineage, he is undoubtedly part Stark. Stupidity courses through their veins. Every Stark, despite his/her considerable virtues, is a perpetual fuckup.

The Bolton forces charge in Jon’s direction. Just when Jon is about to be trampled, the Stark forces surround him, and the two factions clash against one another. Jon the barbarian immediately begins slaying niggas. He is quick and efficient — slaughtering his opponents with precision and focus. Unlike his brother/cousin, he is also extremely adept at dodging projectiles. Ramsay’s crazy ass is firing a relentless onslaught of arrows heedlessly upon his own men as they rumble with the Stark soldiers. Davos and the forty remaining Stark soldiers rush into the fracas. Then the rest of the Bolton forces surround the horde of Stark soldiers in a pincer formation. Stark turncoat, Smalljon Umber, and a group of men clamor over the bodies and attack from behind. Tormund orders the wildlings to fall back. Jon tries to slice and dice his way through the clutter of corpses and fleeing wildlings but the chaos and disorder prove too much. Jon is trampled and nearly suffocates. But Jon has died before and despite being a miserable fuck, he isn’t too eager to die again….at least not like this. He wills himself to his feet and manages to climb up for air. Smalljon and Tormund get into a skirmish wherein Smalljon is head butting Tormund nearly to death! Just then, a horn sounds and the battlefield is covered by a vast shadow, Smalljon is momentarily distracted so Tormund is able to take him out by biting and stabbing his ass to death. My God. With the three-eyed Raven gone off to that majestic forest in the sky, a shadow of this magnitude could only be cast by the arrival of the shadiest nigga in the realm….Lord Petyr Baelish. Captain Cunning and the Knights of the Vale ride to the fucking rescue. They descend upon the Bolton forces and destroy what remains of them. Ramsay flees toward Winterfell with Jon, Tormund and Wun Wun in pursuit. Ramsay thinks he’s safe behind the walls but Wun Wun shows him otherwise, absorbing a torrent of arrows while crashing through the gates of the castle. Ramsay finishes him off by shooting an arrow into his eye. RIP Wun Wun. Now this nigga wants to fight Jon one on one. Jon advances toward Ramsay using a shield to block Ramsay’s arrows. Then Jon proceeds to beat Ramsay’s ass. He only stops because he spies Sansa watching. As Ramsay lies motionless on the ground, the banners carrying the Stark sigil are unfurled along the walls of the castle…these niggas have finally reclaimed their home.

But in order for Sansa to be the undisputed ruler of Winterfell, she has to actually kill her husband. So she puts him in the very kennel where his man-eating hounds devoured his stepmother and baby brother a few weeks ago. Despite his ominous circumstances, Ramsay continues to fuck with Sansa. She claps back telling his demented ass that no one will remember him, his words, his house…his entire existence will be forgotten. Then his hounds creep out of their cages. Ramsay seems confident that despite having not eaten in seven days, they will not attack him because they are loyal to him. But alas, the beasts are starving. One of them hoists himself onto Ramsay’s knees and licks his bloody face, ignoring Ramsay’s orders to heel. Then he lurches forward and snatches this nigga’s face off. Then they all begin to eat him alive as Sansa looks on with a satisfied smirk. See ya Ramsay.


Jon will go back to Castle Black to help them prepare for the arrival of the Night’s King. I don’t know if he’ll return there in his old capacity as the Lord Commander, I feel like that ship has sailed for him. But he can’t resist the opportunity to cape up and save niggas and right now the castle is extremely vulnerable. In exchange for his help, Littlefinger will propose marriage to Sansa so that he can secure the title he sorely covets, Warden of the North. Believe it or not, I am a proponent of this match. Why? Perhaps Littlefinger can help Sansa along in her evolution from a naïve and timid simpleton to a boss bitch by showing her how to actually play the game. This is essential if she hopes make it in a world where niggas don’t really win, they just survive.


DAENERYS TARGAREYN: CEO of Team Meereen, Ruler of the Realm, Flamer of Shit, mother to Drogon, Rhaegal and Viserion, a human resources executive’s dream

Kudos to Daenerys for promoting diversity in the workplace. With the addition of Yara and Theon to its roster, Team Meereen now boasts an army of eunuchs, a dwarf, three dragons, a jigalo, a black woman, a sorceress, a tribe of horselords, a dickless nobleman and a lesbian warrior. And if that weren’t enough, Princess Pyro is all about female empowerment. She wants to help women break through the glass ceiling. You see, when Yara and Theon appear out of nowhere and request that she support Yara’s claim to the Salt Throne in exchange for a fleet of 100 ships, Daenerys was quite accommodating. Let’s be honest, if she wanted to, the bitch could just take their ships….that’s what she does, take shit from niggas. But instead, Daenerys was fair and gracious. She sees no need to wait around for Euron’s giant cock and considerably larger fleet. She and Yara are going to help one another. Daenerys even seems open to giving the Iron Islands their independence under Yara’s rule…the caveat being that the Iron Born have to stop their practice of sailing around, raiding and raping niggas. Yara reluctantly agrees and now a formidable alliance is forged. Team Meereen for the win.

Carcetti Littlefinger

Carcetti Littlefinger primarily resides in beautiful Southern California where she makes a living as a developer and producer of content for television. A few of the series she’s developed and/or produced have aired on Lifetime, WEtv and Bravo. Known for her extraordinary wit and general indifference toward the things that matter to most, she has been writing since she mastered the use of a giant pencil in kindergarten.

  • A.P. Millz-CT

    This best episode EVER!!! Ramsey getting eaten by his own dogs was epic! I love how strong Sanza has gotten. Now, I can’t wait to see Bran will go back to that castle so we can see Jons mother is really Ned’s sister.

    • Kwazi Style

      But wouldnt Katherine had known that? .. then again maybe she did which is why the “b@st@rd” was allowed to stay and be raised with the family

      • A.P. Millz-CT

        Ned did tell Katherine b/c of Jon’s true identity. He is really a Targaryen. :)

        • QueLoQue

          He never told Catelyn, that’s why she always hated Jon, because he was a reminder of her husband’s supposed infidelity. The only two living people who left the Tower of Joy were Ned Stark and Howland Reed, and now Ned Stark is dead.

        • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

          What?!? I binged watch and probably missed this

          • KingsCounty

            It’s theory from ppl who’ve read the books. This season when young Ned hears a woman scream in the tower and Bran yells out “father” is supposed to be the moment we’ve all been waiting for to see what happened when Ned sister dies. She supposedly whispers something to him, a secret he’s never told anyone. And the theory is the secret is that Jon is a Targaryen and never tell anyone. So Ned lied and said he fathered Jon instead.
            As you see in the start of the HBO series King Robert wants to kill anything moving named Targaryen still.
            The book readers have been waiting some 20yrs I think for this moment to be revealed, and us show watcher have caught up somewhat in a few yrs now since no more new books have been released we are all seeing it unfold together.
            But when the finals books are released they’ll probably be more detailed and have slight changes to some story lines. The writer said the Hodor story will be slightly different and heavier in the book when it comes out.

            • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

              Wooooow, thanks for this! I’m going back right now to start season 6 over.

            • brokerhustle

              “King Robert wants to kill anything moving named Targaryen still”
              But…Robert loved Lyanna so much I’m not so sure he would’ve tried to kill her son

              • Robert would have killed Jon because the common story was that Rhaegar raped Lyanna, so the living proof of that violation would have drove him bonkers.

        • Manny

          How do we know this? I missed it?

          • A.P. Millz-CT

            Jon is not the son of Eddard Stark. Instead, he is the son of Prince Rhaegar Targaryen and Eddard’s sister Lyanna Stark. Rhaegar and Lyanna disappeared together to the Tower of Joy early in Robert’s Rebellion. There, it’s believed, Rhaegar leaves a pregnant Lyanna to defend his family’s dynasty… So, that would make Daenerys his I’m such a nerd for this show..

          • AlwaysBluffing

            The show (understandably) hasn’t been able to give as many Easter eggs on Jon’s parentage as the show, and it only started doing so in a more major way recently. Here are a few clues the show has given us, though.

            1. Early on, Ned tells Jon that “You may not have my name, but you have my blood.” Notably, this is not the same as telling the boy that he is his son. There’s a similar quote from the books where Ned, in pretty much the only time he clicked on Catelyn when she was pressing him on Jon, told her that all she needs to know is that Jon is Ned’s blood.

            2. Ned’s discomfort when Robert asks him who Jon’s mother is can read as either shame at having cheated on his wife (even if he had only known her a short while and was young and at war) or displeasure at having to carry on a lie that he would act dishonorably.

            3. Ned’s discomfort generally with Robert’s Targ hate.

            4. The time in Season 4 or 5 when Maester Aemon is talking to Sam and laments his inability to be around to help Dany, as there is nothing more lamentable than a Targaryen being out alone in the world–2 seconds later, Jon, walking by himself, enters the room.

            5. Last season when Sansa and Littlefinger are in the crypts of Winterfell and Sansa points to her aunt Lyanna’s crypt and refers to Prince Rhaegar as having kidnapped and raped her, and LF gives a look suggesting he knows that’s not the full story at all.

            6. The irony of Tormund encouraging Davos that unlike their former respective leaders, Mance and Stannis, Jon Snow is no king.

            The first King Aegon married his two sisters, suggesting that there is room for a Targ to take more than one wife. Though many assume that since Rhaegar was married to Elia of Dorne any heirs produced outside that union must be bastards, I (as many do) think there’s a good chance that Rhaegar adopted the precedent of his many times removed grandfather and took Lyanna as his second wife, making Jon trueborn.

      • Cleojonz

        No, Ned purposely led her to believe he was his child, that’s why she threw Jon so much shade all the time.

        • It was more than shade; it was straight up hate in the books. Made me dislike Catelyn.

      • In the books the one time Catelyn asks Ned about Jon he gets very cold with her. He tells her that Jon is his blood and that’s all she needs to know and please kindly mind her own business.

      • iLordByron


    • MsSula

      I think it will be when Rickon is buried in the crypts.

  • Kwazi Style

    I like the fact that Davos FINALLY realizes that the princess is dead and that the Red Witch undoubtedly has something to do with it since Stanis did nothing w/o the witches go-head. He found that wooden deer he made for her on the ground where she was burned at the stake…. and now he’s aiming to come for the witch… for some reason though she’s seeming more vulnerable this season then the badass lord of light concubine she’s been previously…

    • of course because we’ve seen her true nature

  • Andie

    The most diverse workplace Evaaaa.

    I feel like I couldn’t enjoy this episode properly. It isn’t as enjoyable watching week to week. This is the last season I’m gonna watch weekly. It is just soooo much better to me all together.

    • KingsCounty

      Good luck avoiding spoilers out chea

    • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

      I feel the same way. I binged watched the entire first 5 seasons. I’m feeling like I don’t want my GOT one episode at a time….LOL I want the entire season at once.

      • J&J Security

        same here! But I love reading the recaps cause it kind of makes me more excited to watch it when I get a chance to binge watch the season. I’m definitely excited to see this Lady Mormont chick. She sounds like a no f*cks given kind of chick that I LIVE for! I will definitely watch episode 9 first then watch the rest of the season including episode 9 in order lol.

        • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

          Shoot, these folks got me wanting to read the books.

    • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

      It is soo much better..but there’s no way I’m going to wait.

  • QueLoQue

    That battle was ugly as fuck, very claustrophobic with none of the sexy choreographed fight scenes we’ve seen in other battles. And I questioned if Jon would live for a moment, even though the story requires him to stay alive a bit longer. Also, Wun Wun should have had a weapon; could you imagine him out there swinging a tree trunk? He would have destroyed that shield wall.

    Littlefinger will want a piece of the pie for the role he played; conflict will ensue, as Jon takes control of The North and unites the houses. The Wildlings will get either Last Hearth or the Dreadfort. All the Northern forces will go to the Wall, joined by the Hound and the Brotherhood.

    Dany and Yara was a great moment, but without some huge moment of conscience Dany will ultimately become a villain. With her plan to invade Westeros she will bring more war to land of people who are sick of war. I also think the “three heads of the dragon” thing is BS.

    And Cersei is going to do something really stupid this Sunday.

    • As far as the battle being ugly, that’s what the directors wanted. They said for all the fights on the show they’ve never had a classic, two armies meet up and go at it type of deal, and they studied some old medieval battles for inspiration it’s actually quite interesting.

      • QueLoQue

        I know that dude, that was my point. It was supposed to be ugly and grim and they use Jon to do these types of scenes because nothing he’s done has ever been glorious, despite the fact that he’s obviously the hero in this story. The nobles add all the pomp to these gruesome acts, but Jon has been there in the trenches and it’s terrifying.

        • Yea they did a good job of portraying that with the bodies piling up and when he looks up at Ramsey with his face covered in dirt and blood.

          • I was feeling suffocated when Jon was fighting to get out of the growing pile of bodies *shudders*

            • That was really good production/acting right there. Made the viewer feel like they were right there

      • I love the fact that Kit Harrington had to actually stand there are be charged at by 40 horses going full speed. Brave dude!

    • KingsCounty

      I thought the battle was beautiful. It’s gonna win some cinematography awards or something I imagine cuz those scenes with the horses galloping together was dope.
      Reminded me of Kanye Wests “bound 2” video. Kanye got the answers.

    • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

      If she can’t have King’s Landing, no one will.

  • Kwazi Style

    Question!? What ever happened to Robert Baratheon’s b@st@rd? I recall Davos (i think) putting him on a boat and getting him out of harms way to save his life from Stanis b/c he would be the rightful heir to the throne…. weird to have that story line, drop it , and never bring it up again.

    • KMN

      I was about to say ain’t he the one still rowing somedamnwhere? lmao…

      • Cleojonz

        I just had a thought. He was Arya’s friend. Maybe now she will run into him and he will help her get back to her peeps?

        • KMN

          that’s what I’m thinking…Arya all thugged out now…she gone need someone to help her fuck ish up lmao

    • Cleojonz

      He’s still out there rowing, rowing. He will be back at some point I believe.

    • They will probably bring him back just to kill him too smh

    • MsSula

      Gendry is somewhere rowing a boat. Loll.

  • KingsCounty

    But seriously when they gonna stop testing Daenerys, like the whole hood ain’t seen her spray her street sweeper before last summer? They forgot? Aka “they though ish was sweet, F-ed around and got dealt wit”
    I’m interested to see how those dothraki are gonna be in this new city with all these new women. One thing the Dothraki craves is new p*ssy. All the dragons in the world ain’t gonna stop that. And it’s like a gang of convicts just got released and moved into town, hide your kids, hide your wife.

    Now onto the battle of the bastards that aired on Father’s Day of all days (interesting to see theon, yara, Tyrion and Daenerys all bash they fathers too)

    But Sansa urgghhhhhh she got me soooooo tight! Didn’t she urge Jon to fight for Winterfell to begin with? Didn’t she withhold vital information back when he was asking her advice when the war was being planned? When she lied about little finger she could’ve added her input. Then during the war council meeting she emotionally declares war by saying Ramsey will die tmrw and rides off? Then yells at Jon again for going to war for Rickon. She makes no sense. Ppl are having real arguments about this online. She’s stupid and Littlefinger is gonna G her outta house and home if she don’t smarten up.
    Rumors are she secretly wanted Jon to die too, she didn’t seem so pleased that he was alive to chase down Ramsey. Maybe he can threaten her claim if he is legitimized as a Stark. But he’s a Targareyen and Daenaerys coming for the whole hood anyway.

    (Sidebar- Ramsey’s come and see letter, the boy had bars)

    • Courtney Wheeler

      LMAO @ calling Daenery’s dragons “street sweepers”

      • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

        They dumped a couple clips on the Wise master’s fleets. Cleared them streets right up.

    • Cleojonz

      I’m still feeling some type of way that the Dothraki, they were the only folks of color in the beginning, have to be straight up mannerless savages. It’s like really? We don’t see what you’re doing here?

      • KingsCounty

        Yea I’m conflicted cuz they’re uncivilized brutes but they are the strongest and most feared people in the world on the show. Like all everybody knows is you don’t want no problems with them, no one tries to conquer them or deal with them just let them be.
        But like most uncivilized folks it’s all men no women of power allowed.
        Then some haaaawhite woman come in her and they get in formation?
        I try not to think about really cuz I love the show.

        • mr. steal your costco samples

          Khal Drogo had depth though.

          • Junegirl627

            khal drogo was my daddy, sugar daddy, baby daddy. and daddy good good!!!!


        • Kylroy

          A woman who is fireproof and commands three flying, firebreathing death machines…but yeah. Wish there’d been some historical precedent for the horde uniting behind a leader with obvious magical powers.

      • QueLoQue

        That’s been a problem throughout the whole fantasy genre, starting with Tolkien. GRRM hasn’t differed from the norm in that sense, and the show has made it worse by taking PoC characters from the books out of the show.

        • AlwaysBluffing

          Glad to see a fellow book reader here!

          Though we did lose Chataya and/or her daughter, several Meereeneese characters, and Jalabhar Xho (can’t remember if he was briefly shown in the show early on), they did make Salladhor Saan and Xaro Xhoan Daxos black even though they’re not written as such.

          Also, what do you think of how non-white characters are viewed by white book characters? The only book I’ve re-read so far is AFFC, so I haven’t investigated to confirm or dispel this sense yet, but it felt like earlier on, any mention of a character’s race (and for obvious reasons, I’m more keyed in and noticed it more with those of Summer Isles descent) was mostly neutral. The description of them might make you a bit uncomfortable (like, half of all black characters are the color of teak or pitch), but you didn’t get the sense that racially different necessarily equaled worse.

          But later descriptions seem to suggest there is a negative view of these characters. The instances that come to mind concern Euron and his mixed salt sons/bastards, whom he often referred to as “mongrels.” I can’t figure out to what extent that’s attributable to the fact that it’s just because he views progeny as mostly functional/chattel, regardless of race, and the term is used like “mutt” might be, the fact that he’s a horrible jerk, whether he simply does think less of them for being half-Summer Isle, Ibbenese, etc., or what. I think I’ve seen a few scattered references here and there in the latter books from the perspective of those other than just Euron, but can’t remember.

        • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

          I’d say that the book is a little better with this. It’s clear that there are various P0C characters in the Essos and the south who are doing there thiding.

      • Ms. Odessa

        There is a whole section of black folks in a place called the “Summer Isles” in the book. Basically their version of “Little Africa”. They apparently wear bright colors and feathers, and are free spirited and chex-ually liberated. Similar to Dorne, but less violent. They have like ZERO story lines though in the book. The only characters ever mentioned from the Isles are: two prostitutes in Little Finger’s brothel and a “noble” who is basically homeless and begs all the time to retake his throne. Boo.

    • MALynn

      But who has the power to legitimize Jon tho? The king of the seven kingdoms? Lannisters arent too fond the Starks like that

      • KingsCounty

        Someone somewhere said that King Robb had written a letter to legitimize Jon before the Red Wedding. I don’t remember tho.

        • delicateflower

          I know that happened in the book; I don’t watch the show so idk.

        • MALynn

          ohhhh that would make sense!! But Mama Stark prolly didnt know about it because she’d be hell-a salty!

    • Vanity in Peril

      That Bolten letter was pretty g, admittedly.

  • Cleojonz

    Excellent recap! I saw this on Black Nerd Problems. iDied. LOL Why did he run in a straight line though lol?

    • KMN

      bob and weave nicca bob and weave!!! lmao

      • PDL – Cape Girl Shero


    • Darren Nesbitt


    • BJenks

      lol I was yelling “SERPENTINE!” the whole time

      • jaydeee


    • Come on! You know Ramsey would have ordered *all* his archers to shoot Rickon down. The kid was dead as soon as the Umbers turned him over.

      • Cleojonz

        Yes, but he could have made it harder at least. If Ramsay was shooting his own men, his aim was not all that lol.

        • Ramsey still shot a lot of his own calvary so yeah…

  • KMN

    This is the THIRD recap I’ve read of this episode and I swear your version had me in TEARS (Luvvie’s was a CLOOOOOOOOOOSE second…like thisclose lmao) I’m over here just shaking with laughter…I still haven’t watched this damn episode (or an episode past the first…three jobs fight me lmao)…but these recaps keep me up to date…great writing girl!! :)

    • Cleojonz

      I love Luvvie’s Black Nerd Problem’s recap is really funny too. This one was funny, but really smart at the same time. I haven’t watched it yet either I’m still back on like episode 2 but I live for all these recaps.

      • KMN

        I’m going to have to go to black nerd problems and make that part of my daily reading (like I don’t get enough done at work as it is lmao)

        • Cleojonz

          IKR? lol.

  • SoCalGal

    The one thing missing from Sansa’s speech to Ramsay was “Come and see.”

    • KMN

      or “What’s good Miley?”

      • Abby


  • KingsCounty

    RICKon went out like RICKy in Boyz in the Hood…..George RR I see you.
    Shoulda zigzagged my G.
    Ricky did that so hopefully you ain’t have to go thru that.

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