You know, if there’s one thing I’ve learned about the folks that come to VSB.com it’s that there are a lot of sexually charged individuals with access to a computer and a keyboard.
I’m not 100 percent sure on this, but I’d be willing to bet that we could turn a conversation about donating money to a charity into a near-pornographic episode about nuns, vacuum cleaners, and soap. I really can’t back up that assertion, but I’d put money on it.
So with that in mind, and given that it’s Friday, we here at VSB.com figured we’d have a little bit of fun with all that repressed energy that’s permeating the netwaves by asking a question:
Where is the strangest place you’ve ever slapped bellies? Or perhaps the most dangerous (for whatever reason)?
The conversations that have sprung from some of our posts leads me to believe that some of y’all have stories for days and what the hell, sharing is caring.
And keep in mind, if you say under a spruce in Tacoma, somebody just might ask you how the pine needles in your ass felt. It’s all educational around these parts. Somebody could very well be looking for a new place to do the lickylickybouncybounce.
Be anonymous. Be yourself. Share.
And for the record, I named this post after a Drifter’s song because it fits for me: up on a roof. All that stuff I learned in geometry? Bullsh*t.
-VSB P
The strangest place I’ve had sex would have to be a tie between on the porch of the dude’s apartment and in a car garage on top of the hood of a car.
“in a car garage on top of the hood of a car.”
this seems impractical
How so?
I was laying on my back with my ass and legs hanging off the front end of the hood of his car while he stood and banged it out. Seems pretty damn practical to me!
I actually tried this same thing with my ex-boyfriend. It was quite fun, he talked about that for years. I wonder whose garage he’s in these days?
you know what, i originally thought “roof” when you said hood. hood is good. hood is practical
Was it in the middle of the day or in the evening on the porch? Mine would be a tie between an elevator and an airplane.
on an airplane
How did you pull that off?
FLEXIBILITY and POSITIONING…well at least that’s how I did it…lol…can’t speak for her…
Damn Goodie!…You’re one freak-nasty, aintcha! HAAA
I mean how does one go about sneaking two people into an airplane bathroom without anyone noticing?
not about sneaking…just discretion…I went in…he counted to ten and came in after me…I was pregnant at the time too…so it was a tight fight…but FUN!!
I aint madatcha. Thanks for the insight… I’m trying to plan my next skyway romp. I think I am little too tall though. I would have to put one leg out of the bathroom to crouch low enough to “get right”.
nah…you should be fine…most of my mates are 6’2 or better…just let her face the sick on her tippy toes…and you get in from behind…once you start your groove…everything will fit where it should…and you will get to see her face in the mirror…perk! happy flying!
this was back in the day when redeye where actually at 2am…AND NOBODY wanted to fly them. And NOBODY wanted to sit in the back. And the flight attendants all sat up front.
it was rather easy. I lot of freaky stuff goes down on private flights though, I can’t wait to the day I can charter my own damn plane.
The strangest place: In a car dearlership parking lot at 2 a.m.
The most dangerous: In the gym during halftime of the biggest basketball game of the year. (As far as HCBU basketball games go)
Still On the To Do List: Fifty yard line of a football field. (preferably at my alma mata)
an unlocked unisex bathroom at a banana republic. this was shortly after an unsuccessful attempt in an low-traffic elevator (had to stop the mission because of some, ummm, traffic).
Champ I just want you to know…that is so unsanitary. (lol)
see, you’d hafta see this bathroom. its easily the nicest and cleanest public bathroom i’ve ever seen. you could honestly take a nap in there
College dorm room, top bunk, while watching ace ventura pet detective with 5 or 6 other people (present, not participating).
- Balcony of a hotel in a very crowded part of Manhattan.
- Laundry room in an apartment building.
strangest – in the walk-in fridge of a Subway sammich shop (bet Jarrett aint never done that!)
most public – in glass elevator! (what can i say? i like being watched)
most dangerous – riding in the driver’s seat of my truck on the freewat (he worked the pedals and i work the the wheel)
thats about it…and for the record, its different when the post is blatantly sexual and when we get to insert our sexual innuendo into a seemingly innocuous and un-sex related topic…hence the “repressed”-ness… (wink)
“strangest – in the walk-in fridge of a Subway sammich shop (bet Jarrett aint never done that!)”
wasn’t it…um, cold? or was that merely a quickie like none-other. i’ve been in the walk-in at a restaurant i work at and i got cold in like 30 seconds.
And i know its different when the post is blatant…but y’all ain’t shy. suck it up.
lol.
it was cold…but we didn’t care…it was FUNCH (fucking+lunch) so it was a quickie but it was the best foot long I have ever had from Subway…word…life…lol
“it was cold…but we didn’t care…it was FUNCH (fucking+lunch) so it was a quickie but it was the best foot long I have ever had from Subway…word…life…lol”
i think its time for you to sit in the time-out corner for a while
funny shit…I get put in time out in real life all the time! and now…online…damn…even my e-friends put me in the corner…(smh)
Thank you Champ…I am GOODENess’ BFF and the corner is her favorite place, so dont let her stay in the corner too long, she will come out worse.
ah you know me SO WELL…lol
Goodness, that’s just another reason why I don’t like eating at Subway…lol
LOL! I’ll have to stop eating in resturants… & Ms. Freckles: this is definitely not sanitary. Haha.
glass elevator.. hm. hot.
Most risque: Elementary school playground on a swing during…ahem…recess
Most arousing: Unisex bathroom in a club college graduation night
Not in front of the chil’ren! LOL! See, that’s why the kids are all messed up now!
We were young and it was interesting…..LOL! How do you tell a 6 year old that they cant get on this swing right now, I am using it.
LMAO! I think the correct statement was “we’re using it”
It’s official! I’m sending my kids to private school…where the riff-raff can’t get in and do the nasty during recess!LOL
You really made my day with this story…thanks!
Yeah, I’m pretty much thinking private school now too. There is SO much wrong with have kerfluffen on a swing during recess. Though, I don’t really remember having recess in high school…we had lunch. And there weren’t any swings – um…lawd, how young were you? 10?
LOL!!! I didn’t even think of it along those lines.
I interpreted the story as her sneaking into some random school in search of a good swing to fulfill her erotic desires. Either way…it’s some sick sh*t! j/k
I was 17. We were out of school and so we thought everyone was out of school. We came up on the back side of the elementary school and it looked vacant but we honestly werent paying any attention to that. I have/had sex where I wanted to. I can fill a book with places. But I have to keep some mystery.
how you know it wasn’t at a private school? those private school freaks are the worst ones…them and church kids…preachers kids and whatnot…lol
No comment.
You are welcome. But the funniest part is we were straddling each other facing each other and the kids kept saying “how did you do that…that looks fun…I wanna try…show me…” but I couldnt move. Then recess was over….
No, but seriously…how old were you? matter-o-fact…please paint the whole picture for me…beginning to end. Cause I can’t seem to wrap my mind around it.
I was at his house. We walked to the elementary school up the street. He sat down on the swing. I sat on top of him (had on a tennis skirt). First I was facing forward then he got the brilliant idea of actually swinging on the swing while do this. So i turned around as to facilitate this and then RING….WTF…we slowed to a slow rocking swing. Thankfully there were more than one set of swings on the playground. So only the EXTRA nosey kids came to bother us.
“First I was facing forward then he got the brilliant idea of actually swinging on the swing while do this. So i turned around as to facilitate this and then RING….WTF…we slowed to a slow rocking swing”
i think i want to try this now.
That was unsanitary also. lol
Hmm, the night started with driving back to school to checkup on one of her experiments. I can’t remember what I’d done before we left her place, but I’d gotten her pretty turned on. Of course, being a guy, I’m always on, except for the few minutes after cumplosion, then I’m asleep pretending to spoon and cuddle until my self-preservation instincts kick in and wake me the fuck up before she comes down from her high and notices.
So, I was driving as usual, because she liked being chauffered and I liked driving, so it was an arrangement that worked to our benefit, and we’re along this main road that leads from her apt to school. Now during the day, driving along this thoroughfare (if you’d even call it that), was an ok thing. Due to it’s usage, you typically get all the lights. However, at night, things change and there are two lights along the way that if you miss them or don’t inch your car properly, you could spend several minutes waiting.
So, we got past the first one easily enough and it being around 11pm during break week, there was NOBODY around. Dark except for some street lights and the stop lights. So, I’d reached over and started teasing her with what could have been going on if we’d not left her apt.
Surprisingly, she reaches over and starts playing with *me*. And we reach the second light. It is red. We wait. One minute, two. WTF? Should I run the light? Maybe, but everytime we’ve heard of someone running the light, a cop has always magically appeared to ticked them. I inch forward a bit, back a bit. Nada. Meanwhile, this girl has the most amazingly deliciously wicked grin on her face and has unzipped my pants.
So, I start getting brain in the front seat of a honda when the damn light changes to green. No matter, I have her continue as I start to drive off, however, (as I will later learn when I start drinking a few years later), even after 15 drinks, I still drive better than 15 seconds into a BJ.
I pull over to the side of the road a bit and now she gets a little self-conscious and stops. So we head on the rest of the way to school. After checking on her stuff, I pull her into the Men’s restroom, bend her over the sink, and finish what she started.
Despite everything. . . that girl and I were very sexually compatible. I should write a book. This stuff wouldn’t fit on a t-shirt.
BJ and driving should be outlawed!!!! Me and my fella at the time almost ran off the interstate because he closed his eyes during my performance. After that some pretty interesting happenings occured on the side of the interstate. I guess I can add that…I-20 in broad daylight, no tint on windows.
I guess I can add 400 N during rush hour . And Old National Hwy on a late night. We were headed to my house from his. I told him I was in the mood for an all out session and didnt fell like stifling myself and since he roommate was home we needed to head to my house. Well, I must have had some spanish fly or something in my rum & coke, because I couldnt wait until we got to the house, so I climbed on halfway to my house. Well of course we get caught at a light and a tractor trailor pulls up next to us. I look up, the driver looks down at me and blows his horn as the light begins to change. I was embarassed and turned on all at the same time.
Okay…400 N during rush hour?? Though it almost makes sense since that’s a damn parking lot if I’ve ever seen one.
Y’all folks really know how to stretch ATL out for some goodygood.
I spent more time thinking about it and realized that we must have decided to go find someplace at school to f*ck that night. . .which would explain the unusual amount of horniness in the car cuz one of us had to have brought a condom and the only way that would have happened is if there were some planning involved
LOVE the story…you kind of did right a mini-book…but it was hot…head in motion and bathroom sex RAWK!!
whenever I see a driver swirving all over the road I yell “you better be getting some BOMB ASS HEAD driving like that!”
head in motion is HOT…it’s even hotter when you’re at a red light and the people on either side can see what your doing and are trying not to look! oooooh….or in the drive-thru…my MILKSHAKE brings all the boys to the yard…lmao!
see, i’ve always been against moving car sex, for the simple fact that if the person is doing the job right, the “recipient” shouldn’t be physically able to drive.
I concur.
exactly…adding an air of challenge…I am doing my best to make you pull over…and you are doing your best NOT to let me make you pull over…(wink) I always win though…
see, i prefer multi-tasking sex with other shit. like, sex while texting or sex while making kool-aid. sex while driving is just too dangerous for me. one of my goals in life is to never get my penis bitten off by a chick who’s giving me head and bites down when i crash the car.
in fact, this might be my only goal in life
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “one of my goals in life is to never get my penis bitten off by a chick who’s giving me head and bites down when i crash the car. ”
By far the funniest sh*t today!!!!!
lol, I wrote this before I went to shower this morning and as I was showering, I’m thinking, man, I left out so many details in this.
I should finish it up and submit to playboy. . . or playgirl, or any mag that still buys short stories lol
Hmm…let’s see. Strangest for me would have been in a laundry room in an apartment complex (I was 18, and my moms was NOT letting me get my freak on the house).
Most public…the balcony of one of the buildings at my alma mater (we weren’t allowed to have opposite sex visitors in our dorm rooms at any time); the side of the library (same school), and a public park around the corner from our school.
Strangest…a little used, neglected bio lab at our school. The place was dirty, icky…and yet I had some of my most “fun” experiences there (can y’all tell I really didn’t care at the time?)
“Strangest…a little used, neglected bio lab at our school. The place was dirty, icky…and yet I had some of my most “fun” experiences there (can y’all tell I really didn’t care at the time?)”
or, as i like to call it, “mitochondrion booty”
I-95 Southbound shoulder lane bent over the hood in the rain….in nothing but my heels.
I am going to write this one in my mental journal, so when I have sex again in a year or so, I will make that my ‘Cumming Out Party’ locale.
i have a 29 year old friend who is a virgin. I think when she finally gets some we will throw her a “Cumming Out Party!” I love it!
I aint no virgin…but when this engine does start again, it will probably be a virginal experience. Hats off to your friend…I give her mad kudos.
ABC…What’s wrong with your engine?
I think I need to try the rain on the side of the highway in stilettos…that’s kind of hot minus a possible ticket for indecent exposure.
There’s actually nothing wrong with my engine. I just had needed to park the car for a minute to regroup and evaluate some things. Its been parked about 6 months, and will remain in the garage for however long it takes. But it’s like riding a bike….whenever I do start again, I may be a little rusty at it but after a few pedals (strokes) it will all cum back to me.
WOW!!!!! Ladies and Gentleman, we have a WINNER!
I don’t think this one can be topped.
We got a winner!
I have yet to have RAIN SEX, but it’s on my to-do list…and now, thanks to you…I must have NAKED RAIN SEX…good looking out!
I am in the process of rehabing my house and cant wait to finish the back yard so I can put up my hammock… Can’t wait to rock in the hammock in the rain….. So looking forward to it and the right partner to rock the hammock with.
“I-95 Southbound shoulder lane bent over the hood in the rain….in nothing but my heels.”
damn. this made me blush
at work—conference room table (not current J)
in a ditch off a county roadof Hwy 123–(madd mosquito bites in stranges places)
in my car at a red light—almost
x-boyfriend’s balcony at his apt.
A similar impromptu sidebar came up a couple of weeks ago and I listed my most interesting sexploits which were:
1. NYC Subway (D Train)
2. Pizza shop bathroom
3. The courtyard of the World Trade Center (mid-afternoon)
But the last time I forgot to mention my all time favorite:
*BJ on a crowded dance floor. Brings new meaning to “I wanna make love in this club”
NOTE: This is when having good dance moves pays off.
*BJ on a crowded dance floor. Brings new meaning to “I wanna make love in this club”
i think this is a rite of passage for all young men, the bj on the dance floor.
hmmmm…I am trying to wrap my mind around the positioning needed to pull this off…HOW did she manage that?
The dance floor was crunk and she got low…literally. You know how you women-folk drop it to the floor…that’s what she did but just didn’t come back up for a little while. It caused a bit of a scene but it was mad dark so I don’t think anybody knew exactly what was going on but you never really know.
my boy tried that with this handsome skank at a dark-ass sigma house party in college. thing is, the party was ending, and someone turned the lights on. talk about your “flashing lights”, lol. i think the girl eventually dropped out of college from embarassment
Handsome skank?!!?!?! LOL!!!
yeah, the handsome skank was, for lack of a better term, aesthetically unfortunate
WTF? a handsome skank? is that a manly looking chick? I wouldn’t even want that on my johnson (if I had one, ya konw)
I have only seen this kind of “mouth dancing” in clubs that are pretty much designated for such freak-ish-ness…(shrugging) who knew a house party and a mainstream club could be so…”talented”
*see comment above*
What I find most funny about the term handsome skank (aside from how mater of factly you used it)… is that she is somebody’s daughter. For some reason I imagined a conversation between her father and a neighbor:
Neighbor to Father: “Hi Ted, is this your daughter?…well, she sure is one handsome skank now isn’t she?”
Father: *glowing with pride* “She sure is, Jim….she sure is.”
For some reason…I got a kick outta that.
Im embarrassed for her still…WOW!
We were at a club, it wasnt croweded on the dance floor. Two females were dancing together, one went down and took the long route on the way back up. My friends and I stood there SHOCKED at the happenings and tried to figure out, if we were really seeing this, while the rest of the club acted as if it was normal.
I know too much about you at this point. Way too much.
LMAO! Don’t judge me, damn it! I was a victim…I didn’t ask for that, ya know. She just took me.
Just like you to blame the victim…have you no shame?!
No judgment here. But um, I have difficulty believing you were forced. As for #3, let me find out you had wifey come meet you right quick on a lunch break! LOL!!! Damn shame.
yeah the “victim” I am a lady…and I think it rude to turn down freely offered head on a dancefloor…my mama raised me not to be rude…so you were just doing the gentleman-ly thing by accepting a “gift”…yeah that’s right…a “gift”…lol…RIIIIIGHT!
See – y’all tell me I give too much information – and here y’all go ASKING for it. Well – you get what you asked for!
While I was pregnant with my son – the first 5 months I was shall I say – ravenous dog horny. On the 26 mile trip to the impregnator’s mother’s home on one particular afternoon it took us about 3 hours to make the 30 minute trip because of said ravenous dog horny. All in all I can say with a pretty high level of certainty that all 7-11′s and restaurants bathrooms were hit up at least once on the stretch of Warwick Blvd from Denbigh Blvd all the way down to 50th St. Of course this was back in 1994 so it is quite possible most of those bathrooms aren’t in existence anymore. But yeah … me and the pops diddled in lots of bathrooms in that 5 months. Oh cookout at your boss’ house? Yeah we diddled in both bathrooms that day. We also did the longstroke on the James River Bridge Pier – and I do believe we might of had an audience that evening. July 4th that year we were on top of the sheriff’s office parking garage to watch the fireworks (my brother in law is a deputy) and we went off to the far corner and I learned just how strong Mr Man was. Only other odd place I can think of would be Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel during a long ass traffic jam. It was on the bridge on the Norfolk side of the tunnel. I really am sure folks saw us being it was broad daylight and all.
The strangest is in my mother’s bed … why not in my own you say? My best friend was occupying it. The first and last party I ever had at my parent’s house.
“The strangest is in my mother’s bed … why not in my own you say? My best friend was occupying it. The first and last party I ever had at my parent’s house.”
Ha Ha Ha..yeah i’ve done the parent’s bed thing a time or two and strange is an understatement.
I’m usually carefree about when and where I’m having sex with my mate as long as I’m getting it and I’m going to hell for some of these but:
1. Church Elevator
2. this past weekend, an exit off I-95 on the side of the gas station against the wall…what…we didn’t have morning sex
3. hospital parking garage during the day while my mother was inside having surgery…i was stressed daaaang.
4. hotel balcony downtown miami bent over the railing across from residential condos…yeah folks were watching…lol
…and that’s all i care to share online…anything else will ruin my chances to run for public office.
” as I’m getting it and I’m going to hell for some of these but:
1. Church Elevator”
You’re going on the express bus.
It wasn’t during church, we were doing a summer musical and rehearsing there…besides it wasn’t my church…lol j/k…and I have since repented. *bowing my head in shame*
I cover my eyes…lower by head…and raise my hand…church lock-in in at the church…we didnt have sex but we should’ve just went on ahead. That was before I lost my virginity…much finger play and a whole lot of touching and licking.
woooow!! even as a virgin i couldn’t desecrate a church but as a fornicating heathen nothing stood in the way …lol
I basically lived in a church from birth until college. My boyfriend went to my church. We were around each other at some church function 99% of our relationship. So it was what it was. I am hoping that my new virginal stance will get me some heavenly cool points.
. LOL!
Yeah I had a relationship like that but he was the pastor’s son and the church was adjacent to his house…which I guess could also be considered sacred ground…or not…either way there was plenty of fornicating going on over there.
I feel you on the virginal stance…don’t think I could EVER do that, but you definitely get cool points from me…not quite the Angel Gabrielle at the pearly gates but cool points no less.
I guess this is why I couldn’t go to the lock-ins. My Dad wasn’t playing that.
call me a deviant but I so bad wanna be bent over a pew and have the business given to me.
maybe I really am a demon
IDK—I’ve thought about “the bidness” in church(particularly during a boring sermon), but I’ve never wanted to have “the bidness” given to me in church.
Different strokes…I guess.
I want it to be a Catholic church and all. Preferably an old ass Catholic church.
LOL…you don’t have a specific church in mind do you..yeah shamefully that sounds kind of hot.
St Edwards Catholic Church in Little Rock, Arkansas. (I went to school there). Won’t probably happen because I plan on my return trips to Arkansas to be like none.
Other than that – nah no specific church in mind.
Yes Cheryl…you are truly a demon. lol…and you are gonna BURN for that one! lmao.
I mean as long as I don’t actually DO IT, I’m in the clear right? Cuz if not, I might as well go head on and do the damn thing.
Truuuuuue!!
well I am already goig to hell for SO many other reasons…but when I used to go to a mega church…I saw a MIC I used to “rock” and I could NOT focus on the message because I kept thinking about giving him some ill deep throat! I know I have a problem…I own it…but I was sitting in church THUMPING all the way through the altar call!
LOL…been there…dated the church drummer and man ole man…there were these moments when… *digresssing*
“maybe I really am a demon”
this made me choke on my steak-um and sugar cookies
damn….I didn’t even know they still made steak-um!
steak-umms go hard!!
You know what….
Teacia, “The church elevator”…whew…now that’s playing with fire. That’s okay, we’ll have someone throw some holy water on you…lol
lol…that was ages ago before i became a freaking lady.
“that was ages ago before i became a freaking lady. ”
LOL Teacia.
LOL! That elevator should have gone down… straight through the church basement and stopped in hell.
“LOL! That elevator should have gone down… straight through the church basement and stopped in hell.”
CTFU
We hit that emergency stop button…5th floor anyone…lol!
I’mma need people to stop having sex in church…I mean really how stupid will you look when you’re in line at the pearly gates and Jesus airs you out for doing the nasty in his temple??? HOW RUDE!
At night, in my parent’s backyard, on the grass while it was sprinkling.
“At night, in my parent’s backyard, on the grass while it was sprinkling.”
this is cute and shit
Yeah it’s cute…until a raccoon runs up on that @ss on some ferocious sh*t!
lmao D*Stroy, don’t be a hater and ruin his moment.
LOL I am just trying to make sure that the Champ doesn’t find himself with some honey dip rolling around in somebody’s back yard only to be swarmed by a gang of rabid raccoons.
“LOL I am just trying to make sure that the Champ doesn’t find himself with some honey dip rolling around in somebody’s back yard only to be swarmed by a gang of rabid raccoons.”
see…this is what friends are for. good-looking d
LMAO~thanks I needed this laugh after watching my Lakers loose game 2
*On the staircase at Centennial Olympic Park in downtown Atlanta.
*The restroom at the Buckhead Backlot movie theatre. Surprisingly it was very clean in there as opposed to most movie theatre restrooms.
*The lower level of the AUC library (Clark’s Mass Comm. Department).
*Behind the grocery store that’s right by Magic Johnson’s theatre.
That about sums it up…I’m not THAT freaky.
Ya know, about 95 percent of folks that I know that went to school in Atlanta have a Centennial Park story. Something about the lights and the sprinklers and fountains and shit is apparently just rife for some laplove.
Oh…and the AUC Library? AKA Club Woody is more like a club anyway. You could essentially do anything you wanted in that bitch and nobody’d even see you. Especially those bathrooms on the top level if you take a right at the top of the stairs and go straight to the back.
Hell, I used to go there to sleep between classes sometimes and nobody would rob me or even speak to me.
Ah yes, that just reminded me of my Club Woody Experience. Boy, now that I think about it me & old dude got it in. All of my post are about the same dude. But hell, he was my second and my only until Junior year.
On the roof of a construction site of a not-yet-finished Walgreens.
The library bathrooms -all 16 of them.
The playground in the middle of the afternoon (behind the monkey bars, no less!)
Conference table, storage closet, mailroom, and breakroom of my last gig (all on the same day)!
In line at Six Flags (what else was I supposed to do for that long @ss wait?!)
I would really like to know how you pulled that one off.
Shit, I want to know how you pulled that off too.
@ Kindred “In line at Six Flags (what else was I supposed to do for that long @ss wait?!)”
MY HERO! you went on your own ride while waiting in line for one! LUVITMANE!
“In line at Six Flags (what else was I supposed to do for that long @ss wait?!)”
i dont believe you, you need more people
KindredSmile…curious…how did you pull off the one in line at SixFlags??? Just asking.
I line at Six F-ing Flags?!?!?!?!? You have to explain that!
Yeah, I’m with D*Pain – I’m gonna need a story on that one. You can’t go lobbing out shit like that!!!!!
LOL.
I 3rd this.
DO TELL!!!!
LMAO we were waiting in line for the “Batman” ride, most of which is in the “dark tunnels of Gotham City”. Instead of going up the next set of stairs, we hopped over the railing, he held me up against the wall, and commenced the fastandfurious. After we were done, we got back in line like nothing happened. The only thing people cared about was whether we were “cutting” or not. Good times, good times.
Hilariousness! “fastandthefurious”….lmao!
KindredSmile…nevermind…I didn’t see your response before leaving my last comment. You answered my question.
this needs to be adapted into some type of porn flick…
most cliche- movie theaters.
most likely for livestock to trample you- on a farm on a country drive that a boyfriend and I invaded one day that had a gorgeous view, while the local farmers drove by on their tractor and waved
most racist- down by the river in my car. when caught with my african american boyfriend, the police asked me if I was there being held against my own will. Let’s just say we never scrumped there again.
dirtiest/skeeviest at the local peep show. In one of those rooms where you pay like a dollar to watch a porno. The last time I will ever go there. I think you probably could catch syphylis just walking by one of those rooms.
most like to go to hell FANTASY- Haven’t done it yet. God and Mary mother please for give me….In a church confessional room. With a really hot priest. Preferably one who’s never been with a little boy.
@Bella…yeah those rooms are nasty…our local “novelty” store has some viewing rooms in back…and I met a “friend” of mine there in nothing but a 3/4 length peacoat, big sun glasses, and my favorite chrome heels! CLASSIC ISH!
“3/4 length peacoat, big sun glasses, and my favorite chrome heels!”
LMAO! I know that smutshop’s proprietors saw you coming a mile away in that get-up! LOL! They must’ve been like:
“uh-oh. 3/4 length coat. Big Glasses. We’ve got a live one!”
yeah and I had my hair picked out to full FRO status…it was role play…so I wasn’t concerned with the “I-don’t-get-sex-so-I-live-through-the-freaks-that-shop-here” boys behind the counter…he had already gone in and given them my description…they told me right where to go…we played naughty Black Panther for a few hours and then I got my fly natural ass back in my truck and left!
“we played naughty Black Panther”
I hope Bobby Seale doesn’t read VSB…I don’t think that was quite what he envisioned for the Panthers. LOL
this was a RBG dude…real militant…so he liked that blaxploitation shit (but didn’t want to admit it)…revolutionary, RBG wearing, anit-post-colonization, militant brothers are FREAKS! and I love it!
“most racist- down by the river in my car. when caught with my african american boyfriend, the police asked me if I was there being held against my own will. Let’s just say we never scrumped there again.”
i guess my most racist experience would be the white chick in college who, while in her bedroom, asked me to dance naked with her to “sexual healing”.
“i guess my most racist experience would be the white chick in college who, while in her bedroom, asked me to dance naked with her to “sexual healing”.”
Exactly how is this racist? ’cause she asked you to “dance”?
You were surprised by this request?
“Exactly how is this racist? ’cause she asked you to “dance”?”
lol, i’m being facetious. it wasn’t racist as much as a cliche.
tsk tsk tsk. a classy girl would have at least asked for some “let’s stay together”. Now Al Green- that’s class. Distasteful was when I hooked up with someone who insisted on repeating the lyrics to white girls by that corny ass dude off of BET’s uncut…might casey or whatever that nonsense was. That was trashy. And extreme racially spurred profilific fuckery…(sorry about the word abuse.
)
Again, you were surprised by this request?
“surprised”, no. i was young (18. she was 21-22) and i figured that dancing was par for the course.
it wasn’t until a couple years later that a sexual cliche red flag went up. i mean, at least she could have asked me to dance to “trouble man” or something
At least it wasnt ja rule, its not her fault that most of americas greatest baby making songs are by black people
Hmmmmmmm, 112′s “We Can Do it Anywhere” song used to be my theme song in life so I have plenty of places but I’ll only name the three that stand out in my mind:
Behind the bar when the club was jumping (dated the bartender)
In the back of an empty 18 wheeler (we couldn’t wait to get home so we pulled over in an empty truck lot)
On top of a hotel roof (it was under construction)
“In the back of an empty 18 wheeler (we couldn’t wait to get home so we pulled over in an empty truck lot)”
Those things are actually quite spacious…I hate to admit but I have gotten my 18 wheeler on…and could you believe that that negro actually thought I peed on him, as if he’s never seen a full orgasm before…some men!
Very spacious but also HOT. I liked to fell out from the orgasm and the heat! It was like 90-11 degrees that day. But whew, that was a good time
Man, but I am jealous of ole boy who did it at six flags. I am going to go get a season pass today
ROTFLMAO @ Teacia!!!!!
“could you believe that that negro actually thought I peed on him, as if he’s never seen a full orgasm before…some men!”
OMG…I can’t breathe right now! lmao!
wait….so teacia’s a squirter?
*bookmarking teacia’s myspace page*
@ TEESH I am always surprised that they are surprised too…I mean what were the women before me doing? ole crunchy coochie looking heffas! you better tell’em TEESH…
TO THE WINDOOOOOOOW…TO THE WALLLL!
Ah the Naked Overcoat *sigh* such a classic move. I recall pulling this move once. The best was once with my college dude. After a brief, descreet discussion on campus we made arrangements for me to come over his apt that evening. When I called to check to ensure that we were still on his response was, ‘yeah, the fellas are over here but year come on through. And can you grab a case of Corona’s for me please?’ So I did what any girl who had her mind set on a night full of fucking would do. I threw on his favorite piece of my lingere(boyshorts & matching cami); greased up the freshly shaved legs, threw on the highest heels in my closet and my Pea Coat that stopped mid thigh. When I got to the house, I set the case of Corona on the counter, set a bottle of Hennessy (his fav drink) in his lap, spoke to the fellas and headed to his room. He came in and was like ‘you went to the store like that?’ I said, ‘Well you wanted to get drunk and I wanted to have sex. I figured this way we both get what we want. Needless to say the fellas left shortly there after and we had one hell of a night.
I did the coat thing before, then I upgraded to a satin lingerie coat…yeah that just screams screw me sideways pleeeeeeaaaaase!!
1.) (As told previously) Outside in back of a club in the rain in full uniform.
2.) On top of a pool table on the second floor of a very busy Cafe in Japan. Not only was her father a preacher, he was my Seargent!
3.) Metro Station parking lot, on top of someone else’s S600.
4.) Ex-Girlfriend’s parent’s bathroom. Her father actually came looking for us and never checked in the bathroom.
5.)On top of the washing machine at my Grandmother’s house, with a house full of family and friends.
6.) Broad daylight in my car at a rest stop in Japan. It’s so funny to me how the Japanese people just act like they don’t see anything.
7.) Grocery Store bathroom with a condom stolen from a box in that same store.
8.) This one is my ticket to hell for real….I had her bent over a stack of boxes….full of bibles.
9.) In my own hospital bed after I had surgery. She was my nurse….dreams (and pornos) do come true!
10.) At the Tuskeegee vs. Morehouse game in the ticket booth
11.) At a Catfish farm in the middle of the day on a 4 wheeler. This farm, by the way, is my favorite place to do it!
That’s enough for now, I can’t put all my business out like that.
“This one is my ticket to hell for real….I had her bent over a stack of boxes….full of bibles.”
Join us…we have a speeding bullet headed to hell and you too have gained free admittance…but no worries…apparently most of ur VSB got a free ticket as well.
Great, at least we will have great conversation down there!!!
Big Buck…*taking hat off* You’re my idol, kid! Ya know…after hearing about your first time…something told me that you were going to bless us with some hot sh*t!
You’re really an international gigolo! LOL!
LOL! Thanks man, I do it for the people!
“I do it for the people” another T shirt…too hilarious
“In my own hospital bed after I had surgery. She was my nurse….dreams (and pornos) do come true”
Damn!!!
judging by his stories, i think big buck’s real name might be lexington steele
or Jay Steed…or perhaps Mr. Marcus?
I never really thought about how crazy my experiences have been until today. i only gave y’all a sample. In reality I have done some wild sh*t in my day. if I told it all it might make this site a little sticky…..with some crust around the edges! LOL!
“if I told it all it might make this site a little sticky…..with some crust around the edges! ”
hold on now…the last time I read this was in that new book..about downlow rappers/actors…you aint got none of them stories do you?
WHOA! Let’s not get carried away there Chica! I am on a strict diet of split mo-blippy ONLY! Thank you! If you have never gotten sticky and a little crusty in a STRAIGHT situation, then you ain’t doing it for the people. Like I do! LOL!
OMG… I think I love you … this is pure comedy and yet arousing at the same time
9.) In my own hospital bed after I had surgery. She was my nurse….dreams (and pornos) do come true!
WTF did you have worked on that you could still slide her the man meat!???
I had my tonsils removed. All the necessary parts were in full function!
I just punched myself in the throat in hopes that it will have an adverse effect on my tonsils… I want to test my luck, too!
LOL! You are a fool man!
@BigBuck (that name does it to me man!) you sir…are officially one of my favorite anonymous celebrities!!
@ D*Stroy…down boy! lol…you will be at the hospital soon enough, in the maternity ward…
“you will be at the hospital soon enough, in the maternity ward…”
LMAO!!! You really know how to f-up a fantasy!!!
@ D*(daddy)Stroy…I’m sorry…that was SO mean…and I only did it because somebody messed up my “groove”…but you are correct, sir…I know how to eff up a fantasy…and I know how to help you live them out too (trying to remember where I put my naughty nurse outifit)
don’t be mad…I’ll be good…
Aight now! You better watch out! Don’t make me have to come down to TX and make some more entries for this post!
Damn, I’m beginning to think I need to get out more.
-In the movie theater.
-Standing in my driveway at 11 pm.
-In a school parking lot on the hood of a car at night.
-I’m also going to hell for church escapades. On the desk in the church office when I was supposed to be printing bulletins for that mornings worship service.
Almost forgot. On the balcony in a patio chair on a cruise ship and back stage of the cruise theater. I LOVE cruises.
Gives new meaning to “Love Boat.”
@ Cyn…can I say that it counts cause at least we were in church?
I wanna hear of some nightmares too. Some of yall asses NO YALL WAS ARRESTED.
Almost arrested – FIRST time in a DAYUM park in the passenger side of an eclipse in 1996….mid stroke and half past boredom…tap tap tap..flashing light… a half grin from the cop..”You kids get on home”
Next in line: parking lot of the mall….flashlight police roll by, mysterious car rocking back and forth…windows fogged…mall is closed…looks in window cant see anything..gets back on golf cart and rolls on…and so do we…..
NEAR MISSES….:-)
You must live in a sleepy suburb. Or where Smoky the bear orginated from. Cause…you got officer friendly TWICE.
Well the FIRST one was my FIRST time (cherry poppin time) and we were young, so maybe he was just in a good mood. The second he was security and probably just didnt care.
Y’all are a trip! I didn’t know so much action was going on at church. Where have I been. Anyways, these posts have made a boring day at work go by a lot quicker.
Let me find out that yall should rename VSB to Freakfest 2k8…
Remember “angry sultry sex”? Freakfest 2K8 was our next option. Then we decided up on VSB.com.
We are indeed a “seasoned” bunch.
Hmmm….I guess I can share one…..on the steps of a fire escape on the Blvd. of the Allies, the sun was out and I forgot about my fear of heights.
I just realized that there is probably not one surface in my house that has not been used for the happy slappy! From now on i will be providing plastic seat covers for all friends and family that visit. Some things never really come all the way out of the upholstery! LOL!
If I am ever invited to any of y’all house I’ bringing my own plastic seat cover and a whole bunch of sanitizer
Umm…wow…I feel SOO grown when I can contribute to the freaky stuff you’ve done list…I was a late bloomer and somehow I thought I “would never!”
The captain’s bathroom on a cruise ship…it’s not anything special just the closet loo to the hull that the captain would use need he go pee-pee. This is the most significant of the many public restrooms on the cruise I shagged in on that one trip.
In this cove-like area on a private beach in the Bahamas as jet skiers were passing by.
In my dorm room’s study hall.
But my absolute favorite and most dangerous was just last year…on the 2nd floor of the book stacks at my university’s library. This has always been one of my fantasies…I’m always in the friggin’ library. But now I think of how dumb I would have looked if I had gotten caught! Next time, we do it at HIS school’s library and not mine!
(regular commenter posting anonymously)
A tie between
1. Golf course and,
2. Bedroom… after we dragged the 6 year nephew (sleep over) into the closet.
this gives a new meaning to “a hole in one”
Wow…I have a few. But the 1st one that came to mind was at Knott’s Berry Farm behind one of the rides so I’ll roll with that.
central park
and i itched for days afterwards..i hate grass.
My fav was Stone Mountain. Running with a trainer and got really sweaty on the way down. Stoped off on a cliff got naked and did the deed. It was so nice. Every part of my body felt refreshed!!!
The park is a classic, my fav is Grant Park parking lot. On the car.
I will try the hwy naked in heels, that is what I’ve told the hubbie as soon as I read that one. I don’t think I can wait for it to rain. We will be on 75 before the week is done; I have the shoes picked out already!!!!!
While I was an undergrad in college my youngest brother had come to visit to watch a basketball game (at the time Lamar Odom played there and because he had a huge following from high school tickets were always sold out and people form everywhere were there to see him play)an old high school flame, who went to school in Atlanta, was also there for the game; at the time I had a double room but my room mate had left school mid semester. My bed was set up so that the two dorm beds were put together so I had a “Queen” sized bed.
That night as my 11 year old brother slept on one side of the bed, me and dude got it ON on next to him.
I had forgotten all about this until I read BC ‘s(not his/her real name) story.
Guess I’ll stop lurking around and actually comment:
1. In the DJ booth at a very crowded club in Dallas Saturday before last.
2. In a dance studio completely surrounded by floor-to-ceiling mirrors
I think that’s all I’m willing to reveal at this time…
ciao!
It was at a church retreat/picnic, but I was banging the assistant pastor’s daughter in the van of one of the deacons while my good friend looked out even though everyone could see the van rocking and it didn’t have tinted windows!! We had some good times! Our 1st time was at her home in he bathroom while her father and the rest of the men’s auxiliary members from the church were downstairs waiting on me so they could bless the food!! Someone came up and knocked on the door right when I was about to cum, heard the noise and yelled through the door for me to use the air deoderizer!! When I finally walked out, another guy was standing waiting to come in, causing her to hop in the shower while he sat down and took a shit for about 10 mins! She said she nearly threw up while waiting for him to finish!!
ROFLMAO!
too much! u goin with a gasoline thong on homie!! LOL
on the side of the road on an extremely public road in The Bronx at 5 pm in the middle of summer with no tint.
and I almost got caught going down on my boyfriend on 95 N by the cops at a roadblock in the Bronx
On top of my boss’s mahogany desk, on top of my boss’s leather love seat in his office, his window ledges and his leather office chair. I’m vengeful like that.