Friday Fun In the Summertime

I don’t know where you are, but here in Washington, D.C., we cannot wait for summer to hit. For whatever reason, it’s been rather cool the past few days. But that hasn’t stopped people from coming outside dressed in next to nothing.

Yep, summer’s right around the corner. What that means is folks will start going on outdoor dates and gazing in each other’s eyes whilst they sit amongst the billion glades of grass around them. Oh to be one with nature.

Well the summertime fun got me to thinking about something. One of my favorite activities used to be going to the zoo; a brotha really likes panda bear exhibits. Maybe it’s because they’re mixed like me. Me no know.

And do you know what a terrible date the zoo makes when you’re still trying to feel each other out…innocently?

Terrible date you say?

Yep terrible. And let me tell you why. It’s a terrible date because its the kind of place that people fall in love. It’s hard to fawn jointly over a fuzzy wittle animaw and not catch feelings. You see, zoos bring out the little kid in all of us and our innocence and inner good person shows up — and that’s hard to resist. Women cannot help themselves but to fall in love with a man who can appreciate a polar bear. And men can’t stop themselves from finding their date to be insanely precious while she tries not to get bit by the camel she just has to pet.

Cute shit? Death knell for relegating a chick or dude to just “smash off potential”.

I feel the same about feeding ducks or birdfeeding in a park. Both terrible things to do if you’re not trying to fall in love.

With that in mind, what are some other places or activities you shouldn’t participate in with a date if you’re not trying to fall in love?

Be creative — somewhere out there is a person who needs to know where not to take their date because they don’t want to fall in love. And we can help them.

It’s not only our duty to please that booty…it’s our duty to scrub that love.

–PANAMA JACKSON aka VSB P aka Soul Brotha #2

292 thoughts on “Friday Fun In the Summertime

  1. Hmm you know, I forget you’re mixed sometimes.

    Unfortunately my dating repertoire is extremely small, so I have no idea what a bad date location would entail. I would say anyplace where you can’t talk, hold hands, or touch each other.

    • what you’re describing sounds like the movies. and in my opinion that’s the “safest” place to go on a date. that is unless it’s “When Harry Met Sally” or “The Notebook”…ok, so it’s obvious by now i’m a mushy son of a b**ch.

            • @ cheryl and you chould cause if they are calling your children Mulatto they might as well be calling them half breeds…. I find it offensinve as well

            • @Ana B – nothing gets my foot into someone’s ass quicker than calling my children half-breeds, mutts, or n-word babies.

              all of which has occurred btw.

            • But they are half-breeds. Unless your baby father is mixed. Thus, they are quadroons. Quarter breeds, if you will.

              All jokes people, all jokes. If the word ‘mullato’ is offensive, so is the word Black.

            • the etymolygy of the word mulatto stems from the word mule and in my culture it is just as bad as calling you a n*g. its quite offensive but then agaqin we also us the term black (for a woman, negra) as a term of endearment…

            • @ Sista Toldja – its all about context.

              some stranger calling my kids half-breeds, et al isn’t whats hot in my lil cul-de-sac (ie, street – forgive im retarded). im not offended by the word mulatto in and of itself – maybe offended at my kids being referred to as mulatto is a lil strong – not really offended per se, more like annoyed.

              mutts or worse? nah, my inner felon breaks free and causes a commotion.

            • I am Guatemalan born (both my parents have Guatemalan indigeonous roots and Spanish (from Spain) ancestory with a little Chinese thrown in for good measure) but raised here in the US, New England to be exact since age 3.

      • Ya know, I just have to do this.

        I think “The Notebook” is the MOST OVERRATED movie like ever. I kept hearing how great that movie was and I’m a sucker for a good romantic comedy.

        Turns out it wasn’t a romantic comedy and EVERYBODY lied to me.

        I don’t like uber-depressing movies and that was the Notebook thru and thru.

        Plus, I just didn’t think it was that good.

        • there was nothing comedic about that movie. its just pure ROMEO and JULIETTE set in the midwest in the 50′s

        • OMG! Let me tell my gurlz about this hatin’ going on with The Notebook (kidding). Seriously, the Notebook was written by Nicholas Sparks so as far as craft goes, the movie was bound to be a bit lacking. I think it’s a chick thing because I was in love with Ryan Gosling’s character the minute he started writing her letters…and when he built that house with his dad…i almost cried (wait i did cry)…i digress, back to the friday topic.

          • @ Miss P dont get it twisted, I love the notebook, its right up there with Dove milk chocolate and wise salt and vinegar chips when Im PMS’n

            My favorite is when he gets in the bed with her the scene at the end when she sundowns is just heartwrenching. it is a pure love story right up there with an affair to remember

            • thank you! and i thought i was the only one who liked salt n’ vinegar chips at that time of the month (TMI, oops) My favorite scene is when he makes love to her in the rain and she’s trying to resist his passions and sh*t. and i love the end too..*wiping corner of my eye*

            • Hmm love me some salt and vinegar chips, and I loved the Notebook even though I’m not a big fan of pure romance movies. However have you seen an Affair to Remember? That movie was horrible and stupid. I don’t understand why people claim its the most romantic movie ever. I think they were all just in love with Cary Grant.

            • I did see An Affair to Remember and although it’s not one of my all time favorites, what appealed to me about the plot was the idea of the star crossed lover thing. Yeh, I’m a sap. I think that’s why everyone raves about this film because in spite of all the odds stacked against Cary Grant & Deborah Kerr their “love” still prevailed.

        • I haven’t watched The Notebook. Everyone keeps telling me, “OMG!!!YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!!!!”
          That right there already makes me leery. I don’t like overly cheesy movies, and I have a feeling it will be this way.

  2. 1. Point Park- it’s where the 3 rivers meet in Pittsburgh and it’s a pretty park from what i recall (last time i was there I was 17/18 and absoultely smitten by my first bf). the water, the calm, and other couples holding hands. You feel compelled to make out for hours, stare at each other and miss the 77B going home. *sweet nostalgia*

    2. The Pet Store/Dog Park…i lose my mind every time I see a dog of any kind. I love dogs and puppycats. So if I’m with a man and I see him bond with dogs the way I do…i get all mushy inside. (ok, so this wouldn’t really be a date, but i’m a cheap date so maybe it would…)

    3. Blockbuster night featuring “When Harry Met Sally”…this is my private barometer of male sensitivity. If he laughs as much as I do at this flick, well then I’m sprung.

    4. Bookstore dates. Although I’ve never gone on a date with anyone that liked to read as much as i do (a sad admission of truth). If I did go on a bookstore date, I’d probably ask for his stem cells if I got the impression that he was enjoying sitting on the floor of Barnes & Noble reading (& smelling) books as much I do.

    5. Picnic date- I’ve never had one of these but I’ve idealized the event so much in my mind that I would probably fall madly in love with the person who proposed such an idea. A big blanket, wine, and cheese crackers? let’s just say lovey-dovey spooning would soon follow.

    6. Beach date- I love, love, love the beach. So much so that I’ve been known to take the bus to Santa Monica by myself and fall asleep under the sun near Pier 17 for hours on end. But rarely do I meet Black men in La-La Land who love the beach as much as I do. However if a man did take me to the beach and layed beside me under the sun staring at me in my boy shorts bikini I think I’d ask him to have his children. (i kid, i kid- or am i?)

    i think that’s enuf chatter from Miss P …back to dancing in the mirror by myself with my mp3.

      • No Blockbuster nights early on, period. It’s not so much a “fall in love” danger zone, as it is a “fall in the bed” (or “fall on the floor”, perhaps more accurately). No time in the house PERIOD, until you are ready for the heavy petting stage of courtship.

      • “puppycats” are smaller and/or younger dogs that make you purse your lips together and start talking baby talk like “hiiipoochiewoochie”…

    • “1. Point Park- it’s where the 3 rivers meet in Pittsburgh and it’s a pretty park from what i recall”

      yeah, as far as “places in the burgh where you can very easily fall in love”, the point is definitely top five.

        • “Agreed.

          Pittsburgh has more “date” things to do than any other city I can think of.”

          yea. along with getting stabbed, falling in love is one of the easiest things to do in the burgh

          • The burgh gets it gully like that? You’re saying that Wiz Khalifa’s uber party Pittsburgh is that place vibe is wrong?

            Say Yeah?? Or say no?

            DC got this getting shot shit on lock though son. We do this. Just two weeks ago 2 cats got shot two blocks over from me…in broad daylight. AND IT WAS A SLOW WEEK!

            Misplaced pride 4 lyfe!

            • “You’re saying that Wiz Khalifa’s uber party Pittsburgh is that place vibe is wrong?”

              Huh? I don’t understand…unless it’s an inside joke and i’m not supposed to get it.

            • ““You’re saying that Wiz Khalifa’s uber party Pittsburgh is that place vibe is wrong?”

              Huh? I don’t understand…unless it’s an inside joke and i’m not supposed to get it.”

              wiz khalifa is a rapper from pittsburgh and shit. i was gonna make a snarky comment about “listening to music made after 1993″ to you, but the wiz is still pretty obscure, even to people who follow rap

            • Amazing the difference punctuation can make…

              “…Wiz Khalifa’s uber-party, Pittsburgh-is-that-place vibe is wrong?”

              That should clear it up somewhat…

            • @ Panama ~ kind of in line with tyour panda theeme today: Panda eats shoots and leaves or Panda eats, shoots, and leaves. ah! the art of punctuation

          • LOL…well damn. I used to feel safe when I was in school out there. Or maybe anything feels safe compared to Philly :-/

            • “Let me find out Pittsburg is red hot.”

              lol…when you find out please let me know as well.

              actually though, the burgh isn’t that bad. its home to the steelers, the champ, and some of the best breakfast food you’ll ever meet. plus, we have lots of hills and water.

    • nothing is wrong with falling in love. However, when you’re first getting to know someone it’s important to pace yourself emotionally, so that you don’t start naming your first child just cuz you saw him pet that puppycat the way he did.

      oh…and ditto on the family meeting thing. just say no.

  3. I gotta disagree with the entire approach to first dates on this blog. Isn’t the goal to see a side of someone you wouldn’t normally be privy to at your local Applebee’s…lol. I mean really, I like interactive first dates or those that incite emotions b/c I want a sense of who that person really is when they are not “on”.

    I think the zoo would be a great first date, not everyone falls in love with the pandas…parks, rivers and lakes are also amongst my favs…bowling, pool, mini golf and go cart riding are also great ones b/c it shows how competitive a person is and how well they deal with losing.

    I don’t know I guess I just missed the mark completely on this one…

  4. Avoid candles whatsoever. Candlelit dinners…candlelit wine tastings…whatever. It’s just something about soft lit areas and candles that instantly conjure up butterflies and googly eyes.

    • You date jumpoffs so that they shall continue to be jumpoffs. You see, jumpoffs have feelings too.

      If you treat them like pegged-legged step children, then perhaps they won’t jump-on…if ya know what I mean.

      • yes date, but never out. if thats a deal breaker then so be it. the best way to manage a jump-off is by managing time with them and where it takes place. be nice, watch a movie, share a meal but only at the jump-off spot and never too much. once every other week maybe. this will subconciously train the energy in motion (emotion) watch the energy in motion and make adjustments as needed for a tailored fit. management of time and place also works when trying to get to know someone to avoid “fools rushing in” (rushing into love) back to getting the jump-off jumped off, when a jump off recognizes that you respect, show a good time, do more than just “hit” but are not concerned with going out in public or becoming co-dependent with ur time, then even if they detach they will come back if you maintain ur composure. If they threaten to pull the panties up if you don’t aquiesce to a demand, I consider that waterboarding (torture) and don’t negotiate with terrorists. ok what if you like the sex and are prone to wanting more of it than i subscribe. …here’s what u do; concern yourself with other people and things until its time for that hit to come back in rotation. (excersise some discipline why don’t ya) what are you an addict? well don’t be.

      • That is the magic of a jumpoff. You don’t have to take them out. Either they come over or you go to their spot(ideally you don’t want a jumpoff knowing where you live). Plus, if they cop an attitude, you just dismiss them and replace them in the rotation.

  5. 1) Walking along a pier near the beach, ocean, etc…

    2) Paris – the whole city is about Romance

    3) Boat ride that fits a small amount of people. It’s intimate and very romantic especially at sunset.

    4)Carriage Ride in the park

    5)Anything flower-oriented like gardens

    • 5)Anything flower-oriented like gardens

      the Botanical Gardens in Kona Hawai’i (the big island) utterly romantic its a two mile hike down through the most beautiful tropical flowers and smells amazing, amidst mango trees and ends to a scene where the waves are crashing on rocks that look like the were created from lava…

  6. Fresh oracle will be delivered to you daily from every corner of the empire. (…from the movie 300.) I just like hearing that statement in my mind. Anyways if you want to be sure not to invoke the wrong feelings with someone you’re not sure about yet, guys go somewhere that you would generally go with your homies and do things you would generally do with them. Girls do the same. …and carry yourself in the same manner.

    If it’s determined “just for the beat” then go nowhere except for where the stabbing takes place.

    I wanna say; feel me now touch me later to all my lil busit babbies out there. Sup to all my faithful concubines. I see ya. For any of you who ever wanted to be in my stables; close a door. booty call chix; whats wrong wit your fingers? Dial a number. That’s right, you dont have my new number. ROTFLMAO! For all you women out there who are beautiful fro the inside out. Hug yourself until I can. Respect.

  7. The zoo is actually an okay place for me, cause I don’t get super warm or fuzzy there. I will coo over the very cute animals, which would only be about 5% of them for me. I am also not very nature-y and I am squeamish about things like poop and smelly animals and bugs. So, the date maybe somewhat telling in that regard….DC’s zoo is boring as hell, so I’d be okay there because essentially it’s just a big park with five animals and some pigeons. I am checking out the BX Zoo next month, I’ll let you know if it’s too lovey dove.

    So I guess the zoo would be the PERFECT place for me not to fall in love, LOL.

    A sports game or sports bar would be a good place to go and not fall in love, cause it’s loud and hard to talk too much. However, a man MIGHT fall in love with me there, when he sees how absolutely adorable I am with my beer, and my intrest in sports, which is only made more adorable by my lack of ability to explain what has happened in the game. Fuck, I am cute.

    Don’t take me to a Hip-Hop show, such as Kweli or the Digable Planets, and know all the words to the songs if you don’t want me to fall for you. If you insist upon doing this, don’t be wearing a plaid shirt or some Addidas or a baseball cap (you know, the ones that aren’t “fitteds”, but they actually fit). If you do this, I am NOT liable if I slip something in your drink and you wake up nine months later to the sight of me and our son, Thelonious.

    Also a no-no: any R&B concert, especially Jill Scott or Raheem Devaughn, et.al.

  8. Frankly, this post/question is kinda lame, P. the converse would have made for a better discussion. I’m beginning to think you guys are just trying to gauge our readership loyalty. It’s like you don’t trust us and I don’t know how I feel about that. I can’t even look at you right now*…

    It would seem that if you aren’t trying to fall in love, you shouldn’t really do anything creative/original or date someone you’d feel the need to impress. You could fall in love at a baseball game if you both enjoy baseball… So just take them to a bar where there is plenty of competition and distraction, then you will both be able to keep your inner selves hidden for another 3 months before you finally to go to the zoo and fall in love.

    And like Krush said, if it’s just a jumpoff, why are you trying to date them anyway? This is how they forget their place in society and start making crazy demands like wanting to spend daylight hours in public. Outrageous!

    *Some of you won’t get that.

    • “I’m beginning to think you guys are just trying to gauge our readership loyalty. It’s like you don’t trust us and I don’t know how I feel about that. I can’t even look at you right now*…”

      ***cutting and pasting a reply i just left for teacia***

      d, it’s just our usual facetious fun friday. it’s not that serious.

      • @ Liz and Champ – Maybe you should take your own advice and lighten up.

        Geez, I see that dry humor doesn’t really work with this crowd. Maybe if I would have thrown in a generic “LOL”…

        • Don’t worry D,

          I got a good laugh out of…

          “I can’t even look at you right now*…”

          For some reason that really cracked me up!

    • “And like Krush said, if it’s just a jumpoff, why are you trying to date them anyway? This is how they forget their place in society and start making crazy demands like wanting to spend daylight hours in public. Outrageous!”

      EGG-ZACK-LEE!! dammit…link baskets need to stay in their lane! if you start taking them out, they will think they have been upgraded beyond “making love in the club” and they in fact have not!

      DEVIANT, I thought the same thing of this question…but since I am actively participating in a one-woman in office productivity protest, I have nothing else to do…and I LOVE ME SOME VEE-ESS-BEE…so I just read the question to read “what are BAD first/second date activities that lead to love too soon?”

      • “DEVIANT, I thought the same thing of this question…but since I am actively participating in a one-woman in office productivity protest, I have nothing else to do…”

        And we love you all the same for gracing us with your presence despite the fact that this does nothing to further your life…

        And umm…“what are BAD first/second date activities that lead to love too soon?”

        Bingo.

        • it’s doing WONDERS for my life…this plantation is the sustaining influx of currency that allows me to sustain lifestyle for me and the legacy so that I can get my Master’s in order to pursue my true dream…being a professor of human sexuality!!

          in your words…word…life…!

        • … was his name-o!

          Oh wait… Wrong game.

          As far as “BAD first/second date activities that lead to love too soon” there are none. Everything everybody’s describing might get you laid (or laid out, depending on how you do it) but falling in love? It just seems asinine.

          But you know… I don’t do the whole “dating” thing.

          Now if you wanna know about making the panties drop, I could give you some ideas. But until then I’ll just fall back and wait for someone to say something funny.

      • I used to have the biggest crush on mos until I saw his crackhead ass in real life. That dude is on crack. 24/7. I dont care what anybody says. Nobody is born that skinny and slurring. He doesnt rap anymore because his goddamn mouth cant move fast enough. all he does is sing. If anybody knows me personally and knows how much of a fkn fan I was, this is a huge deal. I am very, very bitter. Crackhead ass motherfucker. Ugh.

    • “I’m beginning to think you guys are just trying to gauge our readership loyalty.”

      Waitaminute…did you just call me R. Kelly!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!

  9. my “LOVE DON’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE” date list places were…

    -the house – it could work both ways…YUM or YUCK…you could find out that your new booty is HOT but lives nastily…it’s a slippery slope…

    -a picnic – 3 words…FEEDING EACH OTHER

    -the fair/carnival – gives him a chance to be all chivalrous and win you the huge stuffed giraffe that you have already named after him! what woman can resist that?

    I CANNOT believe nobody has said the number one place to NEVER take a person you are NOT trying to fall in love with…drum roll please!

    A WEDDING!!! (self explanatory)

    really…I think I would enjoy these dates (except the wedding too soon)…but the assignment was to come up with that were the opposite of ANTI-POON…done!

      • Word!

        I have a dilemma- my stepsister is getting married in 99 days and I am gonna feel like the biggest loser (and not in a good way) if I don’t have a boo to bring home for the ceremony. The likelyhood that I will be serious with a man in 99 days is slim to none….can’t I just bring someone who I’d enjoy shacking up in a hotel with for a couple of days? Would he get the wrong idea? Even if I state clearly that I really need to bring a date and that he will be inroduced to my fam as a friend???? HELP!

        • Hotel stay? And bringing to meet the family? Shucks, you might tell him, but he might try to hit anyway.

        • first of all…flag on the play for knowing you have 99 days to find a date! now…if you’re in the wedding…whether you got a “boo” (i hate that word, too close to boo boo) by then.. I would say go alone…you will be brides-maid-ing anyway…you can’t sit with him…and at the reception you’re at the big table in the front…again, no time to participate in the “date” part of the event…he would be neglected the whole time and force to do the electric slide/harlem shuffle with your drunk Aunt Bunny…and at that point my dear…he will have earned every single drop of drawls juice you can give him! so be prepared to “ROCK THE MIC” if you drag some poor unsuspecting Y chromosome to the nuptials…

          • “he will have earned every single drop of drawls juice you can give him! so be prepared to “ROCK THE MIC” if you drag some poor unsuspecting Y chromosome to the nuptials”

            It’s nice to know that some people understand the meaning of justice and equality!

            • @ Ana B…love you back mama…don’t forget to WHINE IT UP for me at the SOCA shindig! since I will be in MIC CITY watching 4 year olds try to play basketball…

              @D*Stroy…nah you loved it before…keep loving it…I love it when you love it! lol

          • STOP! i can’t stop laughing!!! and I’m supposed to be working…damn you fools are hilarious! Wedding & Hotel stay with a man? sheeeet, you might as well bring knee pads. again, not there’s anything wrong with that…

            • Wait! The whole point is to bring him to the wedding, not be dateless and get my back blown out in the hotel….sorrry, thought I was clear!!!!

              Now what say yall?

            • my thought remains…I don’t think you should bring a date if you’re IN the wedding…you won’t get to DATE him…you will be busy bridesmaid-ing and thus and such…he will come with you and leave with your fast ass play cousin with the stripper shoes on that wasn’t even invited anyway!

              Why do you want a date for this event? Will there be an ex there or something? Cause the dude you bring won’t be getting much (if any) of your time, so he’s more of a seat filler and less of a date…u know?

            • my bad…just saw that you are NOT in the wedding…

              I think your best bet would be to invite a close homeboy that you already know and explain the situation thoroughly…since there is a phenomenon of men behaving like chicks on occasion, he still may get the wrong idea…(shrugging) but what can you do…regardless…each man’s perception is there own truth, so you could make flash cards that say “YOU ARE JUST A FRIEND/DATE” and he still think you are going to be more than that…it’s a slippery slope pretty lady…a slippery slope!

            • @ TOLDJA…dammit…just when I think I have the KWERSTCHUN figga’d out…I read something you said (typed) that throws me back to square one…I say…go to a museum…an open mic…a library…(you know, somewhere that mouthbreathers are too intimidated to go) and meet a guy…you’re cute…you can swing it…but again…this is operating under the assumption that you don’t already have someone in mind…(scrolling back up to GENIUS D. WILLIAM’s comment)

        • Sista T, have you ever seen the movie “The Wedding Date” with the chick from Will & Grace?

          …just a last minute suggestion if you have to push the panic button.

        • do you. confuse everybody at the spot. make the haters mad and do ur slippery lips a flavor and pull ur inner freak out and take the chain off its neck. play dress up, stockings, a full array of panties and intimate appearal, f-me f-me pumps. sheer everthings. introduce hard spots to soft ones. steal away. oh and dresses and skirts bring plenty and change often. u know get dressed just to get undressed. bless urself with a few spankings, perhaps a toy or two. …just make it long and drawn out so that ur lil, lips, hips, nips and intimate thingees are drenched when someone helps you get in and out of the next outfit. in fact change lipstick and lipgloss a couple eleventeen times and kiss it off just to put it back on. find occasional moments to flash ur kitty to him on the low at all the events surrounding the wedding. grab something. he pulls you in just to push him away. enjoy urself even if it chokes a lil . …and fuck who might be there at the wedding. make sure you do this with someone who is balanced and can handle the fun. make sure you handle the same. if i answered your query any further i’d have to charge. at the center of answer is a resounding YES! do it. (take a date/love slave to the wedding)…and then do it some more. when u reflect upon your return remember via muscles you never knew you had are sore.

            • heh heh heh SSSweeeT but i dont know u like that. what, do you think you can just buy me a plane ticket shove a quarter up my ass and I do the pre-coitous slide. if you wanna know whether i’m tall, 6 feet 3 inches to be exact; would that mean ur horizontally challenged? huh shawty? now talk black to me. btw although i write poems this wasn’t one ofem. life too short for u not to enjoy. fuck all the hangups and what somebody at the wedding thinks ENJOY. just make sure ur friend love slave doesn’t get it pretzled.

            • I’m 5’9 of fabulous and you’d be honored to go anywhere with me. However, I was just funning with ya. I knew that wasn’t a poem, but it was a clue that you write poetry. I was just putting my cards on the table, ya dig?

              I’m not worried about what my family says about me. I missed that boat a loooong time ago. My question, which I worded carelessly is as follows: is it plausible for me to expect that within the next 99 days, I can find a fella to bring back to the Chi with me for a wedding? Meaning, someone who I will enjoy sleeping, drinking and talking about folks with. And is it possible that a brother can get this request from someone who he has known for only a few short months without thinking that I am trying to get married to him my damn self?

            • is it plausible for me to expect that within the next 99 days, I can find a fella to bring back to the Chi with me for a wedding? Meaning, someone who I will enjoy sleeping, drinking and talking about. blah blah blah blah qualifier qualifier…….

              not just yes but HELL YES! however its only plausible if you think its plausible. can U (sister i toldya, i toldya!) go to this wedding with someone without having subconcious expectations of relationship and marriage? it is important that you actually desire and believe you can if its going to manifest in that way. align ur desire, intent, belief and action for a faster and better configured manifestation.

              …provided you maintain ur inner and outer sexy and be genuine, (sexy panties cant hurt) you can thru the law of attraction magnetize urself and draw that desire unto urself. you gotta aware and a good judge of charachter in choosing a frieny frien friend who is self-secure, fun loving, authentic, sexy etc. awareness is the key. in the abundance of water the fool is thirsty.

              do not be attached to the future with anticipation and worry, or to the past with longing and regret but remain in the present. move towards your desires while being perfectly centered. there are people that are considered to have a presence because they move with a sense of complete self acceptance. everyone feels the spray from their splash when they enter a room. REFRESHING! keep ur senses open for a ooohhh weee MF.

              ok 5ft. 9″ probably means 5ft. 6 and 1/3″ but who’s mad.

            • Thank you for the words of encouragement! I feel like I should stay home and burn some nag champa and listen to Davina whilst I meditate now. Alas, I will have to do that on the car on the way to the club. Wish me luck!

              Trust me, I am true to my word when I say I am NOT trying to be the next sibling at the altar! I have a target wedding date of July 2017 (consider this your “Save The Date”, cause stamps are gonna be $5 a pop by then). I just need a good man or three for the meantime in between time.

              I am 5’8 and 3/4′ if I am an inch and 6’0 in heels. I am sure that 6’3 means 6 and a quarter, but I’m not mad either. You should post your Mypace info. On my mama, I don’t cyber holler but I am curious to see what you look like and if your poems are cor…good.

            • Sister, you wanna see a picture huh? i throw no shadow cast no reflection but i do shine from the inside out. im not listed in the white or yellow pages (myspace, youtube etc.) but if u show me urs and ill show u mines as they say. maybe bless u with an email adress. ocassionally i make public appearances as im told im something to behold live and in the flesh. feel me now, touch me maybe.

            • Lord.

              Swapping pictures falls under the cybermacking catergory, to which I do not subscribe. But if you ever come to Brooklyn, you’ll see me. I be shining and shit as well.

              If you think I’m not gonna hijack “feel me now, touch me maybe” you are bugging.

    • A Wedding? Agreed. Although i don’t believe in taking a ‘date’ to a wedding anyway. weddings are way too commitment oriented. (lol)

      you’re soooo right how could i forget the fair/carnival/amusement park??? those places just get me all open and ish. (speaking of the Burgh: Tech fair, Kennywood, Spring fling, Mayfair)

  10. In RI we are surrounded by places you shouldn’t go with a date if you arent trying to fall in love here is my list of locals places and then some other places I’ve been.

    1. Waterfire, never heard of it, its amazazing. http://www.waterfire.org/ The seeting dusk through 2am along the Providence river brassiers on the river burning while romantic, jazz, classical, new age music is being piped through speakers under bridges as you walk along the river smelling burning wood watching others in love stroll hand in hand or sitting in many of the nooks, or even better sitting in a gondola floating along on the river observing everything around you… I hope my future husband proposes to me at waterfire. Oh did I mention its free.

    2. The Cliff Walk at Newport RI, ( http://www.galenfrysinger.com/newport_cliff_walk.htm ) something about the Breakers mansion (or cottage as they call them in Newport) to the right of you and the Atlantic Ocean to the left as you walk along at dusk and watch nature take its course beware of hand holding and smooching and perhaps even a little *ahem* in some of the nooks and private places. TOTALLY romantic and you will fall in love or lust with the one you are with.

    3. In DC walking along teh tidal basin (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tidal_Basin)just your boo (I hate that term)and you have nothing to do but talk and frolic among the cherry blossoms. If you arent trying to fall in love you are going to be in trouble

    I have others but I have to go shoe shopping. I will be back.

    • Damn I’m mad late on this one (just came to the site yesterday), but as a NE girl I freaking LOVE The Breakers!

      I’ve gone a few times with my Grandma and its secretly one of the places I wouldnt mind getting married. Now I just need to make a few million to afford it and of course find the right guy. I have a feeling making the milli will be easier.

      • “I have a feeling making the milli will be easier”
        you are speaking the truth… I hear you about the Breakers, ever been on the tour inside. AMAZING. I’m going tomorrow (not to the Breakers) just to Newport and the Cliff Walk. Can’t Wait

  11. Okay, if you wanna avoid the whole falling in love thing do as much possible find as many things to do that have nothing to do with you all staring into each others eyes, holding hands, hugging, walking side by side etc.

    Nothing says I barely like you like paintball!

          • Ana has an open mind. inspiring. cute even. im glad its a woman saying these things juxtapose….

          • condescending no. just saying cute cause you’re a woman. if the comment were from a man i might have said. “cool even” its not my desire or style to conciously call something a guy says or does “cute even” (unless its a joke)i hope you realize that the entire nature of my response was a compliment. so big up to you for not being tight or repressed when it comes to sexual subjects. you might be suprised that a lot of people are but you kicked it back and forth with the champ like a champ. i salute u.

            • I guess I am hypersensitive to “cute” but cool would have worked here too and sounded less condescending.

              I try to hold my own gracias for your compliment.

    • paintball seems like the exact kind of exercise that would get energy in motion flowing. u know how the lil boy and lil girl who fight sometimes really like each other or how the woman and man that just met and one hates on the other. theres usually some pinned up like for each other and its making them feel uncomfortable with themselves because they cant control or understand the emotions. i can just see how paint ball would break down that proverbial “wall” and get shit heated. one black mans opinion.

      • Yea, thats what I meant by foreplay. I was that little girl (grown woman too) who teases and hits the boys so running around doing paintball definitely gets the endorphins and energy up.

  12. I have to agree with Leila on Paris. Ahhh Paris! There’s nothing like the city of lights. That’s where I spent my honeymoon. Wine, art and rich culture– what more can you ask for. Sweet memories…

    Havana, Cuba. This city has to go up there as a place for love to emerge. Between the heat, the waters and the fusion of African and Spanish swagger…this place is brimming with lust!

    A lounge (with dancing)…Nothing better than getting cozy with your lady in a distant corner– with a bottle of rose Cliquot. The music is just loud enough where you need to lean in and speak gently into the woman’s ear (softly and subtly brushing your lips against her ear-lobe). After a couple of glasses of bub, you find the right time to hit the dance floor and grind like you are in the back streets of jamaica. Biddy-bye-bye! SHABBA!

    • Speaking of Jamaica…Negril. The western ost point of the island where I have seen the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen. AMAZING! something about the sun setting over Water while you are sitting on your own little patch of the 7 miles of white sand beach LOVE

      • I didn’t like Negril (Jamaica in general, really) and I saw no such sunset. I was too busy shaking down a band of unscrupulous hookers (in disguise) who tried to stick me for my paper. :-(

        • Well I was by myself on percoset (I had thrown my back out) and it was three days after Hurrican Dean hit and I was leavin the next day. Maybe it was a reflection of the contemplative state that I was in. Nonetheless BEAUTIFUL.

          • Ana,
            Stop this whole charade! That story doesn’t add up.

            1. Your back was “thrown out”
            *NOTE: This statement is accompanied by two-fingered air quotation marks*
            2. You were by yourself in Jamaica
            3. Percocet was in your system. (you neglected to mention the mai-tais)
            4. “Hurricane Dean” sounds like a stripper name.
            5. “Hurricane Dean hit”…I mean c’mon.

            I’m no rocket scientist but it sounds like you had a wild night with the Rastas to me.

            • FYI~i went to Jamaica in Aug 07′ for a wedding, I was there with some of my sorors and frat, and the hurican hit the day after the wedding, we were caught in (a five star resort) the middle of it, my travel partners however were traveling back to the US and I was continuing on to Guatemala so I got stranded by myself for an extra 4 days because I was traveling in the trajectory of the storm (http://www.newsoxy.com/tech/hurricane_season_2007_ends/article10272.htm )

              the day after my best travel partner left me I threw my back out while getting into the room’s deep tub after I got a spa massage… I couldnt do anything but chill the rest of the time I was there so I went to Negril for a day trip and I was on percoset for the pain. No mai tais needed the percoset was quite sufficient.

              Sometimes the truth is not as fascinating as what your dirty mind conjurs up

            • Ana,

              If you think because you came back with supporting documentation, dates, corroborating witnesses and sh*t…that you’re going to change my mind about you and Dean (the Rastafarian stripper) doing the nasty after sipping sizzurp (or whatever other percocet cocktail you concocted)…sorry, nice try! ;-)

    • “Havana, Cuba. This city has to go up there as a place for love to emerge. Between the heat, the waters and the fusion of African and Spanish swagger…this place is brimming with lust!”

      ROFL!! I studied abroad there and I must agree. Those men were like vultures!

      • Wow, that must’ve been great. I only spent two weeks there for a biennial arts conference.

        AND YES, THEY WERE LIKE VULTURES! But don’t say it like its a bad thing. Y’all women could learn a thing or two from those vultures! ;-)

    • I have to agree with Leila on Paris. Ahhh Paris! There’s nothing like the city of lights. That’s where I spent my honeymoon. Wine, art and rich culture– what more can you ask for. Sweet memories…

      Havana, Cuba. This city has to go up there as a place for love to emerge. Between the heat, the waters and the fusion of African and Spanish swagger…this place is brimming with lust!

      A lounge (with dancing)…Nothing better than getting cozy with your lady in a distant corner– with a bottle of rose Cliquot. The music is just loud enough where you need to lean in and speak gently into the woman’s ear (softly and subtly brushing your lips against her ear-lobe). After a couple of glasses of bub, you find the right time to hit the dance floor and grind like you are in the back streets of jamaica. Biddy-bye-bye! SHABBA!

      why did i hear robin leech’s voice in my head when i read this?

  13. Family reunions. I have been to about a dozen–all within the first month of meeting the guy. There I am sitting there with his grandmomma ‘nem, watching him playing with kids and be nice to the elderly. *my heart melts* How can you end it with a guy when you have plans to go to his momma’s house to learn how to cook her to-die-for dumplings?? You can’t!

        • I don’t see the point.

          I understand the purpose but it just all seems very contrived.

          There are too many “rules”: You should/shouldn’t do this or say that.

          It’s like you can’t just be yourself for fear of scaring people off… WTF?

          I like wearing jeans and t-shirts and sitting in front of the TV watching The Godfather.

          Why should I abandon that to get dressed up and go to dinner to have a feigned conversation? Even if it’s only to find out that the other person likes The Godfather too and would have rather kicked it at the crib but the “dating rules” said that was a no-no?

          It’s just easier not to

          • What dating rules say it’s a no-no? I’m glad I don’t read those books.

            But one does have to overcome the stigma of spending time at someones place. For those with a car, you do something light one place, then take her to ice cream somewhere else. Along the way, you stop by your place to get something.

            She comes up, sees your place, you chill there for a few minutes, make no moves on her, then leave, and go out.

            The next time you say, “let’s watch Gladiator at my place”, assuming you rated another date, you’re gold.

          • ROFL … deviant if you were a dude, i’d be trying to plan a blockbuster night witcha.

            that’s why i don’t like dating either.

            or maybe i just need to learn how to spot wack at 20 paces so i avoid being bored for 2 hours at the local applebee’s.

  14. Paddle boating. Is it called paddle boating? The boats where you peddle like a bike? Yeah don’t do that if you aren’t trying to fall in love.

    But, thats on of my favorite things to do as a daytime date in the summer. One I seem to always initiate, too.

    The first one-on-one date that the kids father and I went on was strawberry picking. If history holds true, I wouldn’t recommend doing that either.

      • yeah The Champ I’m thuuurly, yes thuuuuurrly, disgusted by that (will add it to future references, tho).

        btw, i need kudos on holding back on the TMI … you don’t even know the amount of backspacking i have done. If i dont get kudos, i wont think y’all noticed and i won’t continue to backspace!

    • wtf is a paddle boat? I feel like if that was our first date, I’d be talking to him through my crotch, and not in the way that is becoming of me. I’d probably break up with you if you took me out on a paddle boat date. Wore my good shoes for nothing.

      • a paddle boat is a boat that has peddles in it.

        you can get a 2 seater or a 4 seater and each seat has its own peddles. yall peddle (paddle) around the lake, etc.

        cant go at night tho.

        i went paddle boating today, not as a date tho with the kiddies.

        and dammit if *I* took u on a paddle boat date, you would have an awesome damn time and I would have told u to where shoes you didn’t mind getting wet.

        and if you complained, id push you in the water.

  15. I find it truly amazing how we managed to write damn near 160 comments about absolutely nothing…and I’m sure the number will keep climbing…now that’s love!!

  16. LOL! Yeah, Teacia, it’s pretty crazy how many comments have been made about nonsense.

    Well, since we have been speaking about nothing…here are a few random thoughts fo’ that @ss:

    1. Nina Brown looks good. She got slammed pretty hard yesterday for her “non-hotness” and “non-thickness” but I thought she was a pretty black woman…obnoxious and narcissistic but pretty nonetheless. Oh yeah and here gums were definitely overstepping their boundaries.

    2. Isn’t it great when one of us gets into blog-beef with someone else and the next day we’re all friends again?

    3. I need to make a new Slow Jam “tape” and I need some song suggestions that are going to (as Jamie Foxx said in Slow Jamz) “really set the party off right.” Any ideas?

    These already made the list:
    1. Breakin My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes)– Mint Condition
    2. If only for one night–”Big” Luther Vandross
    3. Lose Control– Silk
    4. Tender Love– Force MDs
    5. Cry for You– Jodeci “Ooooh Yeah!”
    6. Ebony Eyes– Rick James
    7. I’d die without you– PM Dawn
    8. Now that we’re done– 112 (Y’all don’t know nuthin ’bout this sh*t right c’here!)
    9. All I do is think of you– Troop

    • Come on D, now after all the talk of this song earlier this week…you left off Boyz II Men’s “Uhh-Ahh”???? You gotta stick that between #4 & #5 (lol).

    • can we get some Lauryn Hill…”The Sweetest Thing”…and maybe…just MAYBE “The Panties” by MosDef..that somg always put and arch in my back…

      • OMG! I know all about “Now That We’re Done”! Between that and “Cupid”, that 1st 112 CD went hard on the slow jam tip.

        I raise you “The Panties” and also wish to add “Talk To You” by Kweli f/Bilal. I haven’t met nobody worth that yet. Also “Git To Steppin”- Mos and Vinja Mojica from Hiteknology….classic.

          • I never really liked Slow Wine or any other song where dude was the lead…

            Now “Lay Your Head on My Pillow” and “Just Me And You” were the jams!!!

            • Is “dude” Dwayne Wiggins? If so, he was the lead on “Just Me And You”.

              “What makes you think that I would try/to run a game on you/Just as sure as my name is Dwayne/(girl you know that I will)/treat you just like a queen….”

            • You see I don’t even remember his name.

              Those aren’t even the lyrics to “Just Me And You”! I expected more from you Sis being a connoisseur of early 90s music like myself.

              I’m listening to it now*… And Raphael LEADS the song…

              *I had to check and make sure a retraction was not in order.

    • AWWWWWWWW snap…D*stroy took it back, waaaay back! Whatever happened to slow jam tapes? Those were the ultimate make out mix tapes in the early 90′s. (on a side note: do people still JUST make out? i miss those times) Anwyay, there’s an After 7 song that’s right on the tip of my tongue that would work well with what you have now. I’ll be back…

    • **sidenote I used to be a college DJ (who wasnt)…Slow JAMZ were my speacialty…. yeah I said it. The guys in school used to tape my show and title the shows as follows… the Panties melter, in the skinz vol 1-5 (I think I still have some of these)…ok back to your regular scheduled program

    • Day by Day – Portrait
      Feel the Fire – Peabo Bryson
      Heaven’s Girl – R. Kelly, Ron Isley, Aaron Hall And Charlie Wilson With Naom
      I’d Still Say Yes – Klymaxx

      • Thought I’d throw you a few.

        Silk “Meeting In my Bedroom/If You”
        Ginuwine “In Those Jeans”
        Christion “Midnight Ecstacy”
        Rome “Just Once, Once More, Three Times”

        I have all of these c&s by the way…lol But the original will do just fine.
        (C&S chopped & screwed, yes I’m from TX. :) )

        Enjoy.

    • What y’all know about:

      Let me love you down– Ready for the world
      So Anxious–Ginuwine
      More and More– Joe
      Say It– Ne-Yo
      Mirror– Ne-Yo
      Say Yes– Floetry

      But on some real sh*t, Thanks Guys! You guys held me down for real. I literally wrote down all these joints so that I can go hog-wild on iTunes tonight.

      Please believe that I’m about to go half on another baby before the other baby even gets here! HOLLA!

      • “Please believe that I’m about to go half on another baby before the other baby even gets here! HOLLA”

        ok really i love you like my brother’s baby momma’s sister but that was REAL TMI

          • Don’t listen to Ana…

            I’m glad to hear that married people are still consummating their union…

            Keep doing what you do. You should never apologize for bringing “D*Pain” to your woman.

      • You dont have to cry – Renee and Angela
        Can you stand the Rain – New Edition
        Come Over – Aaliyah
        if you were here tonight -Alexander O’Neil
        Whip Appeal (the extended jazzy version) – Babyface
        Damn U – Prince
        Deep – BlackStreet
        Secret Garden – Barry white and friends
        Moments in love – Art of Noise

        • I was wondering how long I would have to read before someone would mention Moments in Love. That is a song specifically to have sex to. Not preparation, not foreplay, already nekkid, song.

    • Ah-ha!!! AFTER 7- READY OR NOT that’s the song!!! That was the jam back in the day.

      As far as R.Kelly goes I’m little conflicted about whether I should still endorse him or not…but since we’re on the topic: Honey Love is a slow grind in the back of the club Panty Melter.

      • This is the way I look at R. Kelly. If it’s before the incident it’s okay…If after, I’m a little conflicted.
        Like TP-2.com, I still jam regularly. Chocolate Factory…not so much.

        • Dear Sirs and Madams:

          Kells has been messing with young girls since the early 1990′s. Hello, “Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number”, anyone?

          Sincerely,
          Black Chicago

          • Additional crucial joints that also need to make the cut:

            Fire – Subway (throwwwwwback)
            Together Forever – Shai (def if you’re on that love shit; “Sexual” or “Comforter” just ’cause they’re ill tracks)
            Roll With Me – Co-Ed
            Downtown – SWV (you KNOW you’re going to end up there at some point in the tryst *wink*)
            Tonight – Ready For the World
            Dont Say No, Just Say Yes – Avant
            Sex Games – Case
            Purple Kisses – The Dream
            Bed – J.Holiday (killin’ shit with that early nineties vibe… I STILL love this song)
            All My love – 112 {both versions} (& yes D*Stroy, the first album is a straight classic! “Sexy You” [the muhfuckin interlude] has made it onto a few playlists as well)
            Promise – Ciara (*shrug* …turns me on!)

            …FUCK!! i could go on for days! of course, these jamz are in addition to the mandatory Jodeci, 112, Tony Tone Toni, Mint Condition, Ginuwine, Jagged Edge and R Kelly bsides that are essential to every slow jamz, panties-wet mix

            Happy Humping!

  17. Just meet up at Starbucks or something.
    Super casual. If the guys a tool, you can bounce out without having to sit through a dinner, or a movie.

  18. the photo attached to today’s post is so cute. i almost want them to kiss. *silence*
    ok, carry on…

  19. -Don’t go to the Hancock room overlooking Chicago for dinner
    -Don’t take her to Sugar Hill in ATL and have her favorite singer/songwriter dedicate a song to her (from you)
    -Don’t go on a horse-drawn carriage ride around the Battery in Charleston, SC

    And most of all….if you do not plan to fall in love, don’t date in the summer. If you do, you are bound to fall..there is nothing like summer love!!

  20. ok i just scrolled all the way to the bottom here, couldn’t read any more. I think you guys need to create a forums board?

  21. Pingback: Very Smart Brothas | the champ’s ultimate relationship mixtape

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