Four Simple And Practical Things Black People Can Do So White People Won’t Be So Gotdamn Fucking Scared Of Us » VSB

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Four Simple And Practical Things Black People Can Do So White People Won’t Be So Gotdamn Fucking Scared Of Us

Yesterday, footage was released of 40-year-old Terence Crutcher getting shot and killed by Betty Shelby, a Tulsa police officer. Crutcher appeared to have his hands up, was unarmed, and, from the multiple camera angles made available to the public, didn’t appear to be any sort of a threat. Yet, that didn’t prevent him from getting executed by Shelby. Shot down in the street like a fucking rabid raccoon.

Perhaps the most telling aspect of the footage wasn’t the video, but the audio from the footage taken from a police helicopter. Because it is here you can hear an officer express that Crutcher — who again was unarmed, had his hands up, and didn’t appear to be doing or saying anything remotely threatening — “looks like a bad dude.” It’s a sentiment similar to what Darren Wilson expressed when he shot and killed Michael Brown, claiming that the bullets seemed to make Brown grow bigger and stronger and angrier, like some sort of VantaBlack Popeye. It also reminds me of what George Zimmerman said about Trayvon Martin. And what the Cleveland police officers who ambushed, shot, and killed 12-year-old Tamir Rice said. And what Michael Dunn claimed caused him to fire a gun indiscriminately into a car at a gas station, killing Jordan Davis. And what our preferred choice for president alluded to 20 years ago when she referenced “Superpredators.”

We can continue to protest during the anthem to draw attention to racism and police brutality. And we can continue to demand better and more efficient training for police officers, as well as more accountability for their misdeeds. But while those acts will surely make a difference, as long as the type of White people to be scared to fucking death of us continue to be so scared and so unimpressed with our humanity that the first instinct when engaged in any type of misunderstanding or squabble with us is “Kill it!”, this will continue to happen.

Which leads me to the million-dollar question: What can we do to prevent them from being so gotdamn fucking scared of us? I don’t have any concrete solutions. But I do have some theories.

1. Adopt puppies, and carry them everywhere

If you were to make a Venn diagram with “the type of people to be scared to fucking death of Black people” and “the type of people to value the lives of dogs over the lives of Black people” there’d be a ton of overlap. A shitload of overlap. Which is why it wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world for every Black person in America to hit up the Animal Rescue League today, adopt an orphan puppy, and carry that puppy…everywhere. In the car. On the bus. With a ball. To the mall. They want open carry states? Fine! We’ll turn every state into an open puppy carry state. Imagine the confusion on their faces. “He’s Black so I’m naturally predisposed to shoot him BUT OMG LOOK AT THAT PUPPY!!!!”

And for those doubting the practicality and application of this plan, consider this: Black people have been arrested, shot, and killed by the police for everything from “standing while Black” to “laughing on a wine train while Black.” But I’ve yet to hear of a Black person shot for “being neck-nuzzled by a cute-ass Corgi puppy while Black.”

2. Start frequenting tanning salons

We’ve seen the browning — and, in Donald Trump’s case, the Cheetoing — caused by tanning beds. And I’ve yet to hear about a just tanned, extra crispy White person shot by a police officer who assumed they were Black. So maybe it’s not just the brown skin that makes them so gotdamn fucking scared of us. Maybe it’s the type of brown skin. Maybe if we added that extra layer of gloss and sheen we’d be less scary. We’d also be real life Instagram Ludwig filters grown sentient, but I’d rather be that than dead any day.

3. Stop using so much damn seasoning on our meats

For years, we (Black people) have chided (some) White people for not being particularly generous with the seasonings used to prepare various meats. Hell hath no fury like a Black person forced to eat unseasoned soft wing dings at a company potluck. But maybe they’re on to something. Maybe Old Bay is the secret ingredient that, in their eyes, turns Black people from “people” to “motherfucking Sasquatch.” Maybe, just maybe, the destitute seasoning and poverty meat preparedness is their way of saving us from themselves.

4. Move into the same neighborhoods as the people who are so gotdamn fucking scared of us. Buy the most powerful wifi connection you can for your house. Then label the network “Your Black-Ass Neighbor” and leave it open for anyone to use. 

Because, even if you’re scared to fucking death of him, you do not shoot and kill the free wifi guy.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • Other_guy13

    #5…just not be black

    • HouseOfBonnets

      Or come out the womb with a vest or blastoise armor.

      • Epsilonicus

        +1 for the Pokemon reference

        • Other_guy13

          She love Pokemon like I love Attack on Titan apparently

          • Epsilonicus

            If that next season does not come out…

            • Other_guy13

              Right….but they have two live action movies and a couple of spin offs like AOT No Regrets and another one I think. I also hear they will do a live action TV show so that should hold me over. I just think Godzilla like Zombies are the best thing ever….screw the Walking Dead…AOT is the ish

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                You guys need to read the manga. It’s so damn dark.

                • Other_guy13

                  I just discovered it the other day…I’m so hooked. I knew y’all were cool

                  • RewindingtonMaximus

                    The nerd is strong on this side bruh

                    • Epsilonicus

                      Have you watched Ajin? I like it.

                    • Other_guy13

                      I tried….I couldn’t get into it…is it worth another go or nah?

                    • Epsilonicus

                      I think so.

                    • Other_guy13

                      I’ll check it out this weekend…it’s still on Netflix correct?

                    • Epsilonicus

                      Yup

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      Speaking of Netflix, make sure you watch Sidonia Knights on there too

                    • Epsilonicus

                      Now that is really dope. Is the new season out yet?

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      Nah not yet, just the two seasons they put on there.

                      If you’re bored, try watching Durara, it’s at least 4 seasons deep and a well told story.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      I have, it’s good, but there’s so much better stuff out there.

                      Try Re:Zero -Starting Life in Another World.

                      I promise you, you’ll like this one a lot. It’s so fucked up.

                    • Other_guy13

                      Have you tried Helsing? I didn’t like it at first but I got really into it

                • Attack on Titan makes Game of Thrones look like Sesame Street. You read an issue and you’re just like “We all gonna die.”

                  • RewindingtonMaximus

                    That’s the best part about it. Absolutely no hope.

                    • At least everyone is dying to one of the best anime soundtracks I’ve heard.

                      I also want to know who the music director of Dragon Ball Super is. Songs are off the charts.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      I’ve yet to give Super a chance, maybe I need to fix that

                    • Give it some time, or simply watch “Battle of the Gods” and “Resurrection of F” and skip to the Champ arc, where it gets good.

                      It’s really hitting the fan now, though, since this man below is a VERY bad man.

                      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cec4cba5bb1f62dc800f2a6ee9946507596b3d62d0d3a2fc57fbca66feb3c681.jpg

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      I already watched Battle of the Gods which is why I didn’t even try with Super since they were rehashing it in the first arc, but now you got me interested.

                      I do implore you though to watch Re:Zero, it’s a very good show.

                    • Re: Zero was ok. My wife loved it.

                      Have you checked out Food Wars?

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      Nah I need to watch Food Wars?

                      Just ok? Well I get it’s not for everyone. What about Berserk?

                    • Berserk is up there with Attack on Titan for bleakness! I can’t get enough of it though.

                      Guts is my spirit animal when everyone is pissing me off at work.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      Just want to chop through everything.

                      Also, please tell me you’ve watched Mob Psycho 100

                    • Never heard of Mod Psycho 100!

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      A.W.E.S.O.M.E

                      from the makers of One Punch Man

                    • Oh- and watch Food Wars if you like light hearted comedy. It is really, really funny.

            • I thought it was coming out in 2016. Every time I open up my Netflix list and only see Season 1, I cry a little…

              • Epsilonicus

                Every. Damb. Time.

              • Other_guy13

                2017 I think..they even put out a trailer…I think

            • I actually got the Attack on Titian soundtrack last night.

              • Other_guy13

                It’s really good….esp #5. I have been listening to it all morning

                • I love EMA- the song playing when Eren makes his initial approach to seal the Trost wall.

                  • Other_guy13

                    I plan to run to that today….makes me feel like I’m about to go on an adventure and discover something amazing…but this is my fav forever….idk why…maybe the strings but it just gets me in a mood to work.
                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrKn_mRKq78

                    • I could do some grad school papers to this song.

                      I lift heavy weight to this one:

                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhZDF-W3C0Q

                    • Other_guy13

                      Welcome to my world sir…I got a whole list of running and paper Tracks…I may try to put them on sound-cloud and share it. Oh I love that one too…i’m a little confused when it plays though…I think it’s when they signed up to Scout Regimen but i’m not sure

                    • It’s when Levi first appears and kills the Titan eating the Survey Corps soldier.

                      “Humanity will survive. You will all be wiped out…by Captain Levi!”

                    • Other_guy13

                      I remember that….the one where he wasn’t sure he heard him…that was pretty sad….that entire show gets me in the feels lol

                    • I mean, any victory in that show comes from enormous personal and military loss. It realistically portrays that if a bunch of flesh eating giants suddenly appeared in medieval society, we’d be looking at an extinction level event. And it also makes sense that battles would have like an 80% causality rate with these monsters.

                      I also love how the show realistically downplays willpower. Eren gets his stuff handed to him in every battle in which he relies on willpower alone.

          • HouseOfBonnets

            and mortal kombat.

            • Other_guy13

              Girl….u lucky i’m almost married lol Nah Gf and you are alot alike…she loves all the animie actually beat me in MK the other day…we almost fought over that cuz she cheated…using the same move over and over should not be allowed lol

              • HouseOfBonnets

                Oh god she might be my twin off of the button mashing/Petty plays alone lmao

                • Other_guy13

                  LOl….y’all are bad people (kidding)

              • HouseOfBonnets

                Although I do hate the same move tactic I was hype after practicing injustice solo fir a good month and played against some friends at a party I was aquaman…..dude beat me with harley quinn bu shooting me from the other side of the screen. I was heated.

                • Other_guy13

                  At least my loss was in private…he rude for that…I hope you gave him no play afterwards

                  • HouseOfBonnets

                    No but I side eyed him from that day forward….shorty can still catch a rematch

                    • Other_guy13

                      LMAO!!!

        • HouseOfBonnets

          I try Squirtle is my fave.

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        Bauahahaahahaha @ blastoise armor…that would be so baller. Automatic water canons and everything

        • HouseOfBonnets

          I know right! Plus if everything is similar to the death battle calculations we would be lethal lol

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            An army of 1st grader dressed as Blastoise…I feel like doing this would make me the best Team Rocket member I could possibly be.

            • HouseOfBonnets

              Do this! the wonder twins don’t get my obsession but they support it lol

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                haha they still got your back

      • Other_guy13

        Nah…even then they can go for head shots or simply just lock us up for being black…

        • HouseOfBonnets

          True…. Back to the drawing board unfortunately.

      • Junegirl627

        didn’t work for the baby would had his chest opened by the flash grenade.

        • HouseOfBonnets

          Dang it.

      • Success Is Certain

        Pokemon reference…nice.

    • Well…
      I dont have a choice, now do I sir?

      • Kas

        I’m 1/128 Cherokee on my Dad’s side. Speak for your self.

        • Other_guy13

          1/128th tho…smh

        • B-Dot Willz

          I know a guy that used to drive a Jeep Cherokee. Does that count?

      • Other_guy13

        Tiger Woods tried that….didn’t work too well so idk

        • White woman optional.

          • mr. steal your costco samples

            I’m still mad at dude for using his power, wealth and influence…

            …to smash Perkins waitresses. I mean, the apricot syrup good but damn

            • I think its a secret tradition somewhere, that your first venture had to be homely.

          • Junegirl627

            til she gets mad and accuses you of abusing her and your name becomes Chris Brown.

            • You win.
              We can all go home.

            • Other_guy13

              You went there lol

              • Junegirl627

                I’m a goon today. That video got me all East New York’d

                • Other_guy13

                  We see…hammer don’t hurt em

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                All the way there.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              And then they beat you black enough to be Bobby Brown

          • Other_guy13

            I don’t think that package is available…let me check the back….we also have Mexican and Middle Eastern but be careful with that last option…you may end up in a detention center just because y’all holding hands at a MLB game.

    • Junegirl627

      Nope you’ll catch cancer from bleaching creams.

      • Other_guy13

        Worked for MJ…sort of

        • Junegirl627

          They drugged him til he died after assassinating his character. Plus he had the nerve to turn white kids black so you know his days were number N.E.Ways

          • Other_guy13

            By that logic the Kardashians are next

            • Junegirl627

              Well the mama

  • RewindingtonMaximus

    1) The first option won’t work because they shoot kids, so puppies don’t stand a chance
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZShVz1u8u4

    2) They kill us at tanning salons too
    http://www.news-journalonline.com/news/20140507/police-shoot-kill-suspect-at-south-daytona-tanning-salon

    3) They consider this murder on our side, so they will shoot us
    https://img.ifcdn.com/images/4732fc36b39703fdae44e74f55e54b7502d50f0e35a51856621ce40702b4bbe2_1.jpg

    4) This option might actually work…but one of us is going to steal their wifi password somehow….probably gotta wait til the husband is gone and just do lawn work shirtless while the wife is home.

    • Darkchloe144

      Come on now, puppies supersede black children on any and every given day for some of these people. >_>

      • Junegirl627

        I already said that wouldn’t work cuz they’d shoot you because the puppy was in danger

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Danger, danger Will Robinson!

          • Whoa.
            60’s reference

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              I’m a library of useless information.

        • Maestro G

          Look! That Black guy is using that puppy as a shield to prevent us from seeing his obvious penchant for violence! We are not fooled. So what if he has no weapons, no record, no motive and poses no perceivable threat? We must rescue that poor puppy. EXECUTE HIM!

          • Junegirl627

            I thought he was reaching for a weapon when he bent over to pick up puppy poo poo. “I WAS IN FFFFFEEEEEAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR OF MY LIFE”!!!!

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              He was going to throw the poo at me, I swear it’s a bomb!

              • Junegirl627

                it’s assaulting an overseer! EXECUTE!!!

            • Maestro G

              You mean the leash he was reaching for is not a 12 gauge shotgun? Oops. My bad.

              • Junegirl627

                the puppy was hiding a bomb

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        I know but they might act like we contaminated the puppy with our Blackness or something…like instead of barking, it’s gonna sound like Kevin Hart.

    • Christina K

      They love puppies more than humans. Trust me, it might work. Lol

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        My fingers are crossed darlin but my faith is low unless Sarah McLachlan is literally right next to me making the puppy cry

        • Hahahahahahaha!

        • Word!!!

        • Maestro G

          .

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i applaud your HTML trickery sir

            • Maestro G

              Appreciated, bruh (takes humble bow)

    • LogicalLeopard

      Wait. No. You clearly dont understand the puppy thing. Puppies are more valuable than black adorable children.

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        Not in our possession though

        • LogicalLeopard

          Yeah……you’re right. Especially if you’ve read the hilariously disappointing Corgi thread on here.

  • Ille Jay

    * Adopt white children and adorn them on your nekk ala Ludacris!? “Stand Up!”

    • Junegirl627

      White babies are on the list of things Black people can’t have along with good credit, non predatory mortgage and a peaceful existence.

      • mr. steal your costco samples

        my son is in my avatar there. he and his giant black daddy can get some looks

        • Junegirl627

          Because people assume he is gonna eat the baby or sell it into white slavery… Hello!!! What else is a Big ole blackity black guy gonna do with a lil Wyt babe?

      • “He DEFINITELY stole that baby bro.”

        • Other_guy13

          I say that everytime I see a wypo with a black baby…EVERYTIME

          • I swear to god , I say it in my head and laugh!

            • Other_guy13

              I get in trouble cuz the look on my face is pure confusion.

              • I try not to look them in the eye, lol

                • Other_guy13

                  Too late

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Don’t you see he dressed that baby in Rocawear & FUBU?

        • grownandsexy2

          Saw a black guy with an infant that appeared to be white in Chestnut Street card store. Black guy was blacker than Taye Diggs, baby just looked like a fair skin black baby to me, maybe the product of a WW and the black guy. White guy accosted him on the street, followed him in store and accused him of stealing the infant. Voices were raised, argument followed. Black guy yells, “this is one of the legacies of slavery muthafugga”. Clerks called cops. Black guy shows officers something in his wallet. Cops were satisfied but white guy says, “you can understand my concern officer.”

          White guy actually thought this man kidnapped this infant. He couldn’t wrap his brain around this dark-skinned man being this kid’s daddy.

          • Mochasister

            Why are wypipo so damn nosy?

            • grownandsexy2

              Ain’t they though. I was cackling at the thought of what the white guy likely told his co-workers when he returned to work. Remember when Susan Smith drowned her two sons in the car in SC and blamed in on a BM? I knew right away that she was lying. A black man in SC with two white kids and no one has seen them? Please! A black man in any state of the union with white kids is noticed and questioned. I’ve seen cops interrogate WM with black men to make sure they weren’t being kidnapped.

      • Ille Jay

        You forgot healthy veins and ventricles.

        • Junegirl627

          my bad

      • But I do have the good credit at least!

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          You stole that credit sir, stop lying.

          • Years ago, I worked at a job with an in house credit union, and I used them to refinance my auto loan. Of course, they ran my credit score, and the woman was shocked that my credit was good. Suffice to say that I got a bomb deal on my car note, but the look of utter surprise on her face was worse than it. (And to the brother at Enterprise in Wayne NJ who beat me on the loan, F you!)

            • Kas

              Completely unrelated, my youngest is now hourly hoping for my car to break down because he likes the new car we looked at over the weekend. I need to explain to him that car note equals no new random toys just because.

              • Cheech

                The Elio, though.

            • JusticeNotServed

              i’ve seen that look. its the same look a becky gave me when she figured out i could swim well

        • Junegirl627

          shhhhhhh! They gonna getcha now!

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      I’m not allowed to do that on account that all I’d be good for is attaching them to drones and flying them near airports.

  • Brooklyn_Bruin

    *cues up Ice Cube’s “Man’s Best Friend”*

  • While no truer words have been.spoken in number four…
    Damn if Im gonna tan until I look like agaent orange, You may just very well catch me carrying a puppy taped to my chest and back.
    # IwillBeTheOneInTheHarambeSuit

  • Junegirl627

    Nope won’t work because 1:

    1. They’d shoot you because they thought the puppy was in Danger
    2. They shoot you because you looked suspicious since your all Blackity Black Black hanging around a tanning salon
    3. They’d shoot you because you messed up dinner. Because you know WYT pipo only like us when we are singing, dancing, making them laugh, or cooking their meals or allowing them to save us from….. well them (Watch “The Help”)
    4. They’d shoot you because they would say you are plotting an attack and send a remote controlled robot with explosives to bomb your house.

    Then WYT America would feel safe again until another Black guy walked past.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      But best believe they will be eating some collard greens w/ neckbones & fried chicken while they do all of these things because…cultural appropriation? What’s that?

      • Junegirl627

        They haven’t figured out the secret ingredients in our food. that’s why they only “test” diseases like syphilis and AIDS on us.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Meanwhile they never say anything about the hybrid mega gonorrhea they contract but I’m sleep.

          • Junegirl627

            you better get woke boo! I’m so woke this is what my cat looks like dealing with me.

      • White people collard greens are the WORSE.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Because it’s spinach.

          They just don’t know the difference.

          • Junegirl627

            They need to stick to that vomit looking green bean casserole nobody wants

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              It’s like toxic waste they can eat

        • Junegirl627

          they always cook the danm stems!!! Plus they use bacon instead of ham hocks or neck bones. that soggy azz bacon makes me wanna hurt somebody especially since they don’t even cook the bacon hard. Jeez. flucking WYT peepoo

          • I’ve seen Black people mess up with the bacon though. Who you think they learned it from?

          • justtwo post

            gross!

        • Question

          They say all the letters in “collard”. That should be everything you need to know.

          • Cheech

            Wait, I’ve been saying it wrong?

            • Question

              You pronounce ALL of the letters? The A, R and D together? Psssht…

              Collar’
              Colla’d
              Coll’rd

              But Collared? That’s questionable.

              • Cheech

                I guess so. Usually I eliminate “greens,” though. Just “collards.”

                Which I never get to eat anyway, because a regulation pot serves 8 to 12 people, and in my family of 3 I’m the only one who likes them. I can’t stand to throw away good leftovers and they don’t freeze, so I’ve stopped making them except maybe once a year for a cookout.

        • grownandsexy2

          They can mess up collard greens and fried chicken.

        • Mochasister

          I can only imagine.

  • Epsilonicus

    My neighborhood about 60-40 Black to White. There has been a rash of teenagers running through robbing people since school started. First thing most of my white neighbors wanted to do was ask for more officers. I was nervous about that because I know how Baltimore police get down. They gonna knock every teen upside the head no matter what are/are not doing.

    • You gonna take it to the streets Ep?

      • Epsilonicus

        I pressed for strategic use of current police. So instead of sitting at the club when its empty during the day, actually walk the neighborhood. Plus the kids doing the robberies dont even live in the neighborhood.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          The same thing happened in my neighborhood. These kids from other sides of the Stuy came robbing these white people, then they cry victim and had cops on every corner.

          • Same happened in Washington Heights with less wypipo. I mean they’re all Puerto Ricans, right? Who can tell one from the other? And they give these azzholes guns. SMDH.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              I just…..seriously some days I want to just open up the Earth and watch them all fall in, but then I got to remember I am not a man of hate, and will not hate a whole race, despite HOW EASY THEY MAKE IT FOR ME TO DO.

        • True, true.

        • Check this..
          The Temple U. students stray off the campus, buy their drugs from the local color…then get robbed by the same dudes before they get back to the dorms.

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            Because who told Temple to buy up property in the hood, turn them into dorms, and have Powders all up in areas their parents never allowed them in just to say they were in the

            https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c3/f3/e3/c3f3e34ce8f5e9c8f7eadbda13ceee99.jpg

            • grownandsexy2

              When the dorm on Broad & Cecil B. Moore was going up, there were no less than 7 fires. Likely retribution for not keeping their promise to employ people from the hood.

            • Other_guy13

              LMAO

  • Christina K

    Maybe dress up as a lion. Mufasa style. They go nuts when people kill lions. Or maybe we could all don whale suits. White people lose their entire fucking minds over whales.

    • Amber

      I vote for the whale suit.

      • Christina K

        They will swing from ship to ship trying to stop Japanese whaling ships. I imagine they might jump in front of some cop bullets for us if we’re dressed like whales! Uh oh, I’m on to something here! >D

      • jfenbauer

        who needs a suit. i’m ready when necked

    • **standing at city hall on broad selling Harambe suits. **

    • TheCollinB

      I wanted to laugh off the whale thing….but you’re right. They charter cruises just to go have the possibility of seeing one.

    • Jenniqual Johnson

      Or dolphins!

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      I just literally found out the Lion King is a straight up plagerism of another movie called Kimba the White Lion and straight up my childhood has been ruined forever.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOHjktwvqdE

      • Christina K

        Omg lol. I have to check into this.

      • King Beauregard

        You didn’t know? I used to watch “Kimba” all the time as a kid.

        It’s even obliquely referenced in a “Simpsons” from the 90s:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOOb_o06adA

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          I had no idea. I really never knew at all.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Well damn, now I know…that went way over my head as a kid.

      • Nik White

        Are you unfamiliar with Speed Racer too?

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Nah I been on Speed Racer for the longest. Who ripped off Speed Racer?

          • Nik White

            Phew! They were out about the same time…I think done by the same folks.

      • We used to watch Kimba everyday after school. Right after Speed Racer.

        • Cheech

          We watched it in the lunch room at school.

      • Kullervo

        I mean they’re both just ripoffs of Hamlet so ¯_(?)_/¯

    • Left Shark?

  • Every day, it’s becoming more and more difficult to even entertain white folks. I don’t trust NOT ONE. Not “progressives”, Gary Owens, white chicks who bang black dudes.. NOT ONE.

    I trust a ni66a with a gun, sunglasses and a hoodie standing outside a 7 Eleven at 4 in the morning more than I trust “good white folks”

    • Junegirl627

      The truth! At least you know ni66a with gun up to no good stay away.

      Becky with the prada bag, biff in the chinos, and overseer McKinley are hiding in plain sight was for a chance

      • Ni99a with a gun up to no good at 3am at the bodega will have your back before any Becky. She’s probably the c***t who called the cops anyway.

        • Junegirl627

          Hey the no goods in front of the bodega looked out and made sure no one messed with the kids on their way home from school and broke up the fights.

      • At least he won’t shoot me while my back isx turned.

    • LilMissSideEye

      Did we ever really trust white chicks who bang black dudes, though?

      • Junegirl627

        nope nada not.at.allll

      • Girl NAW.. it was solely for the post.. lmao

    • Trill Mickelson

      I operate under the assumption that the only people who actually care about Black lives are Black people. (Note that this doesn’t mean I assume that all Black people care about Black lives.) If I’m wrong, then I’m wrong — I’ll take my chances erring on the side of caution.

  • Brooklyn_Bruin

    If you want to survive an encounter with the police, pipe balms are the way to go. Set off 3 or 4, and you’ll do just fine.

    • Brooklyn_Bruin

      Purposefully misspelled.

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