Theory & Essay

Four Flat Tires.

It’s happened to all of us at least one good time. Even the most gangsta of individuals (such as myself) have fallen victim.

I’m talking about getting gamed. But not in a bad way, necessarily. I’m talking about running across those individuals who you might not otherwise pay attention to, but they, ya know, laid their game down quite flat.

Back in maybe 1999 or 2000 (it was that long ago, I really can’t remember), I was working at an MCI Call Center in Atlanta. Yes, Panama was that arsehole calling you trying to get you to pay 10 cents a minute to call domestically – this was clearly before cell phones. Well I had my eye on this one particular philly. I voiced this interest to a female co-worker of mine who had started working there at the same time as myself.

One day, I’d gotten the gall to approach said philly. Well, out of the blue, my co-worker friend lets me know that ole girl not only has a boyfriend but he’s one of our bosses.

Blow.Er.

Well, in my down-in-the-dumpedness, she lets me know that if not for ole boy, she’d definitely holler at me and we continue talking. I ended up taking her home that night and we had a good convo in the car. It seems that we had a lot in common and upon realizing this, we started casually dating. Who’d a thunk it?

Apparently co-worker chick who lied to me about the chick I really wanted in order to make sure she got her shot at the kid. She basically hoodwinked my ass in the name of love. In 12 countries and Guatemala, that’s probably romantic and by the time she told me I was actually interested in her.

Until I wasn’t. Too bad I got tired of her in like 2.4 days, quit MCI, became totally freakin’ awesome, and joined the priesthood. By the way, 1 out of 4 of those statements is totally false.

Anyway, the point is, ole girl really gamed my arse. She knew what she wanted and made it happen. I had to give her points for sheer audacity alone. I have no clue what happened to that chick and frankly, I don’t really care. I only remembered her because today I saw a Maserati and let’s just say, she was named after a luxury sports car.

Yes yes y’all, Panama has even given the hoodest of chicks the opportunity to drink at the well that is he. He is I and I am him, slim with the tilted brim (no really, look at my pic on the about page!).

Wanton arrogance aside, I appreciate a woman who lays her game down quite flat and gets what she wants.

So fellow VSBers, whats your best game? Rather, when did you lay your game down so strong that even you were impressed with yourself? Or when did somebody come at you in such a way that you had no choice but to give up the number or some conversation?

Speech.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • overit

    Am I first???

    • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

      @overit, yes

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      @overit,

      LOL yes indeedy

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @overit,

      “girl, i will CUT you!”

      obviously, imma have to watch it a few hundred more times….but im a big fan of telling folks not to interUP…rude

      • overit

        @shatani, uhh scu me sir…lol. Tis the best, quotables for life.

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          @overit,

          imma start callin security whenever things get too complicated!

          • overit

            @shatani, works for me! lol.

    • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

      @overit,

      You had the opportunity, by being the first poster, to set the tone for today’s conversation.

      Good job. :)

      • overit

        @V.E.G., if you were paying tension, ‘Am I first” was supposed to lead to a dialogue with yourself, like, “self, AM I first??” I was hoping it would lead to a lot of self reflection, and healthy competition.

        • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

          @overit,

          nice save.

          lmao at ‘paying tension’

          • overit

            @V.E.G., thanks Vdot lol…

        • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

          @overit, i see…like a discussion about existentialism. Ok, let me refresh on my Sartre and get back to you…lol.

          • overit

            @Miss Patterson, exactly. I’ll be waiting lol.

    • The J.E.M. Formerly Known As Gem

      e-twin,

      i am first. and sometimes last. and often in the middle. and almost always (and preferrably) the only. just depends. on the time, the day, the situation. it’s all circumstantial.

      thank you for this moment of zen and self-actualization and reflection. my day can now begin…

  • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

    Girl he was talkin to me while he was bunned up with lisa, pamela angela, renee and a black squirrel, with a unicorn who’s saddle was made of Phoenix feather

    • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

      @Luvvie,

      But was there glitter though? Cuz if there was glitter involved, I’d have to take off my earrings.

      • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Relax, Relate, Alise

        @PBG,

        I would of had to take off my unicorn horn prosthesis and gore his azz with it

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          @Relax, Relate, Alise,

          But you know, they do say unicorn blood has healing powers. The silver liquid glory…

          • SouthernGirl

            @Luvvie, i thought that was the phoenix? why did i have a HP flashback…

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          @Relax, Relate, Alise,

          Twist it too, cuz that ninja was disrespeckin’!!

      • overit

        @PBG, the glitter is not my concern, I would be livid if there was strands of Koala fur.

        • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

          @overit,

          I’m going in the trunk behind some koala fur. Somebody best call the law!

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          @overit,

          Would you be livid with the person’s forehead?

          • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

            @Luvvie,

            I would be deeply disturbed by their facial spacial arrangements.

            • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

              @PBG,

              And I know I’d be offended by their visual genetic combination

          • overit

            @Luvvie, only if it was a fivehead.

        • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Relax, Relate, Alise

          @overit,

          What you know bout koala fur son?

          • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

            @Relax, Relate, Alise,

            So are koalas now gonna be entered into the VSB lexicon?

            And we wonder why more men don’t post. lol.

            • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

              @V.E.G., I think we will be at Jump the Shark proportions once mermaids start to infiltrate

              • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

                @Intellectual Hedonist,

                I think I started the midget albino thing, so I am just as guilty of driving the men away.

                VSB: Where men come to lose brain cells. ;)

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @Intellectual Hedonist,

                i think it’ll take more than mermaids, personally…theres far too much imagination up in this biznatch!

              • SouthernGirl

                @Intellectual Hedonist, ooooooh, i like mermaids *cue part of your world*

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                lmao! i was just listening to “kiss the girl” LOVE IT!

            • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

              @V.E.G.,

              I don’t wonder. It’s the blatant omission of p.orn links.

            • overit

              @V.E.G., yes you didn’t get the memo? Koalas and gnomes have been added to the rotation.

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              when do we get to snakes..i think albino pythons are pretty! and so does jake the snake!

              • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

                @shatani,

                she said jake the snake….

                BWAHAHAHAH

                that’s why i fux wit chu

          • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

            @Relax, Relate, Alise, I actually thought about all of you when I heard an advertisement, I think it was fo the Boston Museum of Science, they were showing a mythical creatures movie at the IMAX, “unicorns, griffins, and mermaids” I was crying when I heard the commercial

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              @Intellectual Hedonist,

              awwwww….i LOVE the science museum!!!

              *missing home*

          • overit

            @Relax, Relate, Alise, I must admit, all I know about Koalas I learned on some Nickelodeon show when I was little. They are precious though.

            • SouthernGirl

              @overit, hee hee. i remember that show. they had one about gnomes too…

              • overit

                @SouthernGirl, girl what you know about David the Gnome? Riding on foxes, what?? That was my SHOW.

              • SouthernGirl

                @SouthernGirl, lmao! *memories*

            • The J.E.M. Formerly Known As Gem

              well you know, e-twin, we did have a brief discussion on lactose intolerant koalas who live in the outskirts of Australia at Layla Lounge. don’t you remember?? right before we discussed the hypertension of tigers who migrate from India to eastern Europe.

              step your memory game up, homie.

              • overit

                @The J.E.M. Formerly Known As Gem, ok, but in our discussion of right handed people vs. left handed people, we acknowledged while leftys had higher IQ’s, we also had worse memories.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Luvvie,

      “Girl he was talkin to me while he was bunned up with lisa, pamela angela, renee and a black squirrel, with a unicorn who’s saddle was made of Phoenix feather”

      vsb.com: where new lexicon happens

  • overit

    OK, another milestone in my VSB career, I expect e-daps and brutha hugs.

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      @overit,

      What bout them church hugs where only our shoulders touch and our *$$es are sticking out? I love any excuse to burst our a Sister O’Dell special edition hat.

      • overit

        @Luvvie, that is an interfaith hug lol.

    • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

      @overit, ok honestly you would earn those things had you actually posted something other than “am I first”, (IMHO)

      • overit

        @Intellectual Hedonist, aka Debbie Downer, by any means necessary!

        • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

          @overit, I’m saying though. you should’ve posted with reckless abandon!

          • overit

            @Intellectual Hedonist, LMAO, that would have “i wanna be first” all over it. I’ve seen those comments, they are just tacky.

          • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

            @Intellectual Hedonist,

            I’ve advised Overit against reckless abandon. She must abandon w/great care and concern from now on.

            • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

              @PBG,

              You tryna say she must abandon w/ padded walls around her and a sumo suit?

              • overit

                @Luvvie, haha you thought they were dimples. You do know that’s where I got shot right? Went thru my left cheek and came out my right cheek. I’m a thug.

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                overit is thugnificent!

              • http://lostwomanchild.blogspot.com/ blackberry molasses

                @shatani,

                heeeeee… you said Thugnificent

                “Eff Grandad!”

            • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

              @PBG, my most humble of apologies to overit, I was not aware she had representation

              my bad

              • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

                @Intellectual Hedonist,

                She’s way too delicate to be doing anything recklessly. She looks like a chocolate china doll.

              • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

                @PBG,

                overit is adorable. But I hardly think (from her pics) that she’s delicate. I think she can prolly kick arse. lol.

              • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

                @PBG

                Dont let them dimples and that ll peanut head (hehe lofff u) fool u. I KNOW Overit is a G!

              • The J.E.M. Formerly Known As Gem

                as overit’s e-twin, i can vouch for her thugginess. i mean, since i’m a “Gee”, she’s one too!!

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @Intellectual Hedonist,

        LMAO!!

      • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        @Intellectual Hedonist,

        Yeah. The first post being “am I first” is not e-dap worthy.

        But e-daps anyway, overit. lol.

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      @overit, your next assignment: post at least 2 sentences relevant to the topic… you know i’m just messin’ with you girl.

      • overit

        @Miss Patterson, you know I can never write just two sentences.

      • The J.E.M. Formerly Known As Gem

        lmao @ “your next assignment: post at least 2 sentences relevant to the topic”

        i’d have to agree, e-twin. if you took your meds, you’d be able to pay attn to the task at hand: addressing the topic. sheesh!

        *rereading all my comments for today and realizing NONE of them are relevent to the topic* i mean, we all fall short…

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        @Miss Patterson,

        @overit, your next assignment: post at least 2 sentences relevant to the topic… you know i’m just messin’ with you girl.

        lol…right now i’m like 30 comments down the page and i still havent read anything relevant to the entry

  • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

    “In 12 countries and Guatemala, that’s probably romantic ”

    I can vouch for my fellow countrymen and women, that what the MCI chick did was not romantic

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Intellectual Hedonist,

      dammit, i’ve been foiled again with bad information. i was told that in guatemala, that’s all the romance you’re gonna get! lol…

      • http://listentoleon.net ListenToLeon

        @Panama Jackson, I’ve never been to Guatemala, but that sounds less like “romance” and more like “treachery” LOL

        Then again, it really does sound like the plot of some romantic comedy starring Dane Cook or something…

  • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

    i have no game…i am gameless. *sad face*

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      @shatani, don’t be sad. i don’t think the pressure is on the womenfolk to have game. and if we do have game it’s got to be subtle. cuz we’re ladies…right?

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @Miss Patterson,

        im often heard to declare, “you cant talk to me like that! im a fvckin lady!”

        so yes, we’re ladies.

    • http://www.heyyouasked.blogspot.com PBG

      @shatani,

      Oh noes! Not the sad face. It’s ok. Don’t worry about it. Everybody don’t need game. It’s overrated anyway.

    • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

      @shatani,

      oh no. not the sad face.

      I will be teaching a modified (must keep the original for myself) version of my walk/stop/stare/say dayum/walk away technique at 2 pm on Saturday.

      All interested parties may sign up. Free. Includes a recipe for a chocolate chip cookies and mac and cheese and proven scalp massaging techniques.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @V.E.G.,

        *signs name on dotted line*

      • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

        @V.E.G.,

        *signs name on dotted line*

      • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

        @V.E.G., can men come.. Imma sign my husband up …LOL he is only coming for the mac and cheese, chocolate chip cookie scalp massage portion though….

        • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

          @Shay-d-lady,

          You want him to bring you a plate back? lol. Or do you want him to learn to make them?

          • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

            @V.E.G., you think Im crazy… he.ll naw I dont want him eating what you make.. I want you to teach him to make it…better yet.. never mind….you turn my husband into a stalker and I will have to kill you…

            • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

              @Shay-d-lady,

              CTFU

        • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

          @Shay-d-lady, “he is only coming for the mac and cheese, chocolate chip cookie scalp massage portion though….”

          Im still laughing at this

      • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

        @V.E.G., i already got my mac n’ cheese game down. wait, perhaps i do have game! quick! find me a man that needs to be fed! i need to test this out. i’m making it for thanksgiving so hurry up! ***preferably one that looks strikingly similar to idris elba…*** (overit, i just need him for like 4 days)

        • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

          @Miss Patterson, “find me a man that needs to be fed!” Isn’t this every man?

          • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

            @Intellectual Hedonist,

            My thoughts exactly. Chris Rock said it best: if you put a pot on the stove, a man will show up to your table. I have found this to be true.

            • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

              @V.E.G., I’m saying if a man is coming over I hide the pots, they cant see a pot on the stove.

              him: girl! what you got in there it smells good

              me: water negro, water, I was about to boil water

              • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

                @Intellectual Hedonist,

                tell them you don’t have a stove…

              • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

                @V.E.G but wait I have been in my remodeled house for a year without a kitchen. the kitchen was where I knocked down walls and knocked out windows. So I just didnt finish.

                No word of a lie the other day I was burning some pumpkin spice candle and dude comes over.

                him: you baking? that smells delicious, you didnt have to do that for me

                me: I didn’t

                him: but it smells so good, stop playing where you hiding it

                me: in your car, while you weren’t looking I snuck out and put it in your car, why don’t you go look. Fool! it’s a damn candle!

              • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

                @Intellectual Hedonist,

                LMAO. He thought you’d baked him a pie…

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @Intellectual Hedonist,

                that is hilarious!!! ol “if i knew you were comin i’da baked a cake” lookin boy!

        • overit

          @Miss Patterson, talk to Gem. She might not cut you if you ask nicely.

          • The J.E.M. Formerly Known As Gem

            *pouting*

            i dont wanna give him up!!

            • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

              @The J.E.M. Formerly Known As Gem, you gotta give him up. plus he told me you ain’t been treatin’ him right…leaving him at a moment’s notice to go all around the country…he don’t ‘preciate that!

              • The J.E.M. Formerly Known As Gem

                you right about that. i’m a neglectful somebody. *hands head in shame* you can borrow him…

                but i want him back!!

    • overit

      @shatani, like Miss P said:)

    • 8th Wonder

      @shatani, I’ve been told my game is that I have no game.

      So hey, its not necessarily a bad thing.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @8th Wonder,

        ive been told my game is sharp wit and mockery…it just takes a strong man to see that as game lol

        im still waitin!

  • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

    LOL I worked at MCI here in the M-town in 96 I thought I was BALLIN… but anyway.. I think I got game.. its not pre planned but I do have the gift of engagement and entertainment.. if I can start a conversation with you then its on.. .. entertaining, witty, and down to earth mixed with the fearless ness to say what i want and when and kick it straight with no chaser…you know same old soup but reheated with my flavor added….

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @Shay-d-lady,

      oh wait, is that game?? i can do all that! im a joy! lmao…

      • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        @shatani,

        A sense of humor and a down to earth personality are very attractive qualities on a woman.

        Throw in a little cleavage and/or a high, round butt and half the battle is won.

        • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

          @V.E.G., and some eye of newt and toe of frog. lol

          • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

            @Intellectual Hedonist,

            “eye of newt and toe of frog…”

            Sounds like a spell. lol.

            Spells and potions should not be used unless it is a crisis situation. At which point, the spirit of Marie Laveau must be contacted. :)

            I kid, I jest.

            • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

              @V.E.G., LOL!!!

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @Intellectual Hedonist,

                is this about that spaghetti sauce ya’ll were mentioning before??

                *hurl barf spew*

            • SouthernGirl

              @V.E.G., lol. don’t start nothin’

        • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

          @V.E.G., Throw in a little cleavage and/or a high, round butt and half the battle is won.

          yeah T.i.ts and a$$ in the right proportion can alleviate your need for game…

          • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

            @Shay-d-lady,

            My brothers have told/shown me with their dating/mating picks that perky t!ts, naturally so or assisted, and a shapely (doesn’t have to be big) butt take you far.

            Shapely legs don’t hurt.

            • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

              @V.E.G., and “wool of bat and tongue of dog” if all else fails (thats the next thing the spell calls for)

              • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

                @Intellectual Hedonist,

                If all else fails, a spell is in order.

                We’d need candles. Lots and lots of candles.

              • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

                @V.E.G, and a cauldron

              • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

                @Intellectual Hedonist, what’s with all this macbeth chantin’ over the cauldron? are y’all witches now? lol..

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              @V.E.G.,

              “Shapely legs don’t hurt.”

              possible t-shirt

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            double double toil and trouble!

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          @V.E.G.,

          i got the cleavage…i’ll have to work on the butt! lmao

        • shay

          @V.E.G.,

          dont go lettin all the secrets out now… you just abolished my “theres-something-about-that-girl” mystery factor.

  • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

    First, it’s in the approach. I have perfected the walk past, the stop, the eye lock and the barely audible but lip-readable ‘dayum’ and walk away.

    Negroes have 100% of the time done the rest of the work after that.

    As for being impressively gamed, I have to say it is the off the wall first comment that gets me, more than ‘game’. Here are some of the things I’ve been told* that have gotten my interest and lead to (real!) relationships:

    1. I wanna give you my number, but not tonight.

    2. I don’t want to boast, but I’m a bit of a musical genius (he was/is very Prince-esque; been playing 4 instruments his whole life)

    3. (While zipping up my Jimmy Cliff jacket so he could read the front) Trust me, I don’t want to cover these…

    *All of these brothas were first hit with my patented approach.

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      @V.E.G., LOL yes.. pimpin pimpin… you know these men like to be led.. a man without instruction? headed for destruction….LMAO

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        @Shay-d-lady,

        oh, im puttin that on a t-shirt!

        • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

          @shatani, it aint mine.. its a modified quote from American Pimp.. LMAO

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      @V.E.G., First, it’s in the approach. I have perfected the walk past, the stop, the eye lock and the barely audible but lip-readable ‘dayum’ and walk away.

      LOL cause you know mine is the walk past, stop eye lock and F!@ck wit ya girl… LOL but I was young back then.. I am going to recommend your approach to my sister.. LOL in fact we just pulled the “shy sister” on this guy at lunch today LMAO he bought our wings and errythang…

      • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        @Shay-d-lady,

        aaaaah. Free yard bird.

        • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

          @V.E.G., yes.. it was delectable.. you know free always makes it good….and my sister is a monster…I would think she is a lot like you VEG ( yall share similar wifelike abilities that tend to induce stalkerism.. in fact this should be a super power on heroes.) so dude is in for a shocker…

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @Shay-d-lady,

            im mad i missed that this should be a power on heroes!! lmao

      • overit

        @Shay-d-lady, not the F!@ck wit ya girl…can’t go wrong there.

        • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

          @overit, yall sleeping on that shyt… it works wonders I tell ya.. but you know you gotta find your own opener… whatever you feel comfortable saying …h.ell it could just be.. Hi there.. if done with the right amount of swag and se.x.iness.. you could also buy his drank.. but since we talking about game I aint trying to spend no money..just swapping spit and talking shyt.nawhatimsayin…..

          • 8th Wonder

            “just swapping spit and talking shyt.nawhatimsayin…..”

            *blink*

            • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

              @8th Wonder, another quote form American Pimp… L OL I was trying to get all my faves on this post.. LMAO..

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                @Shay-d-lady,

                lmao! i was confused for a moment…but i do enjoy talkin shyt, though!

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @V.E.G.,

      veggie, i have a problem with eye contact.

      • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        @shatani,

        I do too, honestly. But you get over it when in heat. :D When I lock eyes with people they are either intrigued or become very uncomfortable and fidgety. lol.

        • The J.E.M. Formerly Known As Gem

          that’s cuz you a green-eyed bandit. mesmorizing ppl as you lock eyes with them. you have an unfair advantage! *crossing arms over chest* not fair!

          • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

            @The J.E.M. Formerly Known As Gem,

            the green eyes do have their perks. :D

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      @V.E.G., dayum!! on #3…dang v.e.g., you workin’ em, huh?

      • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        @Miss Patterson,

        I try my best.

    • shay

      @V.E.G.,
      “the walk past, the stop, the eye lock and the barely audible but lip-readable ‘dayum’ and walk away.”

      whats funny is i did this in my mind at my current SO who I am actually getting along very well with right now, lol

    • SouthernCharm

      @V.E.G.,

      “First, it’s in the approach. I have perfected the walk past, the stop, the eye lock and the barely audible but lip-readable ‘dayum’ and walk away.”

      just imagining the visual of this made my day.

      • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        @SouthernCharm,

        Wait till you see it in person :D

  • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

    *miss p checks her pocket, afro puff & the bottoms of her flip flops* i don’t think i have game, y’all.
    unless…does bad poetry count? i think that worked once on a morehouse man. yeah, i’m pretty sure it did.

    btw, you took me back with the mci reference. what was that other telemarketing gig every auc student had? (and why were there so daggone many of them?) there was the gallup poll and something else…it started with an m too.

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      @Miss Patterson, yes bad poetry count.. people feel that game is saying something spectacular.. its not its having the balls to go after what you want and say the most inane shyt with confidence.. game when written often comes off corny and ridiculous cause its not whats being said as much as the confidence attached to it…..

      • sisanda

        @Shay-d-lady,

        Taking notes….”insane shyt”….taking more notes

        This reminds me of a friend of a friend, now this boy is straight up outta-his-Goddaammm-mind when intoxicated. In our entourage he was famous for two of the most ourageous pick-up lines we’ve ever heard a ni99a have a screw loose to say:

        1. While the girl’s boyfriend was passed out on the couch (who happens to be his friend), he walks up to ol girl, starts dancin with her (house party), and says to the girl “Look your boyfriends technically not here, so how about we cut the chitta chat and get straight to it”…i swear to Gawd…

        2. Walks right up to a girl, pissed out of his mind, “I’d love nothing more than to have a sip of your p***y juice” (this was translated from my native tounge, which sounds so f***N unorthodox)

        This ni99a just had my jaw gaping in disbelief!!

        • miss t-lee

          @sisanda,

          This sounds just as unorthodox in English…
          Wow…that kat has some huevos.
          He deserved a throat punch.

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

            @miss t-lee,

            I’ve implemented the throat punch in everyday life and its quite effective. Has ninjas shaping up real quick! Thanks for showing me the ‘way’!

            • miss t-lee

              @Dom,
              You are welcome. Just the mere mention will get you some instant “ack rite” outta them.
              Enjoy. :)

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

          # 2 Is ridiculous in any language.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      @Miss Patterson,

      “does bad poetry count?”

      does a bear sh*t in the woods and wipe its ass with a white rabbit?

      • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

        @The Champ, yes, as a matter of fact IT DOES. plus i know you ain’t talking, “mr. haiku” and run.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Miss Patterson,

          its called the “bait and bounce”, thank you

      • miss t-lee

        @The Champ,
        does a bear sh*t in the woods and wipe its ass with a white rabbit?

        ‘Pac?

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @miss t-lee,

          “what yo phone number” indeed, lol.

  • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

    to piggy bank off of VEG’s list.. some t hings said that have forced my attention

    I actually had a guy tell me… Look im going to walk past you 2 more times.. on the second time tap me on the shoulder so I can give you my best mack daddy impersonation.. the first one is just a dry run….LMAO corny but it got my attention..attention he probably wouldnt have recieved otherwise…

    • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

      @Shay-d-lady,

      This would have worked on me, too.
      Obviously, these one-off lines have to be coupled with cute-ness. lol. If a busted dude had said any of those things, he would have gotten the patented eyebrow raise that sends ‘em running.

      • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

        @V.E.G., LMAO exactly…..

    • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

      @Shay-d-lady, corny with wit always works on me. (not like corny to the extent of embarrassing yourself like Andy from The Office).
      anyway, why is this? and nobody better say it’s cuz i’m corny!

      • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

        @Miss Patterson,

        It’s okay to be corny. You are in good company. :)

        • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

          @V.E.G.,

          *raising hand*

          Been there still do that. :)

  • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

    hmm….how was pattiecakes gamed? i got one, albeit weak, i still got one. once upon a time i had a crush on a guy…his friend was giving me pointers on how to appeal to his shy nature. me and his ‘friend’ talked on the phone pretty regularly and in the midst of this, he told me he had a crush on somebody too. he described her and what she was like and although it sounded kind of suspect…i gave him pointers on how to catch her interest. long story short we ended up making out and dated for a year. wait, did i game myself?

    • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

      @Miss Patterson,

      Were you 14?

      • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

        @V.E.G., um…yeah. by 14 do you mean ‘real age’ 14? like those tests you take about all of your health risk factors and depending on your answer you could be 14, when you’re really like a lot older? then yes, uh-huh fourteen! yep!

        • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

          @Miss Patterson,

          You know I am now imagining a 20-something Miss P getting macked, junior high style. Makes me smile.

          • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

            @V.E.G., junior high style? hey now…watch your tongue miss! don’t make me come out there! luvvie, get yr girl!! (lol)

          • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

            @V.E.G.,

            LMAO!!! its truly adorable!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          @Miss Patterson,

          @V.E.G., um…yeah. by 14 do you mean ‘real age’ 14? like those tests you take about all of your health risk factors and depending on your answer you could be 14, when you’re really like a lot older? then yes, uh-huh fourteen! yep!

          lol…this is cute and sh*t

    • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

      lol, that’s how i got my first gf

      • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

        @kamakula, see…i knew i wasn’t alone. this method is proven to work!

      • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

        @kamakula & miss Patty cakes, aren’t you both from the Burgh?

        Kamakula, is miss Pattycakes one of those women that has recently or previously signed your notarized letter?

        awfully suspicious if you ask me

        • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

          @Intellectual Hedonist, wait…kamakula’s in the Burgh? what?! i don’t nothin’ bout that. that’s luvvie’s guy, anyway ;)

          • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

            @Miss Patterson, looks like kamakula’s got game

        • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

          @Intellectual Hedonist,

          I live in the burgh now. . . and spent 2/3 of my childhood in DC.

      • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

        @kamakula, *pssst…k, we need to get our stories straight*

        • http://www.stickwithyocat.blogspot.com V.E.G.

          @Miss Patterson,

          *gives kamakula and Miss P by bestest Luvvie side-eye*

          • http://www.myspace.com/circa1908 Intellectual Hedonist

            @V.E.G., I second that emotion

        • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

          @Miss Patterson,

          I’ll meet you in the usher’s closet . . . as usual

          • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

            @kamakula,

            I leave you alone for just ONE day, and you sneaking of with Pattiecakes?? See me, see wahala o! Aight, I see how we do.

            ANNOUNCEMENT to the VSBs!
            I’m taking applications for a new e-boo. My current one doesn’t appreciate my awesome, and may need to be replaced. I accept dowry in the form of jollof rice and Bailey’s.

            • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

              @Luvvie,

              Omoge! How you dey? Don’t listen to these yeye people. You know you are the apple of my eye, the only cream in my coffee. . .

            • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

              @Luvvie,

              rice and irish cream?

          • http://www.myspace.com/chicanextdoor Miss Patterson

            @kamakula, do you want me to bring my french maid outfit again? i added fishnets to the ensemble. meet me in an hour…

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @kamakula, yeah, admittedly, that’s the original game right there.

        get a chick to tell you how to game them. lol. for some reason, it always works

        • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

          Actually, when I think about it, that’s how I got my second gf as well.

          We were friends prior to the event and the weekend before school restarted after the winter break, my RA invites me to this “leadership” retreat and tells me they’re looking for more people. Since I knew she didn’t go home over the break and was probably bored as heck, I invited her along.

          We get there, and the ice breaker is this activity where you get a piece of paper that has something you either ask someone else or do with someone else. Like “what city are you from?” or “high five each other”. Then you wander around and try to meet everyone else. I don’t remember what I had, but this other girl there had “give each other a hug”.

          Anyway, at some point, I run into her, we chat for a bit, give each other a lingering hug, then move on. Then I see her again, and we’re like “Hey, I’ve not met you, so what does your paper say?” This goes on for the next 20 minutes. After the remaining orientation stuff is over, we spend the rest of the night chatting. My to be gf meanwhile goes to sleep (apparently pissed at me) and wakes up and returns to see me still with that chick.

          Anyway, after the weekend is over, me and the chick are making plans to hang out, which I share with my friend over IM. Now, we’d had this habit of discussing relationship stuff online, mostly her asking me for a male perspective on something one of her friends was going through. So, you can imagine how suspicious I was when suddenly a new friend of hers had gone to this place that a male friend invited her to, then spent the time hanging out with this other girl. But the friend really likes the guy, so what should she do?

          Being the amazing guy that I am, I decided to have some fun with this :)

          • http://www.myspace.com/wudaman19 WuDaMan

            @kamakula,
            Oh now that sounds like a LOT of fun. mmmhhhmmmm :)