Flawed And All: An Examination of A Female Mantra

Posted on 23 March, 2011 by Panama Jackson

I'm the one talking but I'm telling you to be quiet. Love me, flaws and all.

My favorite Beyonce song in her academically and emotionally jarring catalog is “Flaws And All”. Now, I love it because of the music, the vocal arrangements, and the pseudo trip-hop feel it has. Dummy it is not, but it felt like a departure to me from most of the extremely accessible music of the thundergoat.

However, it might be the most ridiculous song ever. And yet, more women attest to their personal love for this song and siren to the social media gods that they should be accepted, flaws and all at an alarming clip. See, it would seem that most women can personally relate to this song. And I believe that to be true as I think its the most ridiculous song ever. See what I did there?

Flaws and all, as a mantra, is the embodiment of chick logic. Especially since most women swear fo’ Got and three white men that men are the sources of the majority of their problems. And you know what, I might come around on that one. And do you know why? Because in this song, (and assuming that most women feel the same way) the woman is giving the man EVERY possible reason to bail. EVERY LAST ONE. And yet we stay and wonder why. Which is, of course, exactly why you love us. Or me. Or you. Whomever loves you. Women loves us because we put up with their (self-admitted, but fully inadmissible in court) non-sense. Except, its expected anyway. I guess I’m not sure whose winning or losing here. Maybe the city of Detroit. Me no know.

I’m losing my way. I guess that’s also why you love me. Or us. Or you. Whomever.

Let’s examine the lyrics.

Ahem.

First verse:

I’m a trainwreck in the morning/I’m a b*tch in the afternoon/Every now and then without warning/I can be really mean towards you

That first stanza alone is reason enough to me to get the f*ck out of Dodge. Let us continue.

I’m a puzzle yes indeed/Ever complex in every way/And all the pieces aren’t even in the box/And yet you see the picture clear as day

Actually, he doesn’t. He’s confused too. He’s confused as to why in Sam Hill he’d be with a woman who admits she’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic. In one verse, this woman has admitted that she gives bad face in the morning, is a b*tch in the afternoon – which comes EVERYDAY, mind you- and can just pop off for no reason. Not to mention she’s not all the way there. Oh, and delusional for thinking that we see her clear as day.

How can we? ALL THE PIECES AREN’T THERE. Delusional.

Then, to complete the murder, this woman goes on to admit that she doesn’t know why her man loves her…which is of course, why she loves him. Mostly because she’s trippin and he always seems to catch ~~hell~~ her. So from the woman’s vantage point, the full on acceptance of her as a totally flawed being is the truest expression of love.Which in this case it might be considering she’s basically told him to walk away. No Jade.

Effectively, women love men who make bad decisions. Because that’s what Brian Boitano’d do.

But wait! There’s more.

And that’s not to even mention the second verse where she admits to being a poor nag who is running on the fumes of potential.

No. Let’s look at this from another angle. Ladies, how many of you would accept a man who sang this song:

I’m not good at communication/I wish you could be seen but rarely heard/I don’t always like coming home to you/Sometimes I feel more married to my work

I like to leave the toilet seat up/And I will forget to empathize most days/I don’t want to share my feelings/And yet you know what I’m trying to say

There isn’t a woman alive who’d think that was okay. Or who would actually give two sh*ts about a man putting his feelings out there. There’s no acceptance, he’d be told to fix it. Pronto. So whereas the fairer sex wants acceptance, we’d get told to fix our problems.

Hmm…why is that? Why is acceptance so important for women? Is it because so many women are “working” on themselves anyway that they already know whatever issues they have? Why do I ask?

Glad you asked. Imagine your man singing to you this song:

You’re a trainwreck in the morning/You’re a b*tch in the afternoon/And just out of nowhere Dora/you be trippin…for no damn reason

You don’t seem to make much sense/Every convo is a maze of thoughts/I’m not even sure you know yourself/But I’m here now, so what the f*ck

You don’t know why I love you…wait, I don’t either. You keep falling and I KEEP having to catch you. You heavy. Dora b*tch, leggo.

I imagine the receptiveness would be like Gaddhafi being happy to see those fighter planes coming into his air space.

I guess it’s kind of like n*gga. You can tell me how f*cked up you are but if I say it, ees a prollem.

I guess the main bullet point here is, fellas, if a woman tells you “Flaws And All” is her favorite song…run.

Ladies do you love this song? And if so, why does it make any sense? I’m really curious because from every rational perspective, this song is a cautionary tale.

Is this really how a lot of you women feel?

What’s with the flaws and all love?

Mi hombres, can you help me?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka SHUGGIE JACKSON aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

?(I’ve added the video for those who have yet to hear the song or see the video. It was on the Deluxe version of B’Day)

http://fatgrlatheart.com fatgrlatheart

LMAO at all of the above. And no, this is not my anthem.

everybody has flaws though, so i guess the general point is “love me for who i am” … I just wouldn’t say I’m a b*tch EVERY afternoon though lol
- Hawaii
  
  Totally agree on each point made.
  I laughed so damn much while reading this post AND yeah… it’s the general point of the song that made me love it. Like, I’m a Cancer. I tend to be crabby/moody- emotional… suddenly… and for a man to accept that and not just be ghost or consider me a crazed chick because of it, that’s very appreciate it .
  - sol
    
    I don’t get this…. if you know you have a tendency to be suddenly crabby or moody/emotional why not recognize the onslaught of emotions as possibly not true to yourself and wait a while to act on whatever triggered you to feel emotional later?
    
    Wouldn’t it make more sense for you to want the person you love to not be b*tched at for no justifiable reason and work on improving that asset of your personality rather than expecting them to deal with it?
    - Myseducation
      
      Point taken.
      
      However can one work on recognition and control of emotional triggers while at the same time asking to be accepted despite? I think so. We all have moments where we say/do things out of reaction that we may later regret. It seems the more comfortable we are with someone, the more likely we are to not sugar coat/hide any aspect of ourselves.
      
      Besides, some ladies have been rebooting the ovarian operating system monthly for upwards of 2 decades and yet mood swings can still catch ‘em sideways.
      
      And yes, you can be grouchy without rebooting or man-struating. Just using it as a physiologic example of day to day mood variations.
      - http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
        
        i guess, for me i don’t really think that most women are actually ever actively thinking they need to be in control of their emotional triggers. in fact, i’ve had conversations with women who comment and frequent this site who think the emotional reactions are what make them women and to ask them to revise that part of themselves is unfair and asking them not be true to who they are.
        
        emotional trainwrecks. lol. you can’t argue insanity.
        
        Myseducation
        
        With a ‘panel of experts’ you can argue anything.
        
        True, most of us own our crazy and let it define ‘the experience of woman-ness’…but there is a craziness (past grapples, gripes, hurts we project onto current situations) that is ego dissonant that SOME of us ask your patience while we work on.
        
        Before the ‘bull spit’ flag is thrown on the field, I acknowledge I don’t speak for all VSSs
        
        http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
        
        i fully understand where a lot of it comes from. and i also think its got to be extremely difficult being a woman just b/c of a lot of what you all have to deal with on a constant basis.
        
        if a woman (or man for that matter) is truly working on who they are, then there’s no issue. i do however think that very few people are actually the works in progress they like to think they are.
        
        Myseducation
        
        Agreed
        
        http://kineticculture.com NubianEmpress
        
        Whatever, if women are asked to revise their emotional triggers, men need to re-evaluate their selfish tendencies…ijs.
        
        CAsweetface
        
        Co-sign! And emotional unavailbility. Rat bastards!
      - http://www.hotbiscuitsandgravy.com Bengemin Grehe
        
        Call is a shameless plug if you will, but I actually blogged about this topic a few weeks ago.
        
        http://tinyurl.com/6kvfjts
        
        Might be a bit vulgar but whatever.
        
        Myseducation
        
        Shameless plug.
        
        Lol…I can’t say I disagree with you. But even atop the food chain, there is a thing called instinct that we act on fueled by the emotions of the moment that the frontal lobe can’t quite get to in time.
    - http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
      
      that makes so much sense it might have to be burned at the stake for promoting “too much like right-ness”
    - j.ivy
      
      I have this discussion among friends of both sexes. This is what the song is about though. I will try to explain but do understand that you will never understand as we don’t. I will say hormones are a beech.
      
      explanation: emotions fueled by hormones, be it pregnancy or manstration, make sense while you feel them. Some part of you questions whether you have good reasons for such feelings but can easily be drowned out by overwhelming power of what you FEEL. We recognize it’s foolish(don’t make that declaration while we’re in that zone though, if you value life and limb) after the fact. Crying because the vending machine gave you a Dr. Pepper instead of a Pepsi? Justified! Everything in life is attacking your peace, even the machine. OR NOT. and afterwards we can laugh at the non-nonsensicalness of such behavior. I suppose it is comparable to being completely wasted, when every emotion is so strong and feels so real, but when you wake up the next morning accompanied by a fraggle rock that you thought was the most beautiful woman ever and that you loved the night before, you realize you were trippin. Also, imagine how you would respond to the voice of reason from a friend, telling you you were drunk or trippin…in your drunken state you irrationally might assume that they just don’t want you to be happy, they are mad because they wanted Mookie for themselves…the next day though…yeah, what we go through is something like that, except unlike drinking we can’t just decide to stop being hormonal or limit ourselves. Most of the women I know hate this aspect of being a woman. However, recognize that this same imbalance can be the force behind random freaky shenanigans which benefits you! #sweetnsourlove!
      - Honey
        
        lol i like this break down
      - Tellylonglegs
        
        “Most of the women I know hate this aspect of being a woman.”
        
        I used to be one of those women but I had to accept it. I’m emotional and it sucks but it’s a part of what makes me me.
        
        http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
        
        would you like me to accept you, flaws and all?
      - Myseducation
        
        Co-sign 100%
        
        Everything I’d love to say if I wasn’t typing with my thumbs and late for work.
      - Mo-VSS
        
        No further comments on this…you pretty much summed it up.
        
        *disclaimer…I will comment at-will below. So the “no futher comments” comment is false. I’m a woman and I can change my mind like that.
        
        Carry on!
      - sol
        
        I am a woman.
        
        And when I feel really emotional about something I wasn’t emotional about three seconds prior, which does happen, I ignore it.
        
        “Whatever, if women are asked to revise their emotional triggers, men need to re-evaluate their selfish tendencies…ijs.”
        
        We’re not talking about men though are we? This particular conversation is about women, and whether or not the way we excuse grouchiness and pms as a biproduct of having breasteses is any better than the way society excuses men for acting in selfish dick-centric ways as a biproduct of having a ballsack.
        
        I think its bullshit. Just cuz you feel something doesnt mean you have to act on it, what seperates us from animals is our ability to regulate our behaviour when our desires arent exactly in our best interests. I’m probably gonna ruffle some feathers, but ladies we need to take a hard look at this tomfoolery idea of acceptance because while to say that you have flaws you’re tryna work out and you want somebody to be patient with you through them and help you overcome them is human. To say you want somebody to accept your daily bitch-side (which, if it happens daily is no longer a bitch-side but a bitch-personality) is on some real middle school relationship bullshit.
        
        Bryant
        
        Bless you girl, well said.
      - CAsweetface
        
        “Crying because the vending machine gave you a Dr. Pepper instead of a Pepsi? Justified! Everything in life is attacking your peace, even the machine.”
        
        A shed a tear because finally someone broke it down like its “sposed” to be broken! YES! I’ve been an ABS all week! I’ve been referring to myself by my moniker, Angry Black all week because my cracked windshield and seeing the guy i used to date with someone new had me pissed the F off…wrecking me peace…shoot…It took a few days but im back. Thats life…and I definitely feel annoyed at myself for these mini-meltdowns but its hard…gosh.
      - Jessica
        
        I would’ve never thought of that analogy to explain this to someone… touché, girl!
    - Leila
      
      I’m a Cancer too and you can’t control it no matter how hard you try. We react in the moment….
      - JustForToday
        
        I am a Cancer and I disagree.
    - http://twitter.com/#!/TheLadieKiller TheLadieKiller
      
      Couldn’t say it any better lol!! *standing ovation*tears
  - Leila
    
    “I laughed so damn much while reading this post AND yeah… it’s the general point of the song that made me love it. Like, I’m a Cancer. I tend to be crabby/moody- emotional… suddenly… and for a man to accept that and not just be ghost or consider me a crazed chick because of it, that’s very appreciate it”
    
    Co-sign with all points! I was dying of laughter, loved this blog.
  - http://www.pnkwire.blogspot.com C.d.h.
    
    I’m a cancer as well so the mood, emotional thing? Yea. that’s me. I’ve never really analyzed the words to the song the way you did. This song has never been on of my favorites. But I loked it because it was Beyonce. (I love Beyonce). Now looking at your analysis, I think its kind of wrong for a woman to just know those things about herself and not do anything to change them. Yea your man is accepting of your flaws, but that doesn’t mean you should be complacent in them. If you know you’re being a b*%ch in the morning, then stop. I think that’s part of growing up and moving closer to the point of self-actualization. You should be able to recognize things about yourself and be able to change things that are not necessarily that great…like being a b in the morning, or being mean to someone without warning.
    - Cici
      
      I’m a Cancer too -I completely understand. I agree wholeheartedly with what you said.
- http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl
  
  LOL I’m worse than all of ya’ll…I’m a Scorpio. (shocker) I can tell you that I’m pretty cool except when provoked. So for me, it’s not a matter of sudden mood swings cause I’m pretty cool everyday…it’s more a matter of how I control my emotions WHEN I get angry. SOL has a point. We have to learn how to deal with our issues that need changing rather than expecting a man to love us regardless but let’s be honest, some things are a work in progress and can’t be fixed over night. So I find the middle ground in this argument. Fix what you can, expect your man to love you regardless, and ALWAYS work on you. To me, that’s what life is: growth. I’m not going to be this way forever, change is a part of growing up. The point of the song is that we ALL have flaws…yes all of us. Love IS acceptance of the overall package that goes both ways. No one is perfect.
  - http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
    
    work in progress is code word for “i have no idea how to fix my issue, i just hope i find a man who will love me. flaws and all”
    - http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl
      
      That’s not true. I am someone who is very self-aware and constantly working on myself. Work in progress literally means that it’s going to take time to get where I need to be. I don’t sell wolf tickets.
      - CAsweetface
        
        Co-sign…me too girl!
  - http://kineticculture.com NubianEmpress
    
    *makes it clap for SmartFoxGirl
    
    I co-sign completely and whole heartedly…changing oneself is hard, long work,and I think women are more patient when it comes to dating guys working through issues than the other way around.
    - http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
      
      that’s b/c very rarely do the issues actually ever get worked on. and perhaps that goes both ways.
      
      i dont actually agree with you about women being more patient. i believe what you believe to be patience for working thru issues is more just sticking around and sometimes not saying anything. patience implies a belief that the change is coming. or that the issues will resolve themselves. it also implies expectations. just because you’ll stay with a dude who never works thru his issues doesnt make you patient. it makes you masochistic.
      - http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl
        
        You’re a man, you wouldn’t agree. Panama you don’t know what it’s like to be a woman and deal with men romantically. I highly doubt men sit down and discuss their relationship issues with one another so it’s not like you can speak for what’s out there cause well…you may not fully know. Ask your female friends, sisters, etc. We are much more patient than men. That’s how we’re able to raise kids, nurture family, etc. Never on earth have I heard that men are more patient. Give us more credit than that. You’re always talking sh*t about women. We don’t stick around and say nothing. We stay in hopes of change. We are optimistic by nature. Men are more known for sticking around, saying nothing, then hopping on the next best thing. You need more people.
        
        http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
        
        actaully thats not true at all. believe it or not, men do that. i’m not gonna say that its the pre-eminent conversation going in the male Black america, but it does happen.
        
        i need more people and you need jesus. so we’re even. neither of us is gonna get our goal until the time is right.
        
        WeGottaDoBetter
        
        I read SFG: Panama you don’t know what it’s like to be a woman and deal with men romantically.
        
        then I read from Panama: actaully thats not true at all.
        (pause)
        
        Then I went back and re-read.
        
        http://kineticculture.com NubianEmpress
        
        Male Selfishness, Exhibit A: Men are more likely to leave a terminally ill spouse than the other way around
        CNN- http://articles.cnn.com/2001-05-14/health/cancer.divorce_1_cancer-patients-breast-cancer-clinical-oncology?_s=PM:HEALTH
        
        Now, all men aren’t crass and selfish, but I do think that gender roles play a big part in what we see as acceptable behavior in men vs. women. Girls are taught to be sweet and nuturing and interdependent, boys are taught to be aggressive and tough and independent, which doesn’t lend itself to being particularly patient.
        
        *drops mic*
      - kmplx
        
        co-signing – and love the post. there’s a diff between being long-suffering and patience. love this song because of its total pass-the-sick-bucket romanticism (even if you didn’t listen to the words, it’s still a tiiiight song). and am a sucka for that hollywood ish.
        
        she could have just sang “we’re both masochists” on repeat, but you couldn’t pay for no 3 word song like you won’t pay for no cuss show. #bringbackfunnyeddie
      - WIP
        
        Actually, like you’ve (one of y’all) said before, I think it makes you women optimists.
  - Mo-VSS
    
    If we’re gonna go on the horoscope kick, then an Aries women is the worst of them all. Because we’re firery and hot tempered on our good days. On our bad days, we’re like the women on Snapped. LOL!
    
    Seriously though, I know my flaws. I’m either working on them, acknowledging them and NOT working on them (b/c I don’t care enough to…real talk) or it’s fixed. I’m 30 and there’s not too much I don’t know or understand about myself. I either choose to fix it, or don’t. I do, however, let my dude know if I’m having an emotional day or if I need extra attention or whatever. I do this because he’s not a mind reader and I don’t expect him to be…when I want or need something, regardless of the reason (crazy or not) I try to be upfront about it so we can avoid that “bytch in the afternoon” that we (women) all seem to have harboring in us.
http://harrisspeaks.tumblr.com/ G. Cornelius

Yes and thank you…

…I’ll keep you posted
miss t-lee

No Jade huh? Bwhahahaah! “Flaws & All” is an okay song, but seriously if we’re gonna talk about Yawnce songs that I actually like, I’m gonna go with “Dangerously In Love”. The point of the song (F&A) is unconditional love, at least I think that’s where she was going with the lyrics…lol Something that most of us ask for in a relationship.
- Myseducation
  
  The very notion of unconditional love in a society where half the marriages end in divorce… I think we need an operational definition for that one
  - miss t-lee
    
    No.
    - http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
      
      i’m mad you jacked my response.
      - miss t-lee
        
        Sorry PJack!
    - Myseducation
      
      *closes dictionary and walks away*
- http://www.hotbiscuitsandgravy.com Bengemin Grehe
  
  “Yawnce”
  
  Nice. I might have to use that.
  - miss t-lee
    
    Go for it.
- SpottieOttieDarlin
  
  yes, F&A is about unconditional love..you worded that perfectly! “Dangerously In Love” is the song that scares me. It should be called “Dangerous Obsession” instead. “I can’t do this thing called life without you here with me.” THIS line…gtfoh!! I get it, it’s cute..when I was 16 I told my boyfriend it was our song…whatevs.
  
  all things said, neither songs are bad, just not in my BK favorites.
  - miss t-lee
    
    LMAO!!!
    I was going thru some ish when “Dangerously In Love” came out, so it kinda stuck.
  - j.ivy
    
    SN, 16 when this came out? **goes back to checking out my stock portfolio to ensure I can retire on time** #30stillthesamedamn30 i guess.
    - SpottieOttieDarlin
      
      hahaha.. well that depends… Dangerously In Love version 1 (w/ DC) or version 2 (same exact song) w/ just BK?1!? ehh, either way, I was in high school, in “love” and sht. lol
- V Renee
  
  Yeah I’m with you, it’s an okay song. Okay I’m lying, I don’t like that song at all. I had to just relisten to it again to make sure I still didn’t like it.
  - http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie
    
    *DEAD*
  - http://knockingonthirty.blogspot.com/ H
    
    *closes coffin*
    
    LMAO!
  - Sula
    
    We are >< here.
    
    I'm not the biggest Beyonce fan, it's been documented… And I'm not really an R&B or whatev her genre is fan… So I actually had to listen to it, to kinda remember what it was.
    
    So yeah, no.
    - Tes
      
      Pop is her genre…anybody who says otherwise clearly has not seen Videophone or Telephone. Her card’s been revoked indefinitely.
- Mo-VSS
  
  The male version of this song is by Bilal called “Sometimes.”
  
  Google the lyrics and get back to me.
  - http://kineticculture.com NubianEmpress
    
    but Bilal is a diva anyway….i love the acoustic version of ‘think it over’
TWIsM81

*grabs popcorn* This should be fun.

P.S. *whispering* #Cosign!
- iRocksox91
  
  I’m jus waitin 2 see how long it takes 4 this 2 turn into a bash black women/black man war…
  
  *politely pulls out hand*(u kno u sharin that popcorn rite?)
  - TWIsM81
    
    You’re lucky I’m in a sharing kinda mood. lol
legitimate_soul

No. Heyall no. This post enlightened me to this song and I’m telling any man or woman to run away from someone nukkin’ futz like this. So the song says they act like an arse and appreciate the love despite of with no plans to correct behavior? Naw, son.

Love the Jade reference.
- Curious Capital
  
  co-sign allathat. i’ve never heard this song. but now, i kinda want to. reminds me of kell’s real talk. one of the best-worst songs ever.
  - 90sgagirl
    
    lol @ “a few sandwiches short of a picnic!”
    At the end of the day I think that everyone just wants to be accepted for who they are. I’ve seen so many people try to change/mold someone into their own Image ( wear this, why don’t you do this, etc.) instead of just loving and accepting that person for who they are. To err is human nature (no MJ), and if you have a bad habit(s), I think that you shouldn’t be so stubborn ex: “well that’s just they way I am” yeah, but you an Try/Attempt to make yourself better and work on those negative qualities in your personal life/relationships.
    
    I also likethe lyrics to Jessica Simpson’s “With You” (yeah,I’m black, but I also Iisten to #othergenres/nonblackartists )
    ?But with you I can let my hair down I can say anything crazy I know you’ll catch me right before I hit the ground With nothing but a T-shirt on I never felt so beautiful Baby, as I do now Now that I’m with you?
    - Myseducation
      
      I appreciate that chorus as well, 90sgagirl. You’re not alone.
    - WestPointProper
      
      (yeah, i’m black, but I also Iisten to #othergenres/nonblackartists)
      
      i’m sad you felt you had to say this. O_O.
  - Kidsister
    
    Double co-sign on REAL TALK being one of the best-worst songs ever.
    - Curious Capital
      
      Milton!
      - WestPointProper
        
        dead.
http://heardhimsay.com Drew-Shane

I think men want to be more accepted than women. We want them to forgive us and just accept us the way we are. We don’t wanna change and probably won’t. I think this song is more fitting for the males. Maybe “Flaws and All” could use a new title… “Don’t Care And That’s All” – get Neyo on it. Pronto!
- Myseducation
  
  I don’t know, Bobby and/or Chris Brown may be able to do it more justice…
  - Sula
    
    I like this casting!
- http://yahoo namia
  
  CO SIGN..
  - B.
    
    Ne-yo doesn’t possess the testosterone needed to speak for males in any capacity.
    
    Done.
    - WIP
      
      Tank could sing it.
      - Kema
        
        What about Jaheim?
        
        B.
        
        Tank or Jaheim would work.
        
        Really, anybody but Ne-yo is cool with me.
        
        http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie
        
        “Really, anybody but Ne-yo is cool with me.”
        
        This is my motto for everything in life, actually.
        
        http://heardhimsay.com Drew-Shane
        
        Can Neyo at least write the song?
        
        http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie
        
        “Can Neyo at least write the song?”
        
        I probably have no choice, but sure.
      - whyaskquestions
        
        theyll just put him on the cover, but he wont actually sing it.
        
        #nsecure
        
        http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie
        
        LOL!
      - http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul
        
        Yes@WIP….:Maybe I Deserve” is comparable song to “Flaws and All”
- ChloeRayne516
  
  I approve this comment!!
  
  As women we are always bending at the knees to get men to accept us, but men are quick to say ish like ” Shorty this is how it be, either you love it or leave me alone”
http://www.twitter.com/RealTalkSuki2 nowsayitwithme

LMFAO! I’m not even going to join the chorus of “Ooooh that’s my jizzam!” I never really listened to the song until today.

—–>He’s confused as to why in Sam Hill he’d be with a woman who admits she’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic. <—- I fell out reading this. Lol I don't know who admits that today. People (read: women) usually let others (read: men) find out their level of crazy later on. And then that's probably not the ones you gotta watch out for. I don't understand this song though. I mean, I guess I get it. But I don't know why a lot of women, girls, ladies, etc. love this song. One of my close friends LOVES this song to reese's pieces and it drives me wild.
*shrug & hand wiggle* it's alright though. Flaws and all. Lol ha!
- http://www.hotbiscuitsandgravy.com Bengemin Grehe
  
  “I don’t understand this song though. I mean, I guess I get it. But I don’t know why a lot of women, girls, ladies, etc. love this song. One of my close friends LOVES this song to reese’s pieces and it drives me wild.”
  
  Is she crazy?
  - http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
    
    i’ve learned that most of the women who do indeed love and quote this song are indeed crazy. lol. perhaps in a non-destructive way, but yes, nuts.
    
    and its just one of those things you notice subtley. anytime i hear a chick say the words “flaws and all” i immediatly think about what was said before and it determine where that statement was leading. lol.
    - SpottieOttieDarlin
      
      I thought we were all crazy, pj.
      - http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
        
        you said it. and who am i to argue the experts.
        
        SpottieOttieDarlin
        
        actually YOU said it.. not too long ago, either.. don’t make me find the post.
        
        I’m not saying I disagree though. ha!
    - http://kineticculture.com NubianEmpress
      
      “crazy” is a term men use to write women off…I’m hip to you PJ.
      
      *whistles the tune to Ring The Alarm*
  - http://www.twitter.com/RealTalkSuki2 nowsayitwithme
    
    Lol! We’re all crazy but she’s definitely not Marbles-Missing crazy
JAYmatic

Im just gonna sit back and chill on this one, lol. This song alone provides too much “ammo” for me, lol.
D’Lady

I counter with Sha Stimuli’s “Wake up & Go”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqrmBByBapo

It’s amazing how many double standard’s get pulled from Beyonce songs. But I think on the surface many of her fans identify with the song because the basic message is that you love me despite my imperfections. This ofcourse is without delving past the surface meaning of “Flaws and All”. Otherwise, as you have stated the attractiveness and means for staying with this women might be questionable.
- Thereluctantsocialite
  
  Love the message in “Wake up and Go”!
- Yoles
  
  i like this song/video!!! there should be many more like this, but there isn’t right? or am i just out of the music loop????
- http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
  
  That could very well be Sha Stimuli’s first plug on a site that isn’t hip-hop oriented…ever.
  
  Somebody let that brothat know quick.
- Sula
  
  Seriously, I had a girlfriend in college like the girl in the video… Granted we were 18, but come on, son… Her dude had NEVER seen her without lip gloss and at least eye done, and hair on point. And that’s after we had all spent the night out and came back and slept… It was a 24/7 job with her.
- Aisha
  
  I almost posted this video! I love it!
http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

“Why is acceptance so important for women?”

I’d answer this question, but I want to be accepted so I’m gonna keep quiet like a good woman. *awaits various marriage proposals*

Ok. *wakes up*

See, I think anyone loves positive reinforcement, we just love ours a bit more because we’re constantly faced with society telling/showing us that we’re NOT accepted as who we are. And yeah, I’m pretty much talking beauty standards here because let’s face it, that’s pretty much what we’re reduced to mostly. So, yeah a ninja still loving us even if we look like refried hamhocks in the morning is pretty dayum speshul.

THEN AGAIN.

I can’t say I agree with women not putting up with a guy who sung the same song. I mean, I can’t see a male artist releasing this song but trust that this same song is sung throughout real life. The question, “Why you still with this ain’t s**t n**ga?” (or a variation of such) is a common one…
- http://shesoflyy.wordpress.com Muze
  
  girl preach.
  
  i died at refried hamhocks though. lmbo.
- DQ
  
  Refried though? Does it have to happen twice?
  - http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie
    
    It shouldn’t even happen once.
- http://www.alovelydai.com Alovelydai
  
  “I mean, I can’t see a male artist releasing this song but trust that this same song is sung throughout real life.”
  
  As WE ALL KNOW Ne-yo wrote “Irreplaceable” (Lawd somebody give that boy some credit so he can shut up) & he stated several times that he wanted to perform the song himself but didn’t want to sound misogynistic. Can you imagine a dude singing that song? We’d all be like “To the left my arse!”
  - TWIsM81
    
    Ne-Yo does have an underground release of Irreplaceable “From a Man’s POV”.
    
    The chorus:
    
    You must not know ’bout me, you must not know ’bout me/
    I could have another you in an hour/
    Matter fact she’s upstairs in the shower, baby
    You must not know ’bout me, you must think I’m tripping
    ‘Cause I can find another you on the corner
    So don’t you ever for a second get to thinking
    You’re Irreplaceable
    
    The song really is good for a laugh, if you can find it.
    - Honey
      
      “I can find another you on the corner”???? lol i need to find this song and have it in my life
      - WIP
        
        LOL, ok. It sounds like he’s going off. Dem’s fightin’ words.
    - http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson
      
      you know…that’s hilarious.
    - V Renee
      
      OMG I just listened to it. He was out of order.
      
      He called her a trick, a fraud, said she had horse hair and a busted girl. iCant with his lip gloss is popping behind.
      - TWisM81
        
        LOL. I warned you. Guys will find it hilarious, women will be ready to stab him.
    - ChloeRayne516
      
      Matter fact she’s upstairs in the shower, baby
      
      Um. Okay.
      
      Damn!!!!!.
    - http://live.drjays.com/index.php/author/chris-j-the-genius/ Chris J The Genius
      
      I created a parody to this record when I was in high school (not to be confused with my “Best I Ever Had” parody which became a cult sensation) that I was convinced was gonna be the new No Pigeons.
      
      Like to hear it, here it go.
      
      “You ain’t shit without me
      You ain’t shit without me
      So give me back my MasterCard and my Visa
      ‘Cause you ain’t nothin’ but a skank and a skeezer, baby…”
      
      *Puts microphone down and walks away on some Purple Rain ish…*