My favorite Beyonce song in her academically and emotionally jarring catalog is “Flaws And All”. Now, I love it because of the music, the vocal arrangements, and the pseudo trip-hop feel it has. Dummy it is not, but it felt like a departure to me from most of the extremely accessible music of the thundergoat.
However, it might be the most ridiculous song ever. And yet, more women attest to their personal love for this song and siren to the social media gods that they should be accepted, flaws and all at an alarming clip. See, it would seem that most women can personally relate to this song. And I believe that to be true as I think its the most ridiculous song ever. See what I did there?
Flaws and all, as a mantra, is the embodiment of chick logic. Especially since most women swear fo’ Got and three white men that men are the sources of the majority of their problems. And you know what, I might come around on that one. And do you know why? Because in this song, (and assuming that most women feel the same way) the woman is giving the man EVERY possible reason to bail. EVERY LAST ONE. And yet we stay and wonder why. Which is, of course, exactly why you love us. Or me. Or you. Whomever loves you. Women loves us because we put up with their (self-admitted, but fully inadmissible in court) non-sense. Except, its expected anyway. I guess I’m not sure whose winning or losing here. Maybe the city of Detroit. Me no know.
I’m losing my way. I guess that’s also why you love me. Or us. Or you. Whomever.
Let’s examine the lyrics.
I’m a trainwreck in the morning/I’m a b*tch in the afternoon/Every now and then without warning/I can be really mean towards you
That first stanza alone is reason enough to me to get the f*ck out of Dodge. Let us continue.
I’m a puzzle yes indeed/Ever complex in every way/And all the pieces aren’t even in the box/And yet you see the picture clear as day
Actually, he doesn’t. He’s confused too. He’s confused as to why in Sam Hill he’d be with a woman who admits she’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic. In one verse, this woman has admitted that she gives bad face in the morning, is a b*tch in the afternoon – which comes EVERYDAY, mind you- and can just pop off for no reason. Not to mention she’s not all the way there. Oh, and delusional for thinking that we see her clear as day.
How can we? ALL THE PIECES AREN’T THERE. Delusional.
Then, to complete the murder, this woman goes on to admit that she doesn’t know why her man loves her…which is of course, why she loves him. Mostly because she’s trippin and he always seems to catch
hell her. So from the woman’s vantage point, the full on acceptance of her as a totally flawed being is the truest expression of love.Which in this case it might be considering she’s basically told him to walk away. No Jade.
Effectively, women love men who make bad decisions. Because that’s what Brian Boitano’d do.
But wait! There’s more.
And that’s not to even mention the second verse where she admits to being a poor nag who is running on the fumes of potential.
No. Let’s look at this from another angle. Ladies, how many of you would accept a man who sang this song:
I’m not good at communication/I wish you could be seen but rarely heard/I don’t always like coming home to you/Sometimes I feel more married to my work
I like to leave the toilet seat up/And I will forget to empathize most days/I don’t want to share my feelings/And yet you know what I’m trying to say
There isn’t a woman alive who’d think that was okay. Or who would actually give two sh*ts about a man putting his feelings out there. There’s no acceptance, he’d be told to fix it. Pronto. So whereas the fairer sex wants acceptance, we’d get told to fix our problems.
Hmm…why is that? Why is acceptance so important for women? Is it because so many women are “working” on themselves anyway that they already know whatever issues they have? Why do I ask?
Glad you asked. Imagine your man singing to you this song:
You’re a trainwreck in the morning/You’re a b*tch in the afternoon/And just out of nowhere Dora/you be trippin…for no damn reason
You don’t seem to make much sense/Every convo is a maze of thoughts/I’m not even sure you know yourself/But I’m here now, so what the f*ck
You don’t know why I love you…wait, I don’t either. You keep falling and I KEEP having to catch you. You heavy. Dora b*tch, leggo.
I imagine the receptiveness would be like Gaddhafi being happy to see those fighter planes coming into his air space.
I guess it’s kind of like n*gga. You can tell me how f*cked up you are but if I say it, ees a prollem.
I guess the main bullet point here is, fellas, if a woman tells you “Flaws And All” is her favorite song…run.
Ladies do you love this song? And if so, why does it make any sense? I’m really curious because from every rational perspective, this song is a cautionary tale.
Is this really how a lot of you women feel?
What’s with the flaws and all love?
Mi hombres, can you help me?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka SHUGGIE JACKSON aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
?(I’ve added the video for those who have yet to hear the song or see the video. It was on the Deluxe version of B’Day)