Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists, Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

Five Times It’s Perfectly Okay Not To Fight For Your Girl

columbus (1)

***In light of the news that Columbus Short seems to be taking this “Gladiator” thing a bit too seriously, I decided to revise and repost a piece that’s quite apropos.***

“Would and could he fight for me?”

It’s a question that somehow manages to be completely relevant and completely irrelevant at the same damn time.

It’s relevant because it’s never not at least a consideration when a woman is deciding whether she wants to commit to a man. Perhaps “Would and could he protect me?” isn’t the first question she asks herself, but she’ll definitely ask herself that question.

It’s irrelevant because, well, no one actually gets into fights. Actually, lemme rephrase that. Some adults still do get into fights. But it’s a very small percentage of us. And, the 7% of adults who still somehow get into fights at least once every other month probably make up 97% of the adult fight total between themselves. And they’re not reading this. Because adults who get into fights have corns. And people with corns spend all their internet time researching corn remedies.

If you asked one of the 93% — the corn-less non-fighters — about the last time they got into a serious fist fight, I bet most answers would fall between 5th grade and “That time in 9th grade when I thought that I was big enough to talk back to my dad. I was wrong.”

A few days ago, Columbus Short apparently sucker punched a guy who said something disrespectful about his wife, breaking his nose and knocking him out.

I’m not sure if the wife was there, or if she personally felt threatened. If so, although a sucker punch is some sucker shit, he’s somewhat justified. (Extra emphasis on “somewhat.”) You’re supposed to defend your wife. But, is there ever a situation where your woman is disrespected in some way and you’re actually not supposed to fight for her? Of course!

In fact, here are five of them!

1. If she kinda, sorta, had it coming. 

Lemme put it this way: If I’m at a club, and I see some dude push my girl and call her a “bitch,” we are going to have a serious physical problem.

But, if my girl happens to be Erica Mena-ish, and she’s talking shit, throwing drinks, and spitting in people’s faces for no reason, and I happen to see one of the guys who she spit on push her out of his face and call her a “bitch,” we are going to have a…conversation. And then we are going to leave. And then I am going to stop at a gas station. And then I am going to ask her to get me a pack of purple Now & Laters. And then I am going to drive off and leave her there.

2. If you’re definitely going to lose…badly.

Look, I can handle one Kimbo Slice. And by “handle one Kimbo Slice” I mean “sucker punch and run from a Kimbo Slice.” (And yes, I would expect my girl to keep up with me. What’s the point of being in Black Girls Run if you don’t take it literally?)

But, if my girl comes over to me upset that some dudes disrespected her, and she points to a table of three Kimbo Slices and three “Comb That Nigga’s Chest Hair” dudes, I figure a slight scowl in their direction is an appropriate response.

3. If you’re definitely going to win.

If you’re 6’5 and 350 pounds and the Kevin Hart doppelganger at the bar calls your girl a bad name, he’s actually putting you in a no-win situation. You can’t put your hands on him, cause you’ll be a lame for fighting a dude half your size. But, you can’t not do something either.

My advice? Just pull out your dick, with your arms extended outward in the “Ta-Da!” pose.Hopefully this’ll shame him into silence. (This also has obvious backfire potential, but you have to do something, right?)

4. If you’ve been wanting to break up with her for some time, but haven’t had the opportunity or guts to do it.

Usually, men in this predicament try to sabotage the relationship by cheating and hoping he’ll get caught. But, why do that and expose her to all types of STDs? Just let her get disrespected in front of you, and let her get mad enough at you that she ends it. Now, you’ve rid yourself of a problem and you saved her from syphilis. It’s a win win.

5. If you’re busy.

It’s not your fault she picked the 4th quarter of game seven of the NBA finals to get disrespected. She needs to learn that if she wants a good defense, she needs better timing.

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • afronica

    If Shonda had given Harrison something else to do besides wear gingham fiercely, he wouldn’t be ouchea looking for trouble. Yeah, I said it.

    • JayIzUrGod

      Shots fired

      • afronica

        Shots with love, hon. Constructive criticism. Shonda, holla if ya hear me.

        • JayIzUrGod

          Hehe ever the pacifist

    • Sigma_Since 93

      But that gingham is tight……

      • afronica

        Mmmhmm, shole is. Why is he yummy and messy, #doe? Why, Sway? Why?

        • Sigma_Since 93

          I could give two tootise rolls about Mr Short! I’m looking at the impeccable gingham, suit, tie, and braces combinations!!

          • afronica

            Depends on the woman, I know. But a good suit and some snappy accessories, whoo! *fans self vigorously*

            • Sigma_Since 93

              I’m ’bout that suit and tie life!!

    • BreezyX2

      He really is the throw away character. At least Quinn shows up each week and makes us all wish she would just die already.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        DOWN VOTE!!!!

      • Soula Powa

        Give Shonda a minute. I’m sure she’s coming back to deliver the bomb back story for Mr. Short. Ya know, if his character lives long enough.

        • BreezyX2

          BOL…if he lives long enough doe?!??! Shonda bet not be offering the coloreds :)

    • mochazina

      #troof

    • basilblues

      i didn’t know that he had such a long history of fighting and especially with his wife. right now he’s reminding me of Little Walter in Cadillac Records. Just can’t get it together.

      • afronica

        That’s the thing. I’m making light of this, but his history ain’t funny at all. I had no idea he had multiples run-ins with the law for assault/fighting. And domestic violence? I’m really surprised.

      • pls

        he broke someones mouth before. literally split dude’s gums a few years ago.

        • basilblues

          how have i not heard about these incidents?? that’s very troubling. i would’ve never imagined him doing that.

    • ForeverCC

      i saw him on arsenio hall talking about a single he’s supposed to be releasing soon. maybe he’s been hanging around chris brown too long #stomptheyard #literally #hefighttoomuch

      • afronica

        Lawdt please no. Here’s hoping he and Chris stay in their respective corners.

    • panamajackson

      I feel like they have to be waiting for the right time to bring him in for the kill. Either that or he pissed her off and she’s going to kill him off soon via the crazy terrorist ex gf/f*ckbuddy.

  • nillalatte

    Mr. Short has a ‘short’ temper it appears. I wonder if he’s overcompensating for other ‘short’ issues? Where is Freud when you need him?

    • ratchet d-Ibaka

      Girl, you ain’t never lied. Short men stay fighting, for what me know no. Lord help them. TD Jakes needs to remember them in his prayers. Or TB Joshua needs to lay hands on this one.

      By the way Obsidian, I have peer reviewed stats on this one! No lie, no lie, no lieieieieieieieieie!!

      • Obsidian Files

        @Ms. Ratchet:

        Evidently not, I’m afraid; Mr. Short is 5’10″ – quite the average height for an American male, per what it states about him via Google search.

        As for your bigoted remarks; I offer the following for further study:

        http://supportfortheshort.org/

        O.

        • ratchet d-Ibaka

          I knew you would come through! I can always count on you. Google is a liar, Instagram is a liar!

          Let me check the support group article.

          • Obsidian Files

            @Ms. Ratchet:
            Why would Google (or Instagram, who I didn’t mention) lie? By all accounts, Mr. Short is indeed 5’10″ tall.
            Please explain?
            Thanks
            O.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      What’s so funny about this is that some dude who is short is going to say something about this- you know- a short dude having a short temper.

      *insert Napoleon reference*

      • afronica

        Here’s what I wonder, though. Do you think short men get tried more than tall men? Like taller guys push around shorter guys more because they think they can? You may not know about that life since you’re a #longtall.

        • Joel

          As VSB’s (semi-)resident short guy, I won’t say that we get tried more often, but I have been in situations where I felt like I had to work twice as hard as a taller man in a similar situation just to be respected. “Working twice as hard” doesn’t necessarily mean trying to brawl everyone, however.

          • Obsidian Files

            @Joel:

            Rickson Gracie, one of the world’s best unarmed combtants and martial artists, stands at 5’10″ – what would be considered the American average height for a male.

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickson_Gracie

            I would like to suggest you consider investigating Asian Martial Arts, in particular Aikido, and its schools of thought concerning one’s “Ki” or life force energy; it is this, what some would say, “aura” that others pick up about you or anyone else. Learning how to project this “out” is what makes a “Big Man” or not…regardless of physical size…
            O.

            • Joel

              Thanks for the suggestion, but I personally don’t need martial arts at this point in my life, aside from possibly the fringe benefit of getting in better shape.

        • Epsilonicus

          Yup. You get tested more because dudes think that the smaller guy will lose out.

          • afronica

            If a guy’s flexin’ to impress, stands to reason he’d pick an easier target. It reminds me of people who stunt on their waiter or waitress. Kind of an obvious and classless tactic.

          • Obsidian Files

            @Mr. Eps:
            Yesterday if you will kindly recall, I specifically mentioned a number of world-class martial artists. Here are their heights:

            Jeff Imada 5’6″

            Dan Inosanto 5’6″

            Remy Presas’ height isn’t listed, but given his racial/ethnic background we can reasonably assume it’s not that far off from the above-mentioned Men

            Alexander The Great stood at 5’7″, according to historical sources

            “Judge me by my size do you? And well you should not – for the Force is my ally; and a powerful ally it is.”
            -Yoda

            O.

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

          I’ve seen instances where it has happened to short dudes, and then there’s instances where short dudes have a tendency to be doing four much (Yes, I said doing four much- shout out to Ras Kass).

          • afronica

            I’ve seen both, too.

      • Obsidian Files

        @PA:

        Actually, the so-called “Napoleon Complex” is a massive misnomer and the result of a rather effective propaganda campaign on the part of the British against the French; more here:

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon_complex

        O.

    • Obsidian Files

      @Ms. Nilla:
      If I may, Freud isn’t called for here; a simple Google search, will do.
      Mr. Short is 5’10″ – the average height for American males.
      You were saying…?
      O.

  • JayIzUrGod

    A man with baby hands can knock someone out just by sucker punching them? This is news to me.

    Uh..I’m not fighting unless this is a life or death situation. Or unless someone is blatantly disrespectful for no reason. But I do have a question.How often, before a fight is the answer, does the situation involve her pet peeve being the problem, rather than true disrespect? I find a lot of women want their man to back them up through any crazy shenanigans they come up with. If the McDonald’s lady wants to sock the sh i t out of you for getting snappy about your Diet Coke, not only will I not help you if she socks you, I will laugh when she spits in your Diet Coke.

    I can deal with a guy staring at her t i ts. I can’t deal with him trying to touch them. But that’s different when she’s throwing her t i ts in his face.

    • Sahel

      Hmm,so you date women who throw them boobs into faces….

      • JayIzUrGod

        Nope. But i have seen it done before. A stabbing occured afterwards.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      “How often, before a fight is the answer, does the situation involve her pet peeve being the problem, rather than true disrespect? I find a lot of women want their man to back them up through any crazy shenanigans they come up with.”

      And if the man doesn’t back them up on the craziness, they will either call him weak, dump him or put him in situations where he has no other choice but to fight. How do I know this? I used to work around a lot of women, so I saw things like this ALL THE TIME!

      • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

        The problem is that the women are afraid of the concept expressed in a Musiq Soulchild song:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zlL-_nFLUo&feature=kp

        • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

          But but, I love that song. You gon have to break this concept down as it relates to fighting lol

          • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

            I’m saying that the girl is afraid for settling for the love of someone who isn’t willing to do ANYTHING for her. She’ll feel that the love is somehow cut-rate or insufficient, but will have to do for now.

      • JayIzUrGod

        And I’ve been that guy before. Granted now i know i was just dwaling with the wrong type of woman, but i still find people expect that you should always pick their side in a situation, even when thwy are just plain wrong.

        That ain’t right.

        • afronica

          Querstion: Do you find that more women are this way than men? I’ve dated guys who really expected me to be down with their foolishness. And there often seems to be that one guy in a group of guys whose stuff is just not together. He often seems to end up in situations that the other guys have to bail (pun intended) him out of.

          • JayIzUrGod

            I’m starting to realize this is just a universal thing, where people expect stupidity to be understood

            • afronica

              Maybe, maybe not. I was just wonderin’ out loud.

              • JayIzUrGod

                You and me both, so great minds think alike

    • Smoke

      It ain’t about hand size, it’s about accuracy. Whether you got ham fists or baby knuckles, hit somebody in that sweet spot on the chin or jaw hard enough and they’re going to sleep.

  • Sahel

    Only fight if you have a good exit strategy or proper back up. Random club battles don’t make sense if you are past 24. Just ask puffy and J lo

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      *cues “Gimme Three Steps” by Lynyrd Skynyrd*

  • One

    This might be my favorite one so far. I’m 6’6 450 pnds with extensive combat training in h2h. My ex went around LOOKING for trouble just so she call me over to handle it. She’s call me at work because some dude got loud at a traffic light.

    • Geneva Girl

      I notice that she’s your EX. Smart man.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      Is your ex a short girl? Because that’s usually who does these kinds of things, LOLOL!!

      • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

        DOWNVOTE! (HMPH!)

        • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com/ Ricky

          Personally speaking, women my height or taller have NEVER been the ones that have attempted to start any altercation. That 5’4″ and below though . . .

          • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

            DOWNVOTE FOR YOU, TOO!

            • camilleblue

              Lol

          • BreezyX2

            DOUBLE DOWNVOTED!!!

          • Sigma_Since 93

            Those short, short women were trained in the KGB school of stealthy take downs; they can kick you in the shins, punch the family jewels in broad daylight without anyone knowing.

            • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

              And don’t forget about my preference for machetes.

              • Sigma_Since 93

                You’ve been in Florida too long!

          • Epsilonicus

            Agreed. Out of all the women I know who fight, they are all under 5’4

            • afronica

              *sure she will regret this*
              Anyone know how tall AP is?
              *ducks, runs and keeps running*

              • Epsilonicus

                She prolly like 5 foot even lol

                • afronica

                  *runs through the room, whispering*
                  if that

                • h.h.h.

                  5 foot and 1/12s.

                  you know how shor Smurfs like to do

        • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

          Hey, PA is a man after my own heart: a tall, dark skinned libertarian with a healthy distrust for short women. He’s more moderate than I. I’m afraid of court cases caused by short women, as you may find out with a bit too much liquor in my system.

          • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

            I will hold my tongue on that. I’m sure you know how good it feels being height-profiled in brown skin.

          • Sahel

            No,i banned any libertarian exposes from Todd. Until the Libertarians form a party and form a government they remain a theory.

        • h.h.h.

          #NapoleannaComplex

          • Sahel

            ahahahaha,FINISH HER

          • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

            Et alors? Je n’ai jamais peur! If I’ma be Napoleanna and all. lol

            • Medium Meech

              Le chat est sous la table!! That’s all the french I remember. Just thought I would share.

              • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

                Miaou!

              • basilblues

                non non…le chat est sur la chaise. le souris est sous la table. et le singe est sur la branche. ….any eddie izzard fans..?

                • Medium Meech

                  where do you think I learned that from?

                  • basilblues

                    c’est chouette! well i was hoping so : ) usually when i ask people if they like eddie izzard i’m met with blank stares

            • h.h.h.

              *looks up what @dtafakari:disqus said*

              *signs up for french lessons on the duolingo app* lol

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

          You know I’m telling the truth!!!!

          • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

            I know NO SUCH THING, PA! HMPH! I’m highly offended.

            • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

              I’m sorry to offend you, but this is something I’ve noticed over the years. It made me realize the real reason as to why some women who are short prefer tall men. Quite a few of them openly admitted to this.

      • BreezyX2

        DOWNVOTED!!!

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

          Aroo?! Come on Breezy!

          • Sahel

            She must be under 5’4

      • Lea Thrace

        Shots fired! Short people stay fighting!

        • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

          I’MA FIGHT YOU, TOO, LEA! I AIN’T SKURRED!

          • Lea Thrace

            Proving mine and PA’s theory correct. Ladies and Gents of the Jury, I rest my case.

            I love shorties though. They are the perfect height for me to rest my elbow on. Bwahahaha.

            • dmcmillian72

              @leathrace:disqus, I do this to my LS…who is 5′ 10″ (I’m only 5′ 4.5″)…all the time. She stays looking down at me like, “Really, Bish?! o_0″ Lol!

          • afronica

            #CAPS #CAPS #CAPS

            • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

              who you fitna tryyyyyyyy? lol

    • Freebird

      ” I’m 6’6 450 pnds with extensive combat training in h2h. ”

      I’d start fights and call you too.

      • afronica

        I can’t even imagine what that looks like. Mah goodness.

        • Lea Thrace

          I’m saying. Did you get a little chill up your spine like I did? I immediately picture a mountain. With a face. lol.

          • afronica

            Hate to objectify but *sheepishly* yes.

            • Obsidian Files

              Nah. Not at all as imtimidating as it sounds…if you know where and when to hit…
              O.

              • ratchet d-Ibaka

                O_o!! You better edjumacate. I rather like this side of you a lot.

                • Sahel

                  Show him don’t tell him

                  • ratchet d-Ibaka

                    Phakk outta here!

                • Obsidian Files

                  @Ms. Ratchet:
                  It’s all about soft tissue, darlin’…
                  O.

                  • ratchet d-Ibaka

                    Mmmmmmmhh!!!!

      • One

        Lol I try to stay out of stuff now. Moreso I avoid people who go looking for trouble.

        • Freebird

          same here bro.

      • ratchet d-Ibaka

        Lmao, Freebird! I’d stay talking mad shid too.

    • Sahel

      Which discipline of hand to hand if i may ask

      • One

        No problem. MCMAP and Krav Maga. I started learning Judo and some Muy Thai when I was younger but my height and size made the kicks kinda tricky. So I focused on grappling, strength and striking.

        • http://tripsixes.com/about/ Trip

          NOPE. We’re all good here lol.

          Nice well rounded skills though.

        • Freebird

          “Krav Maga”

          im about to start a class in about a month and i am very excited about the carnage. you’re dangerous though. stay peaceful.

          • Obsidian Files

            Krava Maga’s good; the Israelis know their stuff. Personally, I’m a fan of the good ole Sweet Science, coupled with my own blend of FMA/Kali, KFM, Greco-Roman style wrestling, a dash of Aikido/Aki-Jiu-Jistu, and single stick Escrima for my cane. Most of the basics of any of these can be learned solo.
            O.

            • Freebird

              *notes taken*

              thanks to some caring OGs when i was a wee bit ive trained a little in the ol sweet science, dying art. greco-roman…prepares you well for what a lot of street fighting really is.

              • Obsidian Files

                @Freebird:

                I’ve written a bit about this sometime back; here’s a few links:

                http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com/entry/133944/

                http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com/entry/132388

                http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com/entry/66933

                As for GRW goes…yea. My personal preference is NOT to go the grappling route, for the simple reason that you raise the chances of getting injured yourself; “punch and get out/stick and move” is my preferred method. But the reality of life out on the bricks is that you have to be prepared to grapple an opponent, and often it will NOT be pretty like you see in the flicks. Even the more “realistic” ones. You have to know a few GRW moves, it’ll make the difference between you walking away from it, and…not.
                O.

        • Sahel

          The kicks do get harder as one ages. You are good to focus on grappling and striking..but i detest krav maga,i find the grappling tactics too obtuse. I went for ninjitsu,the holds are sublime

          • One

            I considered ninjitsu but I found that the holds, strikes, flips and redirections work better if you have short limbs. They’re meant to happen in very tight space and if you’re my height, you’re at a disadvantage. What’s more is that they rely on angles and leverage as opposed to power. I have power, Tons of it. Krav Maga allows for sweeping, broad thrusts which take full advantage of my strength. I keep my technique sound so what I lack in acute strikes, I make up for in sheer force.

  • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

    Sucker punching is some sucker sh t period, you not ready to square up then you need not be tryna fight.

    • http://tripsixes.com/about/ Trip

      I’ll counter that by saying you better not invade personal space without being ready to duck/block. I’m no fighter, but people shouldn’t physically intimidate without mentally being ready. Nobody is ringing a bell in these streets. Fair fights are only on TV.

    • veryaveragebrotha

      There’s no such thing as a sucker punch in a street fight..and if you don’t understand that, you have no business being out in the streets.

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

        This wasn’t a fight, dude said something slick, turned around and then got hit now if you say dude had no business turning his back to someone he disrespected that’s another story.

        • veryaveragebrotha

          I’m not sure what you define ‘fight’ as, but by the legal and English definition, this was most certainly a fight. The fact that one guy didn’t see the first hit coming, or never had a chance to strike back, doesn’t negate the fact that it was a fight, it’s just a fight that he lost. That is the nature of a street fight.
          The important thing to remember is that a street fight is not a match fighting (e.g boxing, mma) or a ‘duel’ there is no bell signalling the beginning of violence and there is certainly no obligation to let someone know that you intend to swing (in fact, that’s a pretty silly thing to do). This is why there is no such thing as a sucker punch in a street fight.

      • Obsidian Files

        @VAB:
        I respectfully disagree; while I definitely understand where you’re coming from, the plain truth of it is that people can and often do get attacked by surprise (read: ambushed) all the time. Of course, the antidote, at least in part, to all of this, is to constantly be aware of your surroundings and to “watch your six”. But, yea, you CAN be “got” out there on the bricks. If you ain’t careful.
        O.

  • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

    That #3 is the truth. I’m not trying to get shot up by some crazy dude with a Napoleon complex and burners. Nah suh! My life is more important than that.

    Also, with #1, I think that’s directly applicable to the Columbus Short situation. I get the feeling that she isn’t completely right herself. Dude already has 3 separate cases for whipping your tail. That means there are likely 10 or 11 different situations that somehow didn’t make it to the police. And apparently she was shook enough at one point to seriously contemplate divorce. All of that said, is that the type of dude you want to tell about sh*t you randomly started in a restaurant? I’m not absolving Columbus Short on this one, but homegirl isn’t exactly a candidate for canonization either.

    I don’t do fights at this age. Unless there’s a serious threat to life, liberty and property (and no, being called out your name doesn’t qualify for any of the above), let it rock and embrace your inner Kevin Rudolf. Ya dig!

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      “Dude already has 3 separate cases for whipping your tail. That means there are likely 10 or 11 different situations that somehow didn’t make it to the police. And apparently she was shook enough at one point to seriously contemplate divorce. All of that said, is that the type of dude you want to tell about sh*t you randomly started in a restaurant?”

      *cues “It’s A Set Up” by Gang Starr*

    • SuperStrings

      The little dudes are always the ones…

  • Sigma_Since 93

    I thought his wife was leaving him?? I’m not trying to throw blows to defend Mrs. SS93 if she’s planning to pack up / packed up and taken all the New Edition cds.

    • camilleblue

      They filed for divorce. Then reconciled. Then he two-pieced her.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        Ewwww. How come the two-piece didn’t make the news? Was I under a rock?? How come Shonda hasn’t had B16 deal with him? Isiah got the hook for less.

        • camilleblue

          Me no know. *shrugs* I don’t watch scandal.

          • Obsidian Files

            @Ms. CamilleBlue:
            Good for you! You have restored my faith in (certain) Sistas…
            :)
            O.

      • panamajackson

        This shouldn’t have made me laugh out loud, but it did. And I feel terrible about that.

        • camilleblue

          Dammyt, now you made me laugh.

    • Rachmo

      Mrs. SS93 wouldn’t be that cold to take away New Edition

      • Sigma_Since 93

        I’d have to tell her to cool it now……………

        • camilleblu

          Or would you say *Is this thee ennnd*??

          • Sigma_Since 93

            If she didn’t *cool it now………* I’d have to say *Girl I’m leaving you again……..*

            • camilleblu

              But I think you’d change your mind….. but you’d have to call *Mr telephone man* and tell him “there’s something wrong with my line” cuz when you dial your #baebae’s number, you get a click every time.

              • Sigma_Since 93

                Nah, she’ll be calling to say *Bring back the memories* I’ll agree only if she’ll agree to *tighten it up* Can’t be out ‘chea trying to leave me and take my cds……….

                • camilleblue

                  To which you’d say..*candy gurl…you ARE my world…love so sweet, you’s a special treat…I NEED IT NEED IT NEED IT NEED IT NEED IT EVERYDAY*

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

    I’m going to approach this topic from a different angle:

    One thing I noticed these days is how there are women out here in the dating world that make it a point to have their man actually fight for them. They don’t mean that in a figurative sense, but in a literal sense- as in go out there and put the paws on someone.

    I’ve actually spoken to quite a few women (and a few guys who had the unfortunate experience of dealing with said women) and they have stated that it makes them feel special when someone defends their honor- that is, whatever is loosely defined as “honor”. One guy told me that after he caught his ex cheating on him, she said to him: “If you love someone, you should fight for them”. He broke up with her on that same day.

    I wanted to get to the bottom of the issue of why these women found this attractive to them. The answer is plain and simple, really. It all boils down to self-esteem issues- that plays a large part into situations like this. They may have come from a world where they have experienced two things: [censored comment] and [censored comment]. Because of that, they feel that kind of behavior is all they know and want to see.

    As much as I want to think this is fantasy, this is a sad reality in current times.

    • Sigma_Since 93

      Could this be a residual Scandal effect?? Do Kerry and Shonda have these women out here really saying “earn me” to dudes?

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        I don’t know, man…but I will say it’s been going on before “Scandal” came on the air.

        • Sigma_Since 93

          I don’t know PA, it’s seems to have lead to a call to action in female ranks.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

            I hope that isn’t the case, however, the media has been known to be a powerful influence- be it right or wrong, Sigma.

      • Joel

        I think some women have been saying this (either directly or through their actions) long before Scandal.

        • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

          In my experience, the likelihood of a woman saying “earn me” is directly related to the likelihood of a woman thinking “I’m worth a $1.05, and 80 cents on a discount rack…on a good day.”

          • Joel

            And this is why men need not deal with such women.

      • Sahel

        So women in the US want you men to risk jail or a stabbing to prove love.West Side story lol

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Excellent point on the self-esteem. If a woman feels that poorly about herself that you constantly have to prove it, the only winning strategy is to walk away. She can only improve her esteem by working on herself.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        The problem is that it never works that way. A lot of women in this day and age feel that it’s a man’s job to boost their self esteem and, in some cases, cater to their ego. These two things are a deadly combination when in the mind of a woman with an axe to grind- ask me how I know…

    • Tentpole

      Also these are the same women who end up getting their azzes wipped by the same men they want to defend them.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        Sad but true…and they are surprised when the man hits them- despite the fact that everyone saw it coming from a mile away!

    • dmcmillian72

      “…two things: [censored comment] and [censored comment]. Because …”

      Ummm… Am I supposed to get what this means from context clues (that I CAH_LEAR_LEE missed), or did the administrators/moderators censor them out due to being too explicit/illicit? I have no idea what I was supposed to read there…

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        I kept it censored on purpose. The reason being is that some people take issue with the terminology I use instead of paying attention to the point I was making.

        • dmcmillian72

          Aaahhh… Gotcha, Homeboy! See what I did there? :-) Anyway…

          Okay, let me get my imagination pistons firing and think about it some more. Just finished lunch…the -itis has me in its grip. Lol!

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

            Not the itis!!! Didn’t watching The Boondocks teach you anything about that? LMAO!!!

            • dmcmillian72

              Lol! Speaking of… I need to re-watch the Boondocks. Thanks for the reminder, PA.

  • Aly

    It seems like Columbus just likes to fight, period. He wasn’t trying to protect his wife; h*ll, he’s been arrested for hitting HER before, along with a couple other people.

    As far as a man fighting for me, I agree with Champ’s list. There’s a time to fight and a time to walk away.

    Off topic: Atlanta area folks (lurkers and out of town folks, too! *looks at bsweet*), the meetup is on Sat, April 5th at Loca Luna. Here’s my email address if you have any questions: alyson.powell1@gmail.com

    • LMNOP

      I did not know that. He hit his wife?

      • Aly

        Yup.

        ETA: Allegedly.

    • http://trulytafakari.com/ dtafakari

      Eaux yes.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      I’m going to show up and wait to see if people can pick me out in a crowd…

      *Muttley snicker*

      • SuperStrings

        The dude with all his motorcycle leathers on…man too easy. lol

        • Aly

          Exactly. Imma be out in the parking lot looking for his bike lol.

    • BreezyX2

      Aly: Can we depend on you for pictures from the ATL meet-up?

      • Aly

        Yes ma’am!

    • Lea Thrace

      What’s the timing of said meetup?

      • Aly

        Oops! 8:00pm

    • b sweet

      I agree 100% with this. I was thinking of the SATC episode where Charlotte thought she found her knight in shining armor because he always defended her honor,and then after the 4th fight she realized he just liked to fight.

      *Hey Aly!* My best friend from home is (supposed to be) coming in town the first week in April, so as of now I can’t. But I never know with her so I’ll keep you posted.

      • Aly

        Ok hon!

    • Sahel

      Thanks for the email address.hehehe

      • Aly

        You’d better not spam me Sahel ;)

        • Sahel

          Don’t you want spam all over your inbox ??

          • Aly

            *sigh* smh

            • camilleblue

              You can’t win this one Aly. Take the L.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

            *dirty joke alert*

            • Sahel

              No it aint

              • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                So you say…

                *sips tea*

                • Aly

                  Right. He knows exactly what he’s doing.

                  • Sahel

                    I thought you liked men who knew what they were doing…

                  • h.h.h.

                    He knows exactly what he’s doing.

                    #ThatsWhatSheSaid

                • Sahel

                  I do say. You and Aly just have questionable leanings if you see any dirty joke there.

                  • Lea Thrace

                    Cause we’ve all forgotten how much of an angel you really are right? :-D

                    • Sahel

                      You know this is unfair. I wrote that from a techie point of view,it’s not my fault P.A and Aly have dirty minds. They saw what they wanted to see,ink blots people,

    • dmcmillian72

      One of the semi-lurking Birmingham-ites checking in… That sounds like so much fun! I can’t make it though. :’( Got an invite earlier today that I accepted to an event on that day. Y’all have fun!!! Hopefully I can make the next one!