Five Things Guys Are Surprisingly Emo About

He will take care of you and shit, right after he checks the scale

Although the common stereotype is that women are the emo-est gender, anyone who’s ever spent any time around any man knows that there are certain common subjects — income, height, sexual prowess, fighting ability (or lack thereof), hair (or lack thereof), favorite sports teams, mamas. etc — that have the potential to turn us into walking, talking, slobbering Drake albums. Smart women do their best to avoid bringing up these potential sore spots, and very smart women use these sore spots to their advantage. (Seriously, I’d wager that at least 87% of all girlfriend/wife to boyfriend/husband digs intentionally meant to push buttons and/or hurt feelings have something to do with one of seven topics listed above. Ya’ll are some cruel motherf*ckers)

Yet, along with the aforementioned seven, there are a few more topics that we’re surprisingly self-conscious about; things that might not get us all emo if you criticize them, but, well, let’s just say they have a tendency to make us do the “Nah, it’s cool. Don’t worry about it” thing when we want you to know it wasn’t cool at all but don’t want to actually say it and have you think we’re all emo (even though we are)

Our weight

***Paraphrased convo between a female friend and I a few months ago***

Friend: “You know what I’ve been noticing lately? Ya’ll act like some teen girls sometimes about your weight. Ya’ll stay making self-depreciating comments about how much you weigh or how out of shape you are just to get us to be like “You look fine.”

Champ: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You need to stop dating dudes who drink pink Fanta and listen to old Tweet albums at night”

***Three weeks later with different friend***

Friend: “Why did you change shirts? I liked the other shirt.”

Champ: “I don’t know. I think it makes me look fat.”

Our sense of humor (or lack thereof)

The more I think about it, the more I think that our “funny” = women’s “unique.” Think about it: Just how ***gross generalization alert*** every woman thinks they’re the most unique, interesting, and uniquely interesting broad on the planet, we (men) all seem to think that we’re Richard f*cking Jeni. And yes, this includes me. You wouldn’t believe how many knock down, drag out debates I’ve had with girlfriends, dates, f*ck buddies, and sort-of, kind-of concubines about how funny I am.

The argument usually goes something like this:

Champ: “You claim I’m not as funny as I think I am, but I always make you laugh!!! Look, you’re even smiling right now!

Concubine: “I’m smiling because you’re a lame”

Champ: “Tomato, tomahto”

You know, I actually have a theory about this. I think that women think we’re funny if we’re just cool with or dating them, but once you’re in an actual relationship, it goes from “Haha. You crazy” to “You are so damn corny. The only women who laugh at your jokes are the ones who want to sleep with you. You put the N-O in Not Funny.”

Obviously, this theory can be interpreted as “women who like you and/or are interested in you will continue to laugh at your stupid-ass jokes and soothe your fragile ego until it’s established that you like them too and they don’t have to pretend that you’re funny anymore,” but if you dare interpret it that way, I’m banning you from VSB.

Our fashion sense

***Every woman who has ever received serious passive-aggressive emo-pushback when trying to convince her man that the velvet wifebeater and pinstriped blazer look wasn’t a good one is nodding her head in solemn agreement***

Our taste in music

***Every woman who has ever received serious passive-aggressive emo-pushback when telling her man that she thinks Wu-Tang is kind of stupid is nodding her head in solemn agreement***

Our friends

You know how ***gross generalization alert*** most women have frenemies — women they’re “cool” with but secretly hate with the heat of a thousand pairs of Delta thongs — and will spend a good amount of time ragging to you about everything from “that bitch’s pauperized weave” to “that bitch’s lame-ass status messages?” Of course you do, because ***gross generalization alert*** every. woman. does. this.

Thing is, the ubiquity of the frenemy makes them assume that we also have frenemies, and we’re also cool when they talk shit about our “triflin-ass friends.” Well, we don’t, and we’re not. Lemme put it this way: If a Black man is lucky enough to make it to three decades on Earth, he definitely doesn’t have any frenemies. Why? Because all the n*ggas with frenemies die before they’re 24!

Anyway, people of VSB: Can you think of any other subjects that we (men) are surprisingly emo about? Also, fellas, don’t let the ladies off the hook. Name some things you never thought they’d be self-conscious about even though they actually kind of are.

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

***Please bookmark your calenders for “Myth or Maybe” — a panel moderated by Panama and the homie Rahiel from Urban Cusp, taking place July 26th at the Washington Post building***

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    Ninjas get WAAAYYY too emo about sports teams, but nothing is worse than the cat who was a huge star in high school and/or college who never made it to the pros.

    • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

      Yes. I’ve almost let folk go for coming out of the side of their mouths about Miami (the Hurricanes).

      • Dignan

        I’m with you there. I’m from the ATL, and my best friend was from Minnesota. We ended up having to make a rule that neither of us was EVER allowed to mention the 1991 World Series.

        I’m still bitter to this day.

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          Touch ‘em all Kirby Puckett! You’ll never hit a bigger home run in your life! ;)

          • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

            That was Joe Carter. Kirby Puckett had the catch against the wall.

    • http://twitter.com/itztrizz617 Tristan

      Regular seasons last longer than some relationships only to see it ended by some lucky sideline throw by the same muhfugga that beat us the last time or LeBron going super saiyan….it hurts yo.

      • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

        DEAD @ trizz.
        JUST. PLAIN. DEAD.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “but nothing is worse than the cat who was a huge star in high school and/or college who never made it to the pros.”

      hey! i resent that!

      • Breezy

        Actually, there is. The cat who made it to the NFL and got hurt doing his rookie season. Dude has been walking around with an open wound for fifteen-leven years!

      • JessicaL

        I know you have no way of knowing, but ouch on the dead at 24 thing. My little brother passed away on the first of this month and he was only 24.

        • ashiri

          :( sorry for your loss.

          • JessicaL

            Thanks

  • whostolethesoul1

    underwear.

    • whostolethesoul1

      learned this purely by accident while on break at a conference. A very weird silence settled over the area after a heated moment of excited man-chatter about comfort.

      • Rewind

        Ehh…that’s not much different from when women talk about underwear.

        • whostolethesoul1

          but we don’t usually pretend we don’t care…

    • Clever Name Absence

      I found this to be true as well. I joked with a friend of mine about actually wearing birth control a.k.a tighty whities. I wondering how he’s doing . . .

      • Downsouth transplant

        I’m doing Just fine Thank you For asking! LOL

  • http://TalentedGeneration.com LegallySouthern1

    The chick they had a baby with back in HS. Cuz now he’s going around claiming all he smangs is “10s or better.” Ask him to explain HER and ninjas get wild emotional.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      I like to call that the Christopher Wallace syndrome. LULZ!

      • Rewind

        At least he had an excuse….Rahiem is full of shyte though.

    • http://twitter.com/itztrizz617 Tristan

      Chill, we all got blotches on our resume we want to forget.

      • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

        Amen

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        Church!

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        Agreed.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        I’m claiming I had too much Sigma Punch at the party.

      • demondog06

        I……i was young!……and i needed the money!……..

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “The chick they had a baby with back in HS. Cuz now he’s going around claiming all he smangs is “10s or better.” Ask him to explain HER and ninjas get wild emotional.”

      lol, sounds less like a “problem with men” than a “problem with a particular man”

  • Smarter

    So much troof.

  • eff yo couch

    things I get emo about:

    everything on the Champ’s list
    my daughter
    food
    sneakers
    lack of sex

    • Iceprincess

      Lol yup. Having dry-d*ck syndrome is the worst.

      • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

        I am convince dry d*ck syndrome is the cause of most of the male ranting on Twitter.

        • demondog06

          dry balls is the reason behind all the shootings in the chi this year…….

          • http://www.todisspits.blogspot.com MicTheMessenger

            I call shenanigans. Too many 16 yr olds with MULTIPLE kids for that.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      I have noticed a man’s mood seems to be directly related to the amount of chex he’s getting.

    • miss t-lee

      What Eff Yo Couch is back???
      Good to see ya round mayne!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      so they only made you do 6 months of the 2 year bid?

  • Dignan

    In regards to things I’m surprised that ladies get emo about:

    The other day I got in trouble because my lady wants to paint the outside of our house. I don’t want her to do that, and I was a little high, and I made the mistake of pointing out that everything of ours that she has painted came out looking horribly (which is an objectively verifiable fact), so we should just get professionals to paint the house.

    I received passive-aggressive pushback for the next 48 hours.

    • Around the Way Girl

      ” I don’t want her to do that, and I was a little high, and I made the mistake of pointing out that everything of ours that she has painted came out looking horribly”

      Lol one time I was a little high while shopping with my bf, and we went to a store that my bf thinks he likes to shop in. I spent the whole time talking about how everything in that store was gay. Everyone with a significant other should listen to that person if and when they’re a little high….that’s when the truth comes out.

      • JessicaL

        I love how you said he thinks he likes to shop there and not just a store he likes. Hilarious!

        • Around the Way Girl

          Lol he’s totally clueless about fashion, we’re still figuring out his style.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I do think that most folks get emo about things that they think they can do. Even if they suck at them. Some of us just can’t be honest with our selves.

  • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

    Being a Cancer, which is supposedly the emo sign, I may (or may not) have a lot to say here. I’ll try to stick to things that I would be or have been more sensitive about than most.

    Weight…specifically, lack thereof: I’m never going to be the big, muscular guy. I’m cool with that. However, if one talks about it in a clearly demeaning way I’m not going to take it well.

    Place of origin: I think I developed this when I was in undergrad. People always wanted to represent what city they’re from (the Dade/Duval thing will forever be a rivalry). Now I find myself defending Florida – and the south as a whole – against northerners who swear we’re crazy (FL) or country or backwards (everywhere else in the south).

    Sports teams: mentioned this in a reply, but Miami (Canes football) and UConn basketball are real spots for me. They lose, I’m turning from SportsCenter when their highlights come on. I just want to move on.

    Music: once my ex had the nerve to call what we refer to as “cityboy music” (electric funk, disco, certain Barry White efforts…pretty much the precursors to Miami bass) boring. I almost lost it – until I remembered that she’s from a place that will only be known for…um…Pat Summerall?

    As far as what ladies get emotional over, I would imagine the “usual suspects” would be hair (particularly style), intelligence, weight, and verboseness.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      “Weight…specifically, lack thereof: I’m never going to be the big, muscular guy. I’m cool with that. However, if one talks about it in a clearly demeaning way I’m not going to take it well.”

      As a fellow tall skinny guy with a violent temper, I say do what you gotta do- even if it means doing physical harm, LMAO!!

      • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

        I’ve gotten used to it, so there have to be extraordinary circumstances now. But I feel you, and I am one of those people who’d advise folks to be somewhere else when that button gets pushed.

    • Around the Way Girl

      “once my ex had the nerve to call what we refer to as “cityboy music” (electric funk, disco, certain Barry White efforts…pretty much the precursors to Miami bass) boring”

      With this one sentence, I understand why she’s an ex.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      hey Florida boy…can you explain the Dade/Duval rivalry? I don’t get it. Ain’t Duval where Jacksonville is? And doesn’t Jacksonville suck?

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        Jacksonville is OK. They say it has a smell but it smells fine to me. It’s part big city, part country as hell and big as hell. (I believe the biggest city in the US) Jville is the biggest, Dade thinks they’re the coolest, thus club rivalries always seems to break out- not violent fights usually, chant fights, LOL.

        • http://bcfhoney.com ericka

          Its birmingham alabama the biggest city in usa. The city keep eating smaller towns around it.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            Yeah, that’s about right. If Birmingham continues to expand the way it has, chances are Shelby County will not exist within the next ten years.

            * my sincerest apologies to all the people who stay in Calera, Alabaster and Pelham who had to hear that bad news, LMAO*

            • dmcmillian72

              I am sitting her CHEESING from all this Birmingham, AL love! :-) Thanks, Y’all! Where is Jay? I was expecting to see his response to this part of the comments.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “Jacksonville is OK. They say it has a smell but it smells fine to me. ”

          lol, this really cracked me up for some reason

      • Queenren

        HAY!!! I you trying to say that the I suck since I live in J-ville? (no dirty jokes please!) The only people allowed to say that Jacksonville sucks are the people that live there.

        • Queenren

          **Are

    • JessicaL

      +1 On the intelligence thing. My boyfriend called me a dumbass when we were arguing once. That was my first time everthat I actually wanted to punch the ish out of him. I broke his closet door just so I wouldn’t hurt him.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

    “***Every woman who has ever received serious passive-aggressive emo-pushback when telling her man that she thinks Wu-Tang is kind of stupid is nodding her head in solemn agreement***”

    But the thing is that most women don’t really listen to music like that. Women don’t take kindly to any music unless it’s sexually charged (See: Jodeci, R. Kelly, Plies, Silk, pre-Jehovah Witness conversion Prince), or if the artist is easy on the eyes. I’d like to believe otherwise, but history and reality says otherwise.

    I don’t expect women as a whole to listen to any to- or own for that matter- any albums by Wu-Tang, Gang Starr, M.O.P. or Pharoahe Monch. Drake, J. Cole, Future, 2 Chainz and T.I.? Absolutely.

    • bhillboy

      “Women don’t take kindly to any music unless it’s sexually charged.”- I never thought about it but that is very true. There goes my attempt to indoctrinate my new one on the merits of The Roots.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        I tried that back in 1996 to get my then-girlfriend Abigail into The Roots.
        Her response?
        “I don’t get it- do you have any Too Short?”

        • LadyLark

          Wow! What girls do YOU people know! I just got very EMO!

          • whostolethesoul1

            +800000000000000000000000000000000

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          I know quite a few women who have extensive recollections and appreciation for all things ignorant. And ignorantly hiphop, like Too Short.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            ..Or Luke and Kilo, if you’re from the South, LMAO!!!

      • SweetSass

        False.

        I have tons of “conscious hiphop”/protest music/headbanging punk/whimisical, introspective indie in my collections…

        And coincidentally… No Drake, Plies, TI, et. al.

        • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

          Hold up: when did T.I. get into the same category as people like Future, Plies, 2 Chainz and Bottle Thrower? They’re not even in the same zip code.

          In general, though, the women I’ve known have been more likely to listen to backpack and neo-soul and all than men.

          • Breezy

            Sorry PA…I love the Roots and my two favorite albums…Phrenology and Things Fall Apart. Loves this right here:

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qm7Xt2Qsjcg

          • LadyLark

            Exactly.

            • LadyLark

              That was at breezy.

          • AfroPetite

            I keep the Minstrel Show in constant rotation in the car, shower, everywhere! lol I’m sorry I have an unreal expectation that Little Brother may one day reconcile and get back together

            *sings* Me and you will nevah partttttttt!

            • Rewind

              You’re not the only one. Every time I see Foriegn Exchange, I keep yelling ” LB, LB ALL DAY”….but Phonte don’t hear me tho.

            • demondog06

              sweets, cool breeze, LL, and A-petite;
              you guys are the exception not the rule. the average chick knows nuthin’ about the roots let alone LB
              alot of the chicks i know if they listen to rap at all listen to nikki or some other strip club worthy ear vomit

              • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

                average chick or women under 25??
                age is a factor here.
                i know a HELLUVA lot more abour pharoche, roots and the artist formally known as mos def than 2 chainz and the like.
                my lil sis (25) COMPLETE opposite.

                • AfroPetite

                  Wait, I’m under 25 and I’d like to think that my musical tastes span a variety of genres and decades for that matter :-(

                  No one will let my generation live up to its potential greatness -___- *pours out Enfamil for the babies of 1990 and beyond*

                • ashiri

                  I’m just 20 but i LOVE The Roots, Malik Yusef, John Legend, SADE!!!, India Arie, Corinne Bailey Rae, etc etc (kinda typical, lol). I adore music from the 70s and 80s, and thanks to my brothers, I have an appreciation for Nas, Talib Kweli and the likes.

                  You wouldn’t find Drake on this girl’s iPod.

                  But I do need my dose of ratchet music! I call it my “workout” music lol

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            yeah. T.I. is definitely in the supremely legit rapper category. up there with any of the actually talented rap ninjas.

        • JessicaL

          This

      • kid video

        There goes my attempt to indoctrinate my new one on the merits of The Roots.

        Let me start some chit in here…

        To all the fans of The Roots…Whats your favorite album?

        Mine is Illadeph/Halflife…

        WHATS YOURS?

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          It’s a tie between “Illadeph Halflife”, “Things Fall Apart” and “Game Theory”.
          Have you ever noticed The Roots’ albums sound great on vinyl- except for “Undun”…what’s up with that, Def Jam?

          • kid video

            It’s a tie between “Illadeph Halflife”, “Things Fall Apart” and “Game Theory”.

            Never heard they’re music on vinyl…

            The opening instruments on “Clones” makes me wanna fight somebody.

        • LadyLark

          I popped 2 tapes of those when they came out. Cassette Tapes. Along with my Whut thee album and muddy waters tapes (Redman) and I’m a frickin lady.
          Lemme tuck my emo back in and answer the question: “Do you want more?!”

        • DQ

          Do You Want More will probably always be my favorite followed by Illadelph HalfLife and then Things Fall Apart. Really all their $h!t is fire.

          • whostolethesoul1

            too many people sleep on them, and therefore, they will end up on Unsung…

        • JAYmatic

          illadelph halphlife and things fall apart. I STILL bang respond/react and clones. For a while, every rhyme i wrote was off the clones beat, lol. Act too, the love of my life was a dope joint too.

          Illadelph was what made me conclude that black thought was(and is) one of the top 5 mcs in the game. And that was 96, lol. I copped that cd while i was stationed in korea and it definitely held me down while i was there, lol

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          Mine is Do You Want More, though my favorite roots songs are “Act Too (Love Of My Life)” and “What They Do”. Neither to be found on Do You Want More.

          Also, “act too (love of my life)” is one of my favorite hiphop beats ever. i actually love and am in love with that song. i get all emo over that song.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “To all the fans of The Roots…Whats your favorite album?”

          easily things fall apart. i think it’s one of the best hip-hop albums ever

        • demondog06

          Illadeph/Halflife…well actually i’m torn between that and things fall apart

          phrenology and game theory bored me to tears

          • demondog06

            oh! and do you want more was pure dopeness…i still lsten to this…..

            damn i’m gettin old……….

        • bhillboy

          The Game Theory got resequenced om my player and sounds way better now.

    • SweetSass

      Pitch blease, my current Pandora station is Dead Prez overlapped with Fugees and the Coup.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        Fugees? Dead Prez? The Coup? Who doesn’t listen to them? Those are easy- besides only 2520′s listen to them, LOL!
        Ever heard of Paris, X-Clan and Da Lench Mob? Try those on for size!

        • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

          PA you wanna talk about music I still jam to: NWA is still in heavy rotation in my car all day everyday (Got in trouble at work yesterday for bumpin F the Police too loud), DJ Quik, Sublime, Quincy Jones, and did I mention that Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik? Cuz its the joint

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            DJ Quik- underrated as hell. He still got joints. People were shocked when I listed his new one “The Book Of David” as one of the best albums of last year.

        • LadyLark

          Who don’t know about x-clan esp if they liked Nikki D. I think I was in Junior High school…

          • LadyLark

            …And that’s why I didn’t ‘memba that it wan’t Nikki D but Lin que…I just got EMO.

            Imma go get a _/ and listen to some dwele…

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          i don’t listen to dead prez or the coup. fugees of course.

          i like da lench mob but x-clan and paris weren’t that dope to me. paris had some dope records, real talk, but i woudlnt call myself a fan and i’m definitely not pulling out any albums by him…ever.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            Not even “Sleeping With The Enemy”? Come on, PJ!

        • SweetSass

          I’ll see that and raise you… Mos Def, Immortal Technique, McLyte, Dilated Peoples, Tribe Called Quest, Atmosphere, Jean Grae, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, and Brother Ali.

        • legitimate_soul

          Ahhhh, “The Devil Made Me Do It” Paris……those were the days. Remember when Paris put out Conscious Daughters? CD had a few videos on Rap City…

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            I love the Conscious Daughters. R.I.P. to Special K.
            Also, R.I.P. to KMG from Above The Law.

      • kid video

        Pitch blease, my current Pandora station is Dead Prez overlapped with Fugees and the Coup.

        I still got “Kill My Landlord” on cassette tape.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “Pitch blease, my current Pandora station is Dead Prez overlapped with Fugees and the Coup.”

        glad i found the one person on earth who still listens to dead prez. i was looking for you for a while

        • SweetSass

          I hadn’t listened since the Bush years…. but hey, Mitt Romney inspires the militant side in me. Cyclical ‘n shit.

        • bhillboy

          I still beat RBG- They even got the “Hell Yeah” remix with Jay Z

    • Beautifullyhuman

      Wow PA! Are you trying to play us like that?? You should see my itunes library, cd collection and Pandora stations. Hell, last week Bhill Boy had to tell me who Future was because I had no clue.

      • Dignan

        I rebuke your decision to change your gravatar.

        • Beautifullyhuman

          Lol…Sorry hun. The black and white was kinda getting on my nerves.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        Oh yeah? We can go toe to toe on ITunes on errythang- well almost anything. I got country music on my sh*t, LMAO!!!

        • Beautifullyhuman

          I’ll up your country with scores and Cirque du Soleil soundtracks. Lol :-)

          *throws arms out like what*

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            F*ck it- you got me there, LMAO!!

    • legitimate_soul

      I do. I also know I am not the only VSS that does. I love Wu, Ghost, MF Doom (and all the characters), Kool Keith (and all the characters), Black Milk, Guilty Simpson, etc., etc.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        You got Black and Guilt? You gotta be from the D!

        • legitimate_soul

          ^Nope! California girl!…I also like the home state folk too.

      • DG

        For the sake of this argument, you and C-Notes don’t count…lol

        • legitimate_soul

          We count! LOL! We (C-Notes/E-sis) are not the only VSS sisters on here that like those artists. *looks for Miss T-Lee, NY2VA and the rest of the sisteren*

          • miss t-lee

            Thank you chica. You know what it is.

      • LeonieUK

        A VSS that likes Black Milk yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. He is just as good live.

      • Sula

        I’ll add J-Live, The Dynospectrum, Hyerogliphics and Hi-Tek… Sh!t, I even have some Lootpack on there… :)

    • Inqueerie

      Umm, scuse me? *these ninjas have made me completely PAUSE Grimm to respond to this here nonsense*

      First album I ever owned = UTFO Select

      (Half you clowns on here don’t even who or what the phuck that is. The same names are in constant rotation on this blog, T.I., Nas, Jay, etc. Buncha youngins in here swingin from vines and couldn’t find a root if it hit em on their bare azz, fresh out tha shower!)

      In high school, a punk azz, no ballin, shorts above his knees wearin piece of *#@! ex boyfriend of mine stole the following CDs from me and sold them at the Warehouse:

      Guru=Jazzmatazz
      Wu-Tang = C.R.E.A.M (I had the promotional cd single, you know, the one with the lil hole in the top lefthand corner to let you know it came straight from the label/)
      The Pharcyde = Bizarre Ride
      the Liks (yeah, tell me what this means)= 21 and over
      Black Sheep = Non-Fiction
      Ghetto Boys = We Can’t Be Stopped
      Pete Rock and CL Smooth = the main ingredient
      EPMD – Business never personal (or might have been Business As Usual, hell, it WAS the 90′s)

      In my car’s CD player right now is a burned hip hop CD featuring Black Star, Jean Gray (8th is my shyt!), Dead Prez, Mos, Common, etc. Hell, I even have a bit of PRT on there just for good measure.

      Stop making sweeping generalizations about people. Do I like “after the midnight hour” type music? Yes, but so does everyone on else on here. That doesn’t mean I don’t listen to other stuff, and I can assure you I’m diggin a hell of alot deeper in the crates than you are daring to go!

      • legitimate_soul

        Agreed. I got some of those same albums. Some I had on cassette and CD! LOL!

        • whostolethesoul1

          i still need to “convert” an a**load of cassettes…i popped a no vaseline-ice-cube mixtape and nearly cried…

          • legitimate_soul

            I’m getting verklempt just thinking about your popped tape. Ain’t nothin’ in the world like some vintage Cube!

      • Beautifullyhuman

        “Buncha youngins in here swingin from vines and couldn’t find a root if it hit em on their bare azz, fresh out tha shower!)”

        I’m sorry, but this sh*t is funny!! LMAO. Along with your Wharehouse reference. The good ole days when there were actual music stores. Now everything is digital. Smh. There’s nothing like digging through the displays looking for music. Le sigh. Such is life…*raises fist at Steve Jobs while typing on my iphone*

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        “That doesn’t mean I don’t listen to other stuff, and I can assure you I’m diggin a hell of alot deeper in the crates than you are daring to go!”

        Bring it on pimpn’- I got stuff from all genres going all the way back to 1950. I’m loaded with 1000 cassettes, 500 records and 2000 CD’s. Even stuff that’s rare and hard to find- I ain’t new to this, I’m true to this!

        For the record, I’m well aware of who UTFO is…remember I’m almost 40, LMAO!

        Nice shout out about the EPMD though. I was more partial to “Business As Usual” as opposed to “Business Never Personal”- even though I liked both.

        • Beautifullyhuman

          Can I come play in your music collection? Pretty pleaaasseee with a cherry on top.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            Yes, Beautifullyhuman, but don’t tell anyone I let you do this- people are gonna want me to burn them CD’s and sh*t.

            • Breezy

              *strong side eye @ beautifullyhuman and PA*

              • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

                Do you know how many people like to go through my stuff, Breezy? Too many! I had to stop my own family members from walking off with my sh*t, so what does that tell you?

              • BeautifullyHuman

                @ Breezy

                It’s a music thing…lol. Like Inqueerie stated, he has an Amoeba store.

        • Inqueerie

          Ok, well the 50′s *mumbles, groans and shrugs* You got me there sir!

          I know some stuff though, and have a few (as compared to the apparent bootleg Amoeba you seem to runnin out of your garage) joints in my library. Mom’s has most of that stuff, but this is why I know it. <<<My attempt to save face.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            *DEAD* @ “bootleg Amoeba”!!!

        • legitimate_soul

          Come on, Cletus! *just talking mess* I got DJ dreams and used to go to records stores with vinyl with my ex for fun, lol!

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            Don’t start none, won’t be none, LOL!!

      • Around the Way Girl

        I love you.

      • JAYmatic

        I beg to differ. Most chics (and by most, i mean like 90%) arent going to listen to utfo…even those that are old enough to remember them. Much less make an active attempt to listen to them even now. Im a straight certified crate digger (close to 5grand tapes/records/cds), and have seen it happen too many times. I put on a schooly d record…she looks at me stupid, lmao. This is why i understood dudes comment. By in large, if it aint sexually charged r/b or if the dude isnt easy on the eyes, then he chances are, a chic isnt really gonna be into him like that.

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          “Im a straight certified crate digger (close to 5grand tapes/records/cds),”

          Respect to a fellow crate digger!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          my name is Panama and I agree with this comment.

          JAYmatic 2026

        • http://www.shesoflyy.wordpress.com Muze

          i just need it to be pleasant and have some sort of slight melodic undertones. i think that’s far more important than how the rapper looks or if it’s sexually charged. i like music. not hardcore beats. i’ve heard “real” hip hop that i like (mostly courtesy of Humble One) and could rock with. but when it comes to those beats that are only hard hitting drums with little or no “flow” to the production, i just… it just doesn’t make me groove. like, i feel like i should be in a dark hoodie in an alley encircled in a rap battle or something. lol. regardless of what he’s saying. i need finesse. that’s all. doesn’t make one taste in music better or worse. just makes them different. and for the record… i like(d) wu tang! …except the songs that are waytoohard. lol

        • demondog06

          the association legion of crate diggers union endorses this comment

      • bhillboy

        Dude- Okay. You’re old. We get it. But alot of the stuff from the 80′s was primitive. I mean it did come out 25 years ago. The sound was different. Production quality and clarity aren’t what they were in the 90′s. And just for the record, I saw UTFO in concert in 1985. And I went to the concert with a dude from up the street. Not with my parents. I stood on the third row. Had an in concert conversation with Kurtis Blow and caught a WBLZ T-shirt that I had to slam this chick for when she caught one end and I another. The 90′s were vastly superior to the 80′s.

        • bhillboy

          Did anyone notice that Slaughterhouse was never mentioned- As I stated last week, Slaughterhouse is talented but not entertaining. Even Joe’s chick thought so- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gafQcYlzLpg&feature=plcp

        • JAYmatic

          Its not that I’m (that) old….its that Ive seen it happen enough to know what time it is. Yeah…there may be 1 or 2 chics who will be a “on it like that” out of 100 that you meet, but by in large, its just not common enough to make a real difference. It doesnt have to be a UTFO record…It could be an OC record, or a Planet Asia record…or a Cassanova Rudd and Supaluva Cee record or even an M.O.P. record……chances are, if the song isnt in heavy or moderate radio rotation, then most (like 90%) of the women you enocunter will have NO idea about it.

    • http://invisiblemannakedcity.wordpress.com/ Invisiblemannakedcity

      I’ve never found a woman who likes Wu-Tang. I just put that in the category of “guys music” kind of like Cold Play is just for the ladies.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        They got Coldplay, but we still have Radiohead!

        • Inqueerie

          So, if it works like that…

          @Team I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar, we are claiming Tricky, Bjork, Massive Attack, Kruder and Dorfmeister, Thievery Corporation, and anything else in that vein.

          Claiming any classic rock that involves Cream, Zepplin, Deep Purple, Bad Company, or anything in that vein.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            “Claiming any classic rock that involves Cream, Zepplin, Deep Purple, Bad Company, or anything in that vein.”

            As long as the dudes get to keep Steely Dan, Mountain, AC/DC and Billy Squier!

          • Around the Way Girl

            Sh!t, it just got better when I thought it couldn’t! You are officially my favorite.

        • Around the Way Girl

          You can’t claim Radiohead! I know more women who love them than men. They came to my town recently, and the only friends of mine who wanted to go see them with me were women.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

            Do women claim them before or after “The King Of Limbs” (WTF was that, by the way?)

            • Around the Way Girl

              Lol ew, definitely before! I was disappointed in them though, because they mostly played their new material (yawn) and I had been excited to hear the earlier stuff. You know, from back when they were dope.

        • mena

          Went to both concerts recently. Was more impressed by Coldplay. Radiohead is kinda out there for my taste.

      • Inqueerie

        You found one! Oh, yes…and I love love loooooved me some Redman back in the day. Is it in constant rotation now? No, but Dare Iz a Darkside sure was, and is in my library now.

        Hmm…bout to play Rockafella rat now.

    • Crystal

      Doesn’t listen to sexually charged music unless dancing, which is basically never…anywho, I love J. Cole, Drake, XV, Nas, Jay-Z Reasonable Doubt, Tupac, and the old Lupe Fiasco. Own every single CD, mixtape, and etc….and I’m only 21, love real hip hop. But I do get hype to that ratchet stuff after class and work lol.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        “But I do get hype to that ratchet stuff after class and work lol.”

        You mean…ratchet stuff like this?:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHX6WvKDrLE

        • demondog06

          just……
          niggerdom at it’s finest

    • LeonieUK

      I brought the W.A.R album, I’m probably the only one but I don’t care.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

        I actually found a woman that listens to Pharoahe? The unicorn has been found, LMAO!!!

        • miss t-lee

          Make that 2 unicorns.

          • legitimate_soul

            +1

            • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

              get the #*ck up!
              +3

      • http://www.twitter.com/SoulaPowa Soula Powa

        The Hitman was #thatTrack on the W.A.R. album. I’d hit repeat so much on that and Assassins last winter. Can’t wait to see Pharaohe on tour!

    • Rewind

      Actually, take that back. It’s the mainstream woman who doesn’t listen to thought-provoking or hardcore music. But the other subsets of women…hell yea they listen to it.

      Neo-soul = down to earth women who enjoy smooth grooves

      Underground rap/backpack rap = hoodrats, hip hop junkie girls, and trendie chicks who actually do love lyrics

      Classic soul/jazz = Ms. Poetry Snap, Ms. I Am Woman Hear Me Roar Cause I Do Everything By Myself, & Ms. I Just Love Good Music.

      • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

        Sigh. Who tf cares whether women listen to what men listen to? What does it have to do with the price of chicken in China?

        Post about men being emo makes certain men get passive aggressive and throw out totally irrelevant gender comparisons to make themselves feel better. Sigh.

        • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

          +10000

      • SweetSass

        You aren’t a woman. Stop this madness. You have no idea what we listen to in the privacy of our own homes, etc.

        Why you feel this need to be musically superior, idk. That is some sexist b.s. You need to stop.

        • Rewind

          I apologize. I didn’t mean to offend. I was trying to prove his point wrong, but guess I went about it the wrong way.

          • SweetSass

            All is forgiven.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      That reminds me of the remix of Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab” where Pharoahe Monche had a verse. My wife clowned that mess so hard that it was rediculous. Apparently, backpacker flow doesn’t translate well to women.

      Though I wouldn’t say the music all women listen to is sexually charged. Then again, I’ve been with women who’ve listened to everyting from The Beatles to Country to Hippie Rock or Metal to REO Speedwagon. I’m used to listening to weird ish by now.

      • LeonieUK

        Your wife was sooooooooooooo right, that remix was hilarious and awful all at the same time. Her label was trying to give her a well loved request, but it was a flop.

    • mena

      I could honestly give two craps about rap music and i do mean ALL of it. It just isn’t my thing. I prefer movie scores, classical, some broadway (especially if i have seen the show), techno, alternative, r&b, and neo-soul. Anything else just isn’t my style. Music is not a way of life for me. It is simply a release that puts a smile on my face. Nothing more, nothing less.

    • Meisarebel

      See… I don’t have that problem. If a woman can Palance with me, Wok Back and Roll, Get On Bad, or even Tick Tok, then we set. And considering most West Indian woman do that… I’m good.

      If she can also vibes MORE THAN ME to some dancehall, reggae or dub… Then damn.

      • LeonieUK

        Now if you can dance to all this I’m smiling for the weekend…what no love for soca moves?

    • miss t-lee

      “But the thing is that most women don’t really listen to music like that. ”

      Oh we don’t?
      *smh*

      • mena

        I don’t know any girls that are “rap heads” nor any guys for that matter. Like none. Personally, i don’t think these guys exist unless they are on this blog :-)

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          Oh, we exist. You know that person that sits alone by themselves in a public place reading? That’s us!

          • mena

            I don’t know how i feel about this last bit of information :-) If he’s cute, I’ll give him a head nod with a nice smile.

        • miss t-lee

          “I don’t know any girls that are “rap heads” nor any guys for that matter. Like none”

          There are plenty of us ladies out here who love rap. I know just as many dudes.
          I know one thing for sure, I’ve gotten tired of arguing with men, who wanna act like we don’t know what we’re talking about. Especially since, most times we’re more knowledgeable then they are.
          Too many times I’ve heard the “oh you like hip hop?? It’s probably not *real* hip hop #doe.” Seriously, #FOH. I’ve known what I’ve liked, since I’ve known what I like (1984) to be exact.

          • mena

            I’m not doubting this fact. I have just never met a true hip hop head of either gender. Honestly, I didn’t really know they existed.

  • Dignan

    Oh, I forgot a big one. POLITICS.

    Men and women both get emo as all holy hail when their side loses.

    And I’ll admit to getting a little in my feelings the night Obama won.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

      As a Libertarian, saying anything about Obama got me into a lot of trouble. The funny thing is that I didn’t really say anything bad- and I still got the emotional freak outs from his stans- excuse me, “supporters” LOL!

      • b sweet

        I’m libertarian as well, and it amazes me how anyone who doesn’t agree with Obama is wrong. Blows my mind.

        • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

          I’m a pretty solid liberal, but I’m less of an Obama fan than anyone I know. Always have been. I caught it every which way when I voiced my preference for Edwards and then Clinton. People talk about Beyonce’s fans, but some of 44′s folks are right up there.

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

            I agree, Obama stans are worse than Bey stans.

            • Dignan

              You know, I only agree with about 50% of what he’s done. I’m certainly not a stan.

              However, I’m surrounded by so dang many Obama haters that I come across as a stan by comparison. As annoying as Obama’s stans are, I’d much prefer being stuck on a desert island with them than to be stuck on an entire continent with his haters.

              • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

                I agree with you about Obama haters. They’re worse because about 90% of them are just out and out racists.

                • Breezy

                  +1000

                • Dignan

                  “I agree with you about Obama haters. They’re worse because about 90% of them are just out and out racists.”

                  Yeah, well fcuk them *and* John Wayne!

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

          All I said about him was that I felt that he wasn’t qualified to be a good leader because of his rather limited experience in politics. I’ve been standing by that claim since he started running for president- and eventually ended up winning. I’ve had people actually stop speaking to me over that.

          • DQ

            I’d argue what it takes to be a good leader isn’t necessarily experience, but the capacity to make good decisions – and he had PLENTY of that, and thus was (to my mind’s eye) imminently qualified. If that makes me a stan, eff it, I’ll be that. I’ve seen people stan for things of far less significance or impact.

            What tripped me out more than the Obama haters (i.e. the Tea Party) were the black politico hipsters who went to great pains to show how they, unlike the unwashed masses of the Obama Mosh pit, were so past the whole black president thing. The need to appear un-moved by what Obama represented made them say and do a lot of stupid things IMO.

            • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1?feature=mhee Perverted Alchemist

              “What tripped me out more than the Obama haters (i.e. the Tea Party) were the black politico hipsters who went to great pains to show how they, unlike the unwashed masses of the Obama Mosh pit, were so past the whole black president thing. The need to appear un-moved by what Obama represented made them say and do a lot of stupid things IMO.”

              They were trying to tell people “I could do a better job than him”. But it wasn’t the Black conservatives, it was the Black liberals (I’m looking at you, Tavis Smiley!)

              Despite my conservative leanings (Yes, folks, I am a conservative), I still gave Obama the benefit of the doubt. However, someone needs to send a message to him that in order to create change, you don’t do what the last president did, LOL!!

              • DQ

                I’ll agree with you some there, and also compromise isn’t attempting a bunch of Republican initiatives only to have that same party reject them, block them, or insist on negotiating for them (yes Middle Class Tax Cut, Start Treaty, and Individual Mandate, we’re talking about you). One serious problem I have with Barack and the people who advise him, is that his apparent strategy is to show how reasonable he is being and how unreasonable the other side is.

                We already know they’re being unreasonable, you don’t have to demonstrate it ad infinitum. You certainly aren’t winning folks on the other side of the divide with your olive branch, and you aren’t winning us by compromising to the nth degree in the hope that you appear like the only adult in the room.

                There comes a time, when you do have fight back, forcefully and unapologetically… and that time was over 2 years ago.

                • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com/ Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

                  “There comes a time, when you do have fight back, forcefully and unapologetically… and that time was over 2 years ago.”

                  As a moderate liberal this is my problem with Barack and my fellow liberals. As a mass we worry too much about getting our hands bloody. Abandon the whining, Polyannic idealism, and don’t be afraid to proverbial beat your oponent into submission with a shovel.

                • demondog06

                  +3,000.456.6

            • Sula

              DQ, we are so >< here… Especially on the Black Politico Hipsters… *smh*

              • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

                We need another ‘Nam to thin out the black hipsters. *nods and stares into the darkness*

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          BLACK LIBERTARIANS UNITE! Seriously, I didn’t know there were more of you around. :) Hey, I get real circumspect with Obama. Those who know me know my politics, and I have enough sense to state my opinion without being a jerk. (And I vote for Obama on straight tribalism the last time around.) This time, well…it’s a good thing ballots are secret. :)

          • SweetSass

            You seriously think Mitt Romney has your best interests in mind?

            I have a bridge to sell you btw…

            • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

              Who said anything about Romney? ;) I sure as hell didn’t. He just reps a different group of idiots.

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

                so, who would you vote for?

                • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

                  The same candidate I’ve voted for every election other than 2008: the Libertarian Party candidate.

  • bhillboy

    “Women don’t take kindly to any music unless it’s sexually charged.”- I never thought about it but that is very true. There goes my attempt to indoctrinate my new one on the merits of The Roots.

    • b sweet

      Don’t give up on your new squeeze E. I’m no PA when it comes to music, but I’ve had a couple of boyfriends expose me to music I would not have otherwise Ben aware of, and I’m thankful. 25% of my iTouch is stuff my dudes downloaded on there.
      There’s something SOOO sexy about a man explaining or putting me on to music

      • LeonieUK

        +1 I’m rocking Gregory Porter and Rise Against due to an ex playmate. Don’t give up, women love to be infulenced.

      • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

        +2

    • Around the Way Girl

      Anyone who is worth your attention will understand why The Roots are the sh!t once you sit them down and immerse them in it…don’t give that up!

      Btw that comment I made the other day about you being sensitive actually shouldn’t have been directed toward you…I was thinking of someone else lol. Don’t know if you noticed or cared but if so, my bad!

      • bhillboy

        I missed it. Tell me where so I can get retroactively mad and forgive you all in one swoop.