Fireball Whiskey Has Some Stuff In It That They Use To Make Anti-Freeze. So? » VSB

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Fireball Whiskey Has Some Stuff In It That They Use To Make Anti-Freeze. So?

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I read a story yesterday that Fireball Whiskey is being recalled in Europe. Why? Here’s why:

Late last week, the whiskey’s European bottler informed the makers of Fireball that they were out of compliance with European regulations. The Fireballers prepare two versions: a recipe for Canada and the United States containing the chemical, propylene glycol, and a European version that has less of the stuff. Propylene glycol is used for a variety of industrial, cosmetic, and food production uses. In your Prestone Low-Tox, it’s an antifreeze. In Fireball, it’s used as a sweetener, its makers say. (And yes, according to the Centers for Disease Control, it’s “generally regarded as safe for use in food.”)

“It appears that we shipped our North American formula to Europe and found that one ingredient is out of compliance with European regulations,” a Fireball spokeswoman told The Daily Beast in an email. “Finland, Sweden and Norway have asked to recall those specific batches which is what we are doing.” (There’s no word of an American recall.)

Typically when reading news that you are or have ingested the same shit that is used in internal combustion engines, it sends a bit of a jolt to the system. In this case, however, my first reaction was…whoopty do? And why was it whoopty do? Because I drink a lot. And I’ve drunk a lot of stuff that I’m pretty sure could be used to keep cars moving, stop cars from moving, heat small countries, and or cure cancer. For the record, I love Fireball Whiskey. That cinnamon-flavored goodness goes down with the sweet sensation of a June afternoon in Georgia sitting on a porch with no socks on while James Taylor’s “Fire and Rain” plays in the background as the smell of a plate of yams with extra syrup wafts through the air. You wanna know how it feeeeeeeeeeeeeeels? Just like that.

Back to the lecture at hand. Upon reading the news about Fireball and anti-freeze and some of the ensuing conversation in the world’s greatest discussion forum, Facebook, I realized that folks like to get into an uproar over nothing. For one, the levels of propylene glycol used in Fireball are safe. And youse a fuckin’ fool if you don’t think that you’re drinking a chemistry lab any time you go out and drink. For two, I’ve drunk with many folks who got their panties in a bunch. Trust me, kimo, we’ve been drinking shit way worse than anti-freeze. Such as?

Such as.

1. Bacardi 151

I have no idea what chemical compounds exist in Bacardi 151. What I do know is that this shit is clearly flammable (axe me know I know) and it pierces your soul as you drink it. 151 laughs at Fireball and calls it a bitch, while kissing its mother. Do you know what I also know? I used to drink this shit for fun. During homecoming at Morehouse, me and my band of wayward souls used to buy bottles of 151 and pass them around taking shots until the bottles were empty. I’m fairly certain that some of the brush fires that have lit up California were started with 151 or any variant of its firebreathing cousins.

Like….

everclear

2. Everclear

Everybody who has ever drunk Everclear remembers their first time. It’s like losing your virginity and innocence at the same time while somebody lights your esophagus on fire…then smiles at you. The suck fick who created Everclear is a bad bad man. He (or she, though I can’t see a woman making something so vile and so evil) had no regard for human life or the college education process. I have no proof of this, but I’m fairly certain that the key ingredient in Agent Orange was Everclear. Point is, I’ve drunk Everclear. On purpose. I feel like I could clean my bathroom with Everclear and it would be cleaner than it would be with any Lysol or Comet products. Mr. Clean doesn’t have shit on Everclear. To show you how stupid people are – and by stupid I mean me and my friends – we tried to make Everclear MORE potent. I won’t even tell you how. Just know that when you try to make some shit that is already 190 proof (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) MORE proofy, you are asking for death. Keep in mind, once shit gets to 200 proof, you’re starting to get to carcinogenic levels. YOU COULD GIVE YOURSELF THE CANCER. Dude, 190 proof damn near LITERALLY means you’re drinking STRAIGHT FUEL.

I DRANK FUEL. FUCK ANTI-FREEZE.

3. Moonshine

I don’t even ask folks what they put in moonshine anymore. Mostly because I don’t want to know. When you start hearing motherfuckers mention laundry detergent and eyes of newts and aglets and shit that Walter White was using to cook his famous blue meth, you just turn a blind-eye to knowledge and proclaim that ignorance is bliss. Again, I’m pretty sure I’ve drunk laundry detergent and niggas is worried about anti-freeze? Anti-freeze? We talkin’ about anti-freeze???

(To be clear again, its just a compound that’s used to make anti-freeze. I don’t suggest going to AutoZone and buying anti-freeze and drinking it. That’s bad. Don’t do it.)

4. Gin

I don’t care what anybody says, gin is the first poison God created. Snake venom is gin. Gin rummy? I don’t trust it. Gin tastes like bad decisions in Singapore brothels. Gin is Drumline 2.

5. Idlewild

I see your face. You are saying, “the movie?” No, not the movie. Let me tell you a quick story. Many years ago at Morehouse’s homecoming, my boys and I all descended upon my boy’s home for the weekend. In this home upon which we had descended for the weekend, he had an errant bottle of whiskey. The official brand name of said errant bottle of whiskey escapes me. All I know is that I took ONE SIP of said errant whiskey and my side began to hurt. Substantially. Enough to make me consider calling 911. So of course, niggas that we were/are, EVERYBODY decides to shoot this shit. Myself included. I was in a lot of pain. I made bad decisions. I lived to drink again. We tore the label off that bottle and put some tape on it and named it Idlewild. I have no idea what that was, but I know that my spleen hurt. I assume it was my spleen. I almost sent myself to the hospital because of some alcohol. Fireball ain’t shit.

My point in all of this? I can’t be upset about drinking levels of shit used to make anti-freeze. Clearly, I’ve been drinking poison for years. I’m just glad this particular poison tastes like cinnamon.

I like cinnamon.

 

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • *FREEZE

    • panamajackson

      Yeah, that was fixed. Oopsy.

      • No prob Bob, just trying to help a playa out.
        Youre right, Moonshine is made up of terrible, horrible, no good, very bad things, but when Mardi Gras comes around you gotta suck it up and drink that poison

  • BreezyX2

    PeeJ, where is the LHHH recap?!? You can’t start and stop!!

    • panamajackson

      It’s coming. I was out watching football on Monday night so I watched it last night. The recap is coming today!

      • Wild Cougar

        I canNOT wait to see what you gonna say about whatshisname with the face tats now. Wait, that’s all of them. The light skint one. Wait…..The one I don’t like. You know who I’m talking about

  • Fireball is awful. Thats why they always reach for it when giving out free shots at a bar…..eeeeek.

    • panamajackson

      Lies. All lies.

      • its cuz im not a fan of fake cinnamon. Not the fireball candy. Not the drank. Not Big Red gum….never been a fan

        • Kwazi Style

          AMEN! that crap makes me gag… even the thought or smell of it makes my stomach boil.

          • panamajackson

            You both need an enlightening. It’s beautiful.

            • Stop doing the Devil’s work Peej….theres time still for you to do better in life

          • Fireball tastes like sadness and missed calls and broken hearts and low credit scores and late child support payments and chipped nails and long distance rates

            • Do you know anything that tastes like made child support payments?

              • Kwazi Style

                yup… Fireball!

              • LMNOP

                Water.

                • Meridian

                  Lipton Iced Tea

                  • LMNOP

                    Yeah, refreshing.

              • afronica

                Vodka & tonic. You order it when you go to a dive bar or get a bartender you’re uncertain about. Hard to mess up, so it’s the liquid equivalent of things that you do because they should be done but that you get zero credit for.

            • Kwazi Style

              And late rent payments and ex husbands and scuffed loubous and bad weaves and flat tires and declined credit cards

              • and pigeon toes and papercuts and overcooked steaks and baggy condoms

                • Lea Thrace

                  Please let this comment thread go on for ever.

                • Kwazi Style

                  and under cooked steaks and expired birth control pills and Don Lemmon and iggy Azalea’s rhyme book

                  • and sweaty tiddays and smelly bawls and j. cole and oxidized apple slices and crowded trains

                  • Val

                    Wait, Iggy actually has a rhyme book?

                    • Kwazi Style

                      Touche’

        • Rachmo

          I hate fireball candy and still love Fireball. It makes no sense.

          • Epsilonicus

            Me too!!

    • Its always fireball or mint sh t when its free shots…..i dont want alcohol that tastes like Jhene Aiko Whitney Houston covers, scuffed timbs and Taken 2

      • awl the time!!!

      • Andrea

        I was so disappointed in Taken 2…..also Rio 2 :(

        • Meridian

          Are you gonna see the new Taken?

          • Andrea

            Yes. My heart is full of hope.

        • panamajackson

          Rio 2 was definitely not very good.

  • Skegeeaces

    Thank you for the perspective! I was scared I was going to have to give up my “Apple Pie” drinks. (Take a Strongbow hard cider and drop a shot of fireball whiskey in it for a delicious experience that reminds one of homemade pie).

    • !!!!!!!!!!!!
      Thank you beautiful stranger.

    • ????????????????

    • Sincereluv4life

      my coworker brought me some apple pie moonshine from Tennessee- it goes down soooooooo smooth! I’m not even a big fan of alcohol (my ex used to get frustrated at me sipping shot glasses of brandy lol) but that apple pie flavor is where it’s at :-p

  • Rachmo

    I loooove fireball!

  • h.h.h.

    i feel like…i’ve found my long lost drinking cousin

    *sheds a thug tear*

    aye man, send me some moonshine, i’ll send you some devils’ spring.

    For research.

    • panamajackson

      I actually do have a moonshiner here in DC.

      • Kwazi Style

        Word?! ….. do share…

        • panamajackson

          Can’t be putting illegalities on the internets. lol. But I got a number lol

          • Wild Cougar

            I’ve had a couple mason jars of fruit flavored moonshine. I’m kinda over it. Ish tastes like moonshine

            • panamajackson

              See, you need the right ‘shiner.

              • Wild Cougar

                Well hook me up then….

      • tgtaggie

        I think we did some work for a moonshiner a couple of years ago.

      • IcePrincess

        I have one here in the A. He makes homemade apple brandy

      • After, my daddy passed I was going through one of the closets and found a mason jar with an apple floating in it and my a** fist pumped like Tiger Woods.

        • Paradigm

          I was back in the 803 this summer and had some moonshine that my cousin got from some guy at his job. Then I went and bought a jar from this spot in town since it’s apparently legal now (not as potent unless yo do special order). That was my first time havin’ it since I got some over 10 years ago from big white boy from Marion.

    • ED

      I was racking my brain trying to remember the name Devil’s Spring. Oh boy!

  • God Shammgod

    There was a point in my life where I drank Goldschlager with heavy frequency.

    I also did shots of Aristocrat tequila once and chased it with a Capri Sun.

    In the list of things I’ve ingested that’ll kill me….Fireball ranks pretty low.

    **The fact that my drinking now pales in comparison to my drinking in college is slightly terrifying.

    • panamajackson

      Yeah. Fireball is child’s play.

    • Amazonian Midget

      Goldschlager headlined my 21st birthday weekend. I regret nothing.

    • LMNOP

      I’m up voting this for chasing shots with Capri sun

    • Rachmo

      But did you drink Vladmir?

      • BuffinBoss

        That’s about the same as asking, “but did you die, tho?”

    • Goldschlager was the life blood of white boys at the College of Charleston.

      If I ever have to torture someone a jug of Aristocrat Vodka and pack of Peeps will be involved. #warcrimes

  • Val

    Such is the state of the food supply in America that we are beginning to just accept that most of the food that corporations sell us is basically poison. And that we should just eat it (or drink it) and be full!

    • Alcohol gets people social though. I prefer loner fixes though personally.

      As far as, food I was shocked when I read the ingredients on those Noble juices: They’re 100% juice. That’s it. That’s the ingredient

      • Val

        Noble juice? Is that an east coast brand? I’ve just discovered Trader Joe’s Tangerine Juice. Good stuff.

        • Started out in Florida.

      • Meridian

        I like to drink in party/event type atmospheres because I enjoy the game element to it. I prefer smoking alone.

      • nillalatte

        My observation, alcohol makes people mean. Not all, but enough I don’t like sloppy drunks. Just disgusting.

        • Val

          Mean? I think it amplifies whatever is someone’s real temperament. Mean people become more mean, loving people become more loving, violent people more violent, etc.

          • nillalatte

            Yup, mean and/or violent. I’ve seen peoples entire personality change with alcohol. It’s… interesting and kind of scary.

            • LMNOP

              Some people get all I love everybody too though. And generous, a lot of generous drunks out there. I get funny people tell me. I think I’m already funny though.

        • panamajackson

          I tend to be a very happy and loving drunk. I give lots of hugs and compliments and want everybody to be happy. People like having me around when I’m drunk, I’m very encouraging.

          • nillalatte

            I tend to be a philosopher when I’m drunk. The revelations! Otherwise, I just sit back and chill.

            I did say “not all, but enough”. I guess I should have further qualified that thought by saying… “alcohol makes some [white] people mean.”
            :)

    • LMNOP

      With alcohol I think it’s a little different though, since alcohol IS poison.

      • Val

        Small amounts of alcohol aren’t poison and actually have some positive health benefits.

        • LMNOP

          Another lie I was told in health class…

          • Val

            Well, there are all kinds of actual scientific studies that say in moderation it does have health benefits. But, apparently you know better.

            • SuperStrings

              Abundant in antioxidants

            • LMNOP

              I don’t know better, I meant that literally. Health class was a bunch of bs, like apparently there’s more to chex than stds and teenage pregnancy, but you wouldn’t know that from health.

              • Val

                Oh, okay, got it. I misunderstood what you meant. Health class? I never even remember having health class now that you mention it.

                • LMNOP

                  You didn’t miss much lol

        • panamajackson

          I’m positive I enjoy drinking. And that type of positive energy makes everybody better.

    • panamajackson

      I actually should drink it. How else will I drink 151 if I don’t enjoy the taste of rocket fuel.

      • Val

        Ever had Wray & Nephew Rum? Yikes. I’m pretty sure that stuff can actually be put in a car’s gas tank and the car will run on it.

        • Ah, Wrays and Nephew’s rum has been behind some fun and some conversations you really don’t want to have. Yikes…

          • Val

            Yeah I was introduced to it growing up by some Jamaican friends. Wild summer nights were to follow. Lol

        • panamajackson

          Of course. Wray & Nephew is the stuff of legendary nights.

        • cakes_and_pies

          I drank Wray & Nephew Rum straight for homecoming and sounded like Redd Foxx for a week. I will stick with Sailor Jerry’s and Wild Turkey 101. Neat.

  • Explain the science Evy.

  • Tx10inch

    I’m pretty sure Everclear is the devil’s bottle water. That’s some bad stuff brah. But where my peeps who’s partied over seas that knows about Soju? That’s crap’s completely un regulated! They put anything in it…..

    • DBoySlim

      Soju is the truth. If you really wanna get messed up, drink it with some Koreans.

      • Tx10inch

        Hell yeah, them boys drink it like water. Will have you walking home butt ass naked. 4real.

        • DBoySlim

          That’s how my boy ended up passed out butt naked on the toilet. Crazy.

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