Being as it’s Black history month and seeing as how most of us probably forget that fact that half the time once we graduate from high school, I figured that perhaps I should devote a little time to “Black issues”.
What are “Black issues”? Good question. But they sure as hell aren’t Jet Magazine.
Rimshot.
I’ve spent a lot of time recently – both because of the FAMU forum and because I try to spend at least twelve minutes of everyday on substantial thought – trying to determine what I think some of our biggest “problems” are. Now, this presupposes that we have problems but I’m fairly sure that we can all agree that as a community, we have a long way to go, Obama or not.
Can I get an Amen?
Yay-men.
I’m not afraid of failure. Strange as that may sound, if I fail that means I gave something a shot and sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. I tried to be sexxy. And I won. I tried to become the next Jay-Z. I failed. It’s all part of the game. But at least I played.
What does scare me to death is mediocrity. I’m deathly afraid of being just another mediocre person of little consequence to anybody but those who know me. I’m afraid of becoming like the people I see on the train going to and from work looking like their just passing time while they wait to meet Hayseuss. Amen.
I’m afraid of just doing what everybody else does to just “make it”. I’m afraid of being $20 away from being on the street. Hell, I’m afraid that if I decided to never blog again tomorrow, nobody would care and I’d fade into the obscurity that so many of us accept.
Telling you my biggest fear was a roundabout way of telling you what I view as a large problem for the Black community: complacency. Ever since we started following white people into the suburbs and getting the types of jobs we once considered out of our reach, we stopped pushing. We made it. The only problem is our version of making it was somebody else’s version where we were placated with better housing and more quality education opportunities.
The middle.
It’s not a monetary thing, it’s a mentality thing. Mentally, the boat stopped being rocked because we reached more placid waters and got complacent and comfortable. And that would be great except the ideology exists across the financial spectrum. The people with no money sometimes just accept circumstances that they were unfairly handed as their lot in life and don’t aspire to greater. Mediocrity is the goal, not a motivator. We haven’t taught enough of our community to continue to strive for greatness. Some of us just have that innately and want to do mo’ better. Or better stated, refuse to believe that wherever they’ve gotten is where they’re supposed to end up.
But hell, where is there, anyway? That’s part of the problem. We don’t even know what to want for anymore so we find jobs we like and people we can tolerate and turn 50 and wonder what happened to the time and what we’ve contributed to society.
That scares me to death. What’s the point of living if nobody realizes that you’re alive?
It doesn’t require you to be Nathaniel Drew, EE Just or Harriet Tubman, but it does require you to realize that you have to keep on pushing towards somewhere.
People get ready, there’s a train coming. Word to Araminta.
Just get on board.
So my debaters and debatresses of VSB, are we too complacent with our current situation as a community? If so or if not, what does it all mean anyway?
Is we gon’ die?
Talk to me, Petey.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
Yes. We are complacent. There seem to be some many things we need to work on that I think our community has just gotten overwhelmed. On an individual level, getting overwhelmed is easier to manage because you can set small goals and focus on achieving them one at a time. However, when it’s a community that’s overwhelmed, you can’t get more than three folks to agree on what should be accomplished, first, second, or simultaneously. There are some rays of hope from people who decide to first work on themselves and then their neighborhoods. Unfortunately, even they get overwhelmed by the magnitude of the task–especially when results aren’t readily apparent.
@Ms. Smart, so folks just quit trying? if that were the case the jheri curl would have died years ago but its resilience makes me optimistic.
@Panama Jackson, You ain’t right! Since you compared the struggles of our community to that of the Jeri Curl, I’ll rock with it. The Jeri Curl is still around because people are frustrated. They don’t want to fool with their hair everyday. They don’t want to worry about moisturizing. They don’t want to have to go to the salon weekly.
Myello Jello…
My answer is yes. We’ve arrived to what our ancestors and Dr. King, en lieu of the past holiday, fought for, the fight, fire,the energy is dead. It’s sad. And everyone just seems to be okay settling for what it is that they (our ancestors) have achieved. But if it’s gotten this bad for us, imagine the State of the “Black” Union will be for future generation.
**I hate that I don’t know how to strike through words…”(**
@JumpOnIt,
Use this as a tutorial:
http://ilovethecode.com/HTML/HTML-Tutorials-How_To-Easy/Make_Strikethrough_Text_Using_HTML.shtml
…now, go jump on it.
@JumpOnIt, yeah, seems like one of those we dont know what to fight for so we just watch TV and smoke trees.
@Panama Jackson,
Seems to be the cool thing to do.
Aside from rap and play basketball
Complacency is relative. What was once an achievement is now mediocrity, so maybe we should celebrate the fact that we as a people are having growing pains–it means we are in the midst of change, ideas are in flux, and conventions are being challenged. My approach is simple–for everything you do try to help someone you know do the same or better. Love for your brother what you love for yourself.
@Oceanview, I can dig it.
@Oceanview,
*presses the “like” button*
@Oceanview,
“Complacency is relative. What was once an achievement is now mediocrity, so maybe we should celebrate the fact that we as a people are having growing pains–it means we are in the midst of change, ideas are in flux, and conventions are being challenged”
good point and sh*t
@Oceanview,
Great way to look at it.
@Oceanview,
I agree with this sentiment.
@Oceanview, Complacency is relative. What was once an achievement is now mediocrity, so maybe we should celebrate the fact that we as a people are having growing pains–it means we are in the midst of change, ideas are in flux, and conventions are being challenged.
yeah, that’s true. i mean back in like 2000, 20 inch rims were a big deal. then we kept on moving on up. now folks are rolling on 26s and 28s. so you’re right. it’s all about progress.
@Panama Jackson,
tip harris said it best, big things poppin…etc.
hate that this is where we are as a people . . I just personally had a situtation where a girlfriend I feel is my sista told me how she just KNEW that her life would never amount to anything. Then proceeded to give the sad overview of her next ten years of what her future was going to look like.
This is a woman with a bach and getting a masters degree.
Somehow though since she struggled in her childhood she feels that nothing will ever workout right for her. That although she may find a job one day she will never make enough money to take care of herself or any child who may come along. . . oh yes she is also pregnant. Now she’s been laid off for 9 mnths can’t find a job and her boyfriend broke up w her right b4 she found out she was pregnant. She won’t take any advice from me because she feels my whole I’ve never struggled and therefore can’t tell her shit. (total and utter bullshit considering I had been unemployed & thought to have had breast cancer a mere yr ago)
I don’t know what to say to ppl who feel like everything is hopeless. I see a solution in everything and feel that if you want it and try enough you can do anything but I guess its not warranted because I didnt live “the life”
@Bettyblk, words have power man…
@Bettyblk,
I feel what you friend is saying. I really do. I wonder if I’ll be under a soul crushing amount of debt when I finish my PhD. I wonder if it will really be worth it. I wonder if I made a mistake giving up a good job in this economy to go and ‘better’ myself.
I remind myself of this quote. “To Hell with circumstance, I create opportunity.” – Bruce Lee.
@Shay,
“To Hell with circumstance, I create opportunity.” – Bruce Lee
I’d buy that T-shirt.
@Bettyblk, I don’t know what to say to ppl who feel like everything is hopeless. I see a solution in everything and feel that if you want it and try enough you can do anything but I guess its not warranted because I didnt live “the life”
as a person who’s eternally optimistic and really doesn’t have any problems or esteem issues, i tend to find it difficult dealing with debbie downer types. like there’s ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel. plus i’m afraid of self-fulfilling prophecies.
you know, if you build it, they will come and stuff. that also works in reverse, you think bad stuff will happen, inevitably, it will.
Yes, complacency is a big problem. We are hit everyday with folks excuses that usually start with the following:
- “Well at least I ain’t …..”
- “It ain’t my fault that …..”
Another problem is that when people do start accomplishing great things, they forget about the people “left behind.” People get caught up in individual success and forget about the collective. That creates such a rift between the haves and have-nots…
@naturallyalise1,
your last paragraph hits hard…most folks don’t understand the concept
@naturallyalise1,
People get caught up in individual success and forget about the collective. That creates such a rift between the haves and have-nots…
thing is, another way of looking at it is that you can’t have individual success unless you forget about the collective…and maybe (collectively) we’re not selfish enough.
i mean, i dont think cats need to start leaving treadmarks on the faces of cats that helped us succeed, but i do think that many of us are too ashamed to succeed because of the guilt we might feel over those we know who havent.
@The Champ,
“i mean, i dont think cats need to start leaving treadmarks on the faces of cats that helped us succeed, but i do think that many of us are too ashamed to succeed because of the guilt we might feel over those we know who havent.”
Hmm, good point.
@The Champ, interesting way to look at it, but there has to be a balance somewhere. we can’t all be on the jayz, “i cant help the poor if im one of them, so i got rich and gave back to me, that’s the win win.”
Yes, complacency and the African-American community go hand in hand like Peanut Butter & Jelly. It’s conversations like this over pancakes at iHop that make my meals free. But I digress.
I feel like a lot of the complacency we feel as a community is the result of two things. The first being the death of Martin Luther King Jr. that was followed by the signing of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. In the same time period that we lost a leader, we seemed to get what he was fighting and ended up dying for. No one successfully stepped in the gap he left behind to tell us that the fight was not over. The second thing is the illusion of success that resulted from the Civil Rights Act of 1964, at the same time that a small percentage of African-Americans “made it” the United States of America as a whole seemed to adopt the “I, I, I, me, me, me” philosophy. We were no longer fighting for the community as a whole, as long as the individual had enough there were no complaints, (maybe because of a fear that complaining might result in us losing what we recently achieved.)
Its not the problem that is the question, its the solution that we need. I was interviewed last week because a writer for The Hampton Script selected me as “someone who will be celebrated during Black History Month for their achievements” it was a very humbling experience. But if I or anyone else from my generation is to be honored among the greats like MLK or Malcolm X or Marcus Garvey, I hope it is because they united our community once again and convinced us all to fight the good fight.
*thoughts of a 90′s baby…
@J. Delicious,
remain humble…that is the key to success. accomplish great things and never seek the spotlight. your actions will speak for you. people with influence will know who you are and make accomodations for your continued success.
@atltx,
duly noted.
@J. Delicious, so did you get interviewed with the name Delicious?
b/c um, that would be hilarious.
Student leader XX Delicious is a beacon of light shining bright over the waters of inequity. LOL. That’s a Civil Rights script waiting to happen.
Stripper named Delicious becoming an important and seminal figure. Then again, some folks claim that’s malcolm X’s story, though i think they said his name was “RedLightGreenLight..No, YELLLOOOOOOOW.”
Or something like that.
By the way, I dont think you’re a stripper.
@Panama Jackson,
wooooooooooooow
I don’t think we have the same “fight” that we had decades ago; I think the complacency follows from the odd condition we’re in now compared to the struggle of past generations. When you are openly under attack for the color of your skin, when people are setting dogs on you and robbing you of fundamental rights and doing it openly with impunity, the necessity of working to improve your condition is clear. At this point, I think a lot of us are suffering more on a psychological W.E.B. DuBois “double consciousness” tip: the enemy is less certain and we’re less certain that we are even legitimate in perceiving an attack. I think this complacency flows into other areas, like personal relationships. It seems that black folks were more focused on building stable families and communities, whereas now we’re more interested in “doing me” and dismissing marriage and family like our lighter counterparts. The only problem is that the state of black families is in a much worse position than others, so whether we can afford to have this cosmopolitan viewpoint is questionable. It’s like in the workplace, when we see Tommy strolling in late, slacking off, and generally refusing to give a f—. There’s the temptation to get all hyped on this post-racial society talk on top of the load of degrees you got, thinking the Constitution says we too have the right to be worthless. Maybe my goals are too lofty, but to get where I believe we can be (in education, sprituality, family life, etc.), we still have a lot of work to do.
@Acacia,
To black flks that claim to be upwardly mobile “cosmopolitan”……includes being …”more interested in “doing me” and dismissing marriage and family like our lighter counterparts.”…because we have a…”load of degrees”
Where are more black folks that get your points? Education is a GREAT thing…but…why did we have to forget about common sense…why we gotta do what others are doing to feel successful?
I can’t find the post where you explain this “3″ thing. Who called you a 3? 3 out of 3.5? I will accept. Lower, I am not okay with.
Black people are complacent and willfully ignorant at the top and uninformed at the bottom.
@Sister Toldja,
Well played Sista
@Saule Wright,
cosign
@Sister Toldja,
“Black people are complacent and willfully ignorant at the top and uninformed at the bottom.”
*nods*
@Sister Toldja, I can’t find the post where you explain this “3? thing. Who called you a 3? 3 out of 3.5? I will accept. Lower, I am not okay with.
you so sweet. but no, it’s a 3 out of 10. actually i was called a 4, but i think 3 sounds better. and the folks that called me that b/c of the post i wrote can suck my back, beyotch.
This complacency is no accident. It is a product of a schooling system (as opposed to education because there is very little education actually taking place in our schools) that encourages mediocrity in pursuit of a mundane job that will make you enough to get by. Whether it’s $20,000 or $200,000, most people will spend right up to that income level and beyond, therefore, just getting by. I say we are uninformed at the top and the bottom. Even bougie Negroes don’t know what they don’t know. It’s up to the informed to drop knowledge to whoever will listen, free who we can, and pray for the rest. For an introduction to the greatness of our people read Nile Valley Contributions to Civilization by Anthony T Browder
dangerousnegro.com
@Tre,
It is a product of a schooling system (as opposed to education because there is very little education actually taking place in our schools) that encourages mediocrity in pursuit of a mundane job that will make you enough to get by.
thing is, you’re describing the american school system as a whole. in your opinion, how does that specifically affect blacks and complacency?
welcome and sh*t, btw
@The Champ, forget the complacency part b/c its true. there’s a rush towards the bottom going on and unfortunately we keep getting pushed further and further.
look at Detroit, black ass city with one of the hightest unemployment rates out there.
how does that relate? it doesnt.
but they all went to school probably.
i blame outsourcing.
hold me.
@Panama Jackson,
“look at Detroit, black ass city with one of the hightest unemployment rates out there.
how does that relate? it doesnt.
but they all went to school probably.
i blame outsourcing.”
50% of the population is illiterate here. i don’t think they went to school.
A lot of African Americans still have not accomplished enough to feel complacent. I am one of them. I often let it be known to friends and family that if I do all this work to rise out of poverty to only end up in the middle class I will consider my life to be a failure. There is a chance that my drive will diminish with age, or muted by the distraction of children and/or matrimony, but I can’t shake the feeling that living in a cul de sac living is not why I am here.
@Dash,
I often let it be known to friends and family that if I do all this work to rise out of poverty to only end up in the middle class I will consider my life to be a failure
in your opinion, what constitutes middle class?
@The Champ,
Middle class for me is that terribly average American Dream experience. I have never met or observed anyone truly satisfied with it.
@Dash,
Have you ever met anyone who was truly satisfied with anything regarding their station in life?
@Caballeroso,
Yes I have. Truly satisfied does not mean there won’t be bouts of challenges here and there, it just means you are walking on YOUR own path and not the path society, your parents, your peers think you should be on. At least, that’s my definition of “truly satisfied”.
Very interesting & timely post here Panama, I have to cosign with Toldja here, and that is truly sad. The fact that those who CAN don’t troubles me more that I can convey. Our society has become one that is all about self & eff everybody else, now that may work for those in power, but for us, eh-not so much. Excuses run rampant and no one looks back to provide a hand up, everybody’s too busy on their so called grind , chasin the dollar and what not to even care about the state of our community. I do what I can on a personal level, but my arms are not wide enough to encompass the whole community.(hoping that does not sound like an excuse, cause that would belittle the point). I am truly afraid for the next generation that comes through unless there is some HUMONGOUS paradigm shift here, and people actually DO something complacency will lead us into something far worse.
@bajanflchick,
“I am truly afraid for the next generation that comes through unless there is some HUMONGOUS paradigm shift here, and people actually DO something complacency will lead us into something far worse.”
I agree. I never really noticed how bad it was until I spent some time around the younger kids. Black folks feel that they have absolutely no responsibility to their own people. How is it in 2010 the majority of businesses in the Black community are not Black owned? When I go to the Asian, Middle Eastern, Latino neighborhoods it’s not like that.
@Humble_One,
“Black folks feel that they have absolutely no responsibility to their own people. How is it in 2010 the majority of businesses in the Black community are not Black owned?”
i dont think these two concepts are related.
@The Champ,
Just because something can be profitable doesn’t mean that it can’t be responsible as well. A Black person starting a business that will employ and/or benefit other Blacks is quite a responsible undertaking to aid Black well-being.
@The Champ,
I think they are. If a people have a sense of self reliance or community then those with the means and work ethic in that community usually give back by default. At the same time those folks that choose to run businesses in Black neighborhoods see opportunity and take advantage of it. Why can’t we take advantage of it? While it may not be 100% a sense of responsibility. I think a significant part of it is. You hear more people say “get out of the hood” instead of investing in the hood.
@humble one,
thing is, while most of the businesses in the black community aren’t black owned, most black owned businesses exclusively serve the black community.
basically, its not that we don’t attempt to provide for ourselves, its just that we haven’t (for various reasons, some, admittedly, out of our control) been able to achieve economic exclusivity in our communities.
@Humble_One,
It’s funny you say this I have a store w/in our community (my father actually built the plaza) and the first thing people try to do is talk down the price. I don’t get it, do you you go in Dick’s sporting goods and ask for a hook-up.
Blacks always want to out do the next one instead of helping each other out. Why can’t we rise together and be better then the rest?
@clevelandchica, according to a story i read in the Washington Post we all SHOULD be haggling over everything everywhere. this cat here did a story where he haggled at a chain grocery store and got food cheaper, same for shoes at nordstroms, etc. white dude.
he inspired me.
@clevelandchica,
i own a coffee shop and people come in giving me the puzzle face like “what do you know about coffee.” And then complain about the prices after they just spent 7-10 dollars a day at the chinese food place (I am across from a HBCU campus Fayetteville State University). I get questions all the time about selling beer, and how does a 25year old open a business. I read, aim, fire.
I think we feel complacent because we don’t know what we’re/should be fighting for. We’re the generation of “the harvest”… our ancestors and such struggled and now we have a black president. And though, we still deal with racism and ignorance- how do we combat stupidity? It’s like fighting a war on terrioism- You can’t fight someone’s conscience with your fists… it’s an uneven match… I digress… I can’t say I don’t see my complaceny in my very own lifestyle- there are plenty of things I know I can/should/willsoon do but I lack the urgency/motivation. And, I think we all (2520, yellowman, redman, blah blah blah etc etc and us) feel that way … I have 2520 friends that feel the same way- STUCK, like what is next. And, I know that this is Black History Month and the struggle *fist in air* continues, but maybe our idea of what we should be accomplishing is jaded and instead of focusing on what we “ain’t got yet” we should be celebrating what we do have and cultivate it to a point where we ALL have some…
@Yeah…SO?!, we should be celebrating what we do have and cultivate it to a point where we ALL have some…
Fidel? is that you?
@Panama Jackson, :-O – rude
We lost the sense of being a village…it’s like since MLK was killed this community went “Whelp…what we gon do now?”.
There is no accountability to BE BETTER, DO BETTER. We don’t share what we know and don’t receive what others have learned..selfishness and arrogance rolled up in one yet stay steady trying to impress.
The divisiveness of the attitude of “us” and “them” is killing this community…hell I don’t even think we have a sense of community until we see a news story about how a Black person has been done wrong, then we’re together for about 2 seconds.
Too many definitions of who “we” are…
@Smiley Face,
“There is no accountability to BE BETTER, DO BETTER. We don’t share what we know and don’t receive what others have learned..selfishness and arrogance rolled up in one yet stay steady trying to impress.”
Complete co-sign.
@miss t-lee,
cosign
@Smiley Face,
“There is no accountability to BE BETTER, DO BETTER. We don’t share what we know and don’t receive what others have learned..selfishness and arrogance rolled up in one yet stay steady trying to impress.”
YES, sista, YES! *holy ghost jig*
The thing about the term “black community” is that the ish is FALSE, as a whole. We’re not truly a community because we got too much of a “dog eat dog” mentality. An effing slave mentality. Lord knows the things we can accomplish again if we got together and uplifted each other. They say a 2520s worst fear is an educated black man/woman, but their REAL fear is their little “divide and conquer” plan being destroyed by the very people they tried to conquer by dividing. Should that mentality be abolished, I can’t even fathom what we can accomplish. Wow, it gives me lovely goosebumps just imagining what we can do.
I know, personally, there is no way hell I will keep anything to myself should I “make it big”. Hell naw, there’s just too much of it to share! Why not?
@Cheekie,
“They say a 2520s worst fear is an educated black man/woman, but their REAL fear is their little “divide and conquer” plan being destroyed by the very people they tried to conquer by dividing.”
SAY THAT!!!
I was having this same discussion with a co-worker of mine yesterday. We were talking about how we as a people have to “do better”
I think it has a lot to do with values and priorities. What do we value as a community? We don’t value hard work, and we don’t value family and we don’t value education. Its all about having the nicest clothes, the hottest shoes, and the car with rims. But we rent an apartment. (Don’t get me wrong, I am renting but my ultimate goal is homeownership). The sense of ownership we had in the past is gone. We are satisfied with being able to “fake the funk”. We don’t save our money, we don’t invest in our community. Then we blame the “white man” for our lot in life. We don’t take responsibility for ourselves or our communities.
I know people that would rather spend money on a new cell phone, than to pay their car note. True story. How could you spend $400 on a new phone but don’t pay your car note? The sad part about it is, they are okay with this. And will do it again in a heartbeat. It’s amazing how some people think. I think we live in the here and now. Some of us don’t anticipate a future so they live in the present. I think there has to be a shift in priorities in order to reclaim our communities.
@Complex Simplicity, I agree with misguided values for sure!!!!!!
I think black folks are complacent. There is nothing wrong with just wanting a job and living your life. The problem is that we don’t have that luxury. I can’t really blame those in the hood struggling to survive. But those of us that are educated, professionals, etc. should reach back. The older i get the more I start to feel that the Civil Rights movement was more about being able to move to the suburbs, get a good job, and be a part of mainstream(white) America. It was a smart move to back them. I think if the Black Power Movement didn’t lose steam we would have been better off. Part of me feels that it wasn’t about being self sufficient as a people it was about being part of something that was never meant for you. It seems that those that were already well off, educated or came from a decent background hit the ground running. While the others were still trying to figure out how to tie their shoes. I think that part of the reason the complacency exists now is because most Black folks don’t know or can barely identify with the struggle. My parents and grandparents told me how it use to be. I can see remnants of what they went through today. I still see the after affects. Right now the situation with our folks is dire. The problem isn’t money or opportunity. We have more opportunities and more money than ever. It’s the remaining issues of slavery. Until Black folks face it things will always be the same.
@Humble_One, “It’s the remaining issues of slavery. Until Black folks face it things will always be the same.”-*nodding in agreeance. We constantly have conversations about it, “the chains & bondage remain forever”…I can’t understand it. I know we have made great strides in the big scheme of things, BUT…the urgency of getting it together NOW is what we need, when can we free ourselves of being our own worst enemy?? I’m not saying that the past hasn’t played a role , hell even the present in lots of cases, BUT…it really does break my heart that it would appear that we aren’t even just “stuck”, but rather digressing…
I think its a lack of real leaders in this day and age. The sixties had MLK and Malcolm X…the seventies had the Black Panthers. Also, during a pivotal time alot of our black men and women were converting to Islam which was having a positive influence as well…then there was the Million Man March in the 90′s….that really was a defining moment for Black men….Farrakhan had his time, but he was too controversial..and now he is too old and quite ill. Nobody has really stepped to the forefront. Al Sharpton has gone Hollywood on us. Jesse Jackson is just a mess. I think also, people are complacent because they feel a black man is President…we can rest easy now. Things are worse than ever, unfortunately. Obama can’t fix this in four years. There have been alot of natural disasters over the last decade..thousands have died. I think, people are just in pain….and just trying to stay above water as best they can. People are weary…..it is definitely a sign of END TIMES. If you read Revelations its all in there…..we are living thru it now.
@QueenT,
“I think its a lack of real leaders in this day and age.”
do you think we need a leader?
asking because i’m not entirely convinced that those movements wouldn’t have happened if mlk and malcolm never existed. i mean, sure they were both great men, but the movement in the late 50′s and early 60′s would have happened regardless of who was leading the charge.
basically, they didn’t produce the environment, the environment produced them.
@The Champ,
I don’t think one leader is needed…I do believe that we need somewhere we can turn and get advice. Younger kids need to see that the neighborhood dope boy or the basketball player w/the LS460 is not the only avenues that they have to be successful. Once blacks finish their schooling or whatever else they do to be successful they NEVER return to where they began (be it the hood or burbs) and talk to someone who’s willing to listen. Once I get wealthy I have a plan….
@The Champ,
basically, they didn’t produce the environment, the environment produced them.
POW!
I read this quote awhile back and it has stuck with me. I think it may be from Will Smith:
“Being realistic is the most commonly traveled path to mediocrity.”
I think there’s much truth in that.
@Monk, dayum very much so……while “Imagination inspires nations” Janelle Monae…..
@Monk, Bingo. There’s is so much truth in his quote. What is reality? The problem is that blacks are letting their dreams and aspirations be defeated by “reality” and end up settling for mediocrity. We need to start exercising our creative minds and stop focusing on what perceives to be real.
“See, if you can’t do what you imagine, then what is imagination to you? Just a waste of space in your brain, to take the place of hate, where things all the same…”~Kid Cudi
@Monk,
no disrespect to the folks that support this comment…but look at one thing…nothing but quotes from entertainers have been used. they get paid to function in a place that is not reality. unless you plan on going down the same road…reality is a truth that can not be escaped.
form a firm foundation and build upwards…when you stop building…you have limited yourself…that is reality and it can not be ignored.
@atltx,
“they get paid to function in a place that is not reality. unless you plan on going down the same road…reality is a truth that can not be escaped.”
I’m not sure that’s altogether true. While the world they are living in may appear to be a fantasy (i.e. Hollyweird), those who aspire to work in that world are most definitely given a taste of reality when they first seek it. Believe that one! lol
I am a screenwriter, aspriring to make it in that same world and though I haven’t moved there yet, I already know that the ish ain’t gonna be easy due to competition alone. And it wasn’t easy for Will Smith, either. He may live a dream life now, but trust he had to go through reality to achieve it.
@atltx,
I’m in entertainment, but even if I wasn’t, I think the quote(s) hold much merit. I’m not gonna discount a quote just merely based on someone’s profession. They (we) are people first.
@Monk,
“Being realistic is the most commonly traveled path to mediocrity.”
Yup!
I once read/heard somewhere to “not waste my time explaining my dreams to others, that will just delay the outcome”… It’s easy for people to look at what you want to accomplish, and say “Wow, you do dream big”… It takes a lot of resolve to keep working on accomplishing your dreams… that might seem “unrealistic” to others.
@Monk,
“Being realistic is the most commonly traveled path to mediocrity.”
I love that. Must keep that in mind and use it.
Question as I’m reading this though: What qualifies as “do better, be better”? Even though I said, I don’t know what that really means…what determines what we need to do better than or be better than? No clear direction…
@Smiley Face, isn’t it as individual as each persons life path?
Believing, and reaching for more in terms of living life more abundantly.
Scripture comes to mind, and so does Pastor Joel Olsteen who always speaks on medocrity and how we can go well beyond that, and have all GOD has in store for us but first we must see it, visualize etc and believe it with the whole heart even if feelings are to the contrary in moments, its what you believe that comes to pass AMEN….so dream BIG, BOLD and BEAUTIFUL vistorious visions, for your life!
@OrangeStar616,
That’s the exact direction I was going…if we need to do better, be better as a whole, how can you individually go in one direction and someone in another and still move forward?
@Smiley Face,
“Question as I’m reading this though: What qualifies as “do better, be better”? ”
I think it’s relative to each person. Of course, your sense of success may differ from mine. And neither “definition” is wrong, IMO. I think being complacent is just being too comfortable in where you are in general. There’s no challenge. I guess the problem with “complacency” is that those are who too complacent don’t even believe that they can do better. That’s what we have to fix.
I’m going to part from what seems to be the majority opinion on this board. I don’t think that Black folks are complacent but rather don’t know what to do. We want to do something; I believe we want to achieve greatness individually and collectively but we just don’t know how to get there. I feel this state of not knowing what to do is largely the result of the mainstream Civil Rights Movement (MLK, SCLC, SNCC, NAACP, A. Philip Randolph, etc.) seeking integration and the betterment of Black folks through appealing to the “morality” of controlling whites and not earning the respect of whites and all other racial or ethnic groups by closing ranks and building ourselves up economically.
@Kamala Jones,
This is basically what I was trying to say. You articulated it better. The one component that was missing from all those groups you mentioned was the idea of being self reliant or “do for self”. This is what the Malcolm X, Black Panthers, etc. were trying to get across. We can’t build ourselves up that way until we love ourselves and invest in ourselves. It seems that so much was placed on being accepted by whites. We got acceptance but on their terms.
@Humble_One,
We’re definitely on the same frequency.
@Humble_One,
yep yep
No we are not going to die. It is safe to say that many of us however are in a mental coma. People can be “poor” on a mental and intellectual plane. Hell, many times homeless people are just a physical reflection of our mental state…The problem is that many have become too comfortable, but the work is not done. Its actually been in its introductory stage for a hot minute. My solution for now…read, read, and read some more. Many of our goals are short term and materianlism is the only driving force. Ok, im done…not gonna post my senior thesis lol
@Tahirah, “My solution for now…read, read, and read some more”-you have brought up an interesting point here, while technology seems to have made life a lot easier for many, i think it has also contributed to the demise of reading as a practice amongst folks, with all of this instant gratification in five minute blurbs online , I know grown-a$$ folks who haven’t picked up a book since college. I have always been a lover of books, so I co-sign here 100%, people would be surprised at what they could learn from a book -imho
We have not become complacent. We work very hard to get what we want, Christian LeBoutins(s), SUVs, penthouses, brownstones, etc. That requires dedicated, consistent effort. I see the issue as one of practicality and necessity. People do not necessarily need each other in the same ways we once did, nor do we feel that it is a practical and sustainable effort. As much as we think about “giving back” or “going back” to be an example, the demands of our own lives come first, they just do. As an eternal militant milf however, I do FEEL that we have to teach children our history and raise them from little do what is going to be good and lasting for those who come after them and make the ones who shed blood for them avenged. THIS, more than anything I think accounts for the complacency in the area of Black Communal Uplift. I have three children, the oldest 17, raised on the “fist” and kufied up in his crib. He said, “Mom, you concentrate too much on that Black stuff. It just doesn’t matter that way anymore.” If he is that way, I’m certain folk who haven’t had ANY of that are….uncommitted/apathetic/disaffected? (Look how many folk responded to this post in comparison to others…. findeth thou not that curious?)
@Iyapiphany,
Well, your son is only 17 and at 17 he likely still hasn’t absorbed all that you have taught and are teaching him. He’ll soon find out that the “Black stuff” is most relevant today especially if he competes with whites for something that they want as much as he wants.
@Iyapiphany,
i had something to say, but i got distracted at “eternal militant milf”
this is something my friends and i discuss all the time. to be what i consider to be a failure in my lifetime is my ultimate fear. sometimes i don’t know if my desire and will to make a difference is more of a motivator, or this fear of NOT flying. it’s that real. lol
that’s why it truly makes me sad when i have conversations with my 16 and 17 year old black students about where they see themselves in ten years and they say something to the effect of having a nice car, their own place, etc, and that’s it, no idea on how they want to get there. even some of the brightest kids just kind of shrug when you ask them to look into the future from a career or contribution viewpoint. conversely, asking my other students the same question, most have definite goals and plans about their lives.. “i want to work for Nasa,” “i’m going to own my own restaurant called ___” “i’ve already applied to Columbia” etc. the contrast is astounding. and these are kids all coming from virtually the same financial situations and neighborhoods.
i like to think i am making a difference in the thought processes of my students and motivating them to not just accept what Life throws at them, but that’s only in my small little corner of the world right now.
i think as a whole we have become complacent because it’s just simply… easier. the people whom i know that have a innate desire to be and do better have had certain values on education and growth instilled in them it seems, and all have the common thought that it takes a great amount of work to achieve great things. it seems that today, this is one of the missing factors in our community. the aversion to all things that require even a little above and beyondness (i know, i made that up. lol) is an epidemic and very very disturbing. especially among the younger generation.
came a long way… but still so far to go.
@Muze, “the aversion to all things that require even a little above and beyondness (i know, i made that up. lol) is an epidemic and very very disturbing. especially among the younger generation.”
*EXACTLY- THIS RIGHT HERE IS SADLY THE TRUTH.COM
@Muze,
@bajanflchick,
“little above and beyondness “…nice way to speak of work ethic!
i like…get er done…gettin to it…bustin ur arse…and my all time favorite…hold to it.
Maybe being from the country explains the work ethic my father instilled.
@atltx- call it whatever you would like for sure but “work ethic”…that right there is key, and BTW I’m a city girl and I get it too
@atltx, @bajanflchick
right. we can wrap it however we want… we just need to DO it. lol.
i think it’s very much an issue of what you receive and see when you’re growing up. if no one is ever telling you you can do more, and you never see it being done… well, the results are what they are.
I think that one of our [Blacks] biggest problems is that we waiting for a hero to come. No one is coming to rescue us and take us to the next level. Our dreams and aspirations can’t be placed on the shoulders of one black man or woman. Until us Blacks decide to step up and work together, we always going to be complacent and settle for mediocrity. We can’t keep letting mediocrity be The standard…
Man if you hit the nail on the head. Black people complacent as a muhfuh. I got a decent city job out of school and my grandparents almost had a heart attack talking about “You made it” and “You can stay there forever”. Then when I told em I’m leaving my job to go back to school they almost had a heart attack talking bout “You shouldnt do that. You might not ever get another job” blah blah. I’m like thanks for all you’ve given me but I’m a failure if I dont do better than you (at least in my mind).
However, on a slightly connected side note, I think this issue is very related to the feelings of impending death that has been noted in black youth. I was a pretty good kid and great athlete in high school, attended prep school and some how even I was still suprised that I made it to my 18th bday. My black friends, the ones from the prep school and the ones from the hood, felt the same way. My dad wrote his first will at 21. I think at least for many urban black youth, especially males, death is a REAL possibility, so what’s the point of looking that far ahead. And once we get there, we’re just trying to ride this thing out lol
@Plain Ole Peyso,
Completely CO-sign…complacency is/can be inherited…sad ain’t it. I get plenty side eye for not only leaving this job but going back to school and completely switching up on careers…folk think I’m crazy.
I’m only 30 and as I looked to a five year “what will I be doing” plan I pictured the same thing, same pattern I’m in now and I got itchy feet. Folk forgot to tell us not only to look ahead but look around…
@Plain Ole Peyso,
“I got a decent city job out of school and my grandparents almost had a heart attack talking about “You made it” and “You can stay there forever”. ”
*sigh* This hurts my heart. Because this mentality is is SO many of our families. Including mine. Well, part of it. My aunt is just like this with her grandson (my little cousin) because she has that “make money quick and now” mentality that only helps you short-term, but my mama is the opposite of that, thankfully. Her “I am a failure unless my children do not as good as me, but better” mentality is why I don’t settle for ordinary. I’m striving everyday to reach my dream and it is because of that classy lady.
@Plain Ole Peyso,
However, on a slightly connected side note, I think this issue is very related to the feelings of impending death that has been noted in black youth. I was a pretty good kid and great athlete in high school, attended prep school and some how even I was still suprised that I made it to my 18th bday. My black friends, the ones from the prep school and the ones from the hood, felt the same way. My dad wrote his first will at 21. I think at least for many urban black youth, especially males, death is a REAL possibility, so what’s the point of looking that far ahead. And once we get there, we’re just trying to ride this thing out lol
good point and sh*t
This is kind of off-subject but I think that one thing we need to stop doing is blaming so much on slavery. For instance, the lack of Black marriages, the lack of Black businesses, the lack of Black self-esteem, etc. are all blamed on slavery. But, in the years following slavery Black folks married and largely stayed married, owned just as much of the U.S. gross national product as we do today, and created mutual aid organizations and the UNIA. U.S. Blacks were even organizing to fight for Ethiopia when Ethiopia was at war with Italy during WWII. So, in many ways, we’ve lost our way from the late 60s onward.
@Kamala Jones,
That’s the late 1960s onward.
@Kamala Jones,
Wrote something about this yesterday after I got a little heated…my thoughts on black folk from pre-integration days…
“I agree with you re: family structure. However (comma) segregation forced us to be self reliant. We were beginning to take pride in ourselves despite Jim Crow. We believed in education…h3ll my 8th grade educated grandmother made me sit down and read everyday! Students knew their teachers as their neighbors and respected them not out of fear…but because it was something their parents instilled in them as a value. We got carried away with wanting to be like others. Only to find out that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence…and then we gave up. It was easier to go outside and play/run all day…no school + sports all day everyday for 12 years = a pro ball player. Heroin took sports’ place once folks started to realize that they weren’t going pro. And y’all know the rest of the story. Give me some of that pre-integration pride back…let’s mix that with opportunities that folks died for…and then maybe we’ll quit batching about loosing a damm step show and put more energy into helping the next generation suceed.”
@Kamala Jones,
This is kind of off-subject but I think that one thing we need to stop doing is blaming so much on slavery. For instance, the lack of Black marriages, the lack of Black businesses, the lack of Black self-esteem, etc. are all blamed on slavery.
in theory, i agree, but you can’t expect mindsets and mores developed from 300 years worth of a certain type of treatment to be reversed in 40. its the same concept behind a prisoner who’s been incarcerated for 30 years being unable to fully acclimate to civilian life
i actually dont think we’ve done enough examination of how slavery and fisher-price civil rights affected us.
@The Champ,
in theory, i agree, but you can’t expect mindsets and mores developed from 300 years worth of a certain type of treatment to be reversed in 40. its the same concept behind a prisoner who’s been incarcerated for 30 years being unable to fully acclimate to civilian life
i actually dont think we’ve done enough examination of how slavery and fisher-price civil rights affected us.
Champ, I agree and disagree with you.
Agree – with we having not done enough examination of how slavery and fisher-price civil rights affected us.
Disagree – with “you can’t expect mindsets and mores developed from 300 years worth of a certain type of treatment to be reversed in 40. its the same concept behind a prisoner who’s been incarcerated for 30 years being unable to fully acclimate to civilian life[.]”
In the last 40 years, Black folks have been hit by Crack Cocaine, Heroin, The Vietnam War, The War on Drugs, the erosion of Civil Rights gains that benefitted Black folks, an erosion of Black Art including music, an erosion of the importance of education, etc. These are just some of the events and/or movements that have left the majority of U.S. Blacks with more opportunity than before but arguably in worse shape mentally than ever before.
@Kamala Jones,
i dont see how you’re disagreeing. if anything, you’re proving my point
@The Champ,
“i actually dont think we’ve done enough examination of how slavery and fisher-price civil rights affected us.”
I agree. I think do thing it’s justified to blame things on slavery, but we haven’t dissected how exactly it has affected us or the things we experience. And until we do, I’m not sure we’ll get out of that “mental bondage”. It’s like racism, it wont go away until we confront it directly. Ignoring it or brushing it off won’t do a nicca any good.
i agree we (as a people) are very complacent. it bothers me when i look at my siblings and some of my friends who have so much potential settle for just being ordinary. i’ve never been that person. it’s just not in me.
when i was younger i dreamed of winning the nobel prize in biochemistry for discovering the cure for cancer. i wanted children to read my names in history books for the next 200 years. i wanted my face on a stamp. it’s still possible. that’s a dream i’m not going to give up. what are the chances of it happening? probably very slim but it never hurts anyone to dream big.
@Tunde,
how do you define “ordinary”?
@The Champ, ordinary to means to not be or at least thrive to be exceptional in any facet of life.
@Tunde,
“when i was younger i dreamed of winning the nobel prize in biochemistry for discovering the cure for cancer. i wanted children to read my names in history books for the next 200 years. i wanted my face on a stamp. it’s still possible. that’s a dream i’m not going to give up. what are the chances of it happening? probably very slim but it never hurts anyone to dream big.”
Should you reach this dream, I will personally send you a thousand e-hugs.
@Cheekie,
This blog post was disconcerting but also inspiring if that’s even possible. Kinda makes you go “Hmmmm”. Very well written, Panama!
“So my debaters and debatresses of VSB, are we too complacent with our current situation as a community?”
Yeah, sadly, we are. And it’s strange, given how far we had to travel to get where we are, where we are now would seem to be against everything our forefathers/mothers fought for. I mean, I highly doubt where we are now was the goal. Yeah, we’re not shackled by our ankles anymore but, we’re sure still shackled by our cerebellum. That “mental slavery”, as they say.
But yeah, ordinary is not enough. Because everyone and anyone can get to ordinary…it’s what makes it ordinary….the norm. It takes a special person to jump beyond that. And I like to think we’re special as a people. Because again, look at all we’ve accomplished. Surely we can go to infinity and beyond (word to Tim Allen).
@Cheekie,
But yeah, ordinary is not enough. Because everyone and anyone can get to ordinary…it’s what makes it ordinary….the norm. It takes a special person to jump beyond that. And I like to think we’re special as a people.
thing is, if we’re all special, then being special is ordinary.
@The Champ,
“thing is, if we’re all special, then being special is ordinary.”
Look at you tryin’ to go deep (pause…). But there are tons of different ways to special (not including Special Ed). How many different ways are there to be ordinary? Because if it’s ordinary, that means a lot of people have done the same thing. It’s the average. Being special, however, is limited to a few. So, we can all find out own way to be special.
My head hurts…
@The Champ,
thing is, if we’re all special, then being special is ordinary.
And that too is ok.
See, I believe there are different types of people. People to whom complacency is ok and indeed the reward (and they are the majority or else there wouldn’t be suburbs) and people who are not ok with the status quo. It doesn’t necessarily mean more money, nor does it mean more fame, it simply means living a life they are ok and in love with. Living a life that has MEANING for them. The wife in Revolutionary Road was not ok with just going through life, she wanted to live life, the husband saw too much to lose. She couldn’t bear it. There are people who are not ok with just getting by.
I see people in my company who have been here forever. It’s a great company don’t get me wrong, but being another cog in the wheel is NOT my aspiration or definition of life. I am leaving what many will call a “cushy” life to start on my own in what many have dubbed a “silly endeavor”, however that “silly endeavor” makes my soul breathe a hundred breaths a minute… and that alone is rewarding. The monetary gains might not be the same as what I have right now but I’ll rather feed my soul than my body.
It’s a choice that many of us have to make. And very few in my immigrant community understand my choice sometimes, but it’s for them to understand, it’s for me to do what I have to.
So it’s moreso the norm to not have lofty dreams of being “special”, but we have to quit telling others who are not like us that it shouldn’t be. Let them try and hit their heads if they have to. Because the reward is in the process for some of us.
Something I’ve been saying for years- “Complacency is the evil of all men.” It is the singular reason why I am at Howard pursuing my PhD. I left a government job with good benefits that paid 40k a year to take out a loan for 40k a year and be overworked, sleep deprived, and stressed out.
I could have easily spent 5 years or more at my last job. It was actually the best job I’ve had in my short time on this Earth, and it was the kind of job that people didn’t give up. The majority of people who were there had been there at least 3-5 years, besides the people who they hired along with myself. I could have easily of slipped into mediocrity and subjected myself to the daily grind that we call life. Hell, if I had, I’d be driving a BMW around the CIAA tournament right now instead of catching the Metro. My job allowed me to help people on a very concrete and tangible basis. There were a couple times when I felt like super man, and other times when I felt lower then sh*t because I couldn’t stop the inevitable from happening.
For my own personal happiness, I need a career that allows me to help people. My job gave me that on a very concrete level. Pursuing my PhD in Clinical Psychology will hopefully allow me to help people on a much broader scale, and maybe change society for the good of us all.
I’ll leave with two quotes from one of my favorite authors/bloggers that very much sums up my thoughts on this:
“Either way I was learning the lesson – the one that’s not supposed to hold true. The one that goes against everything they teach us as kids about being careful, acting deliberately, cautiously – that little’s ever lost in impulsiveness, and often much gained. That the meanest regrets in life are all born of hesitation. Of thinking when you should have been acting.” – The Philadelphia Lawyer
“Better to go down swinging than live in the slow suicide of What if?” – The Philadelphia Lawyer
Very good post today.
@Shay,
“Better to go down swinging than live in the slow suicide of What if?” – The Philadelphia Lawyer
cosign
Picture it… 2009 in a Pre Kindergarten classroom in an urban community. Young student talks to 60+ year old teacher’s aide that has been involved in the movement off and on for years, raised a family, has grandchildren, and constantly tries to teach Black History to these students in a subtle way.
Student (S): Mrs. Jones, is your daddy dead?
Teacher’s Aide (T): Yes he died years ago.
S: Who shot him?
T: Nobody shot my father. He got sick and he died.
S: My daddy got shot and died. (Other kids chime in and tell her that their dad died the same way).
Everyone, most of us are young professionals that are trying to achieve the “American Dream.” But if we don’t reach back and mentor these young kids, there will be a lost generation. We need to get it together!!!
@AliLaine4,
Your convo with your student just made me say “wow”. Not in a sarcastic way either. *sigh*
@AliLaine4- Your post seriously breaks my heart *Deep Sigh and co-sign “But if we don’t reach back and mentor these young kids, there will be a lost generation. We need to get it together!!!”
@AliLaine4,
“Student (S): Mrs. Jones, is your daddy dead?
Teacher’s Aide (T): Yes he died years ago.
S: Who shot him?
T: Nobody shot my father. He got sick and he died.
S: My daddy got shot and died. (Other kids chime in and tell her that their dad died the same way). ”
Yeah.. It’s sad.
The teacher’s aide is a friend of my mother. These kids just talk and ask everything, and they’re 4 and 5 years old. A lot of their parents are VERY young, and some of them were in the same classroom maybe 15 years prior. They just need guidance. A lot of them learn how to do the stanky legg and the jerk before nursery rhymes, and can cuss like a Gucci Mane CD (smh).
This post really has me feeling some sort of way – it has me commenting twice. I’ll say this and be done. I’m not only pursuing my PhD not only for me, but for my children, and to not strive towards greatness would be to spit upon my father’s legacy.
My grandmother couldn’t read or write. My father came to the US after the Vietnam War. My father came to this country with nothing, not even a shirt on his back. My father left home at 11 years old so there would be enough food for my grandmother to eat.
My father literally worked himself into the hospital when I was in high school. He was working two full time jobs for a year and developed an ulcer as a result. He has sacrificed so much (too much to go into detail) so that my brother and I might do better. So that we might live better.
To turn my back on his sacrifice and ignore his struggle would be a shame I couldn’t bear. In his own words, “You have the freedom to choose. I didn’t have that. You have the freedom to quit, if that’s what you want, but there’s no in-between. I just want you to not have to work like I did.”
I am born of greatness, to do less then would be to disrespect the blood that runs through my veins.
My father doesn’t speak about his past very much, and we’ve only spoken about life in Vietnam a total of 5 times in my life. I can speak 5 languages, but unfortunately, Vietnamese is not one of them. The things that he told me on Saturday make him my hero. I respected him before, but I can say I was ignorant of his past, and to an extent, I still am. Seriously, if I can be half the man he is, in today’s society…it just makes me shake my head.
when talking about the vsb’s and vss’s of the world, i think we’re shackled more by angst and expectation than actual complacency.
i mean, it seems like many of us are so hung up on perception and ambition and wanting to do “big things” that we actually don’t do shit. we’re like the politician who spends so much time making sure he gets reelected that he neglects to do his actual f*cking job.
this angst leads to a self-defeating “woe is me and my educated self” mentality, which leads to more misplaced “doing just for the sake of doing” ambition, which leads to more angst.
on a much more dangerous scale, you can also see the “if you aint doing it “big”, you aint doing shit” mindset permeating the minds of schoolchildren, convinced that the rap video lifestyle is the only way to live
everybody’s not meant to be on the cover of essence…and that’s ok. there’s nothing wrong with the 2.5 kids/1.5 pets suburban life, with “just” being a local banker, or a teacher, or a lawyer in a small firm, especially since those types of
“in-the-trenches” positions are the ones where you’re able to affect the most change and weld concrete influence.
@The Champ,
intent is the real issue…if you do to be seen and be known…well you done lost the battle….and that right there is the problem.
do right cause to do right is the thing to do – whether you get recognized or not is irrelevant…. at least in my book. it’s what i tell the kids too
in the end you are your actions…..
@kingpinenut-”do right cause to do right is the thing to do – whether you get recognized or not is irrelevant…. at least in my book. it’s what i tell the kids too”
“in the end you are your actions”…..”-ok, I swear this will be my absolutely positively very last cosign, fist bump or high five for today* but i just had to…cause it is beyond the truth …i’m out, i swear *sigh
@The Champ,
Applause to your last paragraph.
@The Champ,
co-sign 100%
@The Champ, your last paragraph very very true. The wealthiest people are often not the riche$t. Its all in how you the affect the lives of others.
@OrangeStar616,
You know this. Wealth is not always about having the most money or stuff.
@The Champ, Co-sign….I’m all for “doing it big” but if everyone is a superstar who is going to be the audience?
@The Champ,
“on a much more dangerous scale, you can also see the “if you aint doing it “big”, you aint doing shit” mindset permeating the minds of schoolchildren, convinced that the rap video lifestyle is the only way to live
everybody’s not meant to be on the cover of essence…and that’s ok. there’s nothing wrong with the 2.5 kids/1.5 pets suburban life, with “just” being a local banker, or a teacher, or a lawyer in a small firm, especially since those types of
“in-the-trenches” positions are the ones where you’re able to affect the most change and weld concrete influence.”
I’ve seen this too. I’ve met kids that actually think that 100K cars and million dollar homes are easily attainable. There is nothing wrong with doing the “in-the-trenches” jobs. That is what makes the world functions. The glamor, glitz, and celebrities are exceptions to the rule.
*Lurker emerges from behind the palm tree*
It’s honestly hard for me to identify with this concept of “Fear of Flying” because I’m a first generation Nigerian-American whose parents don’t share the same history as any of their black friends. Therefore, they haven’t also consumed some of the attitudes or believes that have resulted from years of repression. It makes things a little different.
I guess this was confirmed when a former supervisor once told me that her African friends and Black American friends were very different in that her black friends seemed to always walk around with this chip of oppression on their shoulder, while her African friends, because they had grown up in a different culture seemed to lack these self-defeating attitudes.
Growing up in the US as a first-gen, I’ve seen both sides, but have never been satisfied with being just mediocre, because my parents came here with the attitude that there is no other choice but to rise which rubbed off on me. It’s kind of like a buffer against the coldness of this world that tries to tell me where I should live, where I should work, and how high I should rise.
@ThatAfriChic,
I have a good friend who is notorious for pointing out why she and her kids are doomed to a mediocre life at best in America (no lie, these are her words). I tell her everyday, you are a citizen of this country, you have access to so many things despite the hurdles you always seem to mention.
I am not so receptive to that kind of attitude because of what I overcame and what people are still overcoming till this day. My home country has a system that favors 1% of the population (i.e those in power) and the rest of the masses are left to strive on their own…yet people are striving. We don’t have the scholarships, aid, or other programs set to take a kid through school, yet you see kids (e.g. me and a few friends) who sold water (yes, H2O) and peanuts to people on the street so we could raise money to pay for secondary school and then proceed to work all kinds of jobs to pay for University. Then you graduate and there is a possibility that you will be unemployed for an extra 3 years because you do not have a god father in government but yet we keep striving, applying to different positions, creating business plans…not giving up and that is the general sense that people at home have, you can either sit down and keep talking about what your hurdles are or try to cross over them, one way or the other.
I always wonder how (despite the hurdles and a very ugly past), you have opportunities that can make you better but people sit and continue to focus on the “barriers” set up by someone else to block you, yet there are other people scaling through them. I got hooked on VSB/3ways et. al. because I am seeing more young black people who are striving and its not every one that allows the past to hold them back and I applaud you for not being that person. Yes there were and still are issues of racism, but there are less hurdles to achieving your best and there are examples right here on this blog.
We are complacent. But not of the things and reasons that you all seem to agree on.
We are complacent with how we view the world.
I don’t blame communities. I blame individuals. I didn’t go to the best schools and grew up in a neighborhood down the street from the Huxtables. I came up from the dirty. I stood there as my peers made those bogus decisions that is exemplified throughout the community as a whole. I stood there and ASKED them why… It’s cool and sh*t that you all want to take that generic stances you are taking. Fight the good fight… But I blame the individuals. You have to want more. And you know what, people do want more. Children naturally dream, and thank goodness for the generation gap since it helps to filter the ignorant stuff an elder will try to get you to co-sign on. Yeah. I said it. I will not sit here and pretend that everything an elder told me is gold. Forget that… You know what… I’m gonna put it out there. Most elders I know are AFRAID. Yeah I said it. And you know what, from the pattern in comments and discussion, I think that most of you will encapsulate that fear and present it as wisdom to the younger masses. Fear of what? Fear of the acceptance of reality. The reality that the image of form we seem to be striving towards is a farce. We have yet to see the true light, to accept the true light, and lastly to incorporate the true light in our everyday lives. We look at ourselves as solely a product of slavery and opression and that’s how we approach these problems. We are so much more and I’m not making any reference to Africa.
Children are intimidated, not by the world, by how we’re painting the world. Children don’t care about what the government did with crack. They just want the world. And here we go, we don’t empower them, we b*tch to them about this condition. Every generation b*tches to the next, then says, “I’m confident that the next generation will address this.” How many times have we said that now?!?! Then any type of progressive thought is crushed by the current elders at that time who are stuck in the mind frame of their younger years. Certain elders, so quickly dismiss the will, desire, dream of a child just to have the satisfaction to say: “Racism will get you” (basically) Basically, to hear themselves talk about the woes of being black. There are woes, but we hype it up so much that even adults in their 30s are convinced that true achievement of greatness is not possible due to racism. Like that’s the only type of hate… That has molded our lenses and that’s how we view the world. So a child that views the world as pure as one can, sees otherwise. Sees the solutions as simple choices people can make, little by little, everyday. Those ideas are shunned thus forcing the child to take on the mantle of “us verses them” as a faux component of one’s true mental freedom. To push the envelope, is to question the very basis of what every single one of you claim to stand for on this site. The conversation has a nice front. Everyone agreeing and we all see the solution so clearly… WRONG. This is the SAME conversation I overheard as a little child (5th grade). This the same conversation as a teenager. Now, in my mid-twenties, all I have read in reference to anything is repetition. I’m sick… Disgusted… Here I stand and I witness how complacent my people stand in fooling themselves that they lie on a path that’s showing them truth. They internally fear another set of races and b*tch and moan about how “hard” it is. Like that isn’t life to begin with… So… We shun new ideas and approaches to old problems and alienate our own people. Oh collective thought, how great you are. We cater to an old image of what we think greatness is. Yet ignore the possibility of “other.” I stand here as a living testament of “other.” Greatness doesn’t have an image. While we live double and triple lives, in one sense speaking all high and mighty of a “Morehouse brotha,” but then turn around and lack the basic understanding of the importance of the reemergence of Common Sense. We use the media as a looking glass to view our own people, but then we shun the media in a second breath. How stupid is that? We are complacent on viewing the world in which we do. It is convenient. Easy, to do so. It’s easy to pick an protagonist and antagonist. It’s easy to see everything as a battle and everything that’s negative a plot against us. This in itself isn’t important really. The problem lies that we are bound to this mentality. We enslaved by our desire to fight the good fight. Yay… We’ve proved that we can look at a problem in one dimension for decades. Awesome…
Sorry for the lack of eloquence and cohesiveness… I probably didn’t get my point across, but I do feel better. lol *whew*
@MeteorMan, YOU MADE PLENTY SENSE.
@MeteorMan, Y’know its always good to read the comments on VSB. Co-sign bruh
Great Post PJ. I totally agree. I have been struggling the last year with my current spot in life. I feel like I am meant to do so much more, but I am afraid to take the leap. I recognize that, I know that I want so much more and like you my fear is to die being mediocre…..but even more than that is the fact that what i fear most is ending up worse than my parents. I dont want to risk middle class and end my life on welfare because I gambled to big….I
Yes we’re complacent. This is a problem on every level of the black community.
I find it more troubling in people from the ages of 16 – 21. Has y’all talked to someone from this age range lately?
A few of my friends and I spoke at our high school last year and the lack of drive among the graduating seniors was crippling. The kids didn’t look us in our eyes as they spoke and I thought this was a sign of a much larger issue.
Someone up thread mentioned not only looking ahead, but looking around. If the kids that we spoke took a look around they would see this. A county with a population of about 10,000 people. 70% of the population is black. They attend the worst school system in the state of South Carolina. (Seriously you have to try to be this bad)The unemployment rate is hovering around 22% – 23%, but the kids seemed to be good with that. I wondered if they were aware of how bad things are because many of them had no plans on leaving or doing anything other than wasting away. A few would say something like moving to Atlanta or Charlotte with a family member to look for work, but they didn’t understand that down and out is the same in Charlotte as it is in small town SC. So I guess many youth are just uninformed so they can’t even be counted in the number of we the complacent.
As for our community as a whole we have to create goals as individuals and as a people. On the personal level these goals should include our finances, relationships, and our souls. On the communal level we seriously need to have a talk with one another (No-Tavis) then move ahead. This easier said than done, but I think it’s a step. In much the same way that I don’t want to be an office manager for the rest of my life, I don’t want to feel like I’m a member of some endangered species. It seems that we belong to the only race in the nation without a set of long term goals. Then again, it could be me.
Sorry if I rambled.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
“A few would say something like moving to Atlanta or Charlotte with a family member to look for work, but they didn’t understand that down and out is the same in Charlotte as it is in small town SC.”
I see the same thing here in Detroit but it’s adults saying it. I think to myself “You have a high school diploma with no skill. Where are you going to go where your life will be any different from here?”.
I think I have been blessed to be around optimistic folks, and people who have goals that they are constantly trying to accomplish. I know there are people out there who are comfortable not having goals but it’s just not me, and I think I gravitate towards those who think similarly to me. I have found that people who have no goals seem to think I’m too busy to be their friend…I think they just have too much free time and need to find a hobby.
Sidebar: I met a guy the other day and I proceeded to ask him what his hobbies were…he told me going out to clubs…I stopped answering his calls.
How can your hobby be “going out to clubs”?!?!? WTF?!?!
He continued on by saying maybe I will go to school next semester, or maybe I will start working…so I said maybe we can talk once you start doing at least one of these things…but then again maybe not.
HUGE TURNOFF!!!
We have gotten complacent. At least I have. I’ve worked hard to get to a place where I’m not struggling. I’m doing better than my parents did and my kids are better off than I was … so I think “I’m good”. So if that’s the case, why do I find myself at 45 years old, sitting on the couch saying to myself, “I don’t want to die ordinary.” I hate it. I know I have to do more. I have to be better. I have to go above and beyond … it’s not too late for me to change this and set a better example for my kids.
I’ve been struggling with this for a while and I can’t quite get my issues sorted out. I think part of the problem is a lot of the focus has been on encouraging kids to do all the things that you have to do to achieve the so called “American Dream” instead of encouraging them to find their own dream. Or more importantly encouraging them to figure out how they can really make a difference. Too much focus on making money…not enough focus on carving out a joyful and meaningful life for themselves. I need to ponder this a bit more and figure out exactly what it is I really want to say.
Regardless there’s a lack of guidance of any kind for most of these kids. More of us need to at least be doing our parts to show kids that there’s more to life than what they can see from their neighborhoods.
@klysha,
” I think part of the problem is a lot of the focus has been on encouraging kids to do all the things that you have to do to achieve the so called “American Dream” instead of encouraging them to find their own dream.Too much focus on making money…not enough focus on carving out a joyful and meaningful life for themselves”
I think you are right. My brother and I discussed this. Growing up baby boomers always stressed “getting a good job” and going to school. What I realized as an adult is that a lot of the so-called “American Dream” comes at a price. Everyone is not cut out for the corporate world. Everyone can’t be a celebrity. That is never taught. No one never speaks on being a succcess while being you. It is assumed that being CEO and having this and that is what we should all shoot for. But you are following someone else standard of success.
@Humble_One,
I definitely agree. Furthermore, we must get rid of the concept of a “good job” because many of those jobs are now gone. I was at a documentary screening at a HBCU recently. The documentary focused on Black women and natural hair. Well, one of the college students said after the film during the Q & A Session that she fears wearing her natural hair will hinder her in getting a “good job” after she graduates. I say that to say that we must start teaching our young adults and teenagers better as to the economics of the present.
@Kamala Jones,
“one of the college students said after the film during the Q & A Session that she fears wearing her natural hair will hinder her in getting a “good job” after she graduates”
that sentence right there saddens me for multiple reasons…the girl probably feels like she’s doing what she’s supposed to do…strive for the American dream….but in doing that she feels that she must compromise a part of who she is so she can be more “American” and fit into the mold that people who get that dream fit into….there’s something fundamentally wrong there….but that could be a whole different blog topic
@Humble_One,
Real ish there…
on a side note I have a mild fear of heights and looking at that picture is very upsetting to my stomach….
Being a celebrity doesn’t equal being a success or escaping mediocrity, esp with it being as cheap as it is these days LOL. It also doesn’t equate to happiness or a life less ordinary either….folk are famous and miserable but they have ZERO privacy etc, because like us none celebs, I think they are searching for something more meaningful as well, its the human condition, but I guess for them its different in the aspect that they expected to find meaning or more of it, in those bright lights and its not there, wasn’t ever there to be found…..that ain’t where you find it
OMG – I think you reached down into my soul and listened to the conversation that I have been having with myself this week.
I stumbled upon this site and a few others in the last two months. This site is the best, hands down. Great posts (consistently) and great comments. Moving on….
This topic gets me so riled up and it’s hard for me to discuss it without being long-winded. In an attempt to keep it short, I agree with all of Humbled_One’s comments and replies, word for word. We are still dealing with the effects of slavery, terrorism & racism during post-slavery times, terrorism & racism during the segregation era, the initial/current terrorism & racism during the intergration era, and the devastation & destruction of our communities/families in the crack era. Not to mention the ever growing divide between Black men and Black women. It’s like after we finally got them to agree to let us share fountains, restaurants, classrooms, and buy houses next to some of them, we (except the “radicals”) assumed that they would flip the entire system to create & support all-inclusive privileges instead of the reigning status quo of White Only privilege. Not. Sure, a small percentage of us have “made it” or are making it, but…….Lord, let me stop now. We have to help ourselves.
Word to the All African People’s Revolutionary Party.
Excellent Topic!
The Chaplin at work and I were discussing this very thing.
I asked her” Is being average/medicore was a sin?”
She asked me ” Did I feel God called me to be more than average/mediocre?” I told her Yes He did…
Her answer was “Yes, then it would be a sin”.
Every time I make a move career wise, money wise, possession wise, etc…the satisfaction is less intense and the length of that satisfaction is less. I have no idea how or where go to get the point that I am using enough of my brain, my energy, my heart and soul in this world be to call it fulfillment on any level…So I go to work, help a few people, try to make a little teeny tiny mark on my teeny tiny section of the world,take online classes in a major I am not sure how to use (3rd change of major since I began), collect my pay check, buy some rims for my truck, some new suede heeled booties for my feet, order some Omaha steaks for my man, take my kids fishing, to the drive in movie, pay my bills and maybe take small vacation or two, pay into my 401k, put a lil’ money in the bank and call it living…but its not really living…its existing….Anybody have the answer?
I watch the Food, Discovery and History Channel regularly, and I noticed how other folk create and/or find careers doing what they love, making money, getting recognition from their peers, and in a lot of cases, teaching or helping others at the same time! How fulfilling that must be! Examples:
Man vs Food! I love this show! To get paid to travel and eat! Sign me up!
Ancient Egyptian Textile Specialist : looking at mummies and determining its era, social status and origin by examining the wrappings.
Antiques Roadshow: Looking at peoples old stuff, and determining their value…helping folks find money in their old collectibles…I love old stuff..awesome!
Lifestyle Interventionist: Interviewing folks, taking note of unhealthy lifestyle practices, planning ways to change, lower, or reverse these practices and effects…changing lives! helping people! socializing!
Life coaching: see above!
Experts: Every news show, magazine, fashion blog, how to website, and radio show has an expert in a particular field or subject, no matter how minuscule the topic…Fitness Expert, Fashion Expert, Celebrity Gossip Expert, Cooking Expert (not a chef), Urban life style expert (we could all be one of these), etc.
Maybe we need to think out of the box and not as we have been taught:
Case in Point:
The Freedmans Guide to Happiness
1. Go to college or get a trade
2. Find a job in a well known company with benefits and 401k/Retirement/Pension
3. Stay there forever and earn your 40-60 cents a year raise
4. Live hella modestly and sock away every penny in an savings account that gives you little or no interest on your hard earned cash.
5. Work till you nearly drop dead in your 70′s
6. Pray that you can live and tithe your 10% on the 401k/Retirement/Pension and Social Security( if they still have Social Security when we retire)
7. Sign up for online life insurance like Colonial Penn that you can use to pay for a cheap casket, carnation arrangement, and Miss Jenkins from First AME Holy Baptist Good Shepard Presbyterian Church to sing “Going up yonder” when you drop dead of that stroke, heart attach, or cancer you will be getting (God Bless You all not wishing anybody any of this) because you were so busy working, you had no time to workout, no money or time to cook and eat right, no vacation to de-stress, no money for prescriptions and co-pays so you neglected your check-ups… and then pass this brilliant plan on to our precious children so they can grow up unfulfilled like us!