Featured, Race & Politics

Father Of All Fuckshit Drops Mother Of All Bombs In The General Vicinity Of ISIS Or Something Because He Likes To Hear Things Go “Bang!”

Do the people who voted for and still support Donald Trump — a man who, to his credit, seems to be doing exactly what he said he was going to do during his campaign — realize that if Trump’s actions do lead to a world war, they’ll be dead and shit too? That while Whiteness can protect you from racism, bias, poverty, unemployment, substandard education, apathetic health care, general accountability, and United Airlines, it will not protect them from getting their faces blown the fuck off by the perpetually annoyed great aunt of all bombs (PAGAOAB) or whatever the fuck else the countries irritated and threatened by us have up their sleeves? Do they maybe just believe that heat-seeking missiles just target niggas with hypertension?

I wish these were rhetorical questions.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com and EBONY Magazine. And a founding editor for 1839. And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • cedriclathan

    Fcuk him!

  • kingpinenut

    It’s about to go down.

  • Glo

    Other. Countries. Have. Bombs. Too.

    This isn’t scaring enough people the way it should be.

    • Phil GoBeGreat

      Right.

    • NonyaB?

      My sentiments exactly.

    • miss t-lee

      Seriously.

    • Looking4Treble

      All. Of. This.

      Should be obvious. Apparently not in the Blight House.

    • Mr. Mooggyy

      This is true! But, lets not forget that (no matter who is in office) we are the world’s only Super Power. The problem is, you need to have someone who manages this power correctly. Right now, we have a man with an dunce cap on!

      …….and small hands

    • TheUnsungStoryteller

      I just saw an article that said this shouldn’t be alarming. Yeah, right. Just watch. We going to piss off enough people.

      • Phoebe Cohen

        Yeah. . and how stupid is it that 45 pissed off our allies (Not shaking Merkel’s hand, presenting Merkel with a “bill” for NATO, lying about the UK spying on his campaign) . . . and now 45 wants our allies to donate their weapons and manpower to this ill-conceived war???! I hate this reality show presidency.

    • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

      Facts.

    • raul

      Well yeah but that’s why he picked Afghanistan. Nobody’s who matters is going to care and it’s not like they can fight back. North Korea’s little diceier but worst case scenario there is that they bomb South Korea and the US wipes them off the map in retaliation. China won’t be impressed but it’s not like they’re getting into a nuclear exchange over North Korea.

  • A.G.

    I want to know:

    1. How many of these MOABs do we have? Because if it’s only one, why drop it now and essentially waste it?
    2. Is this being used as a distraction from domestic policy/administration scandals?
    3. How much does this cost?
    4. Where are the House/Senate Republicans, and how often can he do this without congressional approval?
    5. Will Trump be back in Florida this weekend for Easter?

    I need a strong drink of something, because I’ll be in DC this weekend. Hopefully the world won’t blow up while I’m there.

    • Question

      Do you need congressional approval to drop a non-nuclear bomb when you’ve already received congressional approval to engage a specific target (IS) in a specific place (Afghanistan)? I’m asking because I don’t know…

      • Phil GoBeGreat

        No, the 2001 resolution gives him authority to attach Isis. (Not Syria)

        • Question

          That’s what I figured. Trump probably had nothing to do with this decision but will claim it if it’s successful…

          • Phil GoBeGreat

            Oh he ABSOLUTELY had to give the greenlight… congress had no say in it. Success or fail… it is on him.
            (Although Obama had one moved over there for possible use, he never pulled the trigger)

            • Question

              This isn’t a declaration of war. War was declared and authorized years ago…

            • tinycurls

              the military commander, what’s-his-rank-and-name, said it was planned during the only real President Obama’s administration. Due to timing of intel, of sinking folks’ battleships and all the other connect four type of ishts that have to happen in order to drop a bomb on the correct location, it was executed today. now, of course, that orange pos will take credit for it…but it should also be noted that the military commander what’s his name said that mickiefickie (direct quote) had nothing to do with the action. also, that action didn’t require approval from the only real President Obama.

        • Hugh Akston

          Is is didn’t exist then

          I believe terror ists would be the target…i.e. Any countries that the us deem a shelter for them

        • Epsilonicus

          Sorta, once IS came into Iraq it created a legally justifiable position for US to attack them.

      • Alessandro De Medici

        No…I don’t think the president needs congressional approval to declare war or to drop a nuclear bomb. Could the congress create or enforce laws that would make the president do so…of course.

        Will they…they wouldn’t do it, if Dems had 60 in the Senate and a majority in the House, and Trump was president.

        • Phil GoBeGreat

          President absolutely needs congressional approval to declare war, and there are checks and balances before a Nuke can be used (although congressional approval isnt required formally).
          Technically he could start a war and if he did so without congressional approval they siimply defund everything and he has no missles to launch.

          • Alessandro De Medici

            True, but when’s the last time congress approved a declaration of war?

            • Phil GoBeGreat

              2001

              • raul

                Nobody’s technically declared war since WWII, because the UN charter basically defined that as an act of aggression.

                Now they’re all framed as retaliation er self defense. Then W came along and proclaimed the second gulf war a “preemptive” act of self defense which is of course total bs.

          • CrankUpThe_AC

            Actually I was just listening to Radiolab podcast a couple days ago about the VERY fact that there are no checks on the president to prevent him from ordering a nuclear attack. There are tons of checks on the people who actually launch them but none on the person who orders it. The episode was really good and fucking terrifying. It’s called “Nukes.”

            • Phoebe Cohen

              Yeah, I love radiolab! And it is usually scary AF

        • nillalatte

          Isn’t there a 48 hour rule of notification to Congress if they do act unilaterally? I read it somewhere, but h3ll I don’t know all the specifics. Boy, am I learning!

          • Cheech

            There is the War Powers Resolution. (aka the War Powers Act)
            I haven’t read it lately. Because, well, no one else has either. Not since the ink dried on it while we were in Vietnam.

            • nillalatte

              That’s it. The tRumpers pulled that one out of thin air. lol

        • Cheech

          Congress, not the President, has the power “To declare War.” Art. I, Sec. 8, cl. 11.

          • Alessandro De Medici

            Lol…no I know.

            My point is how reliable are they to stop a war from happening, that the president wants to happen?

            • Cheech

              Ohhhhhhh … I see. (Heheh.)

              I’m trying to formulate a cogent answer, but my mind is filled only with the words, “paralyzed, recalcitrant wallflowers.” (Which is what they were when Obama properly sought authorization to respond to the last Syrian chemical attack.)

              • Alessandro De Medici

                If memory serves me right, I remember how bad the reaction to the idea that we might attack was: a. it was bi-partisan, b. it was more likely than not that there would’ve been riots in the streets, if he had done the attack afterwards. So it wasn’t like he had a choice.

                It didn’t really matter though, a year later, we were out there bombing ISIS anyways.

            • L8Comer

              Depends… ha

          • L8Comer

            Bluebook citation and all, eh? ??. Yo, I have barely looked at a BB since school

            • Cheech

              (Oops, my nerd is showing.)

          • Mary Burrell

            Thanks for that.

          • Sweet Ga Brown

            So how can 45 start war without going through congress? Maybe call it a response to an act of aggression…retaliation…short term operation?

            • Cheech

              He could call it any of those things. None of them are legal. But with the lack of opposition, he hasn’t even bothered to give it a name. I’m not sure anyone’s even asked him.

              I think the most accurate rationale in the current environment is, “Who gone check me, boo?”

      • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Authorization_for_Use_of_Military_Force_Against_Terrorists

        ^ so long as you can make a case about who you’re going at are part of “those responsible for the recent attacks launched against the United States.”

        this gives the executive branch wide latitude to use miltary action.

        a great article on this – http://www.radiolab.org/story/60-words/

        Shoutout to the one person who voted ‘no’ on this, Barbara Lee, D-CA.

    • Otherjen

      Excellent questions. The answer to #5 is “almost certainly”.

      • Me

        He just flew out to Mar-a-Lago seconds ago (4:50pm EST) for the weekend

        • Cheech

          He thinks better over their really excellent, truly beautiful cake.

          • Me

            I bet I would too. Especially if Murrikkka was fronting the bill for my thoughts.

        • Otherjen

          Of course he did. As the commander-in-chief, running off to West Palm Beach to play golf makes so much sense when your military has spent the week creating PR disasters. *head desk*

    • Question

      To answer other questions – this sucker is 15 year old technology. Yes we have others. We don’t use them often because of their blast radius, how they are deployed (have to be dropped out the back of a MC-130 cargo plane) etc. Basically these things only work when you’re trying to demolish something big or deep and don’t have to worry about opposition in the airspace (e.g. Fighting someone with no air combat power and satellite guided surface to air missles).

      Source: Quora

      • Phil GoBeGreat

        Not even deep because they aren’t penetrators. But they sound cool and make people think you mean business. I wanna know the damage (as in who and how many Isis combatants were killed)

    • Phil GoBeGreat

      we have more than one, but in the end… it might as well be a Nuke because there is Russias “FOAB” (Father of all bombs) then Nukes on the ladder… dassit.

      MOAB < FOAB < Nuke

    • Val

      I’d be happy to just know what a MOAB was.

      • black-a-rican

        Massive Ordinance Air Blast

        • Val

          Thanks, BAR. That sounds very intimating.

          • black-a-rican

            It’s nowhere near a nuke though.

            • Val

              Yep, got it.

              Wait, Mother Of All Bombs?

              • black-a-rican

                It just sounds scary, like a hellfire missile. I’ve seen the damage it does, and it sounds worse than what it is.

                • Val

                  Okay. Off but still on topic. Since you know about this stuff. Is there such a thing as a bomb that takes out all electronics but doesn’t harm people or destroy buildings and such?

                  • black-a-rican

                    Electromagnetic Pulse or EMP. That’s some old school stuff that we used to try and harness. EMPs usually are an immediate after effect of a nuclear blast, which range depends on what size nuke is dropped. I don’t believe EMP weapons are the preferred electronic weapon of choice at the moment.

                    • Val

                      Very interesting. Thanks a lot for the info.

                    • black-a-rican

                      No problem!

                  • Spicy Kas

                    Based on all the science fiction movies I’ve watched, this exists

                    • ForeveryMountain

                      So science fiction is reality? Then again the way things are going you are probably right

                    • Spicy Kas

                      It was a joke. I know affordable housing not instruments of war.

                    • ForeveryMountain

                      I know but the way things are going, I soon expect to see space ship darkening the skies

        • Cheech

          a/k/a Mother Of All Bombs

    • TheUnsungStoryteller

      6. My bet is on today. Whether the news tells us or not. Regardless, Donald probably already knows. Who knows what he’s hiding from everyone….

    • Epsilonicus

      3. Tomahawks are about a million a missile. I could see MOAB being double digit, low teens of the millions.

      4. Too often. Them ninjas dont care.

      5. Since Melania effed up the easter egg hunt at the white house, probably

      6. Memorial Day

      • ForeveryMountain

        So you are not even giving us til next year to get our lives right?

        • Epsilonicus

          Memorial Day is suppose to be patriotic and Trump loves America so I could see him doing something stupid to prove he is a big bad American gangster.

          • ForeveryMountain

            As long as Uday and Qusay are drafted

            • Epsilonicus

              There you go asking for too much lol

              • ForeveryMountain

                Well we gotta try. A thought just cross my mind, I wonder if the Repubs will find a reason to impeach him to avoid war. The way I see it, 45 is burning bridges with allies at an alarming rate and no war can be won with allies.

                • Zil Nabu

                  Unfortunately, he actually is steadily shoring up the Republican base.

                  • ForeveryMountain

                    Yes but if the US goes to war they will need countries which he is currently insulting. I think even his own ppl are turning on him. Farmers are now realising that they are screewed

                • Sweet Ga Brown

                  Me thinks Bannon and Ivanka are ahead of that possibility.

      • Phoebe Cohen

        Your answers are better!

    • Msdebbs

      I read somewhere it set us back $16 million…. and Flint still doesnt have clean drinking water btw…

      • A.G.

        Priorities.

      • Phoebe Cohen

        Sigh. How many water filters can 16 million buy? Clearly DC doesn’t care.

    • Phoebe Cohen

      1) who knows? Certainly not 45, 2) yes, 3) a hideous amount probably, 4) on vacation and as often as he wants due to the War Powers Act and a recently freed-up military, 5)Yes. . . helloooo bad traffic, 6) Saturday, when NK has its fifth nuclear test and the US is forced to strike back as 45 has promised he will.

  • Phil GoBeGreat

    Except he TRIED to do everything he promised in his campaign (Muslim Ban, Healthcare, etc) and has failed.
    And the things he hasnt failed on, hes flip flopped (labeling China a currency manipulator, defeating isis in 30 days, NAFTA, NATO, Mexico paying for wall, torture etc).
    He hasn’t done one fucking thing of note to anyone not in the oil, coal, or wall street business.
    His supporters should be annoyed as fuck, but they wont be, why? because theyre blind and dumb as fuck

    • Mary Burrell

      You told no lies

    • TheUnsungStoryteller

      They are not upset because Donald is a cowboy. Cowboys never lose. They never die. Case in point: John Wayne played in way to many Westerns. White people are in love with cowboys who can fail at everything, call themselves their own “chief strategists” and lie in order to be seen as the strongest one in the room.

      • ClaymoreParamore

        Funny thing is cowboy culture is some insane level of cultural appropriation too (cowboy culture comes from Mexico, cowboys weren’t vigilantes they were farmhands, most cowboys were Mexican and the next largest group were black). The irony of them co-opting that image for their own gain is…..*sips her goose island at pub on U street*

        • Cleotildebmcwhorter

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        • Jennaaslattery

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        • Susanwhorton

          Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
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    • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

      You’re right.

    • Me

      The problem is that the liberal definition of failure and the conservative definition of failure are very different.

      >Liberals consider the Muslim Ban, Healthcare, and the Wall to be failures because those measures haven’t come to pass when he promised they would
      >Conservatives consider them delayed due to red tape, but they’re still optimistic that it will happen

      >Liberals believe his turnaround on China, Russia, NAFTA, NATO, etc are him flip flopping
      >Conservatives believe he’s negotiating (“aim for the moon, land among stars” type strategy)

      If you go to any of the conservative safe spaces (not the extremes like Breitbart), you’ll see an outpouring of genuine support for Trump, and it sounds eerily similar to the type of support Obama got from liberal safe spaces when he was starting out. They believe he’s working hard, doing his best, and doing a good job. Democrats need to pay attention to THOSE folks, because they’re the ones fueling Trump’s existence and likely reelection. Waiting for them to change their minds won’t help. Figuring out what makes them tick is the key to building a strategy that will give Dems an advantage. That strategy has to include figuring out how to motivate liberal voters to show up in 2018, and how to make conservative voters feel like they don’t need to show up for 2018 and 2020. Antagonizing them won’t accomplish that.

      • Phil GoBeGreat

        While I agree, this isn’t a conservative safe space per se, so I call them what they are…
        and many are changing their minds (see his job approval) and many don’t see it as red tape, especially not HC which was 100% in the hands of the GOP to change.
        I agree about 2018 and 2020, but in all honesty I believe he will be impeached by then.. or on the road. This Russia story gets more bite daily

        • Me

          I know this isn’t a conservative safe space. I only brought them up to show the difference b/c I don’t think anyone is taking notice of those folks (they’re the ones who turned up & turned out for Trump on election day in those states that felt ignored). They are loyal to the teeth, and they aren’t budging unless and until they suffer a tangible loss. These are the folks that are convinced that Obama, Clinton, and the Democrats screwed them over (whether true or not), and they will ride with anybody that ain’t them until given a reason to stop.

          At this rate, I’m not convinced Trump will get impeached. Reason one is because it would take Republicans to impeach him, and they’re too worried about losing voters to do that. Reason two is because voters aren’t going to call for his impeachment unless it’s attached to a legit criminal charge (not just purgery or one of those “impeached, but still president” type charges). To do that, a bunch of federal agencies would need hardcore evidence of crimes that he can’t lawyer his way out of. I don’t see anything in the news that amounts to that level yet, so I’m not holding my breath.

          • Sirx

            “and they aren’t budging unless and until they suffer a tangible loss”

            Exactly! I have nothing to say to them. I have my kettle corn ready, I’ve pulled up a comfy chair, and I’m just waiting, on baited breath, until their suffering starts. And when it does, I will howl with boisterous, hearty laughter in as many of their faces as possible at their self-induced misfortune. That’s MY strategy for figuring out how they tick, at least.

  • cyanic

    Godless humanoids don’t care to blow themselves up right alongside you.

  • nillalatte

    Damon, I know you and PJ run this shyt, but y’all seriously need to think of a spin off for a VSB politics section. IJS This shyt is going to be constant with this di ck head in office. >:|

    • Phil GoBeGreat

      I second this motion.

    • Question

      I think they create these political posts so people have a place to discuss what’s going on without it clogging up the comments sections on other topics. Plus, they can make it obvious that this is about politics, giving folks the option not to click…

      • nillalatte

        It’s really up to them. Just shared my thought. :)

        • Question

          I didn’t intend any snark. I was just saying that I think they are trying to do what you suggest without creating a sub forum.

  • Me

    Don’t even let yourself fall for these questions. You know good and well, their justification will be “live free, die free,” or some other such blindly patriotic slogan (you know, like all the ones they used to justify the war in Iraq). What they don’t realize is that, while he’s going slap happy on that red button, he’s also secretly pushing through the mother of all suicide plans (re: AHCA), b/c he absolutely put that right back on the table and delayed tax reform just this week while we were all talking about chemical warfare.

  • NonyaB?

    I’ve lowkey been pitying ‘Murica in advance because it’s been feeling like sooner or later, the shenanigans of Orange Sh*tler’s actions will have peapos elsewhere retaliate on dat azz. Long range nukulear ain’t a joke.

    • nillalatte

      I’ve already posted a FB love you and goodbye to everyone because with this bitch in office who knows what is going down when and where.

      That said, thank you VSB for being a home to me online for the past seven (?) years or so. I’ve enjoyed most of our time together and had plenty of laughs. For that, I thank each and everyone.

  • miss t-lee

    I don’t even know what to do with this.
    I am perplexed.

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