- eclipse deez
as news continued to break last week about professional fembot kendra wilkinson’s seemingly perpetual supply of leaked sex tapes, three things came to mind:
1. obviously she didn’t read #2 on the vsb do’s and dont’s of making a sex tape, which explicity states:
“over 92% of amateur sex videos are made with cell phone camcorders, which explains how these things seem to leak out so frequently. because of this, you should probably make sure your face is somewhat obscured.
while this can be accomplished with creative positioning, personally, i prefer to just rock twin zorro masks.”
2. you know the leaked pseudo-celebrity sex tape game is over saturated when a commercial featuring rapping hamsters is more talked about, ground-breaking, and, for some, arousing than a vid featuring a former playboy playmate. i’m more enthused to see the human centipede trailer again than i am to watch this tape
3. which celebrity coupling would make the most disturbing celebrity sex tape possible.
espn columnist bill simmons tweeted his choice (author helen thomas and oakland raiders owner al davis), but since they’re not actually a couple, a leaked sex tape between helen thomas and al davis would be as implausible as a leaked sex tape between al davis and helen thomas. so, with the couple caveat (the acting parties need to actually be in a relationship with each other, or, at least rumored to have been in a relationship with each other) in play, who actually makes the cut?
***btw, in this instance “most disturbing” means whatever you want it to***
delonte west and gloria james
i know, i know, i know, i know. no one actually “confirmed” they were in a relationship other than an off-brand radio report and a piece in the huffington post from a man who allegedly raped five of his own daughters.
but, when you combine aesthetics (gloria james looks exactly like her son and delonte west, is, well, delonte west), sports impact (a tape would give confirmation to the rumor that the west/james relationship hurt lebron’s play and effectively ended the cavs season and lebron’s cavs career, possibly changing the course of nba basketball for the next 10 years), financial impact (put it this way: if the “lebron factor” could possibly generate up to 3 billion dollars for the city of chicago if he decides to play there, imagine how much cleveland would lose if he left), abject weirdness, ho-yay undertones (i mentioned that gloria james looks exactly like lebron already, right?), and unprecedentedness (lets just say that this is the first time ive heard the whole mother of a megastar sleeping with the 7th man thing) they belong on the list just for disturbing and destructive potential.
robert pattinson and kristen stewart
just because they both scare the f*ck out of me. plus, i don’t know if america is ready for the number of 8 to 18 year old white girls who’d spontaneously combust if they found out that edward cullen isn’t a virgin
lisaraye mccoy-misick-misick-mcduck and al sharpton
quick story: my freshman year, a few teammates and i caught the train downtown to go see the premiere of the players club. if you recall, in-between the surprisingly gratuitous monica calhoun booty shots, there was actually a script, a few scenes, and a plot. one of these scenes showed diamond (lisaraye) get teased in class by a couple college classmates who knew about her extra-curricular activities. as soon as the scene ended, we overheard one of the women behind us say “see, thats why i hate college-ass n*ggas” to her girlfriends. the girlfriends laughed and co-signed. we drank our raspberry slushes in silence and continued to be completely mesmerized and frightened by ronnie.
i’m aware that this story has absolutely nothing to do with today’s subject, and i apologize for that. i just needed to write something to try to get the image of lisaraye and reverend al making the beast with two backs out of my head.
it didn’t work.
anyway, i’m sure i’m missing a few. can anybody think of any other real or rumored celebrity coupling that could make the disturbing as hell cut?
the carpet is yours.
—the champ
Stacey Dash and Rick Ross.
I know she hot and all, but would he cancel that out?
*closes piano* Oop, gotta go…
Anybody with Rick Ross……plus he prolly would break throughout the tape for snacks.
Stacy Dash and Rick Ross are a rumored couple?
insanely, i can see Ricky Rozay’s appeal (but we already discovered I’m silly for liking thugs)…
Not so much. lol
Shoulda put a disclaimer there, but they just did a video together. That’s all. I didn’t see it, but I guess the premise is that he snatched her up or whatnot. And mad dudes were like, “o_______O”
Cheekie, I thought they were linking Stacey with Jamie Foxx
Yup, they are. But, I put the more gross version as my answer. lol
“*closes piano* Oop, gotta go…”
Hey is that a Color Purple reference? edap if so lol
Yes, ma’am!
Rick Ross?
The guy who played the flying monkey in The Wiz?
The New Jersey housewife who was referenced in connection with crime and drug dealers has a tape. I saw stills on another blog *cringing*
Honestly, it’s hella people I may be okay with in theory that I don’t care to see doing the do.
I think it’s Danielle and I cringe because she seems the most gaunt, emaciated, and surgically altered.
Yes, it is clear she got her a suga daddy lol. I saw the pics of them on a blog site too and I had to laugh.
Flavor Flav and that big Amazon chick
Ewww! Foofie-Foofie and Gita! Agreed.
No one would wanna leak that.
If that got leaked, everything that happened in the films “2012″ and “Friday” would happen simultaneously. End of the world.
Still not yet ready for the human centipede trailer. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe.
It’s available on the numerous bootleg movie websites…Don’t watch it.
It’s hurrible…and turrible…
See, it’s so bad that I lost my southern drawn and picked up a maryland accent for a second.
* Lil Wayne and… well anybody
* The Dream and Christina Milian – Him having no neck & her having no personality would make for an interesting… something
* Jim Jones & soap
*Sheryl Underwood & Wesley Snipes – They look just alike so it’d be like watching twins bone. Yeah, that’s pretty disturbing
That’s all (for now).
* The Dream and Christina Milian – Him having no neck & her having no personality would make for an interesting… something
Co-sign!
“* The Dream and Christina Milian – Him having no neck & her having no personality would make for an interesting… something”
*gag*
Ew. The Dream will always remind me of a Teddy Graham thanks to me fail english? (where is my e-twin by the way?? Shall I call her forth three times?) Another reason it’s gross because he’d surely make some stupid pun about making her falsetto or some sh*t…
“Sheryl Underwood & Wesley Snipes – They look just alike so it’d be like watching twins bone. Yeah, that’s pretty disturbing”
Laughed ’til I cried. Thanks
* Jim Jones & soap
That’s funny right thurr lol
I’m sorry but I might actually pay a nickel or two to see the Jim Jones & Soap sitch. He’s disgusting and I refuse to believe that he uses soap. Its like he bathes in dirty-automatically make yo played out braids nappy-water. UGH!
Yep!!! I’m convinced Sheryl and Wesley are the same person. They ain’t foolin me!
Okay the valtrex tag just made me CTFU. Earlier I saw some clips on TMZ of one of the Real Housewives of NJ-who apparently has a tape that got “leaked”. That was some scary looking isht I tell you. Oh, and Terrance Howard, definitely don’t wanna see that pretty, wet wipes ninja in the act. Yick. Champie, you were scared of Ronnie?
Girl! We are —><—-here because I said the same thing upthread
LoL I saw that you had listed Danielle too. Hahahah. That just shows how disturbing those clips really were.
Notice he said “scared and fascinated.” That pretty much describes my reaction to Ronnie as well.
It was like “Damn, she kinda sexy, but I also wonder if she would handcuff me and rape me.”
I’ve said too much.
Okay…Big Man.
I understand now.
I always wondered what happened to Calvin Murphy after the alleged rape of his daughters. Back in 2003 I was crazy about Steve Francis and would watch the games when Calvin would commentate.
My choice for an odd couple would be Serena and Common. They just seem like a weird pairing to me. I would never put those two together. That’s just weird.
i couldn’t even fathom it when i heard they were together… o_O..
i could however, see Common with me..
“dreams can come true.. it can happen to you”
but since his mental state is now being brought into question he went down a couple notches..
Wait… what about Common’s mental state?
Serena and Common were my choice too. She’s so big and he’s so … small. It just doesn’t seem like it would look right.
I can’t cosign…. common is hot enough to werk the sex tape all on his own, just throw a big ole “CENSORED” over his partner if you want, but he is one hunka hunka burning love.
@Nick , girl the rumor is that he is back on the market! You better get your man lol.
@Michele I agree…In my head it’s weird.
@santa monica LOL @ “CENSORED
Khloe and Lamar…in a threesome with Chyna *distrubed*
Rick Ross and Freeway…battle of the beards *rocking in a corner disturbed*
Co-sign with Khloe and Lamar. If his playing for the Lakers is any indication (in game 2 of the championship series, this negro had more fouls than he did points…and he did NOT foul out! Think about that) then he’s pure trash in bed. He just has the “no-effort-in-life” look about him. I can just see her trying to make it more interesting, sexy, etc and him with that crooked half-smile not caring. Ugh!
Damn you Lamar!
oprah and gayle
Gosh.. sometimes I speak without thinking. Oprah, please dont blacklist me or my life or my family or my future children/pets.
P. diddy and nicki minaj.
kim kardashian and…. anybody. She’s banging and what not but having more then one sex tape is disturbing, just in general.
hugh hefner and any playmate.
“Gosh.. sometimes I speak without thinking. Oprah, please dont blacklist me or my life or my family or my future children/pets.”
*super dead*
“hugh hefner and any playmate”
Am still wondering how anyone would fathom sleeping with that guy creased skin and all his fuglyness*shuddering at the thought!*
my guess would be because of the perks of the house. I used to watch ” girls next door” and they got great gifts, lived rent free and had 24 service. I don’t think he has sex that often they prolly gave him wine and danced around till he passed out and told him it was great.
but er umm Lil Wayne has like 4 children so I think some women have sex with powerful men because they have power.
Dont think I can get past his distorted skin. Aaaargh, an image of his wang just popped up in my head. Need to go vomit my guts out! Yuck
@Anita, girl it’s probably tattooed too.
It’s defffffinitely a power thing. Isnt that why men on men action was so popular back in Sparta and Roman empire days? Cuz the MEN had the power, and people in general are attracted to power.
I mean even now, we have more defined lines concerning sexuality, but every few years or so the men in my life have full blown outbreaks of bromantical behaviour… and they dont even realise it :O
I thoroughly believe Hugh can’t “make those moves” anymore. There’s not enough viagra, ginseng, or chicken feet that could help him.
Long time Lurker, finally commented *Whew* sigh of relief LOL!
Why was Gayle and Oprah one of the first two that popped in my head! BWAHAHAHA That would be soooo gross. I wouldn’t put it past them though.. Steadman probably taped it, and Oprah banned him from joining in!
Kanye West and Taylor Swift
While not necessarily “disturbing”, 2520′s would lose their effing minds, possibly bringing about the end of civilization as we know it. Rioting in the streets. Mass hysteria. Bleeding from the eyes. That sort of thing.
You sir, Have blown my mind.
2520′s would NEVER live that down while every Kanye fan would be laughing there ass off.
He’s only interrupt her climax…
“Hold up Taylor. I know this is good sex and all, but Roxy Renolds had one of the best orgasms on tape of all time”
LOL @ D-weezy, for some reason I see Kanye as more of a ‘look, Taylor, I’m really happy for you and Imma let you finish… but the orgasm I gave myself was the best orgasms of all time.”
————DEAD————-
at DWeezy and Santa Monica.
@D-weezy @santa monica
Hahahaha! Ye would probably have 808′s playing in the background too. Taking time between pumps to admire his work.
HAHAHAHAHA Yup that’s Kanye
*daps santa monica* lmfao
And yeah, big ups to santa monica, you GOTTA include the “I’mma let you finish”, because out of all the “Kanye Interrupts Taylor” jokes, the above definitely needs that line. It’s so apt. lol
Kim Zolaick and Big Poppa
@legitimate_soul–Khloe and Lamar…in a threesome with Chyna *distrubed*
Wtf? That’s beyond disturbed. Lol!
Indeed! LOL! *cringing at the thought*
1. Michelle and Barack. What if he’s really bad? He’s just so cool, it would ruin the free world. Not to mention it’d be awkward to watch the president get it in.
Speaking of presidents-George W. and Laura. Am I allowed to say these things? Is the FBI about to bust down my door?
2. Liza Minelli and the last guy she divorced-the one she beat up or something-who was obviously gay.
3. Lady Gaga and Perez Hilton.
“3. Lady Gaga and Perez Hilton.”
O_O
I’m done with the internet…
Yeah, Michelle and Barack is my choice also. For him gettin’ Lewinski’d by her in the oval office would be disturbing to so many people for so many different reasons. Even them just having wild, passionate f*cking with photos of past presidents up on the wall would be…ummm, interesting.
“Even them just having wild, passionate f*cking with photos of past presidents up on the wall would be…ummm, interesting.”
I bet they did this right after inauguration. Like a big FU to YT.
“1. Michelle and Barack. What if he’s really bad? He’s just so cool, it would ruin the free world. Not to mention it’d be awkward to watch the president get it in.”
Um, that would be just weird. Like watching Cliff and Claire get it on or something. I look up to them too much to see them bumping uglies. It’s too close to thinking of your parents doing it *shudders*
2. Liza Minelli and the last guy she divorced-the one she beat up or something-who was obviously gay.
YES!!!!! Thats the FIRST couple I thought of. The sight of them makes me uncomfy. So Liza’s saggy skin pressed against some dude that’s clearly not interested makes me want to die
had same thought re: monica and bill
since we gonna go political ill keep it going
gov. charlie christ and his new wife, he’s so tanned he’s orange
larry craig and whoever he was trying to bone
ted haggard and his chippy
strom thurmond and his black piece on the side
obvs ive given this way too much thought
Oh and ANYONE w/ Ray J. I threw up six times during the KK and RJ tape
I take it that you REALLY don’t kut for RayJ huh? *giggling*
nope, but I should thank him for helping me to get to my goal weight after that sex tape viewing.
While I think his size was nice, it was obviously that he had no clue what to do with it. He was too busy being a camera hog during the taping. I actually felt bad for KK having sex with him because he clearly was so bad and thought he was the biz. You could just see her thoughts across the screen like “OMG…I’m allowing this to be taped…please pay off…please pay off” LOL
“OMG…I’m allowing this to be taped…please pay off…please pay off”
And it sure did.
Oprah and Tyler Perry….
Madea and Brown lol….
nikki minaj, cassie and diddy
Michael Jackson and Bubbles.
F*ck that. Michael Jackson and any-damn-body.
Too soon?
…yes.
whether it’s too soon or not, I cracked all the way THEE f*ck up. Bubbles!!!! that poor monkey.
FUNNY!!!!!!! (but yeah…too soon LMAO!!)
I definitely was about to call you the biggest pervert b/c I thought Bubbles was his son. Yes that would be disturbing but who thinks that???
My bad
lmfao @ you thought Bubbles was his son.
His son is Blanket.
I’m gonna moonwalk outta this comment thread, though… *shivers*
Michael Jackson and Bubbles. .
iCant!!! Bwhahahahahaha, but Ewwwwwwww!!!
But since we’re taking it there, I’ma submit Gary Coleman and his (ex) Wife aka the debil.
She seriously looks evil. And I was like “WTF?!” when I learned that she took him off life support. o_O like a mug!
FUNNY!
*DEAD @ MIchael Jackson and Bubbles
And nah its not too soon…. no one is exempt! lol
And just for good measure how about we throw in Ben, and make it a minaj!
Singing “Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for ”
#Done lol
My first thought was of MJ and Lisa Marie Presley. The kiss on the video was nauseating enough but then, I thought “It’s too soon!”
Thanks for the opening. No pun intended.
OMG, I would burn out my eyes with a shrimp fork if I saw any of those. Ewwwww, nightmares, nightmares, stomach churning. What about the freaky cooking folks, the Neelys, OMG they would give a whole new meaning to pork on a stick, ewwwwwww!
Peace, Love and Chocolate
Tiffany
“What about the freaky cooking folks, the Neelys, OMG they would give a whole new meaning to pork on a stick, ewwwwwww!”
Bwahahahahaaaa!
i bet he gets it in.
gah i feel dirty typing that
That Neely dude acts like he bangs dudes on the slick. Just saying.
Champ, the last three days of tags have me basically done with you. lmbo.
and um, how tall are you? did you have an injury or something that prevented this much talked about bball career from going further?
i remember that Player’s Club movie outing story about the college-ass ninjas on another post. irock. i think twas about being bourgeois college ppl and how you should stoppitretnow.
anyhoo… if anyone missed the ‘Dear Mama’ remake for Lebron nem, it still makes me laugh. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBULOoSkksc
as far as couples go… i’d never want to see jay z having sex.
or bonecrusher crushing his surprisingly petite wife’s bones.
or brandy and flo rida.
or jonah hill and whomever he’s dating
or forest whittaker and his wife
or chris rock and his wife…
or T.I and tiny
or shaunnie and shaq
or ellen and her chick
or wanda sykes and her white chick
man i could go on and on. but i’ll stop. lol
“as far as couples go… i’d never want to see jay z having sex”
For some reason I feel like Jay and Bey have a lame sex life. She probably lays there trying not to eff up her lace front and he looks like a sweater.
@ Muze. Your list is hilarious!!!! And dead on. A Jigga and Bey tape would really mess me up (despite the fact I LOVE them, or possibly because of it) and TI and Tiny….ughhhhhh!!!
Ellen and her chick would/could be hot. I have always wondered if Ellen was a tribber, a strapper, or both. Plus it would be cool to see if her stroke is as awkward as her dancing.
A T.I and Tiny tape would cause me to commit suicide.
Wanda Syke’s moans of pleasure are the same as the fabled trumpets that will signal the beginning of the trials found in Revelations.
tribber?
*scratches head*
Tribadism, Scissor Sex or Bumping poonanis.
oh ok
Yup I was just about to mention Jay-z and Beyonce. The physical aspect wouldn’t be that disturbing to me tho, I just can’t imagine the sound effect. I don’t think it’d be pleasant
meant to say visual not physical…
@muze
“or brandy and flo rida.”
This wouldn’t be a sex tape it would be a mma match of hairlines.
I think that I would gouge my eyes out if I ever got a glimpse of an old Star Jones and Al Reynolds sex tape. Also on my eww list are Ice-T and Coco.
barbara walters and that black man
nene and ‘nem
brandy and florida
nancy grace and anybody
diddy and kim porter–too awkward. too many teeth
nicki minaj and anything
tiny
@charli skipper
“nancy grace and anybody’
Just imagine what Nancy’s voice sounds like crying out “oh god, god, oh god”?
LOL @ Nancysex/Lovesounds.
OMG I went to CofC too
@Pretty Cute,
Word. When?
I graduated in 07
@Pretty Cute
02
Cool! what was your major? u still in the area?
@Pretty Cute,
History. I’m still holding Charleston down.
Actually, she would say it in a thick Georgia accent, “oh gaaawwwdd, oh gaaawwwdd, oh gaaawwwdd”
Drake and a competent set of eyebrows.
Cornell West and whomever.
Ann Coulter & Al Sharpton.
I really don’t need explanations for all those retina burning situations. Simmons almost had me in the E.R. with thoughts of Helen Thomas & Al Davis. She for darn sure didn’t sleep her way to the top.
I would watch it Ann coulters aka the devil’s advocate and al Sharpton. It would be both disturbing and interesting, especially the conversation lol!
oooo what about skip gates and anybody!?
Some sex tapes that would cause mass panic.
1. George Clooney and Denzel Washington-People wouldn’t be surprise about George but, Denzel would cause many women to quit life.
2. Jon and Kate(from jon and kate plus 8 ) – Just Eww
3. Drake and Lil’ Wayne- O___o
4. Kobe and Lamar-I could see the laker jerseys burning now….
5. Barack with Superhead- If you thought Bill Clinton impeach was bad
6. Sarah Palin and any black guy-Actually this would just be hilarious.
7. Larry King and Athena Franklin- *Face slowly turns into the victims from The Ring
“Some sex tapes that would cause mass panic.
1. George Clooney and Denzel Washington-People wouldn’t be surprise about George but, Denzel would cause many women to quit life. ”
I quit at the thought.
I’m mad that you even thought to put George/Denzel and Drake/Wayne on the list.
If there was even a hint that of tapes, I would have to move
We all felt the samw way about Ronnie, Champ. It’s okay. She was scary(because you wanted to look), but not clown scary.
The thought of Al Davis and Helen “They should all go home” Thomas made me briefly killing myself with a lawn mower like that dude from the “Happening” Just win baby!!!
1) George W. Bush and Condi Rice. We all know they used to make out on Marine One in front of Collin Powell.
2) Tyler Perry and a writing coach. No wait a minute they do need to hook up.
3) I agree with the folks above, I don’t want to see Lamar and Frankenberry doing anything together.
4) Nick Cannon and Mariah. Something isn’t right with these two.
5) R. Kelly and anybody ever again. Ugggh.
6) Kim Jung Il or Kim IL Jung or whatever his name is with the two journalist chick he captured. You know he tried.
@Wu Young Agent of M.E.
*R.I.P. @ you calling her Frankenberry* (heading to the grocery store for cereal)
1) George W. Bush and Condi Rice. We all know they used to make out on Marine One in front of Collin Powell..
Hmmmm. This has the potential to actually be hot. Bwhaha!
@V Renee,
Maybe it could. Condi isn’t easy on the eyes, but she looks like she’d ride you like a rented Altima.
OMGOSH noe! not a rented altima
“but she looks like she’d ride you like a rented Altima.”
Bwhahahahahahaha! Not a rented Altima!
1) Bill Maher and Supahead. I imagine it might look like something of Halle Berry’s and Billy Bob Thornton’s sex scene in Monster’s Ball. Just No.
2)The Duggars. Why are they still procreating. 19 kids that thang is prob all kinds of stretched out.
LMBO at the Duggards. Somehow I feel like they have chex solely to procreate.
Yea I agree, like their goal in life is to see how many kids they can have before she goes through menopause.
LMBO at the Duggards. Somehow I feel like they have chex solely to procreate.
@Deeds
“Bill Maher and Superhead.”
Yea…No…that would not be a nice thing for them to put out! Yuck!
Sextapes that would go all the way wrong:
*Bill and Hillary Clinton – Hillary just seems like she’d be majorly prudish while Bill would be trying to really get his freaky deaky on. Aside from the fact that I really don’t think she likes him very much so it would possibly come off as rape.
*Jermaine Dupri and Janet Jackson – This pairing just seems really weird to me.
*Erykah Badu and any of the rappers whe’s been connected with. Actually, I’d want to see exactly how her “Badu-ism” works in detail ’cause that’s some potent, powerful poonanny.
*Erykah Badu and any of the rappers whe’s been connected with. Actually, I’d want to see exactly how her “Badu-ism” works in detail ’cause that’s some potent, powerful poonanny*
Actually, her tape needs to be like an instructional how-to video. Me and my friends have nicknamed her “Erykah Vajuju” cause we swear her vaj must put some type of back woods juju on ninja’s. She needs to teach a class or sumthin.
Speaking of “Badu-ism”, do yall remember that comment 8th Wonder did about going to Iceland in search of the mythical potion Eau De Badu?!?!?! That comment should be in VSB’s Hall of Fame. HILARIOUS!!
I think you mean 9th Wonder, darlin…lol
@ DG – Are we talking about the same thing?! I’m referring to the comment, that VSB commentor 8th Wonder made. Did she change her name or something???
http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/throwback-thursday-sleeveless-turtleneck-the-power-of-woman/
*Erykah Badu and any of the rappers whe’s been connected with. Actually, I’d want to see exactly how her “Badu-ism” works in detail ’cause that’s some potent, powerful poonanny.
Nah that would never come out. Chick got p*ssy power. That tape would be classified…
I think just watching the tape of Badu would make ninjas go bonkers… Y’all are NOT ready for it. Lol!
And I am dead @V for digging through the archives to find that very high-larious comment by 8thwonder!
Superhead and Bill Maher
—Just because
Gary Coleman and Shannon Price
—Obvious reasons
#ThatsAll
Denzel, Denzel, Denzel…..and…..ANYBODY…but his wife.
Honestly, I can’t watch a chex tape for than a few minutes. I get bored.
my magic question is : HOW do you NOT have the tape after it’s made?! so you gotta worry about it being leaked?!?!
the one time i was talkin about taping anything!! it was gonna be MY camera, and i was gonna keep the footage..
what are you thinking?!?!?!?
ok…
i’m doing this Miami Style..
1. Jeb Bush and anyone- you know, you expect anyone with the last name “Bush” to not be horrible lookin when he’s workin it.. AND know how to work it.. but then you remember he’s an idiot, and you just feel silly..
that’s what happens when you assume..
2. Trick Daddy and Luther Campbell- between the gap, and the gold teeth.. i don’t know what to be more horrified of.. besides, trick daddy just looks like Darkness..- (dave chappelle)
3. Rick Sanchez and his wife- he may be on the big news channel now.. but he started out here.. honestly, i don’t trust anyone that goes through an identity crisis.. your children’s names are Ricarrrdo and Roberto- stop calling them “ricky” and “bobby” like members of new edition..
4. that married couple that runs the christian channel.. i KNOW you’ve seen them, just in flipping channels.. her hair is pink-ish and she looks worse than Tammy Fae Baker.. well, i’ve seen them UP CLOSE and the horrah- THE HORRAH!! ican’t with them… i just can’t..
Non-Miami style..
5. Oprah and Stedman- between him lookin like a mute and Oprah having the balls in that relationship.. i just feel sorry for him..
6. Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra- she’s pretty and all, but if his normal face looks like that, then i for D*MN sure don’t wanna see his “O” face… and with all the piercings, trying to find somewhere to put your hands is like figuring out which shark you’d rather have bite you..
7. Lindsey Lohan and her doctor..- she’s scary enough by herself.. the doctor would be purely ornamental…
8. Brandy and her lacefront- i mean, they’ve been in bed together all this time.. just chex and get it over with.. how does that work?? you can’t pull it.. does it hurt?? CAN you pull it? i’m confused..
9. Lisa Marie Presley and Nicholas Cage- i mean, does he do the angry voices like in “The Rock”.. “i SAID, bring your a** over HERE!” does SHE do the voices like her dad?! when he’s done does he say, “your dad has left the building..?” so many unanswered questions…
i’m just sayin..
and i’m out…
2. Trick Daddy and Luther Campbell- between the gap, and the gold teeth.. i don’t know what to be more horrified of.. besides, trick daddy just looks like Darkness..-
Now between the two of them, who would be the one that is “face down, a$$ up”
To answer that question sadly, it’d probably be Uncle Luke.
He had to learn something from them Luke Dancers after all these years.
you expect anyone with the last name “Bush” to not be horrible lookin when he’s workin it
I don’t know. Dubya’s got that cowboy swag going on- Laura is probably getting it good and proper.
RE: #9….you know LMP and Nic Cage have been over and done for years, right? The freaky thing is that he has an Elvis obsession.
yeah.. i know they’re over.. BUT old tapes can re-surface…
Accidentally watching a leaked tape of Rush Limbaugh and his new wife would make my eyes bleed as my soul cried out.
Lol, it would be boring and he would probably blame ninjas for his lack of sexual prowess!
Bey and Jay-Z
–I can see why they are together, 2 mega stars, who else would they date/marry. But, I can’s see a hint of sexual chemistry between them, and Bey just seems like she would be such a boring lay, a complete waste of legs and hips (b/c she doesn’t have a big booty). Yeah, I wouldn’t be disturbed, just bored to tears. Which would make it a little disturbing.
Weezy and whoever he’s linked to once he gets out of jail
–Disturbing only because I imagine he has tattoos covering every inch of his body. However, I’ll bet money that Weezy puts it down something fierce in the bedroom. How else can you explain all of these women going after him? It’s not his looks….
Flavor Flav & Anyone
Donald Trump & Tara Conner
Whoppi Goldberg & Danny Glover
Cynthia Nixon(S&TC) & her Girlfriend o_o
“Whoppi Goldberg & Danny Glover”
That would put a whole ‘nother meaning to “Celie finsta shave Mistuh”.
o_O
Ew.
I apologize. Anita Baker.
LOL IKR! That would harder to look at than Beloved when Oprah & Danny got it on and they showed his round woman a**. o_o Eww
CLEAR!!! *Defribrilator discharges*
Time of Death: 2:18 p.m.
That actually made my stomach hurt.
@The Law
LMAO!!!!!!!!
“CLEAR!!! *Defribrilator discharges*
Time of Death: 2:18 p.m.”
THAT RIGHT THURR…JUST KILT ME. *DEAD*
Ohh my! Gravatar is improving! They changed my avatar automatically!
I know I shouldn’t be this happy about it but hey…lol
I know who’s se.x. tape was extremely disturbing to watch. Wendy William’s husband Kevin and ol’ (stripper?) girl. Just all around stankness.
I also know who’s se.x tape I would like to star in – the one with MAXWELL AND MYSELF!!! FTW!
@V Renee
How bout…
TheOpinionated1 & Idris Elba! FTW!
That one would be a winner for sure! hehe
LoL!! I say we both work on making it happen! I already have panties with my picture and name/number sewn into them to toss onto the stage for Maxwell. What kind of plan you got? LMAO!!
@V Renee
LOL…Ohh…I have my stalker hat on as I am following him on twitter, facebook, & myspace, not to mention, my cousin used to be his assistant so when I see her at the Fam reunion it’s on! LOL
Ohhh I am not the least bit mad at your stalker hat.
“my cousin used to be his assistant so when I see her at the Fam reunion it’s on”
FTW!!!! Your cousin was a lucky lady. So does she have any inside scoop on him? Lol
@ V Renee
She won’t tell! She’s sworn to secrecy. Everytime I tell her how fine he is she says he reminds her of her brother. o_o They don’t even look alike! Just both dark skinned. I’m gonna try and get something out of her at the reunion next month!!!
sooo far gone at you V Renee. so far gone. LMAO
You should have fedexed your panties to me
… Your future baby daddy Maxwell was on some freaky stuff last night… Can you believe that man said “We are not going to leave until this place smells like p..$$..!!!”" My jaw was on the floor… He is a FREAK!!!!! 
@Sula
“Can you believe that man said “We are not going to leave until this place smells like p..$$..!!!”” My jaw was on the floor… He is a FREAK!!!!! ”
THAT’S. MY. BOO!!!! Oooo weeeee! He would’ve got my custom made undies AND the ones I had on.
**fanning myself**
A while back there was some talk of Kirsty Alley and Jamie Foxx…needless to say I threw up in my mouth a little bit. She’s come a LONG ass way from Cheers and Look Who’s Talking Now.
just sayin…
I don’t think anything ever happened between the two of them. She was on Oprah promoting her new reality show and Oprah mentioned the fact that she has a crush on J. Foxx. She confirmed it and while she was talking, he was listening via satellite. She was embarrassed, but I believe it was all in fun…though, I can’t confirm/deny whether it went farther than that.
“ho-yay undertones”
*snicker* Yeah, you’re a TWOPer. lol
Another one:
Fiddy Cent and a cheeseburger. #thankmelater
I think a sex tape featuring the talented Conan O’Brien would be banging (sniggles). It don’t matter who with, I’m sure he can manage to be the producer, director, writer, and the head star (sniggles again). I would quickly jump on the Conan bandwagon (chuckles).
I have a soft spot for tall lanky redheads
Jersey Shore Edition
Sammi Sweetheart and Ronnie
Snookie and Anyone
Others:
Tiger Woods w/his wife or her look-a-likes.
Michael Bay and Meghan Fox
T-Boz and Mack-10
Leyton Hewitt and Kim Clijsters
I would pay to see:
Anthony Hamilton w/a razor.
Some picks for most disturbing, in no particular order:
Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart. I mean, when you add the un-sexy protrusion of her skeleton to the fact that I’m sure they role-play him doing his angry monologues from “Air Force One” while he’s banging her, it just seems like a horrific scene. Plus, even in movies where Harrison Ford is supposed to be charming, he kisses like he’s about to attack you with “Predator” face.
Arnold Schwarzenegger and…anybody. Maybe it’s the voice. Maybe it’s the ridiculously over-size pecs. Maybe it’s the all-over bronzer that I’m sure would ruin some nice sheets. Either way, I can’t imagine the sounds, LET ALONE THE VISUALS of an Arnold sex tape being anything more arousing than a car accident.
Woody Allen and Soon-Yi. Marrying and screwing anyone who at ANY TIME (no matter the duration) was like a DAUGHTER to you is just icky. Add to that that Woody’s ONLY appeal are his NON-PHYSICAL/VISUAL traits (trademark awkwardness and wit, directing skills, money). If a sex tape of those two ever leaked out, all the other closeted pedophiles might spontaneously combust as their dreams came true. Ewwwww.
Totally forgot one big one:
Flava Flav and Brigitte Nielsen. That “Strange Love” show? Man, I saw a part of it where they were in the bubble bath together and even just that alone was two disturbing to watch. I had to watch a few hours of the Disney channel after that sh*t. Something wholesome.
Flavor Flav alone is not something I want to watch. Sex tape, or just ON tape. He shouldn’t be ON CAMERA. He is quite possibly the most unattractive person I’ve ever seen.
Reminds me of Lisa Lampanelli’s joke at Flav’s roast:
“Flavor Flav looks like how Magic Johnson should look.”
Woody Allen and Soon-Yi.
Co-sign. This could be a Celibacy PSA if it existed. Just yuck!
Willem Dafoe and that bathtub chick from The Shining.
Whoopi and Ted Danson. Can you imagine her f*ck faces?
Sorry about ruining your lunch.
**Dennis Rodman & ANYBODY WHO WOULD DARE
(I am sure something weird will happen that will stick with me forever)
**Latifah & “her personal trainer”
(Still not sure who is Leading that dance)
**Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon
(It would feel like watching a mother & son)
**Chilli & ANYBODY
(At some point it would turn into an instructional video with her giving specific orders and critiquing humps)
**Chelsey Handler & Chuy
-Brandy and just anyone. The way her eyebrows are so close to her front laced wig, she’d look even more distorted when she’s getting the big O.
-Ciara and Bow Wow
-Joan Rivers…
Add ciara and fiddy.
Has anyone said Katy Perry and her fiancé (I think) that stupid British comedian??? That would be gross.
Also lady gaga and…..well anyone. I mean what would she wear to bed???
Lauren London and lil Wayne…ughhh! I just don’t know what she was thinking.
Whitney houston and Ray j…never saw the ray j and KK tape but Ray j and Whitney has to be worse
* Lionel Richie and that blind student of his in “hello” vid
* Flava and that chick who took a dump in his house (he looks like he has skid marks already on his drawers and we already know how she rolls scatalogically)
* Elton John and anyone (that gap of his creeps me out)
* Queen Elizabeth
* Joseph Zuma aka JZ
* Star Jones and anyone
* Precious/ Gaby (sorry, but no I would not want to see her “hit that” )
* Let’s also throw in Mo’nique- she looks like a not-so-closeted dominatrix and loud to boot. And those Billy Goat hairy feet of hers? Just eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww
Intriguing more than disturbing…Chris Brown and Rihanna (current day)
Not because they don’t look like their sex life was the bomb (cuz how else do you explain her staying and even going back after a public azz whoopin), but she seems a bit angry now as a result and them having sex now would give a whole new meaning to “angry sex.”
forgot one more- Dovie Lee Kerner and her menagerie
why is my screen wavin in and out…and my stomach unhappy
i through with link on this joint…
f’ing centipede…..
*eye twitch*
OKay, so I know that it’s been a long time, I know that I’m way off topic and late with it, but that was the first time I’ve seen or heard of the human centipede trailer. I’m dyin in here. See? This is exactly why I can’t be on VSB at work. Alright, I’ll see y’all in another 8 months or so.
-CSN
Never want to see:
1) James and Florida Evans – 27 minutes of “Heh, heh, heh” and “damn, Damn, DAMN JAMES!” with Jimmy “JJ” Walker jumping out of the closet on the money shot yelling “DY-NO-MITE!”
2) Curtis and Ella Payne from “House of Payne” – that’s a whole lotta twisting, lifting, slipping and gripping…would be kinda hard to hear…you know those sounds balloons make when rubbed together?
LMAO! I “saw” your discription of #1 and can hear the ballons rubbing together for #2!
This is just pure hilarity……
Diddy & Jamie Foxx – Actually ya know what…let that is go ahead and hit the net…. so they can both come out of the closet already! *take that, take that*
Macy Gray and Biz Markie- He’ll be beat boxing and she’ll be sing “I try to go down and choke, I try to walk away and I stumble” lolol
anyone who has read the twilight series knows that edward and bella indeed have sex (and have a daughter to boot) in the final novel. no real twilight fan thinks they havent done the do.