Lists, Pop Culture

False Victories Wrongly Decided By Public Opinion

On “tha twittahs” a few days ago, I questioned how it was possible that Pitbull could still be relevant in any way shape or form and T-Pain can’t get a song on the radio. As was expected, folks rained down upon me (no pr0n, R. Kelly, or Mother Nature) the fact that Jay-Z killed T-Pain’s career with his track “D.O.A. (Death of Autotune)”.

Poppycock. Jay-Z didn’t kill T-Pain’s career. Changing musical tastes did. Jay-Z just made the right song at the right time to take credit for the demise. Think about this. T-Pain came onto the scene in 2005 with both “I’m Sprung” and “I’m In Luv (With A Stripper)”. For FOUR solid years T-Pain was EVERYWHERE on radio. “D.O.A” didn’t even come out until the second half of 2009 well after T-Pain was already on the decline; fact is, that’s a long time to sell karaoke for anybody. Yet, Jay-Z is awarded the victory for murking auto-tune and simultaneously T-Pain’s livelihood (though Mr. Pinnedherazzdown did release and sell albums since then, just not nearly as successfully as his 2005-2008 run). And it’s a false victory. Jay-Z just put the stamp on public opinion. Period.

And in contrast, 50 Cent absolutely did murder Ja Rule’s career. I’ll bet Ja has been constructing a voodoo doll in 50’s likeness since the moment he went to jail.

But Jay-Z killing auto-tune (1) is first up in the line of not quite victories wrongly decided by public opinion.

Here are a few others.

2. LL Cool J besting Canibus in their “battle”

Make no mistake, Bus’ “2nd Round Knockout” was by far leagues better than LL Cool J’s response record “The Ripper Strikes Back”. Canibus lost OVERALL because his career sucked. First he blamed Wyclef for creating the the dismal Can-I-Bus album, which was actually terrible. After that travashamockery, people kind of assumed that because Canibus career sucked despite his abilities, that LL Cool J – who has released more clunkers of albums than dope ones, let’s be real – couldn’t possibly have lost. Even now I’ve got somebody telling me that LL won that battle. He did not. But the people spoke and it was so. Even if it wasn’t.

3. Jay-Z vs Nas

Look, I liked “Ether”, the sheer venom in it made it a worthwhile listen. And it was the resurrection of Nasty. For that I’m happy. But the ONLY reason Jay “lost” that battle (he didn’t) was because he released “Super Ugly” and then tried to take it back. John Coffey. That’s the ONLY reason. “The Takeover” is SUCH a better song overall. And Jay didn’t resort to rote disses like “you’re gay” and “you suck” blah blah blah…he hit Nas where it hurt…with facts. And with only one vesre. But because “Super Ugly” comes out and people were happy to hear Nas so inspired, Jay “lost” that battle to Nas. Never happened.

4. The NAACP versus The n-word

Oh wait…the NAACP didn’t win did it, public opinion or otherwise. My bad. Those n-words were trippin.

5. The McRib’s existence vs common sense

Look, there is no motherf*cking reason why The McRib should exist. I’m fairly certain that even the marketing staff at McDonald’s is baffled by this one. But for some reason, despite the fact that its 1) not a rib; 2) is mystery meat; and 3) comes with pickles and onions; every time they drop the McRib, people lose their sh*t and buy them at an alarming rate making health care practioners who run HMOs happy. So somehow, the McRib continues its reign of terror on our arteries (kind of like the Baconator) because the people have created a false sense of demand for a product that nobody in their right mind needs. See also: The McGriddle. If McDonald’s isn’t the devil, then I don’t know what is. But the McRib stays around anyway. Because we have willed it so. Shame on you.

Alright, those are a few examples of false victories decided by the court of public opinion. What else do you have? VSB, let’s call out the fakers, posers, and bullishers.

And yes…I fully expect to get a gang of comments disagreeing about Jay vs. Nas. You may disagree with me. You will be wrong.

WHAT!

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. DO YOU WANT A VICTORY! aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

 

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Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • Eliblue

    I love the fact that 50cent wasn’t able to end Rick Ross’s career. He tried and failed miserably. By the way, Does McDonald’s still use the ‘pink slime’ in their burgers?

    Thanks, for resolving the site issues. I thought that I was going to have to find a new website to read today while working:).

    Peace!!!!!!!!

  • DQ

    Ninjas stay making up ish all the time. I guess that’s where this Jay-Z destroyed Autotone narrative came from. From Jay’s own mouth:

    http://www.sohh.com/2009/06/jay-z_on_t-pains_unexpect.html

    He didn’t mean any harm, he was just embracing the record…I’m not saying autotune is wack…I’m not saying that, I just put a soundtrack to it, I put a voice to it. If people wasn’t feeling this way then the record wouldn’t work the way it would…The culture is bigger than the politics.

    So there it is, the movement came first, then Jay-Z spoke on it.

  • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

    Men vs Women. We all know who wins…. (Women). *drops mic*

  • DQ

    I have to say that I think 50 Cent gets a lot of credit for ending Ja Rule’s career the same way Jay-Z got credit for destroying Auto tone. In both cases I think the people were tired of something first, and were just waiting for someone to be the face of the movement.

    Outside of the people he signed, 50 hasn’t been able to derail a single career since then (except his own). His attempts on Rick Ross (who seemed like he was an even easier target than Ja Rule) failed miserably.

    LL on the other hand, NEVER won a single lyrical battle, but won EVERY career war. No one who ever battled LL, lost lyrically, but no one who battled LL ever had an upward career trajectory. Kool Moe Dee, Wyclef, Canibus, hell you might even add Ice-T (musically) – all of them effectively out of the music business.

  • Iceprincess

    The ability to move properly vs. “fashion”. Guys with their pants sagged so low that they have to walk from side to side with theyre hips like a cowboy to keep them from fallin down.

  • http://vanityinperil.com Vanity in Peril

    Wait, so we’re NOT supposed to like TPain anymore?

    *Record-stopping scratch sound on my digital copy of Chopped and Screwed

    … yeah, like… I knew that and 3hit.

    Pitbull makes me angry. Very angry. I’ll pay Maxwell whatever whenever whomever to make him go away. I know he can do it. Canibus was the most wasted excuse for a rap career and talent ever found. I liked him and wanted him to win but apparently he didn’t get the memo that you can’t be a dick until you get to the top. Not on your way up there. Game, blouses… I mean LL.

    It’s time for the NAACP to pick a new battle. Saying the n-word is so late aughts. They should be railing against the word ninja now or something. Black nerds are en vogue now. The day of the Geechie is upon us. (I have no point)

    I have never tasted the McRib. Or the McGriddle. Or one of those BK “International” chicken sammich doodads. I’ve also never had a Big Mac so I’m not so much healthy as I am greasy-food sheltered.

    s/n: What in da hell happened to the site last night? Y’all forgot to pay the light bill or something? Was it just my interwebs? I came by about 12:15-ish and the lights were off and there was all kinds of street parking available. Did not feel right.

  • http://www.twitter.com/randomnimrod RandomNimrod

    what nutjob said LL beat Canibus?

  • JuiceCrewAllStar

    Part of the reason Nas gets credit for the victory is that the whole beef started when Jay ripped the dead presidents line and built a whole (hit) song around it without any hat-tips in his direction. The whole “you made it a hot line, I made it a hot song” stuff was baloney.

  • Iceprincess

    Mcdonalds needs their azz beat. Mcrib jus goes to show that u can literally cover a piece of sh*t in bbq sauce & ppl will eat it. Their steak& egg bagel scares me too. Its not the texture of any “steak” ive ever had. And more grease then the bp oil spill. Gross. I’ll take a mango smoothie & keep it movin.

  • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

    “5. The McRib’s existence vs common sense”

    This one is TOO baffling. I’ve never had the McRib (meant to taste it before I swore off the swine but didn’t… care enough I guess), but it looks like it tastes like raccoon knees and gout. But, for those who have actually had it (which… at least ONE person has to come here and admit they love it given the numbers of ninjas who go batsh*t for this sammich), please tell me what it REALLY tastes like.

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