Lists, Pop Culture

False Victories Wrongly Decided By Public Opinion

On “tha twittahs” a few days ago, I questioned how it was possible that Pitbull could still be relevant in any way shape or form and T-Pain can’t get a song on the radio. As was expected, folks rained down upon me (no pr0n, R. Kelly, or Mother Nature) the fact that Jay-Z killed T-Pain’s career with his track “D.O.A. (Death of Autotune)”.

Poppycock. Jay-Z didn’t kill T-Pain’s career. Changing musical tastes did. Jay-Z just made the right song at the right time to take credit for the demise. Think about this. T-Pain came onto the scene in 2005 with both “I’m Sprung” and “I’m In Luv (With A Stripper)”. For FOUR solid years T-Pain was EVERYWHERE on radio. “D.O.A” didn’t even come out until the second half of 2009 well after T-Pain was already on the decline; fact is, that’s a long time to sell karaoke for anybody. Yet, Jay-Z is awarded the victory for murking auto-tune and simultaneously T-Pain’s livelihood (though Mr. Pinnedherazzdown did release and sell albums since then, just not nearly as successfully as his 2005-2008 run). And it’s a false victory. Jay-Z just put the stamp on public opinion. Period.

And in contrast, 50 Cent absolutely did murder Ja Rule’s career. I’ll bet Ja has been constructing a voodoo doll in 50′s likeness since the moment he went to jail.

But Jay-Z killing auto-tune (1) is first up in the line of not quite victories wrongly decided by public opinion.

Here are a few others.

2. LL Cool J besting Canibus in their “battle”

Make no mistake, Bus’ “2nd Round Knockout” was by far leagues better than LL Cool J’s response record “The Ripper Strikes Back”. Canibus lost OVERALL because his career sucked. First he blamed Wyclef for creating the the dismal Can-I-Bus album, which was actually terrible. After that travashamockery, people kind of assumed that because Canibus career sucked despite his abilities, that LL Cool J – who has released more clunkers of albums than dope ones, let’s be real – couldn’t possibly have lost. Even now I’ve got somebody telling me that LL won that battle. He did not. But the people spoke and it was so. Even if it wasn’t.

3. Jay-Z vs Nas

Look, I liked “Ether”, the sheer venom in it made it a worthwhile listen. And it was the resurrection of Nasty. For that I’m happy. But the ONLY reason Jay “lost” that battle (he didn’t) was because he released “Super Ugly” and then tried to take it back. John Coffey. That’s the ONLY reason. “The Takeover” is SUCH a better song overall. And Jay didn’t resort to rote disses like “you’re gay” and “you suck” blah blah blah…he hit Nas where it hurt…with facts. And with only one vesre. But because “Super Ugly” comes out and people were happy to hear Nas so inspired, Jay “lost” that battle to Nas. Never happened.

4. The NAACP versus The n-word

Oh wait…the NAACP didn’t win did it, public opinion or otherwise. My bad. Those n-words were trippin.

5. The McRib’s existence vs common sense

Look, there is no motherf*cking reason why The McRib should exist. I’m fairly certain that even the marketing staff at McDonald’s is baffled by this one. But for some reason, despite the fact that its 1) not a rib; 2) is mystery meat; and 3) comes with pickles and onions; every time they drop the McRib, people lose their sh*t and buy them at an alarming rate making health care practioners who run HMOs happy. So somehow, the McRib continues its reign of terror on our arteries (kind of like the Baconator) because the people have created a false sense of demand for a product that nobody in their right mind needs. See also: The McGriddle. If McDonald’s isn’t the devil, then I don’t know what is. But the McRib stays around anyway. Because we have willed it so. Shame on you.

Alright, those are a few examples of false victories decided by the court of public opinion. What else do you have? VSB, let’s call out the fakers, posers, and bullishers.

And yes…I fully expect to get a gang of comments disagreeing about Jay vs. Nas. You may disagree with me. You will be wrong.

WHAT!

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. DO YOU WANT A VICTORY! aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

 

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • Eliblue

    I love the fact that 50cent wasn’t able to end Rick Ross’s career. He tried and failed miserably. By the way, Does McDonald’s still use the ‘pink slime’ in their burgers?

    Thanks, for resolving the site issues. I thought that I was going to have to find a new website to read today while working:).

    Peace!!!!!!!!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      hell, i thought i was going to have to find a new site to read today. lol. these things happen.

      i think if this was 2003…or if 2009 was 2003, 50 would have definitely deaded Rick Ross’s career.

    • Keisha

      Me too!!! I felt like I was going through withdrawals.

    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      “By the way, Does McDonald’s still use the ‘pink slime’ in their burgers?”

      I actually meant to look up whether Mickey D’s officially responded to these claims, but I got lazy. Blame it on, um… McDonald’s itis. Yeah, that.

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      I think they just brought back the pink slime fairly recently.

  • DQ

    Ninjas stay making up ish all the time. I guess that’s where this Jay-Z destroyed Autotone narrative came from. From Jay’s own mouth:

    http://www.sohh.com/2009/06/jay-z_on_t-pains_unexpect.html

    He didn’t mean any harm, he was just embracing the record…I’m not saying autotune is wack…I’m not saying that, I just put a soundtrack to it, I put a voice to it. If people wasn’t feeling this way then the record wouldn’t work the way it would…The culture is bigger than the politics.

    So there it is, the movement came first, then Jay-Z spoke on it.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      men lie, women lie, quotes don’t like most days.

  • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

    Men vs Women. We all know who wins…. (Women). *drops mic*

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      men.

      • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

        WRONG. We have poon.
        Poon >>>>> Peen

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          while i do agree. poon gives you a disadvantage.

          emotions.

          • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

            False. Emotions are an advantage. When you deal with them.

            • ThisIshRightHereNinja

              BOOM.

              • DQ

                Expressing emotions is not the same as dealing with them.

                POW

                • Justmetheguy

                  ” Expressing emotions is not the same as dealing with them.”

                  Game…blouses…actually shirts in this case…

          • http://blackmedici.wordpress.com Black Medici

            It’s kind of funny, poon is indeed more valuable than peen. But men are far greater than our peens whereas women barely surpass the value of their poon, that’s why the gap between a regular man and a famous man, is much bigger than the gap between a regular woman and a famous woman.

            • KT

              Great point.

            • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

              Peen is only made great when it acquires poon. Which is greater, the land or the seed? Women are the land and you ninjas are just seeds. Bwahahahaha!

              • http://blackmedici.wordpress.com Black Medici

                Obviously you’ve never heard of Jesus.

                • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

                  My logic is unassailable, Peen holder!

            • dd

              Can you give an example of this? (gap btwn great man and average man and great woman average woman)

        • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

          …But men have power…Boo yah!!!!!

        • http://blackmedici.wordpress.com Black Medici

          True you have poon…but there’s more than 3 billion versions of poon. If there were 3 billion Benzs in the world, they would all be dirt cheap and common. However, the truth is that the illusion of poon-power is a consequence of all the lies that men tell women everyday.

          • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

            Poon always wins. Sorry. Thanks for playing.

            • http://blackmedici.wordpress.com Black Medici

              Wins what exactly?

              • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

                Everything. Poon wins by comvincing Peen that physical strength and a limited ability to emote and communicate are powers. Then Poon convinces Peen that he should use his “powers” to serve Poon. Peen cannot refuse cause more than anything, Peen wants Poon.

  • DQ

    I have to say that I think 50 Cent gets a lot of credit for ending Ja Rule’s career the same way Jay-Z got credit for destroying Auto tone. In both cases I think the people were tired of something first, and were just waiting for someone to be the face of the movement.

    Outside of the people he signed, 50 hasn’t been able to derail a single career since then (except his own). His attempts on Rick Ross (who seemed like he was an even easier target than Ja Rule) failed miserably.

    LL on the other hand, NEVER won a single lyrical battle, but won EVERY career war. No one who ever battled LL, lost lyrically, but no one who battled LL ever had an upward career trajectory. Kool Moe Dee, Wyclef, Canibus, hell you might even add Ice-T (musically) – all of them effectively out of the music business.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i dont know. Ja Rule was flying pretty high when 50 cent came onto the scene with Wanksta.

      look at it this way…Ja Rule’s album The Last Temptation came out in Nov 2002…and went platinum. he still had top 10 singles and was nominated for Grammy and won a source award in 2003. like dude was STILL. making dough and doing his thing. “wanksta” was on the 8 Mile soundtrack in 2002 and did the slow burn but eventually everybody started laughing at Ja cuz he couldn’t retaliate properly and then poof vamoose son of a b*tch, he’s out of there.

      i think Ja was still winning when 50 cent ja rule’d him.

      • Mo-VSS

        I agree. People were still rocking to Ja. I, for one, was not one of them. After his first single, I just could not. Him and Ashanti, two of the most untalented artists to ever get lucky and sign a deal, started coupling up and it just made for fantastically bad music.

        If for no other reason than he killed Ja’s career I will forever love 50 cent. Oh…and I’m glad he didn’t kill Rick Reezy’s career as well. I actually like him.

        • EmancipatedMiMi

          You need more people….

          Show of hands–

          Who didn’t sing along to “Always On Time” or “Foolish” when they were on the radio circa 2001? Keep in mind that this was before Pandora and such, when radio was king….

          I’ll wait…

      • DQ

        Yeah but the Last Temptation was less successful than “Pain Is Love”. Yeah he did numbers, but he did less of them in (at least in initial sales) because people were already saying he was too commercial, he sang-rapped too much, and that he was trying to be Tupac.

        I don’t know how much steam the Tupac argument had, but as for going commercial and sing rapping?

        http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1077/is_6_57/ai_84344864/
        http://www.theboombox.com/2011/04/29/ja-rule-apologizes-for-leading-the-singing-rap-movement/

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          i honestly feel like if Ja Rule had come up with one more sing songy as hook song he would still been successful. especially since 50 ended up doing teh same sh*t, just not singing about love…

          • EmancipatedMiMi

            I bring this same fact up during EVERY 50 Cent v. Rule argument.

      • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

        I don’t think 50 Cent destroyed Ja Rule’s career- Ja Rule destroyed Ja Rule’s career.

    • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

      I wonder why LL never answered MC Shan’s “Beater Biter”.

      • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

        I meant “beat biter” #effmyspelling.

      • DQ

        It’s a good question. Maybe he just didn’t think he was established enough… though it should be noted, MC Shan’s career is over as well…

        …coincidence? LOL ok I’m kidding that everything to do with KRS not LL.

        • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

          another strange fact is that Marey Marl went on to produce records for almost everyone Shan battled.

          • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

            Further adding insult to injury is that they sold more than anything he did for MC Shan (See: the triple platinum “Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J.

            • DQ

              Which is probably why Marley Marl worked with them LOL. Deep down inside, I just feel like he could see the writing on the wall, that he was “backing the wrong horse”. I ain’t mad at him, he made the right choice in hindsight.

              • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

                It’s funny though, while Marley made classic records in the Juice Crew, his biggest hits came from outside of the collective (See: Lords Of The Underground and Da Youngstas).

                • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

                  I’ve read a few interviews with cats from the Juice Crew saying Marley was ganking them too. #soyousayyouwannabeinshowbusiness

  • Iceprincess

    The ability to move properly vs. “fashion”. Guys with their pants sagged so low that they have to walk from side to side with theyre hips like a cowboy to keep them from fallin down.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      we call that hood skiing.

      • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        LOL, hood skiing. Perfection.

    • Iceprincess

      *their

  • http://vanityinperil.com Vanity in Peril

    Wait, so we’re NOT supposed to like TPain anymore?

    *Record-stopping scratch sound on my digital copy of Chopped and Screwed

    … yeah, like… I knew that and 3hit.

    Pitbull makes me angry. Very angry. I’ll pay Maxwell whatever whenever whomever to make him go away. I know he can do it. Canibus was the most wasted excuse for a rap career and talent ever found. I liked him and wanted him to win but apparently he didn’t get the memo that you can’t be a dick until you get to the top. Not on your way up there. Game, blouses… I mean LL.

    It’s time for the NAACP to pick a new battle. Saying the n-word is so late aughts. They should be railing against the word ninja now or something. Black nerds are en vogue now. The day of the Geechie is upon us. (I have no point)

    I have never tasted the McRib. Or the McGriddle. Or one of those BK “International” chicken sammich doodads. I’ve also never had a Big Mac so I’m not so much healthy as I am greasy-food sheltered.

    s/n: What in da hell happened to the site last night? Y’all forgot to pay the light bill or something? Was it just my interwebs? I came by about 12:15-ish and the lights were off and there was all kinds of street parking available. Did not feel right.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      we had some technical difficultues. but they’s married nawh!

      lol. we good.

  • http://www.twitter.com/randomnimrod RandomNimrod

    what nutjob said LL beat Canibus?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      ive had arguments with peopel who tried to tell me this. real talk. i was on a long distance car ride and we argued about that one beef for over an hour of the 3 hour trip.

      • nillalatte

        Note to self: No road trips with Panama.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          my road trip convos are epic.

          once on the way from Atlanta to Huntsville, AL…me and my boys got into an argument about whether or not Stevie Wonder had any vocal range. yeah yeah he can sing…but range? none.

          this lasted for four hours b/c we didn’t have any Stevie CDs on us to verify.

          • nillalatte

            On my recent road trip I got to listen to teenage girls go batshytcrazy over Justin Bieber’s new song, Boyfriend, and One Directions, What makes you beautiful. Before that was Katy Perry’s, California Gurls. Is it a wonder I like to travel alone? lol

            • Girl Kanyeshrug

              Umm recently had to listen to listen to Diggy Simmons album on repeat.(then had to pretend I wasn’t into it because everybody who was into it was a kid)

              • EmancipatedMiMi

                I leave my 3 yr old home alone so I don’t have to be subjected to the cautionary tale of Humpety Dumpety for the billionth time…

                (before y’all call Rick Ross or one of Fiddy’s bodyguards — another example of Fiddy’s hypocrisy btdubbs– I don’t really leave her home alone, but I’ve dreamt about it…many many many times)

          • The Dude

            Over the past few weeks, I’ve passed through this site occasionally, and although I’ve found much of the commentary to be compelling, I’ve hesitated to comment on the various subjects (due mostly, to laziness) but, today, good sir, you’ve left me no choice. Anyone who believes Stevie Wonder doesn’t have vocal range, doesn’t know music. Although his chord progressions are somewhat deceptive, and may lead the listener to believe he’s not doig much, don’t be fooled, playboy. He’s got range.
            See: Do I Do
            Love Light In Flight
            If you Really Love Me
            These 3 Words
            Part Time Lover
            You Haven’t Done Nothin’
            There’s a reason so few vocalists do SW remakes. Range.
            That Is All. Back to lurking. Duces

    • Todd

      Full disclosure: I grew up 5 blocks from LL Cool J, and I used to see him all the time when he was in town visiting his grandmother. Dude has always been mad cool to the old hood.

      That said, LL won with Canibus. LL is the Robert Horry of hip-hop: he might be average to mediocre, but he has a knack of hitting those big shots when he needs to. Which makes the crap he puts out sound worse. It’s like “wait…didn’t you put out…I mean…WTF???!!!”

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        LL ain’t hit a big shot in eons.

        • Eric McD

          Saying LL is average is blasphemous. LL has 3 of the top rap albums of all times. I think we in 2012 try to judge LL from 2012′s lense instead of the context of his time. I wouldn’t be wasting time rapping either if I was getting CSI money. What’s the point?

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            that would be well and good but HE keeps deciding to rap. and further…what are those 3 top rap albums of all time??

            Mama Said Knock You Out okay…but what are other two top rap albums of all time??? I assume you’re including Bigger and Deffer and Mr. Smith. and i think those are both debateable. highly debateable.

            It aint like you’re talking Ice Cube with the run of AmeriKKKa’s Most WAtned, Death Certificate, and The Predator.

            • Eric McD

              The fact that you didn’t say his first album “Radio” makes your whole premise suspect.

          • http://www.twitter.com/randomnimrod RandomNimrod

            LL is average. If he took whatever serum Micheal Jackson wanted and stayed 16 and kept rappin like that then yeah I’d say he was ok but he grew up and became that greasy lipped bastard with a kangol. After Pink Cookies (no homo) dropped, thumbs down

            • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

              I only see him as Agent Sam Hannah of NCIS now. I can’t acknowledge any of the Headsprungesque f***ery.

  • JuiceCrewAllStar

    Part of the reason Nas gets credit for the victory is that the whole beef started when Jay ripped the dead presidents line and built a whole (hit) song around it without any hat-tips in his direction. The whole “you made it a hot line, I made it a hot song” stuff was baloney.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      eh…i think thats debateable as to why Nas gets credit. for one, why would that matter. it’s hip-hop. hell, even on “Takeover” he acknowledges that Illmatic was a hot album. i dont think Nas took exception to that. i suppose i could be wrong.

      i think folks give Nas the victory b/c of Super Ugly and Jay looking petty. which means that Nas got to him. It’s impossible for anybody to convince me that “ether” was better than “takeover”. was it more emotional? yes. Nas was definitely upset. Jay was just stating facts.

      • Iceprincess

        Ok but its waaay easier to kill somebody with facts. It is what it is so u dont have to be creative. What jay did was just mean. Since nas didnt have any facts to say about jigga, he had to kill him in the abstract. Thats why nas gets my vote.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          so you think its better to just lob random ass “you’re gay” statements that sound mad but really dont amount ot sh*t?

          • http://moacn.wordpress.com Sir Fariku

            For the longest time I thought Nas won, hell I was team Nas when the beef was going on but when I listen to the records of that beef era. I think Jay definitely won. Like you said and I agree, Ether was a great track because of the venom not really because of the substance, if it was a playground diss battle it was like the kid with a bad retort when you called them out on some factual ish.

            When it comes to Rap Battles, I think its not only lyrically winning that matters, its also about how your career progresses from there and how you can take advantage of being the right person at the right time. Nas is one of the greatest lyricists out there but Jay-Z is like the president of hip hop today so yeah, Jigga won.

      • Todd

        I’m sorry, but when a song title becomes a verb, that song won. I still know people who says so-and-so Ethered someone. No one ever Super-Uglies someone. And that is Why Nas won.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          this might be the best argument, but that just means Nas knows how to title sh*t. like say “hiphop is dead” another good name where he didn’t do much of sh*t to really back up the statement.

          also, ether becoming a verb has as much to do with us as it has to do with Nas. good argument, but i cant give it to him on that alone.

          hell, name one true stinging line in that song. Jay only had to respond b/c the streets are like everybody else…”ooooooooooh Nas got him!!!” even though he didn’t.

          Jay had a sensitive thug moment.

          • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

            Jay definitely won on paper but Nas won in the hearts and minds of hip hop heads. More than anything else everybody was just happy to have Nas back, closer to Illmatic form. Takeover ETHERS Ether anyday. I think Jay overshot. He was REALLY battling, like in real life. He wanted to bury Nas. You can’t bury Nas though. He’s a legend who unfortunately he does too good of a job burying himself SMH. Nas hardest reality-based punch in Ether was calling Jay-z a Stan. Dame Dash has gone on record saying that Jay-z has always had a weird fascination with Nas. A lot of Jay-z’s early stuff is CLEARLY Nas influenced. BTW this is coming from a dude that thinks that Jay-z is the greatest rapper of all time.

          • Todd

            Also, there’s the whole Rockafella comment which few people outside of New York got the meaning of. The Rockafella Jay-Z named his label after really was a kingpin who died of AIDS and of whom it came out he was gay. Yeah, it was a “you’re gay” joke, but it was a damn creative one, and factually accurate.

            • Justmetheguy

              ” i think folks give Nas the victory b/c of Super Ugly and Jay looking petty. which means that Nas got to him”

              You’re onto something, but Todd’s pointing out some undeniably relevant points.

              “Put it together, I rock h*es yall rock fellas.”
              See that lil history lesson from Todd actually makes this line even iller than I initially thought it was.

              As someone else said Jigga won on paper but it was OBVIOUS that despite starting the beef Jay was clearly hurt by the buzz and respect that Ether brought Nas (the opposite of what Jay was hoping for by starting the battle) as well as the embarrasment it brought him. He resorted to punching harder (to the point that he sounded petty and childish in an otherwise solid diss “Super Ugly”) and exposing himself to be emotionally sensitive. In short, Jay wrote better bars and brought up more relevant facts, but Nas won. Perception/public approval is strange like that. It’s so weird to me how the reason Nas won was so subtle yet so obvious. I didn’t know Dame said that about Jay being infatuated with Nas but I got that feeling too. Reminds me of the movie Gangster Number 1. Jay’s the deranged sociopath and Nas is Freddie Mays. (Crosses fingers and hopes at least one person gets the reference)

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                eh…even knowing the facts behind that stuff doesn’t make it anything more than….”you’re gay”.

                further, that whole named after a hustler in BK shit that died of AIDs and turned out gay is urban legend too.

                • Justmetheguy

                  @ Petey- I hear you, but “I f*cked your slutty *ss baby mama” is no more mature than calling someone gay in a creative manner…Hip hop is childish cause it’s run by egotistical dudes tryna be more popular than each other lol

            • http://moacn.wordpress.com Sir Fariku

              Never knew that, now Ether makes a whole lot more sense.

        • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

          ^^^What Todd said…

        • http://www.chocolate-american.tumblr.com Rod

          “Because you-know-who did you-know-what with you-know-who
          But let’s keep that between me and you (for now)”

          In my head that pretty much deaded the whole beef. I’m on the left coast so I didn’t really here Super Ugly (the Jigga version), but pretty much nothing I heard from Nas’ side stuck in my mind like that.

  • Iceprincess

    Mcdonalds needs their azz beat. Mcrib jus goes to show that u can literally cover a piece of sh*t in bbq sauce & ppl will eat it. Their steak& egg bagel scares me too. Its not the texture of any “steak” ive ever had. And more grease then the bp oil spill. Gross. I’ll take a mango smoothie & keep it movin.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      people need jesus.

      easter.

    • Todd

      http://www.theawl.com/2011/11/a-conspiracy-of-hogs-the-mcrib-as-arbitrage

      This explains the McRib. In short, they can only afford to do with when pork prices are below a certain point. Otherwise, they’d either have to lose a couple bucks a sandwich or jack up the prices something crazy.

      • SheWhoMustBeObeyed

        I always enjoy reading your posts. Your perspective is always fresh, interesting and insightful.

        Carry on! :)

  • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

    “5. The McRib’s existence vs common sense”

    This one is TOO baffling. I’ve never had the McRib (meant to taste it before I swore off the swine but didn’t… care enough I guess), but it looks like it tastes like raccoon knees and gout. But, for those who have actually had it (which… at least ONE person has to come here and admit they love it given the numbers of ninjas who go batsh*t for this sammich), please tell me what it REALLY tastes like.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i feel like you could eat the mcrib and still not be eating swine. i’m not altogether even convinced that its actual meat.

    • Iceprincess

      High fructose corn syrup laced bbq sauce covered azzhole.

    • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

      I don’t think there is nary an oink in a McRib. Some folks on twitter suggested tonton or werewolf but not swine.

      • DQ

        There were also some mentions of synthetic blend of Yeti and Alpaca meat, I personally think there is a feral colony of Chupacabras on some secluded wild life preserve that find their way into a McRib or two… but that’s just a theory.

        • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          The McRib is basically a non-meat meat orgy.

          • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

            “The McRib is basically a non-meat meat orgy.”

            More like non-meat/synthetic-meat/undesirable meat gang bang. Not quit the same thing.

        • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

          I can roll with that. Jay-Z and the Illuminati raise them in conjunction with the Dharma Initiative.

          • http://vanityinperil.com Vanity in Peril

            Aw, I miss Lost. :(

    • Mo-VSS

      I’ve never had it and I don’t get the hype about it. I looks nasty, fake and like something that would cause your arteries to explode upon intake.

    • http://www.twitter.com/randomnimrod RandomNimrod

      McRib is made from unicorn meat and glazed with crushed leprechaun